# Making Babies



## geordie12 (Jan 31, 2014)

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate 
father to start their family. On the day the surrogate father was to 
arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man should be 
here soon" Half an hour later, just by chance a door-to-door baby 
photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.

"Good morning, madam. I've come to...."
"Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. Smith cut in.
"Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good. I've made a speciality of 
babies"
"That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat"

After a moment, she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"
"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the 
couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is 
fun too; you can really spread out!"
"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and me"
"Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But, if we 
try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven different 
angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results"
"My, that's a lot of....." gasped Mrs. Smith.
"Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in 
and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure" 
"Don't I know it," Mrs. Smith said quietly.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his 
baby pictures.
"This was done on the top of a bus in downtown London"
"Oh my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief.
"And these twins turned out exceptionally well, when you consider their 
mother was so difficult to work with"
"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.
"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to Hyde Park to get the job 
done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get 
a good look"
"Four and five deep?" asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement.
"Yes," the photographer said, "And for more than three hours too. The 
mother was constantly squealing and yelling. I could hardly concentrate. 
Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the 
squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in."
Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "You mean squirrels actually chewed on your, 
um......equipment?"
"That's right. Well, madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so we 
can get to work."
"Tripod?????"
"Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big for 
me to hold for very long. Madam? Madam? ....... Good Lord, she's 
fainted!!"


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## ZephyR2 (Feb 20, 2013)

:lol: :lol: Rather long, but an excellent climax at the end


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## NickG (Aug 15, 2013)

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


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## JesseJames (Feb 18, 2015)

Haha quality


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## briancope (Jan 25, 2014)

Hi geordie12,

Followed you yesterday down the A46 in Lincoln at around 2.40pm in my wife's silver Laguna and then you did a right at the Pride of Lincoln roundabout (I'm sure it's not called that but I have stayed in the hotel on the left of that name that looks a bit like a windmill).

I've been doing the daily commute from Leicester to Lincoln so trying to keep the miles down on my TT.

Good gag by the way and I guess you will be showing the sponge to your TT over the weekend  ?

B


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## markaw3.2 (Mar 24, 2015)

:lol: :lol:


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## amberTT (May 12, 2015)

hahah


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## peachy2501 (May 12, 2015)

Lol :lol: :lol:


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