# Audi TT put-downs and how to defend against them....



## antcole (Apr 4, 2009)

Right.... ive wanted a TT eversince they appeared on the market back in..... nineteen ninety frozen to death... and now im buying one.
However, someone once said to me that if i bought one id have to buy some scissors and become a hairdresser....

Another unsavory arse, said they are just flattened beetles.....

So here's the thing, can anyone list their top 10 replies or put-downs that may be used in defence of ANY and i mean ANY derogatory description of the TT or its owner...

Need good ones here, there must be a few..... the bastards wont take me alive...


----------



## YELLOW_TT (Feb 25, 2004)

I am sorry but if you are going to talk shit can you take a step back as it makes your breath stink


----------



## antcole (Apr 4, 2009)

Nice!
Thats the stuff....


----------



## cuTTsy (Jan 31, 2003)

There are quite a few here...
viewtopic.php?f=10&t=128618


----------



## sporTTyminx (Mar 5, 2009)

I suppose something like,

'Jealousy is such an unattractive quality. But then again you are wholly unattractive, so it suits you.'

Just a thought!


----------



## LEDZEPP (Jan 17, 2009)

just take a pair of knickers out of your glove boxand tell him, to return them to his mum,because she enjoyed the ride......
or just keep sending pics of audi tt to his mobile.


----------



## antcole (Apr 4, 2009)

yeah, like em...

thought of another....

"well at least its paid for...."

keep em comin...


----------



## hooting_owl (Sep 3, 2008)

twat: 'are you a hairdresser?'

you: 'would you like me to cut your hair?'

if the twat says 
'er, no...'
then the reply is
'well why the fuck are you asking me if i am a hairdresser. fuck off'

if the twat says 'yes' , then cut all their hair off with a kitchen knife.

alternatively, look overly amused and say 'i have not heard that one before - how amusing'. and then tell them to fuck off.


----------



## hooting_owl (Sep 3, 2008)

...forgot to say that if you upset the meatheads around where i live, they cut your hair with a blowlamp - not scissors. 
so your answer is

'i don't use scissors, i prefer to use a blowlamp'


----------



## Apaddler (Nov 19, 2008)

In a thread somewhere someone says " actually it's a hair STYLIST's car, so fuck off."
I like that because it's self-deprecating and offensive at the same time.


----------



## scoTTy (May 6, 2002)

You guys are just soooooo sensitive :lol:


----------



## antcole (Apr 4, 2009)

But arent hairdressers or 'STYLISTS' supposed to be sensitive.....? :lol:

Well, i work in the oil fields of Sudan and i can tell you there are no hairdressers... in fact if someone were daft enough to ask for a bit off the back and sides out here.... it might provoke a whole different story....

Its easier to get an ak 47 than a short back an sides.

If you were an actual hairdresser, and you buy a TT, then someone tells you "thats a hairdressers motor", it could cause a very confusing scenario.
Possibly bringing about the global collapse of attempted witty humour as we know it.... fairly serious stuff.

One for Steven Hawking i think.


----------



## Yermucker (Apr 4, 2009)

If they call it a hairdressers car, simply pull out a can of hair spray, strategically place your lighter in front of it, and proceed to flame throw their facial region, all the while calling them daft fuckers. Should sort the men from the boys that. [smiley=devil.gif]


----------



## garyc (May 7, 2002)

Maybe you could just rise above the comments?

Or sell the TT if they get too much. :wink:

Sticks and stones etc.


----------



## YELLOW_TT (Feb 25, 2004)

I can always get out of the car you will always be a wanker


----------



## denimblue225 (Feb 18, 2009)

If you get "were do you keep your scissors?" line, when someone see's your car I always reply with " they are in the door pocket next to the tub of shut the fuck up!"

that seems to stem the insults :wink:


----------



## denimblue225 (Feb 18, 2009)

denimblue225 said:


> If you get a "were do you keep your scissors?" line, when someone see's your car I always reply with " they are in the door pocket next to the tub of shut the fuck up!"
> 
> that seems to stem the insults :wink:


----------



## Anneymouse (Dec 29, 2008)

denimblue225 said:


> next to the tub of shut the fuck up!"
> 
> :


 :lol: :lol:


----------



## antcole (Apr 4, 2009)

I just experienced a 100% genuine, never before heard, original, proper wizard "why did you buy a blonde German hairdressers car?" witty quip...............

Ha ha ha ha haaaaaaaa..... ahhhhh.... NEW RIBS PLEASE!!

I had several options in front of me an i was going to just reply with - do i look like a fuckin hairdresser?
I opted for - "...very good, you ever say that again and youll be eating thru a fuckin straw for the next 6 weeks you tit......"

It didnt go well.

I think its better to rise above these things.
I will cross that one off the list anyway.


----------



## SaintScoTT (Jun 27, 2008)

the hairdressers one is real old.

I think I had it on one of my gaming forums once, and I replied with something like ...

"wow, that was very witty. Did you come up with that yourself? You're very clever, did it take you long?"


----------



## YELLOW_TT (Feb 25, 2004)

antcole said:


> I just experienced a 100% genuine, never before heard, original, proper wizard "why did you buy a blonde German hairdressers car?" witty quip...............
> 
> Ha ha ha ha haaaaaaaa..... ahhhhh.... NEW RIBS PLEASE!!
> 
> ...


I think my answer would have been because I'm gay fancy a shag pritty boy then blown him a kiss and a little wink


----------

