# I want a good retort!



## paceyjg (Aug 19, 2008)

This knob at football seems to enjoy referring to my 3.2 V6 as a 'hairdressers' car. Its not really in my nature to insult someone just for the sake of it (i could - he doesnt drive and has many other faults that i wont go into) Anyone suffer the same problem and do they have a really witty retort to such a fool?


----------



## kmpowell (May 6, 2002)

What car does he drive?

Can't you not just call him a c*nt and punch him in the face? Or is that not the done thing these days...


----------



## YELLOW_TT (Feb 25, 2004)

Just blow him a big kiss and give him a sexy little wink and ask him if he would like a trim in a very camp voice


----------



## Dash (Oct 5, 2008)

Some people will call it a hairdressers car for a jest and mean nothing harsh by it. The others are just jealous and want to make you feel bad about having something better than they do.

I generally agree "yes, I suppose it is a bit. Still, it's a lot faster than you <whatever>".

There is the rare occasion where their <whatever> is actually faster, but I haven't had that one yet... I'd probably just look sad


----------



## paceyjg (Aug 19, 2008)

kmpowell said:


> What car does he drive?
> 
> Can't you not just call him a c*nt and punch him in the face? Or is that not the done thing these days...


Trust me that is my current choice of the way to proceed but i am holding back for the good of the team


----------



## Wallsendmag (Feb 12, 2004)

paceyjg said:


> kmpowell said:
> 
> 
> > What car does he drive?
> ...


You can't go around punching people at football matches ,Joey will get jealous


----------



## paceyjg (Aug 19, 2008)

He doesnt drive guys - hes a thick bloke with a low mentality but like i said if i haven't got anything nice to say about someone i generally say nothing. Obviously hes jealous - now i think about it 'ur a c*unt and a smack has put a smile on my face


----------



## YELLOW_TT (Feb 25, 2004)

Heres another one just say
My TT might be a hairdresser car but what ever car you drive it will be a wankers car 
Or 
When I sell my TT it will still be a hairdressers car but when you sell you (Make Of Car) it will stop being a wankers car


----------



## paceyjg (Aug 19, 2008)

YELLOW_TT said:


> Heres another one just say
> My TT might be a hairdresser car but what ever car you drive it will be a wankers car
> Or
> When I sell my TT it will still be a hairdressers car but when you sell you (Make Of Car) it will stop being a wankers car


Both good mate but from what i gather his missus drives him cos he cant - now you can see what im up against! How can you effectively insult someone so stupid??


----------



## Wallsendmag (Feb 12, 2004)

paceyjg said:


> YELLOW_TT said:
> 
> 
> > Heres another one just say
> ...


Call him a mackem


----------



## paceyjg (Aug 19, 2008)

wallsendmag said:


> paceyjg said:
> 
> 
> > YELLOW_TT said:
> ...


C*unt sounds better - or is that the same in your part of the country


----------



## Wallsendmag (Feb 12, 2004)

Nowhere near as bad as the m word .


----------



## paceyjg (Aug 19, 2008)

wallsendmag said:


> Nowhere near as bad as the m word .


LOL I will give it a try but i live near Bath in Somerset so i dont know if it will carry the same weight


----------



## Wallsendmag (Feb 12, 2004)

paceyjg said:


> wallsendmag said:
> 
> 
> > Nowhere near as bad as the m word .
> ...


Southern shandy drinking woos might be an option.


----------



## paceyjg (Aug 19, 2008)

wallsendmag said:


> paceyjg said:
> 
> 
> > wallsendmag said:
> ...


I only want to insult him not the whole population of the glorious south west :lol:


----------



## skiwhiz (Feb 17, 2008)

paceyjg said:


> YELLOW_TT said:
> 
> 
> > Heres another one just say
> ...


shame he is married could try
might be a hairdressers car but its a headturner and bird puller hows your turkey


----------



## Juber (May 20, 2007)

I shout the top of my voice BORING when i hear some one call the TT a hair dressers car, i mean come on the saying is older than Jesus now :roll:


----------



## John C (Jul 5, 2002)

paceyjg said:


> This knob at football........


Who else goes to football? Is there something I've missed?

 :wink: :wink: :wink:


----------



## BreTT (Oct 30, 2002)

John C said:


> paceyjg said:
> 
> 
> > This knob at football........
> ...


Aye right enough - football is a poofs game, but that probably doesn't help your argument much. :-|


----------



## Hallyfella (Mar 5, 2007)

Why not offer to give him a lift home in your V6 and scare the living shit out of him.
If that doesnt work take him in the showers and scare the living shit out of him any way :wink:


----------



## jampott (Sep 6, 2003)

Have you not considered selling your hairdressers car and getting something more manly?

You obviously have unresolved personal issues.


----------



## garyc (May 7, 2002)

No insults needed. But do spray you hair laquer in his face. :wink:

As they say, "Living well is the best revenge", so make sure that you hair is immaculate all the time.


----------



## rustyintegrale (Oct 1, 2006)

paceyjg said:


> This knob at football seems to enjoy referring to my 3.2 V6 as a 'hairdressers' car. Its not really in my nature to insult someone just for the sake of it (i could - he doesnt drive and has many other faults that i wont go into) Anyone suffer the same problem and do they have a really witty retort to such a fool?


*It may be a hairdresser's car but it packs more punch on a daily basis than that little pee-wee you call a penis. Now go massage your ego. It's the only thing likely to get bigger in your pretend little world...*

Reckon you can learn that off by heart? :wink:

Cheers

rich


----------



## paceyjg (Aug 19, 2008)

Thanks guys - i think i like the shout of 'boring' as the best option - as i said you cant really argue with someone with such low intelligence.


----------



## CHADTT (Jun 20, 2007)

How about this retort.

'It worries me , this fixation you have about Hairdressers, Is there something you are not telling me??'

Its worked twice now. HA!!


----------



## Wallsendmag (Feb 12, 2004)

John C said:


> paceyjg said:
> 
> 
> > This knob at football........
> ...


Oi [smiley=argue.gif] Maybe north of the border :wink:


----------



## sonicmonkey (Mar 20, 2004)

I for one have never understood this mentality. There are far greater things in life I'd rather focus my energy on but I 100% understand why this can grind you down over time.

When I had the TT the amount of negative comments I would receive beggared belief. I've never been able to grasp the pleasure one gains in (excuse the eloquent phrase) "pissing on another's chips". If you turned up in a Pink Ford Ka with yellow polka dots that you absolutely loved, my response would be simple - good on you!

Sounds simple but you need to rise above it. The current (unwanted) feedback I get is that Boxsters are bought by people who cannot afford a 911. My response is that luckily I'm poor enough to afford a Boxster.

When I had the hairdresser jokes with the TT you can devalue their insult by joining in and retorting it's not a hairdressers car - it's a "stylist car" so f**k off. Once you've demonstrated that you can take it on the chin and you're not reacting to it - I've often found people get bored and move on.


----------



## Dr_Parmar (May 10, 2002)

YELLOW_TT said:


> Heres another one just say
> My TT might be a hairdresser car but what ever car you drive it will be a wankers car
> Or
> When I sell my TT it will still be a hairdressers car but when you sell you (Make Of Car) it will stop being a wankers car


hahah that made ma laugh.


----------



## DXN (May 18, 2002)

Just say

I am a hairdresser, I trimmed your wife last week, have you not seen it for a while- to busy being a wanker ?


----------



## CHADTT (Jun 20, 2007)

DXN said:


> Just say
> 
> I am a hairdresser, I trimmed your wife last week, have you not seen it for a while- to busy being a wanker ?


Brilliant :lol:


----------



## Hark (Aug 23, 2007)

He doesn't drive and his missus drops him off to work every day?

How hard can it be to find insults?


----------



## CamV6 (Oct 26, 2003)

"A hairdresser's car it may be, but its one more car than you can drive"

"A hairdresser's car it may be but at least I dont have to ask my wife to drive it for me"

"A hairdresser's car it may be, but it beats the crap out public transport"

"At least I have the option of driving a hairdresser's car or not, you fat cunt" (last bit optional)

"At least I can afford a hairdresser's car, all you can afford is to talk about it"

"I'd rather be a hairdresser sitting in a TT seat than be you sitting in your seat/bus shelter/taxi office"

"A hairdersser's car? How would you know? Did your Mrs tell you that whan she drove you here?"

"You are right. Men should drive cars more befitting their status, which probably explains why you dont have a car at all"

"I'd rather look like a cunt in a hairdresser's car that a cunt at the side of the road hoping to scrounge a lift off someone"

"When your wife drives, do you enjoy holding her handbag?"

"Hairdresser's car? Yes, well maybe, but its a nice warm hairdresser's car that I'll be driving home in speed and style whilst you wait for the bus.....or is your mummy picking you up again tonight?"

"Yes, but then hairdressers have a career, style, and a sizeable income, unlike you which probably explains why you dont have one and why you are always harping on about it"

"hahaha, hairdresser's car that's a good one. Dont forget to tell your mummy what a clever boy you are when she collects you at hometime"

"Sorry, remind me, how much is a bus ticket these days?"

"Hairdresser's car? How would you know. By the look of you you would know what a hairdresser is nevermind what a hairdresser would drive"

"Yes, well hairdresser's can afford and drive nice cars, unlike some"


----------



## Wild Woods (Feb 25, 2008)

Bloody hell Cam, remind me never to get in a slanging match with you on this forum.

I could only come up with a couple of retorts not 50.


----------



## Dash (Oct 5, 2008)

:lol:

Brilliant! I'll have to remember that.


----------



## Wallsendmag (Feb 12, 2004)

Wild Woods said:


> Bloody hell Cam, remind me never to get in a slanging match with you on this forum.
> 
> I could only come up with a couple of retorts not 50.


You get a lot of idiots at Spurs :roll:


----------



## Wild Woods (Feb 25, 2008)

wallsendmag said:


> Wild Woods said:
> 
> 
> > Bloody hell Cam, remind me never to get in a slanging match with you on this forum.
> ...


That explains it. Most of my in-laws are Spurs supporters.


----------



## Wallsendmag (Feb 12, 2004)

Wild Woods said:


> wallsendmag said:
> 
> 
> > Wild Woods said:
> ...


You can't say that


----------



## denTTed (Feb 21, 2007)

Offer to cut his hair, thats what I do when I get all that kak.


----------



## westty (Jan 3, 2004)

Yes mate its a hairdressers car!...........
Is that your phone i can hear.......be your missus saying shes broke down.........
right lads i'm off, anyone want a lift?


----------



## ag (Sep 12, 2002)

This isn't very surprising. Footballing "Lads" tend to have more active egos than brains. However the day that the opinion of an educationaly subnormal neanderthal has any effect on me is a long way off.

On a side note it is amazing how it is almost impossible to counter assertions made by intensely dim individuals. Their points of view are generaly informed by "Truism", which are by their very nature based on credible but incorrect perceptions. What they say has a toe based in reality but the rest is pure spin.

The bloke across the road from me is a hair dresser. He has a beautiful wife, two very nice daughters and lives in a lovely cottage. His wheels of choice? A 1998 Fireblade, ridden every day regardless of the weather. Frankly, I would be less insulted by being called a hairdresser than an accountant, or I.T. professional or Systems Analyst!

What do you actually do for a living? It is quite possibly something less worthwhile than a Barber.


----------



## jammyd (Oct 11, 2008)

ag said:


> Frankly, I would be less insulted by being called a hairdresser than an accountant, or I.T. professional or Systems Analyst!
> 
> What do you actually do for a living? It is quite possibly something less worthwhile than a Barber.


Hey I am an IT Professional and a qualified Systems Analyst... [smiley=bigcry.gif]


----------



## Anneymouse (Dec 29, 2008)

"and when you get yourself a nice little hairdressing job, you will be able to get one too! Sorry, what is it you do?"


----------



## CkB (Jun 18, 2008)

Hark said:


> He doesn't drive and his missus drops him off to work every day?
> 
> How hard can it be to find insults?


That's what I thought. It's blatently an excuse for the age old "Yes yes but I can drive to the hair dressers and the ground, I don't have to get my mum to drive me.... What's that?? Oh it's your MRS?? Shit no way, oh well, never mind eh chap??"

I have to admit I do the same as... crap they're on a previous page.. With the whole "boooooooooring" at the first sign of the line myself but if you want something else...

C


----------



## Kell (May 28, 2002)

Is it a Roadster? In which case he's got a point. 

Couldn't believe a guy at work called me a hairdresser when I was selling my TTC. I asked what car he drove and he replied 'an MGF'

:roll:


----------



## CkB (Jun 18, 2008)

Kell said:


> Is it a Roadster? In which case he's got a point.
> 
> Couldn't believe a guy at work called me a hairdresser when I was selling my TTC. I asked what car he drove and he replied 'an MGF'
> 
> :roll:


LOL - nothing like a smack around the chops with a good old house brick eh?? 

C


----------



## GhosTTy (Oct 10, 2007)

Tel him: Hairdresser's car is just so last year. These days it's more of a back, sack and crack mobile. :-*


----------



## jammyd (Oct 11, 2008)

GhosTTy said:


> Tel him: Hairdresser's car is just so last year. These days it's more of a back, sack and crack mobile. :-*


  :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


----------

