# Toilet seats



## coupe-sport (May 7, 2002)

How the fuck do people manage to piss all over them - if you cant aim properly you sad cunt then fucking clean it up after...

disgusting


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## SaulTTR (Apr 30, 2003)

> then fucking clean it up after


Well said, filthy bastards[smiley=thumbsdown.gif]


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## Dont I Recognise You (Oct 10, 2003)

yep 

(waiting for someone to say 'and put the lid down afterwards'....... )


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## ttimp (Jul 9, 2003)

> yep Â
> 
> (waiting for someone to say 'and put the lid down afterwards'....... )


Maybe if someone had properly left the lid and seat up in the first place it wouldn't have got pissed upon eh?


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## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

Well at least you lot can stand hit IQ and look at the piss on the seat ;D. Us girls don't have any choice other than to walk back out the bog, hold it, or find a tree and squat ;D ewwwwww I can't believe I just said that last bit LOL  ;D.


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## DXN (May 18, 2002)

Gives you good strong thighs all that squatting Abi


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## jonhaff (May 20, 2002)

funny this happened in our toliet today, what bloody guy cant soddin aim, or even put the seat up first ... disgusting......

as for the lid up / down issue it cant be any fairer now.... guys have to lift it up and girls pu it down.
why should guys do both? You want equal rights then this is fair?


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## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

Would you really want your bear hands touching this LOL ;D. It is sooooo gross ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww : 

http://www.craphound.com/images/torcon0 ... age22.html


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## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

I am thinking of buying this little number for one of my household bogs  to mark my 'terrotory' so to speak  as I have three males around me ;D

http://www.diynot.com/shop/Janitorial/W ... _SIGN/4918

;D ;D ;D


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## Dont I Recognise You (Oct 10, 2003)

> Would you really want your bear hands touching this LOL Â ;D. Â It is sooooo gross ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Â :
> 
> http://www.craphound.com/images/torcon0 ... age22.html


I just *know* I don't want to click that link...... [smiley=sick2.gif]


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## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

LOL ;D


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## ronin (Sep 6, 2003)

> Would you really want your bear hands touching this LOL Â ;D. Â It is sooooo gross ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Â :
> 
> http://www.craphound.com/images/torcon0 ... age22.html


i WAS eating at the time - one binned wrap now !


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## ttimp (Jul 9, 2003)

> funny this happened in our toliet today, what bloody guy cant soddin aim, or even put the seat up first ... disgusting......


far worse is when the floor surrounding the bog is awash with, errm, liquid (OK, piss), are you expected to allow your trews to dangle in the puddle should you need a dump??


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## Guy (May 13, 2002)

> Posted by: ^Abi^ Posted on: Today at 1:02pm
> Would you really want your bear hands touching this LOL Â . Â It is sooooo gross ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Â Â
> 
> http://www.craphound.com/images/torcon0 ... age22.html


I would object to my bare hands touching this but,

I'm not really bothered about the hands belonging to the bear. Â Woolly Grrr! Â


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## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

[smiley=toilet.gif] [smiley=toilet.gif] [smiley=toilet.gif] [smiley=toilet.gif] [smiley=toilet.gif] [smiley=toilet.gif] [smiley=toilet.gif] [smiley=toilet.gif] [smiley=toilet.gif] [smiley=toilet.gif] [smiley=toilet.gif] [smiley=toilet.gif] [smiley=toilet.gif]..........

Just looking at some of you guys replies ;D.....hilarious 

I bet your all going to stand at the edge of the loo and be ultra careful now to not miss IQ and I bet if a single drop goes on edge, the first word you will all say will be oh **** 

I have one thing to say to you lot ;D 'Happy concentration on your peeing session' LOL *chuckles* . Oh I would love to be a fly on the wall .

Second thoughts no I wouldn't .... [smiley=stop.gif]


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## phil (May 7, 2002)

It's easier just to piss in the bath


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## ttimp (Jul 9, 2003)

> It's easier just to piss in the bath


Ahh the joys of a shower

(not golden)


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## Guest (Dec 3, 2003)

> How the fuck do people manage to piss all over them - if you cant aim properly you sad cunt then fucking clean it up after...
> 
> disgusting Â


If that's not bad enough 

[smiley=stop.gif] If your eating don't read any further.

For the turd,I mean third, time this week some dity bitch has emptied her bowels and left skid marks in the bottom of the pan. Disgusting[smiley=behead.gif] and then she should have her nose rubbed in it.


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## Dont I Recognise You (Oct 10, 2003)

eeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwww!

er. Thank you for sharing that.....


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## Guest (Dec 3, 2003)

> eeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwww!
> 
> er. Â Thank you for sharing that.....


You're welcome :-*


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## Dont I Recognise You (Oct 10, 2003)

at least there were no pictures. :-/

I mean - there aren't any pictures - are there!? [smiley=toilet.gif] [smiley=sick2.gif]


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## Dont I Recognise You (Oct 10, 2003)




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## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

> For the turd,I mean third, time this week some dity bitch has emptied her bowels and left skid marks in the bottom of the pan. Disgusting[smiley=behead.gif] and then she should have her nose rubbed in it.


That is just so gross :.


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## Kell (May 28, 2002)

I do have my digi camara in work today - perhaps I should take it with me when I go to the loo to see if there's anything in there worth photographing.

Wish I had it that time someone had stuffed a full toilet roll into the toilet and THEN taken a dump on top of it.

What exactly did you hope to achieve with that?


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## Guest (Dec 3, 2003)

> at least there were no pictures. :-/
> 
> I mean - there aren't any pictures - are there!? Â [smiley=toilet.gif] [smiley=sick2.gif]


I'll send you some pictures if you want  [smiley=sick2.gif] I'll check tomorrow and see if the phantom crapper has left her mark. [smiley=toilet.gif]
and get snapping for you.
(strange man) :-/


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## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

Office bogs should have web cams ;D. YEY way to go .


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## Dont I Recognise You (Oct 10, 2003)

> I'll send you some pictures if you want  [smiley=sick2.gif] I'll check tomorrow and see if the phantom crapper has left her mark. Â [smiley=toilet.gif]
> and get snapping for you.
> (strange man) :-/


strange - yes

*that* strange...... think I'll pass, ta


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## Dont I Recognise You (Oct 10, 2003)

> Office bogs should have web cams Â ;D. YEY way to go Â .


or.....

Office bogs should have web cams ;D. YEY way to *see them* go .

damm - I just keep lining myself up for a kicking don't I.....


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## Guest (Dec 4, 2003)

> strange - yes
> 
> *that* strange...... think I'll pass, ta


Pass what?


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## Guest (Dec 4, 2003)

> YEY way to go Â .


 Down the pan hopefully ;D


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## Dont I Recognise You (Oct 10, 2003)

> Pass what?


the dutchy? 

On the left hand side, obviously....

(he said, desperately trying to dig himself out of the hole - but failing miserably.... )


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## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

So folks, any reports back from your local office toilet today ;D. Any news or views to report on bad smells or disgusted seeings ;D LOL.

And I bet your all on your lunch breaks still :


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## Guest (Dec 4, 2003)

> So folks, any reports back from your local office toilet today Â ;D. Â Any news or views to report on bad smells or disgusted seeings Â ;D LOL.
> 
> And I bet your all on your lunch breaks still Â :


All clean today, but that might have something to do with the poem I stuck to the toilet seat. ;D


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## Dont I Recognise You (Oct 10, 2003)

> All clean today, but that might have something to do with the poem I stuck to the toilet seat. Â ;D


'If you hit the seat, wipe your feet?'

'Have a shit, don't be one!'

'Clean me, or risk having your head stuffed down here?'

Ok - I know the last 2 don't rhyme, but...


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## Guest (Dec 4, 2003)

> 'If you hit the seat, wipe your feet?'
> 
> 'Have a shit, don't be one!'
> 
> ...


Mine went as follows,

If you have to do it here
make sure that your mess is clear
It's not that nice to see your skid
when I lift the toilet lid
If that's to difficult for you to do
when you get home please have your poo. ;  ;D


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## Dont I Recognise You (Oct 10, 2003)

LOL!

yes - I can see how that would work  ;D

Very, very good [smiley=thumbsup.gif]


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## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

LOL Mrs Claus you forgot to add the word 'cork' in that poem somewhere, so they can hold it until they get home ;D


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## Guest (Dec 4, 2003)

> LOL!
> 
> yes - I can see how that would work Â ;D
> 
> Very, very good Â [smiley=thumbsup.gif]


Thank-you :-*

I do them to order. ;D


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## Guest (Dec 4, 2003)

> LOL Mrs Claus you forgot to add the word 'cork' in that poem somewhere, so they can hold it until they get home Â ;D


Just cross your legs
and place a cork
remove it later with a fork. :-X


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## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

I like a good porking with a ..... Fork ;D


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## Guest (Dec 4, 2003)

> I like a good porking with a ..... Fork Â ;D


So do I ;D :-* and you would never believe how many corks I've lost in my time 

Perhaps I'll write a poem about it


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## Guest (Dec 4, 2003)

> So do I ;D :-* and you would never believe how many corks I've lost in my time
> 
> Perhaps I'll write a poem about it


I've got one would you like to hear it


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## Dont I Recognise You (Oct 10, 2003)

> I've got one would you like to hear it


sorry, were you waiting for a 'yes'?

had to have a work break there for a few mins.

Won't happen again 

(today anyway - I've got to shoot off home now!)


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## Dont I Recognise You (Oct 10, 2003)

> I've got one would you like to hear it


(yes please!)


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## Guest (Dec 4, 2003)

> (yes please!)


Here you go.

A cork for you, a cork for me
the one we lost, now that makes three
I'm still not sure where that one went
I only know my back was bent
I only hope that I don't cough
I might just blow your head right off ;D


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## ttimp (Jul 9, 2003)

> or.....
> 
> Office bogs should have web cams Â ;D. YEY way to *see them* go Â .
> 
> damm - I just keep lining myself up for a kicking don't I.....


I dunno, Chuck Berry got away with it, until he got caught.


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## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

Maybe we should have a 'poets corner' room on the forum . And I don't meant he 'pee off early tomorrow is Saturday'... da da da version ;D


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## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

> had to have a work break there for a few mins.


Every time I am reading your posts I am reading them all over the place for some reason today LOL .

I won't tell you what kind of break I thought you were having there for a moment, but it did make me chuckle immensly when I read the words 'work break' ;D. Thought it was something else break that begins with the letter W :-[ ;D .


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## Guest (Dec 4, 2003)

Do you know, I think I'm wasted here[smiley=deal2.gif]

I'll say before any body else does.

You should be [smiley=rifle.gif]  ;D


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## Dont I Recognise You (Oct 10, 2003)

Yesterday, this toilet seat
was covered in sheeet.
I was not happy
you need a nappy.
If you pee on the floor
I'll bang on the door.
See how you like that
You feckin tw*t! 

Ai thank you 

Ok - maybe not *quite* up to Mrs Claus' standard, but hey..... :


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## Dont I Recognise You (Oct 10, 2003)

PS - don't worry ^Abi^ - I'm writing them all over the place too  



> Every time I am reading your posts I am reading them all over the place for some reason today LOL .


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## Guest (Dec 5, 2003)

> Yesterday, this toilet seat
> was covered in sheeet.
> I was not happy
> you need a nappy.
> ...


Very Good  and you managed to stay on topic ten out of ten :-* ;D

Talking of topics, don't they have hazlenuts in them.


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## Dont I Recognise You (Oct 10, 2003)

> Very Good Â  and you managed to stay on topic ten out of ten :-* ;D
> 
> Talking of topics, don't they have hazlenuts in them.


Thank you! 

In every bite - apparently.

They go right through you though. 
(how's that for a 'get it back on topic' save ;D )


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## Guest (Dec 5, 2003)

> Thank you! Â
> 
> In every bite - apparently.
> 
> ...


Go to the top of the class young man, now sit on your throne and eat your topic ;D


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## John C (Jul 5, 2002)

How disgusting a skid mark has this person left?

eeewwwggh


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## Guest (Dec 5, 2003)

> How disgusting a skid mark has this person left?
> 
> eeewwwggh


You'd need a big brush to clear those buggers ;D


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## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

Your going to need an even bigger toilet brush when you see this little lot : :-X... Hold ya noses ;D

http://www.ratemypoo.com/bottom.html

[smiley=rolleyes5.gif] [smiley=rolleyes5.gif] [smiley=rolleyes5.gif] [smiley=rolleyes5.gif] [smiley=rolleyes5.gif] [smiley=rolleyes5.gif] [smiley=rolleyes5.gif] [smiley=rolleyes5.gif]


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