# This is what the flame room is for



## Nik-S3 (Nov 6, 2002)

blowing off steam when the people I need to yell at down the phone are not working until monday morning

allow me to share with you an email i just sent to a large online ordering firm, it will make me feel better, honest

Dear Sir/Madam,

I have been advised to contact yourselves by [parcel company], regarding the non-delivery of the item on this order

I required the item on the 1st July this week, but [parcel company] have failed to deliver the item, nor do they know its whereabouts, or when I may receive it

I have asked them about who to contact to get a replacement via an insurance claim, and they said yourselves

I needed this item 3 days ago, and its just beyond comprehension that I must wait for an insurance claim to go through, or a [parcel company] investigation into the parcels whereabouts

The story of the parcels non-delivery is thus;

package was attempted to be delivered on tuesday 1st july, i was at work, so a card was left i contacted [parcel company] that day to see if i could collect from their depot, but they said it was not possible, but they could re-direct it to my work the following day, which i accepted

the following day, no parcel arrived, but their website suggested it had been delivered, and gave a contact name. after spending an hour checking the various ports of entry to our site at work, i discovered no-one by the name of the signee existed. i raised this with them, and towards the end of the day, after contacting the driver, they stated that they had in fact tried to deliver it, wrongly, to my home. no-one was around to sign for it (obviously), and so it was taken to a local sub-post office, which as I understand is not something they can do without my prior instruction

i visited said post office that evening, which i found to be shut, with no way of finding out its opening hours (security shutters down)

I returned the following day during my lunch break (which overrun and caused me embarassment in front of my employers) to find the post office shut once more

I visited again that evening where I met the person who'd signed for the parcel, but he said he wasnt supposed to receive parcels so had put it into the collection sack, and the postman will have returned it to the local sorting office

The local sorting office have no recollection of the parcel, so I have contacted [parcel company] once more who accused me of a) not having the [parcel company] card that says they missed me and that it was delivered to a post office, despite it being in my hand during the conversation, and b) lying about not giving permission to deliver to a local post office, because thats something they wouldnt do. despite the fact that they had a record of me asking for it to specifically be delivered to work, and no record of me Â asking for it to be delivered to a post office, which almost defies belief, were it not for the general calamity surrounding the rest of this episode

I eventually got to speak to a manager, and the best they can offer me is for someone to begin investigations monday morning a full week after it was despatched from yourselves, and no-one knows where the parcel is, or when i will receive it

i'm sure you will agree this is a wholly unacceptable state of affairs, and whilst I understand is out of your control, reflects badly on [online supplier]. this will also sadly affect my purchashing decisions in the future, and those over who I have any purchasing influence as IT administrator of a large Aviation company. this is unfortunate, as I have always found [online supplier] to be an excellent company to deal with

please confirm by return what options i have available to me

thank you

[Mr. Irate Customer]


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## Neil (May 7, 2002)

I know the frustration you must be feeling - I regularly bang my head against the wall re the delivery (or non-delivery) of goods ordered over the phone or on the net.

They seem to have no comprehension of the fact that a large majority of people work between 9-5, and still they won't give a firm date or time for a delivery - "sometime between 9-5 in the next week, sir".

Even if you can pin a day down, they often will not give you a time, so you end up having to take a day off work, or get a friend / relative / neighbour to take the delivery.

And then it doesn't turn up  - "sorry sir, the driver was ill". Then why the f#ck didn't you let me know?

GGGGGRRRRR - I could go on....


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## R6B TT (Feb 25, 2003)

Nik
You're being too nice IMHO
Refer to the consequential loss caused by their incompetence etc etc.
I ordered a Camera from Amazon a couple of weeks ago - didn't arrive when specified - complained - delivery refunded and every other order I had with them (including Harry Potter) despatched first class without charge - and I got the camera the next day.
Online companies can't afford to be fucked around or we'll go back to shops!


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## Nik-S3 (Nov 6, 2002)

yeah, up until now i've only been dealing with the courier, as its in their hands, but i'll see what the online company have to say about that email

half the trouble is having the time to deal with these fucking incompetents


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## 55JWB (May 7, 2002)

What's in the parcel ;D Its so intriging ;D


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## garyc (May 7, 2002)

> What's in the parcel ;D Â Its so intriging ;D


Viagra and essential porn?    

Nik, the impact of your message is lessened by having virtually every paragraph beginning with 'I'.


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## Nik-S3 (Nov 6, 2002)

Garyc, explain yourself !!

i (i did it again) need all the help i can writing letters, though that one was written after a pretty bad day at work when this extra hassle was the last fucking thing i needed !!!


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## Nik-S3 (Nov 6, 2002)

seriously, its just a camera, but i dont have a digital, and wanted to take some photos of visiting family members this week and send them straight off via email without the agg of using a whole film, getting it processed etc etc


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## garyc (May 7, 2002)

> seriously, its just a camera, but i dont have a digital, and wanted to take some photos of visiting family members this week and send them straight off via email without the agg of using a whole film, getting it processed etc etc


Sorry fella, I didn't mean to be overly critical, it's just that sentence variety does make a letter easier on the eye. Also using 'you' rather than 'I' in a complaint letter can defer ownership to the recipient and invoke more action. NLP practicioners call it 'anchoring' - not that I really subscribe to their theories.

Personally I'd have got in more polite bile and sarcastic vitiol, or taken a pragmatic, "where's my fucking parcel? You idiots are screwing up my life. Get round here now" approach.

It's good to vent your spleen now and then, especially when you have been wronged. ;D


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## clived (May 6, 2002)

I also wouldn't take the "I know it isn't really your problem" approach with the supplier.

I assume that you paid the delivery fee to the supplier, not direct with the courier. Therefore your contract is with them, not their subcontractor. Your stuff hasn't arrived, it's the retailer's problem...

Clive


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## Nik-S3 (Nov 6, 2002)

cheers guys, good advice

that emails already been sent, just put it together briefly after work friday, but i'll take your comments on board when i get to speak to them on monday

hopefully they'll look at the shenanigans as a whole and the inconvenience i've experienced, rather than the way i've worded it or what i've demanded in the way of action

i'd expect nothing less from the company whos name rhymes with Babs !!!


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## christtopher (May 7, 2002)

I was going to say, you should name and shame, but you beat me to it!

Just like that huge thread on the Lancer forum earlier this week. It got so big and so well read by all the car forums, that they deleted the thread.


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## Nik-S3 (Nov 6, 2002)

of course its not "babs" fault, its the usual shambles that is the provisional parcel delivery wing of the Royal national delivery service, and their incompetent sub-GPO staff

fucking wankers


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## pas_55 (May 9, 2002)

No wonder Parcelforce loose Â£1 mill' a week


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## christtopher (May 7, 2002)

> No wonder Parcelforce loose Â£1 mill' a week


Yeah, it's not that their operating costs are larger than their revenue, they actually DO loose Â£1m a week!  In the vans, down the back of the sofa, in the sorting machines...whoever finds it all again will be rich!

Incompetant idiots. Royal Mail too, while I'm at it.


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## Nik-S3 (Nov 6, 2002)

you think the losses would be offset by the digital cameras that get 'lost' in the system Â 

*HAVE YOU SEEN ME?*


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## christtopher (May 7, 2002)

Parcel Farce!


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## Ruffles (May 6, 2002)

Isn't there an apostrophe missing in the thread title?


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## christtopher (May 7, 2002)

> Isn't there an apostrophe missing in the thread title?


ARROOGA! Â ARROOGA!

Quick everyone, dive for cover, the punctuation police have arrived! Â


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## Nik-S3 (Nov 6, 2002)

> Isn't there an apostrophe missing in the thread title?


Like I give a fuck you pedantic cuntÂ


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