# The two stroke engine



## ScoobyTT (Aug 24, 2009)

Which absolute _WANKER _invented this? And which absolute WANKERS design bikes and devices that use them and think "yeah, that sounds LOVELY! NO need to improve that"? And which _absolute fucking knob-jockeys_ buy a two stroke bike and think "I know, I can make it sound really powerful if I take the baffles out"?

Mopeds: Shove your pissant buzzing noise machine up your arse! Ideally with a selection of walnuts. How can something that produces such an aural abomination go so fucking slowly?

125s: Oh just fuck off. It's not big. It's not clever.

125s who sit behind you at lights flicking the accelerator: you're not going anywhere so SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Manufacturers of the above: MAKE THEM QUIET YOU ASSHOLES!

And this morning, the gardeners are in nearby with their lovely hedge trimmers. Ninety minutes (and counting) of this:

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Wait that's only 3 seconds. There's still another 89 minutes and 57 seconds to go: :x

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Oh look, that bit's not quite straight:

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[smiley=bomb.gif]

The two stroke engine: The powersource of choice for absolute *cocks*, nuisances, chavs, and pricks who love the sound of their shitty little engines everywhere.

The only legitimate usage of the two stroke engine:









Well, you've gotta fight fire with fire, haven't you? I'm going outside. I may be some time. :lol: :lol: :lol:


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## roddy (Dec 25, 2008)

2 strokes were actually invented by a very clever engineer to be used to power the starting motors on larger engines,,, they are much more powerful for their size and weight than any other type of engine,,,the most powerfull ones being diesel 2 stroke, and believe me yo do not want one of them outside your window !!!,,


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## E (May 7, 2002)

I've got a 2 stroke 250 Aprilia bike, goes like stink, literally 

E


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## PaulS (Jun 15, 2002)

roddy said:


> 2 strokes were actually invented by a very clever engineer to be used to power the starting motors on larger engines,,, they are much more powerful for their size and weight than any other type of engine,,,the most powerfull ones being diesel 2 stroke, and believe me yo do not want one of them outside your window !!!,,


True .... they make twice the amount of power (for the number of revolutions) compared to a 4 stroke engine, and, as they have no valve gear, they can rev much higher. But they emit way more dirty emissions, due to overlap of the inlet/exhaust cycles, and on basic petrol versions (hedge strimmers, motorbikes etc..) this is made even worse, by the fact that they use oil mixed into the petrol as lubrication!

First tuning experiences for me were widening the ports on my 50cc Yamaha FS1E engine using a dremmel! And fitting an expansion box exhaust system to tune the backpressure - made the 'virtual' valves (the ports) work properly  I swear I once had 80 mph out of it .... downhill :lol:

Agree nowdays they just seem bloody noisy and stinky. Eau de Moped.


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## Toshiba (Jul 8, 2004)

z


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## Dash (Oct 5, 2008)

I can remember a friend recounting a conversation he overheard about a moped rider boasting about getting 60mph out of his moped. It was all fine until the lorry pulled away and he lost the slipstream...

I think the age for mopeds and bikes should be raised to 21 - road sense is often lacking in most young riders which only puts their lives at risk (and maybe my body work).


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## antmanb (Jun 10, 2010)

Dash said:


> I think the age for mopeds and bikes should be raised to 21 - road sense is often lacking in most young riders which only puts their lives at risk (and maybe my body work).


Very true - the road leading up to my house goes in front of a school so at either end the pavements come out blocking the road giving priority to one side. The stupid little 17 year old chavs try to chicane through as fast as they can for fun and i've driven past on four occasions and seen the same fuckwitted kid spilled out on the road with his hair dryer in the bushes. They never fucking learn and put everyone else at risk from their fuckwittry. Maybe if the little twat finally get paralized he'll stop :roll:

Ant


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## Bikerz (Aug 23, 2008)

Yeah these 125 2 stroke GP bikes only capable of 160mph, always getting in my way too :roll: :lol: 
A rs125 will do 0-62mph in 6sec easily and onto 100mph so If you get stuck behind one its nothing to do with lack of power :wink:


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## Bikerz (Aug 23, 2008)

Dash said:


> I can remember a friend recounting a conversation he overheard about a moped rider boasting about getting 60mph out of his moped. It was all fine until the lorry pulled away and he lost the slipstream...
> 
> I think the age for mopeds and bikes should be raised to 21 - road sense is often lacking in most young riders which only puts their lives at risk (and maybe my body work).


 [smiley=argue.gif] Ok same for 17 year olds in car :roll:

You didnt think that through at all did you buddy? :lol: 
Bikers and chavs that ride like that will only end up dead or in hospital and they wont get back up so you only have to put up for it for a while! Leave us true bikes alone

I was 17 when I got my A1 bike licence and 19 when I got my IAM :wink:


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## Dash (Oct 5, 2008)

Yeah, but they risk denting my bonnet in the process of dying.

Real bikers will get onto a bike after driving about in a car for a while. The others won't see the need. Bikes require far more skill and respect for the road, something that tends to come with experience and age. Sure there are exceptions, like with most things, but legislation is never about the exceptions.


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## ScoobyTT (Aug 24, 2009)

All that aside, the two stroke engine is still the product of Satan's own rectum. 130 years of this crap and still no-one's thought to make the bloody things quiet! How sodding hard can it be? :roll:


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## wja96 (Mar 4, 2010)

Where do you live? I'll get my dad to come round with the 850cc SAAB 96 Monte Carlo ex-works rally car. 3 cylinder 2 stroke, 110bhp/litre and something of a racket. And then there's the smoke issue. With 3 carburettors dumping a thick mix of petrol and 2 stroke oil into the cylinders it does tend to generate it's own cloak of blackness. I'm a V4 man myself but you can't help but smile when you hear him coming - from miles away!


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## ScoobyTT (Aug 24, 2009)

It's a lovely offer, really, but I think I'll pass. :roll:


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## roddy (Dec 25, 2008)

ScoobyTT said:


> All that aside, the two stroke engine is still the product of Satan's own rectum. 130 years of this crap and still no-one's thought to make the bloody things quiet! How sodding hard can it be? :roll:


you could always ban them,, but what would Bradley Smith do then ?? :? :?


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## woolley bully (Jun 13, 2010)

Bikerz said:


> Yeah these 125 2 stroke GP bikes only capable of 160mph, always getting in my way too :roll: :lol:
> A rs125 will do 0-62mph in 6sec easily and onto 100mph so If you get stuck behind one its nothing to do with lack of power :wink:


true ...had a cr500 along time ago ..i swear my arms were 2 inch longer after being on it for an hour :lol:


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## Bikerz (Aug 23, 2008)

Dash said:


> Yeah, but they risk denting my bonnet in the process of dying.
> 
> Real bikers will get onto a bike after driving about in a car for a while. The others won't see the need. Bikes require far more skill and respect for the road, something that tends to come with experience and age. Sure there are exceptions, like with most things, but legislation is never about the exceptions.


Oh how you got that sooooooooooooo wrong. Most bikers that have riden all their life and still alive started out on bikes and never got a car till family later on in life. Like me, Full bike licence at 17 and got a car at 18/19. Ages has nothing to do with anything bar candles on your cake :roll:


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## SVStu (Dec 11, 2006)

Dont worry the noise will stop soon when the engine dies because they couldnt be bothered topping up with the right oil, or any at all in the case of scooter riders :lol:


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## Bikerz (Aug 23, 2008)

They tend to sexie every 5k no matter how well you build them and look after them :lol:


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## m4rky (Jul 20, 2008)

Sorry I really miss the 2 stroke engine as I loved them on my bikes especially my Yamaha RD350LC and others

This is another thing that the green element of society have completely fucked up! We used to have a great thing called GP bike racing where only the very best riders could tame the legendary 500cc NSR Honda.

I'm talking about the greats like Mick Doohan  This was really entertaining and there were only a handful of really top riders who were at the very top of their game. We have now lost the 250cc racing too :evil:

Now thanks to the greens we have MotoGP - Whilst I still love this racing it would seem that nearly anyone can now be quick  Take Ben Spies - He's suddenly up there at the front and why - because he is obviously on Valentino Rossi's bike whilst he's off injured. There's my point - on the 500cc bikes no one else could have ridden his bike let alone use it to move up the standings 

So what if they are a bit polutive; In the great scheme of things they are hardly going to make a great difference are they.

Yet another nail in our freedoms that are being taken away under the fucking green banner :evil:

I feel better now thanks


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## Bikerz (Aug 23, 2008)

Yeah bring back the 500's. High side R US!

My cousin still has his RGV 500 in garage that he brought brand new


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## Dash (Oct 5, 2008)

Bikerz said:


> Dash said:
> 
> 
> > Yeah, but they risk denting my bonnet in the process of dying.
> ...


I worded that wrong. If you ban bikes until 21, a real biker will still want to get one at that age. Other people won't see the need and stick with a car. Real bikers are more enthusiastic than your average road user, and pay a lot of attention, it's that gap inbetween of a cheap bit of transport and being old enough and wealthy enough to buy a car.

I imagine you for example would still go out and get a bike at 21 even if you already had a car.


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## Bikerz (Aug 23, 2008)

Once a biker always a biker, even if you have been down the road and given a 50/50 chance of living :wink:


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## woolley bully (Jun 13, 2010)

Bikerz said:


> Once a biker always a biker, even if you have been down the road and given a 50/50 chance of living :wink:


+1


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