# Gangster rap crap



## PaulS (Jun 15, 2002)

Why is it every time I retune my wireless, all I seem to hear is this Gangsta "Gangster Rapping" music? Â 

No I don't know what you are saying. Maybe if you stopped saying _d'ya know what I'm sayin'_ every other fucking sentence, I might be able to understand what you are saying! Do you Know what _I'm_ saying? Â 

I couldn't give a toss about your violent parents, your crack habit, or your self inflicted 'cool' stab wounds. And stop shuffling around the streets dressed DHSS style with your head wobbling about as if it's disconnected from you neck! May be it's the weight of all those gold chains dangling around it that's causing you problems.

Take your shitty attitude right back across the Atlantic, back to your 'projectz', your 'ghettoz' and your 'Hoodz'. We don't have those things over here Â


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## racer (Feb 3, 2003)

Gangsta rap isn't what it used to be. ;D

Artist: N.W.A.
Album: Straight Outta Compton
Song: Straight Outta Compton

You are now about to witness the strength of street knowledge

Verse One: Ice Cube

Straight outta Compton, crazy motherf**ker named Ice Cube
From the gang called ****** With Attitudes
When I'm called off, I got a sawed off
Squeeze the trigger, and bodies are hauled off
You too, boy, if ya f**k with me
The police are gonna hafta come and get me
Off yo ass, that's how I'm goin out
For the punk motherf**kers that's showin out
****** start to mumble, they wanna rumble
Mix em and cook em in a pot like gumbo
Goin off on a motherf**ker like that
with a gat that's pointed at yo ass
So give it up smooth
Ain't no tellin when I'm down for a jack move
Here's a murder rap to keep yo dancin
with a crime record like Charles Manson
AK-47 is the tool
Don't make me act the motherf**kin fool
Me you can go toe to toe, no maybe
I'm knockin ****** out tha box, daily
yo weekly, monthly and yearly
until them dumb motherf**kers see clearly
that I'm down with the capital C-P-T
Boy you can't f**k with me
So when I'm in your neighborhood, you better duck
Coz Ice Cube is crazy as f**k
As I leave, believe I'm stompin
but when I come back, boy, I'm comin straight outta Compton

Chorus:

[City of Compton, City of Compton]

[Eazy E] Yo Ren
[MC Ren] Whassup?
[Eazy E] Tell em where you from!

Verse Two: MC Ren

Straight outta Compton, another crazy ass *****
More punks I smoke, yo, my rep gets bigger
I'm a bad motherf**ker and you know this
But the pussy ass ****** don't show this
But I don't give a f**k, I'ma make my snaps
If not from the records, from jackin the crops
Just like burglary, the definition is 'jackin'
And when illegally armed it's called 'packin'
Shoot a motherf**ker in a minute
I find a good piece o' pussy, I go up in it
So if you're at a show in the front row
I'm a call you a b***h or dirty-ass ho
You'll probably get mad like a b***h is supposed to
But that shows me, slut, you're composed to
a crazy muthaf**ker from tha street
Attitude legit cause I'm tearin up s**t
MC Ren controls the automatic
For any dumb muthaf**ker that starts static
Not the right hand cause I'm the hand itself 
every time I pull a AK off the shelf 
The security is maximum and that's a law
R-E-N spells Ren but I'm raw
See, coz I'm the motherf**kin villain
The definition is clear, you're the witness of a killin
that's takin place without a clue
And once you're on the scope, your ass is through
Look, you might take it as a trip
but a ***** like Ren is on a gangsta tip
Straight outta Compton...

Chorus:

[City of Compton, City of Compton]

[Dr. Dre] Eazy is his name and the boy is comin...

Verse Three: Eazy-E

...straight outta Compton
is a brotha that'll smother yo' mother
and make ya sister think I love her
Dangerous motherf**ker raises hell
And if I ever get caught I make bail
See, I don't give a f**k, that's the problem
I see a motherf**kin cop I don't dodge him
But I'm smart, lay low, creep a while
And when I see a punk pass, I smile
To me it's kinda funny, the attitude showin a ***** drivin
but don't know where the f**k he's going, just rollin
lookin for the one they call Eazy
But here's a flash, they never seize me
Ruthless! Never seen like a shadow in the dark
except when I unload, see I'll get over the hesitation
and hear the scream of the one who got the last penetration
Give a little gust of wind and I'm jettin
But leave a memory no one'll be forgettin
So what about the b***h who got shot? f**k her!
You think I give a damn about a b***h? I ain't a sucker!
This is the autobiography of the E, and if you ever f**k with me
You'll get taken by a stupid dope brotha who will smother
word to the motherf**ker, straight outta Compton

Chorus:

[City of Compton, City of Compton]

[Damn that s**t was dope!]


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## vagman (Sep 6, 2002)

Sorry Racer, but can you run that past me again. ;D


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## newcasTTle (Nov 29, 2002)

bring back public enemy - at least they had an agenda...


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## garyc (May 7, 2002)

> Take your shitty attitude right back across the Atlantic, back to your 'projectz', your 'ghettoz' and your 'Hoodz'. We don't have those things over here Â


Ice T is bringing it to Bristol next month. So I'll be checking him out. He's a class act with a genuine underpriveliged background. Some of his commentary about the music industry is right on the mark. At least that's what my bitch ho sorry wife says 

I do agree to an extent. It's a black Ameriacn inner city thing that middle England cannot identify with, although a considerable number of 15 year old WASP boys get very into it.

This is the culture that has bought self-gloryifing consumer vulagarity and the whole bling bling deal to us.     A bit like Victoria Beckham ;D ;D ;D


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## coupe-sport (May 7, 2002)

NWA - class.

anyway - any of it gives the sub a good workout


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## imster (Apr 26, 2003)

Ah yes the good old days, NWA, 2Live Crew, Public Enemy, that was some dope shit!!


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## racer (Feb 3, 2003)

> Sorry Racer, but can you run that past me again. ;D


You asked for it. 

Artist: N.W.A. 
Album: Straight Outta Compton 
Song: Straight Outta Compton

You are now about to witness the strength of street knowledge

Verse One: Ice Cube

Straight outta Compton, crazy motherf**ker named Ice Cube 
From the gang called ****** With Attitudes 
When I'm called off, I got a sawed off 
Squeeze the trigger, and bodies are hauled off 
You too, boy, if ya f**k with me 
The police are gonna hafta come and get me 
Off yo ass, that's how I'm goin out 
For the punk motherf**kers that's showin out 
****** start to mumble, they wanna rumble 
Mix em and cook em in a pot like gumbo 
Goin off on a motherf**ker like that 
with a gat that's pointed at yo ass 
So give it up smooth 
Ain't no tellin when I'm down for a jack move 
Here's a murder rap to keep yo dancin 
with a crime record like Charles Manson 
AK-47 is the tool 
Don't make me act the motherf**kin fool 
Me you can go toe to toe, no maybe 
I'm knockin ****** out tha box, daily 
yo weekly, monthly and yearly 
until them dumb motherf**kers see clearly 
that I'm down with the capital C-P-T 
Boy you can't f**k with me 
So when I'm in your neighborhood, you better duck 
Coz Ice Cube is crazy as f**k 
As I leave, believe I'm stompin 
but when I come back, boy, I'm comin straight outta Compton

Chorus:

[City of Compton, City of Compton]

[Eazy E] Yo Ren 
[MC Ren] Whassup? 
[Eazy E] Tell em where you from!

Verse Two: MC Ren

Straight outta Compton, another crazy ass ***** 
More punks I smoke, yo, my rep gets bigger 
I'm a bad motherf**ker and you know this 
But the pussy ass ****** don't show this 
But I don't give a f**k, I'ma make my snaps 
If not from the records, from jackin the crops 
Just like burglary, the definition is 'jackin' 
And when illegally armed it's called 'packin' 
Shoot a motherf**ker in a minute 
I find a good piece o' pussy, I go up in it 
So if you're at a show in the front row 
I'm a call you a b***h or dirty-ass ho 
You'll probably get mad like a b***h is supposed to 
But that shows me, slut, you're composed to 
a crazy muthaf**ker from tha street 
Attitude legit cause I'm tearin up s**t 
MC Ren controls the automatic 
For any dumb muthaf**ker that starts static 
Not the right hand cause I'm the hand itself 
every time I pull a AK off the shelf 
The security is maximum and that's a law 
R-E-N spells Ren but I'm raw 
See, coz I'm the motherf**kin villain 
The definition is clear, you're the witness of a killin 
that's takin place without a clue 
And once you're on the scope, your ass is through 
Look, you might take it as a trip 
but a ***** like Ren is on a gangsta tip 
Straight outta Compton...

Chorus:

[City of Compton, City of Compton]

[Dr. Dre] Eazy is his name and the boy is comin...

Verse Three: Eazy-E

...straight outta Compton 
is a brotha that'll smother yo' mother 
and make ya sister think I love her 
Dangerous motherf**ker raises hell 
And if I ever get caught I make bail 
See, I don't give a f**k, that's the problem 
I see a motherf**kin cop I don't dodge him 
But I'm smart, lay low, creep a while 
And when I see a punk pass, I smile 
To me it's kinda funny, the attitude showin a ***** drivin 
but don't know where the f**k he's going, just rollin 
lookin for the one they call Eazy 
But here's a flash, they never seize me 
Ruthless! Never seen like a shadow in the dark 
except when I unload, see I'll get over the hesitation 
and hear the scream of the one who got the last penetration 
Give a little gust of wind and I'm jettin 
But leave a memory no one'll be forgettin 
So what about the b***h who got shot? f**k her! 
You think I give a damn about a b***h? I ain't a sucker! 
This is the autobiography of the E, and if you ever f**k with me 
You'll get taken by a stupid dope brotha who will smother 
word to the motherf**ker, straight outta Compton

Chorus:

[City of Compton, City of Compton]

[Damn that s**t was dope!]


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## imster (Apr 26, 2003)

lol!!! ;D ;D


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## Ruffles (May 6, 2002)

Artist: Lil' Kim 
Album: Â Hardcore
Song: Â Not Tonight

I know a dude named Jimmy used to run up in me
Night time pissy drunk off the henny and rimmy
I didn't mind, when he fucked me from behind
It felt fine, 'specially when he used to grind it
He was a trick when I sucked his dick
Used to pass me bricks, credit cards and shit
Suck him to sleep, I took the keys to the jeep
Tell him "I'll be back," go fuck with some other cats
Flirtin', gettin' numbers, in the summer, hoe hop
Raw top in my mans drop
Then this homey Jimmy, he's scremain "Gimme,"
Lay me on my back, bustin' nuts all in me
After ten times we fucked, I think I bust twice
He was nice, kept my neck filled with ice
Put me in Channels, kept me out nights
Called suckin' his dick, rockin' tha mike
It was somethin' about this dude I couldn't stand
Somethin' that coulda made his ass a real man
Somethin' I wanted, but I never was pushy
The motherfucker never ate my pussy

Chorus: I don't want dick tonight, eat my pussy right
Â Â Â Uh, uh, uh, uh Lil' Kim, Lil' Kim, bring it to me now

I know a dude named Ron Doo push a Q
Had a wild crew on Flatbush and Avenue U
Had a weedspot, used to pump African black
He used to seal his bag so his workers wouldn't cap
I used to see him, in the tunnel, with fuckers at dawn
Whisper in my ear he wanna get his fuck on
I dug him, so I fucked him, it wasn't nuttin'
He wanted me to suck him, but I didn't, I aint frontin'
The sex was wack, a four stroke creep
I jumped on his dick, rode his ass to sleep
He called next week, askin' why I aint beep him
"I thought your ass was still sleepin."
He laughed, told me he bought a new Path
Could he come over right fast and fuck my pretty ass?
I'll pass, ***** the dick was trash
If sex was record sales you would be double plat
The only way you seein' me is if you eatin' me
Downtown taste my love like Horace Brown
Tryin' to impress me with your five G stones
I give you ten G's ***** if you leave me alone, screamin'

Chorus

The moral of the story is this
You aint lickin' this, you aint stickin' this
And I got witnesses, ask any ***** I been with
They aint hit shit till they stuck they tongue in this
I aint with that frontin' shit
I got my own Benz, I got my own ends, immediate friends
Me and my girls rock worlds, some big ******
Fuck for car keys, and double digit figures
Good dick I cherish, I could be blunt
I treat it like it's precious, I aint gonna front
For limp dick ******, that's frontin' like they willy
Suck my pussy till they kill me, you feel me?

Chorus


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## coupe-sport (May 7, 2002)

Liberated women eh ? - what a bitchin ho


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## Kell (May 28, 2002)

I liked the I've been listening to RAP of all kinds since about 1985 and have to say that a lot of, but not all, of hte modern stuff is shite.

Ice T, Schooly D, Big Daddy Kane, Eric B & Rakim = Genious.


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## Dubcat (Jun 10, 2002)

Nice list - especially Kane - i'd add ultramagnetic mc's, Dj Jazzy Jeff and Fresh Prince (may have been lightweight but I LOVED that stuff man), KRS1 and Scott La Rock (BDP Productions), Run DMC, LL Cool J (my radio), UTFO, Kool Moe Dee, Roxanne Shante, Slick Rick and Egyptian Lover...

If there HAD to be an anthem though - it was Planet Rock - Afrikka Bambaata.

Brings back memories


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## Dubcat (Jun 10, 2002)

Ice T lost it when he went through that thrash metal type rage against the machien thingy phase imho..  He IS the original pimp though - do you remember his album covers with delores on them wearing a rubber band? She is his wife 

W.


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## Rhod_TT (May 7, 2002)

Hello! This is the 'Gangster rap crap' thread, not the 'I love rap' thread! Â  Talk about posting off topic... I recon the moderator should delete all of your postings as they are as off topic as you can get. 

I'm with PaulS on this one. That's why I don't listen to the radio much (unless it's Radio 2 - Rock On 8)). That's what a 6 CD changer is for. Rage Against the Machine all the way, and no IceT (cept Bodycount) to ruin my mood. 8)


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## Kell (May 28, 2002)

Aye - I remember the Power album most of all.

I really want to buy a record player again so that I can record all my old vinyl onto CD. :-/

Got about 150 Vinyl Albums - most of which are Hip Hop


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## Kell (May 28, 2002)

In fact - just for your delectation...here's a list of all my old hip hop LP's. Â : Â (I've taken out all the embarrassing ones like Whitney Houston (Why???)

1. Afrika Bambattaa- Planet Rock 
2. Afros, The - Kickin' Afrolystics 
3. Arrested Development - 3 yrs, 5 months and 2 days in the life of 
4. Arrested Development - Zingalamaduni 
5. Audio Two - I don't Care 
6. Bell Biv Devoe - Poison 
7. Big Daddy Kane - Long live the Kane 
8. Big Daddy Kane - Taste of Chocolate 
9. Black, Rock and Run - Stop the World 
10. Blige, Mary J - What's the 411? 
11. Boo Yaa Tribe - New Funky Nation 
12. Boogie Down Productions - By all means necessary 
13. Boogie Down Productions - Criminal Minded 
14. Boogie Down Productions - Ghetto Music - blueprint of Hip Hop 
15. Boogie Down Productions - Man and his music 
16. Brand New Heavies - Brand New Heavies 
17. Brand New Heavies - Brother Sister 
18. Brand New Heavies - Heavy Rhyme Experience: vol 1 
19. Brand New Heavies - Original Flava 
20. Carlton - The call is strong 
21. Caveman - Positive Reaction 
22. Colour Me Badd - C.M.B. 
23. Daddy Freddy - Stress 
24. De La Soul - 3 ft high and rising 
25. Demon Boyz - Recognition 
26. DJ Jazzy Jeff & the Fresh Prince - He's the DJ, I'm the Rapper 
27. DJ Mark the 45 King - Master of the game 
28. Donald D - Notorious 
29. EPMD - Strictly Business 
30. EPMD - Unfinished Business 
31. Eric B & Rakim - Paid in Full 
32. Funkdoobiest - Which Doobie U B? 
33. GangStarr - Step in the arena 
34. Gheto Boys, The - Geto Boys 
35. Goats, The - Tricks of the shade 
36. Ice Cube - The Predator 
37. Ice T - O.G. Original Gangster 
38. Ice T - Rhyme Pays 
39. Ice T - The Iceberg 
40. Innocence - Build 
41. Intelligent Hoodlum - Back to Reality 
42. Isis - Rebel Soul 
43. Just Ice - Kool and Deadly 
44. Just Ice - The Desolate one 
45. K9 Posse - K9 Posse 
46. Kid 'n' Play - 2 Hype 
47. Kid 'n' Play - Face the Nation 
48. King Sun - Righteous but ruthless 
49. King T - Act a Fool 
50. Kool Moe Dee - Funky Funky Wisdom 
51. Kool Moe Dee - Knowledge is King 
52. Kwame - The Boy genius 
53. Lewis, Ephraim - Skin 
54. LL Cool J - 14 Shots to the dome 
55. LL Cool J - Bigger & Deffer 
56. LL Cool J - Mama said knock you out 
57. LL Cool J - Mr Smith 
58. LL Cool J - Radio 
59. LL Cool J - Walking with a panther 
60. M.C. Shan - Born to be wild 
61. M.C. Shan - Play it again, Shan 
62. Mantronix - This should move ya 
63. Marley, Bob (and the Wailers) - Burnin' 
64. Marley, Bob (and the Wailers) - Uprising 
65. Master Ace - Take a look around 
66. MC Duke - Organised Rhyme 
67. MC Duke - Return of the Dread-I 
68. MC Lyte - Lyte as a rock 
69. MC Twist - Bad Influence 
70. MC Twist and the Def Squad - Comin thru like warriors 
71. Michel'Le - Michel'Le 
72. Monie Love - Down to Earth 
73. Naughty by Nature - Naughty by Nature 
74. Nikki D - Daddy's little Girl 
75. NWA - NWA and the posse 
76. NWA - Straight outta Compton 
77. Olu - Reaching Out 
78. Original Concept - Straight from the basement of Kooley high 
79. Outlaw Posse - My Afro's on fire 
80. Outlaw, Brothers like - The oneness of 2 minds in unison 
81. Overlord X - Weapon is my lyric 
82. Paris - The devil made me do it 
83. Priest, Maxi - Best of me 
84. Redhead Kingpin and the FBI - A shade of Red 
85. Rob Base & DJ EZ Rock - It takes two 
86. Run DMC - Back from Hell 
87. Run DMC - King of Rock 
88. Run DMC - Raising Hell 
89. Run DMC - Run DMC 
90. Run DMC - Tougher than Leather 
91. Seal - Killer 
92. Shabazz, Lakim - Pure Righteousness 
93. Sir Mix a lot - S.W.A.S.S. 
94. Skinny Boys - Skinny (Can't get enough) 
95. Soul 2 Soul - Volume 2: 1990 a new Decade 
96. Soul 2 Soul - Volume 3: Just Right 
97. Stetsasonic - In Full Gear 
98. Stezo - Crazy Noise 
99. The 7A3 - Coolin in Cali 
100. Three Wizemen - GB Boyz 
101. Tone Loc - Loced after Dark 
102. Twin Hype - Twin Hype 
103. Ultramagnetic MC's - Critical Beatdown 
104. UTFO - Bag it & Bone it 
105. Various - Compton Compliation 
106. Various - Def Jam Classics: vol 1 
107. Various - Fresh New Beats 
108. Various - Jazzmatazz: vol 1 
109. Various - Latin Alliance 
110. Various - Whiz Kid v's Jazzy Jeff 
111. Wee Papa Girl Rappers - The Beat, the Rhyme, the Noise 
112. Young Disciples - Road to Freedom 
113. Young MC - Stone Cold Rhymin


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## garyc (May 7, 2002)

Brand New Heavies = Hip Hop?

You're having a laugh Kell. Â Â :-/ Â I thought they were part of the Acid Jazz movement of early/mid 90s

Ditto Mary J Bilge. Matronix, Arrested Development, Seal, Soul to Soul, CMB....

All down to interpretation I guess. 

PS BOB MARLEY !!!!!!!!


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## Rhod_TT (May 7, 2002)

Kell,

You call that a record collection? Â : Its more like a collection of randomly recorded gibberish.

Saying that, I expect you'll think mine is a cacophony of random noise... Â But it's music to my ears. ;D

If you want to get all that stuff onto CD try getting an MP3 player with direct encoding (recording) from www.mp3players.com (a few have that feature). You can record from the LP and encode direct into MP3 then transfer to your PC and burn on to CD (in CD format). That's what I was thinking of doing one day (not that I've got a lot of LPs or anything - all my parents really).


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## Dubcat (Jun 10, 2002)

Kell - PLEASE burn those albums man PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE! Â And when you do can I have a copy of the CD with all the tracks? Â 
W.
p.s. i'd have to be pretty stoned to count maxi priest as hip hop


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## Kell (May 28, 2002)

OK - so I din't take all of the non hip hop ones off.


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## Kell (May 28, 2002)

Gary - yes, you're right BNH were Acid Jazz through and through, but the heavy rhyme Experience LP was fantastic.

Featured their funky funky basslines, with Raps over the top by the likes of Kool G Rap, Grand Puba, Ed OG and Masta Ace. Â I thought it was great given that it successfully (IMHO) combined two of my favourite types of music.

And when looking for the picture below, I've jsut noticed that they're about to do a volume 2. Â ;D


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## garyc (May 7, 2002)

> Gary - yes, you're right BNH were Acid Jazz through and through, but the heavy rhyme Experience LP was fantastic.
> 
> Featured their funky funky basslines, with Raps over the top by the likes of Kool G Rap, Grand Puba, Ed OG and Masta Ace. Â I thought it was great given that it successfully (IMHO) combined two of my favourite types of music.
> 
> And when looking for the picture below, I've jsut noticed that they're about to do a volume 2. Â ;D


You are right, that is a fine LP regardless of genre classification.  Vol 2 eh...?


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## Steve_Mc (May 6, 2002)

Not all modern hip-hop is crap, just most of it 

Black-eyed Peas, Mos Def, Princess Superstar amongst the most recent stuff all worth a listen. Going back a little bit (and I can't believe nobody else has checked them), my personal faves A Tribe Called Quest. From Bonita Applebum:

"You and me, hun, we're a match made in heaven 
I like to kiss ya where some brothas won't 
I like to tell ya things some brothas don't 
If only you could see through your elaborate eyes 
Only you and me, hun, the love never dies 
Satisfaction, I have the right tactics 
And if you need 'em, I got crazy prophylactics"


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## Kell (May 28, 2002)

I did put a caveat in my post saying that most, but not all, modern stuff is poo.

50 Cent, Black Eyed Peas, Jurassic 5, Eminem they're all good. And I don't mean that 's'all good'.

And as for Tribe, I loved a lot of their stuff, and have a fiar few 12" and 7" vinyls, but never got around to buying the LP. Â Don't know why really. I have a fantastic remix of Can I kick it called the Von Trapp remix - interspliced with bits of the sound of music.


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## Dr_Parmar (May 10, 2002)

HELLO PEOPLE!! 2 PAC!! WEST SIDE ;D


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## Kell (May 28, 2002)

Starter for ten - which group was Tupac part of before he became just Tupac?


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## Dr_Parmar (May 10, 2002)

Digital underground  with Humphrey someone!


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## Kell (May 28, 2002)

The ficticous Humpty hump.

As made famous by the song - the Humpty Dance.

Verse One: Humpty Hump (Shock G) 
All right! 
Stop whatcha doin' 
'cause I'm about to ruin 
the image and the style that ya used to. 
I look funny 
but yo I'm makin' money see 
so yo world I hope you're ready for me. 
Now gather round 
I'm the new fool in town 
and my sound's laid down by the Underground. 
I drink up all the Hennessey ya got on ya shelf 
so just let me introduce myself 
My name is Humpty, pronounced with a Umpty. 
Yo ladies, oh how I like to hump thee. 
And all the rappers in the top ten--please allow me to bump thee. 
I'm steppin' tall, y'all, 
and just like Humpty Dumpty 
you're gonna fall when the stereos pump me. 
I like to rhyme, 
I like my beats funky, 
I'm spunky. I like my oatmeal lumpy. 
I'm sick wit dis, straight gangsta mack 
but sometimes I get ridiculous 
I'll eat up all your crackers and your licorice 
hey yo fat girl, c'mere--are ya ticklish? 
Yeah, I called ya fat. 
Look at me, I'm skinny 
It never stopped me from gettin' busy 
I'm a freak 
I like the girls with the boom 
I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom 
I'm crazy. 
Allow me to amaze thee. 
They say I'm ugly but it just don't faze me. 
I'm still gettin' in the girls' pants 
and I even got my own dance 
{Chorus:} 
The Humpty Dance is your chance to do the hump 
Do the Humpty Hump, come on and do the Humpty Hump 
Do the Humpty Hump, just watch me do the Humpty Hump 
Do ya know what I'm doin', doin' the Humpty Hump 
Do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump 
Verse Two: 
People say "Yo, Humpty, you're really funny lookin'" 
that's all right 'cause I get things cookin' 
Ya stare, ya glare, ya constantly try to compare me 
but ya can't get near me 
I give 'em more, see, and on the floor, B, 
all the girls they adore me 
Oh yes, ladies, I'm really bein' sincere 
'cause in a 69 my humpty nose will tickle ya rear. 
My nose is big, uh-uh I'm not ashamed 
Big like a pickle, I'm still gettin' paid 
I get laid by the ladies, ya know I'm in charge, 
both how I'm livin' and my nose is large 
I get stoopid, I shoot an arrow like Cupid, 
I use a word that don't mean nothin', like looptid 
I sang on Doowhutchalike, and if ya missed it, 
I'm the one who said just grab 'em in the biscuits 
Also told ya that I like to bite 
Well, yeah, I guess it's obvious, I also like to write. 
All ya had to do was give Humpty a chance 
and now I'm gonna do my dance. 
{Chorus} 
Breakdown: 
Oh, yeah, that's the break, y'all 
Let me hear a little bit of that bass groove right here 
Oh, yeah! 
Now that I told ya a little bit about myself 
let me tell ya a little bit about this dance 
It's real easy to do--check it out 
Verse Three: 
First I limp to the side like my leg was broken 
Shakin' and twitchin' kinda like I was smokin' 
Crazy wack funky 
People say ya look like M.C. Hammer on crack, Humpty 
That's all right 'cause my body's in motion 
It's supposed to look like a fit or a convulsion 
Anyone can play this game 
This is my dance, y'all, Humpty Hump's my name 
No two people will do it the same 
Ya got it down when ya appear to be in pain 
Humpin', funkin', jumpin', 
jig around, shakin' ya rump, 
and when the dude a chump pump points a finger like a stump 
tell him step off, I'm doin' the Hump. 
{Chorus} 
Black people, do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump 
White people, do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump 
Puerto Ricans, do the Humpty Hump, just keep on doin' the hump 
Samoans, do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump 
Let's get stoopid! 
{Chorus} 
Oh, yeah, come on and break it down 
Outro: 
Once again, the Underground is in the house 
I'd like to send a shout out to the whole world, 
keep on doin' the Humpty Dance, 
and to the ladies, 
peace and humptiness forever 
{Music and fade}


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