# They're my parking spaces .........



## Private Prozac (Jul 7, 2003)

.....SO FUCK OFF!!!

I've got 2 parking spaces outside my house. Both have my house number painted in big fuck off white numbers on them. So why do the pissy people in the flats opposite insist on sticking their fucking heaps of shit in one of the spaces?

OK, so I've only got the one car but what happens when I get visitors and you've stuck your shitty, red tampon of a N reg Astra in one of the spaces?

If I get home I park in the fucking middle but know that one day it'll piss them off so much they'll do something to the car as if to say 'suck on that ya flash git'. So it's a loose loose situation really. Park in the middle and hope they don't take a swipe one night or let the greasy fucks park there and possibly open their door onto it.

You can't have anything these days without the piss poor scroungers in housing assoc' gaffs sticking their fucking awe in can ya!!!!


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## dj c225 (Nov 3, 2004)

Clamp them :lol:

That will teach the buggers.


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## dj c225 (Nov 3, 2004)

Or if its your space, rent it out and make some dosh


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## Fab 4 TT (Sep 28, 2004)

What about one of these?



















......... :?


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## Nando (Feb 5, 2004)

what happened to your V Dub? That should be in bay #2!


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## DXN (May 18, 2002)

Buy a crappy old moped and park it in the middle of the second bay.
Wheel it off when you have guests.
LOL

A removable post is a good idea though.


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## Private Prozac (Jul 7, 2003)

Can't put anything like a raised bollard as renting! :?

Would like to clamp them but then it goes back to winding the pikeys up so that they may do something to the TT! :?

Sold the V Dub :? but made a 300 quid profit!


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## Nando (Feb 5, 2004)

hire a skip :idea: :roll:


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## Private Prozac (Jul 7, 2003)

What .........you mean a Roadster!!! :wink:

Puts flame suit on and fucking legs it!!!


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## genocidalduck (May 19, 2005)

I had the same problem but i've only got one space but some twat would take my space. I saw him once and asked him nicely if he would not park in my bay. But he carried on even if his bay was empty he continued to do it. So i caught him outside again oneday and said to him look mate can you not park in my space as the rent i pay also includes the parking space and i dont like paying for it so you can park in it. He said well its not my fault i get home from work around midnight and your space is empty so i guess your not coming home that night and the missus parks her car in ours so where else am i ment to park :roll:. After i pointed out the visitor parking area i said "you have no excuse. Plus the fact i now know your doing it to wind me up, so if i find your car in my bay in future ill remove it myself and dump it in the Thames.  since then he parks in the visitor bay.


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## GW1970 (Jul 4, 2005)

I had the same problem, some gentle persuasion was required to stop people using my parking space. A neighbour of mine nicked a traffic cone and puts that in his space when he's out. :lol:


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## Hannibal (Dec 1, 2003)

Why not move somewhere nicer?
:? 
H


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## jampott (Sep 6, 2003)

Hannibal said:


> Why not move somewhere nicer?
> :?
> H


agreed 

All the parking for our "estate" is off-road - or at least it should be (everyone has rear carports or external garages, no internal garages)

Still, when I moved in, someone from 3 doors away took to parking their N reg BMW right outside my house. Its a public road, so they had every right to do so, but it still wasn't particularly pleasing. Their own house was directly opposite a T junction, and the people just opposite on the corner park a small van outside, so they can't usually park outside their own house.

I left a little note, asking them to refrain, and have actually started parking my car outside the front of my house too, because it makes rear access to get my bike (and dogs) out a lot easier (won't have to when I sell my Land Rover which is currently taking up my other car port!

In fairness, they did stop it. I said I didn't have a problem if they put it there, but PLEASE could they move it as soon as practical, and not leave it outside for days on end...

It stopped, and I haven't had any problems with it...


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## YELLOW_TT (Feb 25, 2004)

auditt260bhp said:


> What .........you mean a Roadster!!! :wink:
> 
> Puts flame suit on and fucking legs it!!!


now now lets not start all that again :wink:


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## BreTT (Oct 30, 2002)

I'm missing something. What makes them your spaces? The house number painted on the road? Is this on a private estate?


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## Private Prozac (Jul 7, 2003)

Hannibal said:


> Why not move somewhere nicer?
> :?
> H


Fucking cheek! :wink:

It's the usual story in this piss poor excuse of a country that they build nice houses and have to stick some houses/flats up for the pissy scroungers in this world! So, whilst I have a very nice rented house, it doesn't mean I could have choosen my neighbours as with anywhere!!!!!


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## BreTT (Oct 30, 2002)

auditt260bhp said:


> So, whilst I have a very nice rented house, it doesn't mean I could have choosen my neighbours as with anywhere!!!!!


Are you too poor to buy a house?


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## Kell (May 28, 2002)

You think you have problems you should see outside ours.

The Estate we have is a mixture of houses and flats and unfortunately the people in the flats were mis-sold their parking spaces.

Some paid extra for two but were only given one. WE've had meetings with the council and they managed to allocate another 20 or so spaces by getting rid of some grass.

The problem is that they work out how many dwellings their are and use a set figure (can't remember what it is now) to calculate how many spaces they need to cater for.

Unfortunately, what tends to compound the problem is the house owners not using their garages. so they park one car on the drive, and one on the road, then fill their garage full of crap. :?

So while most of the complainants at the last meeting were house owners, when the guy from the council asked how many used their garage to park their car in, the figure was woefully low.

The other problem is that the people in the flats park either side of the road making it just wide enough to get a car through - which would be fine if it was also not the only access for the binmen or worse yet, for the firemen.


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## Private Prozac (Jul 7, 2003)

BreTT said:


> I'm missing something. What makes them your spaces? The house number painted on the road? Is this on a private estate?


You obviously are not so thick to not undertand that the spaces are part of the house title deeds and therefore belong to the property. Does that mean that they are also entitled to pitch a fucking tent in the front garden too! :?

And for your info' I'm renting because I have an ex-wife who's taken my fucking house!


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## BreTT (Oct 30, 2002)

auditt260bhp said:


> BreTT said:
> 
> 
> > I'm missing something. What makes them your spaces? The house number painted on the road? Is this on a private estate?
> ...


Clearly too thick as it was completely obvious from your post. I wasn't being difficult, just curious. Buy hey, I know now not to mess with you. I'll just go back to reading the beano.


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## Hannibal (Dec 1, 2003)

auditt260bhp said:


> Hannibal said:
> 
> 
> > Why not move somewhere nicer?
> ...


[smug git]
I still stand buy my comment  If you live in a nice part of the world, as I do  then not only am I furnished with a private road, I have a private drive and a nice big double garage* too. Oh and the nearest 'pissy scroungers' live miles away which is the most important point!
[/smug git]

Good luck with your lose-lose situation.

H

*Ok, so the private road is by the side of the house and the double garage is too small for two cars (unless I get 2 smart cars), but I can dream


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## digimeisTTer (Apr 27, 2004)

auditt260bhp said:


> And for your info' I'm renting because I have an ex-wife who's taken my fucking house!


I hear ya! (well half anyways)


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## digimeisTTer (Apr 27, 2004)

auditt260bhp said:


> And for your info' I'm renting because I have an ex-wife who's taken my fucking house!


I hear ya! (well half anyways)

that's her in the passenger seat


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## L7 (Aug 27, 2004)

:lol: :lol: I like this thread I agree with H, if you moved you wouldn't have a problem, we live down a private drive and have 5 garages and parking spaces for about another 5 cars (comfortably) I've never found someone parked in my bay who shouldn't be there 

After all why are you worried about them damaging the car it's only a TT not like it's a Porker or something more exclusive is it :? :wink:

Isn't it lose lose or are you just loose


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## L7 (Aug 27, 2004)

digimeisTTer said:


> auditt260bhp said:
> 
> 
> > And for your info' I'm renting because I have an ex-wife who's taken my fucking house!
> ...


Why don't you just photoshop her out of the pic


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## BreTT (Oct 30, 2002)

L7 said:


> digimeisTTer said:
> 
> 
> > auditt260bhp said:
> ...


...and replace her with someone you do want in your sig pic...


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## GW1970 (Jul 4, 2005)

In this part of the world, to buy a house with a private drive would cost an absolute fortune. I live in a brand new 2 bed apartment, for the same money outside the SE, I could have bought a detached 4 bed house with double garage etc.

In the congested SE, communal parking areas are something many of us have to put up with. :?


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## John C (Jul 5, 2002)

BreTT said:


> I'm missing something. What makes them your spaces? The house number painted on the road? Is this on a private estate?


Don't let this concern you Brett - it's just a thread for skeemies who have to cohabit in 'flats'. Just go back to your county pile with Aga and parking for 53 cars...

:wink:


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## BreTT (Oct 30, 2002)

jacTT225 said:


> BreTT said:
> 
> 
> > I'm missing something. What makes them your spaces? The house number painted on the road? Is this on a private estate?
> ...


Cheers John - I was just trying to understand how the oiks live. We've had to cut back to 51 parking spaces though, I needed somewhere to park the lawn tractor and quad bike. By the way, I am thinking of selling the Aga; it is only a two oven model and with all the home baking that Fi does, it needs to be replaced with a four oven model.


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## garyc (May 7, 2002)

BreTT said:


> jacTT225 said:
> 
> 
> > BreTT said:
> ...


What's the spec? And has it been modded/caned?


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## BreTT (Oct 30, 2002)

garyc said:


> BreTT said:
> 
> 
> > jacTT225 said:
> ...


If you're serious, PM me as we are getting rid of it.


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## Private Prozac (Jul 7, 2003)

I'll have it. I could live in one side and park the motor in the other!! :wink:


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## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

Fab 4 TT said:


>


God! The things I could do with this now! :lol:  :wink:


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## Private Prozac (Jul 7, 2003)

Bit on the small side for you isn't it babe?

..........or were you thinking of using it widthways!!!! :wink:


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## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

:lol: .... wotcha 260 darling how's life . Widthways yeah in my mouth to shut me right up!    As for that Brett's Aga well I would take him up on that offer of shoving it in that spare space you have going! My oh my what fun you could have  :twisted: :wink:


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## John C (Jul 5, 2002)

An Aga _and _a TT in the drive - oh how to get the neighbours talking!


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## John C (Jul 5, 2002)

BreTT said:



> quad bike


Lucky bastard - you are the only man I know how is lucky enough to have a quad bike which looks like a monster truck when you sit on it! :twisted:


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## L8_0RGY (Sep 12, 2003)

But bollards in these spaces.

http://www.autopa.co.uk/

We are doing a development in Earls Court are rather unusually for Central London there is an area round the back of the house which we are going to sell as two parking spaces. When the development is complete we are going to put a bollard in each space.

We've had a couple of incidents where people have parked in these spaces so I or the builders can't park there but I have put a Penalty Charge sticker (saved from when I've got a parking ticket!!) on their windscreen saying their car will be clamped next time it's parked there and that has seemed to stop them.


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## dee (Jun 3, 2005)

http://www.autolok.co.uk/Pages/KTARp.htm

I have these on my driveway at both homes.. infront of the garage to stop forced entry in essex

and just recently (still under construction) in the londn home placed at the front of the drive thereby preventing lift and removal of cars off the drive or the unauthorisded use of my 3 parking spaces 

they drop into a tube leaving a flat disc which looks fine on block paved drives (or otherwise) and pull up and lock up as a physical and visual deterrent.

you need to establish if you are allowed to do any such work on your parking spaces.


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## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

dee said:


> http://www.autolok.co.uk/Pages/KTARp.htm
> 
> I have these on my driveway at both homes.. infront of the garage to stop forced entry in essex


Blimey ESSEX eh?  . Are we gangsters here?  :-*


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## dee (Jun 3, 2005)

^Abi^ said:


> dee said:
> 
> 
> > http://www.autolok.co.uk/Pages/KTARp.htm
> ...


no but yes bu no but.... the pikey filth love a garage in a remote farm location.... thieving bar stewards made off with my tractor a few years back...

oi! gerrof my land!


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## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

dee said:


> the pikey filth love a garage in a remote farm location.... thieving bar stewards made off with my tractor a few years back...


Oh wicked you had a tractor! Cool! Do you have a combineharvester? Always wanted a ride on one of those! 8)


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## dee (Jun 3, 2005)

^Abi^ said:


> dee said:
> 
> 
> > the pikey filth love a garage in a remote farm location.... thieving bar stewards made off with my tractor a few years back...
> ...


got a new one now, its bolted to the ground, engine disabled, alarmed and locked in a garage, behind 2 security posts per garage door all behind an electric gate with 8 camera cctv and sodium up lighting... entrance to the garage is something along the lines of a scene form indiana jones.... 

farmer who owns the fields surrounding mine has a HUUUUUUUUGE combine harvester - truly an amazing site to watch - monster machine and very therapeutic to watch when leveling 100+ acres !


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## L8_0RGY (Sep 12, 2003)

Now I really do have something to gripe about.

Went to my building site in Earls Court about an hour ago and when I got there I found a shitty F reg rustin Austin parked there (the other space is taken up by the skip).

:evil: :x :evil: :x :evil:

The builders - who are Polish and only speak about three words of English - said they didn't know whose car it was and asked me if I wanted them to put nails in the tyres :lol:  :lol:

I said no but they did a couple of other things to the car which is sure to fuck the owner off when he comes to get his rustbucket and I guess will make him park it on a meter the next time. 

I actually quite enjoyed this as the day was dragging on and I was getting extremely bored, at least this amused me for a short while


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## L8_0RGY (Sep 12, 2003)

Now I really do have something to gripe about.

Went to my building site in Earls Court about an hour ago and when I got there I found a shitty F reg rusting Austin parked there (the other space is taken up by the skip).

:evil: :x :evil: :x :evil:

The builders - who are Polish and only speak about three words of English - said they didn't know whose car it was and asked me if I wanted them to put nails in the tyres :lol:  :lol:

I said no but they did a couple of other things to the car which is sure to fuck the owner off when he comes to get his rustbucket and I guess will make him park it on a meter the next time. 

I actually quite enjoyed this as the day was dragging on and I was getting extremely bored, at least this amused me for a short while


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## BreTT (Oct 30, 2002)

L8_0RGY said:


> I said no but they did a couple of other things to the car which is sure to fuck the owner off when he comes to get his rustbucket and I guess will make him park it on a meter the next time.
> 
> I actually quite enjoyed this as the day was dragging on and I was getting extremely bored, at least this amused me for a short while


Does this mean that someone, somewhere is complaining that his car has been vandalised?


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## jampott (Sep 6, 2003)

BreTT said:


> L8_0RGY said:
> 
> 
> > I said no but they did a couple of other things to the car which is sure to fuck the owner off when he comes to get his rustbucket and I guess will make him park it on a meter the next time.
> ...


I hope not. IMHO there is no difference doing it to a rusty old Austin from doing it to a TT. To someone, its still their car... :roll:


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## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

jampott said:


> BreTT said:
> 
> 
> > L8_0RGY said:
> ...


Awww suppose the little Bucket of rustheap Austin belonged to a little frail old lady or a very sweet old man who didn't have much money, parked it there because it was convenient for them just for a few minutes to save their old legs etc because they needed to do something, that wouldn't take them long. They then come back to it all damaged!


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## L8_0RGY (Sep 12, 2003)

^Abi^ said:


> jampott said:
> 
> 
> > BreTT said:
> ...


To clear all your consciences it wasn't damaged, the builders simply played a prank on the owner.

I think it belonged to one of the tenants who moved out a month or so ago as a similar car was parked there when the kitchen people were on site and couldn't park their van.

Just to clarify therefore, no vandilism caused, as Jampo said to vandalise the car would far outweigh the initial misdemenour and it's not something I would do. Hope everyone can sleep tonight after this clarification :roll: :wink:


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## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

L8_0RGY said:


> To clear all your consiences it wasn't damaged, the builders simply played a prank of the owner.
> 
> I think it belonged to one of the tenants who moved out a month or so ago as a similar car was parked there when the kitchen people were on site and couldn't park their van.
> 
> Just to clarify therefore, no vandilism caused, as Jampo said to vandalise the car would far outweigh the initial misdemenour and it's not something I would do. Hope everyone can sleep tonight after this clarification :roll: :wink:


Knew you wouldn't have a nasty steak in you deep down .


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## L8_0RGY (Sep 12, 2003)

^Abi^ said:


> L8_0RGY said:
> 
> 
> > To clear all your consiences it wasn't damaged, the builders simply played a prank of the owner.
> ...


A nasty steak?

I really would've felt ill if I'd have one of them in me :roll: :lol:


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## dee (Jun 3, 2005)




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## jampott (Sep 6, 2003)

Dare I axe what has happened here?


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## dee (Jun 3, 2005)

audi customer services car park....


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## YELLOW_TT (Feb 25, 2004)

jampott said:


> Dare I axe what has happened here?


i think it was an axe-e-dent :lol: :lol:


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## dee (Jun 3, 2005)

YELLOW_TT said:


> jampott said:
> 
> 
> > Dare I axe what has happened here?
> ...


in a pick-ing space


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## jampott (Sep 6, 2003)

Maybe they picked on the wrong car?


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## westty (Jan 3, 2004)

Audi A8 , four cup holders, 6 Pickaxe holders. 8)


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## scottk (Nov 7, 2004)

Note on window says "my other car is a Pick-up truck"....

Thats just not funny at all is it? sometimes I don't know why I click on submit...


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## Dont I Recognise You (Oct 10, 2003)

Salesman: "Well officer, when I told him to go and pick any car he liked the look of, I didn't think..."

or

"Doc returns from his night of passion with Snow White..."


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## scottk (Nov 7, 2004)

I wonder if they add extra grip?


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## genocidalduck (May 19, 2005)

seems a very picky customer :roll:


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## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

Poor old snow white!


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## L8_0RGY (Sep 12, 2003)

This is now the third time this prick has parked in our spaces.

The builders unfortunately :roll: had been up to their tricks again

I remembered he actually used to be the tenant of the 1st floor flat and phoned him to tell him if he parks there again his car will be clamped.

He, of course, claimed it wasn't his car but I remembered it and I should think this will stop him from parking there now.


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## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

Orgy :- Ever thought about becoming a car park vulture/attendant? :lol:  :-*


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## L8_0RGY (Sep 12, 2003)

^Abi^ said:


> Orgy :- Ever thought about becoming a car park vulture/attendant? :lol:  :-*


It's an idea yes. :wink:


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## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

L8_0RGY said:


> ^Abi^ said:
> 
> 
> > Orgy :- Ever thought about becoming a car park vulture/attendant? :lol:  :-*
> ...


Oh yes! Orgy in uniform! [smiley=whip.gif] :wink:


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## scoTTy (May 6, 2002)

A suggestion for the "I have two parking spaces but one car" issue.

I've know someone who had similar problems. They simply put some pot plants about a 1/3 in from the left of the left parking space and about 1/3 in from the right of the right parking space.

This leaves a good size (but only one car) spot to park in the middle. 8)

If I found someone had then parked their car in that I'd attach a rope and drag it out the way.

Hope the above helps as it solved the problem for this person.


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## genocidalduck (May 19, 2005)

scoTTy said:


> A suggestion for the "I have two parking spaces but one car" issue.
> 
> I've know someone who had similar problems. They simply put some pot plants about a 1/3 in from the left of the left parking space and about 1/3 in from the right of the right parking space.
> 
> ...


Or after a night out ask your mates back for a few at your place then drunkenly proceed to bump the car into the middle of the road  Much funnier when you are all pissed up


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## L8_0RGY (Sep 12, 2003)

genocidalduck said:


> scoTTy said:
> 
> 
> > A suggestion for the "I have two parking spaces but one car" issue.
> ...


Or as I heard on radio the other day from a couple of callers with this same problem;

They'd got drunk then had extremely hot curries and you can guess what happened next when they went to the offending cars :lol:


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## genocidalduck (May 19, 2005)

That would be good as longs its was over the windows and door handles


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## GW1970 (Jul 4, 2005)

Just as irritating, someone (one of the residents methinks) has dumped a car in one of the visitors parking places. Untaxed, it's sat there for months - council won't touch it as it's not on one of the Queen's highways :x Our Property management company are useless and haven't done anything. A few residents (pissed up) have tried to push it out - without success.

Some people are so selfish! :x


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## genocidalduck (May 19, 2005)

GW1970 said:


> Just as irritating, someone (one of the residents methinks) has dumped a car in one of the visitors parking places. Untaxed, it's sat there for months - council won't touch it as it's not on one of the Queen's highways :x Our Property management company are useless and haven't done anything. A few residents (pissed up) have tried to push it out - without success.
> 
> Some people are so selfish! :x


Smash windows of car then phone council and tell them that youve seen young kids playing on it and your worried it could cause a nasty accident. It happened where i used to live........The car was gone within a week. Either the council moved it on they got the management company to remove it........Either way it went


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## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

genocidalduck said:


> That would be good as longs its was over the windows and door handles


That's so gross! [smiley=toilet.gif]


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## droopsnoot (Sep 5, 2002)

GW1970 said:


> Just as irritating, someone (one of the residents methinks) has dumped a car in one of the visitors parking places. Untaxed, it's sat there for months - council won't touch it as it's not on one of the Queen's highways :x Our Property management company are useless and haven't done anything. A few residents (pissed up) have tried to push it out - without success.
> 
> Some people are so selfish! :x


Someone dumped an old Ford Orion on our company car park a few years back. I left a notice on it for a day or two saying "move this or it's gone" (just to give someone a chance if they'd broken down and pushed it off the road or something) then phoned a local scrapyard and had it removed. Aim for the smaller yards - a bigger yard is more likely to charge you for removal.


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