# To the 4 women...



## head_ed (Dec 10, 2002)

drivers that have nearly caused major pileups in the last 48 hours, I would like to say the following.

Driver number 1, the stupid fucking bint driving a 52 Plate Polo yesterday afternoon. I was driving to a meeting & was on a single carriageway by-pass, about 100 metres behind me I saw a Police riot van speeding up giving it lights and sirens. I indicate in, as do the 4 other cars behind me - apart the retard directly behind who me decides that I have obviously stopped for no reason, indicates to pull around me & without looking pulls out right into the path of the Police van, forcing it onto the verge ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE ROAD. In her defence, the enormous white van with it's camouflage of neon yellow and orange strips, blue strobes and mega decibel siren must have been quite difficult to miss. IF YOU'RE TOO BUSY TALKING ABOUT EASTENDERS, YOUR BOYFRIEND, YOUR NAILS or whatever else you were to keep you from concentrating on your driving. I hope that the copper driving took your plate details & you get a summons in the post you complete twunt.

Driver number 2, who was upscale and driving a SMART roadster along the M4 not 5 miles from where A-hole number 1 was 'driving'. The M4 near me is a blackspot for accidents & has a speed limit of 50mph for a 5 miles stretch, they're doing lots of work at the moment installing concrete barriers, so they have coned off the inside lane. Little Ms Shit Driver is doing about 30 mph in the inside lane as I pull onto the motorway, I pull out into the middle lane as I can see the road layout has changed, then realise as I approach the cones that the woman is still in the inside lane so I pull out to the outside lane to let her come out. As I draw along side her she obviously finished putting her makeup on as she suddenly swerved out of the inside lane so violently she almost sideswiped me in the outside lane, missing the cones by a matter of metres. I can forgive her though, as the nasty highways agency used those near invisible bright orange 3 feet high cones, with the light absorbing silver reflectors on them - they are very very difficult to see & as they had only put signs out for at least 1000 metres warning of the hazard ahead, her stupid fucking brain obviously didn't have time to compute what the pretty pictures meant. WELL DONE YOU STUPID BITCH, you nearly added us to the statistic.

Driver number 3, the lovely middle-aged woman who pulled out of a side street without looking to her right this morning. I am sure you weren't aware of it, but the nasty loud noise just after you turned out onto the main street was my horn; I sounded it just for you. She sat at the traffic lights just up from the junction with no clue that she'd nearly died after a TT had piled into her driver's door. HELLO.. HELLO? LOOK AT JUNCTIONS YOU MAD OLD BAT, or next time I will get out of my car & shove that nice shiny fish you display on your boot RIGHT UP YOUR ARSE!!!!

Driver number 4, the youngster in a KA - I am not sure if you have passed your test or not but those big circular things you encounter from time to time are called ROUNDABOUTS. Now, please excuse me if you know this already, but when cars are coming around the roundabout from the right, you really should let the drive past before pulling out on them. What you shouldn't do is make eye contact, then decide that this is enough to allow you to pull out & try and manufacture at KATT. You really are lucky that I have good brakes, otherwise you would have had to have been cut out of that Cappa trakky on the way to the morgue.

Just so happened to have been 4 women, could easily have been blokes & usually I just let bad driving wash over me (nobody is perfect, right?), but these 4 were downright dangerous - to themselves & others - more importantly to me. I think what pissed me off the most was the fact that after each incident, when I looked, they hadn't even bothered breaking breath from talking to their passengers. I honestly don't think they know how close they'd come to causing a major pileup.

None of you should be driving - silly bints.


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## Dash (Oct 5, 2008)

:lol: excellent rant!

They say there are too many CCTV cameras around, I reckon they should add more. Stick one in every car with a big button which e-mails the last 30 seconds of footage to the Police.

Although you know we'd all get multiple submissions for doing things like overtaking the crazy fool who was doing 30 in a 60 (nice open roads I hasten to add) that I encountered tonight. That said, Mini Cooper's are slow and difficult to handle...


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## Tim G (Feb 16, 2005)

Nice Rant... You spell Cappa with a K though :lol: :wink: I'll get my coat


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## Guest (May 29, 2009)

Loved it


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## head_ed (Dec 10, 2002)

Tim G said:


> Nice Rant... You spell Cappa with a K though :lol: :wink: I'll get my coat


You can tell I am a huge fan of the company then


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## sporTTyminx (Mar 5, 2009)

Thoroughly enjoyed reading that and i can empathise with you. It really is quite disturbing the amount of people that make ridiculous moves and then seem totally oblivious to the fact that they almost created carnage.

I was driving home one night where 2 lanes coming from different roads join up to make a dual carriage way. (Does that make sense?) I was in the outside lane and the traffic joining in the other lane was quite heavy with a cyclist trundling along in it. The driver (a woman i hasten to add) slowed down behind the cyclist, and me being a curteous driver in the outside lane hung back so she could pull out slightly to overtake the cyclist. I hung back, she indicates, i hang back and she just sits there. F*ck it i think, silly cow, and i sped up to just drive past. As the tip of my car was level with her door she pulled out. I mean FFS. I blared on the horn and the silly tart just sort of gaped at me and carried on pulling out. Like you said, good job i have good brakes. Once i caught her eye in her rear view mirror i did that tut tut shaking head thing but what i really wanted to do was get out and scream at her.

Women eh?!


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## jammyd (Oct 11, 2008)

I think we should have awards for post of the month!!!!!

Thank you, you made me smile!


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## skiwhiz (Feb 17, 2008)

great post especially whilst sitting in the garden stress free 25c with a cold drink,  you have used up 4 lives now what next :wink:


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## JNmercury00 (May 22, 2007)

great rant

love it, love it!!


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## Gone (May 5, 2009)

Don't tell me I can post stuff like that on here, they'll have to open a new flame room just for me! If you want to see some really crap driving, come to Slough.

Glad you got through that day in one piece though!


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## jammyd (Oct 11, 2008)

badyaker said:


> Don't tell me I can post stuff like that on here, they'll have to open a new flame room just for me! If you want to see some really crap driving, come to Slough.
> 
> Glad you got through that day in one piece though!


Post away mate, post away. Living in Slough I guess you have a lot to tell in the flame room!


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## A3DFU (May 7, 2002)

Enjoyed your post, Mart, while thinking: must be the weather :roll:


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## SaintScoTT (Jun 27, 2008)

hahhahahahahaha awesome


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## Bikerz (Aug 23, 2008)

and you wonder why motorcyclists HATE car drivers, if you cant see any of these things how do we stand a chance even with headlights a dn full blow race systems :roll:


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## y3putt (Mar 29, 2008)

What a great read...

I agree..there are definately some idiots out there that don't even know the hassle and problems they cause..

Truth beknown..if you pulled them over and spoke to them..Everyone Else is an idiot ..and they are the perfect driver!!

Just as well you were aware of what was going on..because otherwise ..one idiot meeting another idiot = Accident..

Great Post..


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## rustyintegrale (Oct 1, 2006)

A bad hair day Mart? :lol:


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## sstubbs12 (Jun 9, 2009)

absolutely amazing rant you go some.


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## W7 PMC (May 6, 2002)

Mart, sorry to hear about your encounters, however onto the important fact as to whether any of those ladies had nice bangers


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## A3DFU (May 7, 2002)

Hello [smiley=mexicanwave.gif] How are you doing Paul  Long time no hear/see!
I hope life is treating you well  
Oh, and in case you don't know: I shall be Granny II next week 8)


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## head_ed (Dec 10, 2002)

None of those did mate, but the woman who stopped her Merc on a dedicated slip road off the M4 nearly causing a multiple pileup behind her, before deciding to pull across 2 lanes, a wide cross-hatched divider then changing her mind and swerving back in to her original lane, did.

But as I have found out in the past, it doesn't matter how nice a woman's boobs are - she can still be a stupid twat. :roll:


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## A3DFU (May 7, 2002)

:roll: tut-tut :roll:


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