# Insults.



## STTink (Jun 28, 2011)

I've been in dialogue with some idiot on ebay over the last few days, all which ended up with him not buying the item and making me an offer when the auction ended. When he asked me if i was interested in an offer i replied "Non whatsoever. When the item is relisted it will be at the fixed price of £60."

I've received about 10 messages from him saying he thought my reply was out of order, he's shown it to his business partner who agreed.
The messages took a bit of a nose dive earlier when my final reply was "go grow a c*nt and fuck yourself".
Probably the wrong thing to do, but he managed to get on my last fucking nerve.

Let's have 'em.
Put downs and insults, what's the best you've read or heard.


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## alun (Aug 2, 2010)

my boss once to me to "go grow some balls, then fucking use them" when i was dealing with some issues with staff. :lol:


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## Gforce (May 10, 2011)

Your so ugly I wouldn't ride you into battle!


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## meesterbond (May 4, 2011)

Slightly unconventional but i like "with all due respect" i use it exclusively for arseholes who are clearly clueless directionless muppets that i have nothing but contempt for, and then follow it up with an eloquent tirade to belittle them . Cnuts.

Another favourite is when someone is talking, reach into your pocket, pull out some change, and then say "here's 10p ring someone who gives a fuck"

Or, "Were you born fucking stupid or is it just a skill you're trying to master?"

Maybe "For fucksake, have a day off wil you"


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## YoungOldUn (Apr 12, 2011)

Wife threw a glass at me when I said "The only time I have ever been wrong was the time I thought you were right"


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## Charlie (Dec 15, 2006)

I had a discussion with one of my friends about this years and years ago and we decided that the worst thing you could call someone was cuntface. We were about 20 at the time so things have moved on a bit 

Charlie


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## Gforce (May 10, 2011)

I quite like this one... Here mate take your face for a shite will you!

10million sperm and you? Were the fastest??

You should have been a blowjob!

If you want to insult a ginger send them a picture of a ginger root with the caption... Ginger even the plant is fucking ugly!


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## Charlie (Dec 15, 2006)

Gforce said:


> If you want to insult a ginger send them a picture of a ginger root with the caption... Ginger even the plant is fucking ugly!


 :lol: :lol: :lol:

I find just calling them "a ginger" works quite well 

Charlie


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## oceans7 (Oct 20, 2009)

'I tried to ride your mother last night but the fucking saddle would'nt fit'


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## davelincs (Jan 1, 2010)

Or, the best bit of you ran down your mums leg


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## oceans7 (Oct 20, 2009)

Have you seen your mum? We went out for a walk last night but the bitch managed to slip her collar.


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## oceans7 (Oct 20, 2009)

Your mums so ugly,last halloween the kid next door asked if he could borrow her face.


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## C.J (Mar 24, 2009)

C.unt.

Straight to the point, cuts through all the bullshit.

You fat c.unt, you stupid c.unt, you little c.unt, etc.

It's my most used word when needed. Other words just don't cut it.


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## Dash (Oct 5, 2008)

Why don't you stick your head out the window - feet first?


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

told my boss once that he was living proof that snow white and dopey had sex. kept my job too :?


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## Guest (Jul 26, 2011)

Fucktard is a favourite of mine.


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## Gforce (May 10, 2011)

I'm loving muntpig never seen it before I saw it here! think I have Charlie and jamman to thank for bringing it to my attention it gets used quite a bit at work now lol cheers


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## YoungOldUn (Apr 12, 2011)

The more I listen to you, the more I believe in contraception.


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## Wallsendmag (Feb 12, 2004)

mackem ,simple (most of them are) and to the point.


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## STTink (Jun 28, 2011)

wallsendmag said:


> mackem ,simple (most of them are) and to the point.


Anyone from the north east should automatically be banned from insulting anyone else from another area of the north east by default.
Pot,kettle,black.


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## Spandex (Feb 20, 2009)

STTink said:


> Anyone from the north east should automatically be banned


I think you could have just left it at that.


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## STTink (Jun 28, 2011)

Spandex said:


> STTink said:
> 
> 
> > Anyone from the north east should automatically be banned
> ...


 :lol:


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## Wallsendmag (Feb 12, 2004)

STTink said:


> wallsendmag said:
> 
> 
> > mackem ,simple (most of them are) and to the point.
> ...


mackem


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## STTink (Jun 28, 2011)

wallsendmag said:


> STTink said:
> 
> 
> > wallsendmag said:
> ...


Fuckin' handbag.


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## Chubster (Feb 14, 2011)

"Fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down"

"Face like a clumsy beekeeper"

"Face like a burst sausage"

"Face caught fire when they were young and mother put it out with a baseball bat,father used a shovel to make sure"

"Simon Weston's stunt double" (poor taste I know but I have had a person instantly shut up and leave the room with this one"

"Mong Cunt"

"If brains were dynamite you wouldnt have enough to blow your nose"


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## Kell (May 28, 2002)

Are you a professional cun+ or just a talented amateur?


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## burns (Jun 2, 2009)

I don't mean to patronise you...that means talk down to you.


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## R80RTT (Feb 5, 2011)

I ve had this last week.. Over selling a rear quattro sport rear bar... It read REAR BAR only... I got a question which then asked whats involved in a rear seat delete kit... to which I answered. He bought the item, then refused to cancel the transaction when I tried telling him the bar was only included in the sale. He then threatend to take me to court, to which I replied its Invitation to treat... I spent over four days arguing with him.... cant people read on ebay or something???


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## garyv6 (Jul 24, 2010)

For when u see a butt ugly lad n his bird pushing their chavvy down the high street in a robbed pram

'there you go living proof that two donkeys can make a racehorse'


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## Tangerine Knight (Jul 25, 2010)

my favourites

product of incest

resident of middle earth


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## Lovinit (Mar 5, 2011)

my friend and i were waiting for a guy to pull in to a space and was taking ages... i mean it was austin powers all over again... he was blocking the whole street, finally the guy finally managed to get half in, my friend just opened the door and stood up half out the car and shouted

" Old people fuck faster than u park" and then got back in and we drove off... I swear i and about five others who were watching on the street were in stitches... It was just completey random.. Ah a great day! 

James


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## Gforce (May 10, 2011)

Will you do ----- for me?

Reply..... I'd rather sh!t in my hands and clap!!


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## nilanth (Mar 30, 2007)

1. your mum should have swallowed you

2. you are a thunder cnut


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