# Does this wind anyone else up?



## TootRS (Apr 21, 2009)

Am I the only person who is sick of people not knowing the difference between "your" and "you're"? It's practically every single time the wrong word gets used! There, their and they're is another classic.

Will wait patiently for the wisecracks of "Don't know what your talking about" and such like


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## BrianR (Oct 12, 2011)

Your right and have a definite point their . Spellunk es a bed sabjuct en dis playse :lol:

Can be frustrating I know and generally I think people simply cannot be arsed any more, because it takes way too much effort. I guess it's about standards and they seem to dip on line and telephone ; I include my own use of grammar in that too (cringe reading some of my own posts back).


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## ScoobyTT (Aug 24, 2009)

No it's not just you.

For the benefit of the linguistic and cultural wellbeing of the illiterati, the apostrophe really is very simple to master: you use it when there's one or more letter missing to form a contraction. At what point does "your" mean or look like "you are". For fucks sake. And plurals with apostrophes: so it gets left out when it's needed and put back in when it's not [smiley=bomb.gif] The letter "y" is usually a cue for that particular linguistic monstrosity.

Introducing... [smiley=drummer.gif] 
*Scooby's Language School*
Their - this means it belongs to them.
Theirs - also means it belongs to them. NOT "there is". Jesus.

Are you trying to say THEY ARE? That'll be "they're" then. Note how it looks like a shortened version of "they ARE".

For everything else there's Mastercard. <- Note how this means there IS, not "theres". There's no such word as "theres".

[smiley=book2.gif]


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## NaughTTy (Jul 9, 2003)

You're not alone toot!

The other one that is becoming more and more prevalent these days is "should of", "would of", "could of". Aaaarrrrghhh :evil:

Scooby, I beg to differ - there is such a word as theres but it's stretching the English language a bit in my opinion. As in this sentence, there can be more than one there so you can have two (or more) theres.... maybe :wink:


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## nickls13 (May 10, 2011)

Yes, all very annoying.

My personal pet hates along this line are mispronunciations. Favourites are, 'hospickle', for hospital and 'pacific', when people mean Specific. :evil:


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## brittan (May 18, 2007)

NaughTTy said:


> Scooby, I beg to differ - there is such a word as theres but it's stretching the English language a bit in my opinion. As in this sentence, there can be more than one there so you can have two (or more) theres.... maybe :wink:


The word 'there' is an adverb and so cannot be pluralized.

I would have thought that the way to express that thought would be along the lines of, "You can have two or more instances of the word 'there' in a sentence." 
Alternatively you could have, "The word 'there' can appear two or more times in a sentence."


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## ScoobyTT (Aug 24, 2009)

NaughTTy said:


> The other one that is becoming more and more prevalent these days is "should of", "would of", "could of". Aaaarrrrghhh :evil:


AARRRRRRRRRGH!! That boils my piss. It's just pure fucking laziness of speech migrating into pure fucking laziness in writing. "Oh it sounds like "of" so it must be written "of". NOOOOOOO you fucktard it's supposed to sound like "should have" or "should've"... you know... like it's WRITTEN! :lol:

Here are the visual cues to look for for advance warning of this kind of linguistic numbskullery:
Slack jaw? Check.
Corners of the mouth inexplicably turned downwards? Check.
Permanent look of mild confusion. Check.
Mouth-breathing. Check.


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## nickls13 (May 10, 2011)

And while I'm at it. Capitals!! Why oh why can't people use them! When refering to oneself it's 'I'. Not 'i'.
Names are always started with a capital. FFS. It's basic stuff.

AAARRGGHHH!
Enough. I'm beginning to shake. :lol:


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## BrianR (Oct 12, 2011)

I am wondering if this is about age? Victor Meldrew springs to mind - I don't believe it! Glad I am only 50 and not older :lol:


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## ScoobyTT (Aug 24, 2009)

If everyone uses the same language, everyone can understand everyone plainly and simply. It's easy, and it's got bugger all to do with age and everything to do with having enough respect for your language, your audience, and yourself to use it properly and not sound like an idiot. As I mentioned in another post, people who don't bother seem to think it's up to the reader to figure out what the hell they're on about. Why _should_the reader invest their time effort in making up for someone else's laziness?

i can rite anythin an its up to you to figer it out yeah?? Like a post I saw recently which said "buy it you want be disappointed". Sorry, say what? :roll:


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## Gforce (May 10, 2011)

I did not stick in at school and my grammar is terrible for this I am truly sorry


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## TootRS (Apr 21, 2009)

I'm glad it's not just me! Absolutely agree with every statement above, using the word "of" instead of "have" is definitely another one! I don't think it's an age thing, although I've no doubt standards in schools are very different to say 30 years ago.

Quite refreshing to see that others share my frustrations because it was getting to a point with me where literally every single time one of the above words/phrases was used it was wrong! Psychologically I was even doubting myself that I'd used the word "you're" in the right place as it was so rare to see it being used correctly!


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## NaughTTy (Jul 9, 2003)

brittan said:


> NaughTTy said:
> 
> 
> > Scooby, I beg to differ - there is such a word as theres but it's stretching the English language a bit in my opinion. As in this sentence, there can be more than one there so you can have two (or more) theres.... maybe :wink:
> ...


Good point, but it's also be a noun, so perhaps it can...hmmm 



ScoobyTT said:


> NaughTTy said:
> 
> 
> > The other one that is becoming more and more prevalent these days is "should of", "would of", "could of". Aaaarrrrghhh :evil:
> ...


I think your piss would have boiled over and evaporated in an instant had you seen the one I spotted the other day...

"you shouldv'e of seen his face..." 

I nearly fell of my chair!! :lol:

Oh and while I'm at it...another pet hate: "seen" instead of "seeing" [smiley=bomb.gif]


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## antcole (Apr 4, 2009)

Our education system and modern methods of teaching seems to be a complete failure.

Jesus, i had better grammar when i was six years old.... (i think :roll: )

It is annoying, i can sympathise with the odd case, everyone makes a spelling error, but its very much on the increase it seems.... its obviously the thing now. Simple (VERY simple) grammar isnt that hard to master is it???


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## brittan (May 18, 2007)

NaughTTy said:


> Good point, but it's also be a noun, so perhaps it can...hmmm


Looks like it may depend on which Dictionary you look at.

However if 'there' can be a noun you should be able to say, "There's a there" and then describe the there.


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## JNmercury00 (May 22, 2007)

Can't believe nobody has mentioned loose and lose yet! That must be the most common mistake on the net these days.


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## ScoobyTT (Aug 24, 2009)

brittan said:


> However if 'there' can be a noun you should be able to say, "There's a there" and then describe the there.


Which as you suggest, is obviously bollocks. It can be a pronoun, but not a noun. [smiley=thumbsup.gif]



JNmercury00 said:


> Can't believe nobody has mentioned loose and lose yet! That must be the most common mistake on the net these days.


ARRRGH!! If they know that "lost" isn't "loost" then why don't they know that to lose isn't "loose"? It takes a mere moment of thought! :roll: And how in the name of monkeys do they spell "loose"? With three Os? :lol: No of course not, it's all the same and it's up to the poor old reader to decipher it based on context.

{sigh}



NaughTTy said:


> I think your piss would have boiled over and evaporated in an instant had you seen the one I spotted the other day...
> "you shouldv'e of seen his face..."


With this in mind I've developed the new Piss Incandescence Rating, or "PIR", for when your piss goes so far beyond boiling that it becomes incandescent. It's a scale measured simply according to the wavelength of light (in nanometres) that said high-temperature piss is considered to emit.


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## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

Annoys me also. Another one is 'there'! When people are referring to 'their' well being not 'there' well being! [smiley=argue.gif]

Doh, sorry just seen this has been covered apologise  Serves me 'wright' for speed reading  .... oops right :wink:


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## YoungOldUn (Apr 12, 2011)

There is one advert and programme on television that really annoys me - 'The Only Way Is Essex' *sherrrruppppp*. The way that they bastardise the english language is criminal, what worries me is that children hear them and start to copy. :evil:


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## NaughTTy (Jul 9, 2003)

ScoobyTT said:


> With this in mind I've developed the new Piss Incandescence Rating, or "PIR", for when your piss goes so far beyond boiling that it becomes incandescent. It's a scale measured simply according to the wavelength of light (in nanometres) that said high-temperature piss is considered to emit.


 :lol:


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## burns (Jun 2, 2009)

nickls13 said:


> Yes, all very annoying.
> 
> My personal pet hates along this line are mispronunciations. Favourites are, 'hospickle', for hospital and 'pacific', when people mean Specific. :evil:


Glad it's not just me with this.

However, I recently discovered that some of these idiots who mispronounce "hospital" and "specific" are so ill-educated that they think actually the words are even spelt that way! The receptionist at one of our offices emails the next day's diary each night. One day she had a hospital appointment. She recorded it as "10am Hospical". :evil: FFS! She has also emailed asking if anyone has any "pacific details" about a particular issue. :evil: :evil:

I do wonder if she ever got her medical treatment that day - surely she was driving past all the "hospital" signs because that's not the place she was looking for - it's the hospical I'm after innit! :lol:


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## brittan (May 18, 2007)

Another couple in the same vein:

Nucular instead of nuclear.

Burgalry instead of burglary.


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## newt (May 12, 2002)

A teacher recently told me that they do not bother with spelling anymore, what an attitude. We are all doomed.


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## ScoobyTT (Aug 24, 2009)

Exactly. Since some cock had the notion that what the little dears were trying to say was more important than how they said it, the output of the education system has been in decline. It's the education system basically saying "hey it's ok it you come across as a complete idiot, it's up to everyone else to figure out what you mean and if they can't, well it's not your fault."

The alternate (and correct) view is that if you can write properly EVERYONE can understand you, not just a few fellow slackers who share your special interpretation of what you lazily think the language looks and sounds like.

Here's a piss-boiler for you: when people of scholastic impairment obviously don't have much in the way of adjectives to use so they'll describe something using a facial expression and a variety of retarded-sounding noises. For example, "he was like {face} nughughghugh and I was like {face] uhhhgghgh so he was sort of like {face} uauhhhhhh".

[smiley=freak.gif]

In 20 years times, newsreaders will sound like this.


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## Super Josh (May 29, 2009)

toot3954 said:


> Am I the only person who is sick of people not knowing the difference between There, their and they're


Nope, doesn't bother me at all :lol:

SJ


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## burns (Jun 2, 2009)

I also have to add something that I previously believed I would encounter...those who don't know the difference between "has" and "as"!!!

"Has I was saying, as anyone heard from John?" :x :lol:

And yes, it's the same member of staff, with further educational needs! :roll:


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## KammyTT (Jun 28, 2006)

I'm bad at this! 
I never did master the there, their etc

Has always confused me! And sorry scoobs it still does!


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## KammyTT (Jun 28, 2006)

May I also note that my spelling is rather good albeit me punctuation isn't


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## Nilesong (Jan 19, 2009)

...an' I was like :roll: "Wha'evaahhh..."


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## Spandex (Feb 20, 2009)

ScoobyTT said:


> Exactly. Since some cock had the notion that what the little dears were trying to say was more important than how they said it, the output of the education system has been in decline. It's the education system basically saying "hey it's ok it you come across as a complete idiot, it's up to everyone else to figure out what you mean and if they can't, well it's not your fault."


I don't think anyone in the education system has ever said this, and spelling, punctuation and grammar are still on the curriculum. If literacy levels are decreasing (and I'm not sure that they really are) then it's not because schools have a new policy that it's fine for kids to 'just get by'.


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## Magenta (Feb 11, 2012)

Oh, this is definitely my kind of thread!

And speaking of "definitely," I often see "definitely" spelled "definatly" or even "defiantly" and it makes me nuts.

However, the worst offender is the use of "I could care less." NO! Steam comes out of my ears when I hear that!


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## ScoobyTT (Aug 24, 2009)

Magenta said:


> "defiantly"


 :lol: :lol: I suppose if they knew how to spell "defiant" they'd realize their mistake quickly enough. 



Magenta said:


> However, the worst offender is the use of "I could care less." NO! Steam comes out of my ears when I hear that!


That one grips my shit also. Another excellent example of lazy speech drifting into lazy writing. "Couldn't" ended up spoken as "couldn" to the point where the poor little "not" got totally lost in a haze of illiteracy. It's coming to something when you don't even realize that what you're trying to say isn't what you're saying.

Oh I've got another one: "cud" instead of "could". :lol:

Here's a top post from today to test your ear steam, Magenta:


> i kinda see the stuff behind the air intake , is this normal u thing? as water gets in there i thing


Where to begin? :roll: [smiley=bomb.gif]



KammyTT said:


> I never did master the there, their etc
> Has always confused me! And sorry scoobs it still does!


I refer the honourable gentleman to my cut'n'keep pocket guide on page 1 :wink:


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## Magenta (Feb 11, 2012)

ScoobyTT said:


> Magenta said:
> 
> 
> > "defiantly"
> ...


LOL, that's a good point! :lol:



ScoobyTT said:


> That one grips my shit also. Another excellent example of lazy speech drifting into lazy writing. "Couldn't" ended up spoken as "couldn" to the point where the poor little "not" got totally lost in a haze of illiteracy. It's coming to something when you don't even realize that what you're trying to say isn't what you're saying.
> 
> Oh I've got another one: "cud" instead of "could". :lol:


Lazy writing annoys me a lot. I think the invention of Twitter made this worse, with people trying to fit a lot of things into 140 characters! I see it all the time on Facebook too. "Wiv" "Cud" "sumfink" are all things that I see often, but one I hate the most is "woz." What is the point in spelling that wrong?? It's the same amount of letters as the real spelling!! WHY?! [smiley=furious3.gif]



ScoobyTT said:


> Here's a top post from today to test your ear steam, Magenta:
> 
> 
> > i kinda see the stuff behind the air intake , is this normal u thing? as water gets in there i thing


 [smiley=bigcry.gif] It hurts me. Really.

P.S You have no clue how many I have checked this post for errors in order to avoid looking like an idiot for complaining about bad spelling! :lol:


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## NaughTTy (Jul 9, 2003)

Magenta said:


> P.S You have no clue how many I have checked this post for errors in order to avoid looking like an idiot for complaining about bad spelling! :lol:


P.S*.* ....how many times I have checked... :roll: :wink:


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## CWJ (Aug 24, 2010)

I like this.


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## NaughTTy (Jul 9, 2003)

CWJ said:


> I like this.


+1 :lol:


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## ScoobyTT (Aug 24, 2009)

:lol:


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## Magenta (Feb 11, 2012)

NaughTTy said:


> Magenta said:
> 
> 
> > P.S You have no clue how many I have checked this post for errors in order to avoid looking like an idiot for complaining about bad spelling! :lol:
> ...


Dammit! :lol:


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## John-H (Jul 13, 2005)

xcellent! I'll have to remember that one :lol:



brittan said:


> Another couple in the same vein:
> 
> Nucular instead of nuclear.


President Bush was one for saying that. I seem to remember him trying to talk about the IAEA once, having several attempts and ending up saying the EIEIO :lol:

This site is useful - The Apostrophie Appreciation Society:

http://www.apostrophe.org.uk/index.htm

Some excellent examples in the photo gallery :wink:


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## brittan (May 18, 2007)

John-H said:


> President Bush was one for saying that. I seem to remember him trying to talk about the IAEA once, having several attempts and ending up saying the EIEIO :lol:


Good ol' George Dubya: yes he certainly was good at mispronouncing that word. 
When the word is spoken, written and bandied about every day of work for many years you do tend to pick up on it.


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## zltm089 (Jul 27, 2009)

yeah ,big difference about

Knowing your shit and

Knowing you're shit.


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## brittan (May 18, 2007)

Some more for mispronunciation:

Seckaterry instead of secretary.

Febuary instead of February.

Jewlery instead of jewellery.


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## Magenta (Feb 11, 2012)

brittan said:


> Some more for mispronunciation:
> 
> Seckaterry instead of secretary.
> 
> ...


I've never seen it spelled jewlery, but that is quite close to the U.S spelling, which is jewelry.

And I hate it when people mispronounce secretary! :lol: Another one that is annoying is when people say Valentime's Day instead of Valentine's Day!


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## Charlie (Dec 15, 2006)

burns said:


> nickls13 said:
> 
> 
> > Yes, all very annoying.
> ...


The last paragraph cracked me up  she sounds like a complete spacktard.

Charlie


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## ScoobyTT (Aug 24, 2009)

burns said:


> One day she had a hospital appointment. She recorded it as "10am Hospical". :evil: FFS! She has also emailed asking if anyone has any "pacific details" about a particular issue. :evil: :evil:


What the fuck is a "hospical" anyway? Presumably it's some kind of medicinal frozen treat.

When she asks if anyone has any "pacific details" just email back something along the lines of, "Here are the Pacific details that you asked for: The Pacific is the World's largest ocean, covering roughly one third of the Earth's surface. It is also home to the Mariana Trench and the Challenger Deep, the deepest-known point on Earth at around 10.91km deep. Noteworthy occupants include the Hawaiians."

She won't have a bloody clue why you sent her that. Then you can inform her. With a clue bat.

Alternatively take the cut'n'keep option of my Literacy Hour topic and create some flash cards for her.


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## Magenta (Feb 11, 2012)




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## ScoobyTT (Aug 24, 2009)

:lol: [smiley=bigcry.gif] That was me at work today.

Why does every sodding verb need a prefix of "sor-ov" now too? :evil:


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## burns (Jun 2, 2009)

ScoobyTT said:


> burns said:
> 
> 
> > One day she had a hospital appointment. She recorded it as "10am Hospical". :evil: FFS! She has also emailed asking if anyone has any "pacific details" about a particular issue. :evil: :evil:
> ...


I like the sound of the clue bat!


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## biggc (Jan 9, 2012)

we have all done it so annoying


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## olivarrr (Feb 1, 2012)

Grammar - The difference between knowing your s**t and knowing you're s**t.


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## ScoobyTT (Aug 24, 2009)

burns said:


> I like the sound of the clue bat!


You'd like the sound even more at the moment of impact :lol:


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## burns (Jun 2, 2009)

ScoobyTT said:


> burns said:
> 
> 
> > I like the sound of the clue bat!
> ...


  Love it!


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## Magenta (Feb 11, 2012)

olivarrr said:


> Grammar - The difference between knowing your s**t and knowing you're s**t.


On a similar note, I saw this on Facebook yesterday, and I quote, "The difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse, and helping your uncle jack off a horse."

:lol:


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## BrianR (Oct 12, 2011)

Magenta said:


> olivarrr said:
> 
> 
> > Grammar - The difference between knowing your s**t and knowing you're s**t.
> ...


 :lol: :lol: :lol:


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