# Funny things you have done on a car



## FRAX (Jul 21, 2013)

Well have you ever done anything that has made you laugh while working on your car, something stupid even?
Are you willing to share?
Well I will kick of

I was in a rush one day and a van came in needing the brakes looked at.
I had the air gun at hand and a set of impact sockets.
Jacked the van up and fitted the impact socket on the wheel nut.
Pulled the trigger and the head of the nut spun off.
I had to laugh at myself.  
The van was fitted with plastic wheel caps with imitation nuts - it's now missing one.
If you can't laugh at yourself who can you laugh at


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## brian1978 (Jul 10, 2013)

Drove through the clyde tunnel, was bright daylight. Entering it BLACKOUT...... s*** the lights in thd tunnel are not on! 
So I turn my car lights on WAHHHHH still blackout they dont work! I can't seeeee. Im going to dieeeeeeeesee.

[Takes dark sunglasses off]....


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## FRAX (Jul 21, 2013)

Glad to see that I am not the only one who can laugh at himself for being daft :lol: :lol:


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## Pugwash69 (Jun 12, 2012)

I shut my fingers in the car door once. I can't remember what I was trying to do but it hurt for a few days.


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## RSSTT (May 30, 2014)

Was checking levels under the bonnet before a long drive of my now sold Audi A4 and was being distracted by a mate who was chatting some nonsense. Ending up checking the dip stick and topping up the oil but forgot to put the oil cap back on as I was talking. I left the oil cap on the edge of the engine bay and then closed the bonnet onto it quite hard. Thankfully only cracked the outer casing and it was still fitting properly.


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## brian1978 (Jul 10, 2013)

RSSTT said:


> Was checking levels under the bonnet before a long drive of my now sold Audi A4 and was being distracted by a mate who was chatting some nonsense. Ending up checking the dip stick and topping up the oil but forgot to put the oil cap back on as I was talking. I left the oil cap on the edge of the engine bay and then closed the bonnet onto it quite hard. Thankfully only cracked the outer casing and it was still fitting properly.


Did a similar thing on an astra van eccept I left a tin of wd40 lying on the strut. Slammed the bonet down bursting the aerosol spraying it everywhere. It also jammed the bonnet up and the extra friction stopped the bonnet release latch working. Had to end up dismanteling the grille to get in with a screwdriver to pop it free :roll:


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## Mr Funk (Apr 27, 2014)

Ex girl friend. She was quite funny.


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## Hoggy (May 8, 2002)

Mr Funk said:


> Ex girl friend. She was quite funny.


Hi, :lol: :lol: 
Hoggy.


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## FRAX (Jul 21, 2013)

Another one for ye, 
A few years ago I decided to grease my Defender winch cable.
Put a strap round a tree and attached the winch hook and reversed spooling all the cable out all 20 meters of it.
Next I got a tub of grease and an old paint brush + my winch remote.
Standing in front of the Defender I used the remote to start winching the cable back on greasing it as it went, I was walking backwards doing it slowly.
After about 15 meters the Defender started to roll and very nearly ran me over.
I thought the ground was flat but no the last bit went downhill.
I was able to stop the Defender after slipping on the grass.
I could imagine the headlines in the local rag - Man dies after being run over by his own Land Rover.

I am not always this daft.


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## Smeds (Oct 28, 2009)

Screenwash in the coolant, didn't even look at the label. 
Pushed a rust patch to see how bad it was and popped a big hole in the wing. 
Connected battery charging cables without looking at the polarity.

Writing it down I've realised none of these were on my own car, there have been plenty but I choose to forget them.


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## Pugwash69 (Jun 12, 2012)

My business partner had a dodgy connection on his battery once. He popped the bonnet and asked me to turn the engine over. He forgot to let go of the terminals first.


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## FRAX (Jul 21, 2013)

Pugwash69 said:


> My business partner had a dodgy connection on his battery once. He popped the bonnet and asked me to turn the engine over. He forgot to let go of the terminals first.


Well at least he will know he is still alive after that shock :lol: :lol: 
Did you laugh


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## kevbeans (Jun 14, 2013)

The 2 I remember most would be. 
1: driving my van after someone tried to steal it breaking the ignition in the process. I decide on a sweeping bend joing a motorway at 70 to stick my finger in the hole where the ignition barrel used to be and managed to engage the steering lock.
2: same van, front wheels on ramps while i'm under it trying to disconnect the starter, spanner connects 2 of the terminals, van is in gear so drives off ramps almost onto me and through front of house.


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## Jenny H (Aug 25, 2013)

Most stupid thing I have done..... Drove my mini 850 out of a pub car park without taking the crook lock off. I had put the crook lock round the brake instead of the clutch so had no steering and no brakes. Straight across the main A45 dual carriageway into the centre barrier.   
2nd most stupid thing was hand painting my Morris 1000 with pale blue Dulux 

Jenny


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## brian1978 (Jul 10, 2013)

Stood in asda carpark frantically trying to open my silver saxo vts, dumbfounded as to why both key and fob wouldn't work.

Realising im driving my van and my saxo is sitting at home on the drive [smiley=bigcry.gif]


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## RSSTT (May 30, 2014)

Came home to find that the front bumper (on the corner) had a big scrape on it (again my old Audi A4)

Ex GF's laughed at me and said the wall at the multi storey carpark popped outta nowhere.

I didn't laugh.


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## brian1978 (Jul 10, 2013)

RSSTT said:


> Came home to find that the front bumper (on the corner) had a big scrape on it (again my old Audi A4)
> 
> Ex GF's laughed at me and said the wall at the multi storey carpark popped outta nowhere.
> 
> I didn't laugh.


Ex GF


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## RSSTT (May 30, 2014)

brian1978 said:


> RSSTT said:
> 
> 
> > Came home to find that the front bumper (on the corner) had a big scrape on it (again my old Audi A4)
> ...


Yes indeed. She also reversed into a post at a car park and dinged the top of the bootlid. Quized her on it, she said, "oh I was reversing and felt something but didn't realise what I'd done"


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## Cloud (Sep 4, 2012)

Twice now, I've got into the car, closed the door, then realised that I'm sat in the passenger seat!


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## YoungOldUn (Apr 12, 2011)

Cloud said:


> Twice now, I've got into the car, closed the door, then realised that I'm sat in the passenger seat!


 :lol: :lol:

In the early seventies I owned a Vauxhall Viva saloon. One Saturday I parked in a side street to go shopping in town, returned half an hour later opened the car, started it, drove down the side street and was queuing to join traffic on the high street when I noticed a parcel on the passenger seat. Mmmmm thought I, where has that come from, strange. Hang on a mo, the mileage isn't right, oh sh!t its not my car!
Quickly drove round the side streets and parked the car back where it had come from and found my car (Similar reg, same colour) parked further down the street.


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## Otley (May 15, 2013)

Had my overalls on, top half tied round my waist, as it was a hot day. Started reversing a wagon out of the workshop and realised the roller shutter door wasn't fully up. Normally I'd climb out backwards, three points of contact and all that nonsense, this time just put my right hand on the wheel arch and leapt out. My overalls got caught on the seat adjuster under the base and I was brought to an un dignified halt about 2 feet from the ground. My colleagues found it VERY amusing, my poor plums didn't.


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## Otley (May 15, 2013)

Pugwash69 said:


> I shut my fingers in the car door once. I can't remember what I was trying to do but it hurt for a few days.


Done this anorl. Started to shut my wagon door, then realised I'd left my gloves at the side of the seat.... left arm back in as right hand is banging door shut. Not recommended.


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## Otley (May 15, 2013)

Remembered loads of daft stuff I've done now. 
Once removed the boot stay/ram from brother in laws XR3i convertible, just expected there to be one on each side.... there wasn't, boot lid came down dead centre of my head, bent me forward then released me as it slammed shut, I was flipped over backwards and ended up flat on my back out cold. :?


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## Pugwash69 (Jun 12, 2012)

FRAX said:


> Pugwash69 said:
> 
> 
> > My business partner had a dodgy connection on his battery once. He popped the bonnet and asked me to turn the engine over. He forgot to let go of the terminals first.
> ...


Peed myself! I even heard him bang his head on the bonnet.


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## Pugwash69 (Jun 12, 2012)

Cloud said:


> Twice now, I've got into the car, closed the door, then realised that I'm sat in the passenger seat!


I've done this! I've had my car licence less than 2 years and spent 20 years leaping into mates cars.


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## J•RED (Feb 10, 2013)

Not on my car but on my motorbike I had trouble starting it and narrowed it down to an HT lead that was failing. Started the bike in the end and went out, about half an hour later the bike is running crap and I figure it's the HT lead just needs a fiddle with. Well it'd be fine if I wasn't doing 30mph when reaching down and trying to locate said HT lead. I found it then split second later I get a belt off of it, which pretty much sent me into oncoming traffic and really made me out to be a very bad motorcyclist to other road users!

I can laugh about it now


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## igotone (Mar 10, 2010)

Took a young lady to Cannock Chase once for a picnic and shortly after we arrived the heavens opened so we had the er.. picnic in the back of the car. We were parked there for yonks during which time it rained torrentially. When it came time to leave, the jag I was driving had sunk down to the back axle in the rain sodden ground. Long story short but loads of attempts to free the car with her driving and me pushing ended up with me looking like a mud spattered chimney sweep at the end of a long day and we were still stuck solid.

Luckily for us a passing Chase Ranger winched us out with his 4X4. His parting shot was " Say goodbye to your secretary for us." :lol:


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## Otley (May 15, 2013)

Was in a bit of a rush to get out of the yard this morning. Got wagon checked over and all my gear on, went into warehouse and picked up a load of spacer boards, we need these to stack empties to return, (they're like hens teeth first thing in a morning on the loading bay) and threw them on the trailer. Closed tail lift and went to get in cab. Tail lift warning buzzer sounding. :?: 
Went round to check, as I was sure I'd closed it....
I've only thrown the spacer boards on the trailer parked on the next bay to mine. [smiley=bomb.gif] 
Ar$e.


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## brittan (May 18, 2007)

I've skied behind a car - without skis.

On a quiet, snowy/icy Dartmoor road we tied a loop of rope to my mates Moggy 1000 to form 'reins' and then took it in turns to hang on to the rope and "ski" on our walking boots while being sprayed with snow by the spinning rear wheels.

With care and effort by the driver we could reach a max of about 30mph which made catching your boot on something the beginning of a lengthy slippy, slidey episode. Just the odd bruise or two . . .


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## BaueruTc (Aug 21, 2011)

In a hurry years ago round at my mates house. My car was parked in his drive, Big hedge on passenger side of car. Telling him to hurry up as we were running late for something. He is half in the car and i start reversing down drive, He called out my name, He then said it again but slightly louder this time, A second later crunch.

In my rush i never gave him time to close his door which basically got caught in the hedge and bent the door completely round and it ended up touching the wing! 

I was looking over right shoulder reversing so never saw it happening. I still reckon he should have been screaming STOP!!! rather than just saying my name rather ordinarily.


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## bilajio (Oct 2, 2009)

Mated!


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## radddogg (Mar 15, 2014)

Mine is a good one as it was on my TT

Changing the cambelt and after undoing the 4 crank pulley bolts the pulley wouldn't come off. It was loose but just wouldn't come off. I called my mate who brought round his snap on impact gun to remove the main 22mm centre bolt. As soon as he touched the trigger the pulley dropped off. Turns out there was a ring of corrosion preventing the pulley coming off and the vibrations shook it free


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## radddogg (Mar 15, 2014)

Oh and when I was 18 I poured in 4 litres of Mobil 1 before I remembered to put the sump plug in


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## eastwood1875 (Jun 21, 2013)

Had cleaned (wasn't called detailing back then) my Evo 6.5 Tommi Mak ready for a Jap show early the next morning.

Got up bright and early all excited an' stuff and went to start my baby up in the garage.

For some reason that morning I forgot I always leave cars in 1st gear&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;

BANG!

Had a nice brick work pattern/dent/scratch on my front bumper



Daz


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## PaulS (Jun 15, 2002)

Did an engine service on a Peugeot 405 I had about 10 years ago. The bonnet catch must have been a bit iffy because on the 'test run' after the service the bonnet flew up and wrapped itself around the screen and roof. I was furious with myself (and the bonnet) for not checking that it had closed properly. The funny thing was I phoned up a scrappy not too far away to see if they had a 405 bonnet. Yes they did have one and surprisingly it was in exactly the same red colour as the bent one on my car. So I drove there with bungie cords holding the bent bonnet down and swapped it over at the scrappies. The whole fiasco only added about an hour to job and from then on I made sure that oiling the catch mechanism was included in the service


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