# Ethel the speed demon



## Guy (May 13, 2002)

Ethel was a bit of a speed demon in her wheelchair and loved to charge around the nursing home, taking corners on one wheel, and getting up maximum speed on the long corridors.

Because the poor woman was one sandwich short of a picnic, the other residents tolerated her, and some of the men actually joined in.

One day, Ethel was speeding up one corridor when a door opened and Goofy Gordon stepped out with his arm outstretched.

"STOP!", he shouted in a firm voice. Have you got a license for that thing?"

Ethel fished around in her handbag and pulled out a Kit Kat wrapper, and held it up to him. "OK", he said, and away Ethel sped down the hall.

As she took the corner near the TV lounge on one wheel, Weird Wally popped out in front of her and shouted, "STOP! Have you got proof of insurance?"

Ethel dug into her handbag, pulled out a drink coaster, and held it up to him. Wally nodded and said, "Carry on, ma'am."

As Ethel neared the final corridor before the front door, Crazy Craig stepped out in front of her, stark naked, with a very sizable erection.

"Oh, Crap", cried Ethel, "not the Breathalyzer again."


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## Hev (Feb 26, 2005)

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Hev x


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## YELLOW_TT (Feb 25, 2004)

:lol: :lol:


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## TSCN (May 23, 2006)

:lol: :lol: :lol:


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## trev (Aug 5, 2005)

:lol: :lol: :lol:


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## The Silver Surfer (May 14, 2002)

:lol:


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## slg (May 6, 2005)

:lol: :lol:


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## Guest (Oct 17, 2006)

:roll: elderly oral sex = not good :lol:


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## TSCN (May 23, 2006)

AndyRoo_TT said:


> :roll: elderly oral sex = not good :lol:


From experience?


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## Guest (Oct 17, 2006)

TSCN said:


> AndyRoo_TT said:
> 
> 
> > :roll: elderly oral sex = not good :lol:
> ...


 [smiley=stop.gif] [smiley=skull.gif]


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## slg (May 6, 2005)

AndyRoo_TT said:


> TSCN said:
> 
> 
> > AndyRoo_TT said:
> ...












[smiley=sick2.gif]


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## TSCN (May 23, 2006)

slg said:


> AndyRoo_TT said:
> 
> 
> > TSCN said:
> ...


That not do it for you then slg?


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## Guest (Oct 17, 2006)

TSCN said:


> slg said:
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> 
> > AndyRoo_TT said:
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that _is_ taken from his mobile whilst 'granny huntin' :lol: :lol:


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## slg (May 6, 2005)

Not for me.

What do you do, close your eyes and imagine someone else? :wink:


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## TSCN (May 23, 2006)

slg said:


> Not for me.
> 
> What do you do, close your eyes and imagine someone else? :wink:


You have to rip your eyes out. Just closing them doesn't work, there's always a chance one could open slightly. Also, you have to be good at ignoring the smell of moth balls, some can find it quite a turn on after a while, but at first, not.


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## slg (May 6, 2005)

TSCN said:


> slg said:
> 
> 
> > Not for me.
> ...


At least it was moth balls & not stale urine!


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## TSCN (May 23, 2006)

slg said:


> TSCN said:
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> > slg said:
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Stale Urine? Sorry, didn't realised you were going for the more "specialist" oap market. PM me, details on demand :roll:


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