# Dear Sir...



## CH_Peter (May 16, 2002)

*To the driver who rear ended me a few weeks back.*

Dear Sir,

You are a c*nt. A first class fucking wanker of a c*nt. I use this word advisedly and carefully, and reserve its use only for occasions where my temper exceeds my considerable mental capacity to hold it back and only the most offensive word in the English dictionary will suffice in allowing me to insult in a manner directly proportional to the amount of stupidity demonstrated.

Your lack of driving skills and foresight is only overshadowed by your constipated mental skills. You would be rightly offended if I failed to justify these accusations. Or at least, I would assume that you would be offended if your cognitive skills extended to the comprehension of the concept of being offended. Frankly, I doubt this.

As I was sat in the queue of traffic, I expect the odd person to come down the outside and jump the queue. In a rush, I may have done this myself on occasion, when I can get my British sense of "The Queue" and fair play to look the other way. However, I have never made the mistake you made. I am not the c*nt you are. Indeed, it strikes me that you have achieved a level of c*ntness that many of the world's most stupid people can only aspire to. You a George Bush seem to have achieved a higher plane together. Congratulations. The overwhelming immensity of your stupidity has distracted me from my story. I apologise.

I am sat in the queue and see you coming down the outside in your Vauxhall. I rashly assume that someone coming so quickly would never be attempting to jump the queue, which is slow moving, and pay you no mind. I have obviously failed to take your stupidity and c*nt-like nature into account. Again, I apologise. As the queue starts to move forward, my modest acceleration leaves a gap between me and the lorry behind, which you see as an opportunity. The gap is perhaps 2 car lengths, but cutting up the lorry is of no consequence to you, since you have a different plan in mind. As the traffic comes to a halt in front of me, I begin to brake, but you are hell bent on flying into the gap at top speed. As you pull in, I am stopping, and you are unable to stop your tin pot heap of fucking no-brakes never-been-serviced bastard fuck arse wanker c*nt car in the time allowed (less your own less-than-impressive reaction time). So, c*nt that you are, you decide that the best way to bring the car to a stop is by using my rear bumper. Bravo.

Of course, we all make mistakes, and I should perhaps rein myself in a little. This rant is a little out-of-control, right? One mistake does not warrant the use of the "c" word, does it? Possibly not. But, as we're sat in the courtesy car the following week, who should perform exactly the same manoeuvre over again right behind us, stopping just before the rear bumper of the car this time? You. You fuckwit. You and your dumbass rust-shot piss poor clapped out heap of stinking bastard arse mother fucking scrap metal masquerading as a car. That's who. Not content with twatting my pride and joy, you're out to have another go.

I must admit to feeling dwarfed by the immensity of your stupidity. The printed word all but fails me in impressing on you just how amazingly stupid you are, so I must resort to insults: you are a stupid c*nt.

Yours faithfully,
Pete


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## Dont I Recognise You (Oct 10, 2003)

did you get out and twat the bastard? (sorry - got caught up in the moment there )

Or - reversed into him! [smiley=devil.gif]


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## Kell (May 28, 2002)

Don't hold back - tell him what you really mean.

If you have his name and address, you should send that to him.


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## CH_Peter (May 16, 2002)

Sadly, he's German, so probably wouldn't understand. Em wouldn't let me get out the car for a moment as I was so angry. I'm not a fighting person anyway, but he looked terrified.

How sodding stupid though? Once, pretty fucking witless, but to keep having a go? Er, duh.


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## Dont I Recognise You (Oct 10, 2003)

preferably - wrapped round a brick.....


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## HumphreyF (Nov 7, 2003)

> did you get out and twat the bastard? (sorry - got caught up in the moment there )
> 
> Or - reversed into him! Â [smiley=devil.gif]


Or did you just sit there in your car really relly angry and think 'the best way I can deal with this is to post an unfunny letter in the flame room of the tt website.'?

I suspect this is the case.


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## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

I have learnt some good mixes of swearing words all combined into a couple of sentences I hate to admit ;D.

Sorry to hear of your dreadful experience though. Couldn't have been nice for you at all. Did you suffer any whiplash or injury and are you ok now?


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## L8_0RGY (Sep 12, 2003)

Are you claiming off his insurance?


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## Kell (May 28, 2002)

> Or did you just sit there in your car really relly angry and think 'the best way I can deal with this is to post an unfunny letter in the flame room of the tt website.'?
> 
> I suspect this is the case.


Because it's so much braver to hide behind a pseudonym and post unfunny comments in response to other people's posts.


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## uppTTnorth (Jul 5, 2003)

So sorry to hear of your rear ending, but at least your not alone in meeting idiots , i had my last car before the TT only 6wks when this fu**wit runs without braking into the back of me in nice sunlight and dry road , after being catapulted across the road ( i was stood waiting to turn into a parking spot and yes i was indicating), i eventually and painfully get out , to find this stupid old f**k looking and saying ohhhhh its not too bad is it, im starting to think is he too old to hit, when out comes this beauty " im sorry i didnt stop , i was looking in the glovebox for something". ARGHHHHHHHHHH , old guy retreats to his car , and wont come out til i have stopped ranting


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## CH_Peter (May 16, 2002)

> Did you suffer any whiplash or injury and are you ok now?


Fortunately not. The impact was very hard, more surprising, and more than a little infuriating, than anything else.



> Are you claiming off his insurance?


The bill from the garage went to him directly, and he was going to decide whether to cough up himself or claim of his insurance. Never saw the bill - although that itself took some sorting.



> Or did you just sit there in your car really relly angry and think 'the best way I can deal with this is to post an unfunny letter in the flame room of the tt website.'?
> 
> I suspect this is the case.


I got out, checked that the car was safe to drive, and suggested that we drive to my office, where it was safe to exchange details. I was indeed extremely angry, but don't see how hitting someone would have solved the problem. He was a fucking idiot. There's a lot of them about. "Relly" there are.

Pete


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## Hannibal (Dec 1, 2003)

> Or did you just sit there in your car really relly angry and think 'the best way I can deal with this is to post an unfunny letter in the flame room of the tt website.'?


We all need our place to vent spleen.....personally I don't feel being rear ended is very funny either especially as Pete seems to be dealing with a cretin who doesn't learn from his mistakes....

Sympathies CH_Peter

H (2p)


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## scoTTy (May 6, 2002)

> c*ntness


I think you'll find it works better with an 'i' between each syllabal.


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## CH_Peter (May 16, 2002)

> I think you'll find it works better with an 'i' between each syllabal.


Noted. To be rolled out in future insult releases. ;D

Pete


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## Dont I Recognise You (Oct 10, 2003)

> > Did you suffer any whiplash or injury and are you ok now? Â
> 
> 
> Fortunately not. The impact was very hard, more surprising, and more than a little infuriating, than anything else.


Are you sure?
Not even going down the 'how much can I get out of this' route - but I would heartily recommend getting checked out by your DR.

Got knocked off my 'bike years ago and still get twinges in my shoulder to this day Â :-/


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## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

My husband was stationary through the Blackwall Tunnel, London a year back when a lorry hit him at full pelt! What was worse was my husband had the hand brake on aswell.

Fortunately my husband's car took good impact which was back then a 3 day old brand new mondeo which he had back then just picked up but sadly then damaged.

As a result of this accident, the small of my husband's back had been damaged. It only became noticeable a few months later and now when it twinges he can feel that accident happening in his memory all over again.

A very scarey moment when your stationary and all of a sudden your hit from the rear from no where by something big, heavy and fast. Not a nice feeling at all.


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## r1 (Oct 31, 2002)

> A very scarey moment when your stationary and all of a sudden your hit from the rear from no where by something big, heavy and fast. Â Not a nice feeling at all.


Cue Vlastan


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## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

Behave R1, you filthy minded dirt bag ;D  ;D


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## SteveS (Oct 20, 2003)

> Because it's so much braver to hide behind a pseudonym and post unfunny comments in response to other people's posts.


Quite. [smiley=thumbsup.gif]


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## garyc (May 7, 2002)

> Because it's so much braver to hide behind a pseudonym and post unfunny comments in response to other people's posts.


So, out of interest, is Kell your birth name?


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## Kell (May 28, 2002)

Yes it is Gary.

And even if it were not, it still doen't change the fact that the person behind Mr Wattleseed/Flaxseed et al is a forum member with another log in ID that simply uses the alter ego when they're too chicken to post their own comments.


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