# It's all shit isn't it?



## Kell (May 28, 2002)

A good friend of mine just told me that the baby they've just had lived for just 11 hours before dying.

Unfortunately they've been given no good reason why but that in itself deserves the flame of flames.

(Edit:

Names have been removed - see below for the incredibly petty reason why.)


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## head_ed (Dec 10, 2002)

There are no words for this... such a terrible thing to happen..

I am so sorry for your friends.

Martin.


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## scott28tt (Jul 30, 2002)

My g/f and me have just started 'trying', so I too can only send sympathy to your friends.

There are no words that we normally see in the flame room that need to be said.

That's really bad.


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## scoTTy (May 6, 2002)

I've been in the same position as you when good friends suffered this tradegy.

There's not a lot that can be said. Just try to be there when they need you and give them their space when they don't.

Sincere condolences. Â :'(


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## Neil (May 7, 2002)

As close friends of 2 couples that have both just had babies, seeing the joy it brings them, I can think of nothing worse


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## saint (Dec 6, 2002)

I'm sure the poor couple will be overjoyed that they are being discussed in a car flame room Â 
Kell - shit as it maybe - somethings don't deserve to be in here.


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## vlastan (May 6, 2002)

Really bad for this to happen.

But there are worse things out there. This is what happened to a couple. The woman gave birth to a healthy baby...but she then died!!  :'(


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## R6B TT (Feb 25, 2003)

Kell
Really sorry to hear this - it's no consolation, but honestly you don't realise how often this happens or people miscarry until it happens to you. I hope they get all the support they need.


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## BreTT (Oct 30, 2002)

As a new Dad myself I can only sympathise. Hopefully there were good physiological reasons for this happening and it has saved them and the baby a lifetime of suffering.

sa|nTT, I say this because you are a good mate, but shut it - people deal with these things in different ways, it is not up to us to question what is flamable. Â :-/


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## garyc (May 7, 2002)

> I'm sure the poor couple will be overjoyed that they are being discussed in a car flame room Â
> Kell - shit as it maybe - somethings don't deserve to be in here.


A point!!!

Inappropriate flame material. :-/

And whilst we are all indulging ourselves with this, many scores of children have died needlessly in India and Africa due to completely avoidable causes that one doesn't care to flame. :-/


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## scoTTy (May 6, 2002)

Christ - so the flame room is now Polically Correct is it?

Can't you let someone let some emotiion out without having a pop?

Remind me not to rely on this place when I need some comfort/support.


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## Steve_Mc (May 6, 2002)

> Christ - so the flame room is now Polically Correct is it?
> 
> Can't you let someone let some emotiion out without having a pop?
> 
> Remind me not to rely on this place when I need some comfort/support. Â


Gary's gone all "right-on" since he found out his soul is worth the same as a new V6 ;-)

Kell, flame away at life's injustices. Ditto what Brett said, also as a new father I deeply sympathise with your friends.


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## garyc (May 7, 2002)

> Christ - so the flame room is now Polically Correct is it?
> 
> Can't you let someone let some emotiion out without having a pop?
> 
> Remind me not to rely on this place when I need some comfort/support. Â


Pointing out the apparent inappropriateness of using a public forum flame room for what are essentially personal emotional outburts, is not 'having a pop'.

I do however have the deepest sympathy for anyone who had to rely on such a public vehicle for comfort/support. That is so sad. Some might say it was self-gratifying, self-righteous and attention seeking. :-/

Perhaps we should all air our griefs and tragedies on here? Why don't we have a separate Forum for counselling Relate and Samaritan type issues?

No one is not going to have sympathy with Kell but most people come here for information and entertainment, not necessarily in that order.

Anyway, what about Johnny Cash? 

Lighten up.


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## garyc (May 7, 2002)

> Gary's gone all "right-on" since he found out his soul is worth the same as a new V6 ;-)
> 
> Kell, flame away at life's injustices. Ditto what Brett said, also as a new father I deeply sympathise with your friends.


I think i'm worth more than a poxy TT


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## scoTTy (May 6, 2002)

> Pointing out the apparent inappropriateness of using a public forum flame room for what are essentially personal emotional outburts, is not 'having a pop'.
> 
> I do Â however have the deepest sympathy for anyone who had to rely on such a public vehicle for comfort/support. Â That is so sad. Â Some might say it was self-gratifying, self-righteous and attention seeking. :-/
> 
> ...


I must have missed the day you posted the rules about what someone can flame about or not.

Additionally I'm not suggesting that anyone would rely on this place for anything but it would be nice to think that this community is there in a small part during such times.

Regards lightening up - I'm not the one trying to lay down rules. This flame room has rules which you seem to be trying to overule :



> The flame room is designed to allow one and other to vent their feelings about anything at all.


also



> this is IMPORTANT.
> 
> The flame room will NOT tolerate personal attacks against any individual on this forum.


The first means you have no write to suggest what can and can't appear in here. It also means your comment about highlighting "inappropriateness of using a public forum flame room" is incorrect here.

The second you are at risk of breaching when you suggest it's self-gratifying, self-righteous and attention seeking. Not very friendly or fitting for someone who's felt they needed to or wanted to post here.



> I think i'm worth more than a poxy TT


I disagree.


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## saint (Dec 6, 2002)

> sa|nTT, I say this because you are a good mate, but shut it - people deal with these things in different ways, it is not up to us to question what is flamable


Agreed - but I felt the post was just a little too personal - esp since names were included.
I too have had friends go through this heartache and in my line of work we deal with bereaved parents regularly. I would however never name them in an open forum.

Anyway - when the next pintas ;D


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## scott28tt (Jul 30, 2002)

I know a bloke called Ed, and another one called Ken, but I can't see them being upset with me cos I've used their names here :-/

I don't see your point, particularly in the context of Kell's original post :-/


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## saint (Dec 6, 2002)

ok - I know a guy called Nick - his wife just tried to commit suicide - I know a guy called Rob - his sister committed suicide yesterday after the death of her father last week.

I'm sure they would be happy for me to air their laundy on here. - My point


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## scott28tt (Jul 30, 2002)

I'm sure Kell thought of that before making his post....

I don't *think* he was being insensitive, I *think* he was very sincere

You may recall him mentioning that this was a good friend of his.... :

Can we stop taking this thread away from the topic please? I doubt Kell or his friends really care about anything else but the baby at the minute :-/ He didn't deserve you having a go at him.


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## Kell (May 28, 2002)

Look, I didn't come one here for my own sake.

I wasn't seeking attention and nor was I expecting sympathy to be directed at me. God knows all my problems pale into insignificance compared to my friend's.

However, I still happen to think that someone losing an 11 hour old baby is worth a flame.

Sorry for breathing.

But hey, at least I got the opportunity.

Thank you to rest of you.


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## saint (Dec 6, 2002)

Note - thi si of course personal feelings - as the flame room states blah blah - I'm entitled to make a comment just as much as the next guy. 
Anyway - a flame flaming how fragile and cruel life can be would have been better - and a flame on why does things like that hurt so much and are totally undeserving.


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## scott28tt (Jul 30, 2002)

But surely by your logic we can create topics in the flame room on whatever we want?

So, if you're allowed to make any comments you want, anyone else can create any topic they want.

And if someone creates a topic in the flame room you don't like, you don't have a go at them.

I'm bored with this now


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## saint (Dec 6, 2002)

lol - this could go on.....and on....and on.... doh..... ;D

Lets just say we actually agree......just from a dif perspective.


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## saint (Dec 6, 2002)

I need a drink................................


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## scott28tt (Jul 30, 2002)

Mine's a pint 8)


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## saint (Dec 6, 2002)

No problem.......so's mine ;D


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## garyc (May 7, 2002)

> I must have missed the day you posted the rules about what someone can flame about or not.
> 
> Additionally I'm not suggesting that anyone would rely on this place for anything but it would be nice to think that this community is there in a small part during such times.
> 
> ...


1. Since when did suggesting something was inappropriate, constitute laying down rules? Â Do not confuse 'inappropriate' with 'wrong'!

2. Since when did _you_ earn the right to extrapolate otherwise from my very carefully worded post?

3. The use of third party 'Some might suggest....' and use of Â :-/ was deliberately not done in the first person and offered Â the viewpoint that more than one person might share that view. Â From reading the thread that is in fact borne out by the other mixed responses.

4. I am sure that if, as you accuse, I have broken the rules (they are etiquette guidelines actually, but don't worry) that you can report the post for breaching the rules.

5. There was clear statement that no one could fail to sympathise with the situation and yet it was still construed by you as a personal attack.

6. The only personal attack on this whole thread is yours about my self worth, again extrpolated from a 'light' comment (denoted by use of Â ) in reply to Steve Mc.

......and that sir makes you a fucking hypocrite.


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## Dubcat (Jun 10, 2002)

you lot who are arguing about whether this thread is wrong or right... just take a look at the kind of shit you are writing. Please find something else the fuck to fight about. Morons.. the lot of you. 
W.


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## UK225 (May 12, 2002)

Agreed


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## ronin (Sep 6, 2003)

*now now girls!*


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## kce821tt (May 17, 2002)

FUCKING HELL, I cannot believe the way this post has gone!
For the original post - Kell - I'm very sorry for you friends.
Flame room is somewhere that people can talk about what they want, if you don't like it, don't read it.
I have two kids aged 12 & 9 and I'd pay the ultimate price to keep them safe/defend them/ whatever - they mean the world to me.
Compared to another forum I visit, I USUALLY find that the people on this forum are quite intelligent (...most people don't just get GIVEN a Â£30k sports car!), and I'd like to think that part of being fairly intelligent, is having the capacity to be compassionate.


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## scoTTy (May 6, 2002)

Kell,

Apologies the thread turned out like this. I guess the fact that someone was suggesting your post was inappropriate came across to me as wrong hence my posts. I should have taken this away from this thread. Sorry.


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