# Quickies



## Hannibal (Dec 1, 2003)

Just remember I'm only the messanger, you have been warned....

Whatâ€™s the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
45Lb

Whatâ€™s the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
45mins.

What is it when a man talks nasty to a woman?
Sexual Harassment.

What is it when a woman talks nasty to a man?
$3.99 a minute.

How can you tell if your wife is dead?
The sex is the same, but the dishes pile up.

How can you tell if your husband is dead?
The sex is the same, but you get the remote.

What's a blonde's favourite nursery rhyme?
Humpme Dumpme.

What's it called when a woman is paralysed from the waist down?
Marriage.

How many men does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they just sit there in the dark and complain.

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.

What is a man's view of safe sex?
A padded headboard.

How do men sort their laundry?
"Filthy" and "Filthy but Wearable"

Whatâ€™s the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.

What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.

A brunette, a blonde and a redhead are all in third grade. Who has the biggest breasts?
The blonde, because she's 18.

Do you know why they call it the Wonder Bra?
When you take it off, you wonder where the breast went.

Do you know the punishment for bigamy?
Two mothers-in-law.


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## SPECSMAN (Oct 11, 2016)

Several good ones... worth the bump into 2017


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## Hoggy (May 8, 2002)

:lol: :lol: :lol: 
Hoggy.


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## j8keith (Jun 26, 2009)

:lol: :lol:


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