# forum surgery open for business!



## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

uncle gazz is the forum listener & shoulder to cry on, especially sexual probs  
sTTink is the ttf Doctor who will diagnose your medical problems & respond accordingly.
rich aka rusty is the newly graduated forum consultant, any probs the doc cant sort rich will jump in.

so.....bring it on guys n gals on all related problems


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## T3RBO (Dec 9, 2003)

Thinking about quantum gravity keeps me awake most nights...

Can quantum mechanics and general relativity be realized as a fully consistent theory (perhaps as a quantum field theory)?

Is spacetime fundamentally continuous or discrete?

Would a consistent theory involve a force mediated by a hypothetical graviton, or be a product of a discrete structure of spacetime itself (as in loop quantum gravity)?

Are there deviations from the predictions of general relativity at very small or very large scales or in other extreme circumstances that flow from a quantum gravity theory?

Look forward to your answers so I can finally have peaceful nights


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## Guest (Aug 12, 2011)

T3RBO said:


> Thinking about quantum gravity keeps me awake most nights...
> 
> Can quantum mechanics and general relativity be realized as a fully consistent theory (perhaps as a quantum field theory)?
> 
> ...


+1

:lol:


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## SteviedTT (Apr 10, 2009)

T3RBO said:


> Thinking about quantum gravity keeps me awake most nights...
> 
> Can quantum mechanics and general relativity be realized as a fully consistent theory (perhaps as a quantum field theory)?
> 
> ...


Sod the easy stuff, ask them a hard one.
Can you explain to me what women want?


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## T3RBO (Dec 9, 2003)

SteviedTT said:


> Can you explain to me what women want?


That's easy... your fucking balls as earrings :lol:


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## rustyintegrale (Oct 1, 2006)

T3RBO said:


> Thinking about quantum gravity keeps me awake most nights...
> 
> Can quantum mechanics and general relativity be realized as a fully consistent theory (perhaps as a quantum field theory)?
> 
> ...


Maybe. :roll:

Keep taking the pills and reduce bedtime use of the right hand. Your electricity bills will go down if nothing else will... :lol:


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## Ikon66 (Sep 12, 2003)

yeah, have you got anything that can sort out 3 irritating twunts? :wink:


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

T3RBO said:


> Thinking about quantum gravity keeps me awake most nights...
> 
> Can quantum mechanics and general relativity be realized as a fully consistent theory (perhaps as a quantum field theory)?
> 
> ...


your a geek & a good wank while sat in your local ****** should help with the problem. beatentofukandkipalot is the techy name.


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

T3RBO said:


> SteviedTT said:
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> > Can you explain to me what women want?
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are you a doctor? no so fuk off cunt


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

Ikon66 said:


> yeah, have you got anything that can sort out 3 irritating twunts? :wink:


this is not a medical problem i am afraid its a physiological symptom of being a useless cunt.......can i suggest you spandex and conlechi speak to consultant Rusty for a further look into this problem...............NEXT (bunch of boring cunts they were)


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## bluush (Feb 24, 2010)

SteviedTT said:


> Sod the easy stuff, ask them a hard one.
> Can you explain to me what women want?


cant remember if its chocolate and shoes or shoes and chocolate.


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## rustyintegrale (Oct 1, 2006)

Ikon66 said:


> yeah, have you got anything that can sort out 3 irritating twunts? :wink:


Speaking personally for one minute, a sizeable lottery win would see my immediate departure from here and a fresh appearance on a Lambo forum... :wink:

I'm sure my surgery partners could be accommodated in similar fashion. :lol:


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## STTink (Jun 28, 2011)

T3RBO said:


> Thinking about quantum gravity keeps me awake most nights...
> 
> Can quantum mechanics and general relativity be realized as a fully consistent theory (perhaps as a quantum field theory)?
> 
> ...


Hope this helps.


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## STTink (Jun 28, 2011)

Ikon66 said:


> yeah, have you got anything that can sort out 3 irritating twunts? :wink:


I wouldn't ever think about calling moderators irritating twunts.
I have more respect than that. :wink:


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## STTink (Jun 28, 2011)

p.s.

Don't buy this book, it reads like theoretical physics for dummies, although Hawking openly admits it was an attempt to simplify his previous work a Brief History of Time.


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## rustyintegrale (Oct 1, 2006)

STTink said:


> Ikon66 said:
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> > yeah, have you got anything that can sort out 3 irritating twunts? :wink:
> ...


 :lol: :lol: name and shame... :wink:


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## STTink (Jun 28, 2011)

rustyintegrale said:


> STTink said:
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I've not been here long enough to make a judgement like that. However, there's a few on other forums i write/blog on that could do with their fucking fingers smashing so they couldn't use a keyboard again unless the keys could be pressed using their elbows.


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## STTink (Jun 28, 2011)

STTink said:


> I've not been here long enough to make a judgement like that. However, there's a few on other forums i write/blog on that could do with their fucking fingers smashing so they couldn't use a keyboard again unless the keys could be pressed using their elbows.


And they probably feel the same about me. :lol:


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## rustyintegrale (Oct 1, 2006)

STTink said:


> I wouldn't ever think about calling moderators irritating twunts.
> I have more respect than that. :wink:





rustyintegrale said:


> :lol: :lol: name and shame... :wink:





STTink said:


> I've not been here long enough to make a judgement like that. However, there's a few on other forums i write/blog on that could do with their fucking fingers smashing so they couldn't use a keyboard again unless the keys could be pressed using their elbows.


Nah, most on here are pretty good now...


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

enter the surgery and post.........anything can happen


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## TTCool (Feb 7, 2005)

STTink said:


> Ikon66 said:
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> > yeah, have you got anything that can sort out 3 irritating twunts? :wink:
> ...


 :lol: :wink:


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

mr cool has been on the laughing gas again i see


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## TTCool (Feb 7, 2005)

gazzer1964 said:


> mr cool has been on the laughing gas again i see


Karma :wink:

Joe


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## roddy (Dec 25, 2008)

rustyintegrale said:


> Ikon66 said:
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> > yeah, have you got anything that can sort out 3 irritating twunts? :wink:
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Rich,, if you are going to be the Guru, then behave like a Guru,,,,, a Lambo is not a Guru's car,, it is a bit " chav ", ( no intentent on " Demonising of the working class " meant ! )....more hoora henry's ,,


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## rustyintegrale (Oct 1, 2006)

roddy said:


> rustyintegrale said:
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Nothing wrong with a Lambo mate. It's an R8 with attitude and importantly not a Ferrari...

Plus I know it's really 'hardcore' to go rear wheel drive, but I like the security of four wheel drive... :lol:

Oh yeah, and really, REALLY chavvy... :lol:


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## roddy (Dec 25, 2008)

it just looks so pretentous !!! i dont go with stereotypes, but i would rather be a hairdresser than a hooraa henry !!!!


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## rustyintegrale (Oct 1, 2006)

roddy said:


> it just looks so pretentous !!! i dont go with stereotypes, but i would rather be a hairdresser than a hooraa henry !!!!


Pretending to be what Roddy? And what stereotype? What is a typical Lamborghini driver profile?


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

rustyintegrale said:


> roddy said:
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> > it just looks so pretentous !!! i dont go with stereotypes, but i would rather be a hairdresser than a hooraa henry !!!!
> ...


he cant help it rich, anyone with a name that rhymes with big ears best m8 cant be taken serious. give him a prescription and fu him off lol


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## roddy (Dec 25, 2008)

hold on mate,, i have been welding pipes together since 7 oclock this morning and am just nipping down to the shop to get a few beers for later, ( we dont have riots up here so i will have to pay for them .. sigh ) i will try to answere when i get back,,,Rod :wink: 8)


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## rustyintegrale (Oct 1, 2006)

gazzer1964 said:


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Actually mate I've met Roddy a couple of times and he's a decent bloke. He doesn't need pills, a wicked woman will sort him out... :lol:


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

ah ok boss.........one dirty filthy wench ordered for roddy. ps can i have a go after?


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## rustyintegrale (Oct 1, 2006)

gazzer1964 said:


> ah ok boss.........one dirty filthy wench ordered for roddy. ps can i have a go after?


I don't know Roddy THAT well mate. At your risk, but don't go nicking any 'special' clinic appointments... :lol:


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## roddy (Dec 25, 2008)

gazzer1964 said:


> ah ok boss.........one dirty filthy wench ordered for roddy. ps can i have a go after?


you be alright,, no special clinic required,,, but she may find you a bit boring !!!


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## rustyintegrale (Oct 1, 2006)

roddy said:


> gazzer1964 said:
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> > ah ok boss.........one dirty filthy wench ordered for roddy. ps can i have a go after?
> ...


That's what he's hoping... :lol:


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

rustyintegrale said:


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could do with a bit of spare tbh, but half a house and half of two companies is a very expensive bit of spare if caught lol. ok back to surgery business. NEXT patient please!


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## rustyintegrale (Oct 1, 2006)

gazzer1964 said:


> could do with a bit of spare tbh, but half a house and half of two companies is a very expensive bit of spare if caught lol. ok back to surgery business. NEXT patient please!


"a bit of spare"...

Fuck me that takes me back to school... :lol: :lol: :lol:


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

pm from a forumer pmsl..........

hi Gazzer1964 is the surgery a real one as i have recently had a problem with bad breath and it it annoying my gf badly thanks jeff ps if this is a jokey topic please keep it quiet as it is personal.

dumb git, no it isnt real its three tossers having fun ya dork..........onto ya prob, you have bad breath due to one of two probs.........bad pussy and eating it or you have to stop kissing cows arses to stop the chapped lips. (wouldnt lick em after would you) ewww

Nextttttttttttttttt fuk hope it gets better than that lol


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## rustyintegrale (Oct 1, 2006)

gazzer1964 said:


> pm from a forumer pmsl..........
> 
> hi Gazzer1964 is the surgery a real one as i have recently had a problem with bad breath and it it annoying my gf badly thanks jeff ps if this is a jokey topic please keep it quiet as it is personal.
> 
> ...


It's not 'Embarrassing Bodies' is it? Although two out of three of us have them... :wink:


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## roddy (Dec 25, 2008)

rustyintegrale said:


> roddy said:
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> > it just looks so pretentous !!! i dont go with stereotypes, but i would rather be a hairdresser than a hooraa henry !!!!
> ...


 refering back to before the thread was led down a not too uncommon purile road,,,,,,,
you must obviously , since we have met on a few ocasions,, know that this profile does not relate to your good self in any way,, but the word i meant to use was " ostentatous ",,, for me a small black TT is my ideal,, but of course that is just me, and when you hopefully get back to having the tax man paying for the petrol and own a brand new Lambo,  , you will take me for a run in it,, i know it is a beautiful car,,,, maybe i should care less about what other people think !!! :? :?


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

rustyintegrale said:


> gazzer1964 said:
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> > pm from a forumer pmsl..........
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i'm an ex essex boy so high six m8 :lol: :lol: :lol: all interbred in essex tbh just call em all mum as they just might be lol


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## rustyintegrale (Oct 1, 2006)

roddy said:


> rustyintegrale said:
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Roddy, there is fuck all hope in hell of me owning a Lambo unless I invent something or steal something. Since I'm not a thief I guess you can assume there's no hope at all! :lol:


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

as a consultant you are on £1 1 and 1p and hour...........how much more do ya want fssssss


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## rustyintegrale (Oct 1, 2006)

gazzer1964 said:


> as a consultant you are on £1 1 and 1p and hour...........how much more do ya want fssssss


Are you guys pissed like normal doctors?

I'll bail out until the morning. Gotta a fanny to attend to.

Nighty.... :wink:


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## roddy (Dec 25, 2008)

me to, had a few beers and a cuddle from a not so filthy bitch and a 6 oclock start tomorrow,, so foot and fist on,, enjoy


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

rustyintegrale said:


> gazzer1964 said:
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> > as a consultant you are on £1 1 and 1p and hour...........how much more do ya want fssssss
> ...


room for an addon but bigger in size ok?


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## rustyintegrale (Oct 1, 2006)

gazzer1964 said:


> rustyintegrale said:
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 :lol: :lol: If you can hold a frying pan up with it.

Two eggs over easy, four rashers of smoked back bacon, button mushrooms, two Speldhurst sausages, grilled tomatoes and some toast and HP sauce will work...


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

speldhurst wtf are those bud


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## SteviedTT (Apr 10, 2009)

gazzer1964 said:


> speldhurst wtf are those bud


Sausages :roll:


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

SteviedTT said:


> gazzer1964 said:
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> > speldhurst wtf are those bud
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ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh enter the irish recipe sausage jockey hiya m8


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## SteviedTT (Apr 10, 2009)

Alright gaz, ya fuckin eedjit :lol: What the hell are you up to now :roll:


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## STTink (Jun 28, 2011)

SteviedTT said:


> Alright gaz, ya fuckin eedjit :lol: What the hell are you up to now :roll:


How you getting on with that Yamaha kit?


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## SteviedTT (Apr 10, 2009)

STTink said:


> SteviedTT said:
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> 
> > Alright gaz, ya fuckin eedjit :lol: What the hell are you up to now :roll:
> ...


Brilliant mate, fantastic bit of kit. Thanks for the recommendation :wink:


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

SteviedTT said:


> Alright gaz, ya fuckin eedjit :lol: What the hell are you up to now :roll:


were doing a doctors surgery stevie.........seen it on the one show so decided to do it here. this bunch of tossers however wont play the game boring basts. hows that lovely lady of yours m8?


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## SteviedTT (Apr 10, 2009)

She's dead on mate, a bit broken hearted at the moment, as we had to have our wee dog put down this week, and she needs alot of comforting at the mo. But she'll get over it.


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

ouch bud, make her a nice breakie and pamper her for the day. women aint like us they take pets to heart and think there family fssss. my pat actually talks to the cats as if they are human.........wtf its a cat you silly moo it eats sleeps and shits end off


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## SteviedTT (Apr 10, 2009)

gazzer1964 said:


> ouch bud, make her a nice breakie and pamper her for the day. women aint like us they take pets to heart and think there family fssss. my pat actually talks to the cats as if they are human.........wtf its a cat you silly moo it eats sleeps and shits end off


It's not just the women mate  and my cat is nearly human :lol:


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

SteviedTT said:


> gazzer1964 said:
> 
> 
> > ouch bud, make her a nice breakie and pamper her for the day. women aint like us they take pets to heart and think there family fssss. my pat actually talks to the cats as if they are human.........wtf its a cat you silly moo it eats sleeps and shits end off
> ...


oh fuk me grow a pair ya wuss lol


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## rustyintegrale (Oct 1, 2006)

Doctor in the house. Show me your swellings. :lol:


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

rustyintegrale said:


> Doctor in the house. Show me your swellings. :lol:


see if oceans was about he wud have a play......rest of this lot must be gay or scared to have a joke and get abused. wish spandy would post.........please god pleaseeeeeeeeeeee


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## A3DFU (May 7, 2002)

Dr Dr, I'm 102 years old, can't sit still, run around all day apart when I try to read and understand the book about the Holographic Universe. Any help?


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## rustyintegrale (Oct 1, 2006)

A3DFU said:


> Dr Dr, I'm 102 years old, can't sit still, run around all day apart when I try to read and understand the book about the Holographic Universe. Any help?


Nah.

You're a healthy woman. Enjoy your sexuality.


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## A3DFU (May 7, 2002)

How will that help with my book??


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## rustyintegrale (Oct 1, 2006)

A3DFU said:


> How will that help with my book??


I could take some photos 

What book? I could help with that too...


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## STTink (Jun 28, 2011)

If you can tell me what i'm thinking, i'd say keep reading the book. If you can't, i'd say read the Long, dark teatime of the soul by Douglas Adams where some of the notions of a holographic universe are put into a really funny book. No, i'm not confusing holistic with holographic and you'll enjoy the fact that Thor is in it and even gods have issues with airports.


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## rustyintegrale (Oct 1, 2006)

STTink said:


> If you can tell me what i'm thinking, i'd say keep reading the book. If you can't, i'd say read the Long, dark teatime of the soul by Douglas Adams where some of the notions of a holographic universe are put into a really funny book. No, i'm not confusing holistic with holographic and you'll enjoy the fact that Thor is in it and even gods have issues with airports.


Hippy.


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## STTink (Jun 28, 2011)

rustyintegrale said:


> STTink said:
> 
> 
> > If you can tell me what i'm thinking, i'd say keep reading the book. If you can't, i'd say read the Long, dark teatime of the soul by Douglas Adams where some of the notions of a holographic universe are put into a really funny book. No, i'm not confusing holistic with holographic and you'll enjoy the fact that Thor is in it and even gods have issues with airports.
> ...


Bollocks, i'm showing off the fact i've read two books. :lol:


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## rustyintegrale (Oct 1, 2006)

STTink said:


> rustyintegrale said:
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What are books?


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## STTink (Jun 28, 2011)

Bits of pulped tree full of words.

Actually, i bought the other half a Kindle last week for her birthday, and when i've finished reading the complete Sherlock Holmes she can have it.


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## rustyintegrale (Oct 1, 2006)

STTink said:


> Bits of pulped tree full of words.
> 
> Actually, i bought the other half a Kindle last week for her birthday, and when i've finished reading the complete Sherlock Holmes she can have it.


Kindle? You mean kindling? Close to the original topic then? Pulp it. Best thing for it. Get an iPad.


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## A3DFU (May 7, 2002)

STTink said:


> Actually, i bought the other half a Kindle last week for her birthday,


Kindle: is that a small Austrian child? You bought your wife a child  :lol:


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## rustyintegrale (Oct 1, 2006)

A3DFU said:


> STTink said:
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> > Actually, i bought the other half a Kindle last week for her birthday,
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It's chocolate with stuff inside innit?


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## A3DFU (May 7, 2002)

rustyintegrale said:


> A3DFU said:
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A stuffed child - it's getting worse


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## STTink (Jun 28, 2011)

I gave up my iPad to the kids and my iPhone 4.
Now got a pristine Nokia 8910i, makes calls, sends texts. Twice as scared of dropping it. :lol: 
Got a few ipods, so that's the music covered.

Got rid of my DTP kit upstairs and downsized that to a little 14" HP Envy i5 which i grabbed off Gumtree as near new for £350.
So, this is MY only portal to the internet now.
It's got Word, Gimp, iTunes and eBay.

Now, giving up your iPhone is a lot harder than some might think.
Any of you check your emails before you get out of bed? Yeah? 
Every time you get an email and you get that iPhone ping to let you know it's there and it's spam, or some other shite, but you took time to check it right? Angry birds will now have to sort their shit out on their own i'm afraid.
I've closed down my Facebook account in favour of actually phoning friends to see how they are, (They're usually on Facebook) or even going to visit them when i'm well enough.

I've come to realise what a monumental waste of time some of this stuff is, and the only reason i spend time on the forums is because i'm too ill to go out. But the upshot of using the forums is it keeps my brain ticking over, i'm afraid Angry Birds doesn't cut the Marmite on that front.

Do i feel better for it, not sure yet, but i have noticed i'm getting a lot of emails asking me why i havent answered my emails within a few minutes of getting them.


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## A3DFU (May 7, 2002)

STTink said:


> I've closed down my Facebook account in favour of actually phoning friends to see how they are


Snap! And I got rid of my telly last year 8)


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## rustyintegrale (Oct 1, 2006)

The only reason I spend so much time on the internet is I can't afford to do normal shit like get drunk with best buddies or go out for meals with best buddy couples any more.

Life is shit. When will it end?


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## STTink (Jun 28, 2011)

A3DFU said:


> STTink said:
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> > I've closed down my Facebook account in favour of actually phoning friends to see how they are
> ...


Telly is staying, although we only watch one soap. We watch Eastenders at Christmas for a week.
It's great. We've done it for 3 years. You get the biggest storyline, you see people that you've not seen before and Phil Mitchell goes off on one.(Only time we gave in was when Peggy was meant to be killed off and she wasn't.)
Rest is docs, shocks , the news and movies.

I've just read a post by John H over in the off topic section and it has some interesting points about communication.
My theory is too much communication with people you don't know on a very very over-populated planet.
I'm dropping out of the instant throwaway communication thing. People treat other people on the internet like shit. But why?
Well, in most cases, we don't know each other and if we don't know each other, why give a fuck? 
People care on their own levels, and there's the problem with a lot of the internet.

When it's not trying to sell you something, when it's not trying to rip you off, when it's making you cry because you see others seem to be enjoying it but you don't know how to do it within the binary or makes you cold to the bone to have attrocities shown to you in real time from around the world that you can do nothing them it becomes apparent what the biggest downside of the internet is. It lacks empathy. Real empathy and i'm wondering if that's rubbing off on the kids.


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## STTink (Jun 28, 2011)

rustyintegrale said:


> The only reason I spend so much time on the internet is I can't afford to do normal shit like get drunk with best buddies or go out for meals with best buddy couples any more.
> 
> Life is shit. When will it end?


Happiness comes from within.

Yours Sincerely.

A. Hippy. Esq.


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## rustyintegrale (Oct 1, 2006)

STTink said:


> rustyintegrale said:
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> 
> > The only reason I spend so much time on the internet is I can't afford to do normal shit like get drunk with best buddies or go out for meals with best buddy couples any more.
> ...


Piss taking twat. :lol:


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## STTink (Jun 28, 2011)




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## rustyintegrale (Oct 1, 2006)

STTink said:


>


I changed my sig to reflect it too. Wankstain. :lol:


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## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

I had to work out who Gazzer was! :lol:


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## rustyintegrale (Oct 1, 2006)

Dotti said:


> I had to work out who Gazzer was! :lol:


You worked it out?!!!!!!  Please share!

Dotti, I love you.

xxxxxxx


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## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

rustyintegrale said:


> Dotti said:
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Well,, that certainly needs an agony aunt column for sure :lol: ... love you too Rusty [smiley=sweetheart.gif] xxxxxxxxxx


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## rustyintegrale (Oct 1, 2006)

Dotti said:


> rustyintegrale said:
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Snogs!!!!!


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## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

rustyintegrale said:


> You worked it out?!!!!!!  Please share!
> 
> Dotti, I love you.
> 
> xxxxxxx


Well,, that certainly needs an agony aunt column for sure :lol: ... love you too Rusty [smiley=sweetheart.gif] xxxxxxxxxx[/quote]
Snogs!!!!![/quote]

Are you cooking anything nice this evening Rusty?


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## rustyintegrale (Oct 1, 2006)

Dotti said:


> rustyintegrale said:
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> > You worked it out?!!!!!!  Please share!
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Snogs!!!!![/quote]

Are you cooking anything nice this evening Rusty? [/quote]

Yep. Chilli Tortellini with fresh crab.  All done and munched darlin'. God I miss you at meets! xxxx


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## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

rustyintegrale said:


> Well,, that certainly needs an agony aunt column for sure :lol: ... love you too Rusty [smiley=sweetheart.gif] xxxxxxxxxx


Snogs!!!!![/quote]

Are you cooking anything nice this evening Rusty? [/quote]

Yep. Chilli Tortellini with fresh crab.  All done and munched darlin'. God I miss you at meets! xxxx[/quote]

Where was my invite? :wink: . Oh!  thankyou!  What you after? :lol:


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## rustyintegrale (Oct 1, 2006)

Dotti said:


> rustyintegrale said:
> 
> 
> > Well,, that certainly needs an agony aunt column for sure :lol: ... love you too Rusty [smiley=sweetheart.gif] xxxxxxxxxx
> ...


Are you cooking anything nice this evening Rusty? [/quote]

Yep. Chilli Tortellini with fresh crab.  All done and munched darlin'. God I miss you at meets! xxxx[/quote]

Where was my invite? :wink: . Oh!  thankyou!  What you after? :lol: [/quote]

just a Dotti cuddle. xx


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## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

rustyintegrale said:


> just a Dotti cuddle. xx


Well, those are a regular occurance at most meets amongst forum members with a kissy kongie from yours truely :lol:  just don't call me 'nice bit of crumpet' !!! :lol:


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## rustyintegrale (Oct 1, 2006)

Dotti said:


> just don't call me 'nice bit of crumpet' !!! :lol:


Okay. I don't do bullshit so I'll say nothing! :lol: :lol: :lol:


----------



## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

rustyintegrale said:


> Dotti said:
> 
> 
> > just don't call me 'nice bit of crumpet' !!! :lol:
> ...


How's Mrs Rusty? 8)


----------



## rustyintegrale (Oct 1, 2006)

Dotti said:


> rustyintegrale said:
> 
> 
> > Dotti said:
> ...


En route...

London-Singapore-Sydney-Singapore-London

But she is fab! Love her to bits! xxx


----------



## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

rustyintegrale said:


> How's Mrs Rusty? 8)


En route...

London-Singapore-Sydney-Singapore-London

But she is fab! Love her to bits! xxx[/quote]

I was going to ask, as this is a forum surgery open for business, do you have any sexual problems Dear John? :lol:


----------



## rustyintegrale (Oct 1, 2006)

Dotti said:


> rustyintegrale said:
> 
> 
> > How's Mrs Rusty? 8)
> ...


I was going to ask, as this is a forum surgery open for business, do you have any sexual problems Dear John? :lol:[/quote]

Oh yeah, many... Not for the TT Forum though! x


----------



## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

Dotti said:


> I had to work out who Gazzer was! :lol:


fuk me even i dont know who i am at times dottmeister xxx hows u hun? any ailments or wanna have a lie down on my couch and discuss sexual probs or expectations??????


----------



## A3DFU (May 7, 2002)

STTink said:



> the internet lacks empathy. Real empathy and i'm wondering if that's rubbing off on the kids.


I'm with you on that one. And yes, it does rub off on the kids! As much as mum being on her mobile ignoring little Johnny when he needs some proper communication and answers to his hundreds of questions!
As for telly: I watch the news on line


----------



## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

A3DFU said:


> STTink said:
> 
> 
> > the internet lacks empathy. Real empathy and i'm wondering if that's rubbing off on the kids.
> ...


get a room you two :lol: :lol: this is a firking docs surgery for ailments not net crap lol


----------



## A3DFU (May 7, 2002)

Gazzer said:


> A3DFU said:
> 
> 
> > STTink said:
> ...


Thought the doc's surgery was also involving emotional issues? Aren't relations between mum and kids emotional issues? :-*


----------



## A3DFU (May 7, 2002)

Gazzer said:


> A3DFU said:
> 
> 
> > STTink said:
> ...


Thought the doc's surgery was also involving emotional issues? Aren't relations between mum and kids emotional issues? :-*


----------



## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

Dani now your on my turf hun...............pop over there ---------------------> and lay on the couch and i will be back in a few mins to see if i can help


----------



## STTink (Jun 28, 2011)

Yeah, Gazzer will show how comforting gay porn is.


----------



## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

STTink said:


> Yeah, Gazzer will show how comforting gay porn is.


you hate it that i like women dont u bud lol


----------



## STTink (Jun 28, 2011)

More worried about your American Beauty fantasies going on in Off Topic to be honest Mr. Robinson.


----------



## A3DFU (May 7, 2002)

Gazzer said:


> Dani now your on my turf hun...............pop over there ---------------------> and lay on the couch and i will be back in a few mins to see if i can help


Awwww. Feeling much better already :roll:


----------



## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

STTink said:


> More worried about your American Beauty fantasies going on in Off Topic to be honest Mr. Robinson.


ewww she is grossss..........change channel and subject lol


----------



## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

A3DFU said:


> Gazzer said:
> 
> 
> > Dani now your on my turf hun...............pop over there ---------------------> and lay on the couch and i will be back in a few mins to see if i can help
> ...


damm thats twice i have missed.............slippery woman is Dani


----------



## redsilverblue (Mar 9, 2011)

STTink said:


> More worried about your American Beauty fantasies going on in Off Topic to be honest Mr. Robinson.


oh and I just agreed to meet up with gazzer and his old boss for the convoy on the 8th, shall I be worried  :lol:


----------



## STTink (Jun 28, 2011)

redsilverblue said:


> STTink said:
> 
> 
> > More worried about your American Beauty fantasies going on in Off Topic to be honest Mr. Robinson.
> ...


Depends, you taking your daughter? :lol:


----------



## redsilverblue (Mar 9, 2011)

whaaat? that would be just wrong :lol: :lol:


----------



## STTink (Jun 28, 2011)

http://www.********.co.uk/forum/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=230632


----------



## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

STTink said:


> http://www.********.co.uk/forum/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=230632


thats unfair..........she was bloody milky in every way and i am way too old to even even even or even


----------



## A3DFU (May 7, 2002)

Gazzer said:


> A3DFU said:
> 
> 
> > Gazzer said:
> ...


Yeah: me treat peeps on a couche normally :lol: :lol: :lol:


----------



## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

couche? that a new frnch name Dani lol


----------



## A3DFU (May 7, 2002)

frnch is me speciallity :wink: :wink:


----------



## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

A3DFU said:


> frnch is me speciallity :wink: :wink:


damm typos caught again lol


----------



## A3DFU (May 7, 2002)

Can't escape Dr Dani :lol: :lol: :lol:


----------



## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

is the surgery open for business this evening?


----------



## STTink (Jun 28, 2011)

Whatya want?


----------



## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

Dotti said:


> is the surgery open for business this evening?


wanting an exam miss? what appears to be the prob................fuk off stinky this patient is mine!!!!!


----------



## STTink (Jun 28, 2011)

Cool, by the way, Gazzer pisses on his hands when he goes to the loo, it's his idea of multi-tasking. Fucking OmniGonk.


----------



## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

I might need two doctors for this Dr Gaz and Dr STTinky


----------



## STTink (Jun 28, 2011)

I dont share the surgery with that dirty fucker. Look under his nails. That brown stuff? Not dirt i assure you.


----------



## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

STTink said:


> I dont share the surgery with that dirty fucker. Look under his nails. That brown stuff? Not dirt i assure you.


ROFLMAO........you wanker........crying here


----------



## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

STTink said:


> I dont share the surgery with that dirty fucker. Look under his nails. That brown stuff? Not dirt i assure you.


You will have to sort me out then  :lol:


----------



## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

Dotti said:


> I might need two doctors for this Dr Gaz and Dr STTinky


ahh ok so you have the push me pull me syndrome miss Dotti...its a common ailment that can readily be sorted with cream and loads of it all over


----------



## STTink (Jun 28, 2011)

Dotti said:


> STTink said:
> 
> 
> > I dont share the surgery with that dirty fucker. Look under his nails. That brown stuff? Not dirt i assure you.
> ...


if its viral, you may have to wrap yourself in clingfilm and wear a gas mask. If you're looks are a bit challenged my i also recommend a bag for your head.

Thank you.


----------



## STTink (Jun 28, 2011)

Think i've found the vehicle for the surgery,.

http://www.gumtree.com/p/cars-vans-motorbikes/batvan-daihatsu-hijet/86421492#gallery-item-full-2


----------



## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

STTink said:


> Think i've found the vehicle for the surgery,.
> 
> http://www.gumtree.com/p/cars-vans-motorbikes/batvan-daihatsu-hijet/86421492#gallery-item-full-2


can we get a bed in the back with all lubes and handcuffs etc?


----------



## STTink (Jun 28, 2011)

You need to take a closer look. :lol:


----------



## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

STTink said:


> You need to take a closer look. :lol:


its a shit van some kid has kitted out for games and video..........max single blowup mattress and no room to swing a cat let alone a random fat bird having a forum hearty!!


----------



## STTink (Jun 28, 2011)

Perfect then. I'll send you the bill.


----------



## A3DFU (May 7, 2002)

make sure you inform the accountant :roll: :roll: :roll:


----------



## STTink (Jun 28, 2011)

Accountant? Shit, i've just got round to paying import tax for the first time for Chinese imports.lol


----------



## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

A3DFU said:


> make sure you inform the accountant :roll: :roll: :roll:


that is my daughter ...wink wink


----------



## STTink (Jun 28, 2011)

Gazzer said:


> A3DFU said:
> 
> 
> > make sure you inform the accountant :roll: :roll: :roll:
> ...


Is it? Can she explain import tax to me then?


----------



## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

no as i dont import export.............wanna buy some railings?


----------



## STTink (Jun 28, 2011)

Too busy trying to sell TRX copies.lol, took me 2 months to find some close to the originals.


----------



## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

Dr Dr how do I get round unblocking the hairs from my hubbys facial electric razor? It's totally jammed and full of pubes


----------



## SteviedTT (Apr 10, 2009)

Dotti said:


> Dr Dr how do I get round unblocking the hairs from my hubbys facial electric razor? It's totally jammed and full of pubes


If you must use your husbands electric razor to masturbate with, don't use the cutting head. Turn it around and use the handle, it vibrates just the same. Better still, get yourself a rampant rabbit and leave his razor alone.


----------



## redsilverblue (Mar 9, 2011)

SteviedTT said:


> Dotti said:
> 
> 
> > Dr Dr how do I get round unblocking the hairs from my hubbys facial electric razor? It's totally jammed and full of pubes
> ...


sounds like very experienced recommendation :lol:


----------



## SteviedTT (Apr 10, 2009)

redsilverblue said:


> SteviedTT said:
> 
> 
> > Dotti said:
> ...


Bought the missus one years ago. It's amazing how much peace and quiet a bloke can get from 8" of plastic and rubber and a few batteries :lol:


----------



## redsilverblue (Mar 9, 2011)

does the bzzzzz sound not annoy you then at all ? :lol:


----------



## SteviedTT (Apr 10, 2009)

redsilverblue said:


> does the bzzzzz sound not annoy you then at all ? :lol:


Not in the least. As long as she's happy and I'm being left alone, the jobs a goodun


----------



## davelincs (Jan 1, 2010)

Not since he bought some ear defenders


----------



## rustyintegrale (Oct 1, 2006)

All this talk about sex... :lol:

The following clinics now available...

Are you insured for sex?
Make sure you get the correct insurance, for the sex you are having.
Please find a list of companies below catering for most tastes.

Sex with your wife - Legal & General.
Telephone sex - Direct line.
Sex with your partner - Standard Life.
Sex with someone different - Go Compare.
Sex with a fat bird - More than.
Sex in the car - Sheila's Wheels.
Sex with a posh bird - Privileged.
Sex with a transvestite - Confused.com.

Hope this helps.


----------



## STTink (Jun 28, 2011)

You missed one out.

Anal Fisting. Adrian Flux.


----------



## rustyintegrale (Oct 1, 2006)

STTink said:


> You missed one out.
> 
> Anal Fisting. Adrian Flux.


 :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


----------



## davelincs (Jan 1, 2010)

rustyintegrale said:



> All this talk about sex... :lol:
> 
> The following clinics now available...
> 
> ...


Very good Rich :lol:


----------



## A3DFU (May 7, 2002)

davelincs said:


> rustyintegrale said:
> 
> 
> > All this talk about sex... :lol:
> ...


And very ancient too :?


----------



## rustyintegrale (Oct 1, 2006)

A3DFU said:


> davelincs said:
> 
> 
> > rustyintegrale said:
> ...


That's Classic Insurance with very limited mileage Dani... :wink:


----------



## A3DFU (May 7, 2002)

rustyintegrale said:


> A3DFU said:
> 
> 
> > davelincs said:
> ...


Limited mileage, that's me


----------



## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

SteviedTT said:


> Bought the missus one years ago. It's amazing how much peace and quiet a bloke can get from 8" of plastic and rubber and a few batteries :lol:


Why on earth would you want peace and quiet and not want to join in with her with the fun?  :wink:


----------



## SteviedTT (Apr 10, 2009)

I do, when I feel like it :wink:


----------



## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

SteviedTT said:


> I do, when I feel like it :wink:


Typical bloke :lol:


----------



## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

Dotti said:


> SteviedTT said:
> 
> 
> > I do, when I feel like it :wink:
> ...


ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh no no no........am down your way next week end in benfleet and bringing the clinic with me for home visits if required ?


----------



## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

Gazzer said:


> Dotti said:
> 
> 
> > SteviedTT said:
> ...


Can I bet your first Essex patient?  :lol:


----------



## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

aha i think so..............were off to that good restaurant we discussed not the dining room shit hole lol.


----------



## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

Gazzer said:


> aha i think so..............were off to that good restaurant we discussed not the dining room shit hole lol.


Boatyard?


----------



## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

Dotti said:


> Gazzer said:
> 
> 
> > aha i think so..............were off to that good restaurant we discussed not the dining room shit hole lol.
> ...


thats the one hun, bro says its good so will wait & see.


----------



## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

Gazzer said:


> Boatyard?


thats the one hun, bro says its good so will wait & see.[/quote]

Good? :lol: It's flippin awesome  . Seem to remember I recommended that to you a while ago also.


----------



## oceans7 (Oct 20, 2009)

is this fucking surgery still open coz i've got a question for doc Gaz. What do you recommend for a swollen eye? I've tried vaseline, butter and coconut oil, but the bastard is still swelling. I'm getting a bit scared now though as it's like looking down the top of a volcano. 
I've been too embarrassed to tell anyone up until now, but figured what better way than to unburden my clinical woes than on the flame room in the TT forum, I have to admit watching those fat fuckers on embarrassing bastards has helped me overcome my shyness. [smiley=freak.gif] 
Please help doctor.


----------



## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

oceans7 said:


> is this fucking surgery still open coz i've got a question for doc Gaz. What do you recommend for a swollen eye? I've tried vaseline, butter and coconut oil, but the bastard is still swelling. I'm getting a bit scared now though as it's like looking down the top of a volcano.
> I've been too embarrassed to tell anyone up until now, but figured what better way than to unburden my clinical woes than on the flame room in the TT forum, I have to admit watching those fat fuckers on embarrassing bastards has helped me overcome my shyness. [smiley=freak.gif]
> Please help doctor.


Which eye is it? Eye on your face or your one eye snake in your pants? so so trying to keep a straight face [smiley=toff.gif] :lol:


----------



## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

oceans7 said:


> is this fucking surgery still open coz i've got a question for doc Gaz. What do you recommend for a swollen eye? I've tried vaseline, butter and coconut oil, but the bastard is still swelling. I'm getting a bit scared now though as it's like looking down the top of a volcano.
> I've been too embarrassed to tell anyone up until now, but figured what better way than to unburden my clinical woes than on the flame room in the TT forum, I have to admit watching those fat fuckers on embarrassing bastards has helped me overcome my shyness. [smiley=freak.gif]
> Please help doctor.


pussy........poontang cunt or whatever other name you have for it Mr Oceans,,,,,,,,,it is the most natural lube for the jap eye. now can you please stop putting your dick in your mums face creams and jar of vaseline and forget having toats in your house again or i will have to tell her ya mucky pup.


----------



## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

Dotti said:


> oceans7 said:
> 
> 
> > is this fucking surgery still open coz i've got a question for doc Gaz. What do you recommend for a swollen eye? I've tried vaseline, butter and coconut oil, but the bastard is still swelling. I'm getting a bit scared now though as it's like looking down the top of a volcano.
> ...


wouldnt keep a straight face if mr jap eye spits in yours young lady.......


----------



## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

Gazzer said:


> Dotti said:
> 
> 
> > oceans7 said:
> ...


Ok dad, I'm officially told


----------



## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

Dad???? firkin dad!!!! am not that bloody old lol. right off for a bath and bed as yet another early start in the morning.


----------



## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

:lol: ... ok grandad then? Better?  :lol:


----------



## SalsredTT (Jan 8, 2011)

Great Grandad????

*runs*


----------



## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

Who's the dadda? :lol:


----------



## davelincs (Jan 1, 2010)

he will reply ,after he as read his children a good night story


----------



## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

davelincs said:


> he will reply ,after he as read his children a good night story


Dave your so polite you know he's a paedo :lol: :lol:


----------



## SalsredTT (Jan 8, 2011)

Dotti said:


> davelincs said:
> 
> 
> > he will reply ,after he as read his children a good night story
> ...


DOTTI!!!!!


----------



## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

SalsredTT said:


> Dotti said:
> 
> 
> > davelincs said:
> ...


Sorry mum


----------



## SalsredTT (Jan 8, 2011)

Jeesze Dots - don't wish that on any other woman!!!!!!


----------



## davelincs (Jan 1, 2010)

Dave your so polite you know he's a paedo :lol: :lol:[/quote]

DOTTI!!!!![/quote]

Sorry mum  [/quote]

Dotti, how can you say such things about, the forums own Doctor Gazzer?


----------



## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

Because I'm twisted [smiley=vampire.gif]


----------



## davelincs (Jan 1, 2010)

Dotti said:


> Because I'm twisted [smiley=vampire.gif]


 :lol: yes i guessed that


----------



## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

davelincs said:


> Dotti said:
> 
> 
> > Because I'm twisted [smiley=vampire.gif]
> ...


Ooops  :lol: group hug everybody? Gaz included [smiley=sweetheart.gif] Oh and oceans also as long As he doesn't start f'ing and blinding in my ear :lol:


----------



## A3DFU (May 7, 2002)

is this going to be a repeat of the first, locked, 3 word story :?


----------



## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

A3DFU said:


> is this going to be a repeat of the first, locked, 3 word story :?


Why do you say that? :roll:


----------



## A3DFU (May 7, 2002)

Dotti said:


> A3DFU said:
> 
> 
> > is this going to be a repeat of the first, locked, 3 word story :?
> ...


Because it seems to go that way :? :?


----------



## roddy (Dec 25, 2008)

any remedies for common flu doc,, who ever you are,,, oh,, and i dont take traditional medicines ( so called ) thanks.


----------



## oceans7 (Oct 20, 2009)

Knock Knock
Who's There?
Doctor...
Doctor who?
Doctor Fuckin' gazzer wherever you've got to.
And Dotti.... i must have a bad eye coz i cou;d not even read the little print at the end of your post, but I just know it was RUDE.
YOU'RE A RIGHT WRONGUN. :lol:


----------



## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

never been called a paedo before :? good job i know abs is messing........well i bloody hope she is!!!


----------



## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

roddy said:


> any remedies for common flu doc,, who ever you are,,, oh,, and i dont take traditional medicines ( so called ) thanks.


Roddy........suck a fishermans friend as a remedy for ya cold.

just make sure you ask him first and not zip lob suck, might get a slap :lol: :lol:


----------



## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

Gazzer said:


> never been called a paedo before :? good job i know abs is messing........well i bloody hope she is!!!


That's why this forum is adapted with emoticons such as ' :lol: :lol: ' to show things are ment in jest not horribly!  so for those of you who don't quite know or like my humour then f**k off!  ,,, notice the  emoticon :wink:


----------



## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

I need to pop into the surgery! Think my tourettes is back! :lol:


----------



## rustyintegrale (Oct 1, 2006)

Dotti said:


> I need to pop into the surgery! Think my tourettes is back! :lol:


You fat Essex tart... :lol: :lol: :wink: :-*


----------



## antcole (Apr 4, 2009)

Gazzer said:


> uncle gazz is the forum listener & shoulder to cry on, especially sexual probs
> sTTink is the ttf Doctor who will diagnose your medical problems & respond accordingly.
> rich aka rusty is the newly graduated forum consultant, any probs the doc cant sort rich will jump in.
> 
> so.....bring it on guys n gals on all related problems


Dear auntie Gaz,

Ive been keeping this one quiet for too long now and its eating me up inside.

Ive recently moved up to the 3.2 owners echelons, its a heady and awe enspiring altitude to say the least.... but, although i am in theory an actual owner and it is 3.2..... something deeply troubles me.

Its silver.

Ive tried so hard to call it Avus Grey, Avus Blue, christ ive even called it Caspian Blue in certain circles.... just to feel part of the snug.....

What can i do? Who can i turn to?

Please help me through this difficult time in my life.


----------



## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

rustyintegrale said:


> Dotti said:
> 
> 
> > I need to pop into the surgery! Think my tourettes is back! :lol:
> ...


Shutup you ginger bellend! :wink:


----------



## A3DFU (May 7, 2002)

Dear Ant,

Even though I'm not a registered practitioner in this surgery, I suggest you make a quick trip to B&Q asap and get some red metallic spray paint and then set to work all over the 3.2. Start from the top and work in sweeping movements, keeping you wrist relaxed at all times. It will be especially important to use the trigger finger in a very controlled manner else the result won't be as pleasing as it should!
When finished, step back, have a can of beer ,,,,, and voilà: addmire your new 3.2 in all its glory and then decide on a name for the colour


----------



## antcole (Apr 4, 2009)

A3DFU said:


> Dear Ant,
> 
> Even though I'm not a registered practitioner in this surgery, I suggest you make a quick trip to B&Q asap and get some red metallic spray paint and then set to work all over the 3.2. Start from the top and work in sweeping movements, keeping you wrist relaxed at all times. It will be especially important to use the trigger finger in a very controlled manner else the result won't be as pleasing as it should!
> When finished, step back, have a can of beer ,,,,, and voilà: addmire your new 3.2 in all its glory and then decide on a name for the colour


You dont know what a weight you have just lifted from my shoulders.....
How can i ever thank you enough!!

Although..... what if im seen going into a B&Q store??? Its not the sort of place we 3.2'ers would frequent.....

Thanks again for the advice, its helped.... alot


----------



## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

antcole said:


> Although..... what if im seen going into a B&Q store??? Its not the sort of place we 3.2'ers would frequent.....


That's because all 3.2ers go to poundland or poundstretcher :lol:


----------



## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

antcole said:


> Gazzer said:
> 
> 
> > uncle gazz is the forum listener & shoulder to cry on, especially sexual probs
> ...


dear Ant......you clearly have a 3.2 hang up due to over inflated altitude (smug cunt) however i have a plan to sort it without drugs or a baseball bat..........my preferred method :lol: :lol: :lol: lets just call it silver and not a prefix knob word in its place. NOW FUK OFF AND STOP WASTING MY TIME when i could be sorting a real problem like Dani's crap spud hang up or Dotti's jap eye fixation. (get ya arse to power station event and have a free meal)


----------



## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

Dotti said:


> rustyintegrale said:
> 
> 
> > Dotti said:
> ...


not another fucking ginger?????


----------



## antcole (Apr 4, 2009)

Gazzer said:


> antcole said:
> 
> 
> > Gazzer said:
> ...


Hmmmm yes i see.... 
Im taking all of this in btw....

Power station you say.... i am quite hungry.

Did anyone tell you that you have a good listening ear and excellent bedside manner?


----------



## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

no they say i am a cunt normally bud :lol: :lol: :lol:


----------



## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

Dr Dr my 13 year old son has just found out at A&E he has a broken arm caused by a bicycle accident  ... should I break the other one so he has a matching pair?


----------



## roddy (Dec 25, 2008)

Gazzer said:


> roddy said:
> 
> 
> > any remedies for common flu doc,, who ever you are,,, oh,, and i dont take traditional medicines ( so called ) thanks.
> ...


i guess you talkin from experience then


----------



## Tangerine Knight (Jul 25, 2010)

dr gaz help i think im going blind !!!

i have always worked on the principle one in the morning to wake you up , one at night to get you to sleep and anything inbetween is a bonus :roll:

as you know been awol from the forum for a while so had more time on my hands do you suggest closing one eye to save my sight or not ?


----------



## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

blackpoolfc said:


> dr gaz help i think im going blind !!!
> 
> i have always worked on the principle one in the morning to wake you up , one at night to get you to sleep and anything inbetween is a bonus :roll:
> 
> as you know been awol from the forum for a while so had more time on my hands do you suggest closing one eye to save my sight or not ?


welcome back m8eeee.........did notice you and gunny were absent!!! then got told were in libya as snipers shooting all the infadels while eating KFC so left it :lol: :lol: :lol:

my recoomendation to an ex forces hard fighting hard drinking man......carry on m8 the one voddy in the morn is naughty but the one in the evening is great.........will only go blind if you drink the fake stuff so be carefull ya cheapskate tosser xxx


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## Tangerine Knight (Jul 25, 2010)

Gazzer said:


> blackpoolfc said:
> 
> 
> > dr gaz help i think im going blind !!!
> ...


 thought about nipping over there just to see if i could find him [bounty hunter] have got some desert camo and a brand new pair of desert boots

problem is was watching all the footage on the news and all the rebels are fighting in flipflops now i know its probably a soldier thing but i dont think flipflops either go with the macho image of a freedom fighter or meet the relevant health and safety for skirmishing in that and i dont lookgood in flipflops


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

blackpoolfc said:


> Gazzer said:
> 
> 
> > blackpoolfc said:
> ...


WEBBBED FEET..........WEBBED FEET lmao m8 you just crack me at times, hows the old man btw you never did say?
saw dinger in chelt a month or so back visiting family, god he is looking older.........see what marriage does to a man lol


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## Tangerine Knight (Jul 25, 2010)

WEBBBED FEET..........WEBBED FEET lmao m8 you just crack me at times, hows the old man btw you never did say?
saw dinger in chelt a month or so back visiting family, god he is looking older.........see what marriage does to a man lol[/quote]

mate i shit you not it was his 92nd birthday on sunday

goes over to blackpool was told to wear my para t shirt

we went to the squirrel with him [hes there para tie/para blazer on ] and we meet up in the pub ,a few of the ex paras by chance were in there all in there 60s so the generation below him but one above me

he is a celebrity with them as he was one of the paras when they were formed in the war

gaz you guessed it 17 pints mate [made me looklike a light weight] problem is though he aint so good on his legs on a good day

went home had a kip them was pestering me to go out again at night wheni refused he got me brother to take him out

the fellas fucking 92 and no sighn of giving up problem is we have to keep reminding him no one wants a 92 year old boyfriend dont stop him trying tho the dirty old bastard


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

blackpoolfc said:


> WEBBBED FEET..........WEBBED FEET lmao m8 you just crack me at times, hows the old man btw you never did say?
> saw dinger in chelt a month or so back visiting family, god he is looking older.........see what marriage does to a man lol


mate i shit you not it was his 92nd birthday on sunday

goes over to blackpool was told to wear my para t shirt

we went to the squirrel with him [hes there para tie/para blazer on ] and we meet up in the pub ,a few of the ex paras by chance were in there all in there 60s so the generation below him but one above me

he is a celebrity with them as he was one of the paras when they were formed in the war

gaz you guessed it 17 pints mate [made me looklike a light weight] problem is though he aint so good on his legs on a good day

went home had a kip them was pestering me to go out again at night wheni refused he got me brother to take him out

the fellas fucking 92 and no sighn of giving up problem is we have to keep reminding him no one wants a 92 year old boyfriend dont stop him trying tho the dirty old bastard[/quote]
crying here bud..........and i know you cant say dad youve had enough as the tongue lashing would be painfull. lol bless him and for what he has been through m8. ahahahaa cracking


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## SteviedTT (Apr 10, 2009)

Dear Aunty Gaz
Please help me with a problem I've got at the moment. When I wake up in the morning the missus and I have sex twice before we get out of bed and then again in the kitchen before I leave for work. When I get to work the boss's wife gets a good seeing to and then I'm off out in my van, usually having sex with most women who's houses I call to. Back to base at the end of the day to give the bosses wife one and then home to see to the missus again, usually 3/4 times before we go to sleep. My problem is, my dick hurts everytime I have a wank :?


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## Tangerine Knight (Jul 25, 2010)

i did tell him he had enough

told me to fuck off to the bar get him another one

im 48 on sunday talks to me like im still a kid at times


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## Tangerine Knight (Jul 25, 2010)

SteviedTT said:


> Dear Aunty Gaz
> Please help me with a problem I've got at the moment. When I wake up in the morning the missus and I have sex twice before we get out of bed and then again in the kitchen before I leave for work. When I get to work the boss's wife gets a good seeing to and then I'm off out in my van, usually having sex with most women who's houses I call to. Back to base at the end of the day to give the bosses wife one and then home to see to the missus again, usually 3/4 times before we go to sleep. My problem is, my dick hurts everytime I have a wank :?


iknow the answer to this dont need a phd for this one

wankers cramp


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

SteviedTT said:


> Dear Aunty Gaz
> Please help me with a problem I've got at the moment. When I wake up in the morning the missus and I have sex twice before we get out of bed and then again in the kitchen before I leave for work. When I get to work the boss's wife gets a good seeing to and then I'm off out in my van, usually having sex with most women who's houses I call to. Back to base at the end of the day to give the bosses wife one and then home to see to the missus again, usually 3/4 times before we go to sleep. My problem is, my dick hurts everytime I have a wank :?


prob is steve........every morning you bugger off to work me and the darts team stop round and have at least three goes each before she shouts FUK OFFFFFF THAT 180...........then we all sit and watch ya pornos till 5 mins before ya due and wank ya cunt. moral of the story is ya a lightweight m8.........missus has soooo much more stamina than you :lol: :lol: try boiled danndilion leaves as even viagra cant help you limpy


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## SteviedTT (Apr 10, 2009)

Gazzer said:


> SteviedTT said:
> 
> 
> > Dear Aunty Gaz
> ...


Thanks for that Gaz, you cunt :lol: Good, isn't she :wink:


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## Tangerine Knight (Jul 25, 2010)

dr gaz

wifes just told me gavin from auto glass has been round today and injected her crack with his special resin

she dont own a car

is she losing her marbles thinking she owns things that dont exist


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

SteviedTT said:


> Gazzer said:
> 
> 
> > SteviedTT said:
> ...


steve if you wern't 6'6" and 19 stone of muscle i maybe would of considered asking her to marry me and palming you off with poor old pat. however i decided to change my name and emigrate now the truth is out lol


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

blackpoolfc said:


> dr gaz
> 
> wifes just told me gavin from auto glass has been round today and injected her crack with his special resin
> 
> ...


Dear Mr Everton........from the sample you sent in i can only assume your wifes surname was gorge? AS IN FUCKING CHEDDAR anything that could fill it let alone with resin is not of this world..........she has been abducted and abused by aliens i am afraid. does she sit alone and smile alot to herself?


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## Tangerine Knight (Jul 25, 2010)

Gazzer said:


> blackpoolfc said:
> 
> 
> > dr gaz
> ...


yes she does smile alot and slavers

also have noticed a cheesy smell from her but i thought this was a hygiene issue

ps i think im mental for playing along with this thread


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

blackpoolfc said:


> Gazzer said:
> 
> 
> > blackpoolfc said:
> ...


yep you are another surgery cunt caught out now fuck off tosser


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## Tangerine Knight (Jul 25, 2010)

yep you are another surgery doodah caught out now fuck off tosser [/quote]

ok just sleep with one eye open 
and if you here the slap of fipflops up your drive stand by it could be me 
just ordering some dpm ones on line wonder if they have socks to match ?


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

blackpoolfc said:


> yep you are another surgery doodah caught out now fuck off tosser


ok just sleep with one eye open 
and if you here the slap of fipflops up your drive stand by it could be me 
just ordering some dpm ones on line wonder if they have socks to match ?[/quote]

forget dpm lime pit m8 is whats required for any scum and i will add staff if required lol


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## Tangerine Knight (Jul 25, 2010)

Gazzer said:


> blackpoolfc said:
> 
> 
> > yep you are another surgery doodah caught out now fuck off tosser
> ...


forget dpm lime pit m8 is whats required for any scum and i will add staff if required lol[/quote]

?


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