# Australia



## TTotal (Aug 12, 2002)

These questions about Australia are from potential visitors. They were
posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual
responses by the website officials.
Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on
TV,so how do the plants grow? (UK)

A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching
them die.

Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)>
A: Depends how much you've been drinking

Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad
tracks?( Sweden)

A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden)

A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a
list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia?
USA)

A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.
Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the pacific which does
not... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in
Kings Cross. Come naked.

Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)

A: Face south and then turn 90 degrees. Contact us when you get here &
we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)

A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)

A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which
is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday
night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? (UK)

A: You are a British politician, right?

Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney & is milk available all year
round? (Germany)

A: No, we are a peaceful civilisation of vegan hunter gatherers. Milk is illegal.

Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense
rattlesnake serum. (USA)

A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All
Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and
make good pets.

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget
its
name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)

A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out
of gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.


----------



## Guest (Nov 10, 2004)

:lol: Very good


----------



## Pammy (Nov 10, 2003)

lol - very good indeed :lol:


----------



## himpe (Jun 11, 2002)

> Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
> A: Face south and then turn 90 degrees.


Nice, but whoever answered those questions wasn't that good in math :roll:


----------



## Guy (May 13, 2002)

himpe said:


> > Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
> > A: Face south and then turn 90 degrees.
> 
> 
> Nice, but whoever answered those questions wasn't that good in math :roll:


Didn't the folowing sentence read: "Contact us when you get here & 
we'll send the rest of the directions. " :lol:


----------



## TTotal (Aug 12, 2002)

Guy..steady mate...Himpe's from Belgium :wink:


----------



## Guy (May 13, 2002)

Now I understand.  
I thought he must have been a mathematician or engineer. :?


----------

