# Cashpoint ditherers



## Steve_Mc (May 6, 2002)

Hmmm what's my PIN again.....oh yeah got it, I forgot I'd written it down......now then what next....oh, I've forgotten what I wanted....no hang on, I want cash, yeah, cash......but do I want a receipt....oh god...I'm not sure......let's risk a "no".....phew that was tough.....now how much do I want.....oh no there's sooo many choices....I only wanted Â£20 but now I see that I could actually have a different amount I'm not so confident.....shall I take Â£30....or even Â£50?....imagine what I could do with Â£50!.....no let's play safe and just take Â£20......what's that constant "beep beep beep".....shut up!....oh I need to take my card out now do I...god this is hard.....

FFS if you can't make simple financial decisions when visiting the ATM quite frankly you don't deserve banking facilities, or even the responsibility of having money. All such people should have bank accounts frozen with the proceeds redistributed to those of us with clarity of thought who know exactly what they'd spend such windfalls on, namely expensive claret and cheap women.

I thank you.


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## r1 (Oct 31, 2002)

Steve_Mc said:


> Hmmm what's my PIN again.....oh yeah got it, I forgot I'd written it down......now then what next....oh, I've forgotten what I wanted....no hang on, I want cash, yeah, cash......but do I want a receipt....oh god...I'm not sure......let's risk a "no".....phew that was tough.....now how much do I want.....oh no there's sooo many choices....I only wanted Â£20 but now I see that I could actually have a different amount I'm not so confident.....shall I take Â£30....or even Â£50?....imagine what I could do with Â£50!.....no let's play safe and just take Â£20......what's that constant "beep beep beep".....shut up!....oh I need to take my card out now do I...god this is hard.....
> 
> FFS if you can't make simple financial decisions when visiting the ATM quite frankly you don't deserve banking facilities, or even the responsibility of having money. All such people should have bank accounts frozen with the proceeds redistributed to those of us with clarity of thought who know exactly what they'd spend such windfalls on, namely expensive claret and cheap women.
> 
> I thank you.


Well maybe the next time I see your Nan withdrawing money in such a way (after they've shut her local branch), I'll boot her legs away and step over her to get to it.


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## Lowlife (Feb 13, 2004)

His nan probably isn't as bad as the wankers he's talking about.

The banks are partly to blame - giving these economic incompetents the opportunity to request a balance and therefore feel in control of their finances for two or three nanoseconds.


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## Hannibal (Dec 1, 2003)

got stuck behind 3 of them today.....you forgot the waiting for 5 mins in queue and then when it's your turn trying to remember what you did with your bank card part of the equation.....

Made more annoying by the machine being out of reddies when i finally got there.....

Fekkers!

H


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## vagman (Sep 6, 2002)

And it's gonna get a whole lot worse.

The Govt, are doing away with benefit books and are trying to get the beneficiaries to open bank accounts so that they can access their cash via the ATM network. :!:


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## vlastan (May 6, 2002)

There are so many cashpoints around the town centres these days, that if one is busy you simply go to another one. The best bit is that taking money from other bank's cashpoint is free these days.


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## L8_0RGY (Sep 12, 2003)

r1 said:


> Well maybe the next time I see your Nan withdrawing money in such a way (after they've shut her local branch), I'll boot her legs away and step over her to get to it.


Would pick a smiley face to show how funny i found this but can't find suitable one.

There are always bloody ditherers outside my local Lloyds TSB - luckily there's a cashpoint inside not many know about :lol:


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## jonhaff (May 20, 2002)

and why are they all damn low these days.
I know some should be accessible to those in wheelchairs but not every bloody machine.... they are now disciminating against the tall and givin us back ache!


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## Lowlife (Feb 13, 2004)

And most are South-facing so you can't bloody read 'em 'cos of sun glare.

Wankers! The lot of 'em.


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## raven (May 7, 2002)

Steve_Mc said:


> Hmmm what's my PIN again.....oh yeah got it, I forgot I'd written it down......now then what next....oh, I've forgotten what I wanted....no hang on, I want cash, yeah, cash......but do I want a receipt....oh god...I'm not sure......let's risk a "no".....phew that was tough.....now how much do I want.....oh no there's sooo many choices....I only wanted Â£20 but now I see that I could actually have a different amount I'm not so confident.....shall I take Â£30....or even Â£50?....imagine what I could do with Â£50!.....no let's play safe and just take Â£20......what's that constant "beep beep beep".....shut up!....oh I need to take my card out now do I...god this is hard.....
> 
> FFS if you can't make simple financial decisions when visiting the ATM quite frankly you don't deserve banking facilities, or even the responsibility of having money. All such people should have bank accounts frozen with the proceeds redistributed to those of us with clarity of thought who know exactly what they'd spend such windfalls on, namely expensive claret and cheap women.
> 
> I thank you.


LOL - too right - they are a pain in the arse. Often when there are two machines I start on the other one and after 6 bleeps (including my pin) I have my card back and my money and I'm off, whilst they are still standing there. Tossers.

What amazes me - and I keep mental statistics on this - is when I approach an empty cash machine, suddenly the world and his wife approach it too, and before you know it, there's a queue of about five. :x


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## Wallsendmag (Feb 12, 2004)

Its the same at work ,I work in the ticket office at Newcastle station so people come up and ask for a ticket ,ok so far so good ,sometimes for advance tickets its quite busy so they have to wait for 5-10 mins to get served . So having had this time to compose their thoughts thay get to the counter and think what do I want , where is my railcard when am I going ,am I coming back ,did I bring any money with me ? Then they go on to complain about having to wait in the first place :!:


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## sattan (Sep 10, 2002)

What annoys me is people that get to the end of the dithering and decide to get some money out, then find out they don't have enough money, so it all starts from the beginning again with card number 2..

rinse and repeat, rinse and repeat...

Grrrrrrr


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## L8_0RGY (Sep 12, 2003)

I went to one is Sloane Square the other day that must have been 4 feet or less high.

I'm 6ft 3in so i bend a lot and the amount of questions the bloody thing asked i could have had backache at the end!


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## QuackingPlums (Mar 10, 2004)

Some of the ATM programming is somewhat dubious too, the following has happened to me on more than one occasion:

Insert card

Wait

"Sorry, due to a technical fault, we cannot issue receipts (ie, I've run out of paper) - do you want to continue?"

Press "Yes"

Two options appear:
1) Cash
2) Cash with receipt

WHAT?! IF CASH WAS THE ONLY AVAILABLE OPTION, DESPITE THE INCORRECT SECOND OPTION, THEN WHY DIDN'T IT JUST GO STRAIGHT TO THE "HOW MUCH DO YOU WISH TO WITHDRAW" SCREEN?!?!

oh hang on, it's because if you press "2", it gives the opportunity for the machine to spit your card out with the message "SORRY, DUE TO A TECHNICA FAULT...etc etc" so that you try again, probably NOT reading the notice for a second time, whilst the guy behind you is spitting feathers and seriously considering taking out your legs...


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## Lowlife (Feb 13, 2004)

I used one the other day where the arrows didn't line up with the buttons so when I clicked what appeared to be "Yes" it took it as a "No".

It's not bloody rocket science is it - a few simple screens and a bit of comms software in the background? Bloody hell!


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## jonhaff (May 20, 2002)

haha.. ive been a ATM programmer and tester and there is a lot more to them behind the screens...
Banks have to be 150% sure they work and will do it correctly.
The test cycle on them is huge , for even the smallest change they go through very rigourous testing for every scenario you can think of, including all the defrauding methods used by some people, so they have to make sure they count money twice and if you dont take it make sure it knows whats been taken back etc...

Although the flaw you mentined does seem to be a bit odd , maybe they actually missed it !


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## SteveS (Oct 20, 2003)

Crumbs, and I always thought it was a dwarf with a big bag o' money.......


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## raven (May 7, 2002)

The arrows often only line up with the buttons when you look down on them, I've noticed. I suppose it's meant to make things easier, but if you bend down slightly, you can't tell which button does what.


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## L8_0RGY (Sep 12, 2003)

The arrows never seem to line up for me.

Was at Barclays machine yesterday and had to answer about 6 questions before i could money :evil:


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## David_A (May 7, 2002)

Not me twat that I am - put card in, put PIN in, selected Â£50 took card out, walked into bank to pay in a cheque

then a tap on the shoulder from the nice lady who was walking past and saw me leave my cash in the machine.


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## Neil (May 7, 2002)

L8_0RGY said:


> The arrows never seem to line up for me.


LOL, I hate that. I think cash machines were made for midgets, as you have to bend your knees so that you can look at the screen straight on for the arrows to line up :? (OK, I know it's so shorter people, wheelchair users etc can use them, etc, but it's the flame room and I'm allowed to flame :evil: )

What also annoys me is that one machine I use has no option of "cash without receipt". It makes me take a receipt every time - not only does it come out last and force me to wait longer (OK, only about 2 seconds longer :roll: ) but all I do is chuck it straight in the bin :?


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## paulatt (Oct 28, 2002)

L8_0RGY said:


> The arrows never seem to line up for me.
> 
> Was at Barclays machine yesterday and had to answer about 6 questions before i could money :evil:


Try using ATM machines in Wales and then you have yet another question 
'Do you want your instructions in Welsh or English?'

The arrows never line up for me either and I am a vertically challenged 5ft 1in female!!


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## jimfew (Mar 5, 2004)

Ahhh,........ but what you don't know is why the machines behave the way they do!

Its all a sinister (left handed) government plot.

First, they test your intelligence, the arrows are not meant to line up so that you have to figure it out. Clever.
Second, they test your back, by making them short, all of us have to bend down!
Third, they test your patience, they ask many questions. I once got asked if I wanted fries with my money (until I realised I'd gone to the wrong machine)
Fourth, they test your gullibility, if waiting for the money doesn't get you, then eating your card will. You know it makes sense!
Finally, the man in the machine (see you didn't know there was actual people inside the machines did you?) prints your money and sends it out of the slot after carfully counting it and hammering the total on his tablet.

Now, lets be nice in future to the machine, there here to help you!!!

Jim (now of ward 5, warlingham general asylum).


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## Steve_Mc (May 6, 2002)

"It's just like filling the photocopier....only the paper's more expensive"

Tosser


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