# Parking fuckwit



## Gone (May 5, 2009)

May 2009. After much research I buy a beautiful Mk1 TT.
July 2009. I come back home from the shops to find a lovely smear of white paint and deep scratching over the o/s rear wheel arch and bumper where some stupid bitch in a white 4x4 has failed to unpark her can properly. I know it was a stupid bitch in a white 4x4 because some civic minded person left a note - without the reg number. I take photos and clean it up best I can with polish etc. I leave it as I've already had it serviced and bought tyres.
January 2010. I've moved house to a cul de sac in a nicer area, where there should be less hazard from passing drunks and rat-run traffic. I come down to the car in the morning to find that some bell end or other has attempted a 3 point turn in a space barely big enough to turn a g-wizz and as a result, the old scratch has been replaced by a massive hand-sized scuff right through to the plastic. Wanker.
April 2010. Recovered from the usual January poverty I take the car to RTune and get the bumper repaired. Pretty again.
May 2010. 2 weeks later I park in an empty car park in the far corner in the biggest space going leaving colossal amounts of room down the o/s. When I come back 30 minutes later, there is a smear of white paint and a deep scratch 4-5 inches long and 1 inch deep on my newly painted bumper - right through the paint again. So that's a few hundred quid down the shitter and a call out for chips away or such like.

I mean who are these wankers? What the fuck are they thinking? "Hold on, my car was moving and now it's not. What could be stopping it? That big car pressing against my bumper? Nah... give it some more gas!"

I just cannot comprehend people who drive like this. What is wrong with them? Are they mental?

If you are one of these people, you had better pray I never see you doing it because I will drag you from your car and shove the nearest thing to hand so far up your arse it makes your eyes water, then I will slap you around your silly face until your still wet eyes pop out of their sockets. Then, I will shove them up your arse too. You twats.

Now fuck off and leave my car alone.

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## bella_beetle2.0 (Feb 9, 2010)

I dont under stand people like that - and i bet you have tried the "ill park HERE where there is no-one and a million other spaces over that way >>> you come back and some fuckwit has parked next to you!! :evil:

what you need is what i have.....postet notes! Once Me and glen were in a car park, we came out of the cinema, this other car was parked so close glen had to reverse so i could get in, I then realised i had something in my bad what someone brought me for xmas.... it read

Thank you for parking so fucking close to my car 
next time leave a can opener so i can get in
people like you should take the fucking bus

Only thing is just as i put it on her windscreen she walked back to her car!
We have never moved so fast out of a car park :lol: :lol:


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## Gone (May 5, 2009)

Brilliant, I will make some of those. Hopefully my mrs will not notice them in the glovebox

What makes me really mad is

1. There were around 60 spaces in that car park, and only 5 or so were taken

2. I'd deliberately parked right in the corner against a wall in the biggest space going, in an attempt to prevent door-denting

3. Some crapweasel STILL decides to park next to the nicest car in the car park, and STILL manages to damage it!!!

Post its required. Except they'd left when I got back, and ANOTHER car had parked next to me in a car park that was STILL virtually empty.

[smiley=bomb.gif]

I might need some anger management


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## TT_Tesh (Feb 22, 2009)

You need a clifford alarm. When someone gets too close its goes off. Even if they are reversing and approaching slowly... [smiley=book2.gif]


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## roddy (Dec 25, 2008)

TT_Tesh said:


> You need a clifford alarm. When someone gets too close its goes off. Even if they are reversing and approaching slowly... [smiley=book2.gif]


now that is a good idea,,, i remember some time ago one of the upmarket motorbikes had an alarm which said something like,, "" help,i am being stollen !!"", something like that with a polite message fending the toss pots off !!! 
like "" fk off you toss pot !! ""


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## ScoobyTT (Aug 24, 2009)

badyaker said:


> May 2010. 2 weeks later I park in an empty car park in the far corner in the biggest space going leaving colossal amounts of room down the o/s. When I come back 30 minutes later, there is a smear of white paint and a deep scratch 4-5 inches long and 1 inch deep on my newly painted bumper - right through the paint again.
> 
> I mean who are these wankers?


My money's on a return visit from the stupid bitch in the white 4x4!!



badyaker said:


> What the fuck are they thinking? "Hold on, my car was moving and now it's not. What could be stopping it? That big car pressing against my bumper? Nah... give it some more gas!"


They're cocks. Plain and simple. Their stupidity and lack of spacial awareness knows no limits when in an empty fucking car park they can still hit the only thing in the area they're trying to park in. [smiley=bomb.gif] [smiley=bomb.gif] How much of a gold-plated asshat do you have to be?! How do these people get through a 24 hour period without shitting in the street? How do they drive anywhere without removing themselves from the gene pool? WHY don't they remove themselves from the gene pool?

And yes, yes they are mental. And they're allowed to breed. [smiley=freak.gif] [smiley=rifle.gif]


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## Charlie (Dec 15, 2006)

FUCK IT gutted for you mate [smiley=bigcry.gif]

Charlie


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## T3RBO (Dec 9, 2003)

That's a bad run of luck mate... they say things come in three's so lets hope your safe now


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## Gone (May 5, 2009)

Cheers for the comment guys glad it's not just me that gets really wound up by these spazwits

Might put the anger management on hold for a day or two, there'll be something else along to wind me up before long

Council have said they'll look through the CCTV.... so fingers crossed they'll ID the culprit and send me some good footage, and finger's crossed A Plan and their underwriters/whoever offer some decent customer service, and fingers crossed the culprit capitulates and owns up.

One of these days I'm having a complete re-spray in British Racing Green anyway....


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## Dash (Oct 5, 2008)

The people you are trying to understand are those from the cess-end of the gene-pool. You're trying to apply human actions, like common decency and respect for fellow man to creatures that really aren't part of the same genus.

Unfortunately there are no breeding restrictions on this animals so their numbers are spreading rapidly. Be careful of their native habitat where their numbers can be dangerous. Such as the Tesco car-park.


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## ScoobyTT (Aug 24, 2009)

Dash said:


> The people you are trying to understand are those from the cess-end of the gene-pool. You're trying to apply human actions, like common decency and respect for fellow man to creatures that really aren't part of the same genus.
> 
> Unfortunately there are no breeding restrictions on this animals so their numbers are spreading rapidly. Be careful of their native habitat where their numbers can be dangerous. Such as the Tesco car-park.


 :lol: :lol: :lol: It's funny because it's true! I really hate the way these beings are the most liekly to breed, and the least likely to produce useful members of society.

Barely aware of their own existence let alone yours. They're sub-yeast, really. :lol:


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## lamps (Nov 16, 2009)

Sorry to hear about your disasters mate,some people just dont give a toss! Saw a woman in my local Tesco's carpark reverse straight in to the side of a vehicle behind her, BANG! massive dent,looked round and just drove off!
Then tonight i park in the most remote spot in the corner of Halfrauds and some tosser in a peugeot parks so close to my Roadster that i thought i would have to lower the roof to climb in! Thanks wanker you may be built like a f*cking rake but i aint!

Lamps


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## Girl Smiffy (Feb 19, 2010)

Hope the council come through for you mate. Sounds like a terrible run of bad luck. And just unbelievable about how some people have no idea when it comes to driving/ parking!

But on a positive note, I have learnt loads of new names to call these "bad parking people". Crapweasel is m favourite :-D


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## CamV6 (Oct 26, 2003)

I like the post-it idea, but i'd upgrade to A4 sized printed sticky/self adhesive labels. They'll have a heck of a time getting it all off their windscreen, which will also give them plenty of time to reflect of their misdemeanours! :lol:


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## taTTy (Oct 27, 2007)

A roll of pre-printed sticky white paper address lables would be prefect .... they are an absolute bastard to remove ... you can get the top layers off but it leave all the sticky backing behind :twisted:


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## Gone (May 5, 2009)

Girl Smiffy said:


> Hope the council come through for you mate. Sounds like a terrible run of bad luck. And just unbelievable about how some people have no idea when it comes to driving/ parking!
> 
> But on a positive note, I have learnt loads of new names to call these "bad parking people". Crapweasel is m favourite :-D


I do like that one, my mate once used it to describe a slimy French who stole the object of his affections. Crapweasel once, crapweasel always.

The council did have CCTV but there is a large tree obscuring. Wank.


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