# wierd friendship/relationship problem



## zedman (Jan 31, 2005)

So, been going out with a young lady on and off for approx 5 years now. Itâ€™s always been me who hasnâ€™t wanted to really commit as she can be a bit of a psycho. So for the last 5 years (!) she rings me before she goes to bed, see each other 4/5 times a week etc. In the last couple of months sheâ€™s been talking to me less etc. Last month she after telling me she was with one of her female friends I bumped into her with a friend of mine, it seems sheâ€™d been lying to me when she said sheâ€™d been busy and sheâ€™d actually been with him. Now he had already told me he intended to ask her out and I said I didnâ€™t have a problem with it as it wasnâ€™t my place to interfere. But I did point out that if anything happened between them I wasnâ€™t going to be hanging round to watch.

So now after a few text messages and attempts to call me I donâ€™t speak to either of them. A week after this she convinced me to go for a drink with her to sort things out, she kept saying I didnâ€™t want her and now I shouldnâ€™t be upset that she was with him. I pointed out that I thought this was a low thing to do and the fact that she could lie to me so easily and think itâ€™s ok meant that she thought nothing of our friendship and I didnâ€™t want to see her again.

Fast forward 5 days. She again convinces me to go for a drink with her and in the conversation saysâ€¦..

Her â€˜so surely you want to marry someone one day?â€™

Me â€˜yeah probablyâ€¦.â€™

Her â€˜well, you could marry me if you want?â€™

I mean what the fuck? Youâ€™re going out with an (ex)friend of ours, youâ€™ve lied through your teeth so much in the last month that I genuinely wonder whether youâ€™re capable of telling the truth, youâ€™ve told ALL of our mutual friends that Iâ€™m jealous of you new relationship and thatâ€™s why iâ€™ve fallen out with you, I made it very clear that if this happened then I wouldnâ€™t be hanging round and now youâ€™re asking me to marry you?

What the hell is going on?

Is this normal? Does anybody know?

p.s. the guy sheâ€™s with now (my ex friend) told me about 3 months back about a girl he was in love with, someone he wished would â€˜let him make them happyâ€™, but they kept rejecting him. That girl was my exâ€™s sister. Does that make him pathetic? Maybe I should ask my ex if she uses her sisters old clothes too?

I dont begrudge her moving on, but to do it like this just seems wrong...

Man I wish I wouldnâ€™t let things get to me.

Bo

AZ


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## Widget (May 7, 2002)

Snakes with tits.


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## saint (Dec 6, 2002)

It's 50 / 50 as to whom the complete idiot is.


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## westty (Jan 3, 2004)

Psycho lol. Knob ruling your head?

Most of us have been there mate  5 years though she must have been good :lol:


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## TeeTees (Mar 9, 2006)

Two words : wide berth

She ain't worth your energy and time any more mate - move on, and bury the past :wink:


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## Lisa. (May 7, 2002)

My sister has dated at least 3 of my ex's, and we have even both been married to the same man (not at the same time) We even attended his funeral together as wives (another story).

All sounds quite average to me.
:lol:


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## phodge (Sep 1, 2002)

Lisa. said:


> My sister has dated at least 3 of my ex's, and we have even both been married to the same man (not at the same time) We even attended his funeral together as wives (another story).
> 
> All sounds quite average to me.
> :lol:


OMG! I must have led a sheltered life!


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## Lisa. (May 7, 2002)

phodge said:


> Lisa. said:
> 
> 
> > My sister has dated at least 3 of my ex's, and we have even both been married to the same man (not at the same time) We even attended his funeral together as wives (another story).
> ...


That's the abridged version, you'd love the full story. We should really get ourselves booked onto the Jeremy Kyle show :lol: I wouldn't describe either of us as "pyscho" though, and I think I'm quite normal and happy despite everything.

:lol:


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## phodge (Sep 1, 2002)

Lisa. said:


> phodge said:
> 
> 
> > Lisa. said:
> ...


You've always seemed quite normal and together when I've met you.

But, then again, is that a good thing..?? :?


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## Lisa. (May 7, 2002)

Of course!

What are you saying? Do you think I'm a nutter? chuckle

Nope, I've had a momentous journey to get to where I am now, and I really am I'm very happy and content, I couldn't wish for anymore than I have now.

Life's rich tapestry and all that, it's all been worth it.


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## phodge (Sep 1, 2002)

Sorry! I wasn't trying to say that it wasn't a good thing for you....

...just that I've never been 'normal and together', but I don't consider that to be a bad thing!!

As you said...life's rich tapestry!


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## A3DFU (May 7, 2002)

saint said:


> It's 50 / 50 as to whom the complete idiot is.


I second this


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## John C (Jul 5, 2002)

...so did she actually tell you you were a crap shag or was all the subterfuge just a pretence?


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## Wallsendmag (Feb 12, 2004)

Sorry i dont get this why would she want to marry a physco ?


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## Private Prozac (Jul 7, 2003)

A3DFU said:


> saint said:
> 
> 
> > It's 50 / 50 as to whom the complete idiot is.
> ...


Thirded.

On/off for 5 years. Nutjob. Lies to you. Goes and shags your mate ....and still you go for a drink with her (twice!). WTF? :?

Tell her to fuck off. Tell him to fuck off. Go find yourself another hole!


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## zedman (Jan 31, 2005)

TT2BMW said:


> A3DFU said:
> 
> 
> > saint said:
> ...


good advice...! i tell you what it was the whole 'well you could marry me if you want...' on the second drink that threw me - and the fact that she's going with her sisters cast off! (not that anybodys told her!)

A new hole beckons.... somewhere!!

cheers

AZ

p.s. what did you replace the golf with?


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## Private Prozac (Jul 7, 2003)

:lol:

Another Golf GTi.

I figured that if the first one saved my life then the same theory should apply the next time round!


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## Lock_Stock (May 22, 2007)

Power trip... she wants you to ask to marry her to show you still have feelings, she doesn't need to reciprocate but still gets the feel good factor of knowing you want her.... Don't give her the satisfaction!!! Defo time to move on. I stayed friends with an ex... was a nightmare for a while, but in the end I had to just distance myself. After a year or so we ended back in contact and now we are really good friends... just luck of the draw.. this girl sounds like a loon tho.... tell her she is banging her sis's ex. She deserves to know.. (or you deserve to tell her :wink: )


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## ResB (Apr 17, 2005)

Yeah, tell her to do one. 

I'm guessing here but sounds like your just using her anyway, I mean you've been on and off for 5 years.... Time to move on I think.


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## Kell (May 28, 2002)

Having been in a similar situation (ish) many moons ago, I can only say that the reason that you're both semi-dependent on each other is probably a deep rooted fear of being left on your own with nobody.

A fall back if you will.

If you genuinely think she's a pyscho, then move on. If you think there's a genuine reason for you being hurt (aside from precious male pride) then attempt to work out a solution.

Her name's not Carol is it?


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## zedman (Jan 31, 2005)

Kell said:


> Having been in a similar situation (ish) many moons ago, I can only say that the reason that you're both semi-dependent on each other is probably a deep rooted fear of being left on your own with nobody.
> 
> A fall back if you will.
> 
> ...


no mate no Carols here....


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## Private Prozac (Jul 7, 2003)

Not until Christmas anyway!! [smiley=jester.gif]


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## JNmercury00 (May 22, 2007)

if you need to ask advice on this subject then this isn't the only problem in your life..............do you need help getting yourself dressed in the mornings? lol 

seriously though, all jokes aside, you should move on. I couldn't imagine seeing someone casually for that amount of time without it getting serious. takes all sorts i guess............


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## kmpowell (May 6, 2002)

Punch her in the kidney and tell her to fuck off.


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## ResB (Apr 17, 2005)

kmpowell said:


> Punch her in the kidney and tell her to fuck off.


ROFL...


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## garyc (May 7, 2002)

"You gotta walk and don't look back."

I think we all once knew someone like that. Wise up. Move on.


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## Wallsendmag (Feb 12, 2004)

kmpowell said:


> Punch her in the kidney and tell her to fuck off.


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## garvin (May 7, 2002)

Sounds to me as if she's actually desperate for more commitment from you and is trying the, admitedly inappropriate, jealousy angle. Not so much a psycho, more just a sad case perhaps?


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## Hilly10 (Feb 4, 2004)

If she is good in the sack just use her till you get fed up :roll:


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## TT-Minxx (Sep 9, 2006)

Now that sounds just like typical man, Hilly............ :twisted:


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## zedman (Jan 31, 2005)

garvin said:


> Sounds to me as if she's actually desperate for more commitment from you and is trying the, admitedly inappropriate, jealousy angle. Not so much a psycho, more just a sad case perhaps?


u've definitely got a point there......


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## Hark (Aug 23, 2007)

As all the above have stated, move on and tell her to do one. Nut case


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## Hilly10 (Feb 4, 2004)

TT-Minxx said:


> Now that sounds just like typical man, Hilly............ :twisted:


I know :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: great init


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## Major Audi Parts Guru (May 7, 2002)

I personally wouldn't waste any more energy on her if I was in your position., especially after she's treated you in that way.

Having said that, just set yourself up with a Facebook account and start to have some fun on there with the numerous dating applications :wink: much more fun that the dating sites


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## southTT (Feb 5, 2008)

Run,run for your life!
cheers
jon


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## TTwiggy (Jul 20, 2004)

So, essentially you've strung her along for 5 years, using her for sex and campanionship when it suited you and now you're pissed that she's decided you're a lost cause for any sort of future and moved on?...


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## qooqiiu (Oct 12, 2007)

TTwiggy said:


> So, essentially you've strung her along for 5 years, using her for sex and campanionship when it suited you and now you're pissed that she's decided you're a lost cause for any sort of future and moved on?...


That's how i read it too!


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## Molehall (Jan 8, 2003)

saint said:


> It's 50 / 50 as to whom the complete idiot is.


Actually it's six of one and half a dozen of the other. :lol: :lol:


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## Major Audi Parts Guru (May 7, 2002)

TTwiggy said:


> So, essentially you've strung her along for 5 years, using her for sex and campanionship when it suited you and now you're pissed that she's decided you're a lost cause for any sort of future and moved on?...


Perhaps she's strung him along too :?


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## zedman (Jan 31, 2005)

TTwiggy said:


> So, essentially you've strung her along for 5 years, using her for sex and campanionship when it suited you and now you're pissed that she's decided you're a lost cause for any sort of future and moved on?...


well it could be percieved that way to be fair, although the stringing along thing has mainly been her, hates it when i look at another woman, goes round telling people we're together when we're not, always wants to know what i'm doing in an evening and gets upset until she's satisfied i'm not with a girl etc etc. As for using her for sex i've had her offering it to me on a plate and i've always said no (apart from the 2 periods when we were going out), as i've never though it right to play with her mind. So i don't think ive strung her along much at all. There's been a few women who I havn't been out with because of her (although my fault for always feeling bad for her instead...)


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## saint (Dec 6, 2002)

I bet he "humped" her at the weekend.

I'll change my original 50/50 to 75/25.


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## zedman (Jan 31, 2005)

saint said:


> I bet he "humped" her at the weekend.
> 
> I'll change my original 50/50 to 75/25.


he's prob been humping her for ages! anyway who gets the benefit of the 25%?


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## garyc (May 7, 2002)

zedman said:


> saint said:
> 
> 
> > I bet he "humped" her at the weekend.
> ...


Gordon Brown no doubt. :wink:


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## mighTy Tee (Jul 10, 2002)

garyc said:


> zedman said:
> 
> 
> > saint said:
> ...


 :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


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## saint (Dec 6, 2002)

zedman said:


> saint said:
> 
> 
> > I bet he "humped" her at the weekend.
> ...


Umm... I was actually meaning you... and the 75%.... gratz.


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## KammyTT (Jun 28, 2006)

mate none of this is normal to be honest.... you both should never have gone on like this for 5 years.

if you were both in a full on relationship then you couls have something to argue about.

she probably lied because she didnt know how to tell you as it was one of your freinds.

there is an obvious attraction between the both of you but not hence the 5 years

you need to phone her and say you are moving on and want to be freinds, find someone you actually are happy with and have a great time

or go on holiday with some freinds and start enjoying yourself as life is far too short to be doing the jeremy kyle shit

ok said my bit so :roll:


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## CamV6 (Oct 26, 2003)

kmpowell said:


> Punch her in the kidney and tell her to fuck off.


Kev, timing is the key to all good comedy, and you have it down to a fine art! :lol: :lol: :lol:

As for the original issue, weel, sounds like you had a lucky escape. There are a lot of true coments on this thread, but in truth, if she was the one for you, if she really made you happy and contented deep down, you'd have snapped her up long ago.

Buy her a big dildo, tell her to go fuck herself!


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## PIPTT (May 6, 2002)

the only advice i can give apart from telling her to fuck off , is change your ID, move to a safe house, lock all your doors and windows at night, check your brake pipes daily and keep your rabbit safe before she boils it in a big pot :twisted:


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## Matt B (Apr 8, 2007)

Just stumbled on this thread and only got one comment.

Where the fuck are your real mates, you know people you don't need a keyboard to talk to. They should be far more familiar with wots going on, and should be the ones dragging you down the boozer or out to a club to get this shit out of your head. You really shouldn't be asking the guys on here. Their judgement has been seriously compromised from years of inhaling Johnsons baby bath fumes.


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## KammyTT (Jun 28, 2006)

hey i think my comment was not bad :lol:


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## zedman (Jan 31, 2005)

Matt B said:


> Just stumbled on this thread and only got one comment.
> 
> Where the fuck are your real mates, you know people you don't need a keyboard to talk to. They should be far more familiar with wots going on, and should be the ones dragging you down the boozer or out to a club to get this shit out of your head. You really shouldn't be asking the guys on here. Their judgement has been seriously compromised from years of inhaling Johnsons baby bath fumes.


i see your point, but, it's nice to get a few opinions off people who are impartial - all of my mates/family (and a few of her mates too) say she's just a desperate spoilt bitch who does what she wants and doesn't think about the consequences and to be fair they all do well and keep me entertained so i cant complain on the friends front..

and thanks for all the replies, this crap has been taking up too much of my life and reading people's opinions and perspectives has been cool...


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## Beltway (Jan 5, 2008)

phew!

Here's my $0.02.....get the f**k out of Dodge man..... do you seriously think it gets any better than this?

A word to the wise, once a woman (man if you are female) pulls any shit like this, it's time to move on.


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## Matt B (Apr 8, 2007)

zedman said:


> Matt B said:
> 
> 
> > Just stumbled on this thread and only got one comment.
> ...


It looks like everyone is telling you the same thing.


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