# Wasps



## Steve_Mc (May 6, 2002)

The chavs of the insect world. Discuss.

Steve

PS Yes I did get stung at the weekend :roll: :wink:


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## coupe-sport (May 7, 2002)

Yep - sat out on Friday night enjoying a beer or two and so many of the fuckers around had to go inside. :x

Pointless creatures - what do they actually do ??


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## jimfew (Mar 5, 2004)

Hi Steve,

There seems to be loads of them this summer. I have had three nests in my house this year so far! As the summer progresses, they get driven out of the nests and get drunk on fermenting fruit (a kind of cider party for wasps!). This makes for an agressive, drunk and curious insect.

I have noticed that the numbers are increasing rapidly so more stings are on the way. I have had to put up netting at my open windows to keep the hoardes at bay.

I also noticed on the news that a man got stung and died from the reaction recently whilst removing a nest from his garden fence.

Oh well, at least its sunny!

Jim.


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## Kell (May 28, 2002)

Apparently, a lot of them aren't wasps at all, but Hover FLies. Heard it on the news the other day that thye've all come over from France.

I tell you, they come over here, drink our beer etc...

Oh and by the way, I got stung by a bee at the weekend...

Â£20 for a jar of honey. :roll:


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## muTTley (Mar 15, 2004)

coupe-sport said:


> Yep - sat out on Friday night enjoying a beer or two and so many of the fuckers around had to go inside. :x
> 
> Pointless creatures - what do they actually do ??


actually, in the early summer they eat lots of aphids and other garden pests so they very useful.... then they turn into pains in the arse.

i knew that evening ill on the sofa watching gardener's world would pay off eventually


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## KevinST (May 6, 2002)

Hover flies are much smaller... can't see how people can confuse the 2 (except thet both have yellow / black bodies  ).

We've got 2 nests at the moment; one in one of the sheds and the other in a wood pile. Council are coming to get rid of them.


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## jimfew (Mar 5, 2004)

KevinST said:


> Council are coming to get rid of them.


Hi Kevin,

Council got rid of mine too, Â£48 per nest......now that's a sting!

Jim.


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## KevinST (May 6, 2002)

Mine's going to charge Â£40 for the first and Â£10 per nest after that.
A lot cheaper than one of the "Pest Control" companies I got a quote from... Â£90 per nest !!


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## phil (May 7, 2002)

KevinST said:


> Hover flies are much smaller... can't see how people can confuse the 2 (except thet both have yellow / black bodies  ).


And hover flies don't look like wasps either.

They're bloody everywhere. I had to go inside at the pub yesterday too, cos the little bastards kept going into our pints. 
Horrible creatures.


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## Kell (May 28, 2002)

phil said:


> KevinST said:
> 
> 
> > Hover flies are much smaller... can't see how people can confuse the 2 (except thet both have yellow / black bodies  ).
> ...


Well - all I can say is that they were on the news, and they said most people were confusing them. :?


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## phil (May 7, 2002)

Kell said:


> Well - all I can say is that they were on the news, and they said most people were confusing them. :?


I'm not disputing you. I'm just pointing out that people are stupid. 
And you'll be happy to know, you're crap joke made me laugh out loud at work.


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## XXMetal (Jan 20, 2004)

phil said:


> And hover flies don't look like wasps either.


I know I'd had a few beers on Friday night and trapped wasp in t pint glass. We put a hover file in to see what would happen. Well when the wasp found the hover file, it stung it then proceeded to eat it's head.


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## John C (Jul 5, 2002)

jimfew said:


> KevinST said:
> 
> 
> > Council are coming to get rid of them.
> ...


Arf arf!


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## vlastan (May 6, 2002)

XXMetal said:


> phil said:
> 
> 
> > And hover flies don't look like wasps either.
> ...


Interesting for a science programme. Did you video taped it and sent it to BBC?


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## Justman (Sep 18, 2003)

I was driving with the top down last week enjoying the sun when one of the little buggers came into my car. The thing kept on flying in front of my face while I was driving and I couldn't pull over and stop as I was on a country lane with cars behind me. I tried to get it to bugger off but it just stayed there. :evil:

It was pretty difficult trying to concentrate on driving when it started flying around my neck and went down the back of my seat. Eventually it pissed off but I don't think I have experienced fear like that ever in my life!!!


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## phil (May 7, 2002)

XXMetal said:


> I know I'd had a few beers on Friday night and trapped wasp in t pint glass. We put a hover file in to see what would happen. Well when the wasp found the hover file, it stung it then proceeded to eat it's head.


Nice.

I remember catching wasps by their wings when I was a kid. They went absolutely mental. You could get them to sting anything.


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## snaxo (May 31, 2002)

Good flame.

I hate f**kin wasps - as far as I am concerned they deserve no less than extermination.

Bar-B-Q last week ruined by them. Couldn't eat dinner in the garden last night because of them. Supposed to be having another bar-b this week.
Hopefully the neighbour will get rid of the nest in time - it's in their eaves (though I had to point it out to them).

They are evil little bastards.

Damian


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## vlastan (May 6, 2002)

If you let them fly around you they won't harm you. But if you start waving your hands around to get rid of them, then expect to be attacked.

In Germany in the bakeries where the sweets are, they allow bees to hover around them and even sit on the sweets. Very weird.


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## snaxo (May 31, 2002)

Sorry but if they come near me I will try to kill them.

Also they do sting apparently without reason. I remember many years ago watching a Wasp land on my sister on holiday while she was sleeping. She didn't MOVE - and the damn thing stung her! Evil git!

This seems like a good site ==>

http://www.trapawasp.co.uk/



Damian


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## phil (May 7, 2002)

One good way of getting rid of them is setting a trap. One which I've use in the past is to get a bottle, and put some cheapy strong alcohol in the bottom. Then get some honey or syrup and put it inside the neck of the bottle, also shoving some in with the booze. 
The wasps love it. Straight in there. Into the neck for the honey, maybe fight with other wasps, then fall in. Once they're in they start going for each other but most die from the alcohol. You can get a few hundred wasps into a wine bottle.

And remember, an angry hornet in a cigar tube makes an inexpensive vibrator.


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## jimfew (Mar 5, 2004)

phil said:


> And remember, an angry hornet in a cigar tube makes an inexpensive vibrator.


That one made me spill hot coffee into my lap [smiley=bigcry.gif], seriously funny.......

you should be on the stage :lol: :lol:

Jim. (not able to have kids anymore because of Phil's talent!)


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## stgeorgex997 (Feb 25, 2004)

Having a beer on my brothers stag do last weekend, look down in to my pint and see some bastard wasp having swim... :evil:

Hope my beer was a good last drink :twisted:


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## phil (May 7, 2002)

jimfew said:


> phil said:
> 
> 
> > And remember, an angry hornet in a cigar tube makes an inexpensive vibrator.
> ...


No credit due here. Top tip from viz. Jeez, twice in a day.


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## jimfew (Mar 5, 2004)

phil said:


> jimfew said:
> 
> 
> > phil said:
> ...


Hey Phil, you gettin' kickbacks from viz? How about some quotes from "home and garden" or "the turf layers guide to brick laying"?

Just to even up the debate you understand........of course you do........

Jim.


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## TT Twister (Apr 14, 2004)

All my life I've had a love-hate relationships with "yellowjackets". They scare me to death (be very careful not to drink from a glass that has one swimming in it!) but if you observe them up close they are stunningly beautiful and fascinating creatures.
Apparently they are quite useful but unfortunately they're also experts in ruining an otherwise perfect barbecue party.
My tip: keep the vacuum cleaner nearby. It's quite easy to suck them up and less messy and dangerous than trying to hit them.
Some useful info here (including DIY wasp traps).
Hans.


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## raven (May 7, 2002)

Wasps are highly important to ecosystems. Sawflies consume vegetation and so limit plant growth. Most other wasps are either parasitic or predaceous and therefore play a vital role in limiting the populations of thousands of other insect species. All wasps are eaten by other species, thereby providing many links in the food web. Many parasitic wasps have been cultured and used in the biological control of agricultural pests. Although a few of the stinging wasps are considered nuisances, they also provide benefits. Yellow jackets and paper wasps, for example, prey on caterpillars and other larvae that can destroy crops. Wasps feed on flower nectar and play a role in pollination.

Interestingly enough, wasps can't swim (unlike flies) so it's very easy to drown them. That's why Phil's bottle thing works with wasps and not with flies.

I nicked the first paragraph off a website by the way, and the second one was my own. Bet you never guessed that.


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## phil (May 7, 2002)

raven said:


> I nicked the first paragraph off a website by the way, and the second one was my own. Bet you never guessed that.


I was impressed until you said that.


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## L8_0RGY (Sep 12, 2003)

Wasps, AND other insects.

A couple of weekends ago i went round to a friends for a BBQ in the evening, and as soon as i stepped outside i had a million and one bugs all over me.

I got quite a few bites but nothing painful, more irritating, but the girls whose party it was couldn't stop laughing as they weren't attracting any flies.


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## jimfew (Mar 5, 2004)

L8_0RGY said:


> as they weren't attracting any flies.


......time for a shower, methinks? :lol: :lol:

Jim.


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## Matthew (Oct 6, 2003)

They are horrible. I bear them no malice - They're just acting on instinct. As previously said, they're all shit faced this time of year and get all lary. Sounds like humans actually........

If you sit there flapping stupidly at them they will get irritated and sting you - If you can bear to just wait until they clear off then they shouldn't get aggressive. The main problem is the empty glasses left around at this time of year which attract them; We had a nest in the garage and unfortunately had to get rid of it, since we were having a BBQ and everyone congregates in the garage (where the bar is).

There do seem to be loads of them around this year though and they seem to be the most dimwitted of creatures.


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## racer (Feb 3, 2003)

phil said:


> They're bloody everywhere. I had to go inside at the pub yesterday too, cos the little bastards kept going into our pints.
> Horrible creatures.


Try putting a beer mat on top of your pint. :wink:


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## H (Jul 20, 2004)

See page 35 Thursday (today) Daily Mail


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## H (Jul 20, 2004)

Angry, Greedy and obsessed with sex

I'm coming back as a wasp


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## XXMetal (Jan 20, 2004)

Don't you only find White Anglo-Saxon Protestants in the USA?

I'll get my coat :?


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## H (Jul 20, 2004)

The Buzzzzzzzzing kind M8


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## H (Jul 20, 2004)

Iv'e got an uncle in the states who told me he was a W A S P. When I realised what he meant I felt sick (the asshole)
[smiley=behead2.gif]


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## jonhaff (May 20, 2002)

You shoudl all learn to tell the difference between Hover fly and wasps cos Hover's dont have a sting and are harmless......but wasps well... they do !


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## StuarTT (May 7, 2002)

racer said:


> phil said:
> 
> 
> > They're bloody everywhere. I had to go inside at the pub yesterday too, cos the little bastards kept going into our pints.
> ...


It is what they were originally invested for! Not so that lazy bar staff don;t have to wipe the tables down.


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## garyc (May 7, 2002)

H said:


> Iv'e got an uncle in the states who told me he was a W A S P. When I realised what he meant I felt sick (the asshole)
> [smiley=behead2.gif]


Why? it's just a factual and accepted description of cultural and ethnic status. Unlike say White Supremicist etc.


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## raven (May 7, 2002)

jonhaff said:


> You shoudl all learn to tell the difference between Hover fly and wasps cos Hover's dont have a sting and are harmless......but wasps well... they do !


It's hardly difficult - that would be like confusing a dog and a cat.


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## KevinST (May 6, 2002)

Man from the council visited this morning.... both nests delt with

[smiley=behead.gif] [smiley=behead.gif] [smiley=behead.gif] [smiley=behead.gif] [smiley=behead.gif] [smiley=behead.gif]


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## Kell (May 28, 2002)

White Anglo Saxon Protestant isn't it?


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## snaxo (May 31, 2002)

Check this out..

http://www.zapbat.co.uk/

Ordered. :twisted: :twisted:

Damian


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## Matthew (Oct 6, 2003)

XXMetal said:


> Don't you only find White Anglo-Saxon Protestants in the USA?
> 
> I'll get my coat :?


I got it mate. Don't feel bad.


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## raven (May 7, 2002)

I went camping at the weekend and I have never seen so many wasps. I set up one of those traps with a plastic bottle cut in half and turned upside down, put some jam at the bottom, and within about one hour it had trapped about 20 of the buggers. Fantastic.


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## Kell (May 28, 2002)

Did any of these reports actually explain WHY there are so many about this year?


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## J 22S DS (Aug 17, 2004)

I agree wasps are a pain in the arse - on par i believe with the people who stop you every two yards on holiday with damn flyers!

Wasps, flyers, wasps, flyers - cant make my mind up!!!


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## MacBuff (Aug 11, 2004)

coupe-sport said:


> Yep - sat out on Friday night enjoying a beer or two and so many of the fuckers around had to go inside. :x
> 
> Pointless creatures - what do they actually do ??


They like to drown themselves in your beer - it doesn't taste the same after...

John


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## Steve_Mc (May 6, 2002)

I heard a wasp won the lottery last week....

.....<cue indignant lynch mob>....


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## GRANNY (Jun 18, 2002)

Bring back the Darleks, and EXTERMINATE, the little buggers [smiley=furious3.gif] :x :x :x :x :x :x


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## H (Jul 20, 2004)

The best remedy for wasps I can think of is the use of 
[smiley=baby.gif] jampoTTs [smiley=baby.gif]

Fill the jampoTTs with 350zzzzzzzzzzzzzz's that'll attract the little Buzzzzzz'ers (they like sweet sticky little things)


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## jampott (Sep 6, 2003)

H said:


> The best remedy for wasps I can think of is the use of
> [smiley=baby.gif] jampoTTs [smiley=baby.gif]
> 
> Fill the jampoTTs with 350zzzzzzzzzzzzzz's that'll attract the little Buzzzzzz'ers (they like sweet sticky little things)


You're weird....


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## Storm (Aug 4, 2004)

Wasps, right. They truly are the embodiment of evil spewed forth from Satan's own backside. There isn't a nice thing about them, they serve no positive purpose, their entire reason for existing is to send me slowly insane.

Lets break it down to the basis of human existence, I believe we live to feel, nothing more, nothing less. So lets see how wasps effect the 5 senses:

Sight: They look evil. It's as simple as that really. Have you ever looked at a wasps head? I mean really looked? The droopy like antennas and the pincer like mouth confirm beyond any shadow of a doubt that they are indeed the offspring of Beelzebub. And the way their bodies are split up into 3 parts. We're not talking curvy like an attractive female here, no, we're talking a complete freak of science as to how they stay together during flight! And black and yellow stripes? Puh-lease - that's so 1974.

Sound:I can honestly say that I can't think of another noise that scares me, for example - I have no fear of dentist drills as all my teeth are in mint condition. But just let my ears lock on to the faintest buzzing sound for a shortest part of a second and my heart rate triples, my palms go all sweaty. In fact the physiological effects are comparable to those experienced when approaching an attractive girl for the first time and requesting the pleasure of her company, except the screaming of course, I rarely scream when I see a wasp. And what about their ability to throw their buzzing sound? Have they been taking lessons from Keith Harris?! "It's over by the window, no no, it's by the couch, no it's over the table, No, it's on me! It's in my jumper!!!" Which is quickly followed by a scene of stripping and jumping on clothes.

Touch: Let's skip the fact that the thought of something with legs more spindly than those belonging to Calista Flockheart crawling over me sends shivers down my spine, and jump to the obviously horrifying part. The sting. I'm not talking about a 1970's film starting Paul Newman here, no. I'm talking about the fact that these swines can actually hurt you! Not only do they hurt you, but what's the recommended solution for curing a wasp sting? Pour vinegar all over yourself! So not only are you in intense pain, but you also smell like Stavros Rastapanolous, the owner of the local chippy. Right, what's left? Smell and taste. Let's take smell first.

Smell: No, a wasp does not omit offensive smells comparible with a sunk, or myself after one too many pints of Guinness, but what they do do is hang around things that smell nice. You walk up to a flower, inhale the sweet smelling fumes and you end up getting a wasps arse planted firmly up your left nostril - that's not going to be pleasant I can tell you! Not only that, but wasps communicate using smell. Can you imagine you discussing a topic using smell in the pub with a few mates after one too many beers and a curry? Doesn't bear thinking about does it?

Taste: I think it's fair to say that, although I've never eaten a wasp, I am as confident that they taste revolting as I am that spiders have a contract out on my life.

I'm sorry, I'm a troubled man.

I guess what I really fear is being made a Human Slave, in an insect nation!! Ahhh ahhh ahhhh.


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## DXN (May 18, 2002)

My poor little lad of 16 months has been stung twice in one week now.


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## vlastan (May 6, 2002)

If you want to know why there are so many wasps around read this article from the BBC. It gives a quick overview of the British summer that has finished yesterday. Scroll down to read the wasp section.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/3595182.stm


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## jimfew (Mar 5, 2004)

vlastan said:


> If you want to know why there are so many wasps around read this article from the BBC. It gives a quick overview of the British summer that has finished yesterday. Scroll down to read the wasp section.
> 
> http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/3595182.stm


The spread of "...eco-friendly farming". I have to say I would need to swallow that with a long beer!

Not much eco-friendly (or any type) of farming in London, still lots of wasps though, although reducing in number now.

Jim.


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## garyc (May 7, 2002)

Storm said:


> Touch: Let's skip the fact that the thought of something with legs more spindly than those belonging to Calista Flockheart crawling over me sends shivers down my spine,


I think CF is sexy.


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## jdn (Aug 26, 2002)

garyc said:


> I think CF is sexy.


What!

I think she is a pouty, xylophone chested munter.

Euughh.


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## garyc (May 7, 2002)

jdn said:


> garyc said:
> 
> 
> > I think CF is sexy.
> ...


You reckon?

I would. 


















Every last drop in fact.


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## jdn (Aug 26, 2002)

Face like a frog.

Harrison Ford can keep her.


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## DXN (May 18, 2002)

xylophone chested! :lol:


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## H (Jul 20, 2004)

Mmmmmmmmmmmmm......................................CF............wasps legs....................CF...........................wasps legs.........................CF.............nope :!: I either need more beer [smiley=cheers.gif] or I'm on the wrong kind of baccy :!:


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## vlastan (May 6, 2002)

Gary likes flat chested women with a BMI of 15. :lol:


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## garyc (May 7, 2002)

vlastan said:


> Gary likes flat chested women with a BMI of 15. :lol:


Bee stings (or wasp bites) work for me. Although I am a little confused as to what British Midland International have got to do with it.


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## Storm (Aug 4, 2004)

CF? Sexy?

C'mon lads, she'd be alright as Skeletor's bride, but if any normal bloke got her in the sack they'd seriously risk snapping her in two!

She's all skin and bone, I'd rather have a woman with a few curves you can hang on to! 'spose you could always grab hold of CF's ribs, they stick out further than her nipples at any rate.

/not a fan


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## S11POW (Oct 22, 2003)

L8_0RGY said:


> A couple of weekends ago i went round to a friends for a BBQ in the evening, and as soon as i stepped outside i had a million and one bugs all over me.
> 
> I got quite a few bites but nothing painful, more irritating, but the girls whose party it was couldn't stop laughing as they weren't attracting any flies.


The Lynx Effect
They dont show ya that on the adverts now, do they??


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## jdn (Aug 26, 2002)

Storm said:


> CF? Sexy?
> 
> C'mon lads, she'd be alright as Skeletor's bride, but if any normal bloke got her in the sack they'd seriously risk snapping her in two!
> 
> ...


Agreed, hence my 'xylophone chested' description.


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