# Me being a bit of a book snob.



## Kell (May 28, 2002)

In the past, I've shied away from those swashbuckling adventure type books as I thought they wouldn't appeal to me.

However, whilst on holiday, I finished both of my books and reluctantly took one from my Father in law to read.

Wilbur Smith - Monsoon.

I have to say that going the cover notes and illustration, I never would have picked it up in store, but it's excellent.

Well written and nicely rounded characters make for people you genuiely care about. Not only that, but unlike most books where you know that the every one of the main characters will make it to the end, while the 'bit players' will be sacrificed, things are different here.

While I was in Bicester at the weekend I bought a load more at the Books Etc factory shop.

So I guess I'm a numpty for not reading them before and it just proves the old adage...


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## raven (May 7, 2002)

Yeah, Wilbur Smith books are great. I know what you mean though and only ever read them on holiday. Wouldn't be seen dead reading them on the tube... :wink:


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## jampott (Sep 6, 2003)

I tend to buy whatever is in paperback in Tesco, Asda, Sainsburys etc and generally go for the crime, drama, serial killer, Grisham, Mcnabb, Ryan sort of stuff which hits the bestseller list - at least in the supermarket, anyway... and I rarely get a bad 'un


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## dee (Jun 3, 2005)

Dan Brown - read them all in 7 days... cant wait for the next one (?)


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## markh (May 6, 2002)

I was recently recomended to read the 'Dan Brown' books and am doing just that, very enjoyable.


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## head_ed (Dec 10, 2002)

Have read the other 3 and am on 'Deception Point' now, which I have to say is my favourite one so far.


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## dee (Jun 3, 2005)

head_ed said:


> Have read the other 3 and am on 'Deception Point' now, which I have to say is my favourite one so far.


they all die in that one Mart


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## jampott (Sep 6, 2003)

2 of the Dan Brown books were virtually identical in both style and substance, and the one about NASA was so bloody ridiculous, I had to keep reading just for the explanation...

I enjoyed the first of the 2 identical ones, and (mostly) the one about the military code breakers, and the 2nd of the identical ones (with the Pope) wasn't bad (just rehashed plot, really) but the NASA one was a joke. CRAP.


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## genocidalduck (May 19, 2005)

I'm never reading a book again.....Years ago when i was just a wee lad i read a book by Clive Cussler.....Adventure type James Bond thing.......I loved it and wished they made a movie of it.....What happened earlier this year they released Sahara. I thought brilliant and watched it and it was the biggest pile of shit ive ever seen a complete let down from the book i was not amused, Same thing goes for War of the Worlds, The Stand and half the Tom Clancy films. So now its either read a book that they dont make a film off or just dont read at all.


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## jonah (Aug 17, 2002)

genocidalduck said:


> I'm never reading a book again.....Years ago when i was just a wee lad i read a book by Clive Cussler.....Adventure type James Bond thing.......I loved it and wished they made a movie of it.....What happened earlier this year they released Sahara. I thought brilliant and watched it and it was the biggest pile of shit ive ever seen a complete let down from the book i was not amused, Same thing goes for War of the Worlds, The Stand and half the Tom Clancy films. So now its either read a book that they dont make a film off or just dont read at all.


Or just don't watch the film if you don't want to be disapointed :?


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## raven (May 7, 2002)

jonah said:


> genocidalduck said:
> 
> 
> > I'm never reading a book again.....Years ago when i was just a wee lad i read a book by Clive Cussler.....Adventure type James Bond thing.......I loved it and wished they made a movie of it.....What happened earlier this year they released Sahara. I thought brilliant and watched it and it was the biggest pile of shit ive ever seen a complete let down from the book i was not amused, Same thing goes for War of the Worlds, The Stand and half the Tom Clancy films. So now its either read a book that they dont make a film off or just dont read at all.
> ...


Or watch the film and then read the book. Seems a bit drastic to quit reading books just because a few have been made into crap films. [smiley=stupid.gif]


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## head_ed (Dec 10, 2002)

jampott said:


> 2 of the Dan Brown books were virtually identical in both style and substance, and the one about NASA was so bloody ridiculous, I had to keep reading just for the explanation...
> 
> I enjoyed the first of the 2 identical ones, and (mostly) the one about the military code breakers, and the 2nd of the identical ones (with the Pope) wasn't bad (just rehashed plot, really) but the NASA one was a joke. CRAP.


Fuck you then, argumentative arse


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## genocidalduck (May 19, 2005)

That is the obvious answer, however temptation gets the better of me esp if it was a good book, you hope that they might have actually followed the book this time and will be as good or better.


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## head_ed (Dec 10, 2002)

dee said:


> they all die in that one Mart


haha, have seen all of 'LOST' up to date now so you can talk away on that now!


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## dee (Jun 3, 2005)

head_ed said:


> dee said:
> 
> 
> > they all die in that one Mart
> ...


but have you seen the WHOLE series?

they find the tail section soon, and they have all been eaten by canibals, and the bones laid out as an offering to the monster in the jungle. The monsters where left there from a scientists who experimented on DNA found in the rain forests of pre historic creatures, and managed to clone them before all being killed. however some survived and bacame canibals who begin to hunt down the crash victims while they stray from camp or while they sleep and offer them to the mighty wizard canibal. who turns out to be a little man behind a curtain controling all the action. When they get bored, and follow the jungle trail all the way to the centre of the island, some get killed on the way, but at the end, they could have got home whenever they wanted, cos there is no place like home, no place like home,no place like home...

but I could have got the plot mixed up with another story :roll:


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## garyc (May 7, 2002)

Kell said:


> In the past, I've shied away from those swashbuckling adventure type books as I thought they wouldn't appeal to me.
> 
> However, whilst on holiday, I finished both of my books and reluctantly took one from my Father in law to read.
> 
> ...


Well the heroes always have firm jutting chins, flat taut muscular torsos and a black native companion who trotts alongside and who is more loyal than a dog. The heroines are always demure, feminine, but with that defiant strong-bird thing going on. The hero alaways gets to shag the heroine, but only in a sun-shone-brightly-though-the tent flaps (that's _tent _flaps Mart!) type way. The baddies are always sly and nasty, yet unwaveringly poilte and charming. The scenery is always impressive. And they do noy challenge th imagination one dot.

Perfect holiday reading, once one has replaced the cover with a Graeme Green or Heminway item.

I have read them all as 14 year old, but picked up 'Cruel as the Sea' (Tug Boat captain yarn fnnr fnnr) again last xmas and read it again. Sweet.

'When the Lion feeds' and the Courtenay series were best as I recall.

I dare you to read them on the tube. :twisted:

Better than Potter. :wink:


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## head_ed (Dec 10, 2002)

A couple of other authors to look out for are James Patterson & Carl Hiaasen.

JP writes the Alex Cross detective books (Along Came a Spider & Kiss the Girls were made into films with Morgan Freeman), a little formulaic but pretty easy going reading. Carl Hiaasen writes really good, funny crime novels (Striptease was one of his, but the book is MUCH funnier than the film. Plenty of flaps in that eh gary? ), 'Stormy Weather' & 'Lucky You' are two of my faves of his..

Mart.


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## Kell (May 28, 2002)

garyc said:


> Kell said:
> 
> 
> > In the past, I've shied away from those swashbuckling adventure type books as I thought they wouldn't appeal to me.
> ...


Courtenay one is the one I'm reading at the mo. Big enough book really to have been two. But in it, the guy I thought would be hero had his legs blown off then died.

Discovered the prequel to it, so bought that along with tow other randoms (including possibly the tug boat one).

And I am reading htem on the tube. Only chance I get to read these days.

FWIW, I normally favour your Michael Connoly, James Patterson, John Conolly, Lee Child, Michael Crichton type books.

I find it interesting that someone mentioned CLive Cussler as I borrowed one off someone that reaved about them, but I found it totally unbelievable with character narrative that was laughable.

Only in hos books and cheap radio ads do you find people telling each other stuff that they both already know purely for the sake of the reader/listener.

Still, one man's meat in another man's poison. Unless it's a Wilbur Smith book, in which case one man's meat is what all the women want.


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## garyc (May 7, 2002)

Skink. ;-)

I like Hiaason.


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## jampott (Sep 6, 2003)

I polished off another Bill Bryson book on the return trip to Barcelona - can't remember the exact title, but its a very funny trip around the UK - Short Notes from a Small Island or something like that.

I think he's a great writer... Short History was an amazing book.


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## Kell (May 28, 2002)

jampott said:


> I polished off another Bill Bryson book on the return trip to Barcelona - can't remember the exact title, but its a very funny trip around the UK - Short Notes from a Small Island or something like that.
> 
> I think he's a great writer... Short History was an amazing book.


Yep. Read pretty much everything by Bill Bryson that I can. Including Troublesome words and Mother Tongue (which I'm readign at the mo).

Love his style and the fact that for a Septic, he's pretty much an Anglophile.

Plus, he mentions my home town in ...'Small Island'. So he must be good.


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## head_ed (Dec 10, 2002)

I saw a one man show of 'Notes from a Small Island' it was done by Steve Steen & it was superb.. Bill Bryson is very funny too. 8)


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## head_ed (Dec 10, 2002)

Kell said:


> Love his style and the fact that for a Septic, he's pretty much an Anglophile.


I'm sure he could get cream for that


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## garyc (May 7, 2002)

err...why is this in the Flame Room? Isn't anyone going to criticize or lambast Kell for tucking into Wilbur? :twisted:

BTW the book I enjoyed most this year was 'Scar Tissue' - the Anthony Kiedis RHCP autobiog. Plenty of sex drugs and rock and roll.

Kell will you be regressing to Enid Blyton's Famous Five series in due course? If so can I borrow them afterwards. 

Forum Reading Group anyone? :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:

While I think about it, I also read 'Suedehead' and 'Skinhead' by Richard Allen last year, after I found them both for 50p in a charity shop. Both great reads.

Who needs Platos Republic? :lol: :lol: :lol:

ps is the one without legs in the Courtenays called Garry, by any chance? And was he a twin?


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## Kell (May 28, 2002)

garyc said:


> err...why is this in the Flame Room? Isn't anyone going to criticize or lambast Kell for tucking into Wilbur? :twisted:
> 
> BTW the book I enjoyed most this year was 'Scar Tissue' - the Anthony Kiedis RHCP autobiog. Plenty of sex drugs and rock and roll.
> 
> ...


Nope - your memory must be failing you in your old age.

Enid Blyton? The best one (and in fact the only one I remember) was the Magic Faraway tree.

Still if I wanted to read the ramblings of a racist, bigotted writer, I'd read the Sun everyday instead.

The last 'proper' (or 'wanky' as I like to call them) book I read was a collection of Kafka's stories, including Metamorphosis.


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## jampott (Sep 6, 2003)

Kell said:


> garyc said:
> 
> 
> > err...why is this in the Flame Room? Isn't anyone going to criticize or lambast Kell for tucking into Wilbur? :twisted:
> ...


I love that book (MFT). Moon Face, Angry Pixie, Silkie, Dick, Bessie and Fanny. Dame Washalot. Its a great read...


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## garyc (May 7, 2002)

Kell said:


> *Enid Blyton*? The best one (and in fact the only one I remember) was the Magic Faraway tree.
> 
> Still if I wanted to read the ramblings of a *racist, bigotted writer*, I'd read the Sun everyday instead.


Hmmmmmm.



garyc said:


> Well the heroes always have firm jutting chins, flat taut muscular torsos and *a black native companion who trotts alongside and who is more loyal than a dog.*


I should have added, _'to his *white* master'_

I think you may find that Smith books have created more discussion for their racial stereotyping, racist slurs, and white hero supremicist stuff, that Enid Blyton ever did. She was more likely to have upset the PC crowd and a few lesbians. Right on.

http://blackjew.blogspot.com/2004_11_01_blackjew_archive.html

Contains strong views on Smith, Hemmingway, the great white hunters etc.

They are just escapist books for the Swallows and Amazons generations anyway......


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## dee (Jun 3, 2005)

whaoooaaaa.... this thread is getting beyond me....

I read "Nuts" magazine on the tube


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## garyc (May 7, 2002)

dee said:


> whaoooaaaa.... this thread is getting beyond me....
> 
> I read "Nuts" magazine on the tube


When Enid Blyton and Wilbur Smith are getting beyond anyone I worry. :wink:


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## dee (Jun 3, 2005)

http://www.blufindivers.com/Fun/anykey.wav


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## raven (May 7, 2002)

If we're admitting to the trash we read recently, I read Piers Morgan's "The Insider" book whilst on hols. Can't stand the chap, but it was quite revealing (and frightening) how much tabloid editors and New Labour manipulate the news.

Must say I generally read factual books nowadays rather than fiction. For example, "Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers" by Mary Roach is absolutely fascinating.... :twisted:


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## misrule (May 6, 2002)

Kell said:


> Still if I wanted to read the ramblings of a racist, bigotted writer, I'd read the Sun everyday instead.


Oi! I may be long gone, but watch your mouth! 

And I used to love Wilbur Smith books before they became a clichÃ©. Try the early ones like Shout At The Devil.

Cheers

Mark


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## Steve_Mc (May 6, 2002)

As much as I enjoy a "wanky" read (no, not top shelf "jazz" :wink: ), there are times when an unchallenging read fits the bill better.

Ploughing my way through "Mao : The Unknown Story" currently, all 650 pages. Think I may need a cheeky Wilbur to unwind the brain after that one.


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## R6B TT (Feb 25, 2003)

I read a couple of Wilbur Smith's on holiday and enjoyed them - one was Goldmine, the other one was a big fat one about some South Africans having to escape to some other part of the country.

Interestingly there were 2 copies of the Da Vinci code in the left-behind book library in reception area of our apartments. Maybe that's why it's sold so many copies, every hotels / apartment / holiday place has its own little cache of discarded Dan Brown novels :wink:

I read Angels and Demons too - enjoyed that, but didn't think much of Digital Fortress.


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## misrule (May 6, 2002)

R6B TT said:


> Interestingly there were 2 copies of the Da Vinci code in the left-behind book library in reception area of our apartments. Maybe that's why it's sold so many copies.


No, they were left by people who realised it was nonsense 

For the full, if equally daft, "factual" version, read The Holy Blood And Holy Grail by Michael Baigent. It's rubbish, but entertaining rubbish.

Cheers

Mark


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## badger (Sep 3, 2002)

Jeffery Deaver - The Blue Nowhere 
Jeffery Deaver - The Vanishing Man

Enjoy

Deception Point - ABOW!


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## slg (May 6, 2005)

I'm surprised you all get a chance to read with the amount of time spent on here!!! :wink:


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## Kell (May 28, 2002)

slg said:


> I'm surprised you all get a chance to read with the amount of time spent on here!!! :wink:


I read while travelling to and from my place of forum browsing.


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## Kell (May 28, 2002)

garyc said:


> Kell said:
> 
> 
> > *Enid Blyton*? The best one (and in fact the only one I remember) was the Magic Faraway tree.
> ...


I did actually delete that quote from my post as I realised how it may be taken, however Tim quoted my post while I was editing it, so I thought I'd go back and put it in again.

I guess that having a black servant could either be seen as racist, if you're of that bent, or historically accurate (even in a wildly romanticised way), depending on your viewpoint.

It did strike me as odd for the book to mention slavery quite so often, but then by the same token, it does go on to say that any captured men were sold into slavery - Black, Arab, White...indeed the heroes spent three years in slavery before escaping.


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## pas_55 (May 9, 2002)

:wink: It's a slippery slope I'm sorry to say.Before you know it your'll be outside the local bookshop all night waiting for the latest Clive Cussler novel like a 'crack addict' waiting another 'fix' :wink:


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## scavenger (Jun 25, 2002)

I like Custler, all american hero they may be but a light enough read non the less.

Clancy is great, though they do drag on. Have always read fantasy books; Gemmell is awesome, Goodkind are pretty good too.


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## droopsnoot (Sep 5, 2002)

I read loads of fiction, but most of it comes from car boot sales and library book sales. I am way too cheap to pay Â£5.99 (pb) or Â£16.99 (hb) for a book when in a few months I can get it for a quid or less. Exceptions are John Grisham (except 'Painted House' - rubbish), Clive Cussler and one or two others. My Dad reads Wilbur Smith stuff, so by extension I read them all. I like all of them, but the relatively recent two connected ones were pretty good - Seventh Scroll and I think Warlock.

I picked up 'Da Vinci Code' and 'Digital Fortress' for 50p each a couple of weeks ago. Digital Fortress is utter rubbish, I hope the Da Vinci Code is better. Can't bring myself to read Andy Ryan stuff, makes me think of Ross Kemp in 'Extras' though of course it might be great really.


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## droopsnoot (Sep 5, 2002)

Enid Blyton, I reckon she was really taking the mickey out of everyone. Virtually every book has a character with a name that makes me think "oo-er" albeit in a childish way. We had the adventures of Mr Twiddle, the Famous Five ("Dick"), the Magic Faraway Tree ("Fanny"), and who knows what else. I enjoyed the Famous Five books when I was a kid, but the film was rubbish as they always are.

Someone else mentioned "Sahara" and to me the big problem is that all the main characters are way too young to have the experience that we know (from the book) them to have. They all look like they've had the weekend off from being in McFly, not spent years becoming world-renowned scientists. As a film it's not bad, but compared to the book it's crap.

Michael Connelly is good, and Robert Crais, and Harlan Coben too. I'm just getting into the Rebus books (can't remember the author right now) and Peter Robinson has some good stuff.


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## droopsnoot (Sep 5, 2002)

jampott said:


> I love that book (MFT). Moon Face, Angry Pixie, Silkie, Dick, Bessie and Fanny. Dame Washalot. Its a great read...


Wasn't Dick in the Famous Five? Surely it was "Joe" in the Faraway Tree? I stress that I haven't read it for ages, honest, so you might be right. I'd like to think I don't have my copy any more so I cannot check, but the rate I throw stuff out means it's probably still around somewhere.


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## jampott (Sep 6, 2003)

droopsnoot said:


> jampott said:
> 
> 
> > I love that book (MFT). Moon Face, Angry Pixie, Silkie, Dick, Bessie and Fanny. Dame Washalot. Its a great read...
> ...


Joe, Bessie and Fanny were the main kids, but "Cousin Dick" joined them in at least 1 book.

I think names have been changed in later (or foreign) versions to Jo, Frannie, Rick etc. :lol:


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## thejepster (Mar 29, 2005)

What set of books were you reading Tim???? 

Wasn't it Julian, Dick, Anne, George (Georgina) and Timmy the dog in the Famous Five?
:?


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## jampott (Sep 6, 2003)

thejepster said:


> What set of books were you reading Tim????
> 
> Wasn't it Julian, Dick, Anne, George (Georgina) and Timmy the dog in the Famous Five?
> :?


Err yeah. I was talking about the Magic Faraway Tree.


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## Carlos (May 6, 2002)

I have read all the Cussler/Dirk Pitt books. Started in my early teens and just carried on buying them. The problem with these authors is you start to recognise their style of writing and the phrases they use, and then they start to look corny. I've stopped enjoying Cussler books but I have to keep buying them.

Dan Brown. Read Da Vinci code a while ago and thought it was great. Bought Angels & Demons to take on holiday and thought it was the most ridiculous farce I've ever read. Priests parachuting out of helicopters, guy using a small square piece of fabric to slow his descent, happening to land in the river and being dragged out alive. Bonkers. I don't think I'll buy any more of those...


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## Kell (May 28, 2002)

Just to drag up the whole Wilbur Smith/racism thing again...

THe book I was reading (Monsoon) was published in 1999 and as such perhaps doesn't suffer from the same problems as some of the earlier work. Maybe he's addressed some of the concerns and maybe they were genuine concerns too.

I can't comment as I haven't read them.

Going back to Clive Cussler though - really couldn't get on with the one I read. Both him and Robert Ludlow (Bourne Identity etc) have characters in their books whose only purpose, it seems, is to impart information to the reader.

It really jars with the easy style of better writers.


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## dee (Jun 3, 2005)

Carlos said:


> Dan Brown. Read Da Vinci code a while ago and thought it was great. Bought Angels & Demons to take on holiday and thought it was the most ridiculous farce I've ever read. Priests parachuting out of helicopters, guy using a small square piece of fabric to slow his descent, happening to land in the river and being dragged out alive. Bonkers. I don't think I'll buy any more of those...


you mean it didnt really happen   

:?


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## garyc (May 7, 2002)

Kell said:


> Just to drag up the whole Wilbur Smith/racism thing again...
> 
> THe book I was reading (Monsoon) was published in 1999 and as such perhaps doesn't suffer from the same problems as some of the earlier work. Maybe he's addressed some of the concerns and maybe they were genuine concerns too.
> 
> ...


Agree Kell - the world looked different when WS was stamping out great white hunter epics back in the 60s 70s. WS has modified/developed his stance in novels over ths years to suit changing political/sociologal times and the emergence of Political Correctness amongst his middle class readership (and isn't the world better because of PC....? :wink: ). And, after all, they are only novels for churning through. So they achieve their objective on quite few levels. Clever eh?

Was it only me who thought that the Da Vinci Code was tedious predictable twaddle, with unintesting hero/heroine scenario and turgid detailing?


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## LakesTTer (Jan 19, 2005)

I enjoy the McNabb, Ryan tales so I can use all their Army lingo, it helps when I'm living in my fantasy "I'm in the Army" life. Bad Lads on the telly is also a good source of military jargon, I sit there on a night writing it all down and plan when I can next use it. Another good read is Soldier of Fortune, it's got tales of blokes in uniform(mail order), playing in the forests and jungles of the world, I particularly enjoy the bits at the end where you can buy DPM kit, assault vests and boot knives.................brilliant.
I hope the black tie dinner gets sorted, that add I found to use the WO's and NCO's Mess at Hyde Park Barracks was a real steal, fancy advertising in a mag, what were they thinking :? 
Anyway if it comes off, I'll take great pleasure in showing you all around, of course I'll have to break in, find where everything is, do a bit of research, learn about the Queens Life Guard, dodge the Barrack Guard, (I think that's what they call it), find a Mess Dress that fits, get a set of miniatures that make me look brave, get really drunk and find someone to ridicule, that's naturally assuming you've got the guts to turn up :wink: 
Back on topic, I read alot of Terry Pratchett, people think he writes kids books but his humour is superb and the stories really help me escape my fantasy military world.
Honestly, if I was going to lie about my job, I wouldn't lie about being a soldier. I'd be Golf Pro or a Dolphin Trainer :lol:


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## Kell (May 28, 2002)

LakesTTer said:


> Honestly, if I was going to lie about my job, I wouldn't lie about being a soldier. I'd be Golf Pro or a Dolphin Trainer :lol:


Apparently, Dolphin Trainer is the 'pretend job' most used by men wanting to chat people up.

Guess it's better than saying you work in I.T.


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## LakesTTer (Jan 19, 2005)

Kell said:


> LakesTTer said:
> 
> 
> > Honestly, if I was going to lie about my job, I wouldn't lie about being a soldier. I'd be Golf Pro or a Dolphin Trainer :lol:
> ...


 :lol: That'd be about right, I liked your use of "chicken sexer" in another thread, not heard that in ages [smiley=thumbsup.gif]


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