# Puns for those with a higher IQ



## Wallsendmag (Feb 12, 2004)

Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.

A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.
Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
Shotgun wedding - A case of wife or death.

A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.
What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead give away.)
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.
She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed
With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
Local Area Network in Australia - the LAN down under.
Every calendar's days are numbered.
A lot of money is tainted - Taint yours and taint mine.
A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.

Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
Acupuncture is a jab well done.


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## phodge (Sep 1, 2002)

wallsendmag said:


> A lot of money is tainted - Taint yours and taint mine.


 :lol: :lol: :lol:


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## j8keith (Jun 26, 2009)

:lol: :lol: :lol:


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## YELLOW_TT (Feb 25, 2004)

Didnt get any of them mate :wink: :lol: Also whats an IQ :lol:


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## Wallsendmag (Feb 12, 2004)

YELLOW_TT said:


> Didnt get any of them mate :wink: :lol: Also whats an IQ :lol:


Its a small Toyota, why ? :wink:


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## YELLOW_TT (Feb 25, 2004)

wallsendmag said:


> YELLOW_TT said:
> 
> 
> > Didnt get any of them mate :wink: :lol: Also whats an IQ :lol:
> ...


I just thought it might be your next car mate :wink:


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## Kell (May 28, 2002)

There was a pun-writing competition near me which I entered. I submitted 10 to increase my chances of winning, but unfortunately, no pun in ten did.


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## T3RBO (Dec 9, 2003)

wallsendmag said:


> YELLOW_TT said:
> 
> 
> > Didnt get any of them mate :wink: :lol: Also whats an IQ :lol:
> ...


 :lol: :lol: :lol:


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## j8keith (Jun 26, 2009)

YELLOW_TT said:


> Didnt get any of them mate :wink: :lol: Also whats an IQ :lol:


 IQ :?: its some sort of new Toyota I think.


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## Wallsendmag (Feb 12, 2004)

j8keith said:


> YELLOW_TT said:
> 
> 
> > Didnt get any of them mate :wink: :lol: Also whats an IQ :lol:
> ...


Wish I'd thought of that :roll:


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## Kell (May 28, 2002)

wallsendmag said:


> j8keith said:
> 
> 
> > YELLOW_TT said:
> ...


Can't believe you stole his idea, went back in time and then posted it and claimed it as your own.


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## markmcgookin (Jun 22, 2010)

wallsendmag said:


> Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?


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## Charlie (Dec 15, 2006)

Charlie


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## Mack The Knife (Jun 14, 2007)

:lol: :lol: :lol:


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## TT_Tesh (Feb 22, 2009)




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