# Babies:



## kelm1979 (Dec 2, 2004)

The Smiths were unable to conceive children,

and decided to use a surrogate father to start

their family.

On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his
wife and said, "I'm off. The man should be here soon".

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby
photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. "Good
morning madam. I've come to......" "Oh, no need to explain. I've
been expecting you," Mrs. Smith cut in.
"Really?" the photographer asked. "Well,

good! I've made a specialty of babies."

"That's what my husband and I had hoped.

Please come in and have a seat."

After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we
start?"

"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub,one on

the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living

room floor is fun too.... you can really spread out!"

"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for

Harry and me."

"Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."

"My, my, that's a lot of ..! ! ." gasped Mrs. Smith. "Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in and
out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm
sure."

"Don't I know it," Mrs. Smith muttered.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio
of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus." 
"Oh my god!!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief. 
"And these twins turned out exceptionally well, but the mother was difficult."

"She wasdifficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.

"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get
the job done right. People were
crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get a good
look."

"Four and five deep?" asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement. 
"Yes", the photographer said. "And for more
than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing
and
yelling
I could hardly concentrate! Then darkness approached and I began
to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on
my equipment, I just packed it all in." 
"...On your um...equipment ?" 
"That's right. Well, madam, if you're ready,
I'll set up my tripod so that we can get to work."

"Tripod??"

"Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much
too big for me to hold very long. Madam?

Madam?.....Good Lord,
she's fainted! :wink:


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## Multiprocess (Aug 9, 2004)

Very good Kel! :lol:


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## stgeorgex997 (Feb 25, 2004)

:lol: :lol: :lol:


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## Sim (Mar 7, 2003)

Boom Boom :lol:


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## smuTTy (May 3, 2004)

:lol:


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