# You've seen this before ........



## Hev (Feb 26, 2005)

I know this has been posted before ..................... but I love it soooooooo much

After every flight, Quantas pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, 
which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft 
during the flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct 
the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what 
remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before 
the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a 
sense of humour. Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and 
problems as submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by 
maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that 
has never had an accident.

(P = The problem logged by the pilot.) 
(S = The solution and action taken by the engineers.)

P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement. 
S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. 
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit. 
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield. 
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent. 
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. 
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud. 
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. 
S: That's what they're there for.

P: IFF inoperative. 
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield. 
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing. 
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search!

P: Aircraft handles funny. 
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums. 
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit. 
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding 
on something with a hammer. 
S: Took hammer away from midget.

Hev x :lol:


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## John C (Jul 5, 2002)

old but still v funny - kinda like Saint tbh


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## Hev (Feb 26, 2005)

jacTT225 said:


> old but still v funny - kinda like Saint tbh


 :lol: :lol: :lol: :wink:

Hev x


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## gt russell (Nov 27, 2005)

brilliant not seen that before


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## Hilly10 (Feb 4, 2004)

funny :lol: :lol:


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## purplett (Dec 9, 2002)

Brill :lol: :lol: :lol:


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## TTej (Sep 10, 2003)

i like it


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## saint (Dec 6, 2002)

:lol: :lol: :x :lol: :lol: :lol: :x :lol: :lol: :lol:

Ya buggers


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## Hev (Feb 26, 2005)

saint said:


> :lol: :lol: :x :lol: :lol: :lol: :x :lol: :lol: :lol:
> 
> Ya buggers


keep up! 

Hev x


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## saint (Dec 6, 2002)

you know me !! :wink:


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## saint (Dec 6, 2002)

oh it's ok - we'll slag you off tomorrow night!! Unless of course you're buying the pints!!


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## ValTT (Jun 18, 2006)

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


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