# Thousand Pounds An Inch Willy



## rogerman (Mar 7, 2006)

A man wakes up in hospital, bandaged from head to foot.

The doctor comes in and says 'Ah, I see you've reained consciousness.

Now you probably won't remember, but I'm afraid you were in a pile-up

on the motorway.'

'You're going to be OK, you'll walk again, everything seems to be OK,

but there is a bit of bad news and I'm going to break it to you as

gently as I can....

"Your Willy was chopped off in the wreck and we were

unable to find it."'

The bloke groans a bit (as you do) but the doctor goes on,

'We've checked your insurance and you've actually got Â£9,000

compensation coming to you and the good news is that we have the

technology now to build you a new Willy that will work just as well as

your old one, better in fact.

But the thing is, it doesn't come cheap. It is one thousand pounds an

inch.'

The bloke perks up a bit at this (as you would.)

'So it's a simple decision,' the doctor says, "You need to decide how

many inches you want. But it's something you'd better discuss with your

wife. I mean, if you had a five inch Willy before and you decide to go

for a nine inch Willy now, she might be a bit put out. But if you had a
nine

incher before and you decide only to invest in a five incher now, she

might be a bit disappointed.

So it's important that you consult with her to help you make the

decision.'

So the bloke agrees to talk with his wife

The doctor comes back the next day.

'So' he says, 'have you spoken with your wife?'

'I have.' says the chap.

'And has she helped you to make the decision?'

'Yes, she has' he says.

'And what is the decision?' asks the doctor.

'We're having a new kitchen.'


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## Mack The Knife (Jun 14, 2007)

[smiley=drummer.gif]...... [smiley=behead.gif]...... [smiley=whip.gif] ..... :lol:


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## p5owt (Oct 18, 2007)

:lol: :lol: :lol: mint


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## Angela (Jan 18, 2008)

:evil: :!: :arrow:

lightning


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## droopsnoot (Sep 5, 2002)

Oh, I thought it was going to be this one:

Three soldiers are injured in the Gulf War and shipped back home. Their CO comes in one day, and tells them:

"We're all really sorry you were injured, and there's a standard method of compensation. You can name any two parts of your body, we'll measure the distance between them, and pay you Â£1000 per inch in compensation."

The first soldier thinks for a second, then says "I'll go for fingertip to fingertip". The CO asks him to stretch his arms out, measures the distance, then says "OK, that's six feet give or take, so that's Â£72,000 compensation."

The second solder says "I'll have the tip of my toes to the top of my head", being 6' 3" tall that comes to Â£75000, so the CO gives him a cheque and shakes his hand.

He goes to the third soldier and asks him what parts he wants to use. The soldier says "I'll go for the tip of my willy to my balls", he says. "But that's only a few inches", says the CO, to which the soldier replies "yes, but my balls were shot off in Basra."


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