# One liners



## Guy (May 13, 2002)

A pair of jumper cables walk into a bar. 
The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
---------------------
A sandwich walks into a bar. 
The barman says, "Sorry, we don't serve food in here."
----------------------
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
----------------------
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."
--------------------------------
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my electron."
The other says, "Are you sure?"
The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."

----------------------
Two cannibals are eating a clown. 
One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
--------------------------
"Doc, I can't stop singing 'The green, green grass of home.'"
"That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome."
"Is it common?"
"It's not unusual."
----------------------------
Two cows standing next to each other in a field, Daisy says to Dolly "I was artificially inseminated this morning."
"I don't believe you," said Dolly.
"It's true, no bull!"
----------------------------
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
---------------------------------
I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, "no, the steaks are too high."
-----------------------------------
What do you call a fish with no eyes? A f sh.
----------------------------------
Two fish swim into a concrete wall. 
One turns to the other and says, "dam"
-------------------------------------
Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.


----------



## phil (May 7, 2002)

<pedant>Some of them were more than one line. </pedant>


----------



## droopsnoot (Sep 5, 2002)

William Shakespeare goes to a bar, but the bouncer says "you're not coming in, you're barred".


----------



## p4ul (May 14, 2003)

There are 10 types of people who understand binary; those who do and those that don't


----------



## mother (Feb 6, 2003)

> There are 10 types of people who understand binary; those who do and those that don't


Now that's a joke that wouldn't work at the dinner table!


----------



## phil (May 7, 2002)

> Now that's a joke that wouldn't work at the dinner table!


Unless your family are all geeks. 
Maybe we should start writing "5" instead of "lol"....


----------



## nutts (May 8, 2002)

*5* 



> Unless your family are all geeks. Â
> Maybe we should start writing "5" instead of "lol"....


----------



## NickP (May 6, 2002)

A Seal walks into a club :


----------



## Guy (May 13, 2002)

> phil
> Re: One liners
> Â« Reply #1 on: May 29th, 2003, 8:59am Â» Report Quote Modify
> 
> ...


"5"

Narrow pages

ROTFLMAO


----------

