# Spiders



## fut1a (Dec 28, 2006)

I have read some articles lately saying what a good year its been for spiders. I can confirm this cos in the past 3 days I have caught 9 large house spiders, evrytime I turn around there is a little fecker running along the floor, and these are just the ones I can see. Can you imagine how many there are lurking in the shadows.


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

dont!!!! i hate the buggers with a passion, scares the crap out of me & yes at this time of year they are coming indoors for the warmth. why did you catch them and not just stomp them????


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## KammyTT (Jun 28, 2006)

They are meant to be bigger than ever this year Diego climate and I've seen a few big feckers posted on facebook, here is the first one my dog killed in our new house a couple of weeks ago









You can imagine it full size! Eeek


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## fut1a (Dec 28, 2006)

Gazzer said:


> dont!!!! i hate the buggers with a passion, scares the crap out of me & yes at this time of year they are coming indoors for the warmth. why did you catch them and not just stomp them????


The other half doesn't like me killing them. I will have to invest in a spider catcher to save hunting for something to use. Don't tell her but some have met the underside of my slipper


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

KammyTT said:


> They are meant to be bigger than ever this year Diego climate and I've seen a few big feckers posted on facebook, here is the first one my dog killed in our new house a couple of weeks ago
> 
> 
> 
> ...


just isnt right kammy.......even the garden orb ones have bodies the size of tennis balls this year and as for those red ones that hide in and around the stack of bricks we all have left over WTF they are mutant nasty looking bastards


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## muTTley (Mar 15, 2004)

go and collect some conkers - apparently they don't like the smell :? might be cobblers, but going for a nice walk and collecting conkers hand in hand with the missus will lift your day


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## Tangerine Knight (Jul 25, 2010)

not much gives me the shits but got cough and say they scare the shite out of me

had to get the wife to get rid of one the other day from the bog before i would go in, must have been bad as i was touching cloth at the time [smiley=toilet.gif]


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## jamman (May 6, 2002)

These little critters used to scare the shite out of me till I picked one up one night when I was drunk and realised how dumb I had been.

Spiders eat flying fuckers and I fucking hate flying fuckers so they are cool IMHO :wink: :lol:


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## Tangerine Knight (Jul 25, 2010)

im just a big girls blouse,oh wasps as well i do a good impresion of an olympic sprinter


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

blackpoolfc said:


> im just a big girls blouse,oh wasps as well i do a good impresion of an olympic sprinter


 :lol: :lol: :lol: love it bud


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## jamman (May 6, 2002)

Now wasps are a different matter they are just plain EVIL :twisted:


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## YoungOldUn (Apr 12, 2011)

jamman said:


> Now wasps are a different matter they are just plain EVIL :twisted:


I have been playing tennis with them using one of these http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B000 ... ss_product
:twisted: :twisted:


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

YoungOldUn said:


> jamman said:
> 
> 
> > Now wasps are a different matter they are just plain EVIL :twisted:
> ...


bit off topic here jim............is the shock enough maybe to make the mrs or daughter make me a cuppa when required.........not that i would dream of stroking the mrs rear of leg with this product :lol:


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## rustyintegrale (Oct 1, 2006)

Deep fry for 30 seconds inbatter, serve on a plate with a chili dip.

Job done.

I have a dinner party next week. One spare space...


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

rustyintegrale said:


> Deep fry for 30 seconds inbatter, serve on a plate with a chili dip.
> 
> Job done.
> 
> ...


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## SalsredTT (Jan 8, 2011)

Blasted things are like monsters this year.

I swear the last three I 'helped on their way' were bigger than my 5 year old grandson. Mind you, he has more balls killing them than I do!!!

And I TOTALLY agree about wasps - useless black and yellow parentless persons they are. I fffffff hate em.


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

SalsredTT said:


> Blasted things are like monsters this year.
> 
> I swear the last three I 'helped on their way' were bigger than my 5 year old grandson. Mind you, he has more balls killing them than I do!!!
> 
> And I TOTALLY agree about wasps - useless black and yellow parentless persons they are. I fffffff hate em.


sal just zoomed into ya pic..............massive black spider behind you kiddo :lol:


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## SalsredTT (Jan 8, 2011)

Hey Gaz - rearrange this well known phrase - off puck!


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## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

rustyintegrale said:


> Deep fry for 30 seconds inbatter, serve on a plate with a chili dip.
> 
> Job done.
> 
> I have a dinner party next week. One spare space...


Any mayo also with that?


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## Redscouse (Sep 30, 2008)

Yes they seem to be more common and BIGGER this year, i dont like the little fookers either, although if i see one i kill it and dont run off, but i hate them!

Wasps, Daddy-long legs and anything else i can easily deal with, dont bother me 8)

Paul


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## ParkishMonk (Aug 5, 2011)

muTTley said:


> go and collect some conkers - apparently they don't like the smell :? might be cobblers, but going for a nice walk and collecting conkers hand in hand with the missus will lift your day


LOL - My neighbour told me this yesterday and I thought she was _CONKERS_ - but now I have heard it somewhere else - maybe there is some truth in it?????  
Right doggies - time for a walk to collect some conkers.


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## NaughTTy (Jul 9, 2003)

ParkishMonk said:


> muTTley said:
> 
> 
> > go and collect some conkers - apparently they don't like the smell :? might be cobblers, but going for a nice walk and collecting conkers hand in hand with the missus will lift your day
> ...


I can confirm this works too - hardly have any spiders in my house since we started putting conkers around the window frames and any other small enty points. Sadly, once they are dried out the they don't seem to have as much effect.


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## YoungOldUn (Apr 12, 2011)

NaughTTy said:


> ParkishMonk said:
> 
> 
> > muTTley said:
> ...


I can confirm that this stuff really does work http://spiderex.worldsecuresystems.com/. It has stopped the spiders building their webs over my security camera.


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## Mark Davies (Apr 10, 2007)

I'm with Jamman on this one - they serve a useful purpose which is to clear flying insects (which of course serve no purpose at all except to be eaten). More than happy to have spiders in the house. In fact they make great pets - really easy to look after, cost nothing to feed and you can leave them alone when you want to go away. Ours is called Desmond and he lives under the telly. It's always a treat to see him in the evenings when he comes out to hunt for dinner. He _is_ quite big, now.

As for my friend Yas she can't stand them! She will leave a room if there's one in there (when I say leave I mean run out screaming!) and as she lives alone that could mean not being able to use her bedroom for days until someone comes to visit and can check it out for her to ensure it is clear of monsters. She would kill them if she could (which I would be most disapproving of) but thankfully she couldn't get close enough to one to do it any harm. However I do have visions of her finding herself in desperate need to get rid of a spider from the bathroom so she can go to the loo and resorting to getting her shotgun out (she does have one) and blasting it to smithereens. It will happen one day.


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## antcole (Apr 4, 2009)

Ladies and Gents..... these are spiders.....
These are the 'orrible bastards we have here..... and they make your hair stand on end when theyre on the move!!!










And.... yes, thats a 24mm ring spanner....










Nice eh....


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## Tangerine Knight (Jul 25, 2010)

antcole said:


> Ladies and Gents..... these are spiders.....
> These are the 'orrible bastards we have here..... and they make your hair stand on end when theyre on the move!!!
> 
> 
> ...


SHIT THE BED i cant even look


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## antcole (Apr 4, 2009)

Lovely arent they...... :-|


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## Tangerine Knight (Jul 25, 2010)

ive just plucked the courage to study the one by the phone its got bigger teeth than ken dodd


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## Korry (Aug 24, 2009)

I hate them but there is no way they are coming out alive if I spot one of them. 
I always say: a spider that shows itself in my house has a death wish and I am really happy to help. 
I killed one in my bedroom the other day it was as big as my hand!!! I saw a few of them recently really massive.


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## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

antcole said:


> Ladies and Gents..... these are spiders.....
> These are the 'orrible bastards we have here..... and they make your hair stand on end when theyre on the move!!!
> 
> 
> ...


Ant  how the hell do you sleep at night?


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## antcole (Apr 4, 2009)

Dotti said:


> Ant  how the hell do you sleep at night?


Well tucked in, bed triple checked for 'infidels' prior to getting in and a can of PiffPaff next to the bed....

Also, with the A/C on maximum freeze-yer-spuds-off, not many beasties want to stay in my room...

Always check my boots before putting me feet in them, and all clothes get a damn good shake out before putting owt on!!

Just in case.....


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

antcole said:


> Ladies and Gents..... these are spiders.....
> These are the 'orrible bastards we have here..... and they make your hair stand on end when theyre on the move!!!
> 
> 
> ...


fuk me ant!!!! where are you in the saharah dessert??? they are big wee beasties if ever i saw a big wee beastie that is lol.
sorry bud but i'll stick to blighty if thats what is abroad eeekkkk


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## antcole (Apr 4, 2009)

Believe me... ive been here for 6 years and ive never ever once got used to seeing them yet....
They make your skin crawl...... eeeuuuurgh.....

Im in Sudan and as well as them horrors, theres scorpions, snakes, botfly, guinea worm and a beetle that squirts acid out of its arse if you piss it off..... fuck knows what its called but bollocks to that lot!


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

Defensive production of formic acid (80%) by a carabid beetle (Galerita lecontei)

The carabid beetle Galerita lecontei has a pair of abdominal defensive glands that secrete a mixture of formic acid, acetic acid, and lipophilic components (long-chain hydrocarbons and esters). Formic acid, at the concentration of 80%, is the principal constituent. The beetle ejects the secretion as a spray, which it aims accurately toward parts of the body subjected to assault. At full capacity, the glands store 4.5 mg of formic acid (3% of body mass), enough for upward of six ejections. The beetle reloads the glands at a rate of 126 μg of formic acid per day. For the approximately 500 secretory cells of the glands, this means an hourly output of 10 ng of formic acid per cell, or about 5% of cell volume. Replenishing empty glands to their full formic acid load takes the beetle an estimated 37 days. Replenishing the 0.7 mg of formic acid expended in a single discharge takes 5.5 days.

ouch.......deffo bollocks to that lol, you in the oil industry then m8ee i assume......off topic a tad sozz op


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## antcole (Apr 4, 2009)

Gazzer said:


> Defensive production of formic acid (80%) by a carabid beetle (Galerita lecontei)
> 
> The carabid beetle Galerita lecontei has a pair of abdominal defensive glands that secrete a mixture of formic acid, acetic acid, and lipophilic components (long-chain hydrocarbons and esters). Formic acid, at the concentration of 80%, is the principal constituent. The beetle ejects the secretion as a spray, which it aims accurately toward parts of the body subjected to assault. At full capacity, the glands store 4.5 mg of formic acid (3% of body mass), enough for upward of six ejections. The beetle reloads the glands at a rate of 126 μg of formic acid per day. For the approximately 500 secretory cells of the glands, this means an hourly output of 10 ng of formic acid per cell, or about 5% of cell volume. Replenishing empty glands to their full formic acid load takes the beetle an estimated 37 days. Replenishing the 0.7 mg of formic acid expended in a single discharge takes 5.5 days.
> 
> ouch.......deffo bollocks to that lol, you in the oil industry then m8ee i assume......off topic a tad sozz op


Yeah, that'll be the little firey arsed bastards!
Alls i know is "dont fuck with them, they squirt acid in your eyes" :lol:

Off topic, Gaz, yeah im working for a Sudanese oil producer, contracted through a UAE company...... not a bad number, 28/28 but no booze  
Pays for my TT vices i suppose.....


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

Cool number bud, cept the critters that is lol. Think I will stick to blogger all the same.....my fear came from a pink toed bird eating tarantula pet that sank it's fangs into my hand. Had bloody numb arm for a day and felt a twat at hospital visit.


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## Stefen (Sep 16, 2010)

Went to Bangladesh at the end of last year. I saw one massive spider, the span of its legs was greater than the span of my hand. Scary. There were lots of ones about 2" in diameter though.


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## muTTley (Mar 15, 2004)

watch this one tear the head off a lizard...






i think we should nuke the planet from orbit - it's the only way to be sure...


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## antcole (Apr 4, 2009)

muTTley said:


> watch this one tear the head off a lizard...
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Thats the fuckers..... ive seen a clip somewhere of one battling with a scorpion..... nasty


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## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

I'm not watching it, it will give me nightmares :wink:


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

Dotti said:


> I'm not watching it, it will give me nightmares :wink:


eeew scary deffo abs. imagine that in ya drawers oooeeerrrr


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## SVStu (Dec 11, 2006)

> Re: Spiders
> by muTTley » Tue Sep 20, 2011 3:49 pm
> 
> watch this one tear the head off a lizard...
> ...


Its an arachnid not a spider, never the less I'd still peg it if it came toward me [smiley=bigcry.gif]


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## nate (May 9, 2011)

This is what we found at work last thursday.....

(not our pic) i did take a pic but it was on the work phone 6230i so it came out shit...










luckily i didnt find it i would have shat my pants and then some......

i dont mind spiders , i mean i can look at them but absolutly no fucking way am i touching them or letting them crawl on me.... i cant touch them but i can look at them as weirdly find them quite interesting????

this little barsteward is a right little nasty...

he was a baby ..(judy) found him in the banannas at work it looked as though it had just died as wasnt completly knarled up like they do, we had to freeze it to kill the eggs and then had to send it away for clarification and tests....

brazillian wondering spider

if it were to bite you, you would die within the hour!!!!!!!!

that has made me a little scared of some of the spiders now as you have all said they are getting bigger!! we have a guest at the moment in our den and it looks normal but its massive for a 'normal' spider it hasnt moved for 3 days now?? if i can il get a pic today as it is big!


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

Nate.....get another job bud as that is not a fucking healthy place to work in my opinion bud


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## Amaranth (Aug 13, 2008)

Gazzer said:


> Nate.....get another job bud as that is not a fucking healthy place to work in my opinion bud


Seconded


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## ResB (Apr 17, 2005)

A pic of one I took in my garden. Makes me shiver when I look at it.


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

ResB said:


> A pic of one I took in my garden. Makes me shiver when I look at it.


when i have had the marque up all summer they love getting around the lights with big big webs and turn yellow as no sun....look bloody scary then with massive swollen bodies from food and no enemies as birds wont come in.


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## antcole (Apr 4, 2009)

nate said:


> This is what we found at work last thursday.....
> 
> (not our pic) i did take a pic but it was on the work phone 6230i so it came out shit...
> 
> ...


Wondering??? Its got me wondering!! (and BTW..... i believe that species can jump too....)
Jesus H, thats a frightening prospect.... dead within an hour.....

Mind you Nate, it wouldnt get me..... it'd be slippin on my shit as im running the other way! :lol:

** that one in the garden is the Garden spider or the 'holy cross spider' due to its white cross on its back.... they will bite but it leaves an irritating bump like a nettle.... eeeuurgh!!
I had one of them on my face once.... moral of the story, never be the first to go in the maze at longleat.... they were everywhere..... and i just walked right into the web....oh christ... new pants please....


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

Lmao, I did that few years ago at family gathering bud.....screamed like a right woos lol


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## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

ResB said:


> A pic of one I took in my garden. Makes me shiver when I look at it.


That's a fantastic photo 8)


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## A3DFU (May 7, 2002)

Mark Davies said:


> I'm with Jamman on this one - they serve a useful purpose which is to clear flying insects (which of course serve no purpose at all except to be eaten). More than happy to have spiders in the house. In fact they make great pets - really easy to look after, cost nothing to feed and you can leave them alone when you want to go away. Ours is called Desmond and he lives under the telly. It's always a treat to see him in the evenings when he comes out to hunt for dinner. He _is_ quite big, now.
> 
> As for my friend Yas she can't stand them! She will leave a room if there's one in there (when I say leave I mean run out screaming!) and as she lives alone that could mean not being able to use her bedroom for days until someone comes to visit and can check it out for her to ensure it is clear of monsters. She would kill them if she could (which I would be most disapproving of) but thankfully she couldn't get close enough to one to do it any harm. However I do have visions of her finding herself in desperate need to get rid of a spider from the bathroom so she can go to the loo and resorting to getting her shotgun out (she does have one) and blasting it to smithereens. It will happen one day.


 :lol: :lol: :lol:

I used to have a bIG spider in my bathroom (now a smaller one = its kiddie??) and many years ago when I had a cleaner I asked her to be careful not to upset my pet spider. She never, ever cleaned the bathroom so I got rid of the cleaner :lol:

As for flying insects not serving a purpose: where do your apples, plums, tomatoes etc come from? I hope the answer is not "from the supermarket" as I would want to ask "and how do they get there?":wink:


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

well wasps dont carry them in do they Dani


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## A3DFU (May 7, 2002)

I agree: wasps don't carry apples [only very small ones] :wink:


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

A3DFU said:


> I agree: wasps don't carry apples [only very small ones] :wink:


small? ok :lol:


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## nate (May 9, 2011)

A3DFU said:


> As for flying insects not serving a purpose: where do your apples, plums, tomatoes etc come from? I hope the answer is not "from the supermarket" as I would want to ask "and how do they get there?":wink:


they come from all over depends on what time of year the season , the cost , the availability, the quality, transportation etc etc first port of call is the UK everything is tried to be sourced from the uk first , if the suppilers cannt supply the demand or the buyers dont get the right deal etc it will then get out sourced... but always try and get uk produce first...

the banannas come from jamaca... yes on boats and dock at barry... takes between 8-12 weeks to come across depending on weather conditions etc

the spiders hitch lifts from everybloody where!! lol

houndoures, costa , etc....


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## YoungOldUn (Apr 12, 2011)

Gazzer said:


> well wasps dont carry them in do they Dani


Maybe wasps don't but the moths could judging by the size of their balls :lol:


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## A3DFU (May 7, 2002)

nate said:


> A3DFU said:
> 
> 
> > As for flying insects not serving a purpose: where do your apples, plums, tomatoes etc come from? I hope the answer is not "from the supermarket" as I would want to ask "and how do they get there?":wink:
> ...


And how do the flowers of apple, plum, banana tress or tomatoes, beans, peas etc. get fertilised to produce fruit and veg in the first place? :roll:


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

Dani................help!!!! these bloody tomatoe plants are bringing hordes of little firkin flies in to the house, how do i stop it hun?????


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## seasurfer (Apr 10, 2009)

Well, we have had a wasps nest all sumer in the garden and its been amazing watching them carrying things in to it, and building it for weeks, and not a seconds trouble from them and not a single one in the house. They catch and eat flies so thats good enough for me to let them stay. They decided the bird house was suitable to set up home and filled it to the brim, having to make another entry to the nest as they had blocked up the way in,

As for spiders, we have just bought a rural cottage which has been empty since last december and its taken me ages to get rid of the hundreds of the little sods, by washing them away or putting them outside. I can see out of the windows now  fortunately i dont mind them, but dont want to live with them. Seen enough spiders to last me for years though [smiley=bigcry.gif]

Gill


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

seasurfer said:


> Well, we have had a wasps nest all sumer in the garden and its been amazing watching them carrying things in to it, and building it for weeks, and not a seconds trouble from them and not a single one in the house. They catch and eat flies so thats good enough for me to let them stay. They decided the bird house was suitable to set up home and filled it to the brim, having to make another entry to the nest as they had blocked up the way in,
> 
> As for spiders, we have just bought a rural cottage which has been empty since last december and its taken me ages to get rid of the hundreds of the little sods, by washing them away or putting them outside. I can see out of the windows now  fortunately i dont mind them, but dont want to live with them. Seen enough spiders to last me for years though [smiley=bigcry.gif]
> 
> Gill


rather you than me Gill.........wasps have been plentyfull this year i found


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## A3DFU (May 7, 2002)

Gazzer said:


> Dani................help!!!! these bloody tomatoe plants are bringing hordes of little firkin flies in to the house, how do i stop it hun?????


Thank your lucky stars Gaz else you wouldn't be able to enjoy your toms :wink:

Btw, I had a mega meal tonight: home grown potatoes, kohlrabi, beetroot and carrots: yum, yum [smiley=chef.gif] [smiley=chef.gif]


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## newt (May 12, 2002)

The halfords battery powered vacuum cleaner is basically useless, however it can suck up spiders and live flies, this saves the spider weaving a web.


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

watched this fecker overpower a jasper yesterday and wrap it up for supper.


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## fut1a (Dec 28, 2006)

I have just bought one of those to stop the wife complaining when I kill them, it works well even catching smaller ones too.

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Spider-Catche ... 336b0bed9f


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## A3DFU (May 7, 2002)

fut1a said:


> I have just bought one of those to stop the wife complaining when I kill them, it works well even catching smaller ones too.
> 
> http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Spider-Catche ... 336b0bed9f


Poor spiders   

Good job you're not near my house!!


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## ScoobyTT (Aug 24, 2009)

Gazzer said:


> watched this fecker overpower a jasper yesterday and wrap it up for supper.


Huzzah! Down with jaspers! :lol:


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## YoungOldUn (Apr 12, 2011)

Whats a 'Jasper' , is it some kind of southern bug that would not survive the colder climes?


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## nate (May 9, 2011)

a wasp isnt it??

i havent heard that name for ages....

i think its a wasp or something like it any ways..


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## SteviedTT (Apr 10, 2009)

Looks like a wasp that's been wrapped up. If you enlarge the pic, you can just see the little feckers yellow body with black stripes. Had to do that as I didn't know what a jasper was either


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

tried its best to sting the spider, but god that fat bastard was quick to wrap it up and subdue in seconds. it took me maybe 15 seconds to grab the ipad and get ready to snap it and bingo wrapped and fucked before i aimed the thing to snap lol.


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## NaughTTy (Jul 9, 2003)

*Shudder*

BBC News - Venomous spider's nest found in Buckinghamshire garden


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

NaughTTy said:


> *Shudder*
> 
> BBC News - Venomous spider's nest found in Buckinghamshire garden


can only blame global warming and peeps like Dani for making them feel at home in gardens :lol: :lol:


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## A3DFU (May 7, 2002)

Gazzer said:


> NaughTTy said:
> 
> 
> > *Shudder*
> ...


Thank you Gaz :-* :-*

I'll try and bring one for you tomorrow :twisted:


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## A3DFU (May 7, 2002)

Gazzer said:


> NaughTTy said:
> 
> 
> > *Shudder*
> ...


Thank you Gaz :-* :-*

I'll try and bring one for you tomorrow :twisted:
Aha, I'll bring_ something_ for tomorrow - must remember to pack it!!


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