# using a calculator and then a phone



## Kell (May 28, 2002)

Why are the buttons on a calculator one way up the buttons on a phone the other way up.

I keep dialling completely wrong numbers after using a calculator for more than five minutes.


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## ronin (Sep 6, 2003)

LOL ;D


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## garyc (May 7, 2002)

Reverse Polish?


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## KevinST (May 6, 2002)

Try placing a mirror above the phone keypad ;D


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## Dont I Recognise You (Oct 10, 2003)

hold the calculator upside down.

Then you get to type ESSOOIL on it too


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## head_ed (Dec 10, 2002)

Just don't start talking into the calculator you'll look a right twat!  ;D


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## jam (May 8, 2002)

> hold the calculator upside down.
> 
> Then you get to type ESSOOIL on it too Â


or SHELLOIL 

cheers

James


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## SteveS (Oct 20, 2003)

or 5317006 ;D


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## DXN (May 18, 2002)

or 55378008

[high pitched voice] he he he he he[/ high pitched voice]

;D


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## Dont I Recognise You (Oct 10, 2003)

> or 5317006 Â ;D


click, click, click - ROFL!


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## Dont I Recognise You (Oct 10, 2003)

oh dear, what have we started.....

5318008


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## garyc (May 7, 2002)

how about patting yer pate whilst rubbing yer tummy?


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## Guest (Nov 27, 2003)

> how about patting yer pate whilst rubbing yer tummy?


Is that MMMatterson's pate


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## racer (Feb 3, 2003)

Will it be illegal to use the caluculator function of a mobile phone whilst driving your car? ???


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## Dont I Recognise You (Oct 10, 2003)

> Will it be illegal to use the caluculator function of a mobile phone whilst driving your car? ???


only if you're sitting upside down, trying to make up rude words......


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## scoTTy (May 6, 2002)

Sorry for the serious post : 



> The standard telephone keypad, with us since the earliest days of the mass produced touch tone phone (circa 1963) was designed like a calculator keypad -- except upside down. The first keypad designers were afraid that if they exactly mimicked the calculator pad, people would enter phone numbers more quickly than first generation circuits could accept them. By inverting the keypad, they confused people enough to make them slow down. Through the power of standards, the upside-down design has stayed with us until now.


Oh and in case you're getting used to it, check out the Nokia 3650 :-/


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## SteveS (Oct 20, 2003)

Crumbs, never knew that . Just like qwerty then.


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## SteveS (Oct 20, 2003)

> only if you're sitting upside down, trying to make up rude words......


lol.

"I wasn't making a phone call, honest officer."


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## garyc (May 7, 2002)

> Reverse Polish?


..went waaay over the heads. 

Try this:

http://www.calculator.org/rpn.html

Logical?


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## SteveS (Oct 20, 2003)

> ..went waaay over the heads.


Ahem, 'bout the same height that Concorde used to fly.



> Logical?


Yes, but I'm happier with brackets and my trusty abacus ;D.

Odd thing is I remember the acronym BODMAS, but not what it stood for; I've never really found a use for "difficult sums"  since leaving school :-[. I never do much more than the odd "cost of project" spreadsheet these days and that's as complex as it's ever been since the 5th form :.


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## garyc (May 7, 2002)

Can anyone remember how to use a slide rule?


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## PaulS (Jun 15, 2002)

> I've never really found a use for "difficult sums"  since leaving school :-[. I never do much more than the odd "cost of project" spreadsheet these days and that's as complex as it's ever been since the 5th form :.


LOL!

The most complicated thing I do nowdays is work out my Tax return!

Slide rule - funnily enough I found one when at my (now late Â :-[) Father-In-Laws the other day. Now I know how to use it (my dad taught me) but by the time I started doing regular calculations, Sinclair was _the_ (only) pda to have Â 

Volts-amps-resistance, or Virgins are Rare, was an easy formula to remember Â 

I still do not have the faintest idea of how to compose a text message on my Phone. Since I got a new one in the Summer, entering individual letters just brings up various random words, all beginning with the same letter. Can't be ar**d to plough through the operations manual Â :


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## Dont I Recognise You (Oct 10, 2003)

> Odd thing is I remember the acronym BODMAS, but not what it stood for


Brackets
Operators
Division
Multiplication
Addition
Subtraction

(Order of presidence) ;D

Says he with a daughter who has recently done her SATS - (11+ in my day).

'Daaaaaad - what does this mean?'
'um - go ask your Mum....' :-[

(So credit for this post to my missus )


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## ttimp (Jul 9, 2003)

> Volts-amps-resistance, or Virgins are Rare, was an easy formula to remember Â


When I did my apprenticeship, in less politically correct times, the resistor colour code was taught using the following: black ba*tards rape our young girls but virgins g w (forgot the last two!)



> I still do not have the faintest idea of how to compose a text message on my Phone


I don't struggle with the calc / phone thing cos I use my left thumb to type txt but normally my index finger of the other hand for a calculator.

Try the phone after reading the manual and playing, once it clicks in your head it is surprisingly easy, either that or turn off T9 and just stab the keys the same number of times as the required letter is nested on the key


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## Dont I Recognise You (Oct 10, 2003)

> turn off T9 and just stab the keys the same number of times as the required letter is nested on the key


T9 - first thing I ever turn off 
If i thort i kneedid a fone to corect my speling I woodnt mined so much!


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## ttimp (Jul 9, 2003)

> T9 - first thing I ever turn off Â


But it makes txt'ing so much easier once you get the hang of it. I just wish you could delete words from the dictionary or that it could be intelligent enough to offer words in the order you used 'em on previous occasions. Sod pressing 84433 to get 'the'. Still, having a 916 you must be used to having difficulty with electrical / electronic things!!!!.


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## Dont I Recognise You (Oct 10, 2003)

> Still, having a 916 you must be used to having difficulty with electrical / electronic things!!!!.


Oi! *

* well - ok - ROFL! 

PS.
My normal txt (to the missus) normally runs to 'luv u c u soon XXX'

T9 makes that 'Juv t a t room www' - which I don't *think* would go down quite so well


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## coupe-sport (May 7, 2002)

> When I did my apprenticeship, in less politically correct times, the resistor colour code was taught using the following: black ba*tards rape our young girls but virgins g w (forgot the last two!)


*lol* - i still use that as its the only one i can remember - just sticks in my head :-[ ... get wanked ( ??? ) was the final two words...


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## scoTTy (May 6, 2002)

ISO7 layer model:

*P*rincess *D*i *N*ever *T*ried *S*ex with *P*rince *A*ndrew


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## ttimp (Jul 9, 2003)

> PS.
> My normal txt (to the missus) normally runs to 'luv u c u soon XXX'


Type it in and save it as a template then. Might be an idea to do another one while you're at it:

"b l8, w8ing for RAC 2 cum and start bike!"

(I should talk, seeing as how I seemed to be the only bloke with a brand new Blade boiling over in the queue to WSB at Brands a couple of years back)


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## coupe-sport (May 7, 2002)

> Princess Di Never Tried Sex with Prince Andrew


*lol* - wait till Burrells next revelations... :-X


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## Kell (May 28, 2002)

The only one I remember was one I made up myself (as part of an assignment) for remembering the order of the planets.

MOST VIKINGS EXCEPT MARTIN JUMP SIDEWAYS UP NONSENSE POEMS.


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