# Evil cat's doings!



## John-H (Jul 13, 2005)

Mowing the garden grass today, a task I find a chore at the best of times, I was somewhat dismayed to discover that after a seemingly successful period of hazard free mowing this year, the local feline population, who have obviously been constipated for months since the last sprinkling of expensive repellent and who obviously don't use their owner's own toilet facilities have finally ventured forth in some sort of organised commando raid, laid mines and exploded over my lawn.

Five trips back and forth with precautionary rubber gloves and plastic bags, tearing at the grass whilst gagging and trying to hold my breath, in an effort to remove all trace, was only partly successful at eradicating the stomach churning putrid bowel content of Satan and all his minions, resulting in the necessity of further protection being required for subsequent mowing.

It shouldn't be necessary to adopt a bio hazard suit when gardening. Dog owners are required by law to clean up after their dogs foul the pavement but it seems to be perfectly acceptable for people to buy cats, load em up with offal and completely ignore the inconvenience to others caused by the consequences of their indulgence.

I once moaned to someone about this problem only to be told I had to befriend them  . I got my own back when they complained about slugs and having to spend a fortune on slug pellets, so I helpfully enquired - have you tried befriending them? :lol:

So, what practical suggestions does anyone have on how to eradicate this scourge?


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## Cloud (Sep 4, 2012)

A big dog? Mine chases any cat that comes in the garden even though we have a cat of our own.

Mind you, if you get a big dog, that can be a whole new problem being deposited in the grass if you haven't noticed where it's been!! :lol:


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## John-H (Jul 13, 2005)

Some sort or dog model - would that fool them? I've seen cat cut outs with reflective eyes - do they work? I was thinking of some sort of IR sensor triggered automatic water pistol but it sounds tricky to make. Preferably a low maintenance one off purchase solution.


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## Cloud (Sep 4, 2012)

I hate to say it but befriending does actually work. A stray cat has been 'adopting' us for a while now and it jumps over a neighbour's garden fence to use her facilities (lovely golden gravel, or cat litter as he sees it). The only downside is that it's costing us a fortune in cat food for a moggy that isn't even ours!

There are devices that repel rodents that emit a high pitched noise that they don't like, but humans can't hear. Perhaps there is a cat version, like those mosquito anti loitering devices that can be used outside shops to stop unwanted youths gathering.


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## John-H (Jul 13, 2005)

Solar powered screaming device .... hmmm ... that's a thought :twisted:


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## A3DFU (May 7, 2002)

John-H said:


> So, what practical suggestions does anyone have on how to eradicate this scourge?


Get a life! Cats' poo doesn't smell and I'm sure it doesn't need full body armour to remove their doing :roll:

Ps; cut your grass more often: it's far too long. If the grass is short (as it should be) cats' doings will dry nicely and is no problem to remove 8)


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## A3DFU (May 7, 2002)

Cloud said:


> A big dog?


Ha. My 'time-share' dog (my son's staffie) shares her bed with the cat :lol:


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## John-H (Jul 13, 2005)

A3DFU said:


> Get a life! Cats' poo doesn't smell and I'm sure it doesn't need full body armour to remove their doing :roll:


I'll bring some round for your garden. Of course it smells it's putrified half digested offal :roll:



A3DFU said:


> Ps; cut your grass more often: it's far too long. If the grass is short (as it should be) cats' doings will dry nicely and is no problem to remove 8)


I have a job for you 

I found this:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Scarer-Adjustab ... B00A2RPZQK










£16.50 with PIR detector, strobe light and ultrasonic 15kHz to 23.5kHz and solar powered! Trouble is the reviews are a bit mixed. Some say it works and some it doesn't. One says it works on grandchildren :roll:


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## John-H (Jul 13, 2005)

Ha! This solar powered one seems better reviewed and it's cheaper at £13.50 delivered with rechargeable batteries included:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Pestbye-Powered ... 96-3826053


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## brian1978 (Jul 10, 2013)

The ultra sound thing will work....for about a week, contrary to what people say it doesn't hurt their ears it's just an unusual noise to them, they get used to it soon enough. As for suggesting cleaning up after the dog is similar to the cat lol, I just had a vision of "Auld lizzie, fae up the street" hurdeling the neighbours hedges trying to keep up with smudge to clean the crap up 

Getting a dog to chase cats is a really bad idea, if the dog corners the cat, only one animal is going to win that one, dogs have teeth in their mouth, cats have teeth in the mouth plus 10 other razor sharp "teeth" on their paws and are about 10x times quicker than a dog to use them, if you like your dog to have eyes I'd not let them chase cats.

And do get to know cats, they infect you with the toxoplasmi parasite, it infects your brain and controls your mind to MAKE you like them, it's an evolutionary advantage they have, normaly infects local prey animals like rats ans mice, they lose the fear of cats and get eaten. Don't believe me?

http://news.nationalgeographic.co.uk/ne ... s-science/

:wink:


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## John-H (Jul 13, 2005)

Yes, I remember hearing that 40% of the human population of Britain had benign cysts in their brains from that parasite.


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## phodge (Sep 1, 2002)

Get a cat.

We have two and we never have cat poo in our garden.


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## brian1978 (Jul 10, 2013)

John-H said:


> Yes, I remember hearing that 40% of the human population of Britain had benign cysts in their brains from that parasite.


I was always a dog person, I used to dislike cats.... my wife got 2 cats and after about 6 months I was inexplicably fond of them :?


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## A3DFU (May 7, 2002)

phodge said:


> Get a cat.
> 
> We have two and we never have cat poo in our garden.


 [smiley=thumbsup.gif]


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## YoungOldUn (Apr 12, 2011)

We kept cats for over 30 years, the last one Daisy died a couple of years ago and the house seemed to be 'empty'. We never had any poo in our garden however 6 months ago we bought a puppy and although he is a great companion, we now have poo in our garden as well as a lot of 'burnt' grass! I take him for walks every day but he still manages to produce a 'commando poo' regularly (An artfully camouflaged poo where it is not seen until almost too late).


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## John-H (Jul 13, 2005)

brian1978 said:


> ...And do get to know cats, they infect you with the toxoplasmi parasite, it infects your brain and controls your mind to MAKE you like them, it's an evolutionary advantage they have, normaly infects local prey animals like rats ans mice, they lose the fear of cats and get eaten. Don't believe me?
> 
> http://news.nationalgeographic.co.uk/ne ... s-science/
> 
> :wink:


That's a very interesting article and as suggested could also be a cause of depression, anxiety and schizophrenia due to what they've recently discovered about the neuro-transmitter production in the hijacked white cells.

The original information I heard about Toxoplasma gondi was on a Radio 4 programme a few years ago. The modified rat behaviour, making rats, that had eaten cat droppings and become infected, lose fear of cats and behave erratically so making them more likely to be caught and eaten, so completing the cycle, was known and at that time they had discovered the benign cysts in human brains but thought that there was no behavioural changees in humans. They thought the parasite still found it's way to the brain but just formed a benign cyst and was a dead end for the life cycle - although in some cases the cysts could grow and cause other problems. This new discovery is more of a concern.

The most interesting parasite on the BBC programme was a parasite that started in the slime trails of snails that had eaten sheep droppings. The slime trail would get eaten by an ant. The parasite would then become active and migrate to the ant's brain where it would make the ant attracted to light and climb up a stem of grass where it would then make the ant clamp it's mandibles to the top of the grass stem and become paralysed and die. Then a sheep would come along and eat the grass and swallow the ant. The parasite would then develop in the sheep's stomach before producing the next form which passes out with the droppings ready for the snails.

Evolution can be very clever. I'd rather not be host to a parasite even if not part of the cycle.


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

Air rifle john.....cats are classed as pests.


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## brian1978 (Jul 10, 2013)

Gazzer said:


> Air rifle john.....cats are classed as pests.


Poor cats 

It's not even funny joking about it, my wife's aunts cat got shot in the head by some sick little cowardly c**t. Poor thing suffered badly before it eventually had to put it to sleep.


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## oldhipp (Feb 7, 2009)

phodge said:


> Get a cat.
> 
> We have two and we never have cat poo in our garden.


Typical answer from a cat owner.So its ok for them to crap in someone elses garden,charming.
As for keeping cats out of your garden buy a dog its the only thing that works.


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## brian1978 (Jul 10, 2013)

oldhipp said:


> phodge said:
> 
> 
> > Get a cat.
> ...


I have a dog, and 2 cats it doesn't stop them, other cats that is. unless you buy a dog and keep it in the garden 24/7, and that would just be cruel.


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## oldhipp (Feb 7, 2009)

brian1978 said:


> oldhipp said:
> 
> 
> > phodge said:
> ...


I bought a Border terrier 3 months ago and have not seen a cat since,maybe coincidence?


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## A3DFU (May 7, 2002)

brian1978 said:


> Getting a dog to chase cats is a really bad idea, if the dog corners the cat, only one animal is going to win that one, dogs have teeth in their mouth, cats have teeth in the mouth plus 10 other razor sharp "teeth" on their paws and are about 10x times quicker than a dog to use them, if you like your dog to have eyes I'd not let them chase cats.
> 
> And do get to know cats, they infect you with the toxoplasmi parasite,


My dog happily shares her accommodation with the cat and she knows not to chase other animals; a matter of training.
As for toxoplasmosis; you also get it from birds. But you wouldn't remove doodahs with bare hand and then lick your fingers,,,

I had animals all my life and never had a problem


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## brian1978 (Jul 10, 2013)

oldhipp said:


> brian1978 said:
> 
> 
> > oldhipp said:
> ...


I bought a Border terrier 3 months ago and have not seen a cat since,maybe coincidence?[/quote]

Just 3 months though. The local feline population need to learn the times that the dog isn't out, early hours of the morning for e.g. cats are pretty intelligent animals, they will learn :wink:


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## oldhipp (Feb 7, 2009)

To be honest this house never really had a cat problem,unlike my previous house.Several cats used my gardens as the local toilet and no attempt to deter them worked.What really pissed me off was when next doors cats crapped everywhere their owners complained ,when said craps were returned to their own gardens. [smiley=bigcry.gif]


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## Cloud (Sep 4, 2012)

A3DFU said:


> As for toxoplasmosis; you also get it from birds. But you wouldn't remove doodahs with bare hand and then lick your fingers,,,
> 
> I had animals all my life and never had a problem


+1

With all the nasty diseases spread by human beings, I'd rather take my chances with the animals!


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## John-H (Jul 13, 2005)

Cloud said:


> A3DFU said:
> 
> 
> > As for toxoplasmosis; you also get it from birds. But you wouldn't remove doodahs with bare hand and then lick your fingers,,,
> ...


It depends how close you get. At least humans don't crap in my garden forcing me to come a lot closer and interact with the unsavoury end of a relationship I have not chosen. Usually my interaction with humans is far more civilised.



oldhipp said:


> To be honest this house never really had a cat problem,unlike my previous house.Several cats used my gardens as the local toilet and no attempt to deter them worked.What really pissed me off was when next doors cats crapped everywhere their owners complained ,when said craps were returned to their own gardens. [smiley=bigcry.gif]


Logically and legally that makes complete sense. The property (excrement) belongs to your neighbour and is not yours to dispose of it seems to me, so should be returned to them. It's like when you cut off your neighbour's overhanging branches - you should return them over the fence otherwise it's theft. One difficulty might be identification of owner.

The attitude that it doesn't concern them, like the offending "property", stinks! Your neighbour knows full well that their offal processor's output will end up somewhere. It's only like someone casually dropping litter without a thought for others. Isn't it funny that when you hand back litter to a litterer they suddenly think you are wrong to confront them over their lack of consideration. :roll:


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## Skeee (Jun 9, 2009)

Cloud said:


> .............With all the nasty diseases spread by human beings, I'd rather take my chances with the animals!














John-H said:


> It depends how close you get. At least humans don't crap in my garden forcing me to come a lot closer and interact with the *unsavoury end* of a relationship I have not chosen. *Usually *my interaction with humans is far more civilised.


  :lol: :lol:


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## mullum (Sep 16, 2011)

You can get repellent from the pound shop.
And slug/snail pellets.


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## SalsredTT (Jan 8, 2011)

Countryfile are doing an article on sodding cats right now - try iplayer to watch! Few serious deterrents on there.


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## A3DFU (May 7, 2002)

brian1978 said:


> Gazzer said:
> 
> 
> > Air rifle john.....cats are classed as pests.
> ...


I fully agree with you Brian!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As for (hopefullly) eliminating cats and their doodahs from your garden, I had success with pepper dust from the garden centre. I sprinkled it where I didn't want my (and other) cats to go so they used a dug over patch in my back garden instead.

I do get dog and cat owners these days that let they animals do the dos in my front garden but then I just remove it if/when necessary


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## Skeee (Jun 9, 2009)

SalsredTT said:


> Countryfile are doing an article on sodding cats right now - try iplayer to watch! Few serious deterrents on there.


 They went on about statistics etc rather than just state that cats that are let outside should be fitted with a bell. :roll:


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## SalsredTT (Jan 8, 2011)

Skeee said:


> SalsredTT said:
> 
> 
> > Countryfile are doing an article on sodding cats right now - try iplayer to watch! Few serious deterrents on there.
> ...


You are of course, right! I half watched it whilst cooking dinner, then went back and watched it properly as I have a similar problem (ruddy cats) We have tried garlic, liion dung, all sorts - now find a big black (panther) cat does the job and he only costs a couple of cans of cat food a day!


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## A3DFU (May 7, 2002)

SalsredTT said:


> a big black (panther) cat does the job


There is apparently one roaming around in the Pennines near me :roll:


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## John-H (Jul 13, 2005)

I found this for £20 on eBay. The video is of a more expensive make but similar.













http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/ANIMAL-JET-SP ... 1986wt_859

It's a PIR triggered water jet and apparently very effective and endorsed by the RSPB - mind you they probably hate cats :lol: 
The only trouble with it is it needs a garden hose permanently attached to provide pressurised water. Apparently the cats recognise it and learn not to come near so potentially you could remove the water supply after a bit. Seems a bit of a faff though. Surely you'd only need a small amount of water and a pump. I wonder if I could make one out of an old PIR alarm sensor and an alien from a TT with the high pressure pump :lol:


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## John-H (Jul 13, 2005)

:lol: Here's someone who made his own DIY version.This one is quite entertaining with some good deterrent value and video action :lol:


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## jamman (May 6, 2002)

Fantastic video :lol:


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## OeTT (Nov 10, 2007)

John-H said:


> I found this for £20 on eBay. The video is of a more expensive make but similar.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I had one of those. It took next door's cat a couple of days to work out how to trigger it, keep just out of range and then leg it on to my soft-top while the system re-armed itself. Neighbours kids couldn't suss it and got sprayed every morning


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## Skeee (Jun 9, 2009)

Awww!
"Blacky Mc Laser Eyes" is cute. 


Great vid. Love the grinding. :roll:


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## brian1978 (Jul 10, 2013)

OeTT said:


> John-H said:
> 
> 
> > I found this for £20 on eBay. The video is of a more expensive make but similar.
> ...


This, cats will come in and take a shit, other than building a 10ft high glass wall, your pretty much going to have to put up with them :mrgreen:


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## A3DFU (May 7, 2002)

I love cats (and dogs -- and all animals) but why do they need to use my freshly seeded area, covered with garden compost, as they litter tray? Do they really think the new lawn will grow evenly?
[going to collect the cat's doing re-rake it]


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## brian1978 (Jul 10, 2013)

A3DFU said:


> I love cats (and dogs -- and all animals) but why do they need to use my freshly seeded area, covered with garden compost, as they litter tray? Do they really think the new lawn will grow evenly?
> [going to collect the cat's doing re-rake it]


I couldn't believe what I saw once, the cat that did the toilet dug a hole and buried it


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## John-H (Jul 13, 2005)

A3DFU said:


> I love cats (and dogs -- and all animals) but why do they need to use my freshly seeded area, covered with garden compost, as they litter tray? Do they really think the new lawn will grow evenly?
> [going to collect the cat's doing re-rake it]


I saved some for you :lol: No, keep karma, I was only joking it was the cat :lol:


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## A3DFU (May 7, 2002)

brian1978 said:


> A3DFU said:
> 
> 
> > I love cats (and dogs -- and all animals) but why do they need to use my freshly seeded area, covered with garden compost, as they litter tray? Do they really think the new lawn will grow evenly?
> ...


Our cats used to do that [in our own back garden]



John-H said:


> A3DFU said:
> 
> 
> > I love cats (and dogs -- and all animals) but why do they need to use my freshly seeded area, covered with garden compost, as they litter tray? Do they really think the new lawn will grow evenly?
> ...


I knew you'd love me mentioning my neighbours cat(s) being naughty on my freshly seeded lawn :roll:


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## brian1978 (Jul 10, 2013)

A3DFU said:


> brian1978 said:
> 
> 
> > A3DFU said:
> ...


NOT WITH A SPADE THEY DONT

He shoots, he scores! with the oldest cat joke ever  :lol: :lol: :lol:


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## A3DFU (May 7, 2002)

brian1978 said:


> A3DFU said:
> 
> 
> > brian1978 said:
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Errrr, no they didn't :roll:


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## John-H (Jul 13, 2005)

I thought only dogs got spade :-?


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## brian1978 (Jul 10, 2013)

John-H said:


> I thought only dogs got spade :-?


Oh dear. :-|


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## A3DFU (May 7, 2002)

John-H said:


> I thought only dogs got spade :-?












You obviously never owned a cat :roll:


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## A3DFU (May 7, 2002)

John-H said:


> I thought only dogs got spade :-?












You obviously never owned a cat :roll:


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## John-H (Jul 13, 2005)

Sorry it's spelt "spayed". An ovary bad joke on my part.


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## A3DFU (May 7, 2002)

John-H said:


> An ovary bad joke on my part.


It is


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## brian1978 (Jul 10, 2013)




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## Skeee (Jun 9, 2009)

You need to watch this to the end Brian!


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## brian1978 (Jul 10, 2013)

Skeee said:


> You need to watch this to the end Brian!


 :lol:


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