# Farcebook



## ScoobyTT (Aug 24, 2009)

I was feeling a bit thick yesterday after being knocked back by some cantankerous TT hardware, but then I rediscovered that there are people out there who must have difficulty remembering to breathe. Yes! It's the Fadbook users who mistook a news article for... erm.... Farcebook's login page!

You'd hardly think it were possible, but it's been done.

Apparently these clueless oafs don't have bookmarks or address bars in their browsers and instead go to Google every time and actually type in "facebook login". When this page appeared top of the results, disaster and distress ensued for these poor unfortunates:
http://www.readwriteweb.com/archives/fa ... _login.php

What followed was a simple 6 step process along the road to interminable stupidity:
1. Ignore the fact that the address isn't FACEBOOK.
2. Ignore the big text that makes the page sound like a news article.
3. Click on the link just because it does at least use the word Facebook in the sentence.
4. Fail to notice the big red 2" high banner (on a 12" screen) banner saying ReadWriteWeb instead of, maybe, FACEBOOK -- in BLUE.
5. Continue failing to notice the lack of a Facebook login, for long enough to:
6. Scroll all the way down and find the comment box at the end of the article, and enter such hapless comments as:

"ok cool now can I get to facebook" posted by "fuccinwayne". 
Nice one, fuccinretard! :roll:

"I truly love Faceback.I am able to talk to more then one person."  
Faceback? BOOK. BOOK. Face... BOOK. Clue:  [smiley=book2.gif] 
Facepalm, twat! How were you even finding "faceback login" with google anyway? "uh, faceback's gone!" :lol: :lol:

"The new facebook sucks> NOW LET ME IN." 
Now use your eyes cockweasel!

The prize must perhaps go to Frederic Lardinois, who not only noticed the RED colour scheme, but FAILED to notice that it's a different web site, without "facebook.com" in the address bar. What is even funnier is that his comment includes his photo, allowing hitmen to identify him and cleanse the gene pool.
"I just want to log in to Facebook - what with the red color and all?" 
Do wake up, Fred.

"I was just learning,why would you mess it up?"  
They didn't. You did. THINK, McFly!! Yes it's another tricky day in remedial class.

"What is going on? You are totally confusing me. Knock-knock. Anybody there? Let me in. " 
Poor Katherine.... "knock knock, anybody there" is probably what most people think when in her company every day.

And cue Deborah Moody likening the whole experience to the prior plight of Terry Waite:
"Nothing like being taken hostage on our own computer :-("  
Hosta...sorry, what? You're on the WRONG PAGE you FUCKING ASSHAT!! The only thing you're hostage to is your own fucking stupidity!

It goes on.. Seriously, if you want to laugh, and yet feel utter despair at the same time, head on over and have a read. Post your favourites! 

I mean, seriously. how do these people manage to dress themselves of a morning?   








Smithers, I want these people killed.
:lol: :lol: :lol:


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## TT Ade (Aug 20, 2007)

Links a 404.


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## ScoobyTT (Aug 24, 2009)

Corrected..

I love this one: 
"Just post your Facebook username and password here and one of our support technicians will be in touch."

Oh the fun you could have with that  Comment 958: some guy actually gives his email address, login and password.

The confusion isn't shortlived for some either: "I CANNOT LOG THE FACEBOOKS FOR TWO DAY NOW WAT IF I HAVE THE NEW FRIEND? PLEEEZEE HELP"

Two DAYS trying to figure it out!! :lol: :lol: :lol: hahaha! no, this hurts now! :lol: :lol:


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## sniper-sam (Jan 23, 2007)

:lol: brilliant scooby.


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## TT Ade (Aug 20, 2007)

"Farmville users"

:lol:


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## ScoobyTT (Aug 24, 2009)

I think you mean Farmvile Lusers :lol: :lol:

Check out this poor soul:
This is just plain ridiculous . There are people trying to get on to face book and other people seem to be trying to make a mockery of them. There are more replies since I last tried and I suppose I have to go along with reply 458 which seems to offer some hope. I have my visa card here and I don't want every Tom Dick and Harry to be looking at it so I will give it in stages My first name is John and I have found the 3 digit number on the back which is 749 The first 4 numbers on the front are7156 and the last 4 are 3899. I am not giving you my surname at this stage nor the middle 8 numbers in case they would fall into the wrong hands. The exp date on the front is may 2010 but it does not state which day in May so I only hope that will not be a problem. Also I keep my credit limit low so that it can not be mis used at a really odd number namely 1101 euro. Perhaps someone on facebook would contact me privately as to be honest I am nervous and would prefer to give the surname and missing numbers in some other way. Finally any useful help would be appreciated, not rude comments John

Poor nervous bastard with card 7156 xxxx xxxx 3899, CVC 749 expiry May 2010.

Scary, isn't it? :lol: :lol: :lol:

Then I read this and am just crying with laughter:

@ RAJIIT AND ALL THOSE THAT CAN'T LOG
Are you using MAC? I am using MAC and it doesnt work for me neither, but I have a friend who is using a DELL system and he told me on the phone just now that he just logged to facebook and it works the old way, blue not red, and he can still talk to people

I think this is MAC problem, the MAC company needs to fix this soon!

shame on MAC for creating this I should have gotten DELL or APPLE instead

At this point, I appear to have barfed a lung laughing.


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## sniper-sam (Jan 23, 2007)

I am finding this really hard to believe.
How can so many people be so fucking stupid!


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## ScoobyTT (Aug 24, 2009)

How can they be THIS stupid:
Hello facebook The other 8 digits of my visa card are 3932 4786 I did not give you my surname as printed on my visa card but if you look at my e mail address it is the six letters after john and ends at the symbol for "at" CAN YOU PLEASE LET ME LOG IN NOW...............jOHN

Cue criminals shopping with that card in 3... 2... [smiley=smash.gif] :lol: :lol:

Computer - $400. 
Internet security software - $30. 
Posting your credit card number into a blog comments page because you think someone from facebook is listening and might help you log in - utterly, _utterly _fucking priceless.

Some things you can't buy. For everything else there's John's Visa card. :roll: :lol:

It's ok though. Rajit has an idea to save them from MAC hell:
Okay geniouses, you make fun all you want.

Arti, I tried loggin with a DELL instead of MAC computer like you said and it still won't log in.

Rest of you make fun but try to log in right now, it wont work!!! THis page is really not good and my photos from american grand canyon are not here =(((

We have to send bill gates emails all of us, it will tell him this is serious and he must fix his pages.

Good luck with that Rajit. Perhaps you can set up a Facebook group...... once you can log in that is. BWUHUHWUHUHAHAHAHA!! :lol: :lol:


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## TT Ade (Aug 20, 2007)

Fucking amazing... Sorry, just no other way to describe it.

(Hope they don't that with this forum!) :lol:


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## T3RBO (Dec 9, 2003)

I am seriously lost for words :lol:


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## NaughTTy (Jul 9, 2003)

Crying with laughter!! [smiley=bigcry.gif] :lol:

You really couldn't make it up could you?! Fucktards the lot of 'em :roll:


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## Dash (Oct 5, 2008)

It's things like this that make me feel less guilty about my ill-feeling towards society as a whole.

I'm all for a legal requirement to have passed an Internet test before you are allowed to be connected. People are so stupid.


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## phodge (Sep 1, 2002)

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## Charlie (Dec 15, 2006)

WTF how stupid can some people be? I really do wonder where these fuckwits come from.

Charlie


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## ScoobyTT (Aug 24, 2009)

Hey phodge, I've got the icing on the cake here.

Among the obvious retards were the countless people mocking them, some even offering helpful advice like "type www.facebook.com in the address bar". You'd THINK amid all the mockery and helpful hints that they might, JUST MIGHT think something was wrong, but no.

"WHAT IS SO FUCKING FUNNY?!?!?
SOME! FIX MY DAMN LOGING OR CHANGE IT BACK!!!!"

Score.

Remember John? He found hope in post 458:
"You guys are all stupid. You login to Facebook now by the following simple steps:

Go to the bottom of this page
Type Your Name
your credit card number
three digit number on back of card
expiration month and year

Post that here and your Face Book account will be automatically linked to all your accounts; twitter, flicker, fuse, yahoo, picassa, gmail, youtube, youporn, redtube, etc. and your card WILL NOT BE CHARGED and you GET A FREE IPHONE!

It's real. I have mine from doing this."

Well at least we know why John gladly gave 7 billion people his credit card number, CVC and expiry date, and it's not just because he's a moron. He's a bright guy:
"i am no moron. I am an intellectual and have my masters Don't be stupid If you change he system please have the integrity to explain the "modus operandi" Don' treat us as stupid just because you can not explain the system. I need to log in to-night. Kindly sort this out and thank you in anticipation"


But within an hour, the poor bloke's having a religious meltdown in the face of all the heathens calling him a moron and a retard:
OH GOD almighty,thoe one and only God,forgive me as I kneel here writing this sinful apology toYou. Forgive me for lookin and reading all the disgustin porn and watching such filty things on u tube For reading articles about consenting adults doing things which You have strictly forbidden in the Gospels and your HOLY WORD FOrgive me and let me log in in the name of the HOLY GHOST, JESUS, THE SAINTS AND ALL THE APOSTLES and Please St Jude the Saint for hopeless cases, help me. Help me to communicate through the Holy Spirit if I can not log in I know I NEED TO BE PUNISHED but I ask for your forgivenness and promise I will try even harder to convert the 2 girls next door whose faith has been lost to You, Almighty God I beg you to give me another chance to convert these 2 lost sheep, In return please let me log in. I can cope with, your help, to ignore all the abuse I am getting from others on face book AMEN, AMEN and again I say Amen Daniel 

Which bit of "THIS IS NOT FACEBOOK" doesn't he understand? :lol:

But the reasons for his desperation become clear:
To-morrow is st Valentines day and I need to send love urgently. I have just come back to Dublin from Rome and I see others have not been able to log in either I think there are a lot of very ignorent people who are making a mockery out of other peoplss lives We dont need a suicide to fix this Please let me send my love please please

Who's going to commit suicide? 
Go on John, do it, do it! Log in, or kill yourself. Or log in and THEN kill yourself. It's up to you. :roll:

A few hours later it's all over for John, and his Christian compassion towards his fellow man has all but run out, with some most ungodly language:
I CANT LOG IN,,,, HAS MY COMPUTER A VIRUS AND WHO SENT IT. I DESPISE THE FUCKEN BITCH OR BASTARD WHO DONE IT. I CURSE THEM AND HOPE THEY ROT IN HELL AFTER HAVING BEEN WELL AND PROPERLY BURNED AND THAT THEIR GENITALS ARE WELL AND TRULY DESTROYED AND THEIR CHILDRENS GENITALS AND AND AND GRANDCHILDREN,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,FUCK THE HUMAN RACE AND WOULD ALL THE FUCKERS LEAVE ME ALONE I CAN TALK TO MY NEXTDOOR NEIGHBOURS AND DONT NEED ANY FUCKING FACE BOOK TO TALK TO FUCKIN WEIRDOS FACEBOOK. TAKE ME OFF YOU BLOODY SITE WE DONT NEED YOU SHITS BLOCKING OUR FUCKIN SEWERS AS WELL ...................HONEST JOHN

Funny, destruction of genitals is one of the very first things I think of when I think of John and his fellow confused individuals. These people can vote, drive, and the ones in the US have the right to carry guns. GUNS! Should they really be allowed to breed? :lol: :lol:

John finishes with a special message for Mark Zuckerburg:

LET THE ALMIGHTY DEVIL GET HIS LOGS IN AND BURN THE WHOLE FUCKIN LOT OF YE fUCK THE FACE; FUCK THE BOOKS; FUCK THE LOGS AND FUCK THE INNS WE CAN EVEN TELL REAL PEOPLE TO FUCK OFF IF WE DONT LIKE THEM PEOPLE ON FACEBUK ARE NOT REAL PEOPLE THEIR JUST PLAIN MAD AND SHOULD BE SENT TO THE MENTAL ASYLUM. IM GLAD PRISONERS DONT HAVE COMPUTERS OR THEY WOULD THINK THIS FUNNY THE HUMAN RACE NEEDS TO BE PROPERLY FUCKED AND BURNED IN A FUNERAL PYRE........... IM ANNOYED........................HONEST JOHN

America. Fuck yeah!! :lol:

So facefuckbook Lusers are mental and should be sent to an asylum? I'll make the call. How does half two grab you, John?
[smiley=bigcry.gif] :lol: [smiley=bigcry.gif] :lol:

I wonder if he blew himself away after spending the night on the veranda in his underpants shooting "red" squirrels as communist sympathizers hoping to find the fucker who gave his computer the virus. His facebook friends may have nothing left to do but "poke" his lifeless corpse, ok, account, for signs of life.


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## phodge (Sep 1, 2002)

*Stop, stop! No, please stop! It hurts!!*

:lol: [smiley=bigcry.gif] :lol: [smiley=bigcry.gif] :lol: [smiley=bigcry.gif] :lol: [smiley=bigcry.gif] :lol: [smiley=bigcry.gif] :lol: [smiley=bigcry.gif] :lol: [smiley=bigcry.gif] :lol: [smiley=bigcry.gif] :lol: [smiley=bigcry.gif] :lol: [smiley=bigcry.gif] :lol: [smiley=bigcry.gif] :lol: [smiley=bigcry.gif] :lol: [smiley=bigcry.gif] :lol: [smiley=bigcry.gif] :lol: [smiley=bigcry.gif] :lol: [smiley=bigcry.gif] :lol: [smiley=bigcry.gif] :lol: [smiley=bigcry.gif] :lol: [smiley=bigcry.gif] :lol: [smiley=bigcry.gif] :lol: [smiley=bigcry.gif] :lol: [smiley=bigcry.gif] :lol: [smiley=bigcry.gif] :lol: [smiley=bigcry.gif] :lol: [smiley=bigcry.gif] :lol: [smiley=bigcry.gif] :lol:


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## John-H (Jul 13, 2005)

I don't use facetube and now I'm not going to try because it's obviously too dangerous :lol:


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## skiwhiz (Feb 17, 2008)

when I need to laugh I keep reading this 
its priceless :lol:


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## TurboTTS (Sep 11, 2009)

ok, but i dont understand why they cant login?

im in IT and i once told someone to look for a folder called X on their desktops, and they moved the paper work out of the way and looked down on his table... (this is a serious story).... i had to stop myself from laughing and then hitting him so hard he cried! :lol:

i see stupid people.....


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## Dash (Oct 5, 2008)

TurboTTS said:


> im in IT and i once told someone to


This is your problem. Don't deal with end-users, it makes life so much pleasant.


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## A3DFU (May 7, 2002)

Anyone surprised that there are similar people round here?

My next door neighbour gave me her password for her Amazon.uk account in writing (so she can ask me if she forgets) and, even better, a girl in Germany who has problems odering items from the TTOC shop has sent me all her credit card details via e-mail!!!!!!!!!!!!
If I was a crook I could be very rich :roll:


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## Snake TT (Jul 13, 2007)

This is the funniest post I have read in a long time. People in the office must be wondering why I am nearly crying at my desk! I cant even tell my colleagues about im in such a state! :lol: :lol: :lol:


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## TurboTTS (Sep 11, 2009)

soluTTion!!! = brilliant!


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## ScoobyTT (Aug 24, 2009)

That's quality TurboTTS. Sounds like John should have given them a call :lol:



Snake TT said:


> This is the funniest post I have read in a long time. People in the office must be wondering why I am nearly crying at my desk! I cant even tell my colleagues about im in such a state! :lol: :lol: :lol:


 :lol: :lol:


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## Gone (May 5, 2009)

Well. Fuck. Me. Dead.

I thought I had seen it all.

"Only 10% of Americans have a passport. The thing is, people say that like it's a bad thing."

Thank you, Jimmy Carr. A man never said a truer word.


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## T3RBO (Dec 9, 2003)

TurboTTS said:


> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KpH1Zn3hPuI
> 
> soluTTion!!! = brilliant!


 :lol: :lol: :lol:


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