# classes for men... warning sexist



## treblesykes TT (Jul 11, 2007)

Classes for Men at
THE
ADULT LEARNING CENTRE

REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED
By Dec 30, 2007

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED! TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.

Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays--Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM .

Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?--Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5
Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
At 7:00 PM

Class 6
Loss Of Identity--Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7
Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum .
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8
Health Watch--Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost--Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon , 2 hours.

Class 11
Learning to Live--Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
On-line Classes and role-playing .
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM .

Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 14
The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.


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## slineTT (Feb 24, 2006)

Well there must be classes for women too:

Class 1
Shoes and handbags are not above God or husband. Discuss

Class 2
Yes, if you have two hands the toilet seat can be moved on the down position if you are trained properly. Training exercise on the nearby loo.

Class 3
Learning to drive without killing anyone. Practical and theory lessons in a car. The car concept is explained as well.

Class 4
Learning how to parallel park without scuffing alloys, or scratching anyone else's car. Continuation of Class 3

Class 5
Learning how to clean his car. Continuation of Class 4

Class 6
DIY is essential to your survival. How to do things better than a man. Discussion and practice on a wall and white appliances.

Class 7
Talking is good but talking for several hours without even drinking water or taking a deep breath is a bad health practice and can lead to fatal injuries. Practice at a bar and then at a hospital.

Class 8
Competing with men in drinking makes you more attractive to the opposite sex. Discuss

Class 9
Sat Nav. Full demo and theory on how to find your way home.

Class 10
Shopping is good for your health and bad for your b/f, husband's health. Learn how to go shopping on your own. Practical tips and directions on how to walk out of the shops before spending money on shite things you will never use.

Class 11
TV and remote is not for you. You can go shopping. Learn how to leave your man in peace and quiet.

Class 12
Having a Ferrari is not excessive, lessons on how to invest in cars

Class 13
Cooking is good for you and your family. Teach your self to cook well and make them happy, so they won't moan about your excessive shopping.

Class 14
Cleaning the house is good for your family. As above&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;.

Graduates may apply for the Masters course: "How to appreciate men."


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## phodge (Sep 1, 2002)

slineTT said:


> Class 8
> Competing with men in drinking makes you more attractive to the opposite sex. Discuss


I've already been on that class!! :lol:

Didn't work.....  :wink:


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## slineTT (Feb 24, 2006)

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: Penny...........

There is an essex meet next week. You want to come?


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## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

slineTT said:


> :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: Penny...........
> 
> There is an essex meet next week. You want to come?


I hope Penny attends. Penny and I can have a mud fight? :lol:


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## phodge (Sep 1, 2002)

Sorry guys, it's just a little too far for me after work.


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## QuackingPlums (Mar 10, 2004)

Am I the only bloke who thinks that both the seat AND the lid should be left in the lowered position? How unsightly is it to have that greet you every time you walk into the bathroom?!

Seriously, how long does it take to lift it - if you're THAT desperate, you needed to have gotten off the sofa a whole two seconds earlier... :roll:


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## jbell (May 15, 2006)

QuackingPlums said:


> Am I the only bloke who thinks that both the seat AND the lid should be left in the lowered position? How unsightly is it to have that greet you every time you walk into the bathroom?!
> 
> Seriously, how long does it take to lift it - if you're THAT desperate, you needed to have gotten off the sofa a whole two seconds earlier... :roll:


No I always put the seat down but I have soft close seats so a simple tap down and they do it all on their own


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## phodge (Sep 1, 2002)

QuackingPlums said:


> Am I the only bloke who thinks that both the seat AND the lid should be left in the lowered position? How unsightly is it to have that greet you every time you walk into the bathroom?!
> 
> Seriously, how long does it take to lift it - if you're THAT desperate, you needed to have gotten off the sofa a whole two seconds earlier... :roll:


We always have the seat and lid down too. It was a decision we made when we moved in together. If he has to lift to pee, so do I!!!!

:lol:


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