# Hurricane Shazza Appeal



## CapTT (Mar 2, 2003)

A major Hurricane (Shazza) and earthquake measuring 7.1 on the richter scale ravaged Newcastle-upon-Tyne in the early hours of Monday morning with its epicentre in Byker . Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly muttering 
"Fukinell" ...

The hurricane decimated the area causing approximately Â£30 worth of improvements.

Several priceless collections of mementos from the Balearics and Spanish 
Costas were damaged beyond repair. Three areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed. Many locals were woken well before their giro arrived.

Metro FM reported that hundreds of residents were 
confused and bewildered, still trying to come to terms with the fact that 
something interesting had happened in Byker.

One resident - Tracy Sharon Smith, a 15-year-old mother of 5 said "It was 
such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Mercedes came running into my bedroom crying. My youngest two Tyler-Morgan and Megan-Storm slept through it all. I was still shaking when I was watching Trisha the next morning."

Apparently though, looting, muggings and car crime did carry on as normal.

The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of Sunny Delight to the area to help the stricken locals.

Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings, including benefit books, jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at Argos and Bone China from Poundland.

HOW CAN YOU HELP?

This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those 
unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster. Clothing is the most sought after, items most needed include:

-- Fila or Burberry baseball caps 
-- Kappa tracksuit tops (his and hers) 
-- Shell suits (female) 
-- White sport socks 
-- Rockport boots 
-- Any other items usually sold in Primark.

Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same. Required foodstuffs include: 
-- Microwave meals 
-- Tins of baked beans 
-- Ice cream 
-- Cans of Colt 45 or Special Brew.

22p buys a biro for filling in the compensation forms 
Â£2 buys chips, crisps and blue fizzy drinks for a family of 9 Â£5 will pay 
for a packet of B&H and a lighter to calm the nerves of those affected.

**Breaking news**

Rescue workers found a girl in the rubble smothered in claret - 'Where are 
you bleeding from?' they asked - "Shields" said the girl, "wats that got to dde wiv it?"


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## Philr (Oct 10, 2006)

Maybe a loan from 'Picture' would help!


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## Hilly10 (Feb 4, 2004)

How about some pies :roll:


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## YELLOW_TT (Feb 25, 2004)

Hilly10 said:


> How about some pies :roll:


Pies will always help


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## TTCool (Feb 7, 2005)

:lol: :lol: Brilliant piece of comedy, I laughed my head off. I'm against political correctness, after all life's a hoot.

Thanks for the template. Could you do one for 'darn sarf' ? It would just need the place names and idioms changing.

Cheers

Joe


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## ObiWan (Sep 25, 2005)

Still no comment from Wallsendmag yet........... Andy must have been caught in the hurrican :wink:


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