# The best joke in the world......ever!



## Widget (May 7, 2002)

This bloke walks into the poshest restaurant in town!
"Where's the god damn, mother fucking Manager you cock sucking arse wipe?" he politely inquires to one of the waiters.

The waiter is naturally taken aback and replies, "Excuse me sir but could you please refrain from using that sort of language in here, I will get the manager as soon as I can".

The manager comes over and the bloke asks, "Are you the chicken fucking manager of this bastard joint?"

"Yes sir, I am", replies the manager, "but I would prefer it if you could refrain from speaking such profanities in this, a private restaurant".

"Fuck off" replies the bloke "and where's the fucking piano?"
"Pardon?" says the manager.

"Fucking deaf as well are we? You little piece of snivelling shit, show us your pissing piano".

"Ahhhh!" replies the manager, "you've come about the pianist job" and shows the bloke to the piano.
"Can you play any blues?"

"Of course I can," and the bloke proceeds to play the most inspiring and beautiful sounding honky tonk blues that the manager has ever heard.

"That's superb. What's it called?"

"I want to fuck your missus on the sofa but the springs keep hurting me knob," replies the bloke. The manager is a bit disturbed and asks if the bloke knows any jazz. The bloke proceeds, playing the most melancholy jazz solo the manager has ever heard.

"Magnificent!" cries the manager "What's it called?"

"I wanted a wank over the washin' machine but me balls got caught in the soap drawer".

The manager is a tad embarrassed and asks if he knows any romantic ballads, the bloke then plays the most heart breaking melody.

"And what's this called?" asks the manager

"As I fuck you under the stars with the moonlight shining off your hairy ring-piece", replies the bloke.

The manager is highly upset by the bloke's language but offers him the job on the condition that he doesn't introduce any of his songs or talk to any of the customers. This arrangement works well for a couple of months until one night sitting opposite him is the most gorgeous blonde he has ever laid his eyes on. She's wearing an almost see through dress, her tits are almost falling out of the top of her black lace bra, and the skimpy little G-string she is wearing is riding up the crack of her arse. She is siiting there with her legs slightly open sucking suggestively on asparagus shoots and the butter is dripping down her chin! (get the picture).

Anyway, it's too much for the bloke and he runs off to the bogs to 'wrestle with his bald headed champ'. He's pulling away furiously when he hears the managers voice, "Where's that bastard pianist?".

He just has time to shoot his bolt and in a fluster runs back to the piano having not bothered to adjust himself properly, sits down and starts playing some more tunes.

The blonde steps up and walks over to the piano, leans over and whispers in his ear, "Do you know your knob and bollocks are hanging out your trousers and dripping jissum on your shoes?".

"Know it?" the bloke replies, "I fucking wrote it!!"


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## Guest (Jan 24, 2003)

[smiley=thumbsup.gif]


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## TTotal (Aug 12, 2002)

Truly the best ever Right [smiley=thumbsup.gif] [smiley=thumbsup.gif] [smiley=thumbsup.gif]


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## Silversea (Jun 18, 2002)

LOL.... [smiley=gorgeous.gif] [smiley=guitarist.gif]


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## Widget (May 7, 2002)

Still makes me piss myself everytime I read it ;D


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## Widget (May 7, 2002)

Just had to dig this little baby out ;D


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## TTotal (Aug 12, 2002)

Truly great , have just sent it round again ! Happy Christmas Widge ;D


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## 55JWB (May 7, 2002)

[smiley=gorgeous.gif] [smiley=furious3.gif] = [smiley=jester.gif]


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## StuarTT (May 7, 2002)

Yep, still makes me laugh when I read it... [smiley=crowngrin.gif]


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