# NEWS FLASH !!



## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

A major earthquake measuring 5.8 on the Richter scale hit in the early
hours of Monday 06th March 2003.
Epicentre: Canvey Island,Essex.

Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly muttering "fockin mentoe",
"innit" and "cont". The earthquake decimated the area causing
approximately GBP30.00 worth of damage. Several priceless collections
of mementos from the Balearics and Spanish Costa's were damaged beyond
repair. Three areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed. Many
locals were woken well before their giro arrived. Essex News reported
that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered, still trying to
come to terms with the fact that something interesting had happened in
Canvey. One resident - Tracy Sharon Smith, a 15-year-old mother of 5
said " It was such a shock, my little Chardonnay Mercedes came running
into my bedroom
crying. My youngest two: Tyler-Morgan and Megan-Storm slept through
it
all. I was still shaking when I was watching Kilroy the next morning."
Apparently though, looting, muggings and car crime did carry on as
normal. The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of
Sunny Delight to the area to help the stricken locals. Rescue workers
are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities
of personal belongings, which include benefit books, jewellery from
Elizabeth Duke at Argos and Bone China from Poundland.

HOW CAN YOU HELP
This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing, parcels for those
unfortunate to be caught up in this disaster. Clothing is most sought
after, items most needed include: Fila or Burberry baseball caps, Kappa
tracksuit tops (his and hers), Shell suits (female) White sport socks
Rockport boots and any other items usually sold in Primark. Food parcels
may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same. Required
foodstuffs include Microwave meals, tins of baked beans, ice cream and
cans of Colt 45 or Special Brew. 22p buys a biro for filling in the
compensation forms, GBP2.00 buys chips, crisps and blue fizzy drinks for
a family of 9, GBP5.00 will pay for a packet of B&H and a lighter to
calm the nerves of those affected.

Please do not send tents for shelter, as the sight of posh housing is
unfair on the population or neighbouring areas of Vange, Pitsea and
Laindon.


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## proeliator2001 (Feb 26, 2003)

total class ;D
[smiley=dude.gif] [smiley=clown.gif]


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## stevieteetee (Oct 20, 2002)

he he ;D


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## pgm (May 7, 2002)

classic ;D


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