# First date. Awkward.



## L0z

So, meeting a lady tonight for a first date. To say I'm feeling slightly anxious about it would be an understatement!

I need some advice to distract me from this! So firstly, what is an acceptable greeting? I don't want to go over the top and for it to seem like I am slightly weird...

This is the only thing I'm worrying about as it could make or break the evening!

The low down is we met at work, I no longer work there but we've kept in contact etc. So we have things in common so I'm not worried about conversation, just the beginning!

Help?

This is a serious thread but I am more than willing to take some shit for this ha ha!

L


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## Spandex

I'd say if you go to the cinema, don't do that thing where you cut a hole in the bottom of the popcorn box until at least the 2nd date...


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## igotone

LOL. Just chill and greet her like you'd greet any old female friend, with a peck on the cheek, then just relax and try to make it an enjoyable evening for you both.

Good luck.


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## BrianR

Problems begin when you try to be something you are not, so if I can give you any advice it would to be yourself and go with the moment. You will be fine and all the very best with it, that was me two years ago and we got engaged on New Years Eve, so you never know.


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## Hoggy

Hi, Asking this sought of advice on a forum. :roll: :? 
Hoggy.


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## Toshiba

Before you pay for anything find out how long it will be before you get 'some'
Then from the number of dates she suggests, work out the cost to you. If that £ number is more than it would cost to rent someone - i'd either have an up front negotiation with her (it is a her i assume - you've checked?) about bringing that number forward.

Bottom line is the goods need to be used within the first two dates or the ROI is just no worth it.
Rohypnol is always worth taking on the date to even up the odds.

Unless she's paying - oh wait, equality doesn't extended this far, strange that, it only equality when its on their terms.


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## thenewguy

Should've asked in the powder room, get some "inside" info :lol:


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## paul4281

igotone said:


> LOL. Just chill and greet her like you'd greet any old female friend, with a peck on the cheek, then just relax and try to make it an enjoyable evening for you both.
> 
> Good luck.


What he said would be my choice

Sent from paul4281's iPhone using Tapatalk


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## Gazzer

Tosh: fuk me m8, its a date not a sales negotiation lol.
Spandy: ok.........so is that how you met mrs spandy you smoothe talking bugger lol

just be yaself Loz and greet her as an old but very very dear friend with a hug and a peck on the cheek to start with. then when you have got a drink and sat down tell her how you really wanted to kiss her but as she is so hot thought you had best not for fear of offending her.

Good luck bud

(ps: let us know tomorrow if she is clean shaven) wink wink


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## TTchan

Aww this is nice...right ask her questions about herself, listen to her, seem interested in what she's talking about but most of all the guys are right just be yourself. Don't be nervous, be confident 

Oh and tell us how it went


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## zltm089

Plus one on Toshiba!

Don't invest if you're not sure you're getting any return!!!

During the date itself, just chill and take it easy....it's only a date and with a normal girl!...(unless you're taking out some supermodel or star!...).....be funny....but don't try too hard....

Obviously don't make it too obvious that you will only treat her if you know you gona get some!...

Reminds me of my friend at uni who took this girl out, when the waiter brought him the bill....he pushed it towards the girl!!!!....hahahahahaha...even the waiter looked at him funny...I don't think I would have had the guts to do that.....anyways, just to show you how it is sometimes!...


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## zltm089

TTchan said:


> Aww this is nice...right ask her questions about herself, listen to her, seem interested in what she's talking about but most of all the guys are right just be yourself. Don't be nervous, be confident
> 
> Oh and tell us how it went


Every girl says that...."just be yourself"....doesn't really work for me, especially when I'm true and say "baby, you looking fine...i wana bang you"... :roll:


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## zltm089

OP just read your post again.....

why you worried about the beginning greeting....

the important bit is the dessert!!!!!.....you gota make the move for the kill at the end....you gota have a kiss!!! ...standard!!!!....make sure you let us know how it goes!!!...


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## Gazzer

TTchan said:


> zltm089 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> TTchan said:
> 
> 
> 
> Aww this is nice...right ask her questions about herself, listen to her, seem interested in what she's talking about but most of all the guys are right just be yourself. Don't be nervous, be confident
> 
> Oh and tell us how it went
> 
> 
> 
> Every girl says that...."just be yourself"....doesn't really work for me, especially when I'm true and say "baby, you looking fine...i wana bang you"... :roll:
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> I'm surprised you get any dates, acting like a total pig isn't attractive! :roll:
Click to expand...

acting? :roll:


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## Toshiba

TTchan said:


> Aww this is nice...right ask her questions about herself


is your bush shaved or waxed?
do you spit or swallow?
do you make breakfast in the morning if i go back to yours?
do you like football?
when did you last flick the bean and how many times did you score?
are you a screamer?



TTchan said:


> listen to her, seem interested


beer can help with the looking interested part but take a mobile so you can surf the web and or take pictures of her naked when shes passed out?
Take an interest in her fave position but doggy towards the TV is always worth a try and you can watch MoTD?



TTchan said:


> Don't be nervous, be confident


Ask her to pick up the bill?
I'd also be tempted to ask her if she has a sister or best friend who is good looking and into sharing?


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## Toshiba

you know you want it...
Pig, i was a donkey last time - make your mids up girls :lol:


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## zltm089

I'm surprised you get any dates, acting like a total pig isn't attractive! :roll:[/quote]
acting? :roll:[/quote]

I don't act!....lol...some girls like it dirty tho!


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## zltm089

:lol: LOL Toshiba is cracking me up!!!!!....

Is he for real??????


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## L0z

So....

This thread seems to have got some attention!

Well I have just got in, it was a lovely evening. Lots of laughter, which is a good thing I think!

Unfortunately I didn't ask if I could 'bang her' :roll: I did comment on how she looked and we are meeting again next weekend!

So all in all...


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## Nem

Sounds like it went rather well then, certainly good enough to ask if you can smash her back door in next time


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## Hjtt

Happy days , just chill a woman loves it more when you wait for sex and then when she does give in there will be no stopping it m8 !!! Just be your self m8 , lots of laughter and telling her how nice she looks is a big ++++ that will get you browney points , it makes them feel like you do find them attractive and not just a shag !!


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## Gazzer

Nem said:


> Sounds like it went rather well then, certainly good enough to ask if you can smash her back door in next time


now nick.............this is one of the best and funniest posts i have ever seen you make!!!!!!!

wd Loz glad it went well m8, and hope the bed tent has gone down by now


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## BrianR

fooking hilarious read this morning and still laughing, you romantic gits :lol:


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## TTchan

Aww yay im glad it went well and that your meeting again


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## Gazzer

TTchan said:


> Aww yay im glad it went well and that your meeting again


so how does chantelle like to be wooed? and what floats her boat?


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## corradoman

Gazzer said:


> TTchan said:
> 
> 
> 
> Aww yay im glad it went well and that your meeting again
> 
> 
> 
> so how does chantelle like to be wooed? and what floats her boat?
Click to expand...

What man in the boat


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## Gazzer

corradoman said:


> Gazzer said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> TTchan said:
> 
> 
> 
> Aww yay im glad it went well and that your meeting again
> 
> 
> 
> so how does chantelle like to be wooed? and what floats her boat?
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> What man in the boat
Click to expand...

now now corrado....i wasn't discussing chantell's privates as that is just rude :roll:


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## corradoman

And heaven forbid that you would be rude ehh Gazzer :lol:


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## Gazzer

corradoman said:


> And heaven forbid that you would be rude ehh Gazzer :lol:


shhhhhhhhh i'm still in thoughts of her man in a boat lol


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## TTchan

Gazzer said:


> corradoman said:
> 
> 
> 
> And heaven forbid that you would be rude ehh Gazzer :lol:
> 
> 
> 
> shhhhhhhhh i'm still in thoughts of her man in a boat lol
Click to expand...

Lmao you lot are terrible :lol:


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## L0z

I am so glad I posted this ha ha! Some of the replies are amazing!

I shall keep you all posted ;-)


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## corradoman

Gazzer said:


> corradoman said:
> 
> 
> 
> And heaven forbid that you would be rude ehh Gazzer :lol:
> 
> 
> 
> shhhhhhhhh i'm still in thoughts of her man in a boat lol
Click to expand...

You got thinking now :lol:


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## Gazzer

L0z said:


> I am so glad I posted this ha ha! Some of the replies are amazing!
> 
> I shall keep you all posted ;-)


shut it Loz ya boring sod........go get her and leave us to perv over chantelles man in a boat lol


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## corradoman

Gazzer said:


> L0z said:
> 
> 
> 
> I am so glad I posted this ha ha! Some of the replies are amazing!
> 
> I shall keep you all posted ;-)
> 
> 
> 
> shut it Loz ya boring sod........go get her and leave us to perv over chantelles man in a boat lol
Click to expand...

Dont make a mess with that spud water now Gazzer :lol: :lol:


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## Gazzer

your'e getting as bad as me corrado........


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## Gazzer

cough splutter........CHOKE!!!!! re-read and take in Tosh's last post


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## zltm089

LOL.....where the hell is Toshiba getting all this?!!!!.....

Quality!


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## corradoman

Ha ha this thread just gets better :lol:


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## zltm089

To the OP, glad that YOU say it went "well" .....lol...

You didn't give out much details!!!!....lol...did you get to 1st base?....hahahhaa....

only messing with you....you don't have to go into the details!....

and obviously, you can't ask "can i bang you" like I did....it takes years of practice to be able to be upfront!


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## CWJ

Best Sunday reading in ages. Hilarious.


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## Gazzer

Chan Hun I know ya not a sl.t , but I kinda like the pic


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## TTchan

Gazzer said:


> Chan Hun I know ya not a sl.t , but I kinda like the pic


Lmao :lol: I know you don't think that but tosh had no right... just because im from Essex doesn't mean I'm the "typical Essex girl".

I can take a bit of banter but what he said was too far, especially by putting me in that "generalisation"


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## olds_cool

Toshiba, even though you've stated your post is a generalisation, it's rather sh1tty to point it at someone you don't know. It's a bit like me saying all your posts are aimed at making fun of others which means you're obviously trying to deflect attention from you're own inadequacies by making fun of others, maybe you were a regular on Top of the pops or did Jim fix it for you?


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## corradoman

olds_cool said:


> Toshiba, even though you've stated your post is a generalisation, it's rather sh1tty to point it at someone you don't know. It's a bit like me saying all your posts are aimed at making fun of others which means you're obviously trying to deflect attention from you're own inadequacies by making fun of others, maybe you were a regular on Top of the pops or did Jim fix it for you?


I think its all a bit of banter mate :lol: :lol:


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## Toshiba

What a load of SHITE.

Mods whichever one of you removed it i expect my post to be returned. It was a CLEAR generalisation and not a personal attack hence why it was CLEARLY named GENERALISATION at the top of the thread. Balls in your court. I also expect a reason for the post removal in terms of what rule had been broken

Chantel - get over yourself love and yes, you can view that as a personal attack.
You are clearly a man hating feminist and i view you calling people a "pig" personal attack - i expect the mods will be removing that... :roll: *** EDIT, no removed ***

double edit - thread was so much funnier in the original text. Oh well.


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## Toshiba

olds_cool said:


> Toshiba, even though you've stated your post is a generalisation, it's rather sh1tty to point it at someone you don't know. It's a bit like me saying all your posts are aimed at making fun of others which means you're obviously trying to deflect attention from you're own inadequacies by making fun of others, maybe you were a regular on Top of the pops or did Jim fix it for you?


clearly if its stated as a generalisation its not pointed at anyone, but more of a point of context to continue a story...
let me know if you don't understand any other words.


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## TTchan

Firstly, you say that us Essex girls can't spell, check you out, get my name right for a start!!

Secondly when you put "she's" from Essex, taking their knickers off is a ritual on a first date...nice generalisation!!


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## olds_cool

corradoman said:


> I think its all a bit of banter mate :lol: :lol:


I know Corradoman, and that's fine but when you don't know someone it's not nice to start throwing their name about just to get a laugh. I enjoy winding my mates up as much as anyone on here as Chantelle and the other Essex Region lot will confirm, but that's the difference, i've met them in person and will wind them up to their face, not just from behind a keyboard.


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## olds_cool

Toshiba said:


> clearly if its stated as a generalisation its not pointed at anyone, but more of a point of context to continue a story...
> let me know if you don't understand any other words.


I'm sorry...are you now back tracking on what you said???? or did you mot say "she's from essex".....???

I understand you just fine mate


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## Toshiba

"their" and "generalisation" does not mean everyone..
Same as every blonde is not dumb nor is every red head hot, nor is every ginger girl dirty - its a generalisation.

noun	1.	generalisation - an idea or conclusion having general application; "he spoke in broad generalities"
generality, generalization
idea, thought - the content of cognition; the main thing you are thinking about; "it was not a good idea"; "the thought never entered my mind"
principle, rule - a basic generalization that is accepted as true and that can be used as a basis for reasoning or conduct; "their principles of composition characterized all their works"

Feel free to call oxford and complain :roll:
note in the generalisation definition it states "he"...


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## Gazzer

Ok that degenerated pretty quick


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## Toshiba

RETURN MY POST.


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## stortford

I can't believe what I have stumbled upon.


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## Hoggy

Toshiba said:


> RETURN MY POST.


Hi, It's been deleted & will not be returned as the words/phrases used are not required or needed on a Public Forum, & nothing to do with personal attacks.
Hoggy.


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## Toshiba

Hoggy said:


> Toshiba said:
> 
> 
> 
> RETURN MY POST.
> 
> 
> 
> Hi, It's been deleted & will not be returned as the words/phrases used are not required or needed on a Public Forum, & nothing to do with personal attacks.
> Hoggy.
Click to expand...

Explain to me which word/s... were there any swear words? no, but there are clearly other sexual innuendoes within this thread that still remain - maybe you need to re-read the other posts and or remove those too? Everything said was a generalisation of essex girls thats an excepted and or well known stereotype. You are not the guardian for stereotypes.

I want the personal attack comment to be removed.
Bring back the text pls - feel free to remove any swear words (but there wasn't any) :roll:


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## Gazzer

Simple answer guys if Loz is happy move it to flame, prob over


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## Toshiba

Gazzer said:


> Simple answer guys if Loz is happy move it to flame, prob over


Strange given its publicly stated by a mod and agreed not to be a personal attack, but you see lots of "other" comments that would also be deemed as "words/phrases used are not required or needed on a Public Forum"

Hoggy, This is down to you, let us know why the other comments have not been removed or what constitutes "words/phrases not required or needed on a Public Forum" Can you also answer why the thread was no moved if you deemed it as such?


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## Spandex

Toshiba said:


> RETURN MY POST.


I have your post. Send £10,000 to my PayPal account or I start sending it back to you one letter at a time.


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## Toshiba

pm me it and i'll re-post


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## TTchan

Toshiba said:


> pm me it and i'll re-post


It was deleted because it was vile and disgusting!!!


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## Toshiba

But all true...and genuine stereotypes. 
How do you think stereotypes get formed?

I'm still waiting for your personal attack to be removed.

Talking of pigs, they are so vile, but they make great bacon sandwiches - you can also spit-roast them.
Ever been to a spit-roast? :twisted:


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## TTchan

Toshiba said:


> I'm still waiting for your personal attack to be removed.


Aww diddums does the truth hurt?

[smiley=sleeping.gif]


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## Toshiba

clearly the truth about Essex girls did :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:



TTchan said:


> Firstly, you say that us Essex girls can't spell, check you out, get my name right for a start!!
> 
> Secondly when you put "she's" from Essex, taking their knickers off is a ritual on a first date...nice generalisation!!


Name was correctly spelled, maybe not for you.
Generalisation - heres a link, so more than within my rights to allude to such antics.

http://www.thefreelibrary.com/Essex+gir ... 0231770368
21% vs 8% - i love Essex girls, dont get me wrong.


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## TTchan

Toshiba said:


> clearly the truth about Essex girls did :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


Nope that's NOT the part, I know there is a stereotype about SOME Essex girls...what bugged me is that YOU said "*she's* an Essex girl, taking their knickers off on a first date is a ritual" DO NOT put me in your example of a Essex girl, what you said is disgusting, vile and disrespectful!!

Don't get me wrong, i can take a bit of banter about being an Essex girl but you took it too far, way overboard!!!


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## TTchan

Toshiba said:


> clearly the truth about Essex girls did :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
> 
> 
> 
> TTchan said:
> 
> 
> 
> Firstly, you say that us Essex girls can't spell, check you out, get my name right for a start!!
> 
> Secondly when you put "she's" from Essex, taking their knickers off is a ritual on a first date...nice generalisation!!
> 
> 
> 
> Name was correctly spelled, maybe not for you.
Click to expand...

Well clearly it's not, you was addressing me, my name is not spelt that way therefore it is wrong!


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## Toshiba

she = implies 'you' are an Essex girl, that you agree.
They = implies stereotype, not you. Generalisation.

I AT NO point said any person by name does or doesn't do anything. 
it was a JOKE, its meant to be exaggerated and for comedic value only why be so PC, lighten up FFS.

Due on? (joke)
PS what about the spit-roast?


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## TTchan

Toshiba said:


> she = implies 'you' are an Essex girl, that you agree.
> They = implies stereotype, not you. Generalisation.
> 
> I AT NO point said any person by name does or doesn't do anything.
> it was a JOKE, its meant to be exaggerated and for comedic value only why be so PC, lighten up FFS.


Like I said, I can take a bit of banter about being an Essex girl but you took it too far!!


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## TTchan

Toshiba said:


> PS what about the spit-roast?


And I can happily say I have never been to a spit roast lol


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## Toshiba

I'll use welsh girls in the next one.


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## TTchan

Toshiba said:


> I'll use welsh girls in the next one.


Well actually I'm 1/4 welsh... :lol:

jokes lol


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## Gazzer

Ok kiss n make up you two, and lets give Loz his thread back


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## TTchan

Gazzer said:


> Ok kiss n make up you two, and lets give Loz his thread back


Lol :-*


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## L0z

Well it was late when I got in so I couldn't be arsed goi into it all.

Not quite sure what's been going on for posts to have been removed?

If it needs to be in the flame room then that's cool with me!

I had expected more shit to be directed at me rather than female members of the forum though!

L


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## L0z

Gazzer said:


> Ok kiss n make up you two, and lets give Loz his thread back


Cheers Gaz


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## davelincs

This post as been better than the afternoon film


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## Toshiba

Next one was to be girls from Newcastle, but quite honestly I'm too scared to post it, they'd kick the crap out of me and run off with my wallet.  (plus i have my tax return to do)

So OP do you need 2nd date tips now?


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## Gazzer

Thank god I didn't let on I am from canvey island then


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## zltm089

Bloody hell!!!!....Why was Toshiba's post removed????????.....

I though it was hilarious!!!!.....what the hell is wrong with some people?!!!!....This thread was just for jokes!!! Well the OP was kinda serious about the date but I really don't understand why Chantelle got offended when she is the one who started calling me pig and got all personal!!!!....I tried to keep it "light and funny" but I really think that Toshiba's post shouldn't be removed!...

Fcuk it, if Toshiba's post is removed then Chantelle's one should be removed aswell....as she got no right calling me pig!...Whether i'm a macho chauvinistic prick or not....


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## L0z

zltm089 said:


> Bloody hell!!!!....Why was Toshiba's post removed????????.....
> 
> I though it was hilarious!!!!.....what the hell is wrong with some people?!!!!....This thread was just for jokes!!! Well the OP was kinda serious about the date but I really don't understand why Chantelle got offended when she is the one who started calling me pig and got all personal!!!!....I tried to keep it "light and funny" but I really think that Toshiba's post shouldn't be removed!...
> 
> Fcuk it, if Toshiba's post is removed then Chantelle's one should be removed aswell....as she got no right calling me pig!...Whether i'm a macho chauvinistic prick or not....


Dude, keep it out of my thread now.

Thanks for the input, but if you've got a problem, message a mod.

Cheers 

L


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## roddy

Huh ,,,, boring !!!!!!


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## roddy

The OP reminded ma a bit of the post about the girl from macdonalds in blackpool ,,, some of the older membs may remember that ,,,,,, poos guy never came back tho I think they are hap married now !!!!


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## oceans7

I had a very awkward first date experience a few months ago, I was using a website called find a fuck buddy.com and aranged to meet up with some girl i met through it in a local bar, imagine my horror when my wife turned up. It turned out that We were both using the same website. Oh how we laughed.


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## roddy

roddy said:


> L0z said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> zltm089 said:
> 
> 
> 
> Bloody hell!!!!....Why was Toshiba's post removed????????.....
> 
> I though it was hilarious!!!!.....what the hell is wrong with some people?!!!!....This thread was just for jokes!!! Well the OP was kinda serious about the date but I really don't understand why Chantelle got offended when she is the one who started calling me pig and got all personal!!!!....I tried to keep it "light and funny" but I really think that Toshiba's post shouldn't be removed!...
> 
> Fcuk it, if Toshiba's post is removed then Chantelle's one should be removed aswell....as she got no right calling me pig!...Whether i'm a macho chauvinistic prick or not....
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> Dude, keep it out of my thread now.
> 
> Thanks for the input, but if you've got a problem, message a mod
> Cheers
Click to expand...

HELP MODS !!!!!! That is not my post ,,,, W is going on


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## Hoggy

Hi Roddy, It looks as if it's the way it's been quoted or it's happened while things have been deleted on this thread.
I have deleted that post, which appeared to come from you rather than Loz.
Shall I delete your post as well ?
Hoggy.


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## roddy

Not nessesary mate , no prob , don't want you wasting your time , you have enough nonsense going on here to contend with !!!!


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## Spandex

Hoggy said:


> Shall I delete your post as well ?


As well?? As well as what? As well as all of Toshibas posts??? I knew it!!

We've got our eye on you...


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## roddy

Be fair spandy , read his whole post ,, now don't you start picking and mixing !!!!!!!


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## Spandex

What's the point in being as hilarious as me if no one ever gets your jokes? Sigh...


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## roddy

C'est la vie


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## BrianR

Spandex said:


> What's the point in being as hilarious as me if no one ever gets your jokes? Sigh...


Now that was funny!


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## Gazzer

Loz did you get on ok m8


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## roddy

Yes ffs what's happnin , you got there yet ,,, any pics


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