# Beer



## dee (Jun 3, 2005)

"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel shamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
~ Jack Handy

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your jocks and socks.
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"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. "
~Frank Sinatra

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
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"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
~ Henny Youngman

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
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"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not."
~ Stephen Wright

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
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"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!"
~ Brian O'Rourke

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
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"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
~ Benjamin Franklin

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
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"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."
~ Dave Barry

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
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To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can!
~ Dave Howell

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
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And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin, of Cheers. One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm.
Here's how it went:

"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not


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## dee (Jun 3, 2005)

more beer

http://www.blufindivers.com/Fun/1984.wmv


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## dee (Jun 3, 2005)

even more beer


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## dee (Jun 3, 2005)

Beer

Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink I feel
ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers
in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't
drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams
would be shattered. I think, "It is better to drink this beer
and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about
my liver.

~~Babe Ruth


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## dee (Jun 3, 2005)

"YOU SEE NORM, IT'S LIKE THIS, A HERD OF BUFFALO CAN ONLY MOVE
AS FAST AS THE SLOWEST BUFFALO. WHEN THE HERD IS HUNTED, IT IS
THE SLOWEST AND WEAKEST ONES AT THE BACK THAT ARE KILLED FIRST.
THE NATURAL SLECTION IS GOOD FOR THE HERD AS A WHOLE, BECAUSE
THE GENERAL SPEED AND HEALTH OF THE WHOLE GROUP KEEPS IMPROVING
BY THE REGULAR KILLING OF THE WEAKEST MEMBERS. IN MUCH THE SAME
WAY, THE HUMAN BRAIN CAN ONLY OPERATE AS FAST AS THE SLOWEST
BRAIN CELLS. NOW, AS WE KNOW, EXCESSIVE INTAKE OF ALCOHOL KILLS
BRAIN CELLS. BUT NATURALLY, IT ATTACKS THE SLOWEST AND WEAKEST
BRAIN CELLS FIRST. IN THIS WAY, REGULAR CONSUMPTION OF BEER
ELIMINATES THE WEAKER BRAIN CELLS, MAKING THE BRAIN A FASTER AND
MORE EFFICIENT MACHINE. AND THAT, NORM, IS WHY YOU ALWAYS FEEL
SMARTER AFTER A FEW BEERS."


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## YELLOW_TT (Feb 25, 2004)

dee said:


> "YOU SEE NORM, IT'S LIKE THIS, A HERD OF BUFFALO CAN ONLY MOVE
> AS FAST AS THE SLOWEST BUFFALO. WHEN THE HERD IS HUNTED, IT IS
> THE SLOWEST AND WEAKEST ONES AT THE BACK THAT ARE KILLED FIRST.
> THE NATURAL SLECTION IS GOOD FOR THE HERD AS A WHOLE, BECAUSE
> ...


dam your right and 
im off to make my brain faster and more efficient machine sounds so much better that lets get pissed lads :lol: 
and by the way beer in no joking matter :wink:


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