# some double-entendres to make you smile !



## conlechi (May 6, 2006)

12 of the finest (unintentional) double-entendres ever aired on British TV and radio

*1. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator - 'This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother.'

2. New Zealand Rugby Commentator - 'Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him.'

3. Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator - 'And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!'

4. Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 - 'Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew.'

5. US PGA Commentator - 'One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them ..... Oh my god !! What have I just said??'

6. Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on 'Time Team Live' said: 'You'd eat beaver if you could get it.'

7. A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, 'So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?' Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard!

8. Steve Ryder covering the US Masters: 'Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69 yesterday.'

9. Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on 'Look North' said: 'There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this. '

10 Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on 'Sky Sports': 'Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets.'

11. Michael Buerk on watching Philippa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked: 'They seem cold out there. They're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts.'

12. Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: 'Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny; other weeks he prefers to do it by himself.'*


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## Hark (Aug 23, 2007)

They're superb.


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## YELLOW_TT (Feb 25, 2004)

:lol: :lol: last one is defo the best


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## Kell (May 28, 2002)

Some classics missed off:

Oval Test 1976, England -v- West Indies, Brian Johnston - referring to Michael Holding and Peter Willey.

The bowler's Holding, the batsman's Willey.


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## Private Prozac (Jul 7, 2003)

Kell said:


> Some classics missed off:
> 
> Oval Test 1976, England -v- West Indies, Brian Johnston - referring to Michael Holding and Peter Willey.
> 
> The bowler's Holding, the batsman's Willey.


So where are the others then?


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## Blade_76 (Aug 11, 2004)

My fav all time one has to be Big Ron, was a world cup game I think (been trying to find it for ages). I was sat at a mates house watching it, this young lad had a shot that went MILES over and we both almost wet ourselves as Big Ron said...

"The young lad just wanted to shoot his bolt"... :lol:


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## Kell (May 28, 2002)

Private Prozac said:


> Kell said:
> 
> 
> > Some classics missed off:
> ...


Have you heard of a search engine by the name of Google?


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## sirmattylad (Feb 6, 2009)

Quality!! :lol:


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## Apaddler (Nov 19, 2008)

There are some superb cricketing sledges floating around too, but I can't remember all the right names. But you can find them!


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## Private Prozac (Jul 7, 2003)

Kell said:


> Have you heard of a search engine by the name of Google?


 :lol:

If I search, "double-entendres", God only knows what may appear!!


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## Kell (May 28, 2002)

Private Prozac said:


> Kell said:
> 
> 
> > Have you heard of a search engine by the name of Google?
> ...


Well you get these.

Jack Burnicle was talking about Colin Edwards' tyre choice on World Superbike racing: "Colin had a hard on in practice earlier, and I bet he wished he had a hard on now."

Chris Tarrant discussing the first Millionaire winner Judith Keppel on This Morning: "She was practising fastest finger first by herself in bed last night."

'Winning Post's' Stewart Machin commentating on jockey Tony McCoy's formidable lead: "Tony has a quick look between his legs and likes what he sees."

Ross King discussing relays with champion runner Phil Redmond: "Well Phil, tell us about your amazing third leg."

Cricketer Neil Fairbrother hit a single during a Durham v Lancashire match, inspiring Bobby Simpson to observe: "With his lovely soft hands he just tossed it off."

James Allen interviewing Ralf Schumacher at a Grand Prix, asked: "What does it feel like being rammed up the backside by Barrichello?"

Metro Radio - "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field."


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## droopsnoot (Sep 5, 2002)

Private Prozac said:


> If I search, "double-entendres", God only knows what may appear!!


Woman walks into a bar and asks for a double-entendre, so the barman gives her one.


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## DXN (May 18, 2002)

'Bottom'

The gas man came to look at my meter.........

&
Roger's profanasaurus is a toilet must


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## Wallsendmag (Feb 12, 2004)

:lol:


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## JayC (Nov 12, 2008)

:lol: :lol: :lol: awesome!


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