# Flies



## ScoobyTT (Aug 24, 2009)

Why is it they can find the bit of window that's open to get in, but even if you leave the whole bloody thing open to give them a 50/50 chance to piss off, they can't find their way back out again. Stupid bastards :roll:


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## T3RBO (Dec 9, 2003)

:lol: :lol: :lol:


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## sporTTyminx (Mar 5, 2009)

I don't even give them the chance to escape through the window. In fact i would close it and spray the fly spray and watch them choke to death.

Much more satisfying!


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## ScoobyTT (Aug 24, 2009)

Fly spray? I can't be bothered with listening to the buggers frantically breakdancing their way into the afterlife for 5 minutes on a windowsill.

You can use chopsticks, like this guy:










...but a true master cuts them out of the sky with the shockwave of a flicked tea towel


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## Hev (Feb 26, 2005)

I often use a 12 inch ruler.....leaves a very satisfying goo afterwards :twisted:

Hev x


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## Wallsendmag (Feb 12, 2004)

Hev said:


> I often use a 12 inch ruler.....leaves a very satisfying goo afterwards :twisted:
> 
> Hev x


Do you want to read that again


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## Charlie (Dec 15, 2006)

wallsendmag said:


> Hev said:
> 
> 
> > I often use a 12 inch ruler.....leaves a very satisfying goo afterwards :twisted:
> ...


 :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:



ScoobyTT said:


> Why is it they can find the bit of window that's open to get in, but even if you leave the whole bloody thing open to give them a 50/50 chance to piss off, they can't find their way back out again. Stupid bastards :roll:


You are sooo right, tossers 

Charlie


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## Snake TT (Jul 13, 2007)

ScoobyTT your posts always manage to crease me, fair play to you! :lol:

I hate it when the brainless flying assholes bounce off your TV screen. Youve managed to ignore the fact that it has been navigating the room in this strange square shaped flying motion for the last hour (usually flying irritatingly close to any food or drink you may be holding), and when they realise that they are not enraging you enough, they go for the 'crash full speed into the tv screen and spang off sideways' routine. Thats when I get pissed off :evil:

Possibly worse though are the tiny little flies, the really tiny ones that hover in front of your face while watching telly, and if they get near to your ear they make that high pitched whining noise. Heaven forbid you are enjoying a glass of wine at the time. In they go! Fuck Im so angry right now.


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## ScoobyTT (Aug 24, 2009)

Snake TT said:


> when they realise that they are not enraging you enough, they go for the 'crash full speed into the tv screen and spang off sideways' routine.


 :lol: :lol: :lol: And not just once. <BASH> That didn't work. <BASH> That didn't work. It's a SOLID OBJECT you disease-laden buzzy wankaaaaaaaa! How can these things possibly have survived evolution for so long when their eyes obviously don't work? :roll:



Snake TT said:


> Possibly worse though are the tiny little flies, the really tiny ones that hover in front of your face while watching telly, and if they get near to your ear they make that high pitched whining noise. Heaven forbid you are enjoying a glass of wine at the time. In they go! Fuck Im so angry right now.


The little silent ones that think they're Tron? Bast'ds! They find the centre of the room so you can always see them from the corner of your eye (when they're not sampling your evening's vintage!) usually around the light bulb. Just what is it about light bulbs that they love so much, even in day time when the light isn't even fucking on? Do they have a genetic appreciation for the work of Thomas Edison or are they just stupid assholes?

Rhetorical question. :lol:


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## BLinky (Jul 3, 2009)

i hate flies in wine.


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## smurfeTTe (Jul 3, 2010)

I have one of those tiny little flies in my car just now. Little fecker always dances around in front of my line of sight most of the way home. I put the driver's window down - it goes to the opposite side of the car, bouncing itself off the windscreen! Then it appears to go into hiding once I've stopped and I can't find the little bugger to get it out!! How long can it live inside a car??


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## Charlie (Dec 15, 2006)

Sounds like some of you guys need to have a wash :roll: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Charlie


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## roddy (Dec 25, 2008)

Charlie said:


> Sounds like some of you guys need to have a wash :roll: :lol: :lol: :lol:
> 
> Charlie


good one chas !!!!,,, seriously tho,, leave the windows down and turn the heater / blower on max,,, sometimes works for the " MIDGIES " !!!!!


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## ScoobyTT (Aug 24, 2009)

Yay it's spring! Yay it's warm!

Hooray for open windows. Hooray you only have to wait a minute before some stupid assclown insect finds its way in. Why fly into somewhere that looks dark from outside to then spend all your time flying towards the light of the windows? FFS!

And! Since you never have to wait long for one to come in, and since you ever ever get one or maybe two at a time there seems to be a maximum fly density to a house with open windows. So how does a fly outside know that there's a "vacancy"? :roll:


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## Dash (Oct 5, 2008)

The rest of the afternoon they insist to do that circling thing in the middle of the room blocking your view of the TV. If not the cat is chasing them around, also blocking the view of the TV.


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## Spandex (Feb 20, 2009)

Dash said:


> The rest of the afternoon they insist to do that circling thing in the middle of the room blocking your view of the TV. If not the cat is chasing them around, also blocking the view of the TV.


If they're big enough to block your view, those are probably pigeons, not flies.


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## Dash (Oct 5, 2008)

I was never great at identifying wildlife... [smiley=dunce2.gif]


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## Spandex (Feb 20, 2009)

I have created this infographic to help you:










Please feel free to print it out so you have it to hand when watching TV.


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## ScoobyTT (Aug 24, 2009)

That's useful. Two of mankind's greatest enemies in one handy cut'n'keep image. Can we have one with wasps too please?


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## SalsredTT (Jan 8, 2011)

Spandex said:


> I have created this infographic to help you:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


*falls off chair laughing*

Brilliant Span - just brilliant!!


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## Spandex (Feb 20, 2009)

ScoobyTT said:


> That's useful. Two of mankind's greatest enemies in one handy cut'n'keep image. Can we have one with wasps too please?


Infographic now updated with wasp.


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

Spandex said:


> ScoobyTT said:
> 
> 
> > That's useful. Two of mankind's greatest enemies in one handy cut'n'keep image. Can we have one with wasps too please?
> ...


ok fly and pigeon in scale...........wasp on japs mutant fall out spandy lol..........wd on pic tho m8 (picks sal up)


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## ScoobyTT (Aug 24, 2009)

That's spot on. About the size of the bugger that dive-bombed me at work the other day too.


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

ScoobyTT said:


> That's spot on. About the size of the bugger that dive-bombed me at work the other day too.


the fly?


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## ScoobyTT (Aug 24, 2009)

:roll: The jasper!!


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

ScoobyTT said:


> :roll: The jasper!!


oh lol..........thems bad but hornets can be a lot worse scooby. as a kid we had three in the lounge once 1976 heat wave they had nests all over our area.


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