# Bloody women...



## rustyintegrale (Oct 1, 2006)

What is it about women?

They moan when you don't do something and forever interfere when you do. [smiley=bomb.gif]

For fucks sake, let me do it or do it yourself... [smiley=argue.gif]

Don't give me your unrequested advice or assistance. Just fuck off and leave me to get it done...

Jeezus... [smiley=bigcry.gif]


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## Guest (Jun 29, 2011)

rustyintegrale said:


> What is it about women?
> 
> They moan when you don't do something and forever interfere when you do. [smiley=bomb.gif]
> 
> ...


It's there, right near the top mate...


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## rustyintegrale (Oct 1, 2006)

manphibian said:


> rustyintegrale said:
> 
> 
> > What is it about women?
> ...


No mate, it's down at the bottom... :wink:


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## YoungOldUn (Apr 12, 2011)

:lol: :lol:

Was going to say that I always thought things were going well when they moaned


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

rustyintegrale said:


> manphibian said:
> 
> 
> > rustyintegrale said:
> ...


twatttttt :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: oh sozz meant arseeeeeeee


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## rustyintegrale (Oct 1, 2006)

You're cooking dinner right, got everything timed out to perfection and without telling me she moves the Jersey Royals to the furnace ring on the hob...

I'm gently steaming these fuckers to keep them looking like potatoes, tasting sweet like Jerseys should and without the need to add any other ingredient and BAM! let's boil the shit out of them...

They ended up floury, starchy, falling apart and the water dries out.

Then I have to speed cook everything else and it's a fucking disaster.

Why does everything have to be done yesterday for fucks sake?! [smiley=bigcry.gif]


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

rustyintegrale said:


> You're cooking dinner right, got everything timed out to perfection and without telling me she moves the Jersey Royals to the furnace ring on the hob...
> 
> I'm gently steaming these fuckers to keep them looking like potatoes, tasting sweet like Jerseys should and without the need to add any other ingredient and BAM! let's boil the shit out of them...
> 
> ...


she killed the jerseys??? divorce m8 that is just not on :twisted:


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## rustyintegrale (Oct 1, 2006)

gazzer1964 said:


> rustyintegrale said:
> 
> 
> > You're cooking dinner right, got everything timed out to perfection and without telling me she moves the Jersey Royals to the furnace ring on the hob...
> ...


She knows I love 'em. She knows I know how to cook 'em and they're not fooking bought in a plastic bag from the bleedin' supermarket... :lol:


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## Charlie (Dec 15, 2006)

I have to agree wholeheartedly with the general sentiment Rich 

Classic response from Luke 

Charlie


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## Tangerine Knight (Jul 25, 2010)

not happy unless they are either shopping or moaning

mine is exactly the same moans like fuck , then when you start doing the thing she wanted suddenly shes a fucking expert

recent example fitted the kitchen last month whole lot ripped out all new put back in SHOULD YOU BE DOING IT THAT WAY? TELL YOU WHAT LOVE YOU FUCKING DO IT [is my responce] big fallout and its all my fault and wants me to apologise for having a go

sorry love not while the hole in my arse points downwards

then you are accused of being nasty and aggresive my responce you didnt marry a boy scout

needles to say still not speaking its fucking great and i have first claim on the tele remote so i can watch all the war/gore and not psychic fucking sally or how to look good naked [easy love turn the light off]


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## rustyintegrale (Oct 1, 2006)

blackpoolfc said:


> not happy unless they are either shopping or moaning
> 
> mine is exactly the same moans like fuck , then when you start doing the thing she wanted suddenly shes a fucking expert
> 
> ...


We're on the road to divorce now.

I'm marrying my right hand from now on, or paying for it. :lol:


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## Tangerine Knight (Jul 25, 2010)

she is sat in the front room doing her nails

i know ill go and polish my car better not will get moaned at, and her responce IVE NEVER HAD TO COMPETE WITH A CAR BEFORE

as far as divorce, been married to her for 3 years , met her after i divorced the last one to be honest the last one was better than her SHOULD I SEE IF SHE WANTS ME BACK ?

no fuck it got a double garage o/s woodburning stove/microwave /kettle and tv oh and reclining chair i nicked when the neighbour put it out for the binmen to take

ithink i will live in the garage from now on


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## rustyintegrale (Oct 1, 2006)

blackpoolfc said:


> she is sat in the front room doing her nails
> 
> i know ill go and polish my car better not will get moaned at, and her responce IVE NEVER HAD TO COMPETE WITH A CAR BEFORE
> 
> ...


Jeezus mate. You know what? I looked at the garage. I can get wireless internet in there and I can block hers if I want...

Trouble is I like my Egyptian cotton sheets so she can fucking sleep in there! :lol:


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## techfreak (Aug 13, 2010)

Can definitely agree with this.

It's bonkers i tell thee. Where's the logic?

Will you do the dishes tonight love?

Course.

Then comes the : why you doing it like that? Do it like this?

They're clean arn't they?

Yes but...

Then when i offer to do em, she starts on em then comes the mardies for not doing em!
Did i not say i'd do em today?


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## Smeds (Oct 28, 2009)

I hate it when my girlfriend phones with a problem, tears and tantrums galore. I'm a man so I offer a resolution to the problem (generally involves me lending her money for her car, as she has spent all hers on her bloody horse) whatever I suggest is wrong, she will find something wrong in what I've suggested and more tears will flow, I start getting irate with her and say something worthy of Eastenders she hangs up in a sulk. Women are just plain bonkers, mine is for sure.

Last weekend we went strawberry picking, got to the farm and I couldn't be arsed with it so said we may as well just buy ones they had ready boxed up. 
her "but we came here to pick them ourselves" 
me "ok, we'll go pick them"
her "but I'm only wearing flip flops I'll get dirty"
FOR FUCKS SAKE, can't win either way.

I could go on and on and on...


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## rustyintegrale (Oct 1, 2006)

Smeds said:


> I hate it when my girlfriend phones with a problem, tears and tantrums galore. I'm a man so I offer a resolution to the problem (generally involves me lending her money for her car, as she has spent all hers on her bloody horse) whatever I suggest is wrong, she will find something wrong in what I've suggested and more tears will flow, I start getting irate with her and say something worthy of Eastenders she hangs up in a sulk. Women are just plain bonkers, mine is for sure.
> 
> Last weekend we went strawberry picking, got to the farm and I couldn't be arsed with it so said we may as well just buy ones they had ready boxed up.
> her "but we came here to pick them ourselves"
> ...


 :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Should we post a link to this thread in the Powder Room?

It's ALL so true! :lol: :lol:


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## seasurfer (Apr 10, 2009)

Too late, already found it you rascals 



blackpoolfc said:


> to be honest the last one was better than her SHOULD I SEE IF SHE WANTS ME BACK ?


OMG  thats a line suitable for divorce if ever i saw one 

Rusty - hows ya jerseys tonight 

Gill


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## rustyintegrale (Oct 1, 2006)

seasurfer said:


> Rusty - hows ya jerseys tonight
> 
> Gill


I bought some new ones... :lol:

Gonna have them alone with chopped soft boiled eggs spooned over them.

Nothing else... maybe some freshly ground black pepper.


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## seasurfer (Apr 10, 2009)

I didnt think you would have had the same ones :lol: anyhow, thought you were coming up to our neck of the woods, or have you been ?

Soft boiled eggs over jerseys - yuk - never heard of that before.

Gill


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## Charlie (Dec 15, 2006)

The phrase "can't live with them, can't kill them" did come about for a reason


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## rustyintegrale (Oct 1, 2006)

seasurfer said:


> I didnt think you would have had the same ones :lol: anyhow, thought you were coming up to our neck of the woods, or have you been ?
> 
> Soft boiled eggs over jerseys - yuk - never heard of that before.
> 
> Gill


I was hoping to do Mark's Wales drive and really pissed off that i can't, but hey-ho I'll just have my Jerseys as I like 'em... :lol:

To be honest I normally eat them with sod all on top but the egg thing 'feels' like it might be good. 

Never tried it. But it works for egg and chips... :lol:


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## rustyintegrale (Oct 1, 2006)

Charlie said:


> The phrase "can't live with them, can't kill them" did come about for a reason


Prepare for some literary revision cop boy...

*gets shotgun*... :lol:


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## seasurfer (Apr 10, 2009)

We are alot further north than wales  you must be telling porkies tonight over those eggs 

Gill


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## rustyintegrale (Oct 1, 2006)

seasurfer said:


> We are alot further north than wales  you must be telling porkies tonight over those eggs
> 
> Gill


Have I got you mixed up Gill?

Are you amongst the Scots?

The furthest north I ever went was Northumbria when I was following Lancia in the Rally Championship donkeys years ago...

...Sad I know, but I like warmth. :lol:


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## Smeds (Oct 28, 2009)

I suppose we should also talk about the shit we have to put up with when they're getting ready for going out. The "I've got nothing to wear" bollocks.

I have a theory.... A woman will look the dogs bollocks but feel like shit, a man will look like shit but feel the dogs bollocks.


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## rustyintegrale (Oct 1, 2006)

Smeds said:


> I suppose we should also talk about the shit we have to put up with when they're getting ready for going out. The "I've got nothing to wear" bollocks.
> 
> I have a theory.... A woman will look the dogs bollocks but feel like shit, a man will look like shit but feel the dogs bollocks.


Perfect. Can we shorten that for a T shirt? :lol:


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## Smeds (Oct 28, 2009)

rustyintegrale said:


> Smeds said:
> 
> 
> > I suppose we should also talk about the shit we have to put up with when they're getting ready for going out. The "I've got nothing to wear" bollocks.
> ...


I need a new tshirt for work as it happens.


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## rustyintegrale (Oct 1, 2006)

Smeds said:


> I need a new tshirt for work as it happens.


Cool.

You work on the words, provide the design and artwork and get it made!


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## Tangerine Knight (Jul 25, 2010)

sounds good to me the t shirt idea

we now need a topic on that ill start it cant work,wont work


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## seasurfer (Apr 10, 2009)

rustyintegrale said:


> Have I got you mixed up Gill?
> 
> Are you amongst the Scots?


No not that far north, we are at the bottom end of The Lake District and its 18* and scorching - too hot to drive the TT, been in the zed for the last few days for some roofless motoring - brill  thought better of it to say topless motoring the mood you lot are in at the moment  

Gill


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## Tangerine Knight (Jul 25, 2010)

just finished work

in the garage at the moment planning the new modern duckin stool bit like the medieval one only painted in hammerite

just figuring out if the garden pond is deep enough


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

blackpoolfc said:


> just finished work
> 
> in the garage at the moment planning the new modern duckin stool bit like the medieval one only painted in hammerite
> 
> just figuring out if the garden pond is deep enough


make sure its weight tested bud...once they hit 45 they turn into captain fat fuks big sister


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## Tangerine Knight (Jul 25, 2010)

gazzer1964 said:


> blackpoolfc said:
> 
> 
> > just finished work
> ...


 :lol:

gazz didnt know you had met her

i do like this topic the girls have the powder room what do us humble men have ?


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

powder room is crap tbh.....spent two days solid in there & only found a roach no bloody sniff snort powder ..wink wink


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## seasurfer (Apr 10, 2009)

:lol:


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## redsilverblue (Mar 9, 2011)

are we girls aloud to read this? found some funny real life situations  please carry on :lol: and btw I'll bear some stuff in my mind, so I will not annoy my man as much :roll: :lol: :lol:


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## seasurfer (Apr 10, 2009)

blackpoolfc said:


> what do us humble men have ?


you dont deserve much


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## Tangerine Knight (Jul 25, 2010)

seasurfer said:


> blackpoolfc said:
> 
> 
> > what do us humble men have ?
> ...


[/quote]

gill,im sorry if ihave offended you have always been nice and pleasant when you have pm me over meets etc

any way going to pm gazzer tell him the threads are being hi jacked by the women i feel out numbered


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## seasurfer (Apr 10, 2009)

I am very nice and pleasant i will clear off to the zeddy site and leave you all in peace :-*

Gill


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

redsilverblue said:


> are we girls aloud to read this? found some funny real life situations  please carry on :lol: and btw I'll bear some stuff in my mind, so I will not annoy my man as much :roll: :lol: :lol:


easy.... speak when spoken to! or do the ironing & make yourself usefull


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## redsilverblue (Mar 9, 2011)

ouch :lol:


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## alun (Aug 2, 2010)

girl goes out.. comes in at 1 am so you ask. "where have you been"? she answers.."ive been out.. am i not allowed to see my freinds"?

girls goes out again comes in at 1am... so you say nowt.. girl says.. "arent you gonna ask where ive been? you dont care about me do you?"

:roll: fucking women.. you just cant win


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## Smeds (Oct 28, 2009)

You're not even allowed to take part.


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## Guest (Jul 1, 2011)

I actually get on with my gf......

is that weird...? :?


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## A3DFU (May 7, 2002)

blackpoolfc said:


> what do us humble men have ?


The remote control almost all of the time and the unsurpassed ability to scream, shout and point your fingers
[getting my coat ,,,, and perhaps, just perhaps, there is the exception to the rule somewhere out there which I'd like to meet]


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## Smeds (Oct 28, 2009)

manphibian said:


> I actually get on with my gf......
> 
> is that weird...? :?


Don't ge me wrong, we certainly get on and it's amazing. But sometimes......


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## Charlie (Dec 15, 2006)

I am getting married in 3.5 months and have been with Nicola for 6 years, we row weekly and sometimes I want to "light her on fire" (for any film buffs) but I know that she is the one and in fairness anyone that can put up with me for that long deserves a friggin medal 

I don't think you can be with someone and not argue and get immensely frustrated with them, it is just the human condition 

Charlie


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## seasurfer (Apr 10, 2009)

Congrats to you Charlie for the big day. I have been with Gary for 9 years, and married for two and half years to him.

I beg to differ with you saying that you cannot be with someone and not argue, Charlie I can count on one hand the times we have had a serious disagreement (not argument) unless we are the exception to the norm, so i guess we are more than well suited, and very happy too  I really dont ''get'' why couples argue like they do and stay together, its usually over nothing anyway, it wouldnt do for me, and as for killing rusty's jerseys, well, thats just not on :lol:

Gill


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## rustyintegrale (Oct 1, 2006)

seasurfer said:


> ...and as for killing rusty's jerseys, well, thats just not on :lol:


 :lol: :lol:

I'll have you know my Jersey's are very important to me... 

We very rarely argue. We throw insults at each other but we do that every day anyway. I then sleep in a spare room and we generally make up the next day.

Unless she's done something terrible... :wink:


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## TT51 (Feb 28, 2009)

Me and my other half don't really argue much but if we do have a few crossed words fuck me I get ignored for the next few days.

Sometimes thats quite handy but ffs 44 years old and acting like a spoilt kid.....oh and that reminds me :evil:

Kids, well her kids, ok for her to tell mine off but if I tell hers off they sulk and then I'm in trouble, yes more ignoring.

Secrets, hmmmm, scenario - her,why didn't you tell me about that, well I forgot, no you never you're snooping about :lol: Then the next week she goes and tells me she's going away tomorrow with the kids for the weekend, did she forget to tell me :lol:

Me -Ok, need to tell you something, about them 18th birthday arrangements for my son we originally spoke about. 
Her-What, don't remember, you didn't talk to me about it........I fucking give up [smiley=bigcry.gif]


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## seasurfer (Apr 10, 2009)

Well, just thought of something he gets at me with, he will ask if i would like a drink making, and while i think for 3 seconds , tea, coffee, cold drink, he will say, do you want me to ask you an easier question - MEN !

Gill


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## rustyintegrale (Oct 1, 2006)

seasurfer said:


> Well, just thought of something he gets at me with, he will ask if i would like a drink making, and while i think for 3 seconds , tea, coffee, cold drink, he will say, do you want me to ask you an easier question - MEN !
> 
> Gill


Like 'Will you make me a drink please?'... :lol:


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## Chubster (Feb 14, 2011)

You can tell if she is the one by lighting her up with a death fart,her reaction will let you map out the next 20 yrs 

Reagrding me and wifey we have plenty of the general bickering,etc but she is now trained to only ask me to do something once.This way she knows it will eventually get done sometime in the future on my terms.
If she asks more than once then a decade gets added on for each additional request 
Can honestly say we have only had 2 or 3 major meltdowns in the 18 yrs we have been together,1 was when i peed all over her bag,clothes,etc when I came home drunk from a night out \o/
Easiest way is to just repeat the following sentence "yes dear of course dear" until she goes quiet 
And whenever they want to buy something just say "go ahead lifes too short",we have never told each other that we cant have something,hence I drive a TT now


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## seasurfer (Apr 10, 2009)

Trained


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## Charlie (Dec 15, 2006)

seasurfer said:


> Congrats to you Charlie for the big day.
> 
> I beg to differ with you saying that you cannot be with someone and not argue
> 
> Gill


Thanks Gill, I can't wait, it is close enough now to be exciting, I expect the nerves will kick in nearer the time 

REALLY?, when I say argue I don't mean potentially relationship ending stuff, more bickering 

Charlie


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## seasurfer (Apr 10, 2009)

Oh i see, we do that everyday, its called having a sense of humour 

TT51, you must live in a pretty quiet house then 

Gill


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## Smeds (Oct 28, 2009)

seasurfer said:


> Well, just thought of something he gets at me with, he will ask if i would like a drink making, and while i think for 3 seconds , tea, coffee, cold drink, he will say, do you want me to ask you an easier question - MEN !
> 
> Gill


I do that, but I tell her it's not a trick question.


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## Smeds (Oct 28, 2009)

One great thing about her, she just doesn't hold a grudge. I expect her to be pissed at me for ages but it lasts about 2 minutes.


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## A3DFU (May 7, 2002)

Phew!!!!

When I read about all this bickering, I told you - no, you didn't etc I am soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo glad to be on my own!! 
[smiley=mexicanwave.gif] [smiley=mexicanwave.gif] [smiley=mexicanwave.gif] [smiley=smash.gif] [smiley=thumbsup.gif]   8)


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