# Golf



## boabt (May 7, 2002)

Toward the end of the golf course, Dave somehow managed to hit his ball into the woods finding it in a patch of pretty yellow buttercups. Trying to get his ball back in play, he ended up thrashing just about every buttercup in the patch.

All of a sudden . . .POOF! In a flash and puff of smoke, a little old woman appeared. She said,I'm Mother Nature! Do you know how long it took me to make those buttercups? Just for that, you won't have any butter for your popcorn the rest of your life; better still; you won't have any butter for your toast for the rest of your life.....as a matter of fact, you won't have any butter for anything the rest of your life! 
THEN POOF!....she was gone.

After Dave got hold of himself, he hollered for his friend, Fred.

Fred, where are you?

Fred yells back, I'm over here, in the pussy willows.

Dave yells back......DON'T SWING, FRED!!!

For the love of God, DON'T SWING!!!


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## BreTT (Oct 30, 2002)

Reminds me of the only other golf joke I know....

Moses and Jesus are playing golf with an old man. On the 220 yard par 3, Moses tees off and is heading straight for the water. Suddenly, the waters part, the ball bounces across the dry riverbed and trickles onto the green, to polite applause.

Jesus steps up to the mark and tees off. He too is heading straight for the water when, miraculously, the ball bounces on the water and trickles onto the green, again, to polite applause.

The old man steps up and tees off. It is a wild shank which heads deep into the trees and lands in heavy rough. A squirrel grabs the ball and heads off to bury it. At that moment, a cat grabs the squirrel and heads off, with the squirrel and ball. Suddenly, a bald headed eagle swoops from the sky and grabbing the cat, the squirrel and the ball.

Just as it is flying off to it's eyrie a bolt of lightning strikes the eagle and it drops the cat, squirrel and ball. The ball lands on the green, and fantastically rolls slowly into the hole! A hole in one!

Jesus turns to the old man and says, "Dad, if you are not going to play fairly, don't play at all!" Â ;D


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## saint (Dec 6, 2002)

[smiley=bigcry.gif]


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## jampott (Sep 6, 2003)

> Reminds me of the only other golf joke I know....
> 
> Moses and Jesus are playing golf with an old man. On the 220 yard par 3, Moses tees off and is heading straight for the water. Suddenly, the waters part, the ball bounces across the dry riverbed and trickles onto the green, to polite applause.
> 
> ...


A tad unbelievable, since Jesus was supposedly born some 1800+ years prior to the invention of golf......


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## BreTT (Oct 30, 2002)

> A tad unbelievable, since Jesus was supposedly born some 1800+ years prior to the invention of golf......


Pedant!


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