# Planning a Wedding



## C4TLN (Mar 5, 2007)

I don't suppose any of you ladies are either wedding planners, or happen to know much about it. I'm just at a complete loss, I can plan aspects of it and sort out what we want but it's just pulling it all together and making sure everything is just right that is starting to get to me. We havn't aranged anything at all yet so starting from scratch might not be such a bad thing but if i'm going to do that then I want to at least start well :lol:

C xx


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## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

First and foremost see what is available in terms of venues where you want to get married and have as a reception. Then choose your dates. These days most venues are pretty booked up well in advance so you may have to wait if you want a specific date. Once you have the venue or church and venue sorted you need to plan everything else like, bridesmaids, best man, outifts, cake, invitations, whether you want a sit down meal, honeymoon god the list is endless . If all else fails go to WH Smith and get a book on wedding planning and etiquette . I have been married 14 years so times may changed slightly . Also get saving too - having a wedding will set you back Â£Â£Â£Â£Â£Â£Â£


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## CH_Peter (May 16, 2002)

I got married 18 months ago, was Best Man last year and Best Man again this year in April.

Reception (hotel on site or very near is a must, IMHO) and church should be done simultaneously. Then you have your date, and you can start on cars, flowers, dresses, suits, etc.

Honeymoon handed off to groom. Stag Do / Hen Do handed off to Best Man / Main of Honour. Don't even get involved, other than to set limits.

Once you have the date set, reception and hotel, it becomes easier. We kept an Excel spreadsheet of things to do and people invited, accepted, etc, so that we both knew what we were doing and what needed doing.

On timescales, 3 months to plan is very hard work, 6 month's is OK, a year is comfortable and 18 months means you don't need to get started yet!


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## QuackingPlums (Mar 10, 2004)

I got married at the end of 2005, and despite having almost two years to plan it we were still very stressed!

One thing you'll need to do is know rough numbers for the venue you are trying to book. The temptation is to list absolutely everybody you know or knew and the first arguments you'll have are whether such-and-such you knew way back from when you were a kid needs to be invited. My general rule was this: I don't want to be introduced to anybody for the first time on my wedding day, so if they haven't made the effort to see us before the big day, they don't get invited! 

Once you've settled on your list, be prepared to be shocked when you hear the "per head" multipliers for catering. You may want to take this opportunity to re-evaluate your friendships, or do what we did and say "sod it, we only get married once, let's do it in style". 8)

Either way, venues may not be able to cater for the full numbers you are expecting, so you'll need to do the A/B list thing:
Put everybody you MUST invite in list A - even those who you think may not bother. These may include aunts and uncles you haven't seen for years, but if you left them out you may upset the parents. If there's any space, add close friends and those who you really want to be at the wedding. Send invites out to List A once your venue is confirmed.
Everybody else goes in list B but you don't send them their invites yet. As the RSVPs come back with declines, send out list B invites. As long as nobody finds out they're on the B list, they won't get offended. It's ruthless, but unless you have a mahoosive venue (or no friends!) it's the only way of doing it pragmatically.

Best of luck and congratulations!


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## NaughTTy (Jul 9, 2003)

Went to a wedding a couple of weeks ago (some will already know who I'm talking about :wink: ) - 7 weeks to plan from start to finish!!! One of the best weddings I've been to. Civil wedding in Clearwell Castle in the Forest of Dean - the reception was held in the castle too so no worries about transfering between locations.

Excellent Day


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## bilbos (Jan 16, 2004)

It doesn't have to be stressful, it all depends what you want from your wedding day. Granted, if you are after the whole church thing with 20 piece orchestra, then it is going to be a nightmare to arrange.

When we got married less than two years ago, it took me two phonecalls to arrange it. One to the registry office to book the ceremony, and then to the restaurant to book the meal. There were five of us at the wedding, bride, groom, brides mon and dad, and grooms mom.

All wrapped up for less than 500 quid. Bargain.


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## Ashtray_Girl (Nov 27, 2006)

As said above best to book the church and wedding simultaneously once that's done the rest will follow. we got married in 2002 and planned it in 10 months it wasn't too stressful, only problem we had was with the name change/passport thing, took forever for the passport to come back and then they wanted more info....so make sure you don't forget to sort that in time so you can go on your honeymoon!!

Also another thing people forget is that if you want somewhere tropical, then you might have to have early spring or autumn wedding because of monsoon/hurricaine times. We were set on the Maldives and so got married in April for that reason but i know plenty of people who book the wedding for July or August cos they want a summer wedding and then they realise the that their honeymoon destination falls in the monsson period! So bear that in mind if you really do want a tropical honeymoon! Plus it means that if you want to go somewhere tropical for your future anniversaries you can do!


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## WozzaTT (Jan 15, 2006)

bilbos said:


> It doesn't have to be stressful, it all depends what you want from your wedding day. Granted, if you are after the whole church thing with 20 piece orchestra, then it is going to be a nightmare to arrange.
> 
> When we got married less than two years ago, it took me two phonecalls to arrange it. One to the registry office to book the ceremony, and then to the restaurant to book the meal. There were five of us at the wedding, bride, groom, brides mon and dad, and grooms mom.
> 
> All wrapped up for less than 500 quid. Bargain.


That's the way to do it. To spend Â£15k - Â£20k or whatever it may be on a wedding is ludicrous IMO.

Give the money to charity instead of spending it on self-indulgent, fairytale nonsense - it's statistically fairly likely that it won't be the only time you ever get married anyway.

Enjoy!


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## bilbos (Jan 16, 2004)

WozzaTT said:


> bilbos said:
> 
> 
> > It doesn't have to be stressful, it all depends what you want from your wedding day. Granted, if you are after the whole church thing with 20 piece orchestra, then it is going to be a nightmare to arrange.
> ...


We are definitely on the same wavelength 8)

All that money for one day. No way.


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## phodge (Sep 1, 2002)

bilbos said:


> It doesn't have to be stressful, it all depends what you want from your wedding day. Granted, if you are after the whole church thing with 20 piece orchestra, then it is going to be a nightmare to arrange.
> 
> When we got married less than two years ago, it took me two phonecalls to arrange it. One to the registry office to book the ceremony, and then to the restaurant to book the meal. There were five of us at the wedding, bride, groom, brides mon and dad, and grooms mom.
> 
> All wrapped up for less than 500 quid. Bargain.


We did something similar. Registry office, restaurant for a meal and then a pub in the evening. There were about 30 of us during the day for the service and the meal, and the pub was open house in the evening - think there wer about 100 of us at one point!

All done for 2K - including the honeymoon!

And the most important thing was that WE enjoyed it. The most important factor is that it is what you and your partner want. Other people will tell you 'you must do this' or 'you can't do that'.....you can do whatever YOU want to do. It's YOUR day. If others start with 'we won't come if so-and-so is coming' or 'don't sit us next to him/her/them' then just accept that they won't be coming. If these people really like you, really are you friends (and I'm talking about family too), then they will put aside their likes/dislikes/personal prejudices for one day/meal/afternoon to ensure that you have the best day ever. Don't invite people just because you feel you should, otherwise you'll spend the whole day worrying aboput making other pople happy instead of enjoying it!!

It Will be the best day of your life. It WILL go far too quickly. So do all the worrying and stress beforehand so that on the day you can just sit back, relax and ENJOY it!!!!

Good luck and keep us all posted....


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## C4TLN (Mar 5, 2007)

It just seems to get more and more involved the more I look at things. And my mum is "helping" but it's starting to get to me as her "help" involves completely taking over everything and doing things her way, and I want it my way!!

I don't think we want to do the church thing but possibly outside on some nice lawns somewhere, be a little different but not too out there.

Thanks for all the advice everybody.

C x


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## head_ed (Dec 10, 2002)

I have been to more weddings than most people, having started off cutting my teeth in the media as a wedding cameraman (many, many years ago).

The main thing is to remember that it is YOUR day, no one elses. I have seen couples get so stressed that everyone else is having a great day that they forget to have one themselves. So what if Aunty Betsy doesn't like the person she is sat next to, who cares if the flowers don't match the invites perfectly? What your guests will be there to see is two people in love proclaiming their love to each other.

Oh, and to get pissed 

Have fun!


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## QuackingPlums (Mar 10, 2004)

C4TLN said:


> I don't think we want to do the church thing but possibly outside on some nice lawns somewhere, be a little different but not too out there.
> 
> Thanks for all the advice everybody.
> 
> C x


I don't know if this has changed recently but I don't think it's possible to get outside premises licensed for civil weddings - they were talking about doing this but it wasn't possible when we were looking at venues 3 years ago...


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## C4TLN (Mar 5, 2007)

QuackingPlums said:


> C4TLN said:
> 
> 
> > I don't think we want to do the church thing but possibly outside on some nice lawns somewhere, be a little different but not too out there.
> ...


I don't just mean anywhere randomly, certrain places I know are licenced for this as we have been to a similar event late last year.

Thanks

C x


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## A3DFU (May 7, 2002)

As Penny (phodge) and Mart (head-ed) have said, relax and do it your way to please yourselves. It is your day and you have to like it, none else


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## cuTTsy (Jan 31, 2003)

C4TLN said:


> I don't suppose any of you ladies are either wedding planners, or happen to know much about it. I'm just at a complete loss, I can plan aspects of it and sort out what we want but it's just pulling it all together and making sure everything is just right that is starting to get to me. We havn't aranged anything at all yet so starting from scratch might not be such a bad thing but if i'm going to do that then I want to at least start well :lol:
> 
> C xx


If you have project manager by profession in the family as for their help...


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## hallsie (Aug 10, 2006)

Hey

i got married 4 weeks ago, !

the planning took less than 5 weeks with the misses doing most of the fiddly stuff like favours and table plans etc, 
but what we did do is searched on the web for deals, well, hayley did!

www.countryhouseweddings.co.uk

they well helped out with planning too and we had a fantastic day, i think that the hornster has posted a pic on the LEEK meet info!!

good luck with it all, if you need any pointers just shout!

stu


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## mrs coope (Mar 24, 2007)

_
Hiya! I've had a bit of experience planning weddings (not all of them my own!) but coopes & mine was an absolute blast! All arranged within 48 hours with memories that will last a life time (which is what we're hoping our marriage will do too...!)
Have a long chat with your intended & make plan of what you want - ie; any theme? style of venue? number of guests? family & friends? ages of guests? how do you want your big day to feel? what's your favourite food? time of year? think of all the things YOU guys like & then start to try & incorporate them into your day.... 
It also helps if you can come up with a sensible budget too - wedding costs can snowball & get rediculously out of hand & you don't need to start your new life in debt.... :? & who's going to pay? If you have a clearer idea of what YOU want its far easier to encourage others round to your way of thinking (usually by telling them it was a great idea THEY had...  )
If you come up with some ideas of what you'd like to be included in the day I'd be more than happy to help you build an outline of your perfect day...... let it be as individual as you both & the love you share...... above all a day to enjoy & remember forever......... :wink: _
I wish you both good things
mrs coope


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## Lisa. (May 7, 2002)

Of course you will want to buy the groom something special as they are often missed out of all the exciting stuff that brides have like wedding dresses, tiaras and necklaces.

Cufflinks, not novelty ones like "The Groom" and such tosh.

Bespoke made by me in pure silver and adorned with the fingerprint of his beaultiful bride to be cherished forever...


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## QuackingPlums (Mar 10, 2004)

hallsie said:


> Hey
> 
> i got married 4 weeks ago, !
> 
> ...


I can vouch for these people too - we got married on New Years Eve at St Audries (some of you may recognise my old sig!) and the staff there were brilliant!

The special offers are also REALLY good deal because all the venues they own are dedicated to weddings, and they basically want to fill every weekend or else they run at a loss. We chose a peak date so didn't get any discount, but we found out afterwards that the special offers can have as much as 60% off, plus they throw in loads of freebies!!!


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## p1tse (Sep 20, 2004)

once you have a date, photographers are a next big thing.

(looking myself), they are so pricey for a full day and only get album in the end on most, as many don't give all prints on dvd


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## Toshiba (Jul 8, 2004)

Planner - why do women put so much effort in to ruining a mans life?

Just pay the Â£50 at the registry office and go on a bender. If you do it right it will be a day you will never remember. :roll:


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## A3DFU (May 7, 2002)

Toshiba said:


> Planner - why do women put so much effort in to ruining a mans life?
> 
> Just pay the Â£50 at the registry office and go on a bender. If you do it right it will be a day you will never remember. :roll:


I agree with you.
33 years ago I "only" had a wedding at a registry office, followed by a meal at a nice restaurant, followed by having the wedding cake at my parents home.
My marriage lasted 31 years ............. well, 12 years really with me hanging on to an illusion for the other 19 years ...........

However, I think the money is better spent on a nice holiday for the young coupe, a down payment for a house or whatever, certainly NOT for a wedding!!!!


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## emzipoo4u (Sep 9, 2007)

We got engaged in April 2005 and got married in June 2005  
Planning a wedding is easy, just remember, its your day - its only 1 day and if its not perfect then so what! you have the rest of your lives together! Luckily We had a perfect wedding with only 8 weeks of preparation!

The key here is get your church/wedding venue and reception booked first. Next just make a list of everything you need in excel and deligate whereever you can... i.e. get the bridesmaids to sort hair appointments / dress fittings etc - get mum and dad organising the church etc.

You dont need to spend the earth, our wedding cost 5 k. We got married in church in the afternoon then had a buffet style wedding reception with a disco - people could just sit where they wanted, no messing about with table plans and our guest said it was the best wedding they had been to! 
The only worry I had was finding a dress, alot of the shops said it could take 6 weeks to get it adjusted properly.... load of nonsense, found a lovely local shop with friendly staff who were more than willing to accomodate the short time available.

Once everythings booked its up to your ushers to make sure everything runs smoothly, relax and enjoy the day..... its amazing!


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## emzipoo4u (Sep 9, 2007)

One Key Hint... delegate! Have your cheif bridesmaid sort out hair makeup etc. And your parents sorting cake/flowers etc. Once you have the big things booked up church/registry office/reception then the rest is easy. Just remember... its just one day.... it will be the best day of your life and if things dont go smoothly - so what! enjoy your day whatever happens! 

We got engaged in March 2005 and were married in June 2005!


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