# He wants, she wants - where's the compromise?



## Gone (May 5, 2009)

Not so much about cars, this one, more about lifestyle choices. A house buying conundrum. I'm interested in the forum's opinions on what might make a suitable compromise here.

Situation is Mrs G and I have a 3 year old, near enough, and a new born due any day now. We live in a 2 bed flat in a nice part of London, near to where she grew up. It's lovely, in a very posh can't-afford-to-buy-your-own-home sort of way. We need to move in the next 6 months and have spent the last year looking pretty much at everything beyond the M25 in an arc from Berkhamstead to Reading to Guildford and back again. We've had little joy.

The crux of the issue is this:

I want off street parking and somewhere to keep a car under cover. A garage would be nice, but I'm not greedy - a car port will do. We will be a 3 car family, so we need off street for at least 2 cars and preferably 3. In case you're wondering, a car for commuting, a family shifter, a weekend toy.

She wants to be within a 15 min walk of the town centre and station, as she commutes by train and doesn't want to have to drive, either to battle for the station parking or just to get to out with the kids to see people.

The houses that are closer to the centre don't have parking. The houses that have parking are generally further than a brisk walk to the station. The places that have both are generally sleepy villages with little going on, and on the stopping service train routes. You're back to driving to get out.

How to break this dichotomy?

I'm not after suggestions of where to live - I've left that vague deliberately as we have pretty much visited, looked at property, had things fall through or just had a virtual drive through on google earth, everywhere within 40 miles. I'm more looking for suggestions on how to manage one challenge or the other, i.e. if we sacrifice the parking, how do I keep a nice car in good nick and where do I work on it, or on the other hand, if we sacrifice the location, how does my mrs get to the station for her commute (2 days a week), or into town, without feeling like she's stuck in the sticks?

Open for discussion.

Aside. The weekend car will be from Blackpool and I've been after one for 20 years. They have special maintenance needs!

First world problems etc.


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## leopard (May 1, 2015)

Almost impossible for a third party to offer any kind of meaningful advice here as you've covered all the angles..bar one.

You're a young family,concentrate on that for the time being and put the cars on the back burner.

You have along time ahead of yourself and things will change


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## Shug750S (Feb 6, 2012)

You haven't said what your budget is. Loads of places in South London / Surrey borders whe semi datached houses have garages, and within 15 minutes walk of station.

Worcester Park, Stoneleigh, Woking etc.

Guess a decent three bed semi with garage would be start at circa £500k....


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## Danny1 (Sep 2, 2010)

Dont give in on the parking you will regret it, get the house with the most space, better for cars and kids, Mrs can get a taxi if only 2 days a week, simple!


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## Graham H (Mar 29, 2015)

Hi move to Grantham 1 hour on the train plenty of houses with plenty of parking great in laid back Lincolnshire been here over 30 years now love it :wink:


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## Gone (May 5, 2009)

Shug750S said:


> You haven't said what your budget is. Loads of places in South London / Surrey borders whe semi datached houses have garages, and within 15 minutes walk of station.
> 
> Worcester Park, Stoneleigh, Woking etc.
> 
> Guess a decent three bed semi with garage would be start at circa £500k....


It's this in a nutshell really. Worcs. Pk etc doesn't work for my commute (M4J5) but we've been pretty much everywhere that does. Woking's got decent areas but they're either over budget (Horsell) or too far from the station. Factor in one of us has to do the school/nursery drop off and one has to collect, farting about going back and to before walking to the station, or getting there too late to get a space, doesn't work. Once you start adding in nice looking houses in nice looking streets with predominantly white-collar residents, it gets a lot harder. I'd be happy enough in a village close to a bigger town, or a less delightful town. But it's not all about me. There's load of places, but mrs has been spoilt by her upbringing. Damn women!

We are where we are and we need to find a way to make it work.


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## mighTy Tee (Jul 10, 2002)

Apply to Kirsty and Phil to appear on Location Location?

Seriously though, having lived in our current house for nearly 21 years, we are (finally) moving in the next few weeks, compromises have had to be made (I only get a single garage, she doesn't get a sea view - which we have now, we are getting 2 bedrooms that we don't really need) however we have found a place which is the best compromise and of course requires a bigger mortgage than we wanted.

Certainly down here properties are moving very quickly, so on that basis, you should be able to find your onward move before marketing your current home. As for garage it may be a matter of finding a nearby separate garage/storage to buy or rent?


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## Nails (Mar 16, 2016)

For us I give up the idea of a garage but settled for off street parking and space under cover which by summer is a covered seating area and winter a car storage place out of the elements.
I've an almost 4 year old and a 3 month old so a decent sized garden and house is a bit more important.
Living in the north east of course helps with house prices and allows me to be mortgage free at 36 and both now work part time for more family time and to help manage the childcare issues.
I couldn't think of anything worse than living in a built up area. 
The thing is living in sticks you can always go to the city when you want us when you live in the city it's only for brief respites you can escape.


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## Gone (May 5, 2009)

Nails said:


> For us I give up the idea of a garage but settled for off street parking and space under cover which by summer is a covered seating area and winter a car storage place out of the elements.
> I've an almost 4 year old and a 3 month old so a decent sized garden and house is a bit more important.
> Living in the north east of course helps with house prices and allows me to be mortgage free at 36 and both now work part time for more family time and to help manage the childcare issues.
> I couldn't think of anything worse than living in a built up area.
> The thing is living in sticks you can always go to the city when you want us when you live in the city it's only for brief respites you can escape.


That's exactly where I'm coming from. We won't be mortgage free for many years, but that just comes with the territory down here. Car port is one option that would work but you still need space down the side of the house to build it.

We actually have applied to Kirsty & Phil. Why not?!


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## Nails (Mar 16, 2016)

You can have a free standing carport should you have the right space. Mine is awkward as it's a single road access which is more like a wide path and the swing in is a bit of a shuffle. But for storage or odd jobs it's fine. I'll try and get some pics up when I'm on the pc.


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## Hark (Aug 23, 2007)

Buying a house is all about compromise and I guess only you know what you're willing to give up.

£500k for a 3 bed semi in a built up area makes me shudder. Glad it works for someone but never seen the appeal.


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## spike (Dec 26, 2013)

which TVR are you looking at?

My mate lost his Griffin in this 
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... arage.html


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## Grizzlebear (Oct 2, 2015)

Firstly your moving from rented i take it and will want to buy your own? That would make it easier to stomach the loss of the posh house, its not yours and the new house will be your first roots.

I lived the no parking thing for a while in a town, we gave everything up for "the house" and after the novelty wore off we regretted it. We now live in a village on a quiet cul de sac and would never go back. You see loads of couples on programs who are moving away from town centers and away from london. You rarely see people doing it the other way. Its a big change of lifestyle moving to suburbia but for a young family i think its a natural progression.

just my thoughts and not the opinion of the BBC!


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## Gone (May 5, 2009)

Hark said:


> Buying a house is all about compromise and I guess only you know what you're willing to give up.
> 
> £500k for a 3 bed semi in a built up area makes me shudder. Glad it works for someone but never seen the appeal.


I agree, but work and family are where they are and moving's not on the cards. If it were down to me I'd pack it in and move back to the Midlands tomorrow but that's not going to happen.

I'd be happy in a village but mrs wants some sort of social activity on the doorstep, that means we need some sort of town rather than proper quiet little villages.

At the moment it's looking rather like being on the right side of the wrong end of town, if we do this move. Having said that something has just come on the market near us with a lot of space at a very good price that would see us mortgage clear in under 10 years. Which is tempting and very Cerbera friendly.


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## shao_khan (May 7, 2002)

I moved out of Docklands about 12 years ago now. This was due to arrival of children.

We wanted similar to you, but house prices have moved on somewhat so our 2 bed flat gave us the equivalent of a 4 bed detached with double garage in the areas we were looking at.

We finally settled on one of the small towns adjoined to Milton Keynes. I have a rail station that 15 mins walk takes me to Bedford. another 15 mins drive and 35 mins to Euston, 5 miles from M1. We nearly went Ely way in Cambridgeshire, but the houses here were slightly cheaper.

We have some great facilities around us for the kids as they have grown up, and I'm pleased we've made the move.

My niece has just brought a 3 bed semi 1960's ex-council place about 10 miles from us and hers was £248k. Very nice size and she is in walking distance to a rail station / town centre, etc.

In the end we decided to move a little further out because we didn't feel that the surrey / Bucks borders with London were actually offering us much on our budget.


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