# womens problems on a monthly basis



## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

MAXI PADS

This is an "actual letter" from an Austin, Texas woman sent to Proctor and Gamble regarding one of their feminine products. She really gets rolling after the first paragraph. This was PC Magazine's 2009 Editors' Choice award-winner for the best letter sent via e-mail.

Dear Mr. Thatcher,

I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts.

But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call 'an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.'

Isn't the human body amazing?

As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customer's monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women.

The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... Which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: 'Have a Happy Period.'

Are you f------ kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness, is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak, there will never be anything 'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.

For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or 'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong'.

Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullsh!t. And that's a promise I will keep.

Always. . ...

Wendi Aarons
Austin , TX

god bless my friend chickipoo for sending this to me via face book.


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## Callum-TT (Jun 3, 2013)

Lol


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## YoungOldUn (Apr 12, 2011)

Reminds me of the time when my youngest daughter was about 15 years old, She told me that I didn't know what it was like having period pains my answer to her was that with two daughters and a wife in the house she only suffered for one week in four while I suffered for three weeks out of the four!


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

YoungOldUn said:


> Reminds me of the time when my youngest daughter was about 15 years old, She told me that I didn't know what it was like having period pains my answer to her was that with two daughters and a wife in the house she only suffered for one week in four while I suffered for three weeks out of the four!


Now stick another daughter in the mix jim is where I am bud...


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## YoungOldUn (Apr 12, 2011)

Gazzer said:


> YoungOldUn said:
> 
> 
> > Reminds me of the time when my youngest daughter was about 15 years old, She told me that I didn't know what it was like having period pains my answer to her was that with two daughters and a wife in the house she only suffered for one week in four while I suffered for three weeks out of the four!
> ...


Gaz you have my full sympathies and understanding - PMT for 52 weeks of the year


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