# Room 101 or TT01 if you prefer...



## lazerjules (Apr 18, 2009)

So you know the tv show room 101, well what would you put in and why?

Posted in the flame room, because you will probably need a rant to go with it.

I'll start:

Football - all of it, everything. Pointless game, attracts eejits and fighting, and creates far too much converstion about absolutely nothing.

Peppers - The green / red / yellow variety (not including chilli peppers), who the hell actually likes the taste of these things, absolutely the devil's food! One of the worst tasting things ever invented, I would happily eat my own earwax instead.


----------



## ScoobyTT (Aug 24, 2009)

Earwax croutons, table 7! :lol:

I'll go with:
People who don't know what lane they're in, even when there's only a choice of one. Yes, we "often" drive on the left over here. Why don't you so I can overtake you and arrive at my destination before the next ice age kicks in?

Adverts. All of them. I only need to see your product once to know that it's shit and I don't want it. The more you play your advert, the less I will consider buying your product. Saturation marketers like GoCompare can fuck right off. Celebritard Christmas adverts can also fuck off. Especially when it's still SODDING SEPTEMBER! Mascara: if your product's that bloody good why do you need to film with last inserts and enhance in post-production? And how many kinds of bloody mascara do women need anyway? Does she want the millionizing one, the volumizing one, the one that somehow makes you look like you've got more lashes, 5x volume, 7x volume, square brush, round brush, bent brush, long brush, short brush? Look love, it doesn't bloody matter. The chances are you're going to look like you've applied it with a catapult anyway.

Which brings me nicely onto... excessive choice. 
How mind kinds of fucking cheddar cheese does a supermarket need? Maybe a few main brands, and some local artisan ones. That's IT. Not an entire sodding aisle FULL of cheddar, cheddar, and more cheddar with the other types stuck on the end. Toothpaste: whitening, non-whitening, 24 hour protection, triple protection, bicarbonate of soda, enamelock, pro-argin, sensitive, non-sensitive, fresh mint, spear mint, cool mint. It tastes of fucking MINT! Just make one toothpaste that isn't abrasive, cleans my teeth, keeps them strong and helps prevent decay, tastes nice, and without fluoride, which does nothing. How many kinds of washing powder does there need to be? Non-bleaching for colours, and stuff for white clothes. THE END. Oh do I want the one that smells of "crushed jasmine and honeysuckle" or "nubile concubines and rosepetals" or "lavender with a hint of sunkissed diamonds"? If it smells of clean washing that'll do! Grab me a mars bar while you're there... do I want a king size, mars ice cream, a duo, a standard, medium, fun size, or uber-miniature from a box of Celebrations? Oh do you know what, I just fancied something that tasted a bit like Mars, but now I can't be arsed. I'll have some fruit. And don't ask about mineral water.

Dumbed down speech and accents. Take the stupid mares that do voiceovers for any "dance" albums. It's like a voiceover to a parade of illiteracy. You know the ones that talk like some marketing twat's vision of what an overemphasizing 14 year-old sounds like so they can relate to their target audience. Nobody actually talks like that. Unless they're a total asshat.

Fearne Cotton. Do I need a reason?

Shallots. Why does something so tasty have to come in such a tight, easy-breaking skin? I'd buy them because I like them, but I just can't be arsed to peel the bast'ds. There's an effort to reward ratio for peeling food that makes it worthwhile, and shallots just don't exceed. :lol:


----------



## Dash (Oct 5, 2008)

I'd agree with advertising. The world would be so much more lovely without it.

The thing I would get rid of over everything else though, is Mayonnaise. It's devil spunk. The stuff should be removed from existence. Screw world peace, I'd opt for the abolishment of Mayonnaise. Urgk.


----------



## dooka (Apr 28, 2006)

ScoobyTT said:


> Earwax croutons, table 7! :lol:
> 
> Fearne Cotton. Do I need a reason?


She is an effing idiot that woman, she only talks about what famous twat she has been hanging around with, but there again, Radio 1 is 99% shite. 3 songs, hit random and repeat, bung in some twat dj and there you go..


----------



## ScoobyTT (Aug 24, 2009)

Were you unfortunate enough to see any of the Fearne Meets... Peaches Geldof? When one waste of space meets another waste of space the outcome can only be a whole lot more wasted space. And shit television. At least, I presume it was shit. The first 2 seconds were shit. :lol: :lol:


----------



## dooka (Apr 28, 2006)

wished two waste of spaces getting together would create a black hole, and suck them in for good..


----------



## lazerjules (Apr 18, 2009)

I am adding Audi customer service (well most of it) to room 101.

JFC, what a bunch of self-righteous tossbags. Obviously Audi designs and builds a good car, thats why we are all here right!

I went into the parts/service dept today to pick up a bag of bolts, walked in, got completely ignored by 4 members of staff for a good five minutes, whilst they were chatting about some trivial nonsense, only to be told that they didn't know where the parts person was but she would be around shortly. 
So I waited whilst the 4 staff carried on talking shit, during my wait (6 minutes), a woman came in, she was asking the staff about a locking wheel nut tool, she had just tried to have some new tyres fitted and the tool was missing, the last time she had any work done was a service by audi. Oh no, said the audi clerk, we only use our own tools, so you have lost it, we can't help!

So room 101 in they go!


----------



## Dash (Oct 5, 2008)

I'm surprised if that was Bristol Audi - they're owned by the same people who own Bath Audi & Bath VW, both of which I've been nothing but impressed with their customer service (which coming from me is praise indeed).


----------



## smurfeTTe (Jul 3, 2010)

1. I would have to agree with ads like 'go compare' - I will never use that website just because of the advert for it.
2. People who don't know how to use a slip road - it's not hard!! Do not drive to the end of the chevrons then stop - that vast expanse of road ahead of you is there to allow you to adjust your speed to merge with traffic, it's not a mirage!
3. People who have no lane discipline on roundabouts - where did you people learn to drive?? Pick one lane and stick to it!
4. Reality tv shows 
5. Mushrooms - yukk!


----------



## Dash (Oct 5, 2008)

I'll pick whatever damn lane I want, and if I can't decide I'll have both thank you very much!

Agree entirely with the mushrooms, they are not nice at all.


----------



## hanzo (Apr 6, 2009)

ScoobyTT said:


> Earwax croutons, table 7! :lol:
> 
> I'll go with:
> People who don't know what lane they're in, even when there's only a choice of one. Yes, we "often" drive on the left over here. Why don't you so I can overtake you and arrive at my destination before the next ice age kicks in?
> ...


+1

brilliant!!!!!!!!!


----------



## fishface (Nov 25, 2006)

Any adverts on this forum that have nothing to do with TT's :x


----------



## hanzo (Apr 6, 2009)

Soy Milk......


----------



## ScoobyTT (Aug 24, 2009)

Lloyds TSB and their stupid big-nosed, beady-eyed, stick figure mutant WANKERS with that shitty tune "ah ah ah ahah". Oh give it a rest big nose. And the crappy strapline: "For the journey." What journey? The journey to conk city?

:lol: :lol:


----------



## lazerjules (Apr 18, 2009)

John Barroman!

He is everywhere you bloody look, singing, dancing, acting (well trying), big cheesy stupid grinning tosspot.


----------



## fishface (Nov 25, 2006)

Sebastian Coe and his constant bigging up of the Olympics, which we can't afford, don't need and are bound to cock up if that stupid red bus in China was anything to go by :x


----------



## London (Sep 25, 2009)

lazerjules said:


> John Barroman!
> 
> He is everywhere you bloody look, singing, dancing, acting (well trying), big cheesy stupid grinning tosspot.


Good call, so long "Mr Saturday Night"!


----------



## ScoobyTT (Aug 24, 2009)

fishface said:


> Sebastian Coe and his constant bigging up of the Olympics, which we can't afford, don't need and are bound to cock up if that stupid red bus in China was anything to go by :x


What's the news today? Some crud about there being two years to go. Am I supposed to be excited yet or something? :lol:

Red bus: check.
Phone box: check.
Some hedging from Sussex: check.
An ageing rocker or talent show winner: check. 
The big opening ceremony highlighting thousands of years of British cultural and technological contributions to humanity: TBA!!


----------



## fishface (Nov 25, 2006)

and....Bum Bags and Primark


----------



## ScoobyTT (Aug 24, 2009)

"Coming up..." Bloody TV programs that feel the need to remind you every few minutes what's coming up in the next few minutes. Do they think we're retards with no attention span? Take an article, chop it into 3 minute chunks, spread them out over half an hour or an hour, interspersed with "coming up". :x


----------



## Dash (Oct 5, 2008)

Don't forget the "So far this episode we've seen..."


----------



## ScoobyTT (Aug 24, 2009)

:lol: OH god yes, and I'd forgotten what happened 4 minutes ago too. How to fill an hour's programming when you've actually only got 10 minutes of material. :x OK, so we're all senile retards with no attention span. The funny thing is, with all the filler material and pointless crap, the only thing I usually end up forgetting is why I thought the programme might be actually worth watching in the first place! Oh the irony... :lol:

And why the F do the BBC do it? I had the mistfortune to accidentally have "Fake Britain" on whilst clearing up the other night. I think I heard the programme jingle every few minutes after the obligatory "coming up", "coming up", "coming up", "still to come", which repeated from the cockney pork chops of Dominican Littlechef made me want to throw something bigger and harder at the TV than ever before. All that was really coming up was that some idiot had paid for a service that was obviously too good to be true, but the BBC thought we needed 5 reminders, 27 jingle loops, and 3 minutes of material of which only 10 seconds would have sufficed, in order to get the point across. In the end I had to stop clearing up to find the remote and switch off so I could carry on without wanting to pummel the TV :lol: :lol:


----------

