# Vacuum



## John-H (Jul 13, 2005)

I sold my vacuum cleaner. It was only gathering dust.


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## Hoggy (May 8, 2002)

:lol: :lol: 
Hoggy


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## merlin c (Jan 25, 2012)

John-H said:


> I sold my vacuum cleaner. It was only gathering dust.


who's been watching the Edinburgh fringe then??? :lol: :lol:


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## John-H (Jul 13, 2005)

Always a good source of jokes. Tim Vine is a master.


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## jamman (May 6, 2002)

John, he's a very talented guy saw him on a tour a couple of years ago and my stomach hurt from laughing.


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## merlin c (Jan 25, 2012)

jamman said:


> John, he's a very talented guy saw him on a tour a couple of years ago and my stomach hurt from laughing.


WOW!!! did you need morphine? because thats a large area to be in pain!!


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## John-H (Jul 13, 2005)

A lot of his humor is similar to Tommy Cooper. In fact if you put "Tim Vine jokes" into Google you'll get returned a lot of Tommy Cooper jokes thrown in. Has Tim Vine used some of Tommy Cooper's material or have people heard the Tommy Cooper jokes and thought they must be Tim Vine?

e.g. TimVine:

http://www.jokes4us.com/peoplejokes/com ... jokes.html

"He said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library.' I thought 'That's a turn-up for the books."

I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. He said, "How flexible are you?" I said, "I can't make Tuesdays."

"So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you give me a lift?" I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'"

"You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice."

"So I got home, and the phone was ringing. I picked it up, and said 'Who's speaking please?' And a voice said 'You are.'"

"So I rang up my local swimming baths. I said 'Is that the local swimming baths?' He said 'It depends where you're calling from.'"

"So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'

Tommy Cooper - same ones...

http://members.tripod.com/~Doug_Anderson/jokes.htm

I don't care. They are all funny.

The vacuum cleaner one is new and clever - break it down:

I've sold my vacuum cleaner - invites interest as people don't do that as they usually break them first and buy a new one.

It was only gathering dust - use of a common phrase both meaning I have no use for it so selling is logical - and also the object's function.

Brilliant!

I've been trying to think of a common phrase that can be used in a similar way. I've not managed it yet [smiley=bigcry.gif]


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## ZephyR2 (Feb 20, 2013)

Two of my favourite comedians and yes they do have a common style at times.
"I've been doing this crossword and I've been trying to find a word for 2 weeks, and then it came to me ..... Fortnight !"


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## alexi7 (Aug 30, 2011)




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## peachy2501 (May 12, 2015)

poor


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