# Seperation / Divorce



## Wak (May 6, 2002)

Not often I ask for help but I'm out of my depth on this and while it is a car forum this is an appeal to the people behind them.

Anyone out there been through separation / divorce who's had their hearts torn out by a spouse using the children, stopping access to them physically and psychologically.

This article is quite close to home in terms of similarities and is upsetting...
http://www.couplescompany.com/Advice/Fa ... t-you.html

If you have been through something like this and have any words of advise via PM I would like to hear from you.


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## Kell (May 28, 2002)

I haven't Wak, but if it's you you're talking about then I'm very sorry to hear the news.


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## Hilly10 (Feb 4, 2004)

It must be terrible when one side uses the kids against the other. Would not like to go there any time soon. Sorry Wak no advice from me I am afraid I am out of me depth on this one . Good luck


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## igotone (Mar 10, 2010)

She can't stop you seeing the kids - any court would grant you reasonable access to them wherever the cookie crumbles eventually regarding permanent custody.

Of course you're out of your depth, everyone is when they're dealing with something this personal and traumatic. Don't waste any time - go and see a solicitor - one who specialise in the field - you need to get this sorted out properly from the word go or your spouse left to her own devices and having control of the kids, can make your life a misery as the whim takes her.

Good luck and keep your chin up.


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## BrianR (Oct 12, 2011)

Hi chap, I have been throught the sepration and divorce but luckily my kids were grown up. Incredibly important that if you are not getting your fair share if the kids that you go and get yourself some advice. Kids are often used as a weapon and the real losers in that are the kids themselves. There will be forums out there that cover this; try fathers fo justice (these are the guys who demonstrate all of the time). Sepration and divorce are hard enough without having your kids taken away too. Good luck with it mate


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

Wak if this is you related bud, then from what I saw there was love and respect from your daughter....didn't know if you had others tbh bud. Kids are hard m8 and can put up with loads and will always love Dad no matter what bud.

You need to seek legals to cover all bases and ensure that your end is covered and of course the kids are cared for........hope it isn't you though mate


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## paul4281 (Jan 25, 2010)

If it can't be worked out between the two parties then it will have to go to court via legal advice.


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## rustyintegrale (Oct 1, 2006)

PMd you mate.


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## mrs coope (Mar 24, 2007)

Hey Wak, PM'd you Huni
X


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## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

Hi WAK, pm sent via facebook for you  xx


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## mighTy Tee (Jul 10, 2002)

I cant offer any advice, I had heard on the grapevine you were "single".

I really feel for you mate, I know you adore the girls. The only thing is they are both getting old enough to form their own opinions and hopefully see the rights and wrongs of the situation.

I hope everything works out amicably for you.


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## NaughTTy (Jul 9, 2003)

Like others I had heard a little about this on the grapevine, but so sorry to hear you're going through this Wak. I'm afraid I'm another one who can't offer advice as never been through it myself, but hang in there chap, and try to make sure your kids know that you love them above all else. I've seen too many separations where the kids are used as a weapon and they end up stuck in the middle of it all :?


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## c15 ttt (Dec 3, 2010)

sad to hear things havnt picked up for you mate.your kids are chance to have been poisoned and brainwashed.they are at that age and a lot of daughters tend to be drawn to their mother and expect the dad to be strong enough to get on with it.they will be feeling gutted also and could feel the need to blame one of you,possibly you.its a shit situation but they will find their way back to you.stand your ground and be strong.try to be positive around them so they dont feel the need to take sides.really hope you get things sorted quickly cos life is too short.good luck wak.


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## A3DFU (May 7, 2002)

You have PM Wak x


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## W7 PMC (May 6, 2002)

Hi Wak, sorry to hear your news.

Without wanting to throw fuel onto a fire that's no doubt already burning, make sure you get the very best legal advice you can [smiley=bigcry.gif]

Courts almost always side with the Mother & unless you can prove her to be unfit then she'll always have the upper hand so as well as the above, try, try & try again to keep things as amicable as possible & NEVER retaliate as hard as that is.

The standard for courts is normally access every other weekend & anything more is by mutual agreement (hence stay amicable). If she decides at the last minute to take them away for a weekend you're meant to have them or change access in any way then it's you that has to go to court & you that pays the bill so sometimes for the greater good you'll have to bite your tongue.

You do still have a fair stack of parental rights so Mother can't take the kids abroad without your consent & matters such as schooling & details related to their upbringing are deemed as mutual responsibility.

One last thing, many courts (not all) don't really take the kids into account or certainly not treated as a priority (very wrong), so most Judges will expect the financial aspects including child support, home & contents as well as any settlements agreed & signed up to before they'll grant the actual divorce. It's a stupid scenario as this is the one area that causes the biggest fights but is the centre of the initial divorce proceedings & comes before the family matters.

Good luck Wak.


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## John-H (Jul 13, 2005)

You have PM and much sympathy Wak.


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## Kprincess (Aug 19, 2012)

WT


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## roddy (Dec 25, 2008)

sorry to read about this Wak,,, unfortunatly i can offer no advice, only to say that having met your self and family once or twice and going by all that i have read / seen of you on this forum you are a decent chap and i am sure your daughters are aware of this and will always be around you


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