# The Forum Story



## GRANNY (Jun 18, 2002)

Anybody fancy a bit of Christmas nonsense.In the form of a Round Robin style story.
I shall start, then somebody else adds a bit to carry on from me. Do you get my drift.
Here we go. Ps spelling or lack of is ok.

Â Once apon a Christmas Eve there were two children called, Rupert & Clarissa.They were safely tucked up in there little beds when......


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## bec21tt (Feb 27, 2003)

..........there was a bang...........


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## fastasflip (May 13, 2003)

and a large cloud of smoke appeared from under the front door [smiley=fireman.gif]


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## GRANNY (Jun 18, 2002)

"WTF" was that said Rupert.
" Shame on you" said Clarrisa, Santa wont come to naughty boys.......


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## bec21tt (Feb 27, 2003)

..only to good girls. 
To which Rupert replied "but............


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## ColDiTT (Sep 6, 2003)

sorry for swearing but what was that?.....


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## Dr_Parmar (May 10, 2002)

"sounded like a friggin BOMB!" :


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## bec21tt (Feb 27, 2003)

No, it was just.......


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## GRANNY (Jun 18, 2002)

....I think it could be a one eyed Monster, will you......


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## ColDiTT (Sep 6, 2003)

I dunno would you......


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## bec21tt (Feb 27, 2003)

.......go and check?


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## ColDiTT (Sep 6, 2003)

Did it come from the front or back door


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## GRANNY (Jun 18, 2002)

...What if it...


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## ColDiTT (Sep 6, 2003)

Granny


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## GRANNY (Jun 18, 2002)

Its in the wardrobe...


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## Guest (Dec 21, 2003)

getting ready to....


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## saint (Dec 6, 2002)

Choke that old chicken


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## Guest (Dec 21, 2003)

The chicken wasn't impressed, he thought it was only Turkeys that choked it at this time of year. Stuff that he said, I'm.......


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## ColDiTT (Sep 6, 2003)

off to find a mirror and......


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## jam (May 8, 2002)

do a line


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## Guest (Dec 21, 2003)

but he had used all the coke and pepsi just isn't the same, so he....


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## 55JWB (May 7, 2002)

decided to go online and......


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## David_A (May 7, 2002)

try and buy some from tesco.com . . . when there was another bang


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## John C (Jul 5, 2002)

There it was again, don't speak in initials this time, just say...........


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## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

'Don't go to Tesco for your Turkey ...any cock will a dood aloo' and then he poked ....


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## Guest (Dec 22, 2003)

His finger...


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## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

In the gibleys ...


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## Guest (Dec 22, 2003)

Yuck, he said, that feels offal, I much prefer stuffing. I had better.....


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## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

hop to the allotment for some ...


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## pgm (May 7, 2002)

brussel sprouts


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## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

To rub the temples with and then...


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## Guest (Dec 22, 2003)

he felt much better, so he tried...


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## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

using them as stress balls...


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## Guest (Dec 22, 2003)

But they were much to hard, so he put the in some water and boiled them until...


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## GRANNY (Jun 18, 2002)

...Were nice and soft.


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## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

wet n warm ...


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## Guest (Dec 22, 2003)

and very tasty. He put


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## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

an astro belt down his stocking ...


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## Guest (Dec 22, 2003)

the pair he wore when his wife was out. I'll try them on with....


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## Dr_Parmar (May 10, 2002)

with a garter belt and a....


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## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

My turkey baster in one hand : ;D


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## Guest (Dec 22, 2003)

and a playgirl mag in the other.......


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## pgm (May 7, 2002)

and bast the turkey!


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## Guest (Dec 22, 2003)

with oil


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## David_A (May 7, 2002)

Then Vlastan appeared . . .

(this could really upset the story and the Turkey!)


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## bec21tt (Feb 27, 2003)

..with a smirk on his face. He'd just......


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## head_ed (Dec 10, 2002)

come back from holiday in...


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## John C (Jul 5, 2002)

....the 7th planet in the solar system.... Â


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## 55JWB (May 7, 2002)

WE HE HE!! ITS..... ME!!!!


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## Guest (Dec 22, 2003)

The one eyed perv monster and I'm going to....


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## Sim (Mar 7, 2003)

give that turkey a good plucking and then...


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## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

stuff it's rear with a good porking of stuffing, but then all of a sudden....


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## bec21tt (Feb 27, 2003)

the door opened and in walked.....


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## Guest (Dec 22, 2003)

Jamie Oliver


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## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

who picked his nose ...


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## Guest (Dec 22, 2003)

and wiped it all over the turkey. Now it's time for roasting he said I'll put it .......


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## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

under my bottom for a good tasty sauce before I...


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## KevinST (May 6, 2002)

decide that it's too nice to ...


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## Guest (Dec 22, 2003)

eat, so I'll call it Trevor and take for a walk down....


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## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

memory lane ...


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## bec21tt (Feb 27, 2003)

to see if I can find my.....


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## KevinST (May 6, 2002)

coat


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## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

my DSG somewhere along with my....


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## David_A (May 7, 2002)

sanity, when suddenly I realised I was in a BMW showroom !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! . . .


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## bec21tt (Feb 27, 2003)

I ran out soooo fast, I lost the tread on my......


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## Guest (Dec 22, 2003)

knickers, they fall to the floor with a .......


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## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

shoes, which caught up with my trouser bottoms and then the sales lady said ...


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## bec21tt (Feb 27, 2003)

You've lost your knickers 
Do you think you could.....


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## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

get some de-icer for that man please ...


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## Guest (Dec 22, 2003)

Why would a TT owner want to be seen in a BMW showroom are you blind women. Picking her knickers up she ran out of the showroom and off up towards


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## John C (Jul 5, 2002)

the Audi Dealer - the sales man rushed up and said Thank God you are here! We have just seen our 2004 Sales targets and..........


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## bec21tt (Feb 27, 2003)

We need you to buy a V6! But you must first prove to me that you can........


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## David_A (May 7, 2002)

Change gears without using your hands . . .


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## saint (Dec 6, 2002)

I wonder if we can Bullsh*t the order books like Audi have bullsh*itted the customers in 2003 over the V6........


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## bec21tt (Feb 27, 2003)

but using your.............


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## John C (Jul 5, 2002)

.........paddles means that..........


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## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

toes...


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## David_A (May 7, 2002)

initative


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## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

and armpits...


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## John C (Jul 5, 2002)

....or any other part of your body........


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## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

are a salesmans ..


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## saint (Dec 6, 2002)

...Devil Offspring....


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## Guest (Dec 22, 2003)

I know I'll tie my knicker elastic around the knob and....


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## bec21tt (Feb 27, 2003)

Play a festive tune!


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## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

Audi Dealer proprietor...


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## nutts (May 8, 2002)

As she turned to the dealer he said "something smells very fishy..."


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## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

and before her eyes he had...


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## bec21tt (Feb 27, 2003)

And then she remembered she hadn't changed her......


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## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

husbands, best friend's, brother in laws wife's best friend's, daughter who was the sister of ...


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## Guest (Dec 22, 2003)

The Queen


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## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

which struck a fantastic deal so then....


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## Guest (Dec 22, 2003)

they got on the number 17 bus which took them .....


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## nutts (May 8, 2002)

halfway to the moon. Suddenly there was a huge flash of light and


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## John C (Jul 5, 2002)

there in Avus Silver stood a..........


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## nutts (May 8, 2002)

naked lady TT owner... the paint glistening on her smooth skin. A gasp escaped from



> there in Avus Silver stood a..........


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## David_A (May 7, 2002)

from her, then she gasped . . .


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## nutts (May 8, 2002)

and smiled as a Raven black


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## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

Nutts' knob and shaft appeared : , she was one happy gawl and so she gently....


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## Sim (Mar 7, 2003)

Pulled down her thread bare knickers and


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## ColDiTT (Sep 6, 2003)

there were the three wise men listening to


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## GRANNY (Jun 18, 2002)

Rupert and Clarissa who were both hysterical with fear at the sight of...


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## David_A (May 7, 2002)

Otter, but on closer inspection it was really a . . .


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## GRANNY (Jun 18, 2002)

Ewok.
Who said hold my paw and we will go for a fly around...


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## 55JWB (May 7, 2002)

Until "HE" gets here.....


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## GRANNY (Jun 18, 2002)

Clarissa clung to Rupert in fear, You dont mean, HIM do you.
What can we do Rupert she screamed......


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## David_A (May 7, 2002)

Lets do the Ewok said rupert, I've still got the Turkey baster . . .


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## Guest (Dec 22, 2003)

Where would you like it....


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## 55JWB (May 7, 2002)

Downstairs this time...


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## saint (Dec 6, 2002)

Ian, Dot, Sharon, Den & Alfie were having a party....


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## John C (Jul 5, 2002)

No I don't want to go down again! Suddenly.......


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## saint (Dec 6, 2002)

up popped Avid.................. thankyou please...


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## 55JWB (May 7, 2002)

Arfur came back from the dead !!


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## Guest (Dec 22, 2003)

only he had lost his head and


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## John C (Jul 5, 2002)

........the one on his shoulders too, anyway Arthur said.......


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## saint (Dec 6, 2002)

....Tel we got any dodgy motas to shift?


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## John C (Jul 5, 2002)

Gowden Bennet Arfur, ye mast be ooaf ya ed, anyway whats appen ovr in tha Queen Vic?............


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## GRANNY (Jun 18, 2002)

DUM DUM... DUM DUM DUM( drums)


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## Guest (Dec 22, 2003)

His stick flew out of his hand and hit poor....


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## John C (Jul 5, 2002)

people - which in the grand scheme of things doesn't really matter so they...........


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## nutts (May 8, 2002)

hit poor people again. Blood...


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## Guest (Dec 23, 2003)

y hell that hurt, you


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## nutts (May 8, 2002)

're not a nice person. Come here and


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## Guest (Dec 23, 2003)

take it like a man, or are you a mouse


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## David_A (May 7, 2002)

Wasss up replied Mickey . . . then all of a sudden BANG


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## GRANNY (Jun 18, 2002)

The door flew open.
It was HIM........


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## Guest (Dec 23, 2003)

who, I hear you ask


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## GRANNY (Jun 18, 2002)

I just told you.
HIM......


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## Guest (Dec 23, 2003)

Not HIM, what the hell does he want


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## GRANNY (Jun 18, 2002)

I dont know Yet.


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## David_A (May 7, 2002)

Hold on Mickey shouted - I'm asking Jeeves what HE wants. . . . then HE got it. . .


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## Guest (Dec 23, 2003)

Can you give us a clue


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## GRANNY (Jun 18, 2002)

No its a secret.......


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## Guest (Dec 23, 2003)

Oh my God, It's round Robin isn't it he's


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## GRANNY (Jun 18, 2002)

Dead


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## Guest (Dec 23, 2003)

handy in the bedroom


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## John C (Jul 5, 2002)

department of Ikea?


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## nutts (May 8, 2002)

No, bedroom sock darning skills... Just then he jumped out if his


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## GRANNY (Jun 18, 2002)

He likes hiding in the Wardrobes then he can...


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## Guest (Dec 23, 2003)

jump out when she's not looking


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## GRANNY (Jun 18, 2002)

And give her.


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## Sim (Mar 7, 2003)

and surprise everyone with his massive...


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## Guest (Dec 23, 2003)

I'm I in the flame room he said before opening his mouth


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## GRANNY (Jun 18, 2002)

Cock and bull tales of......


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## Sim (Mar 7, 2003)

His member...


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## Guest (Dec 23, 2003)

which, by this time, getting bigger


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## GRANNY (Jun 18, 2002)

Of Parliment


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## Guest (Dec 23, 2003)

Tony was a right member


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## nutts (May 8, 2002)

of the ********


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## Sim (Mar 7, 2003)

and his very large post count.


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## Guest (Dec 23, 2003)

as only the best people are


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## Guest (Dec 23, 2003)

made him such a popular man


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## Sim (Mar 7, 2003)

Pink Shirted drivers


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## Guest (Dec 23, 2003)

and hairdressers


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## GRANNY (Jun 18, 2002)

But he was hiding a shocking secret, he was a ....


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## saint (Dec 6, 2002)

Closet gay.....


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## Sim (Mar 7, 2003)

So with their collective talents they begin to..


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## GRANNY (Jun 18, 2002)

Ahhh was that why he lived in a Wardrobe.


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## saint (Dec 6, 2002)

Along with the Lion & the Witch


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## Guest (Dec 23, 2003)

Which witch was that


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## GRANNY (Jun 18, 2002)

The bad child eating witch


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## Sim (Mar 7, 2003)

The Blair one who...


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## GRANNY (Jun 18, 2002)

Frightened Rupert and Clarissa to death


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## Guest (Dec 23, 2003)

Quick somebody give them CRP


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## Guest (Dec 23, 2003)

If that doesn't work try CPR


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## GRANNY (Jun 18, 2002)

Charging at 200.
Stand clear.
Thud


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## Guest (Dec 23, 2003)

Is that 200 each or buy one get one free


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## GRANNY (Jun 18, 2002)

BOG OFF to you aswell


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## Guest (Dec 23, 2003)

That's better I needed that


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## saint (Dec 6, 2002)

............... like a hole in the head........


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