# Christmas & in-laws



## J55TTC (Apr 25, 2005)

What the fuck?

A bit of background first: December 30th 2006 our first born arrives and understandably my in-laws (mostly the mother - a real bitch!) have already planned spending his first christmas (2007) with him. Fine no problem with me, we will go to France to spend his 2nd christmas with my parents. She obviously went away and realised that the baby was not going to be very interactive during his first christmas so decided to change their minds "No we will spend his second christmas with him" - Im like "whatever".

Anyway, she ruined christmas 2007 by causing a huge fuss saying we were excluding them and that my folks get preferential treatment to the point where my folks were a bit embarrassed about the whole thing and said forget it we will stay in France and will come over in the new year to see him. The decision was hers in the first place - WENCH!

So when all this kicks off I say fine but then we are going to France on our own for christmas 2008 and youre not invited because you are an obsessed freak! - well not those words exactly, I was diplomatic. We have not had a christmas to ourselves - ever! And a christmas to ourselves without all the usual fuss and family bollox is what we really want.

So, Saturday evening we are there for the usual bollocks when "she" pipes up "tell your folks we are coming for christmas as we want to spend the day with Max" I nearly leaned over the table and smacked her around the chops with the gravy jug. The fucking audacity of just inviting youeself eh! I kept my cool although it was extremely hard and decided to adress the situation with my better half when we got home. Now theres a rift between my wife and I, my parents are a bit upset as they have been as patient as patient can be and to top it all I just did the maths and the last christmas I spent with my parents was 1999! Ever since we have spent it with Janes folks just to keep this stupid bitch happy.

Ive lost the plot, I want to kill her in a slow torturous manner, perhaps involving that gravy jug. But what the fuck is with planning christmas in August?

Bitch you need to fuck off and leave me and my family alone!

I guess I am going to have the last laugh as the next time she asks whats happening I have already decided that Im going to let rip. Ive warned Jane and she says go for it :twisted:

Its a long read I know, but I just had to get it off my chest.

WTF :?:


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## Wondermikie (Apr 14, 2006)

J55TTC said:


> Bitch you need to fuck off and leave me and my family alone!












Love it!


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## Wallsendmag (Feb 12, 2004)

Convert to a non Christian faith and make a kiling by working through Christmas [smiley=thumbsup.gif]


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## Private Prozac (Jul 7, 2003)

That's why I fucking dread Christmas.

Pulled from pillar to post. Which son do I go to to be there when they wake up on Christmas morning? Then how long do I spend there before going over to the other son?

Thank fuck I don't get on with anyone else! :?


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## mighTy Tee (Jul 10, 2002)

The last Christmas I spent with my father was 1997 (my mother passed away in 1989). Every Christmas is with her mother, the poor lonely (mother in law wont get her own life, but expects my wife to do everything with/for her).

Going to be interesting this Christmas. My father has just had a major cancer op, and I dont see why we shouldnt spend Christmas with my father. Watch this space.

(at least we dont have kids to make things even worse)


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## Toshiba (Jul 8, 2004)

Just say no.
I want a xmas alone with my family and none of the grand parents are invited this year.
Explain to the wife its not personal, you just want to enjoy xmas with your son.

Mine will be 2 this year and thats what I've said to both families.


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## J55TTC (Apr 25, 2005)

Sounds like we are in the same boat Tosh.

The Mrs understands fully and has no problems with it I just cant understand planning christmas and getting pissed off about it all this early in the year! Our little un is 19 months and will also be 2 come christmas, sometimes I feel like an adopted father the way "that stupid bitch" carries on.

Im going to be savoring the moment when I tell her to get lost - she is going to be so pissed off :twisted:


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## mike_bailey (May 7, 2002)

Every year we agree we're going to book a holiday over Xmas to avoid this stuff and every year we don't do it...except a couple of years ago when we booked Xmas at Disney Paris and the night before we went me little girl got a nasty chest infection so we had to stay at home where my folks were because they were housesitting aggggghhhhhh :x


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## T3RBO (Dec 9, 2003)

Do you know what I would do... Say yes to her just to keep the peace for a few months, then closer to the time do what is best for your immediate family :wink:

And a small white lie saying someone is unwell is usually enough to spend time else where hassle free


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## ResB (Apr 17, 2005)

Just tell them they are not invited! Period. [smiley=argue.gif] [smiley=end.gif]


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## Private Prozac (Jul 7, 2003)

ResB said:


> Period. [smiley=argue.gif] [smiley=end.gif]


He said 'period'. :lol: :lol: :lol:










I'll get my coat!


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## MoscowE (Feb 24, 2008)

Very funny post - just don't forget to tell us all how it goes when you unburden yourself/use the gravy jug.

I've go to take my lot off to Peru this Xmas - Euro 8k just for the tickets to Lima which is a bit of a drag and once I'm there I can't even understand what they're all saying to me most of the time. Good in some ways but a bit annoying when you're getting the 'evil eye'.

Still at least they can't get to Moscow too easy - visas are great. So, top tip is that St Petersburg is very nice for a Xmas/NY trip - organise it on the sly, then let it slip with about 2-3 weeks to go. No way she'll get a visa in time. :wink:


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## mrs coope (Mar 24, 2007)

J55TTC said:


> Bitch you need to fuck off and leave me and my family alone!


You have my heartfelt sympathies, perhaps a more diplomatic way (although probably not as satisfying as ripping her head off & spitting down her neck) would be for you to publicly talk to your Mother-in-Law about YOUR Christmas dilema - :?

State clearly (& LOUDLY) in front of others that you are struggling with a personal dilema that has been eating away at your soul & causing sleepless nights, but have come to realise that because she is such a sweet, sensitive & caring individual you just KNOW she'll understand & support both you & her darling daughter in your decision & how grateful & LUCKY you feel to have such a supportive Mother-in-law as her who is so understanding & considerate of others needs :roll:

(I ought to mention it is important to do all this with an entirely straight face & with as much sincerity as possible, if you could let your eyes mist & a couple of lumps catch in your throat it could enhance the effect but FFS - don't laugh or you'll blow it completely!!)

Tell her that she is such an important person in little Maxs life, he obviously ADORES her because of the strong bond they have as she sees so much of him, naturally your Mum is desperate to see little Max & spend some quality time as she so rarely gets to,  it would be so painful for you to see poor little Max being torn between his two doting Grandmothers, would hate to see the veiled sadness in your own Mums eyes as she witnesses this strong bond which she neither could nor would compete with... neither would you wish your dear Mother in law to have her nose put out of joint if little Max was so overjoyed to see the Grandparents he so rarely gets to spend time with that he absorbs himself so basking in their love that he so rarely gets to savour as fully as he does theirs..... [smiley=baby.gif] also poor little Max may find all this a bit overwhelming, he IS after all just a Tot & should be able to enjoy all of his wonderful Grandparents, SO thank her SO MUCH for understanding (what as brick!) & for offering to uproot themselves during all their Christmas festivities, such a kind & unselfish jesture, but you really COULD NOT allow them to, it would be unfair all round, its YOUR Ma & Pas turn & you'll have a special second Christmas with them when you get home because you, Jane & poor little Max will feel so flat after all the festivities & he can have her all to himself & not have to share with another Granny..... :-* what date would suit them best by the way?? 

If you pull this off the only way she can refuse will show her up to be a completely selfish bitch in front of others which I'm guessing is not how she'd like to appear...... :wink: HOPEFULLY this should do the trick - if not, rip her head off & spit down her neck....... :?

GOOD LUCK!


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## J55TTC (Apr 25, 2005)

Thanks mrs coope, it might be worth a try however knowing what type of person she is I think I already know the response we are going to get. She is unfortunately very selfish and self centered.

Very nice reply and thanks for taking the time


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## mrs coope (Mar 24, 2007)

quote="J55TTC"]Thanks mrs coope, it might be worth a try however knowing what type of person she is I think I already know the response we are going to get. She is unfortunately very selfish and self centered.

Very nice reply and thanks for taking the time [/quote]

No worries, I just hope you find a way out of it that won't ruin crimbo for you Jane & Max....

Mothers & Mother-in-laws can be a sodding nightmare, poor old Coope's got two Mother-in-laws to contend with & I've made him promise that if I turn out like either of my Mothers (bet that's gottcha thinking :wink: ) he has my permission to shoot me!!


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## E (May 7, 2002)

I must be in the minority here, we go to in-laws each Christmas day and I actually enjoy it 

Havent spent Christmas day with my parents since I was 18 and they usually have their old friends around, although the numbers are dwindling with most of the them dieing off. My wife wouldnt do anything but spend Christmas day with her mum/dad.

Luckily, or unluckily :? both sets of parents are only about 30 mins away from us so we spend Christmas day at hers and Boxing day at mine, along with my 3 brothers and their families.

Each year I wind her up by saying we should go away at Christmas but there's no way she would be parted from her mum.

E


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## J55TTC (Apr 25, 2005)

Youre lucky E, by the sounds of it your in-laws are nice people to be around - mine arent unfortunately


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## Lisa. (May 7, 2002)

When you have a family of your own you should be able to spend it at home, on your own. 
Make a rule that you have decided to spend this day EVERY year with your wife and child/ren only.
Then you invite both sets of grand parents to yours for Boxing day ( get them to do the washing up) then go down to France with your parents the day after Boxing day for NY.

Simple 

Make the rule now Max is little and stick to it. Good luck


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## John C (Jul 5, 2002)

Yiekes, what a selfish cow!

The inviting herself is just the final straw, height of bad manners.

Look in the bright side, what are the chances that taking a contract out on her would be cheaper in France? :twisted:

Looking forward to the post the day after you finally get to say what you feel....best of luck!

Bon Noel


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## Molehall (Jan 8, 2003)

Option 1

Kill the in-law(s). You'll only serve a few years under the current regime.

Option 2

There are numerous organisations that arrange for lonely foreigners to stay with an English family over Xmas. These foreigners are usually well educated, polite and delightful company. You'll be doing a good deed (huge feel good factor) and, if you choose the right nationality (one that your in-laws dislike), you'll piss the in-laws off. Repeat as necessary.

Option 3

Food poisoning.

Option 4

Itching powder.

Option 5

Dog/cat sit a friend's dog/cat who's going away over Xmas. Works best if in-laws hate dogs/cats.

Option 6

Invite alcoholic friend to Xmas meal. Ply him/her with drink and encourage him/her to argue with in-laws. At worst you'll have to drive drunk friend home, which at least gets you out of the house.

Option 7

Carry out options 1-6 simultaneously.     

Good luck.


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## garyc (May 7, 2002)

Wondermikie said:


> J55TTC said:
> 
> 
> > Bitch you need to fuck off and leave me and my family alone!
> ...


...except she is actually part of your family (or vice versa). :wink:

We had both sets of folks over to our place last Xmas. It's much easier than mobilising kids -who generally want to be in their own homes come the festive season. It's prolly my dad's last one this year (The Big C), so it is important that he gets to see his grand daughter. Otherwise we would have a quiet one and fit the parents into our plans. It pays not to get into 'whose turn is it this year?' stuff, as it usually pleases noone.

Don't force your wife to split her loyalties and fall out with her about it. It seldom pays off long term, even tho her first loyaly should be to her spouse and child. You are putting her in a difficult position. Discuss and agree what you both really want to do this Xmas, factor in the folks _at some point_, then jointly tell them what you are going to do and why.

You could just go away. However, I'd rather entertain your mother in law than go to Euro Disney for Xmas. [smiley=bigcry.gif]

Let's just hope your wife or MIL does not read this forum. [smiley=gossip.gif]


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## J55TTC (Apr 25, 2005)

Ha Ha there is a god!

My inlaws are South African and applying for citizenship through their ancestry. Just found out that their visas expire on the 23rd December :lol: :lol: fucking :lol:

My Father in law who I get on with very well has told us (in front of loony tunes) that there is no way hes paying for visas again for such a small period of time.

What a result! I am sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo happy!


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## mighTy Tee (Jul 10, 2002)

And you Christmas present from the out-laws?

>

>

>

>

>

>
2 Adult and 1 Child tickets to Cape Town/Jo'burg so you can enjoy some winter sun :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


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## J55TTC (Apr 25, 2005)

mighTy Tee said:


> And you Christmas present from the out-laws?
> 
> >
> 
> ...


 :lol:    :x :evil:


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## KammyTT (Jun 28, 2006)

oh god, i have all this to look forward to, i have to visit both parent each year and there is always a carry on...

who do i visit first....... which house do i have lunch at..... i so cant be assed this year.

thanks for reminding me so early in the year [smiley=argue.gif] :roll:


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## stef030 (Aug 3, 2008)

now call me old mister silly but

I wish our kids would leave us the fuck alone at crimbo
dont get me wrong we love them to death and would do anything for them

but when one is 26 and married and the other is 28,and they still want to come and

fuck up our day when all we want to do is to chill eat food have a relaxed time
they need to wake the fuck up and smell the coffee
every year its the same,she doesnt like this or that,the other one is on planet fuckin pluto
what time do you want us round they say how about 2012 I say,
hoping they take the hint,and all they say is dad your so funny
then continues with this year we will wash up,
they wouldnt know the sink even if it was force fed to them anally
even when we have said your mum and I might go away this year,
they say that sounds like a fab idea,WE COULD ALL GO AND HAVE A FAMILY HOLIDAY FOR CHRISTMAS

OH JOY OF JOY
still we can live in hope

bah humbug
stef


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## Molehall (Jan 8, 2003)

stef030 said:


> now call me old mister silly but
> 
> I wish our kids would leave us the fuck alone at crimbo
> dont get me wrong we love them to death and would do anything for them
> ...


Quite so and my sentiments entirely.

However I must point out that Pluto has recently been taken off the list of planets for being too small. So I'm not sure where your children are, but it's certainly not on the planet Pluto. :wink: :wink: :wink: :wink:

Maybe you should commission a search party to find out where they really are? :roll: :roll: :roll:


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## stef030 (Aug 3, 2008)

what and spend even more money [smiley=bigcry.gif] 
bloody nora
they cost enough as is :x

I am losing the will to live ffs
am just asking the wife to break out the electical testicular clamps

hurry up dear,am slipping away [smiley=argue.gif]


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