# Banning Slapping



## jgoodman00 (May 6, 2002)

I just dont get this. As it is, the children of today have more power than their parents...

When I was a kid, I got the occaisonal slap & it never did me any harm...


----------



## donna_kebab (May 8, 2002)

I agree, its just going to ban everyone except parents though isnt it? ie child minders / carers.

Though I have seen both sides of the story and have friends who were not jsut slapped, but 'beaten' as a child, so hopefully this may go some way to protecting those like them, on the other-hand if any parent has the mental ability to 'beat' a child, then the law isn't likely to have an effect in reality is it :-/


----------



## vlastan (May 6, 2002)

The best punishment is to tie the offending child on a tree till it calms down!

This is what one of uncles was doing to his children many years ago in Greece! ;D


----------



## garyc (May 7, 2002)

When are we going to stop organising our world around badly behaved, amoral, spoilt, indulged, thick, illiterate, selfish, inconsiderate fucking brats?

Cuff the little sods at will I say. 

Or should we just talk it through and reason with the cunning little chancers, 'cos it obviously works dunnit? :-/


----------



## jgoodman00 (May 6, 2002)

Exactly, although I guess you could confiscate their mobile & pda...


----------



## r1 (Oct 31, 2002)

I was regularly beaten to a pulp as a child and it's made me the man I am today. A ignorant brute with alcoholic tendencies and a penchant for violence!! ;D


----------



## garyc (May 7, 2002)

> I was regularly beaten to a pulp as a child and it's made me the man I am today. A ignorant brute with alcoholic tendencies and a penchant for violence!! ;D


Quad errat demonstrandum. I rest my case. ;D


----------



## StuarTT (May 7, 2002)

> When are we going to stop organising our world around badly behaved, amoral, spoilt, indulged, thick, illiterate, selfish, inconsiderate fucking brats?
> 
> Cuff the little sods at will I say.
> 
> Or should we just talk it through and reason with the cunning little chancers, 'cos it obviously works dunnit? :-/


I say we should propose a law allowing abortions up to the 18th year _after_ birth [smiley=behead.gif] [smiley=deal2.gif] [smiley=devil.gif]


----------



## vlastan (May 6, 2002)

> I was regularly beaten to a pulp as a child and it's made me the man I am today. A ignorant brute with alcoholic tendencies and a penchant for violence!! ;D


I suffered some brutal childhood myself...but I ended up having a fetish for bums!! How weird! :


----------



## phil (May 7, 2002)

> I suffered some brutal childhood myself...but I ended up having a fetish for bums!! How weird! :


Vlastan, have you ever considered priesthood?

From personal experience, I'd ban slapping. Apart from anything, it doesn't work. All it does is leads to resentment, and distances you from your children. There are better ways to punish kids.


----------



## garyc (May 7, 2002)

> There are better ways to punish kids.


Sure. Lighted cigarettes? Extreme noise terror? Make them obese....etc

Be creative.


----------



## Steve_Mc (May 6, 2002)

> Sure. Â Lighted cigarettes? Â Extreme noise terror? Make them obese....etc
> 
> Be creative.


Half an hour reading the joke forum?


----------



## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

There is 'slapping' and there is also 'brutely beating the shit out of your child' which can leave an innocent, vulnerable child disabled or killed . A firm talk with your child is the best along with a few grounding rules.

If a parent has patience and is mature enough to have a baby then they are adult enough to sit with that child and discuss with them where their child is going wrong and make that child realise what they have done wrong.

In my opinion I don't agree with slapping or hitting a child who is not strong enough to use self defence on an adult who is a lot lot stronger .

I would go absolutelly balistic and be very upset if my 2 sons (aged 2 and 5) were being torched if they did they slightest thing wrong .


----------



## phil (May 7, 2002)

I have to say Abi, I'm 100% with you on that one. Usually when people hit their kids it's purely out of anger, and has nothing to do with teaching them not to do it again.

And gary, I know you've had a go at me in the past for going too far in the past (which is fine) but I think you crossed the line a little there. It's not a laughing matter.


----------



## pgtt (May 7, 2002)

I can understand what Abi/Phil is saying but, what if sitting them down and talking about it doesn't work?

BTW i don't condone hitting children
Cheers Phil


----------



## phil (May 7, 2002)

I'm not saying you shouldn't punish kids. And I don't have a problem with parents slapping their kids' backsides. The pain doesn't last long. But the best way to deal with it is to stop them having something that they want, beit toys, treats, or freedom. 
Hitting kids will only lead to them hiding everything from you and hating you.


----------



## pgtt (May 7, 2002)

> I'm not saying you shouldn't punish kids. And I don't have a problem with parents slapping their kids' backsides. The pain doesn't last long. But the best way to deal with it is to stop them having something that they want, beit toys, treats, or freedom.
> Hitting kids will only lead to them hiding everything from you and hating you.


Agreed


----------



## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

This certainly is no laughing matter what so ever. I have not had much experience with children, only my own. However I do think that parents are what their children have made them. Example :- A child is only a bully if they have been bullied. A child only conveys back to other children what the parents have shouted at them. A child will always use the tactic on others that parents have shown and behaved or carried out on their children. This is where some children today in our society get their behaviour from. If you get a civil, warm, loving couple, 9 times out of 10 you will find their children are very similar because of the gentleness that the parents have shown towards them.


----------



## garyc (May 7, 2002)

> And gary, I know you've had a go at me in the past for going too far in the past (which is fine) but I think you crossed the line a little there. It's not a laughing matter.


OK hold the extreme noise terror. ;D


----------



## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

Gary behave otherwise I will get my whip out, lay you across my knees with your bare botty exposed and whip it ;D


----------



## garyc (May 7, 2002)

> Gary behave otherwise I will get my whip out, lay you across my knees with your bare botty exposed and whip it Â ;D Â  Â Â


I am not a Tory MP thanks.


----------



## nutts (May 8, 2002)

What utter tripe some people talk!

Kids are like any other person this planet. Some react well to and some do not react well to being physically punished.

As a kid I stole/shoplifted and did things I wish I'd never done and when my father found out, he took his thickest, widest (1970's ) leather belt and beat my backside till I cried and couldn't sit down.

I never stole or shoplifted again!

SOME childrean will do exactly the opposite and rebel! That is why you can't have one rule applying to all kids!

Up until my father beating my backside, no amount of talking to me worked and didn't work with ANY of my mates from their fathers either.

Then when I was REALLY punished, I DID realise what punishment was and why it worked. It worked because it makes you realise that there are BIG BLOODY RULES in this world and if you do not follow them you get punished and that punishment can BLOODY hurt! ;D

I VERY rarely smack my kids, I prefer to slam a big boom down on a table and make them think what it would feel like if that was their backside! It works..... for now..... talking to them does not always work! As they get older it may be more or less effective :-/


----------



## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

Thats not nice hitting a child with a belt what ever the situation! Its not clever, it is not fair and is certainly not the way to love and certainly not the way to nurture your own flesh and blood!


----------



## ccc (May 7, 2002)

> Thats not nice hitting a child with a belt what ever the situation!


Saves hurting your own hand or ruining a perfectly good pair of slippers, though!


----------



## vlastan (May 6, 2002)

> Saves hurting your own hand or ruining a perfectly good pair of slippers, though!


 ;D

My mum was making black marks from leather belts on the wall when she was chasing me to hit me and she was missing! ;D

But I was never that naughty like Nutts. Never shoplifted or did anything as bad. But once I did smash the window in the patio door with my fists! I was only 10 and I was bleeding all over my hands but went hiding under the bed when my grandfather came to hit me!! Ahhh...I always loved my grandfather although he is dead now.

Perhaps this is why I don't dare having children...if they are little devils like me...it will be a nightmare!!


----------



## imster (Apr 26, 2003)

Whats all this bollocks about???

"not that i condone hitting children"

WTF is that all about?? so people think that it is a bad thing to hit your children, what a load of shite. This world has evolved without any problems with children being smacked, i was smacked as a child and i am glad because it made me a decent person today. I see children these days and honestly speaking they are fookin lunatics!! When i was a child I was never as spoilt as i see children today.

Lets stop all this political correctness shite and think about reality, I for one don't want the government to tell me whether i am allowed to hit my children or not. If you love your children enough you will be extremely careful when giving them a smack, I know i will.....


----------



## phil (May 7, 2002)

There's a difference between smacking and hitting. And hitting a kid's face, if it's yours or not, should be a crime.


----------



## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

Fraid I agree with Phil again ;D. My children are ages 2 and 5 they listen and learn without being smacked or punished.

I may have to raise my voice a little, but the expression on my face says it all when they look at me. They then back off and behave ;D.


----------



## Ruffles (May 6, 2002)

I am a father of two. Â One boy and one girl.

We have been fortunate in that they have good natures and their rebellious tendencies are not very extreme or dangerous to themselves... as yet. Â The boy is 12 and the girl is 14.

I am in favour of physical punishment. Â But not as a way for parents to relieve their own stress.

I have smacked both of them. Â They have each had one serious smacking from me. Â When I talk with them, neither of them remember it. Â Only my son remembers being smacked and that was when he was about two and he crawled under the front gate and was wandering onto the very busy A-road outside our house. Â My wife was so frightened that it was more a reaction to that fear.

I reckon that it is important for them to realise that you are prepared to smack them if necessary in any particular situation. If they feel, for example, that they can misbehave in public without fear of punishment then they do take liberties. Â The fear of being punished is more effective than any actual punishment might be but they have got to believe that you are prepared to carry it through.

One should never be embarassed to discipline children when necessary. Â They can sense it and they are great manipulators. Â The classic example is the road. Â Absolute obedience is required as their life is at stake. Â The problem is that if you are used to the sit them down and explain carefully approach then this never encourages a quick and obedient response when it really becomes necessary. Â It's pointless trying to sit down and explain to the corpse of your child why it was important to obey you on the highway without having to explain why you wanted him to stop whatever it was that was endangering his life.


----------



## nutts (May 8, 2002)

Abi

Some kids respond to "talking to" and some do not!

In a way it was like the arms race.... EVERYONE knew the US would and did use nuclear weapons and because of this it WAS a deterent!

Anyway not to drag this thread off-topic.... I knew 2 twin boys 2 years younger than myself. Their parents allowed them out at all hours, NEVER smacked them... they did tell them not to do things, but to repeat NEVER smacked them!

They ran amoke and all the kids knew of the Johnson twins..... and everyone knew about it when they ended up at her majestys' pleasure for beating an old man to death!

Some kids NEED a smack and CANNOT be talked to! Some kids like yours might respond to talking.... and in the context of this thread only, keep you mamby pamby liberal sodding views to yourself :. I agree with ImsTTer and Ruffles, discipline your kids if the circumstance dictates.... do NOT mistake this for beating your child.

My father hit my backside and I turned out reasonably well ;D



> Thats not nice hitting a child with a belt what ever the situation! Â Its not clever, it is not fair and is certainly not the way to love and certainly not the way to nurture your own flesh and blood!


----------



## garyc (May 7, 2002)

> Saves hurting your own hand or ruining a perfectly good pair of slippers, though!


CCC. Class. LOL ;D ;D ;D ;D


----------



## Ruffles (May 6, 2002)

Yeah..

I had non-violence beaten into me.


----------



## garyc (May 7, 2002)

So there I was Friday evening at home 6 pm, not long in from Bracknell.

My wife calls out, "What's that boy doing by your car?" Â

I glance out into the street and there is a boy of about 11-12 on a pushbike around the back of my car, removing the alloy valve covers. Â Red mist descends (I am always getting these knicked) and I'm out there. Â Caught the little shit red-handed.

Recalling what would have happened to me if I Â had been caught at that age I did the same. Â I CLOUTED THE LITTLE FUCKER. Â Grabbing hold of him I then asked him who I should call, the Police or his parents. Â The kid was quaking by now but gave me his folks number. Â Fortunately there was no answer (or he gave me a wrong number.) So I 'stole' his bike valve covers and pump and told him that if he comes back with his parents to apologise for being a thief, he can have them back. Â I was going to take his trainers too.....

I doubt if I will see him again and told him that cctv was going in on the street plus I took a digi-picture of him and told him that it was going to Crimewatch and on to my web site as a known car vandal in Bristol . Â He clearly knew right from wrong and now he knows that not everyone is going to put up with it and hopefully that is a valuable lesson to him.

He also admitted that it was the fifth set he had taken from the cars on my street and that he sells them to the Nova boys for Â£2 a set.

Innocent, vulnerable children. Â Pish.

Little shits more like.


----------



## Dubcat (Jun 10, 2002)

garyc - do you not fear him coming back with his gang of 20 friends who will proceed to burn your house down and torch your car?
W.


----------



## garyc (May 7, 2002)

> garyc - do you not fear him coming back with his gang of 20 friends who will proceed to burn your house down and torch your car?
> W.


Well that's always a possibility but not one to worry about since it's not that likely and that's what insurance is for. :-/

Plus I do have his mug shot and I saw the terror in his face.  

Any vandalism etc. and I go straight to the law, then, when they do nothing as usual, take a private prosecution against his parents with maximum publicity. Along with printing a few hundred copies of his mug and sticking them around town, and his neighborhood.

I predict that if he continues his pilfering he will just go and find easier soft targets elswhere.

Perhaps I should have just invited him in so he could clock the AV and hi fi, sat him down, and asked how things were going at home and if stealing dust caps is just a cry for help!!! : Like I'd give a fuck if it was. At that age you know right from wrong, regardless of personal circumstances/social backgound.

I do actually believe that most kids are decent and know how to behave. Kids are kids and will act like kids. Kids will get a cuff from time to time if they act up. No legistlation will change that.


----------



## Ruffles (May 6, 2002)

Actually, this raises an interesting question of exactly what innocence means.

Innocence does not mean, in my view, that one does not do anything wrong. Â It means that it is not possible to distinguish between "right" and "wrong" in a meaningful way.

Being able to distinguish between a "right" and "wrong" choice means that one appreciates at more than an intellectual level the difference. Â This means that one must understand the consequences of each choice and what that might mean in a very real way to yourself and to others.

If one has never had to face consequences other than a good talking to, it never sinks in that some actions are potentially very harming and inherently wrong in a caring society. Â Sometimes we have to inflict pain if we care about someone. Â I really think physical punishment can be positive in this regard.

Maybe the "little bugger" never had such direct feedback of his actions. Â For someone that old, I would say it was great that you took his picture and promised to make it known to a wider audience. Â That, plus the raw agression, not necessarily hitting him, would have focused his attention somewhat 

I imagine a situation where he is reluctant to do this again in a hurry. But he still hangs out with others that do.

Peer pressure is incredibly powerful. If you would guard your childrens' upbringing, you should monitor very carefully who their friends are and what they do together. I mean very carefully because if you simply accept that your child's friends are from a good family and dont look closer you might be in big trouble.

Take part in everything your kids do. Don't be a stuffy grown up..


----------

