# A collection of chortles . . .



## John-H (Jul 13, 2005)

A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid.
When I quizzed him on it he reckoned he could stop any time.....

I had a mate who was suicidal. He was really depressed, 
so I pushed him in front of a steam train.
He was chuffed to bits.

I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave. As I was
standing there I noticed 4 grave diggers walking about with a coffin... 
3 hours later and they're still walking about with it...
I thought to myself, these b*g**rs have lost the plot!!

I was at a cashpoint yesterday when a little old lady asked if I could check her balance.
Not being one to disappoint I pushed the old dear over.

A new middle east crisis erupted last night as Dubai Television was refused
permission to broadcast 'The Flintstones'.
A spokesman for the channel said....
'A claim was made that people in Dubai would not understand the humour, but
we know for a fact that people in Abu Dhabi Do.'

My son's been asking me for a pet spider for his birthday, so I went to our
local pet shop and they were £70!!!
B*ll*cks to this, I thought, I can get one cheaper off the web.

Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy.

Went around to a friends house today. His wife was sat there with their
newborn baby. She asked if i'd like to wind it....
I thought that was a bit harsh so i gave it a dead leg instead.

I start a new job in Seoul next week. I thought it was a good Korea move.


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## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

Excellent :lol: :lol: :lol:


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## j8keith (Jun 26, 2009)

:lol: :lol: :lol:


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## Kell (May 28, 2002)

Arf arf.


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## T3RBO (Dec 9, 2003)

:lol: :lol: :lol:


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## London (Sep 25, 2009)

There's a distinct whiff of Tim Vine about these...

Ldn


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## Nilesong (Jan 19, 2009)

I lol'd. :lol:


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## Charlie (Dec 15, 2006)

:lol: :lol: :lol:


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## TTCool (Feb 7, 2005)

I'm a bit late, John but :lol: :lol: anyway.

Joe


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