# The ned, the Police, ned's dad and his wife



## Rogue (Jun 15, 2003)

So, itâ€™s happened again.
Last night, I went out to walk the dog and post some letters, and on my way back home I saw two wee neds hanging around my drive.
As I got nearer, they went to go down the drive, but at that moment my next door neighbour came out with her dog (itâ€™s a shared drive), and the boys started asking her questions about the dog.
I thought they looked suspicious, so when I went in the house, I went upstairs to the landing and watched them through the landing window.
When my neighbour left, the neds sat on the pavement, looking around them and pointing down at the car.
After a few minutes, they made their move and ran down the side of my neighbours house, and went in between the cars to get the dust-caps off.
So, I bolted downstairs and went out the front door and cornered them.
One of them got away, the second one tried to make a run for it, but my other neighbour had been out fixing his van, saw what was happening, and helped me catch the little bastard.
I grabbed hold of his sleeve (didnâ€™t want to grab his arm and leave a mark) and marched him back to my driveway.
The g/f phoned the Police, who arrived about 10 minutes later.
Whilst waiting for the Police, I asked the wee fanny why he was trying to steal dust-caps from the car, and he said â€œI was just looking at the carâ€.
I explained to him that this was private property, and that he had no right being down my drive without my permission, but he couldnâ€™t understand this and insisted he was â€œjist lookinâ€™ at the nice carâ€. I asked him his age (11) and where he lived, but he wouldnâ€™t tell me.
I told him he was a silly wee bastard and he said â€œI can get you charged for swearing at meâ€!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
When I pointed out to him that my car actually had black plastic dustcaps and not metal ones, he replied â€œIâ€™ve taken black plastics ones beforeâ€!!!!
The police arrived, and the younger officer told me heâ€™d lifted this boy before.
So, allâ€™s well that ends well?
Well, not quite.........
About 15 minutes later, the door-bell goes, and hereâ€™s the boy back with his Dad.
Now, the thing about going to someoneâ€™s house is that you donâ€™t know what to expect (i.e. a Cavey size man eating spinach or a wee skinny guy) so when I answered the door I could see him right away thinking â€œOopsâ€, but he tried to put on a bit of a show for his kid.
He told me the ned had said Iâ€™d grabbed his arms and had hurt him, (obviously trying to get sympathy from the Dad).
I asked him why his son had been down my driveway, and he said â€œHe can go down and look at your car if he wantsâ€.
At this point, the g/f started shouting at the Dad, who pointed his finger and raised his voice at the g/f.
I grabbed his hand and pushed him into my garden and told him if he did that again he was a dead man.
He said â€œYou should have just brought my son round to the house instead of phoning the Police, and I explained to him that his son wouldnâ€™t tell me his address.
2 minutes later, he said exactly the same thing.
Then he said, â€œNext time, *Iâ€™ll* bring my son down your drive to look at your carâ€, so I told him if he tried that heâ€™d be spark out before he put a foot down.

Then, he goes away with his son, shouting that weâ€™d better not touch his son again, so I went nuts and told him I was going to punch his cunt in, or something equally as pleasant, but he just walked away.
Here I am, the victim of a crime, and if I lose it, *Iâ€™m* the one whoâ€™ll be spending the night in the cell. 

So, thatâ€™s it all finished then?
Well, no........

10 minutes later, the bell goes again. Iâ€™m on the phone to the Police telling them I want it logged that he came to my door being abusive and threatening (just in-case there was anything done to the car that night) so I tell the police operator to send a car around as Iâ€™ve had enough.
This time, itâ€™s the dad and his wife.
The wife wants to know why my g/f slagged off her family (when he was walking away, Paula shouted to him â€œsome example you are for your child) which he has then obviously twisted into a slander of him and his wife when relaying the tale.
The guy was reeking of ****, and I asked him if heâ€™d been drinking, to which he replied he had.
Thankfully, his wife was sober and seemed normal by comparison to him, and she seemed genuinely embarrassed.


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## Rogue (Jun 15, 2003)

I told her I donâ€™t want to see her laddie hanging around outside my house anymore, and the Dad eventually apologised.
I told him to come round when he was sober if he wanted to, but heâ€™d better bring some friends.
I was so fucking angry!!!!!!!
Even the Dad couldnâ€™t understand the concept of it being MY drive and MY property.
When I asked him how he would feel if I came and stood down his drive looking at his car, he just mumbled.
I also told him that if there were any scratches etc. on my car then HE would be paying for them, and he replied â€œMy laddie wouldnâ€™t do thatâ€.
No, of course he wouldnâ€™t, heâ€™s only 11 and has been taken home by the Police twice, and has a drunk wanker for a role model. 

So, now Iâ€™m going to get the old man to put a security light on top of the garage, Iâ€™m going to buy a web-cam and put an old PC in the garage running surveillance software, and the car is going to have to be put into the garage every night without fail (which is a hassle, I shouldnâ€™t *have* to put the car in the garage).

And what did the Police do about the ned?
Absolutely nothing, because they canâ€™t.
These little bastards need to be kicked into touch.

Neds. The new AIDS.

Rogue


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## saint (Dec 6, 2002)

ERm...... time to move out of the 'ploch I think m8y. 
I hate dumb fuck parents and their equally dumb kids - bloody 60s 70s baby boom - 
Working for SC as you know - we get to see allsorts - but more often than not its the fuckers you have just described.
BRING BACK THE QUEENS ENGLISH AND THE BELT IN SCHOOLS.


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## saint (Dec 6, 2002)

Oh and get on with some work instead of hanging around here.

And before you ask - its my weekend off ;D


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## Kell (May 28, 2002)

I was talking to a mate of mine a little while ago who said a friend of his had been driving along when some little scrote lobs a half-brick at his car.

He slams on the anchors, gets out and manages to catch him.

Marches him to his parents house and the father apologises profusely offering to pay for the damge and thoroughly repremands his kid.

All sorted?

No?

The guy gets a call from the coppers who are going to prosecute him.

Ah - the father changed his mind?

No - the kid is taking the guy to court with the full backing of the police because he was a little bit rough when he grabbed him.

The world's fucked mate - I can only sympathise with your case.


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## Rogue (Jun 15, 2003)

The world is indeed fucked.

Oh, and SainTT, [email protected] the 'Ploch ;D

Ya cheeky wee ned 

Rogue


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## saint (Dec 6, 2002)

Sorry - I meant Plean ;D


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## garyc (May 7, 2002)

Oops I clouted one who i caught outside knicking my alloy caps. No come back though, so I guess I was lucky. Took his photo and old him he was going up on the web as a villan and that it would ruin his life. Burst into tears. Him not me.  Made a complaint to cover myself.

Little shits. Anyone care to revive thread 'Ugly Scumbags should not be allowed to Breed.' Not Right Wing or anything


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## W7 PMC (May 6, 2002)

What's a Ned? ;D


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## NickP (May 6, 2002)

Someone who lives next to Homer


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## W7 PMC (May 6, 2002)

> Someone who lives next to Homer Â


But he's a good honest church going kind of sad fuck, not a dust cap stealing, bear swilling Homer ;D


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## Rogue (Jun 15, 2003)

Ned = Scallie = Wee tearaway bastards


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## BreTT (Oct 30, 2002)

> What's a Ned? ;D


Non-Educated Delinquent.....the very guys that are living next to Rogue on the Ploch....do you need to know where that is too?


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## mighTy Tee (Jul 10, 2002)

> Iâ€™m going to buy a web-cam and put an old PC in the garage running surveillance software,


Rogue - you might be interested in the software from the following link (Wak put me on this earlier this week) and at $25 excellent value
http//www.homewatcher.com


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## kingcutter (Aug 1, 2003)

thing is this happens all the time and they really are cheeky little twats,i had one who said he was going to get his dad,because i threatened to deck him,i said get your fucking dad i will deck him to and his dad,twats


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## garyc (May 7, 2002)

> thing is this happens all the time and they really are cheeky little twats,i had one who said he was going to get his dad,because i threatened to deck him,i said get your fucking dad i will deck him to and his dad,twats


That's the spirit! Tell his Dad to bring his mates too. 

...and let us know how it goes - or will it be in the tabloids?


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## Rogue (Jun 15, 2003)

> Rogue - you might be interested in the software from the following link (Wak put me on this earlier this week) and at $25 excellent value
> http//www.homewatcher.com


Cheers mate.
That was the one I intended on using, after seeing how successful it was for Wak. 8)

Rogue


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## Lisa. (May 7, 2002)

> Neds. Â The new AIDS.


Does that mean you can catch them from coffee cups and toilet seats.........or am I being ignorant? Â :-/


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## saint (Dec 6, 2002)

> Does that mean you can catch them from coffee cups and toilet seats.........or am I being ignorant?


Yup - you can catch them on quality TV programs like Trisha and Jerry Springer - Also to be found lurking on street corners drinking Special Brew and Buckie. Some can also be seen driving Astras, Micras & Saxos wearing Burberry caps etc.


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## Rogue (Jun 15, 2003)

> Does that mean you can catch them from coffee cups and toilet seats.........or am I being ignorant? Â :-/


Lol, I think Sa|nTT explained it well.
What I meant by my AIDS comment was that these young scallies are an epidemic which is causing havoc in Britain.
Last night, I was on the phone to my wee sister (who lives in Edinburgh) and she had to run outside to try and put out her garden hedge which some wee [email protected] had set on fire 

Rogue


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## andytt (Sep 25, 2002)

> I was talking to a mate of mine a little while ago who said a friend of his had been driving along when some little scrote lobs a half-brick at his car.
> 
> He slams on the anchors, gets out and manages to catch him.
> 
> ...


Get on teh phone to the Sun or somethin, make it public and get osme backing. Thats shocking - neds abusing the system...


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## kingcutter (Aug 1, 2003)

> Lol, I think Sa|nTT explained it well.
> What I meant by my AIDS comment was that these young scallies are an epidemic which is causing havoc in Britain.
> Last night, I was on the phone to my wee sister (who lives in Edinburgh) and she had to run outside to try and put out her garden hedge which some wee [email protected] had set on fire Â
> 
> Rogue


i new a girl with a red hot bush


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## Kell (May 28, 2002)

I knew a hot girl with a red bush.

Several actually. [smiley=devil.gif] [smiley=devil.gif]


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