# Lazy-arsed, can't be fucked, wanky police force.



## Kell (May 28, 2002)

Got a panicked phone call from the wife this morning to say that the speech dialler of our alarm had rung her to say that someone was in our house.

So, doing what any normal person would do, she rang the police.

Five minutes later they ring back to say they don't know where the house is (it's a new build), so as she explains to them where it is, they tell her that they won't be sending anyone to investigate.

Eventually, after 45 minutes, we find out that it's the builders (who are still on site) that have gone in (without telling us they were going to) and they've set it off.

When my wife was on the phone to the police she said, "I suppose if I told you I'd shot the burglars you'd come round then then?" Â To which she was reminded that the phone call was being recorded.

And people wonder why the police have no public support.

Cun7s.


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## vlastan (May 6, 2002)

Why should the builders still have your house keys? You should consider changing the locks for peace of mind!


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## Kell (May 28, 2002)

We gave them the keys last week for some work that needed doing, and instructed them to inform us of when they were going to do it, so that we could not set the alarm.

They did some work last week and everything was fine, because we knew when they were coming in. however, the wife has given them a right royal roasting this morning.


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## raven (May 7, 2002)

That reminds me of something on the radio the other day:

A women called the police to say that there was a burglar in her house, they replied that they were very busy, noone was available right now, and that someone would be around in about 45 minutes. After putting the phone down, she then phoned them back to say not to bother coming round as she had shot the burglar. Within 45 seconds she had 3 police cars outside her house, and 12 policemen. They caught the burglar, but then the policeman said, "I thought you said you had shot him?" to which she replied, "I thought you said you had nobody available?"

Great story, even if it isn't true!


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## BreTT (Oct 30, 2002)

> That reminds me of something on the radio the other day:
> 
> A women called the police to say that there was a burglar in her house, they replied that they were very busy, noone was available right now, and that someone would be around in about 45 minutes. After putting the phone down, she then phoned them back to say not to bother coming round as she had shot the burglar. Within 45 seconds she had 3 police cars outside her house, and 12 policemen. They caught the burglar, but then the policeman said, "I thought you said you had shot him?" to which she replied, "I thought you said you had nobody available?"
> 
> Great story, even if it isn't true!


And if true, she probably would have been charged with wasting police time etc. :-/


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## Nik-S3 (Nov 6, 2002)

reason number 10232 figure (ii) as to why this country sucks big donkey bollocks

no-one cares anymore, crime is now acceptable, and the police are merely the 1st line in insurance claims

they refused to free tony martin because "hes a danger to burglars"

so what are burglars then? a recognised section of society now? total wank, the whole system

house gets burgled, you give offender damn good hiding, and hold him whilst police arrive

he goes free for its only his second offence, you go away for GBH

bloody liberals are too busy finding jobs for each other to find out why people are robbing others, and concentrating on their rehabilitation

little shits are rubbing their hands with glee, they'll probably form a union soon


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## jgoodman00 (May 6, 2002)

It is not the fault of the police though. If you speak to them, they agree. It is the system which sucks. Unfortunately, the utter crap which constitutes human rights means the police have little power to do anything except persecute motorists.

The people who work for the police are just normal people, & they want the same as us. It is the politicians, & <even more so> the people who make the nonsense EU legislation which are taking away their power. It is the same at school with teachers. When I was at school, I respected teachers. Now the kids know they have the trump cards, & behave accordingly.

What we need is to completely shun the EU, & throw out all of the human rights crap. The immigrant who murdered the policeman last week should be chained up on the Yorks moors & left to rot, along with any others who care to show defiance to our country. The police should be given the power to perform their duties properly.

Unfortunately, I guess it is easier to save lives by prosecuting speeding motorists, than by trying to stop murders etc. However, there must be a happy medium somewhere between the two... :-/


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## vlastan (May 6, 2002)

A report last week was saying that you are most likely to get mugged in the UK than the US!!


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## BreTT (Oct 30, 2002)

> It is not the fault of the police though. If you speak to them, they agree. It is the system which sucks. Unfortunately, the utter crap which constitutes human rights means the police have little power to do anything except persecute motorists.
> 
> The people who work for the police are just normal people, & they want the same as us. It is the politicians, & <even more so> the people who make the nonsense EU legislation which are taking away their power. It is the same at school with teachers. When I was at school, I respected teachers. Now the kids know they have the trump cards, & behave accordingly.
> 
> ...


I agree in general with what you are saying here. Both my brother-in-law and sister-in-law are in the police and some of the stuff they have to put up with I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.

The system sucks, but I guess the politicians have to justify their existence somehow. Don't get me started on the EU - off topic somewhat, but what is this nonsense about an island that is less than 1km from the mainland is not an island?! What???

See http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/2676177.stm for more on this nonsense.


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## vlastan (May 6, 2002)

But some of these islands are connected by bridge to the mainland!!

An island has to be accessible by boat only to be called an island.


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## BreTT (Oct 30, 2002)

> But some of these islands are connected by bridge to the mainland!!
> 
> An island has to be accessible by boat only to be called an island.


_Some_ are - those that are not but less than 1km away from the mainland are not going to be either under the new legislation. Anyway, this is going far too off topic to belong here. I just thought it was another example of us funding politicians to do completely pointless work.

Back on topic, from what my brother and sister-in-law say, they really look down on the traffic police and consider them to be w*nkers too!


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## jgoodman00 (May 6, 2002)

> Back on topic, from what my brother and sister-in-law say, they really look down on the traffic police and consider them to be w*nkers too! Â


lol...


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## mosschops (Dec 31, 2002)

Coppers - hmm pretty useless. The problem with all these bloody burgulars is that there are some really rum bastards amongst them. At my house all the car owners take their keys upstairs - problem is that some of these twats wouldn't think twice about coming upstairs for your keys / money / valuables. We had an attempted break-in a few months ago - under most circumstances I am a passive person - but if I got the chance to go hand to hand with them then I would probably kill them, wrap them in a bin bag - chuck the in the back of the motor (if they weren't dead the smell of sick would finish them off) and then "Dispose" [smiley=behead.gif] of them. Dont think anyone would miss them.

Perhaps I've been watching too much coronation street.....


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## jgoodman00 (May 6, 2002)

Getting off topic again, but if you debone the body, I am sure the rats et al will dispose of the flesh for you very quickly. You could then grind the bones, & sprinkle them from your car as you drove somewhere remote...

What do you think? ...


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## Nik-S3 (Nov 6, 2002)

with your vomit smell conumdrum, wouldnt you be better off letting them take the car and claiming on theinsurance? Â 
although they'd probably just return the car !


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## vlastan (May 6, 2002)

Put the thief in the bin bag and get the kids to fill it up with puke!!

...first torture then death!! ;D ;D


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## IanWest (May 7, 2002)

Vlastan- following your usual ramblings, are you now saying that the UK is no longer an Island as we are accessible by the tunnel as well as boat?

Constant, constant crap. ;D


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## vlastan (May 6, 2002)

quote author=IanW link=board=Flame;num=1043145421;start=10#16 date=01/22/03 at 10:49:59]Vlastan- following your usual ramblings, are you now saying that the UK is no longer an Island as we are accessible by the tunnel as well as boat?

Constant, constant crap. ;D[/quote]

Thats a difficult one!! 

According to the EU directive, it must be a bridge connecting the mainland to the island to qualify as Non island, here we have a tunnel!!

But there are plans to build another tunnel where you can driver directly your car...so lets see what the EU will say then.


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## bigsigh (Jul 16, 2002)

Minor detour:

How many burgulars can you fit in the boot of a TT?

Assuming that you haven't deboned them or cut them into managable parts. Two is probably the max as long as they're not of the couch potato type.

You don't want to scuff the interior or knock the parcel shelf. The rattle would drive you mad.

I favour a tow rope from the rear tow point to their feet. A nice gravelly road upto about 60mph at a steady pace. This has the advantage of dismembering the bodies without messing up the interior.

Dispose of the rope carefully and you avoid the nasty blood stains on the boot floor.


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## vlastan (May 6, 2002)

BigSigh...you are pro aren't you?  ;D


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## bigsigh (Jul 16, 2002)

V are you looking for a contractor? [smiley=knife.gif] [smiley=rifle.gif]


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## vlastan (May 6, 2002)

I am indeed...are you offering?


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## bigsigh (Jul 16, 2002)

Vlastan you understand that by agreeing this in open forum you have signed you own death warrant and that of everyone who reads this - you understand that I have to protect myself from prosecution.

Nothng personal just business. 8) [smiley=freak.gif] 8)

[smiley=skull.gif] Vlastan sleeps with the fishes. [smiley=skull.gif] 
(Even in death he heads for the bottom)


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## vlastan (May 6, 2002)

Business IS business!!


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## PaulS (Jun 15, 2002)

> [smiley=skull.gif] Vlastan sleeps with the fishes. [smiley=skull.gif]
> (Even in death he heads for the bottom)


  ;D  ;D Vlastan maintains his reputation Â  You can always guarantee a G***k will want to fcuk you up the ja*****

ON TOPIC - I agree, the police have become a bunch of civil servants, quite happy to spend hours on paperwork, but some body is robbing your house, or stealing your car, and it's more or less 'book an appointment with us next week' Are they understaffed? I don't even seem to see traffic patrols anymore?


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## Kell (May 28, 2002)

> Are they understaffed? I don't even seem to see traffic patrols anymore?


Unless you happen to be driving a little enthusiatically, that is.


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## bigsigh (Jul 16, 2002)

Twisted logic for you

"Its less important to attend a crime scene after the fact, we are saving our resources to attend crime as they happen"

Reactive not proactive.


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