# How Do I Wipe My Arse



## pas_55 (May 9, 2002)

:wink: Well I do know how to.It's just some of the things people post on off topic,ie how high do I mount my 42" plasma screen? How do I get to Cannes.Fuck me guys how the hell do you get through the day if you have to ask questions like these let alone afford a TT. :wink:

*kmpowell - edited text slightly, so it's not personal *


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## kmpowell (May 6, 2002)

pas_55 said:


> :wink: Well I do know how to.It's just some of the things people post on off topic,ie how high do I mount my 42" plasma screen? How do I get to Cannes.Fuck me guys how the hell do you get through the day if you have to ask questions like these let alone afford a TT.:wink:


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## Lisa. (May 7, 2002)

Yet would they stop and ask for directions if lost? :roll:


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## Dont I Recognise You (Oct 10, 2003)

barely_legal said:


> Yet would they stop and ask for directions if lost? :roll:


Sorry? Are you allowed to do that? 

:lol: Nice one Lisa


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## mike_bailey (May 7, 2002)

barely_legal said:


> Yet would they stop and ask for directions if lost? :roll:


I'm never lost, I just like the scenic routes so it's seems pointless bothering some poor pedestrian


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## vlastan (May 6, 2002)

pas_55 said:


> :wink: Well I do know how to.It's just some of the things people post on off topic,ie how high do I mount my 42" plasma screen? How do I get to Cannes.Fuck me guys how the hell do you get through the day if you have to ask questions like these let alone afford a TT. :wink:
> 
> *kmpowell - edited text slightly, so it's not personal *


So you think you know how do wipe your arse then? Fine. The next thing will be "how well do you do this?" :wink:


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## PaulS (Jun 15, 2002)

vlastan said:


> pas_55 said:
> 
> 
> > :wink: Well I do know how to.It's just some of the things people post on off topic,ie how high do I mount my 42" plasma screen? How do I get to Cannes.Fuck me guys how the hell do you get through the day if you have to ask questions like these let alone afford a TT. :wink:
> ...


Well what a surprise :roll: 

Welcome back Lord V [smiley=toff.gif] we know you're such an expert on the topic - a thesis for one of you lectures? :lol: :wink:


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## vlastan (May 6, 2002)

PaulS said:


> vlastan said:
> 
> 
> > pas_55 said:
> ...


My comment reflects back to the dilemmas these people had in their questions. They know they have to hang their Plasma TV, but don't know what would be the best way/position of doing so. The same applies to wiping your arse. :wink:


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## PaulS (Jun 15, 2002)

Well, as well as your cleaner (recently sacked) do you 'get someone in' to do it for you :wink: :wink: :roll:


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## L8_0RGY (Sep 12, 2003)

Couldn't agree with you more but haven't wanted to post it as i thought I would get flamed.

How many miles can i do when the petrol warning light comes on?

What do you think you fucking muppet? Look at the fucking DIS where it will most probably say between 20-25 miles if the light has only just come on.

:x


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## jdn (Aug 26, 2002)

The worst question has to be:

'What colour car should I choose?'

Or, along similar lines:

'Will this mod / these alloys / this golf club handle look good?'

Seems some people care more about what others think than what they think.

Just make a decision based on what you prefer!


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## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

*tut* blooming men! :roll:


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## L8_0RGY (Sep 12, 2003)

Exactly jcn.

Whilst i/we appreciated our values being valued, how are we supposed to know what people like.

If someone told me to get red leather, i'd tell 'em where to go as i can't stand it yet, some users might be tempted by it as you say as some prolific users have it in their cars.


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## vlastan (May 6, 2002)

PaulS said:


> Well, as well as your cleaner (recently sacked) do you 'get someone in' to do it for you :wink: :wink: :roll:


Don't need to! Don't forget....I am the expert! :wink:


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## phil (May 7, 2002)

Wasn't there one a year or so ago which was something along the lines of "from which angle should I look at my car?"


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## Loz180 (Sep 20, 2004)

What Angle should I have my phone arial at?? 45 degrees or will I get better reception with it pointing straight up?? I just can't decide if the looks are more important that the performance. Help me guys, please!


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## vlastan (May 6, 2002)

Loz180 said:


> What Angle should I have my phone arial at?? 45 degrees or will I get better reception with it pointing straight up?? I just can't decide if the looks are more important that the performance. Help me guys, please!


You have an aerial in your mobile?    

I suggest you buy a new one without aerial so you don't have to worry about the angle. :wink:


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## Guy (May 13, 2002)

At what angle is the transmitter sticking up in the air - 45 degrees or straight up?


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## vlastan (May 6, 2002)

It sticks straight up parallel to the device. What you need to know is that you should NEVER hold on the top of your mobile as this is where the antenna is. It uses power for no reason and the power radiates through your body.


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## Steve_Mc (May 6, 2002)

pas_55 said:


> :wink: Well I do know how to.It's just some of the things people post on off topic,ie how high do I mount my 42" plasma screen? How do I get to Cannes.Fuck me guys how the hell do you get through the day if you have to ask questions like these let alone afford a TT. :wink:


If you want to know how to wipe your arse, try removing your head from it first. :twisted: :wink:


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## phil (May 7, 2002)

vlastan said:


> It sticks straight up parallel to the device. What you need to know is that you should NEVER hold on the top of your mobile as this is where the antenna is. It uses power for no reason and the power radiates through your body.


Of course there's a reason. It uses power because it has electromagnetic radio waves to transmit.

Anyway, radiation from mobile phones causes very little harm, less than sticking your head in a regular microwave.


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## garyc (May 7, 2002)

Arse-wiping is best done with paper:

with a small dog:










Charmin for a big branded experience:










And Kandoo for a younger persons full-on lifestyle shitting experience.



















This is all true. I know this to be the case as I saw it on the TV.


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## raven (May 7, 2002)

Don't think I agree with this flame. Why read the post if it's so obvious to you? What is obvious to you is obviously not obvious to others. 

Using the plasma screen as an example, I haven't got one myself, but I presume that once you've mounted it, it's a right shag to take it down and re-mount it. So other's experience might be useful. Equally, "how many miles before I run out of petrol" is also valid as the DIS is hopelessly pessimistic. I've driven in France in a state of panic with the DIS showing 0 miles for about 30 miles before I found a petrol station. When I fill up it turns out I had something like 5 litres still in the tank.


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## Jazzedout (May 8, 2002)

pas_55 said:


> :wink: Well I do know how to.It's just some of the things people post on off topic,ie how high do I mount my 42" plasma screen? How do I get to Cannes.Fuck me guys how the hell do you get through the day if you have to ask questions like these let alone afford a TT. :wink:
> 
> *kmpowell - edited text slightly, so it's not personal *


So I am guessing that you do not like forums where people ask questions that you, so obviously, feel you have the answer for and think it is as easy as wipping your ass! Why didn't you answer my question on how high to mount my plasma TV then? You read the thread, took the time and replied about Jonah's cabling but not to my original question. Are you keeping it a secret for yourself? 
So you think that if someone can not decide on what height its best to mount his TV (which is something done once) he can not get through the day? You think that everyone that can survive a day can mount a plasma TV? What kind of logic is this?
Also, what's the connection between asking such a question and being able to afford a TT? Obviously the same way I can afford my TV and everything else I have! 
It seems that probably you do not like the whole idea of the off topic section, which IMHO is there for people to discuss such topics and hear what others have to share about the subject.
I think that your post is not only a personal flame to me, but to all other forum members who tried to help me with their replies as well.
Maybe you are just a guy who installs a plasma screen every time he wipes his ass... who knows... life is full of mysteries....


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## phil (May 7, 2002)

The man's got a point. :?


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## garyc (May 7, 2002)

The concept of re-affirmation is not dead here.


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## StuarTT (May 7, 2002)

jdn said:


> The worst question has to be:
> 
> 'What colour car should I choose?'


To be fair there is something worse than this question and that being that evryone still answers it (I admit to being a guilty party here as I want to share the beautiful yellow of my car with everyone :roll


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## L8_0RGY (Sep 12, 2003)

Jazzedout said:


> Maybe you are just a guy who installs a plasma screen every time he wipes his ass... who knows... life is full of mysteries....


 :lol: :lol:

We are in the process of mounting our plasma at home, and have moved it once already as we found it was too high and we were having to look up.

Surely the obvious height to mount it at is where if feels comfortable for you???


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## pas_55 (May 9, 2002)

:wink: Well I've had my plasma screen coming up to 2 years now.When I bought it I did not think of asking a lot of people I really dont know so, do you know what I did,spooky really I read the the book(about the size of the inner London yellow pages) that came with it.Now I guess if I still was not sure I could maybe of phoned up the dealers to gain some further insight.Now this post is not just aimed at this sort of post but all coupe or roadster(which do you think I should buy) posts. :wink:


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## garyc (May 7, 2002)

I just used common sense when getting my plasma mounted on wall. It really was rather easy.


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## jampott (Sep 6, 2003)

garyc said:


> I just used common sense when getting my plasma mounted on wall. It really was rather easy.


Ahh but when you are buying a new house, and just see a lounge with no furniture in, and are trying to picture WHERE you can put a plasma - its kind of important to know whether or not it is possible to mount it (say) above a fireplace etc...

Room dynamics are SO important (daahlings) and it may have decided for me which sofas to go for, and whether I'd need a wall mounting kit or not...


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