# Audi, a message to you



## Gone (May 5, 2009)

In the event that Audi customer service trawl the forum, one of you might see this before you check your emails tomorrow. Here's hoping.

"Greetings Audi

"I have a very strongly worded complaint to make to Audi UK regarding the new Audi Centre in Brentford, West London which I have the pleasure of driving past every night on my way home from work. Unfortunately for me, by the time I get home these days your customer service telephone line is closed. You can be very grateful for this, let me tell you, because the only language I am capable of using when I eventually do get home consists of uncomplimentary four letter words that would embarrass that back-combed dandy Russell Brand.

"Thanks to the mindless idiots who pass for human beings these days, my journey home from work now takes me an extra 20 minutes - at least - because said morons slow down to a snail's pace to gawp at the displays in the windows of your new shop. On the way back into London after a weekend away, on a Sunday night for example, the journey can be extended by as much as an hour. Don't believe me? Try it.

"Not only does this cause extreme delays for everybody, even those of us who are able to operate a motor vehicle without behaving like a complete dick, it is extremely dangerous because I have noticed that most people using the elevated section of the M4 drive far too close to each other and usually come within inches of causing a major pile-up right outside your building.

"Now, I know that Audi cannot be held responsible for the driving habits of the general public but it is very hard not to realise that Audi is responsible for this daily mayhem and has a duty to take action. In fact, I would say it is blindingly obvious.
Furthermore, the current farcical traffic carnage caused by your new shop is hardly in keeping with a company whose motto can be literally interpreted as "progress through technology", and I believe the current situation is highly damaging to your brand.

"I think that the least Audi can do is turn the lights off in the upper floors or better still, install large blackout style curtains. The card board advertising hoardings that were in place during the construction would also be adequate. How Audi UK got planning permission for such a ridiculous construction is beyond me, although having said that I suspect that in the midst of the fallout over MPs expenses perhaps it was merely a matter of oiling the wheels of bureaucracy?

"Anyway I digress. My point is your new shop creates unnecessary delays to thousands of commuters and visitors to our great capital, creates dangerous traffic situations on an already congested stretch of motorway, damages your brand and puts people off buying an Audi, and makes me extremely angry. If this is still going on in a few weeks' time I'll be forced to hire a flatbed truck and load it up with paintballers, who will proceed to paint your shop windows in the colours of the rainbow in a hail of vegetable-based gunfire. No doubt if I time it right we will be stationary in traffic for long enough to give the upper floors a good pasting.

"Yours Sincerely

.....

Had quite a bad day today and this just put the icing on the cake.

[smiley=bomb.gif] [smiley=bomb.gif] [smiley=bomb.gif] [smiley=bomb.gif] [smiley=bomb.gif] [smiley=bomb.gif] [smiley=bomb.gif] [smiley=bomb.gif] [smiley=bomb.gif] [smiley=bomb.gif]


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## graTT58 (Jan 28, 2009)

Excellent...that made me laugh out loud.

Cant wait to see the response from Audi UK......


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## Gone (May 5, 2009)

I'm glad it cheered somebody up. I'm looking forward to their response as well.
Got dinner on and a beer now so a bit happier!


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## Spandex (Feb 20, 2009)

I've been past it and can't say I noticed any difference in traffic...

They could have built it a bit closer though... I had to slow *right* down to get a decent look at the rally-prepared Ur Quattro.


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## Gone (May 5, 2009)

Perhaps you could ask your mrs to hold the binoculars for you next time?


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## Spandex (Feb 20, 2009)

She was too busy leaning over holding the wheel to do that...


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## Gone (May 5, 2009)

If she could poke an umbrella or something on the pedals you might be able to stand up and lean out of the sunroof. :wink:


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## YELLOW_TT (Feb 25, 2004)

And here was me expecting to see a post about dash pods :lol:


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## Mark Davies (Apr 10, 2007)

Anyone got a picture of it for those of us sensible enough not to live anywhere near the M4?


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## ResB (Apr 17, 2005)

Might just be me and it may be written a little tongue in cheek, but did you really take the time to actually send that? What on earth do you think it will achieve? I can see the Audi bods putting it up on their monthly news board and taking the p*ss.... and quite rightly so..perhaps I'm just missing the point. If I am, sorry for being a bit thick.


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## jammyd (Oct 11, 2008)




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## Guest (Nov 6, 2009)

i don't get it.


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## Gone (May 5, 2009)

ResB said:


> Might just be me and it may be written a little tongue in cheek, but did you really take the time to actually send that? What on earth do you think it will achieve? I can see the Audi bods putting it up on their monthly news board and taking the p*ss.... and quite rightly so..perhaps I'm just missing the point. If I am, sorry for being a bit thick.


I am sure they will do all of that. I would if I were in their shoes. But I can't be the only person to be pissed off about it and hopefully a few complaints will have some sort of result although that said I'm not sure exactly what they could do. Perhaps move the sexy displays to the ground floor and just put the service dept and family saloons on show at eye level with the M4.

as for taking the time, 5 minutes while the tea brews is nothing. Remember I'd already lost half an hour sitting in traffic.


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## Spandex (Feb 20, 2009)

badyaker said:


> Perhaps move the sexy displays to the ground floor and just put the service dept and family saloons on show at eye level with the M4.


Garrrgh.. Then the A4 will turn into a car park instead.


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## graTT58 (Jan 28, 2009)

Who is paying for the gin palace?....yes, us, the customer.


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## Gone (May 5, 2009)

Spandex said:


> badyaker said:
> 
> 
> > Perhaps move the sexy displays to the ground floor and just put the service dept and family saloons on show at eye level with the M4.
> ...


 

Mind you there are so many sets of lights down there it would probably be OK!


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## Nilesong (Jan 19, 2009)

I drive past it every day too. I haven't really noticed a build up in traffic that much - I'm too busy trying to find my sunglasses to reduce the glare from all the lights that they insist on leaving on all night! :x

If you get the chance though, go up to the 6th (or 7th) floor - some very nice old models there.


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## Nilesong (Jan 19, 2009)

Well, I drove by (again) this morning, and they seem to have put up ventian blinds on a few of the windows now. 8)

Maybe they read this thread? You never know.....


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## TTS09 (May 26, 2009)

What a pointless complaint you have. It's too bright [smiley=bigcry.gif], it's too big [smiley=bigcry.gif], it makes me get home late [smiley=bigcry.gif]. The only thing this post has achieved is encouraging us all to make a detour next time we are anywhere near the offending building so that we can go and see it for ourselves. We will then tell our friends who may also go and have a look and they will probably tell their friends too. In the long run Audi will probably sell a few more cars, so well done, your pointless complaining has just deepened the pockets of Ingolstadt's finest. If i was in charge of the building I'd make it even brighter, just in case the less observant people out there have not noticed it when crawling by.


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## Gone (May 5, 2009)

Nilesong said:


> Well, I drove by (again) this morning, and they seem to have put up ventian blinds on a few of the windows now. 8)
> 
> Maybe they read this thread? You never know.....


Hooray! Quite a result for a tongue in cheek complaint, or perhaps a coincidence.

[smiley=cheers.gif]


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