# CATS



## ViperOneZero (Sep 4, 2008)

Planted lots of bulbs in my garden, only to find my flower beds complete ruined, bulbs eveywhere, plants wrecked... saw the culprit sprinting off.. a local cat.. the same cat that scratched my black roof on my TT to the primer.

Imthinking of humanely catching the cat and tie wrapping a note on it... to the owner with a bill...

its costing me a fortune the fucking rogue, scaring the birds away from the feeders i placed out.


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## YELLOW_TT (Feb 25, 2004)

I hate cats for those exact reasons :evil:


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## ScoobyTT (Aug 24, 2009)

Pets are a total waste of space, and generally a pain in the arse for everyone else!


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## kite (Sep 3, 2006)

I have a local cat that is causing all sorts of havoc in my garden, fucking thing...
Just waiting for my catapult to come from Ebay....


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## SalsredTT (Jan 8, 2011)

Hide in the corner of the garden with a fully ready hosepipe. 
Wait for cat ............ and wait ............. and wait ............

Cat shows face ............ let off hosepipe at full belt!!

Unlikely to see horrid thing again.

I'm not a cat fan - much much prefer dogs but this is a humane way to scare the dratted things away. The other thing is Lion Dung - most garden centres sell it in a pellet form - cat hates it - it belongs to a much bigger cat!! Also they loath garlic.


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## Guest (May 4, 2011)

My mum surrounds the plants with thorny twigs n stuff.

Or just shoot them.


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## jamman (May 6, 2002)

I love pussy


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## YELLOW_TT (Feb 25, 2004)

jamman said:


> I love pussy


Not the samething mate


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

my own cats have kiled a new rose budh i planted with piss and sheite........hose? they laugh at that sal its a game to the buggers. so now i spit in there food to get me own back. dont tell mrs or daughter shhhhhh


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## YELLOW_TT (Feb 25, 2004)

gazzer1964 said:


> so now i spit in there food to get me own back. dont tell mrs or daughter shhhhhh


 :lol: :lol:


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## jamman (May 6, 2002)

gazzer1964 said:


> so now i spit in there food to get me own back. dont tell mrs or daughter shhhhhh


I like that twisted thinking


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## SalsredTT (Jan 8, 2011)

OMG!!!!!!

*falls off settee laughing*


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

jamman said:


> gazzer1964 said:
> 
> 
> > so now i spit in there food to get me own back. dont tell mrs or daughter shhhhhh
> ...


fuck the twisted thinking.........mrs & dauther love them hairy bastards!!! they have completely ruined stair carpet as a scratching post and now my garden??? my only refuge away from work apart from the scratched TT from mrs firkin bin bags.
waiting for them to die to be honest, suppose and mrs so i can have total peace


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## richieshore (May 17, 2010)

Set up a trap with some cat food and a box, then all you need is a sandbag, a brick and a river. Sorted.


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

richieshore said:


> Set up a trap with some cat food and a box, then all you need is a sandbag, a brick and a river. Sorted.


duh, mrs and daughter loves them, hence always around with dumb sayings for cats names. oh yes i'll set up a box and catch them, ever tried holding a cat tight that didnt want to be held? thought not...........them claws are based on WMD to humans, even tried welders gauntlets to get them in plastic cat thingy for vets......straight through. will pay ya juice and a tenner fr ya trub, you do it lol


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## TheMetalMan0 (Jun 30, 2009)

gazzer1964 said:


> so now i spit in there food to get me own back. dont tell mrs or daughter shhhhhh


Best. Post. Ever! Ha!!


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

TheMetalMan0 said:


> gazzer1964 said:
> 
> 
> > so now i spit in there food to get me own back. dont tell mrs or daughter shhhhhh
> ...


taste of red wine must appeal to em i guess lol..........little sods are thriving on it. oh god drunk cats, no wonder killin me roses


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## techfreak (Aug 13, 2010)

I almost spat my dinner out at that gaz truly lol

My mrs loves cats too...and luckily i talkedher into leaving her 2 at her mums when we moved out last year... I purposely chose a house near a main road to scare her into doing that *ssshhhh*

There are however alot of neighbouring cats that now have a 2nd home here due to her being a foster mummy feeding em treats - i swear they piss on the tt to leave scent marks!

Normally i dont mind em but i swear one of hers considers me an alpha male rival or can remember its rough house playfull upbringing i gave him -to date he's jumped in my dinner, jumped on my head scratching my ear to bleed whilst i slept(at her mums) various other scratches that are always worse on me than anyone else & climbed in/on my tt and is always knocking around/under it when we're down there - i hold him responsible for my failed haldex!


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

techfreak said:


> I almost spat my dinner out at that gaz truly lol
> 
> My mrs loves cats too...and luckily i talkedher into leaving her 2 at her mums when we moved out last year... I purposely chose a house near a main road to scare her into doing that *ssshhhh*
> 
> ...


sozzz about nearly spitting ya dinner bud (depends how good a cook ya mrs is mind lol) messin with ya tt deserves harsh treatment m8!! i mean rose bush is one thing the TT is GOD and a completely diffrent ball game i think.
plan 1.
every time it or they go near the TT then foot ender cats arse and flip the bugger.........keep doing it and will learn that to go near will cause me to go upside down while swishing my tail in anger. (swish it you clunt were on to ya)

plan 2.
buy some cat treats.........no not standard biscuits but treats!!! they firkin love em. entice cat into car with them and once in,,,,,,dont be tight now put at least 20 in footwell to get the scabby git in. then slowly close door and get in your side. drive at least 10 miles away and let it out. HA HA HA go mess up someone elses life hairy scum bag!!! oh and dont let inlaws or neighbours see you dohhhhh recall old fat tart with wheelie bin?? good luck be strong....i'll keep spitting as outnumbered here


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## Tangerine Knight (Jul 25, 2010)

apparantly there are 2 million cats in the uk but 4 million people claim they own one they are disloyal horrible vermin

they wrecked the roof on my boxster and when i spoke to neighbour she said how do you know it was mine ?

it was the big fucking hairy white one running at full speed followed by a brick

anyway decided im going to have a shit in there garden one night cos im sick of there cat shitting in mine [you cannot dna pooh] so i will deny it


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## Rob Severn (Apr 30, 2011)

Love em, got 6 all from rescue centres and a kitten turning up in a few weeks. Ours have never pissed or shat in the house or done that much to give me cause for complaint, apart from dropping a very alive very belligerent mole in the bed at 4am. 
Cats are like kids, a little cruelty goes a long way, teach them young.


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

Rob Severn said:


> Love em, got 6 all from rescue centres and a kitten turning up in a few weeks. Ours have never pissed or shat in the house or done that much to give me cause for complaint, apart from dropping a very alive very belligerent mole in the bed at 4am.
> Cats are like kids, a little cruelty goes a long way, teach them young.


double strength welding gauntlets, full face visor and large water butt........problem solved


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## garyv6 (Jul 24, 2010)

Title says it all really i have the solution my mate is a grade A thug the full nine yards Hardcore body builder drives an M3 Stone Island foul temper thinks everything can be sorted with violence a lump hammer & a welder.

He owns an Irish bull terrier it pisses all over a staffie's

I hadn't heard of an Irish bull terrier until i saw him a lot bigger a lot more muscle than a staffie in a big way.

I am not sure looking at said dog if he has been on same growth hormone as my mate

They are mean as fuck in fact a fellow mate of ours who is also a bodybuilder/doorman & resident hard nut has a bull mastiff & he was warned not to bring bull mastiif near the dog he didnt listen & when his dog was within striking distance mastiff had a do at mates dog & got well & truly twatted.

This beast of his has a cock a mile long & balls that are massive it is fucking hard to say the least he is also as thick as fuck (the dog in question) although it is a perfect deterrent sat in M3 cabrio no-one ever goes near the car.

Finally we may have found his true calling he can be hired to shift nuisances as in your cats

Here is a list though that might make you think twice of pitfalls of hiring
Thick as fuck, the food bills are off the rictor scale, he doesn't undrstand the word no in fact doesn't understand much really & will shag anyones leg, Mrs or anything else with a pulse or even something that is still warm.

Anyway thats enough about my mate :lol: seriously the dog is like this & when was typing suddenly realised so is my mate.

If you want to come & collect him no probs as a rest from him would be very much appreciated.

I sometimes look after him at weekends (dog that is) we are in preston & would suggest you bring a big crate plenty of sedatives a suit of armour & something to shag for the journey back to wherever you are going no deposit required in fact just drop him off when you are done/bored as you will soon get fed up of arguing with all & sundry that your dog is mental a cat is no trouble at all to him, in fact he could probably quite easily get rid of your neighbours at the same time

He is called Zeus


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

great post, however i am thinking that may be a bit overkill on a cat problem lol. when i leave work today am going to go to B&Q and see if they have any lion shit (hope this isnt a firking wind up) get to b&q and laughed out the store would be a tad embarrasing.
back to the irish mutt.......saw a m8 once with a massive pitbull walking along with tons of people following him, he was in floods of tears. so i assumed as they are illegal dogs he was taking it to be put down, turns out his mrs had been savaged by the dog and it killed her. being a caring sort of guy asked if there was anything i could do to help, he said yeah get rid of this lot behind me they are trying to buy the dog ............BOOM BOOM oh ok it was an old joke i guess.


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## garyv6 (Jul 24, 2010)

Talking of sending people into stores for wrong stuff reminds me of a goodun#

We sent a mate in one time to a garden centre to ask about a plant for his mum for Mothers day as I said I had bought one from there last year my Mum loved it.

Told him to ask for 'Mary Jane' a big row ensued when he kicked off insisting that the place sold Mary Jane cos I had bought one from there last year.

If you don't know what this is then Lord knows where you have been


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

had to google that lol, never having anything to do with Jamaican herbals i guess i am naive.


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## garyv6 (Jul 24, 2010)

It can backfire wind ups we've all done the tartan paint one , glass hammer etc etc

Sent a new underling one time to get a battery for my solar powered calculator he went to Boots came back 1 hour later (boots was 5 mins away) with calculator in bits him & the assistant had took it apart to find out where the battery was.

Priceless

Same lad went on to be my assistant manager at the time when i worked in finance we were closing a big deal worth plenty in commission told him to keep quiet just smile & be polite as had nasty habit of blundering & was aware that male customer was..... lets just say not hetrosexual.

I went into salesman mode get them a steaming hot cup of coffee so they will be sat for a while whilst it cools & i waffle on with the deal.

I said can I get you a tea or coffee?

Yes please a coffee

How do you like it ?

Strong & black, no sugar

John the assistant blurts out 'Just like your men'

I could have battered him on the spot


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

ok............ back to cats, DO LOVE A NICE BIT OF PUSSY..........lowers tone once again


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## landwomble (Feb 9, 2011)

http://www.catdeterrentsforgardens.co.uk/procter-spray-away-cat-deterrents-for-gardens/


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

love the site womb, very informative i think.


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## ViperOneZero (Sep 4, 2008)

OK,
saw the offending cat today. I saw its route in to my garden.. It came with a ginger accomplice. The main offender reared up and curled one out in amongst my 3rd time laid flower bed. I went out and saw it bolt off in to its owners garden.

. grrr


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## garyv6 (Jul 24, 2010)

Zeus is still here...starting to look like a better deal all the time now isn't he ?


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## ViperOneZero (Sep 4, 2008)

absolutely :-D

my old dog was called Zeus.... its a sign


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

GunnerGibson said:


> OK,
> saw the offending cat today. I saw its route in to my garden.. It came with a ginger accomplice. The main offender reared up and curled one out in amongst my 3rd time laid flower bed. I went out and saw it bolt off in to its owners garden.
> 
> . grrr


with a ginger toooooooo (charlie hope you read this m8) no way bud!!!! bb-gun as low velocity and non lethal think you can fire them in garden without comebacks. if not..........(pm me & will drop something off that will do the job) aint a footing mongrel that eats lamp posts or anything else it fancies either lol


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## garyv6 (Jul 24, 2010)

Am i to take it that now that u have resorted to a BB gun gazzer you didn't make it to B&Q to, & i quote: see if they have any lion shit (hope this isnt a firking wind up).

Or was there an odd shortage at B&Q when you enquired ?

Perhaps if you contact head office they could order some in for you?

Simple way round it buy a small BB gun target put at the bottom of your garden to say you were aiming at that when ur trigger finger slipped & the cat got blasted.

Follow the link at the bottom he's sold 14 so clearly a few of them might be in a similar situation to you ?

£6.45p for a whole lot of fun at funtime planet (user name)

When you are done with it you could post to gunner or go halves on the purchase?

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/SMALL-ROUND-STICK ... 335eda41e9


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

garyv6 said:


> Am i to take it that now that u have resorted to a BB gun gazzer you didn't make it to B&Q to, & i quote: see if they have any lion shit (hope this isnt a firking wind up).
> 
> Or was there an odd shortage at B&Q when you enquired ?
> 
> ...


gary..........owning two companies i work seven days a week till l8 and unfortunately by the time i left and dropped into a customer with a small prob.........love her shes 86 and still walks her dogs twice aday. I WAS FOOTED lol. so no didnt get to b&q however did web search prior and found they dont sell it............wasted journey time saved along with buying stuff i dont want.
said BB gun as they are freely legal and easy to get my one isnt as it is over powered and loves magpies lol. regarding e-bay no disrespect but i buy from no one that i haven't chatted with on here or been able to check out personally to my satisfaction bud.


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## ViperOneZero (Sep 4, 2008)

LoL

http://menmedia.co.uk/rochdaleobserver/news/s/1314834_four_cats_die_after_their_food_is_poisoned


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## Tangerine Knight (Jul 25, 2010)

GunnerGibson said:


> LoL
> 
> http://menmedia.co.uk/rochdaleobserver/news/s/1314834_four_cats_die_after_their_food_is_poisoned


some of the lads at work got sent to a job where 3 cats were discovered with there heads cut off and thrown over a wall

this has caused a massive outrage in the public rag from cat lovers

not a lover of cats either but seems a bit extreme

as gazzer has said you need heavy duty welders gloves to go near them


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

blackpoolfc said:


> GunnerGibson said:
> 
> 
> > LoL
> ...


anf face mask lol.............


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## ViperOneZero (Sep 4, 2008)

blackpoolfc said:


> GunnerGibson said:
> 
> 
> > LoL
> ...


what job would involve turning up to that?


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

GunnerGibson said:


> blackpoolfc said:
> 
> 
> > GunnerGibson said:
> ...


pussy is alkways hard work guny ll


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## Dash (Oct 5, 2008)

Water is the best way to train cats. It's just the problem of catching them in the act.

My neighbour's cat is often nicking my cat's food, and I really don't want to spend £100 on a super-duper cat flap. So I have a spray of water to squirt him. Alas, I'm usually asleep before he appears.


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## burns (Jun 2, 2009)

I hate cats. They are just insolent.

The one next door to me is due a hiding. :evil:

Chap I met once told me he'd had enough of his neighbour's cat, so tempted it into his car boot, drove for 20 miles, then let it out on Saddleworth Moors. Don't know if it's true but I had to laugh.


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## Rob Severn (Apr 30, 2011)

burns said:


> I hate kids. They are just insolent.
> 
> The one next door to me is due a hiding. :evil:
> 
> Chap I met once told me he'd had enough of his neighbour's kid, so tempted it into his car boot, drove for 20 miles, then let it out on Saddleworth Moors. Don't know if it's true but I had to laugh.


There you go much better :wink:


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## ViperOneZero (Sep 4, 2008)

Burns,
somebody suggested that today.. haha

*MIA* ow


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## ScoobyTT (Aug 24, 2009)

It's a great idea, until it pisses in the boot.


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## burns (Jun 2, 2009)

Rob Severn said:


> burns said:
> 
> 
> > I hate kids. They are just insolent.
> ...


 :lol: Works for me! :lol:


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## NOCK (May 29, 2010)

Just to spice the thread up a little bit I'm going to announce that I used to HATE cats. Now I have three of them they've grown on me and I actually quite like them, they're cheeky and make me laugh:

















They never stand on my car and I think that it might be due to the ultrasonic alarm (as standard from VW to scare away rodents), I thought TT's would have a similar feature, but Foxes used to stand on top of our TT's all the time when we had them so I don't actually know?


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## techfreak (Aug 13, 2010)

Foxes???? WTF! Now cats i can handle as i haven't seen em climb the tt yet, but foxes? Now that's a new one! Never heard of that rodent alarm - but can't see it working on foxes.

To turn the tables abit, my mrs cat has been seen fighting and chasing the local foxes away from his patch ... So maybe they can be trained to overcome the tt and focus on more productive things?

As long as they stay away from my cravendale we're at a ceasefire.


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## oldhipp (Feb 7, 2009)

Rob Severn said:


> . Ours have never pissed or shat in the house or done that much to give me cause for complaint, they would nt,they will be shitting in somebody elses garden who does nt have a cat,thats why we hate them.


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

oldhipp said:


> Rob Severn said:
> 
> 
> > . Ours have never pissed or shat in the house or done that much to give me cause for complaint, they would nt,they will be shitting in somebody elses garden who does nt have a cat,thats why we hate them.


gotta be honest hippo.........i love seeing my cats sod off over someone elses garden for a dump...........thank god my roses get a reprieve for the night lol.


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## Rob Severn (Apr 30, 2011)

oldhipp said:


> Rob Severn said:
> 
> 
> > . Ours have never pissed or shat in the house or done that much to give me cause for complaint, they would nt,they will be shitting in somebody elses garden who does nt have a cat,thats why we hate them.


Be bloody amazed if they did, we're surrounded by fields and woodland and the nearest neighbour is about 1/2 a mile away. Hah.
Anyway the dogs eat quote a lot of the cat shit, saves us feeding them I suppose.

Mind you we had to have the side of the A6 resprayed last year and all the trim replaced because of wild boar scratching themselves on it, the bastards.


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## YoungOldUn (Apr 12, 2011)

Wild boar! Where on earth do you live?


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## ViperOneZero (Sep 4, 2008)

YoungOldUn said:


> Wild boar! Where on earth do you live?


 lol..wild Boar! i'd have my blunderbuss out if i were you!


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## Rob Severn (Apr 30, 2011)

I live in the French Alps near the swiss and italian borders, still a few wolves around here too. The conservationists get them from Poland and Latvia, release them into the mountains and the italian farmers shoot them.
When we lived near Ashford (dump) there were wild boar around there too, especially in Orlestone woods. The car parks of which had the distinction of being voted the best dogging spot in the south east.......


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## oldhipp (Feb 7, 2009)

gazzer1964 said:


> oldhipp said:
> 
> 
> > Rob Severn said:
> ...


an old neighbour used to tell me that her 3 cats had to crap somewhere unfortunatly they choose my garden,12 months later for some unknown reason all her cats had dissapeared.


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## Rob Severn (Apr 30, 2011)

Isn't it strange, if people had the same attitude towards the state of the country as they seem to have about whether an innocent animal shits on their little piece of England, maybe just maybe the country wouldn't be the shithole that it is.


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## NOCK (May 29, 2010)

Rob Severn said:


> Isn't it strange, if people had the same attitude towards the state of the country as they seem to have about whether an innocent animal shits on their little piece of England, maybe just maybe the country wouldn't be the shithole that it is.


Veeeeeeery true!

I watched an old Lady throw some rubbish on the floor the other day...made me realise that it's certainly not just the 'youf of taday'. Really pee'd me off, she must have been 70; certainly old enough to know better.


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

NOCK said:


> Rob Severn said:
> 
> 
> > Isn't it strange, if people had the same attitude towards the state of the country as they seem to have about whether an innocent animal shits on their little piece of England, maybe just maybe the country wouldn't be the shithole that it is.
> ...


will blame her failing brain functions for that nock lol


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## andyTT180 (Mar 19, 2010)

As with everything else its the owners faults, my parents have a cat and two dogs. The cat isn't allowed out itself and is always in the house. Its the fact the scummy people of today get animals then don't look after them, just like dogs if you want to own a cat it should be kept indoors and only be outside under supervision


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## NOCK (May 29, 2010)

andyTT180 said:


> if you want to own a cat it should be kept indoors and only be outside under supervision


You have GOT to be joking!?

Keeping it inside is animal cruelty in my opinion, what do you want owners to do, put their cats on leads and walk them twice a day? If cat owners wanted to do that, they'd most probably buy a dog instead.


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## andyTT180 (Mar 19, 2010)

NOCK said:


> andyTT180 said:
> 
> 
> > if you want to own a cat it should be kept indoors and only be outside under supervision
> ...


Our cat very happily lives indoors and gets on well with our dogs, to the point where they share food and sleep on the sofa together. When its outside it wanders about for 5 minutes then wants to go back in, plenty of people with pedigree cats keep them inside like all animals if they are brought up a certain way from when they are young they adapt and learn to behave appropriately.
People just seem to assume cats should be outside animals, dogs were also wild animals which have been domesticated

Cruelty is allowing your pet to run around on main roads with the chance of it being hit by a car


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## NOCK (May 29, 2010)

andyTT180 said:


> NOCK said:
> 
> 
> > andyTT180 said:
> ...


We have one cat that is very like yours by the sounds of things, the other two like to go out. They don't go very far and as far as I'm aware they stay in the grounds of the apartment that I live in which is really safe; speed limit is 5mph etc. We've had no complaints from anyone about their behaviour (and there are several people who like to complain at any given opportunity). They like to go and do cat things outside, they will eat grass which is good for them in addition to their normal food, climb, jump and generally keep themselves fit, I am glad that they go out; it's healthy for them, I wish the third one would go out a little bit more but she's very lazy.

Cat's eating dog food cannot be healthy can it? I'm no veterinarian but it doesn't sound right to me.


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## Rob Severn (Apr 30, 2011)

We have 4 cats that go outside, and 2persian flat nosed cats that we got from a rescue centre, the persians had been kept indoors on all their life and show no real inclination to see what the wider world has to offer althoigh they know how to usr the catflaps. They seem happy enough but not very catlike, they're always sleeping and don't seem to have much get up and go.
The others are all brothers and again from a rescue centre are always out exploring and doing cat things, to keep them inside after them having so much freedom would be cruel. They were educated into tje dangers of cars when they were kittens by scaringthe absolute shit out of them by sounding the horn or reving the car every time they poked their noses out the door, they go nowhere near roads.
I realise I'm lucky because we have land and live in the middle of nowhere but the thing is when you have an animal of any kind, dog, cat, mongoose, polar bear whatever, you have a reonsibility to that animal to give it the best care you possibly can and If you are unable to do this then you should never have animals or kids.
Don't get me started on the dickheads that have 'hard' dogs and teach their dogs to be anti social wankers. We have 4 dogs 
2 are American Staffs, from the dogs home, they have never shown the slightest sign of being 'bad dogs' because we've never wanted them to be.
Your dog, be it Jack Russel or Rottweiller, if it bites anyone it should be you that goes to prison as if you'd attacked the person.

Ok rant over

Dog breeders, bastards


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## NOCK (May 29, 2010)

Rob Severn said:


> We have 4 cats that go outside, and 2persian flat nosed cats that we got from a rescue centre, the persians had been kept indoors on all their life and show no real inclination to see what the wider world has to offer althoigh they know how to usr the catflaps. They seem happy enough but not very catlike, they're always sleeping and don't seem to have much get up and go.
> The others are all brothers and again from a rescue centre are always out exploring and doing cat things, to keep them inside after them having so much freedom would be cruel. They were educated into tje dangers of cars when they were kittens by scaringthe absolute shit out of them by sounding the horn or reving the car every time they poked their noses out the door, they go nowhere near roads.
> I realise I'm lucky because we have land and live in the middle of nowhere but the thing is when you have an animal of any kind, dog, cat, mongoose, polar bear whatever, you have a reonsibility to that animal to give it the best care you possibly can and If you are unable to do this then you should never have animals or kids.
> Don't get me started on the dickheads that have 'hard' dogs and teach their dogs to be anti social wankers. We have 4 dogs
> ...


I agree with absolutely everything that you have just written.


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## andyTT180 (Mar 19, 2010)

NOCK said:


> Cat's eating dog food cannot be healthy can it? I'm no veterinarian but it doesn't sound right to me.


Its mainly one of the dogs who eats the cats food occasionaly. We don't encourage it, both the cat and dogs have their own food and own food bowls but you know what some dogs are like they'll eat anything :lol: We mentioned it to the vet but he said it isn't a problem


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## NOCK (May 29, 2010)

andyTT180 said:


> NOCK said:
> 
> 
> > Cat's eating dog food cannot be healthy can it? I'm no veterinarian but it doesn't sound right to me.
> ...


  That's dog's for you, they'll eat just about anything won't they!


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## Dash (Oct 5, 2008)

oldhipp said:


> an old neighbour used to tell me that her 3 cats had to crap somewhere unfortunatly they choose my garden,12 months later for some unknown reason all her cats had dissapeared.


I do hope you aren't being serious. I know people's roses are precious, but cruelty to animals is no excuse - and a criminal offence I believe. It's doubly worse if you've done something to an elderly person's pet. Pets are often companions which people afford a lot of affection to, the anguish and heart-ache that can ensue from such a horrid act can be devastating.

I find the attitude of some of the people on this forum disgusting.


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## oldhipp (Feb 7, 2009)

Rob Severn said:


> Isn't it strange, if people had the same attitude towards the state of the country as they seem to have about whether an innocent animal shits on their little piece of England, maybe just maybe the country wouldn't be the shithole that it is.


could nt agree more,in my case it was nt 1 cat shitting once a week, it was several shitting seven days a week.You do the maths.30 plus turds a week on lawns,gravel and flower beds carefully concealed just sub surface,add a few kids playing in the garden (not plesent).To turn the argument around would any cat owner think it was acceptable if i put a dog in their garden on a regular basis to do its buisness ,i think not (and rightly so).Those innocent creatures are also responsable for decimating millions of native garden birds year in,year out.Dash i meant ex neighbour not old,i moved partially due to the cat problem.The new house has 1 cat that occasionally uses the garden as a short cut which i do nt have a problem with.


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## Rob Severn (Apr 30, 2011)

oldhipp said:


> Those innocent creatures are also responsable for decimating millions of native garden birds year in,year out. .


So it's ok for us to breed and slaughter millions of pigs, chickens, cows etc year in year out and torture carp in the name of sport ? Because we are omnivorous but a true carnivore isn't allowed to follow it's instincts ?
The whole garden birds thing is bollocks, when I come back to the UK I am amazed at the sheer amount of wildlife, I've seen deer in fields by the edge of towns, foxes and badgers in London and peregrine falcons and sparrowhawks in the centre of Bath, my old man has huge problems with rabbits and he lives in Winchester, noT some village but in Winchester itself. The amount of songbird nests on woodlands is incredible, partly because of the rise of set aside land and cash paid to farmers not to grow anything on it. there are a lot of things that eat songbirds not just cats, sparrowhawks, peregrine falcons ( all of which are on the increase thanks to conservation) and grey squirrels.
Where I live there are very few songbirds, in fact there is very little wildlife on the whole, simply because the french and italians shoot fucking everything. You can buy little .22 cartridges with a picture of a bunting on it, a small inoffensive bird whose only crime is to fly about going eep, but they've been eating them for 100s of years so it must be ok.
The whole cats killing birds thing again, I don't see anyone complaining that they're killing mice and rats though. Don't want your cat to hunt ? Easy stick a couple of bells on it's collar, don't want your neighbours cat killing small and squeaky stuff ? Simple ask them to bell their cat, if they don't...well fuck em at least you tried.


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## oldhipp (Feb 7, 2009)

Sorry i can nt quite see the link between breeding animals for human consumption and a cat randomly killing birds to play with.Of course other things kill birds as mentioned,most indigenous and wild to the UK( Grey squirrels apart).To the best of my Knowledge cats are neither wild nor indigenous(forgets to mention Scottish WILD cats).As for the bell idea i did mention it only to be told Quote. its my cat why should i.Un-qoute.


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## Rob Severn (Apr 30, 2011)

oldhipp said:


> Sorry i can nt quite see the link between breeding animals for human consumption and a cat randomly killing birds to play with.Of course other things kill birds as mentioned,most indigenous and wild to the UK( Grey squirrels apart).To the best of my Knowledge cats are neither wild nor indigenous(forgets to mention Scottish WILD cats).As for the bell idea i did mention it only to be told Quote. its my cat why should i.Un-qoute.


Because the cats are only doing the same as us and following instincts, although our instinct to hunt has been reduced to tracking down the latest offers at B&Q or poaching someones parking spot, if they were of equal intelligence they would probably doing exactly the same, but more snappily dressed. Ever see Red Dwarf ?
To be best of my knowledge neither cows (Africa) or sheep (Iran/Iraq) pheasants (Asia) and Rabbits are not indigenous either, so that falls a bit flat there.
If you ask someone nicely once or twice and they refuse to take responsibilty for their animals actions then angry mob justice is called for. Take it out on the owners.


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## oldhipp (Feb 7, 2009)

Rob Severn said:


> oldhipp said:
> 
> 
> > Sorry i can nt quite see the link between breeding animals for human consumption and a cat randomly killing birds to play with.Of course other things kill birds as mentioned,most indigenous and wild to the UK( Grey squirrels apart).To the best of my Knowledge cats are neither wild nor indigenous(forgets to mention Scottish WILD cats).As for the bell idea i did mention it only to be told Quote. its my cat why should i.Un-qoute.
> ...


Do nt quite get the fact that cows,sheep and rabbits are nt indigenous,well i do but iv,e never seen a cow stalking,killing,playing with and then taking a bird back to its owner.I get your point on red dwarfs cat,he was toilet trained.2010 survey.9million cats are estimated to have killed-52-63million mammels,25-29million birds and 4-6million reptiles/amphibians in a 5 month period.


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## Rob Severn (Apr 30, 2011)

oldhipp said:


> Rob Severn said:
> 
> 
> > oldhipp said:
> ...


I have seen cows barely able to walk because they are overloaded with milk, I have seen bulls so mutated they have to be milked for their semen because they cannot mount without massive strain on the heart, I have seen hens kept in 1ftx1ft boxes with no room to move just we can have a fried egg, I have seen pigs kept under lights for 18 hours a day and injected with antibiotics every week, I have seen chickens fed hydrolysed beef proteins so they get more water in their flesh to bulk up on weight and killed at 30 days old weighing 4lbs, I have seen sheep with fly strike so bad that they have rubbed the skin away and down to the muscle. This is not instinct this is cruelty, this is how your food is produced. A cat killing a bird is instinct, do you get it now ?

And I also saw a survey which said that 56.37292% of the population has their head so far up their own arse they can see their breakfast, but I don't beleive everything I read. :wink:


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## oldhipp (Feb 7, 2009)

And I also saw a survey which said that 56.37292% of the population has their head so far up their own arse they can see their breakfast, but I don't beleive everything I read. :wink:[/quote][/quote]
I do appologise, iv,e misread the crux of this thread,i thought it was a post on the pros and cons of cats , not the virtues of why one should abstain from eating meat.Must go,off to throw a steak on the barbie(note to ones self,make sure meat has no pulse before incinerating)


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## YoungOldUn (Apr 12, 2011)

We have had cats for the past 30 years (Not the same ones). We have had pedigree Burmese & British Blues and also the odd cat that has adopted us. Our current cat adopted us about 4 years ago and eats her food outside surounded by a mixture of blackbirds, thrushes and the odd robin all waiting for their turn at her food bowl after she has finished. When I say surrounded I mean exactly that, they are from about 9 inches to 3 feet away from her. She has never once tried to catch one of them and everyone who witnesses this spectacle comments on how placid she is. I dont for one minute think that this is a characteristic of all cats, but is to demonstrate that not all cats are the same.

Opposing this scene of harmony is the vision of the feathered thugs - Magpies. They have just two days, ago taken 3 blackbird chicks fron a nest between my house and my neighbours. Last year over a period of 3 days they took 7 duckings which my neighbour had on his pond. Both of these events were witnessed.


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## Rob Severn (Apr 30, 2011)

@ Old hipp

You seem to misunderstand, I mentioned nothing to do with abstaining from eating meat, I am not vegetarian, tonight I shall be eating chicken, ok it is a chicken that died of natural causes after living a long, full and active life.
I was attempting to draw an anolgy with cat behavior in relation to human.
We too shit in other peoples gardens as it were and are more than capable of causing the decline of species. Sorry if you didn't get it.


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## ViperOneZero (Sep 4, 2008)

The fact is I spent a lot of money and time digging out rough ground, putting a flower bed in, and planting bulbs and flowers.. Then I find its been totally dug out / destroyed plants shredded bulbs all over the place and crap dug in... I then caught the offending cats doing it again when I had bought more plants etc... not only that, the same cat scraped down my TT roof causing a 9 inch long scratch which is down to the primer. 
I have also spend money introducing bird boxes, feeders, bath.. all of which are as new due to one of the cats staying on guard whilst im out.

The cats in my hood are becoming a pest, very much like a mole that digs up your lawn etc, not only that they are a health hazard constantly crapping all over. I'm sure as cat owners you can see my point, and I understand that due to the nature of how cats live then you will have little control over them.

I however can lawfully employ measures to deter and prevent these cats vandalising my garden again.


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## YoungOldUn (Apr 12, 2011)

GunnerGibson said:


> The fact is I spent a lot of money and time digging out rough ground, putting a flower bed in, and planting bulbs and flowers.. Then I find its been totally dug out / destroyed plants shredded bulbs all over the place and crap dug in... I then caught the offending cats doing it again when I had bought more plants etc... not only that, the same cat scraped down my TT roof causing a 9 inch long scratch which is down to the primer.
> I have also spend money introducing bird boxes, feeders, bath.. all of which are as new due to one of the cats staying on guard whilst im out.
> 
> The cats in my hood are becoming a pest, very much like a mole that digs up your lawn etc, not only that they are a health hazard constantly crapping all over. I'm sure as cat owners you can see my point, and I understand that due to the nature of how cats live then you will have little control over them.
> ...


I have used a 'Soaker' presurised water gun to good effect on other cats that I have seen giving me their deposits. Better than a catapult (Wonder why they are called CATApults :? :? ).


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## oldhipp (Feb 7, 2009)

An interesting point of law.If somebodies cat is constantly crapping in your garden and you do not dispose of it,then it is you as the land owner who is open to prosecution for harbouring a health risk and not the owner of the cat.


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## Rob Severn (Apr 30, 2011)

http://shop.ebay.co.uk/i.html?_from=R40 ... Categories


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## YoungOldUn (Apr 12, 2011)

This is what I used

http://shop.ebay.co.uk/i.html?_nkw=supe ... m270.l1311


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## ViperOneZero (Sep 4, 2008)

check this out lol;

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ULTRASONIC-AN...Control_CV&hash=item2c5b28e0c0#ht_1864wt_1032


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## oldhipp (Feb 7, 2009)

Tried them all,trust me they do not work.Crushed moth balls work to a point but its infesable to cover your entire garden.Off the shelf cat repelants ie. scardy cat etc ,do,nt work.6 foot fence topped with climbing roses ect surrounding the entire garden is your best bet(if feasable).


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## Dash (Oct 5, 2008)

I've got netting over my vegetable patches which stops the birds and the cats from getting in. And for shrub areas I've got a layer of permeable membrane covered with woodchip, and holes cut where I want things to grow. No where for them to go. There are other sheltered areas where things don't grow which the cats can use as far as I care, but there are a lot of gardens and fields near me so I expect they go there.

It's the dog a few doors down who is free to roam that shits outside my front door on a regular basis that pisses me off. At least cats bury it.


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## ScoobyTT (Aug 24, 2009)

Well that's just calling out for a "missing dog" poster :lol:


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## richieshore (May 17, 2010)

ScoobyTT said:


> Well that's just calling out for a "missing dog" poster :lol:


Calling out for dog shit through their letter box, or under the car door handle is a good one! :lol:

I'm sure if you get a photo you can report it to the council and they'll get a fine?


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## oldhipp (Feb 7, 2009)

I understand now.
A magpie kills a bird (for food)=bad
A cat kills a bird(for fun)= good(because thats what cats do)
A dog shits in your garden=bad(we kill the dog and post its shit through the owners letter box).
A cat shits in your garden=good(because thats what cats do.)
To all cat owners i appologise for my misunderstandings.


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

end of the day fellas.........love em or hate em cats will be cats! go where they want and crap where they want, you just cannot stop them i am afraid. we have two cats and yes they have a crap area.........didnt stop the little basts killing a freshly planted rose bush. go back 10 years and as a pest you could kill them if worrying racing pigeons for instance, but now you cant and errrr yeah im glad despite my two peein me off.
next door has two dogs...........cats sit on fence just pissin em off lol......once dogs are in then straight over and crap where they want!!! sorry neighbour lol.........least my cats despite killing plants and the odd bird don't annoy me with constant barking lol


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## oldhipp (Feb 7, 2009)

gazzer1964 said:


> end of the day fellas.........love em or hate em cats will be cats! go where they want and crap where they want, you just cannot stop them i am afraid. we have two cats and yes they have a crap area.........didnt stop the little basts killing a freshly planted rose bush. go back 10 years and as a pest you could kill them if worrying racing pigeons for instance, but now you cant and errrr yeah im glad despite my two peein me off.
> next door has two dogs...........cats sit on fence just pissin em off lol......once dogs are in then straight over and crap where they want!!! sorry neighbour lol.........least my cats despite killing plants and the odd bird don't annoy me with constant barking lol


true,do,nt start me off on barking dogs,thats another story!


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

bucking fastard things lol


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## Dash (Oct 5, 2008)

richieshore said:


> I'm sure if you get a photo you can report it to the council and they'll get a fine?


To be fair the owners clean it up, but it sometimes takes them a couple of days.

Dogs barking, ah yes that pisses me off no end. When I lived at my parents there was one next door, yappy one. They used to kick it out at 5am due to it barking in doors. So instead of just waking them up, it woke the street up. And it would just bark, or yap, constantly. That combined with seagulls meant I never got any sleep.

Perhaps we should just ban pets full stop.


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## OeTT (Nov 10, 2007)

when all is said and done, I hate next door's fooking cat. It sleeps on my roadster's roof, covers it in fur mud and piss, covers the car in muddy footprints and scratches it on the way up and down...but I have to admire it's bloody mindedness. I tried an ultrasonic device. It wound up all the kids in the neighbousing houses...but not the cat. I then tried a motion detector activated super soaker. I soaked all the neighbours kids on the way to school, but the cat learnt to count to 5 and get on the roof while the dam thing reset itself. I tried to bribe the builders to kidnap the dam thing but it hid for a week! I suppose I should just be grateful that it only messes with my car, it loves to crap on the other neighbours veg plots!..oh and netting doesn't stop him either, he just craps on it  
Amazing cat but a fooking nuisance. Any practical advice welcomed


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

OeTT said:


> when all is said and done, I hate next door's fooking cat. It sleeps on my roadster's roof, covers it in fur mud and piss, covers the car in muddy footprints and scratches it on the way up and down...but I have to admire it's bloody mindedness. I tried an ultrasonic device. It wound up all the kids in the neighbousing houses...but not the cat. I then tried a motion detector activated super soaker. I soaked all the neighbours kids on the way to school, but the cat learnt to count to 5 and get on the roof while the dam thing reset itself. I tried to bribe the builders to kidnap the dam thing but it hid for a week! I suppose I should just be grateful that it only messes with my car, it loves to crap on the other neighbours veg plots!..oh and netting doesn't stop him either, he just craps on it
> Amazing cat but a fooking nuisance. Any practical advice welcomed


gotta admire that cat.........hard as nails and basically outwitting the human race. lay a fire blanket on TT to stop the scratches is my only real advice bud. thought one of ours was dying this morn so said bugger all and went to work. got home and things bright as a button and has spewed up a hairball on my side of the bed.......thing hates me as i hate it. mrs & daughter want them both buried in the garden come the time. happy with that as instead of killing me roses will bloody feed em lol


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## ScoobyTT (Aug 24, 2009)

OeTT said:


> Any practical advice welcomed


12 gauge?


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## YoungOldUn (Apr 12, 2011)

OeTT said:


> when all is said and done, I hate next door's fooking cat. It sleeps on my roadster's roof, covers it in fur mud and piss, covers the car in muddy footprints and scratches it on the way up and down...but I have to admire it's bloody mindedness. I tried an ultrasonic device. It wound up all the kids in the neighbousing houses...but not the cat. I then tried a motion detector activated super soaker. I soaked all the neighbours kids on the way to school, but the cat learnt to count to 5 and get on the roof while the dam thing reset itself. I tried to bribe the builders to kidnap the dam thing but it hid for a week! I suppose I should just be grateful that it only messes with my car, it loves to crap on the other neighbours veg plots!..oh and netting doesn't stop him either, he just craps on it
> Amazing cat but a fooking nuisance. Any practical advice welcomed


I bet it's either been trained by the SAS or it's one of those off the advert with opposable thumbs :lol: :lol:


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## SaintScoTT (Jun 27, 2008)

guys, guys...

Us Australians have thought of the answer.






No - you are not being Rick Rolled!! The title is "How to stop cats pissing on your car"


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## SaintScoTT (Jun 27, 2008)

SaintScoTT said:


> guys, guys...
> 
> Us Australians have thought of the answer.
> 
> ...


check out the second half - its hilarious and you guys will definitely get some satisfaction from it!!


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## Hoggy (May 8, 2002)

Hi, From the local rag.

FIVE cats from a Milford Haven housing estate have been poisoned and killed in the last month alone.
RSPCA superintendent for Wales, Martyn Hubbard, said the cats had to be put to sleep as a result of the poisoning on the Mount Estate.
He described the incident as 'highly suspicious and disturbing.' It is thought the cats died of antifreeze poisoning in a deliberate attack.

Anti-freeze is very toxic to cats but they are attracted by its sweet taste.

The RSPCA has said it is very concerned at the number of reported cat poisonings it has received across Wales in recent months.
Anyone found guilty of causing unnecessary suffering to an animal could face a maximum six-month prison sentence and/or a £20,000 fine under the Animal Welfare Act.


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## richieshore (May 17, 2010)

SaintScoTT said:


> guys, guys...
> 
> Us Australians have thought of the answer.
> 
> ...


Oh my god, that was the funniest video I've seen in a while, I'm actually pissing myself here! Good find, sheer genius.

:lol: :lol: :lol:


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## carlTT (Apr 8, 2011)

buy a huge dog and let it loose! they'll soon vanish! :twisted:


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## YELLOW_TT (Feb 25, 2004)

Hoggy said:


> Hi, From the local rag.
> 
> FIVE cats from a Milford Haven housing estate have been poisoned and killed in the last month alone.
> RSPCA superintendent for Wales, Martyn Hubbard, said the cats had to be put to sleep as a result of the poisoning on the Mount Estate.
> ...


If sorry I dont have any cats so if i left a half full bottle of anti freeze with the top off in my garden then it should not be a problem [smiley=book2.gif]


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## ViperOneZero (Sep 4, 2008)

Well , Ive found the cat access routes..going to hammer some carpet gripper in...

here is a video from my Observation Post....


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## redsilverblue (Mar 9, 2011)

SaintScoTT said:


> guys, guys...
> 
> Us Australians have thought of the answer.
> 
> ...


 :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


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## burns (Jun 2, 2009)

That video made me laugh out loud. But do you live next door to the cat lady from The Simpsons? I've never seen so many together!!! Surely you must be able to get some kind of Dispersal Order on them?


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## ScoobyTT (Aug 24, 2009)

Dispersal Order : 12 gauge.


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