# My Confession (What's Yours?)



## Skeee (Jun 9, 2009)

Not sure if this applies under the new child neglect ruling but have to confess I may have to recharge the battery on my baby for a third (2nd consecutive) time in as many months due to being off the road for so long! 

However in my defense I recently got an awesome pushbike and I do need the exercise! :roll:


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## Lollypop86 (Oct 26, 2013)

I'm not cleaning mine enough

J
xx


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## X5TUU (Sep 4, 2012)

Ive just managed to smash the soap dispenser in the gents toilets in the office ... whoops


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## Cloud (Sep 4, 2012)

At least you use soap - it'll be interesting to know how many people actually notice that it's broken! :?


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## mighTy Tee (Jul 10, 2002)

Mine is on SORN


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## Kyudo (Nov 29, 2014)

Put a deposit on a new R1 and not told the wife


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## YELLOW_TT (Feb 25, 2004)

mighTy Tee said:


> Mine is on SORN


So are both of mine


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## Shug750S (Feb 6, 2012)

Kyudo said:


> Put a deposit on a new R1 and not told the wife


  I'm looking at either a new MT07 or a street tripple, but won't mention it until after it's in the garage.

When I swapped my black Hornet for a new Fireblade it was weeks before she noticed, then one day she asked "wasn't your bike a black one?" - the 'blade was bright red, with fairing etc...


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## Kyudo (Nov 29, 2014)

Shug750S said:


> Kyudo said:
> 
> 
> > Put a deposit on a new R1 and not told the wife
> ...


I kept a zx10 in the back of a van out side my house for 3 weeks once when I booked a Holliday and the boss was happy 
I stuck it in the back garden she never said a word lol


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## SalsredTT (Jan 8, 2011)

I've stopped taking my tablets (oooer missus!) because of the new drug driving rules - not told my doctor.

Not sure if this is wise, but its a confession!


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## Mr Funk (Apr 27, 2014)

I read the daily mail at work because it makes me angry and reminds me that im not as bad as I think and that I need to keep working hard. The comments on the "science" section remind me that most people are fucking broken


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## Spandex (Feb 20, 2009)

Mr Funk said:


> I read the daily mail at work because it makes me angry and reminds me that im not as bad as I think and that I need to keep working hard. The comments on the "science" section remind me that most people are fucking broken


The Daily Mail has a science section?!? Is it just a list of things that give you cancer (immigrants, the EU, paedophiles, etc)?


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## Mr Funk (Apr 27, 2014)

It is genuinely the funniest/most worrying thing you will read all day.
I've been scanning it for years and seen it develop. As the Mail's readership has increased (the paper itself is one of the most popular in the world) the comments have gotten more and more bizarre.
It's mostly:
angry climps blaming immagrants/the eu/the government/the illuminati. This also includes the conspiracy theorists
Very angry right leaning fundamentalists (these tend to be the Americans although there's a fair few Brits)
People claiming to be scientists and either: proving things with actual science or just making shit up.
Atheists
It's become a bit of a farce as its gone on though as you can spot the trolls. I've got a few screenshots of some of the best bits, I'll try and remember to put them up.
Give it a go if you need need a laugh


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## rustyintegrale (Oct 1, 2006)

Cloud said:


> At least you use soap - it'll be interesting to know how many people actually notice that it's broken! :?


I went to a school where they taught me not to piss on my hands. Where did you go?

Seriously I think my body parts are cleaner than most washing facilities. No way do I trust any public washing facilities.


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## northern_mike (Feb 2, 2015)

I work with in the medical profession. One of the disease specialists I know always insists on washing his hands before going for a slash, not after..

Vorsprung berk Technik


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## Shug750S (Feb 6, 2012)

northern_mike said:


> I work with in the medical profession. One of the disease specialists I know always insists on washing his hands before going for a slash, not after..
> 
> Vorsprung berk Technik


I hate opening the door in public loos on leaving after washing my hands, as it's always a question, did the last person wash theirs?


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## Cloud (Sep 4, 2012)

The general manager of the company I work for (he's now left) was a nasty bully. Every employee hated him and he had taken it upon himself to sexually harass my work colleague, who was frightened of reporting him for fear of not being believed.

He demanded a coffee, as per usual, so off I went to put the kettle on. While waiting for it to boil, I saw a dead spider on the floor. I kept looking at the spider, then his cup, then the spider, and before I knew it, the spider was in his cup. I poured the water over it but it bobbed to the surface  Despite my best efforts to sink the dehydrated arachnid with a spoon, there was no option other than to let it 'infuse' for a while, then fish it out.

I handed him his coffee and sat with a silly smug look on my face while I watched him drink it, complete with essence of spider! :roll:


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## Tangerine Knight (Jul 25, 2010)

Karen,remind me not to let you buy me a drink at the next meet


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## Cloud (Sep 4, 2012)

Ha ha, no chance of that happening Kurt! :lol:


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## Mr Funk (Apr 27, 2014)

Cloud said:


> The general manager of the company I work for (he's now left) was a nasty bully. Every employee hated him and he had taken it upon himself to sexually harass my work colleague, who was frightened of reporting him for fear of not being believed.
> 
> He demanded a coffee, as per usual, so off I went to put the kettle on. While waiting for it to boil, I saw a dead spider on the floor. I kept looking at the spider, then his cup, then the spider, and before I knew it, the spider was in his cup. I poured the water over it but it bobbed to the surface  Despite my best efforts to sink the dehydrated arachnid with a spoon, there was no option other than to let it 'infuse' for a while, then fish it out.
> 
> I handed him his coffee and sat with a silly smug look on my face while I watched him drink it, complete with essence of spider! :roll:


Post of the week


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## j8keith (Jun 26, 2009)

Mr Funk said:


> Cloud said:
> 
> 
> > The general manager of the company I work for (he's now left) was a nasty bully. Every employee hated him and he had taken it upon himself to sexually harass my work colleague, who was frightened of reporting him for fear of not being believed.
> ...


 :lol: :lol: Brilliant, was he last seen climbing up the side of a building ?


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## Otley (May 15, 2013)

Cloud said:


> The general manager of the company I work for (he's now left) was a nasty bully. Every employee hated him and he had taken it upon himself to sexually harass my work colleague, who was frightened of reporting him for fear of not being believed.
> 
> He demanded a coffee, as per usual, so off I went to put the kettle on. While waiting for it to boil, I saw a dead spider on the floor. I kept looking at the spider, then his cup, then the spider, and before I knew it, the spider was in his cup. I poured the water over it but it bobbed to the surface  Despite my best efforts to sink the dehydrated arachnid with a spoon, there was no option other than to let it 'infuse' for a while, then fish it out.
> 
> I handed him his coffee and sat with a silly smug look on my face while I watched him drink it, complete with essence of spider! :roll:


On a similar note, years ago we all went on a jolly boys outing from work. 2 of my colleagues hated each other with a vengeance. On the coach on the way back one of the two fell asleep, the other, who was sat next to me was handing out boiled sweets. After everyone took a sweet this kid turned to me, said "Here watch this!" picked one from the nearly empty bag, shoved it down his pants and rubbed it round the ring of his ar$e. He then put it back in the bag and held it near the top, so it would be the next one picked out. You've grasped it, when the chap he disliked woke up this kid thrust the bag towards him and said "Here pal, this has gone on long enough, here's a peace offering."
I was nearly barfing but as I didn't really care for either of them and their silly arguing I said nothing. [smiley=oops.gif]

As for TT related confessions..... I still haven't got round to replacing my broken front road spring yet.


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## northern_mike (Feb 2, 2015)

My confession - once went to a posh dinner party with an ex-girlfriend, full of real expat snobs at the time I lived in Greece. Got pissed up, offended a few people by being a rough Northerner and they asked her to get me home as I was causing problems. I said ok, but then went for a piss on the way out via their bathroom, and pissed all over the sink and especially the taps. Mopped it to ensure it looked reasonably normal.

I'm not usually like that at all, but some types wind me up.

Vorsprung berk Technik


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## John-H (Jul 13, 2005)

_"Mallon admitted poor hygiene, saying she did not understand the purpose of hand-washing because she did not pose a risk."_: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Typhoid_Mary


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## rustyintegrale (Oct 1, 2006)

I just hate using public toilets. I normally run off at leadt three feet of toilet roll and use that to open any doors.

This country is full of scummy peopke


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## Skeee (Jun 9, 2009)

Otley said:


> Cloud said:
> 
> 
> > The general manager of the company I work for (he's now left) was a nasty bully. Every employee hated him and he had taken it upon himself to sexually harass my work colleague, who was frightened of reporting him for fear of not being believed.
> ...


 Oh no!
Toilet humour, coffee, and management being a PITA!
That reminds me of something terrible a few years ago! And No! I didn't do anything! That's the confession- I should've done as I caught the young lad in the act!
(I won't go into details but the tea urn didn't start off that full!)


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## John-H (Jul 13, 2005)

I remember a few years ago reading about a car mechanic who thought it would be funny to pour some brake fluid into his mate's open can of coke whilst he wasn't looking. Brake fluid tastes sweet and he didn't notice and drank it. He ended up with brain damage and his mate got sent down.

I did wonder if they had had the proper training and whether the garage management were partly responsible. It was a "joke" as they were mates but clearly didn't realise the possible consequences.


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

My mother in law (the hag) never ceased to slate me to other family members not realising it all got back to me. So every visit she made to our house she loved the frothy coffee I made her, great what a good spit in her cup achieved each time


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