# Why?



## simno44 (Aug 25, 2012)

Why... Does she always have to slam the fecking door as hard as she possibly can? .... What does this prove?


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## SalsredTT (Jan 8, 2011)

As a female, I would say she is angry with you for something - the slamming is just to annoy you as she knows you hate it - its a way of getting back at you via your beloved TT!


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## simno44 (Aug 25, 2012)

Fuming lol. 
It's not so much the car. Just doors in general. There always the ones to suffer the wrath.

Arrrrrg.


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## roddy (Dec 25, 2008)

Mmmmmm !!!!! Was it something you said ??????


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## simno44 (Aug 25, 2012)

Apparently.


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

as a married of 26 years it could be one of many things si,

hair done......you didn't notice
cooked a nice meal......you didn't appreciate properly
new clothes..........you didn't say how good she looks
jo blob.........you didn't say it was the best ever
she drove the car..........and you criticised her
list goes on lol


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## simno44 (Aug 25, 2012)

If I told you what actually sparked it you would just take the piss lol

Was food related


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## davelincs (Jan 1, 2010)

Make her walk, she won't be able to slam the car door then


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

simno44 said:


> If I told you what actually sparked it you would just take the piss lol
> 
> Was food related


oh..........you didn't mention food and weight in the same sentence did you fool?????
brb off to maccy dee's :roll:


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## CWM3 (Mar 4, 2012)

Not blob time is it? They do some very starnge things under the cover of hormone change.


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## simno44 (Aug 25, 2012)

She's on the smarties. So she's all over the place most if the time..

What actually happened was this. 
She cooked a meal. A lovely meal. 
I played if up when the oven had gone beep beep and handed her her plate. In the time it tuck me to find a falk and sot down she had sat down her self and filler lovely face with potato... She then looked at me and 
Bumbled .. And I quote

Holly - "poksbehtatos msrhrleot csmkrkeooked"

Me - "sorry?"

Holly - "poksbehtatos msrhrleot csmkrkeooked"

Me - "what???"

Holly - (after clearing her mouth of potato)
"THE FUCKING POTATOS ARNT COOKED"

Response was 
"Oh well... Their boring anyway. Do you want your putting back in?"

And then she went mental.

Apparently... I should be able to speak potato talk. She went to her mates in a flap and my house mate an I used the free time wisely.. By switching fifa on. She then called wanting to know why I hadn't chased her half way across leeds. Heard the "fifa music" as she calls it and went more mental this time blaming my house mate for "leading me astray"..
So.. My house mate now keeps calling me "Turk" (scrubs) 
My living room door frame has seen better days and my mrs best mate now thinks I'm the devil...

Who likes potatoes anyway?


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## NoMark (Jul 6, 2011)

simno44 said:


> She's on the smarties. So she's all over the place most if the time..
> 
> What actually happened was this.
> She cooked a meal. A lovely meal.
> ...


 :lol: :lol: :lol: Brilliant Simon.

You know what they say, "can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em"


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## Mike007 (Aug 15, 2012)

Time to get rid mate :roll:


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

well tbh.....you say it was a lovely meal!!!! who the foot cooked and dished it up without even checking it was cooked?

Edit: just re-read........so it was your fault raw spuds went on the plate. :roll:


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## simno44 (Aug 25, 2012)

But she's a keeper!

Just a mental keeper. Lol.


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## simno44 (Aug 25, 2012)

Gazzer said:


> well tbh.....you say it was a lovely meal!!!! who the foot cooked and dished it up without even checking it was cooked?
> 
> Edit: just re-read........so it was your fault raw spuds went on the plate. :roll:


Only coz the thing went beep beep and she was busy doing lady things and making the house smell like a chemical weapon had gone off in an acrylic Factory.


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## CWM3 (Mar 4, 2012)

Tell her there are people in Africa starving who would kill for those spuds, under cooked or not, and she was bang out of order dragging your mate into it.

Won't make any difference other than to piss her off, and storm out again, then another free pass for the night.

Thinking about it, I might have future as a relationships counsellor, as I understand womens moods quite well due to many years of practice.


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

simno44 said:


> Gazzer said:
> 
> 
> > well tbh.....you say it was a lovely meal!!!! who the foot cooked and dished it up without even checking it was cooked?
> ...


fuck me bud.....sounds like men behaving badly living in your place lol. alarm clock goes off at 6am, only means the time is 6am...doesn't guarantee you fucking slept well ya nugget.


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## c15 ttt (Dec 3, 2010)

try burning them next time.its a hoot :lol:


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

c15 ttt said:


> try burning them next time.its a hoot :lol:


does make me slightly worried frenchy.....he is plod and cannot even tell if a spud is cooked or not lmao....god help the british public.


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## A3DFU (May 7, 2002)

simno44 said:


> Who likes potatoes anyway?


Me!! And *BIG* time! It's the one food I can't resist - ever :roll:


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

A3DFU said:


> simno44 said:
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> > Who likes potatoes anyway?
> ...


nice big jacket spud (cooked in the oven of course) with a lovely crispy skin and a big helping of chilli con carne mmmmmm


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## simno44 (Aug 25, 2012)

Gazzer said:


> simno44 said:
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> > Gazzer said:
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Mate.. I'm not joking.. The only thing that differentiates between the TV program and our actual life... Is the fact that our apartment is rather swish.. 
I (Gary) drive a TT and my house mate (Tony's) mrs is no where near as fit a "debs" was all those years ago lol.

Also.. May I congratulate you all on refraining from the Keith lemon pictures/jokes. Haha.


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## roddy (Dec 25, 2008)

simno44 said:


> But she's a keeper!
> 
> Just a mental keeper. Lol.


CraZy ones are the best mate , never a dull moment :lol:


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## c15 ttt (Dec 3, 2010)

Gazzer said:


> c15 ttt said:
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> 
> > try burning them next time.its a hoot :lol:
> ...


or maybe he is a posh copper and prefers the fine potatoes al dente my dear


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

c15 ttt said:


> Gazzer said:
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nah bud.......al dente is only for coloured veg and pastas. that is just pure sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit cooking.


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## simno44 (Aug 25, 2012)

They where funny diced things.. With herbs and what not on them.

Not a fan if I'm honest.


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## c15 ttt (Dec 3, 2010)

fair enough...  .simon...you cant cook.get a microwave mate.


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## denTTed (Feb 21, 2007)

Gazzer said:


> simno44 said:
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Proper lol'd at that gaz, I'll file that and use it at a later date.

Well the crazy ones are always thd keenest between the sheets, but terrible cooks.

Decision time......


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

simno44 said:


> They where funny diced things.. With herbs and what not on them.
> 
> Not a fan if I'm honest.


Simon said.........
What actually happened was this. 
She cooked a meal. A lovely meal

errrrr so you lied on the innitial statement sir? would you like to revise it prior to going to court of bad cooking lol


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## c15 ttt (Dec 3, 2010)

my wife is on cooking me a jacket potato atm.al piss myself if its `al dente` gazzer...wont be happy if its burnt though. :?


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

c15 ttt said:


> my wife is on cooking me a jacket potato atm.al piss myself if its `al dente` gazzer...wont be happy if its burnt though. :?


bit of butter and rubbed with garlic will be lush.........MUST BE A CRISPY SKIN frenchy's mrs!!!!! oh and eat the skin as it's the full goodness.


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## c15 ttt (Dec 3, 2010)

too late mate.its a microwave job even though she did walk past the oven.beans and grated cheese.knob of butter in for good measure...not a hissy fit in sight.


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## simno44 (Aug 25, 2012)

Gazzer said:


> simno44 said:
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> > They where funny diced things.. With herbs and what not on them.
> ...


Objection! I didn't cook the things. I just tuck em out and wangled them on to a plate lol.


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## simno44 (Aug 25, 2012)

denTTed said:


> Gazzer said:
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> > simno44 said:
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She's keen. That's given!!


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

c15 ttt said:


> too late mate.its a microwave job even though she did walk past the oven.beans and grated cheese.knob of butter in for good measure...not a hissy fit in sight.


she is a classy cook then :roll: (way to a mans heart and all)


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## c15 ttt (Dec 3, 2010)

Objection! I didn't cook the things. I just tuck em out and wangled them on to a plate lol.[/quote]

so you took them out too early chef


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

simno44 said:


> Gazzer said:
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so officer........the i understand that you didn't manufacture (cook) the drugs.....but never the less you did deliver them! do you deny this? :roll:


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## zltm089 (Jul 27, 2009)

Give them the right to vote...

and now they are taking over the world!...

Time for the male species to rule again!!!

Fight for your right! We cannot accept this any more! [smiley=bigcry.gif] [smiley=bomb.gif]


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## simno44 (Aug 25, 2012)

Gazzer said:


> simno44 said:
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Your honour and jury.. The prosecution has worse spelling than the defendant.


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## simno44 (Aug 25, 2012)

zltm089 said:


> Give them the right to vote...
> 
> and now they are taking over the world!...
> 
> ...


Female down fall caused by potato. Who would have thought it? Lol.


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## A3DFU (May 7, 2002)

simno44 said:


> zltm089 said:
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> > Give them the right to vote...
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Divorce proceedings started over lemon in water :roll:


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## simno44 (Aug 25, 2012)

Goes to show the extent of her loony-ness.


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## denTTed (Feb 21, 2007)

Erm, I think thats one of my mates daughters, whats her name?


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

denTTed said:


> Erm, I think thats one of my mates daughters, whats her name?


his mrs is called Holly........now ask me how i know?


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## simno44 (Aug 25, 2012)

Lads shhh! If she comes across this I'm mullered lol.

Gaz lol!


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## simno44 (Aug 25, 2012)

denTTed said:


> Erm, I think thats one of my mates daughters, whats her name?


Go on mate. What's her dad called


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## simno44 (Aug 25, 2012)

Tryed to remove the picture through fear of having my balls removed but it won't let me lol. Crap!


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

Holly is a sheit cook.................Holly is a sheit cook...............Holly is a sheit cook.................Holly is a sheit cook...............Holly is a sheit cook.................Holly is a sheit cook...............Holly is a sheit cook.................Holly is a sheit cook...............Holly is a sheit cook.................Holly is a sheit cook...............Holly is a sheit cook.................Holly is a sheit cook...............Holly is a sheit cook.................Holly is a sheit cook...............Holly is a sheit cook.................Holly is a sheit cook...............Holly is a sheit cook.................Holly is a sheit cook...............Holly is a sheit cook.................Holly is a sheit cook...............Holly is a sheit cook.................Holly is a sheit cook...............Holly is a sheit cook.................Holly is a sheit cook...............

:lol: :lol:


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## simno44 (Aug 25, 2012)

SHe is a great cook. Just not great at talking with a mouth full.

... Oh god.


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## SalsredTT (Jan 8, 2011)

*crying with laughter*

You and Gazzer is brave brave keyboard warriors ................................until Mrs Simon and Mrs Gazzer find this thread.

:lol: :lol: :lol:


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## simno44 (Aug 25, 2012)

I'm just waiting on word from denTTed before I can breath again lol.


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## denTTed (Feb 21, 2007)

haha it does look very much like my friends daughter Becci, but she lives in London and I don't think you do. But I did for a second think oh fuck it's becci I've known her since she was a baby and now I know she's shit at cooking potatoes but worse still she's a freak in between the sheets.....

Holly? how do you know or latin Ilex aquifolium ( she gets dryer with age)


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## simno44 (Aug 25, 2012)

Pmsl 
And I can breath. Christ man...

Thanks for that.... Lol.


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## denTTed (Feb 21, 2007)

The internet is a small place, I once read a post on a forum and realised it was my next dor neighbour, he never did ask how i knew his name lol


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## simno44 (Aug 25, 2012)

denTTed said:


> The internet is a small place, I once read a post on a forum and realised it was my next dor neighbour, he never did ask how i knew his name lol


Hahaha.


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

denTTed said:


> The internet is a small place, I once read a post on a forum and realised it was my next dor neighbour, he never did ask how i knew his name lol


its when you get some dirt on him and post it on the forum as a pretend peep, really freaks them out.


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## BrianR (Oct 12, 2011)

My kids used to slam doors until I took them all off, a month of having totally no privacy soon solved that problem :lol: They used tp throw their clothes on the floor too, so a month of living with coat hooks screwed to the floor of their bedrooms stopped that one allso :lol: My girlfriend is a door slammer and I have threatened her with the same, she is also a stomper, Havnet thought of a punishment for that one yet though.


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

BrianR said:


> My kids used to slam doors until I took them all off, a month of having totally no privacy soon solved that problem :lol: They used tp throw their clothes on the floor too, so a month of living with coat hooks screwed to the floor of their bedrooms stopped that one allso :lol: My girlfriend is a door slammer and I have threatened her with the same, she is also a stomper, Havnet thought of a punishment for that one yet though.


screw carpet to the soles of her feet?


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

denTTed said:


> haha it does look very much like my friends daughter Becci, but she lives in London and I don't think you do. But I did for a second think oh fuck it's becci I've known her since she was a baby and now I know she's shit at cooking potatoes but worse still she's a freak in between the sheets.....
> 
> Holly? how do you know or latin Ilex aquifolium ( she gets dryer with age)


i ask m8...........how do you know your m8's daughter is a freak in bed? only asking mind.


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## simno44 (Aug 25, 2012)

Gazzer said:


> denTTed said:
> 
> 
> > haha it does look very much like my friends daughter Becci, but she lives in London and I don't think you do. But I did for a second think oh fuck it's becci I've known her since she was a baby and now I know she's shit at cooking potatoes but worse still she's a freak in between the sheets.....
> ...


He's going off a comment I made about holly lol.

She is a stomper too. But thankfully at the moment I live in an open plan duplex apartment with underfloor heating through out. So stomping.. Due to solid concrete flooring under carpet only hurts her feet lol.

She's also a "back packer" ... That's always fun to go through when the issue is resolved. 
Used undies, single socks, chargers that haven't been used for anything in years, lots of other random bits useful to noone. Lol.


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## BrianR (Oct 12, 2011)

> screw carpet to the soles of her feet?


[/quote]

:lol: :lol:


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## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

Did she slam your door today?


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## BrianR (Oct 12, 2011)

Dotti said:


> Did she slam your door today?


Not today, she was too busy unscrewing her feet from the carpet :lol:


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## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

BrianR said:


> Dotti said:
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> > Did she slam your door today?
> ...


 :lol: ooo er Mr Kinky [smiley=whip.gif]


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## BrianR (Oct 12, 2011)

Dotti said:


> BrianR said:
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 :lol: 
rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr


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## Brendanb86 (Feb 12, 2011)

:lol: This thread has made my Friday afternoon go a little quicker! Don't ever back down on the FIFA playing when she decides she's got the hump, it's your god given right to play FIFA when you're not talking!


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## simno44 (Aug 25, 2012)

Brendanb86 said:


> :lol: This thread has made my Friday afternoon go a little quicker! Don't ever back down on the FIFA playing when she decides she's got the hump, it's your god given right to play FIFA when you're not talking!


Word!!!


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## simno44 (Aug 25, 2012)

simno44 said:


> Brendanb86 said:
> 
> 
> > :lol: This thread has made my Friday afternoon go a little quicker! Don't ever back down on the FIFA playing when she decides she's got the hump, it's your god given right to play FIFA when you're not talking!
> ...


... I must apologies. Clearly had a few to many last night. Lol. 
"Word...." How strange.


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