# My bitch



## vlastan (May 6, 2002)

She chewed in about 30 pieces the little note that the postman left for a parcel. I just hope that they will give me the parcel tomorrow as it is not possible to re-assemble the note.

Why do they make these notes dog friendly? They must taste very nice to a dog. :roll:


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## Nando (Feb 5, 2004)

V,

what dog have you got? any pics?


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## vlastan (May 6, 2002)

She is a small Jack Russell. She is white with brown marks and small as she only weights 6kgs.

If you give me an email I can send you pictures. I have lots.


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## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

F'ing Bitch ..MUT!...One thing for it Vlast [smiley=behead.gif] [smiley=hanged.gif] [smiley=rifle.gif] [smiley=knife.gif] [smiley=chef.gif] [smiley=vampire.gif] Bet she would taste good spit roasted and her coat would make excellent fur for my coat and her bones nailed to the wall to hang up my coat with  :wink: :-*


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## Nando (Feb 5, 2004)

vlastan said:


> She is a small Jack Russell. She is white with brown marks and small as she only weights 6kgs.
> 
> If you give me an email I can send you pictures. I have lots.


I was expecting something like a Bullmastiff - I'm sure I read you had a big dog - obviously sarcasm... :roll:


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## paulatt (Oct 28, 2002)

vlastan said:


> She chewed in about 30 pieces the little note that the postman left for a parcel.


She is obviously bored at home all alone.
You must entertain her more! Maybe get her a male friend.....  :wink:


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## vlastan (May 6, 2002)

paulatt said:


> vlastan said:
> 
> 
> > She chewed in about 30 pieces the little note that the postman left for a parcel.
> ...


I just heard on the radio that dogs that like chew things are super intelligent.  Maybe she is an Einstein type of dog. :wink:

Get her a male friend? Are you suggesting that I give her a man to play with?  :wink:


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## DXN (May 18, 2002)

If you go to the post office with some form of ID and addressed paper ie to ID you and the address. If there is a parcel they'll let you have it.

Buy a cage to go on the letter box to stop it happening again.

Or

pull all the teeth out of your dog and liquidise her chum,!


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## W7 PMC (May 6, 2002)

vlastan said:


> She is a small Jack Russell. She is white with brown marks and small as she only weights 6kgs.
> 
> If you give me an email I can send you pictures. I have lots.


Fucking hate Jack Russels. The most useless breed of dog alive.

Get a mans dog, something big & butch.


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## vlastan (May 6, 2002)

The post that I had was special delivery so I had to sign in. I was lucky that the guy remembered me and he gave me my post despite having no card.

Why do you hate Jack Russells Paul? She is not useless at all. She is an adorable little dog that obeys me and I don't have to use a colar to control her when we go out for walks. I just shout her name and she comes to me.

Also a big dog would be a problem with the TT.

DXN, Elli will keep her teeth so she can bite you next time for being so awful to her.


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## vlastan (May 6, 2002)

And I can't put a cage behind the door as there is no space to open it then as there is a wall.


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## jonah (Aug 17, 2002)

W7 PMC said:


> vlastan said:
> 
> 
> > She is a small Jack Russell. She is white with brown marks and small as she only weights 6kgs.
> ...


Me too! all they do is yap yap yap, my ex used to have one and launched itself through a glass door to chase the postman


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## vlastan (May 6, 2002)

Jonah,

Small dogs can be mad as you describe yapping all the time. It is very important to train them when they are a few months old. If not, you lost the game and they are the boss at home.

I trained Elli when she was little and she is a well behaved dog. Also excellent guard dog too, scaring people coming around the home.


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## W7 PMC (May 6, 2002)

jonah said:


> W7 PMC said:
> 
> 
> > vlastan said:
> ...


My point exactly.

Jack Russels are fucking ugly, have hideous markings (spot on eye, my arse aka HMV) & i've only ever been bitten by a dog twice, both times being a Jack Russel 

Don't fucking care if they're trained properly, only benefit is that i can command it to come over to me so i can kick its bastard head in, rather than having to chase the little fucker.


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## jampott (Sep 6, 2003)

At least they don't get white hair all over your pristine trousers...


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## W7 PMC (May 6, 2002)

jampott said:


> At least they don't get white hair all over your pristine trousers...


Rather that than spend 2 mins in the same house as a Jack Russel.

I like almost all breeds of dog except JR's & those poncy little gay dogs, in fact all small dogs really.

Dalmations, along with Boxers are probably my favourite breeds.


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## CapTT (Mar 2, 2003)

I imagine this is V`s dog after training from master V:


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## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

I saw V's dog going mad in his garden once on video trying to attack his fence and trying to jump over this 6ft something thing :roll: . Yap.. Yap.. Yap.. Yap....I started to see a canny resemblance between Vlastan and his dog! :lol: 

Hmmm now then.....Spit roast or shoved on a scewer? How would little Elli look best! :twisted:


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## vlastan (May 6, 2002)

W7 PMC said:


> jonah said:
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> > W7 PMC said:
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If you find Jack Russells ugly then don't get one. In fact did you ever have a dog before? It doesn't look like. Dogs will only bite if they feel threatened and/or scared. So it was your fault tht you got bitten and serves you right. :lol:

CapTT...excellent picture, although my bitch isn't into interracial. :lol:

Abi, my dog is not so sexually advanced to know the spit roast position. In fact she is still a virgin. :lol:


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## r1 (Oct 31, 2002)

vlastan said:


> CapTT...excellent picture, although my bitch isn't into interracial. :lol:
> 
> Abi, my dog is not so sexually advanced to know the spit roast position. In fact she is still a virgin. :lol:


 :lol: Classic Vlastan. :lol: :lol:


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## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

LOL :lol:


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## dibblet (Sep 10, 2003)

:lol: dito :lol:


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## W7 PMC (May 6, 2002)

vlastan said:


> W7 PMC said:
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> > jonah said:
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Would never get one except for the purposes of target practice :lol:

Had a few 4 legged dogs in my time, but bigger more masculine dogs (mainly boxers) 

Dogs do not only bite when they feel threatened, they do have tempers & off days, so neither scenario was my fault & both were totally unprovoked, hence why i hate little snappy dogs.


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## LORD-OF-THE-RINGS (Jan 6, 2005)

anyone wanna start on cats? apart from the thundercats they were Kool!


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## A3DFU (May 7, 2002)

W7 PMC said:


> Get a mans dog, something big & butch.


Like a lovely Staffie 

Jack Russles are just squirty dogs who need to learn what to do with themselves because they are sooooooo excitable


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## vlastan (May 6, 2002)

A3DFU said:


> W7 PMC said:
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> 
> > Get a mans dog, something big & butch.
> ...


She knows how to shag my foot and lick her private parts...does this count? :lol:


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## A3DFU (May 7, 2002)

You forgot this bit 


> Jack Russles are just squirty dogs


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## Tfast Tfurious (Jan 19, 2005)

LORD-OF-THE-RINGS said:


> anyone wanna start on cats? apart from the thundercats they were Kool!


panthro was the man!


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