# Robert Burns ode - "To a Fart"



## phope (Mar 26, 2006)

Seeing as it is Burns Night tonight...a wee ode to farting

Oh, what a sleekit horrible beastie
Lurks in yer belly, after the feastie
Just as ye sit down amongst yer kin
There sterts to stir an enormous wind

The neeps and tatties and mushy peas
Stert workin' like a gentle breeze
But soon the puddin' wi a sauncie face
Will have ye blawin' all ower the place

Nae matter whit ye try tae dae
A'bodys gonna have tae pay
Even if ye try to stifle
It's like a bullet oot a rifle

Haud yer bum close tae the chair
Tae try to stop the leakin' air
Shift yersel frae cheek tae cheek
Pray tae God it disnae reek

But all yer efforts gan assunder
Oot it comes...a clap o' thunder
Ricochets aroon the room
Michty me...a sonic boom!

God almight, it fairly reeks
Hope I huvnae shit ma breeks
Tae the loo I better scurry
Aw, who cares...it's nae my worry

A'body aroon me gaspin' and chokin'
One or two are nearly bokin'
I'll feel better for a while
Cannae help but raise a smile

"It wis him", I shout with accusin' glower
Alas too late...he's jist keeled ower!
"Ye dirty thing" they shout and stare
I dinnae feel welcome here any mair

Where ere ye go, let yer wind gang free
Sounds like jist the job for me
Whit a fuss at Rabbie's party
Ower the sake o' one wee farty!!


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## CHADTT (Jun 20, 2007)

I was blown away with that one!! :roll: :lol: :lol: :roll:


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## jammyd (Oct 11, 2008)

CHADTT said:


> I was blown away with that one!! :roll: :lol: :lol: :roll:


My thoughts exactly! :lol:


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## rogerman (Mar 7, 2006)

Gawd, that joke really stinks. Excellent!


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