# Nursery rhymes...Please add your own !!



## thehornster (Apr 29, 2005)

Mary had a little pig, 
She kept it fat and plastered; 
And when the price of pork went up, 
She shot the little bastard

...............................................................

MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB Her father shot it dead. Now it goes to school with her, Between two hunks of bread.

MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB she kept it in a bucket. And every time the lamb got out the bulldog tried to.....bite it.

.......................................................................

Jack and Jill went up the hill to have a little fun, Stupid jill forgot the pill, and now they have a son

...........................................................................

SIMPLE SIMON met a Pieman going to the fair. Said Simple Simon to the Pieman, "What have you got there?" Said the Pieman unto Simon, "Pies, you dumb F*$%!

...........................................................................

HUMPTY DUMPTY sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the kings' horses, And all the kings' men. Had scrambled eggs, For breakfast again.

..................................................................................

HEY DIDDLE, DIDDLE the cat took a piddle, All over the bedside clock. The little dog laughed to see such fun. Then died of electric shock.

..................................................................................

There was a little girl who had a little curl 
Right in the middle of her forehead. 
When she was good, she was very, very good. 
But when she was bad........ 
She got a fur coat, jewels, a waterfront condo, and a sports car.


----------



## Kell (May 28, 2002)

Mary got a brand new bike
She rode it back to front
but every time she pulled the brake
the lever went up her...

...sleeve.


----------



## thehornster (Apr 29, 2005)

Kell said:


> Mary got a brand new bike
> She rode it back to front
> but every time she pulled the brake
> the lever went up her...
> ...


Very good :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :wink:


----------



## droopsnoot (Sep 5, 2002)

Mary had a little blouse
'twas busted all to bits
and everywhere that Mary went
you saw her little tits.

Mary had a little skirt
'twas ripped all down the front
and everywhere that Mary went
she had to sit down all the time.


----------



## thehornster (Apr 29, 2005)

droopsnoot said:


> Mary had a little blouse
> 'twas busted all to bits
> and everywhere that Mary went
> you saw her little tits.
> ...


I like the sound of this mary,where does she live? :lol: :wink:


----------



## cw955 (Apr 8, 2003)

Mary had a little pig
She couldn't stop it gruntin'
She took it down the garden path
And kicked it's little face in

It's good to be 12 again


----------



## thehornster (Apr 29, 2005)

There was a young lady from ealing
Who had a perculiar feeling
She layed on her back
and opened her cr..............Hang on thats not a nursery rhyme   :roll:


----------



## johnnyboy (Feb 6, 2005)

cw955 said:


> Mary had a little pig
> She couldn't stop it gruntin'
> She took it down the garden path
> And kicked it's little face in
> ...


In Scotland its

Mary had a little pig
It would not stop its gruntin
She took it up a close one night
And kicked its fuckin cn*t in 

I just found out if you type c** t its changed to doodah :idea:


----------



## NaughTTy (Jul 9, 2003)

johnnyboy said:


> cw955 said:
> 
> 
> > Mary had a little pig
> ...


I think it would be everywhere else but this isn't the flame room :roll: :wink:


----------



## QuackingPlums (Mar 10, 2004)

Jack and Jill went up the hill
to fetch a pail of water,
I don't know what they did up there
but now they have a daughter


----------



## dibblet (Sep 10, 2003)

mary had little skirt 
with a split right up the side
every time she walk along you see right up her thigh

mary had another skirt
it split right up the back

a every time she walked along you see right up her crack

mary had another skirt it split right up the front

but she never wore it...


----------



## BAMTT (Feb 22, 2004)

Hickory Dickory dock 
The mouse ran up the clock
The mouse ran down his bum was brown
And so was the Cuckoo's c**k

Taxi !


----------



## silkman (Jul 29, 2004)

Mary had a little lamb
that run onto a pylon
10,000 volts went up its ass
and turned its wool to nylon.


----------



## Kell (May 28, 2002)

There was a man from Nantucket
whose cock was so long he could suck it
he said with a grin
wiping spunk from his chin
if my ear was a c*nt I could fuck it


----------



## thehornster (Apr 29, 2005)

Kell said:


> There was a man from Nantucket
> whose cock was so long he could suck it
> he said with a grin
> wiping spunk from his chin
> if my ear was a c*nt I could fuck it


thats disgusting Mr Editor you should know better!!! :lol: :lol: :lol: :wink:


----------

