# ODE TAE A FART (Scottish Verse)



## Jac-in-a-Box (Nov 9, 2002)

Oh what a sleekit horrible beastie
Lurks in yer belly after the feastie
Just as ye sit doon amongst yer kin
There sterts to stir an enormous wind

The neeps an' tatties an' mushy peas
Stert working 'like a gentle breeze'
But soon the puddin 'wi the sauncie face
Will have you blawin all ower the place

Nae matter whit the hell ye dae
A'body's gonna have tae pay
Even if ye try tae stifle 
It's like a bullet oot a rifle

Hawd yer bum tight tae the chair
Tae try and stop the leekin' air
Shift yersel frae cheek tae cheek
Prae tae God it doesnae reek

But aw yer efforts go assunder
Oot it comes like a clap o'thunder
Ricochets aroon the room
Michty me a sonic boom

God almighty it fairly reeks
Hope I huvnae shit ma breeks
Tae the bog I better scurry
Aw whit the hell, it's no ma worry

A'body roon aboot me chokin'
Wan or two nearly bokin'
I'll feel better for a while
Cannae help but raise a smile

Wis him! I shout with accusing glower
Alas too late, he's just keeled ower
Ye dirty bugger they shout an' stare
A dinnae feel welcome ony mair

Where e're ye go let yer wind gang free
Sounds like just the job for me
Whit a fuss at Rabbie's party
Ower the sake o' one wee farty.


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## Silversea (Jun 18, 2002)

LOL [smiley=oops.gif] [smiley=toilet.gif]


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## saint (Dec 6, 2002)

[smiley=rolleyes5.gif]


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## trev (Aug 5, 2005)

[smiley=book2.gif]


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## ObiWan (Sep 25, 2005)

[smiley=toilet.gif]


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## missTTopless (Jun 26, 2005)

My sides are sore from laughing at this one....bet the non-scots are a bit confused tho :lol: :lol: :lol:


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## HOMMER (Nov 12, 2005)

Nice one Dave would like to here the recital in person with that broad Dundee accent of yours :wink:


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## YELLOW_TT (Feb 25, 2004)

:lol: Just sounds like a lot of hot air to me :wink:


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## DGW131 (Feb 20, 2005)

Nice one Dave........but I am :? :wink:


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