# Norfolk



## head_ed (Dec 10, 2002)

Dear Norfolk, you are shit.

Not only are you a four and a half hour drive from my office, you are flat, uninteresting, populated by morons with less personality than Jade Goody and your seafront is generally unappealing.

I have just spent the last 48 hours trying to make Kings Lynne look nice & this is an open letter to all the frightful people I have had the misfortune of running into on my trip.

From the sullen bitch on the reception of the hotel, to the unhelpful tart of the pub that we called into - death will be a blessed relief, walk towards the light quickly - trust me.

A special mention to the waiter who told us last night that breakfast was served from 7am, well when we got there at 7.30am this morning the place was locked up with a sign saying 'Open from 8am'. I will be writing an email to get back the Â£22.50 we paid in advance for the breakfast that we couldn't eat as we had to be on the road by 8 - *fuckwit*

Also to the guy in the chavved up Saxo who thought that 100 yards was enough room to overtake the artic on the 2 lane A road, well trust me our Shogun would have made you look even uglier than your spotty face already fucking does! A head on between the 2 vehicles would have ended up with me spreading you all over the road.

Then my Merc driver who also failed to miss the big black Mitsubishi 4x4 on the roundabout & pulled out on me. You sir displayed 1st class shit driving skills & were I not in a hurry to get out of your god forsaken county I would have stoppped and you would now be trying to remove a boom mic from your arse.

In fairness to you both, if I had to live in such a fucking dreary place I would be trying to kill myself at every opportunity too. I can only hope that when you succeed (which both of you no doubt will if you carry on with that standard of driving), you do not injure some poor helpless tourist who turned right at Northampton by mistake.

My trusty Tom Tom gave up the will to live 5 miles outside Kings Lynne & after 3 years is now in it's own 'special place' refusing to get past the opening screen. I know just how it feels.. I mean, which self respecting county has NO motorways???? There was a huge sign proclaiming 'Bypass completed 3 months early' - yeah, only cos the contractors wanted to get the fuck out of dodge!

What is worse, because the weather was so shit I have to go back next weekend and do it all over again!!

Norfolk. Shit.


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## R70 TTC (Nov 30, 2006)

That's the best description I have even seen of Norfolk. You should send that to the tourist board as it may encourage a few people to go and stare.


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## vlastan (May 6, 2002)

So you went to King's Lynn and you are an expert of the whole of the county now? :roll:

Bad drivers are NOT only located i Norfolk. The same applies to incompetent hotel employees.

Enjoy the drive next weekend!!


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## Leg (Jan 11, 2006)

A great flame but with all due respect mate, next time dont just copy, edit and paste from the Norfolk Tourist Board's website eh...


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## steveh (Jan 14, 2004)

Brilliant :lol: :lol: :lol:


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## coupe-sport (May 7, 2002)

Kings Lynn is a bit crap. Apart from that its a great place. Nice people, nice roads and lovely scenery and my folks retired there.

I'd take it over Wales any day (and i'm Welsh)

James


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## R70 TTC (Nov 30, 2006)

Leg said:


> A great flame but with all due respect mate, next time dont just copy, edit and paste from the Norfolk Tourist Board's website eh...


Absolutely brilliant. In my top five of best posts ever :lol: :lol: :lol:


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## Wallsendmag (Feb 12, 2004)

Isn't that where people from Blyth go to for their holidays ?


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## Guest (May 26, 2007)

Norfolk.

Burn it.

And if anyone from norfolk on here has taken offence to that comment, i'm sorry.

But i truly mean it.


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## Ashtray_Girl (Nov 27, 2006)

Ha Ha! Best post so far! Looking forward to the review after your second visit! No doubt it will be fun and games....!


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## digimeisTTer (Apr 27, 2004)

:lol: :lol:

Leg you're my hero


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## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

Most who live there think they are country bumpkins. Cheap property mind you. :roll:


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## Guest (May 26, 2007)

Dotti said:


> Most who live there think they are country bumpkins. Cheap property mind you. :roll:


Can you say wattle and daub?


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## NaughTTy (Jul 9, 2003)

Comment on Have I got news for you last night...."There are now so many cars in Norfolk, people have stopped pointing at them" :lol: :lol:

Superb flame Mart, and Leg - you're a very naughty boy :roll: :lol:


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## Guest (May 26, 2007)

NaughTTy said:


> Comment on Have I got news for you last night...."There are now so many cars in Norfolk, people have stopped pointing at them" :lol: :lol:
> 
> Superb flame Mart, and Leg - you're a very naughty boy :roll: :lol:


 :lol: :lol: :lol:


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## TTCool (Feb 7, 2005)

head_ed said:


> What is worse, because the weather was so shit I have to go back next weekend and do it all over again!!
> 
> Norfolk. Shit.


We'll be waiting for you :lol: :lol: :twisted:


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## Guest (May 26, 2007)

Fuck it head-ed, stay in wales. They've got the whicker man for you.


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## scott28tt (Jul 30, 2002)

This flame was bloody funny on it's own, then along came Leg :lol:

Classic


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## John C (Jul 5, 2002)

Great flame! :lol: :lol: :lol:


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## Widget (May 7, 2002)

I'll certainly give you credit for being brave enough to go to Kings Lynn. And then return!!!!


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## TTonyTT (Apr 24, 2006)

head_ed said:


> Dear Norfolk, you are shit.


Now, I might have got this wrong, but ...

1. Your location is "Wales".
2. There are lots of sheep in Wales, and very very few in Norfolk.
3. We ALL know about the Welsh and their sheep.

Are you sure that you weren't just missing your woolly home comforts while you were abroad??


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## Private Prozac (Jul 7, 2003)

Congratulations Taffy and Leg. What a fucking double act.

Nearly shot my load I was laughing so much!!

The County's flat and so are the fucking women ...


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## jampott (Sep 6, 2003)

I think it was Stephen Fry who once told a good tale, and I think he's from there.

Apparently, doctors in Norfolk are well known for writing "NFN" on the notes of the lower intellect patients (ie most of them) in the region's hospitals.

NFN? Normal for Norfolk.

Although I also heard that, in some parts of Norfolk, the insult is "Normal for Wisbech"


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## thejepster (Mar 29, 2005)

Ah Norfolk.... lowest divorce rates in the UK apparently. They say it's difficult to divorce your sister :roll: :wink:


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