# Flouncing Out.....



## jampott (Sep 6, 2003)

.... sorry, I've kept out of the Vlastan vs the World and TTotal vs Vek arguments up until now - I know I'm not usually shy with my opinion, but when things get really personal, there is little point wading in unless its either constructive or funny.......

But just arrived back from my lunch to find a personal IM from TTotal:



> heers guys and good luck with it all here !
> 
> Just too much.
> 
> ...


Now having stayed out of this to day, I can see no reason why he should want to get me involved other than to make some childish statement to as many people as possible........ *sigh*

if people want to leave, I'm unhappy for them. But people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones, and whilst he doesn't like Kev's sniping and Vlastan's blatant sexual humour, he IS just as guilty of posting [email protected] as anyone else, and quite frankly if he wants to stand up and chastise others and adopt a holier than thou attitude, he should really consider his own content first and foremost. And that goes for anyone on here, including myself.....

And as a final act, he goes onto the "For Sale" board and puts his TTOC badges up for sale!!!!

God, is this guy an attention freak or what?

C'mon John, calm down. Remember the words of Love_iTT who left for similar reasons, and plucked up the courage some time later to return, basically because he got more out of the forum than the hassle it caused in the end........

I hope you haven't gone - I hope you choose to lurk for a bit and come back because you have obviously many friends and supporters here. But childish tantrums and silly IMs to people who aren't involved in(and don't care about) your ongoing battles are NOT going to help your cause......

Stay or go, just don't make a fucking scene......


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## NickP (May 6, 2002)




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## nutts (May 8, 2002)

For Fuck Sake John!

What are you doing, exactly? :-/ Calm down NOW, before you actually regret your actions! If you REALLY wanted to go... then why put a countdown on it? So either go! or stop it now and re-join the fold.

Most people go through the "I'm leaving the forum" at some stage! I know, 'cos I think I've said it twice now and both times, I realised I was being a tw*t and came to my senses pretty quickly.

Do the same mate.........


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## coupe-sport (May 7, 2002)

:


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## foz01 (May 13, 2002)




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## PaulS (Jun 15, 2002)

I can't believe this Â :

 ;D  ;D  ;D  ;D



> Just cheerio really !
> 
> Last post on Friday
> 
> ...


don't tell me he's deleted his profuile as well Â : :-/

John, what are you doing m8 Â :

:-/


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## W7 PMC (May 6, 2002)

He never sent me an IM 

Glad he's fucked off now as he obviously doesn't like me  ;D Saying that, there's probably plenty of others who don't like me  ;D


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## jonno (May 7, 2002)

NickP
great pic!


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## Widget (May 7, 2002)

NickP ;D

TTotal? Who?


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## Love_iTT (Aug 18, 2002)

Jesus, whats happening on here.

I've just got myself up to speed on the Vlastan/TTotal threads and I can't believe I'm on simple car forum.

As my name has been mentioned quite a few times (for obvious reasons) I thought I would put my two pennyworth in.

In Vlastans case I am glad that something has at long last been done. I realy thought that he had learnt how to control his postings in the days and weeks after the first time there was a problem - well for me anyway. His postings were much more relevant to the existing thread he was replying to and in a lot of cases, constructive, but just recently he has slowly got back into his old ways. I will repeat what I have said before and that is I have nothing against Vlastan as a person, I can't have because I've never met him, all I can do is form an opinion from what and how he posts. The main problem for me was he would post his inaine thoughts in the main forum area where I shouldn't have had any fear of someone looking over my shoulder and being shocked or insulted by the inuendos (sp?). I said at the time that I would not have had a problem if they had appeared in the Flame Room or even the Off Topic section where I would not have gone if I thought that there was someone around who may have been offended (mainly wife and work).

I now know that I was totaly wrong in the way I dealt with the matter, instead of reporting how I felt to either Vlastan or a moderator (at that time Jay) I acted all girlie and threw in the towel and deleted my profile - BAD MOVE. I must admit that I felt great for about a couple of hours after that thinking that I had showed them but once it had sunk in what I had done and talking to other members obout it (why didn't I do that before?) I soon regretted it. I plcked up the courage to come back and I'm so glad I did. Its a fantastic forum.

This brings me onto TTotals problems, it seems as though he has left the forum but as far as I can tell has not deleted his profile so maybe he will be back. I for one certainly hope so. All I will say is that if you are reading this John, chill out m8, if you post as much as you do then by law of averages you're going to get some, how shall I say, 'unfavourable' replies back. I am probably quite wrong in what I'm about say but it just seems to me that maybe your trying a bit too hard. I think its sad that someone like you who can contribute so much to the forum feels he has to leave. This does not help you (even though you might think so) and certainly does not help this forum.

Graham


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## Dr_Parmar (May 10, 2002)

"Lord, what fools these mortals be!" :-[


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## Wak (May 6, 2002)

> .... sorry, I've kept out of the Vlastan vs the World and TTotal vs Vek arguments up until now - I know I'm not usually shy with my opinion, but when things get really personal, there is little point wading in unless its either constructive or funny.......
> 
> But just arrived back from my lunch to find a personal IM from TTotal:
> 
> ...


I read this and thought fine!, however it has been bugging me......IMO He sent IM's to people he thought were forum friends...

Your taking that message and flaming it and him ....
is 
A. pretty cheap and such a slap in the face, that I'd take this as an example of of how forum impressions can be wrong and how easily people you thought you could trust can turn. How insensitive this post was.!

B. If it was a "childish statement" then you have achieved its result by posting about it...why didnt you just leave it....stupidly had to make critical comment, make a big deal out of it then say go or stay.

That will help a lot.

But do you care? no, I see from many its just a forum and they dont care to meet dont care about adult topics on it

Seems to most of you its ok to be happy friends online but so easy to become critical and dare I say it"back stabbing" so quickly....

How can you all sit and criticise TTotals postings so much...mostly just banter.....mostly in response to others just has happily continuing the banter...nobody gives a f.fook about the respondants... 
At least I could skirt over his posts if I needed too AN D let family and kids read them if I wanted to. (Big difference to the one track of Lord V's)

And then to top off the critiscms of "Utter Shite" lets start posting a "back to the Top" thread....HOW the Fook can that not be UTTERUTTETTEREE Shite!

I am in despair about how easily people have turned, how 2 faced they can be, how low the quality of contribution can be and how quick the same people will attack.

I am just as dissappointed about trusted moderators being allowed to make attacking posts, completely undermining their position and killing off all credibility of them being able to make mature responsible decisions.

Yep its just a forum..Being passionate about it, its future, being helpful to others, seems to be a high risk occupation..its just a forum and perhaps the being passionate about it is something we should all forget to be........been a real eye opener!

All IM's, emails and visits to the website are still welcome! :-/


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## garyc (May 7, 2002)

> I read this and thought fine!, however it has been bugging me......IMO He sent IM's to people he thought were forum friends...
> 
> Your taking that message and flaming it and him ....
> is
> ...


Hear, hear Wak.

Posting an IM, which is a personal and private message, on the forum in order to publicly scoff and ridicule someone who has so obviously taken personal affront, is a low down and completely thoughtless act that can only be intended upset at a personal level.

As for moderators getting involved in obvious PERSONAL PUBLIC attacks on other members......

Very disappointing. :-/


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## thorney (May 15, 2002)

It never ceases to amaze me just how seriously people take this forum :

The way I figure it is that you act in a forum in exactly the same way as you act in real life, thats why I like going to meets - to meet the people I have 'met' via the forum. However some people seem to use it as some kind of alter ego?

I agree with Wak in that an IM is personal and shouldn't be subject to flaming, however as far as I can tell Stu kept well out of it all so I shared his surprise as I also got the same IM.

TTotal went to lots of meets driving all round the country so you can't doubt his willingness to meet people but I can't help thinking his own personal situation (he was quite open about it here) has led him to use the forum and people within as an emotional crutch. Nothing wrong with that, I've met some nice peeps here whom I consider friends regardless of what car they drive but maybe this has led to him taking the content from some individuals to close to heart?


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## garyc (May 7, 2002)

> It never ceases to amaze me just how seriously people take this forum :
> 
> The way I figure it is that you act in a forum in exactly the same way as you act in real life


I like drinking strong lager and fighting in real life. Or is that alter-life?


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## r1 (Oct 31, 2002)

> TTotal went to lots of meets driving all round the country so you can't doubt his willingness to meet people but I can't help thinking his own personal situation (he was quite open about it here) has led him to use the forum and people within as an emotional crutch.


Agreed.


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## Wak (May 6, 2002)

> It never ceases to amaze me just how seriously people take this forum :
> 
> (deleted)....
> this has led to him taking the content from some individuals to close to heart?


Good point, but content is content....content of the car forum degenrated to adult shite and then now personal abuse......through objection to the adult shite, a valid point IMO, turned in to character abuse for a forum character whos only crime seemed to be number of banter posts who no one seemed to mind at the time. Hard not to take the Content too personal, dont you think?

I certainly never felt like "cringing" over Johns posts compared to some of V's.

V's thread became a sounding board or catalyst for an irrelevant attack on someone I thought was at best enthusiastic/passionate to both to the club , forum and meets, at worst talked too much (if you had a problem with that)!

:-/


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## jampott (Sep 6, 2003)

Guys,

The whole point I was making - this wasn't a "personal" plea or comment from TTotal to me, but a sentiment echoed to a reasonable number of other forum users, albeit via IM. The fact that others have received the same or similar seems to back this up. It wasn't a "private" comment inasmuch as its nothing said "in confidence", there was nothing confidential or particularly "private" about the IM and the fact that its obvious he was sending to others as well was my basis for "sharing" it......

I hadn't even been involved with ANY of the recent arguments until then......

....but prior to that, I've been one of the biggest advocates for "free speech" on the forum, so friendly or not (TTotal and I), quite how he thought I'd support his case to have Vlastan censored, i've really no idea........

As for making a big deal out of it..... well all I'm doing is holding a magnifying glass up to TTotal's own actions. If they aren't actions to be comfortable with or happy about, then fine. i see from the "For Sale" room that he thinks I'm a tosser, and related to Powell. However, I don't need his personal "acceptance" and shan't be sending lots of IMs to say "do you still like me" to everyone I can think of.......

As I'm not a moderator, I'm not going to take the rest of Wak's comments personally. But would point out that I've actually said similar about Powell myself at times (assuming this is directed at him?) because, without the burden of old-age wisdom, I do think Kev has the ability to be a tad hypocritical at times......



> Posting an IM, which is a personal and private message, on the forum in order to publicly scoff and ridicule someone who has so obviously taken personal affront, is a low down and completely thoughtless act that can only be intended upset at a personal level.


Gary, on some level there is some truth in this. Had he (or anyone else) opened up and made some private and personal revelation to me via IM that was obviously not for general consumption, then it would have remained so. I'm as good as the next man for not spreading idle gossip. But the very fact was, as I hope I've made clear, I wasn't part of the arguments, made no pretence at siding with either TTotal or anyone else, and as such felt i should NOT have been dragged into this by him on a personal level. I also felt that, as it was highly likely that there would be other recipients of similar IMs, that what he was doing was not "private" - and the fact that it was just a continuation of the forum arguments also meant it was not "personal" either.

Highlighting this was not an attempt to ridicule or scoff. But if people (and some do) find his actions bordering on ridiculous, that is their opinion. In this instance, I share it.

Despite my usual outspoken views, I have (mostly) kept on the right side of the tracks and have not caused too much offence. From a couple of comments on this thread, (from people I generally respect the views of) it appears I've overstepped the mark in this instance, unless this post has underpinned my own personal justification. If this is the case, I (unlike Nick the Greek) do actually apologise. But would still point out that, had TTotal not decided to send a bunch of pointless and attention seeking IMs, then there would have been no basis for this thread.......


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## r1 (Oct 31, 2002)

Again agreed. However, I don't think theres any real excuse to post an IM on the forum...


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## thorney (May 15, 2002)

> character abuse for a forum character whos only crime seemed to be number of banter posts who no one seemed to mind at the time.


Actually I seem to remember that quite a lot of people complained that whilst his posts weren't offensive they were utter crap.

However I agree that personal abuse is unfair but this is a forum and that can happen. Gary's pont is that if you post so often and those posts in general are so useless then at some point in time someone is going to have a pop. I agree it went a bit personal and agree vek is not exactly a shining light on how a moderator should act, but TTotal has overreacted and 'flouncing out' as he seems to have done simply demonstrates that.

The view on Tim posting his IM rests upon whether it was a personal and confidential message or an unsolicted plea for support from an overt independant. Like I said, I got the same IM, I wouldn't post it but I shared Tims view that I was surprised to get it. I've met John, agree he's a nice guy but suspect that his personal situation has clouded his judgement on how to react to the content on this board.


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## PaulS (Jun 15, 2002)

I totally agree with you jampot

Hands up - I was one of the people who 'posted' a so-called private e-mail from John :-[

I laughed at it because I thought this was just another one of Johns game playing/joke responses....I had spoked to John by phone a few hours only and nothing seemed wrong to me, infact he seemed to be enjoying it all very much and was pleased with the outcome. I'm sure though that deep inside, he was worried over what he had started.

It seems some people do take this forum too seriously and let it take over their life.

As for V, I'm am also glad something was done at last. On a personal level (I have met him) I do feel sorry for him as many people have said, he is perfectly ok in person. Also, in the heat of the night I made a stupid comment about V's wife and I regret this very much now.

Regarding personal forum IM's, I don't speak to people very often using IM, I do nearly everything 'out in the open' on the forum.

I am really hoping this forum can get back to normal soon.

Paul.


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## Major Audi Parts Guru (May 7, 2002)

> I am really hoping this forum can get back to normal soon.


Would be nice :


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## jampott (Sep 6, 2003)

Paul,

Cheers for your support, and let me reiterate:



> The view on Tim posting his IM rests upon whether it was a personal and confidential message or an unsolicted plea for support from an overt independant.


I would not have posted it had there been any chance it was the former. I'm not the kind of person to take a person's confidence and pass it around for disection. I was under the full impression (and rightly so) that he said the same or similar to several other forum members (god knows how many) and was also aware his distribution was NOT reserved for his close friends or even people who had become "involved" in the recent arguments. I mean, anyone who starts a personal and confidential message with a plural ("Guys") is obviously not sending that message just to you, are they?!

Well in a roundabout way, I guess he's managed to gain some more confidence and popularity from his IM Campagin, because my posting certainly seems to have polarised the debate (mostly against me!) so at least some good has come of it.....

.... but Wak (et al) I certainly hope you don't teach your kids that its OK to run up to ever cute looking doggy they see in the street and extend their hand out to it. Worth checking to see if its friendly first, else fingers can get bitten.

.... and also somewhat strange that TTotal is prepared to put a "leaving date" (Friday?) into the equation. My guess is there must be another forum going live somewhere on that date or something. But I stand by my original statements - you either stay or you go. You don't announce you WILL be leaving and wait for all the applause. A lot of people that used to post here no longer do so - but they are best remembered for their content, not the manner of their disappearance.............


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## Mayur (Jan 29, 2004)

> I read this and thought fine!, however it has been bugging me......IMO He sent IM's to people he thought were forum friends...
> 
> ... and the rest...


Thank you Wak, well said.
I don't want to make the same points that you have stated so well again, but I do feel that John has been treated unfairly. IM's are personal... they should be treated in that context at all times. I can understand why he would feel as though he's been stabbed in the back. Especially when in the first place all he was trying to do was to clean up V's act.

For a moderator, KMPowells actions have been a disgrace. All he did was add fuel to the fire rather than toning things down. It's a real shame when a moderator behaves in such a way... some example.


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