# why English women hate Anal sex?



## vlastan

Can anyone explain me this?

It is only English women...all the other Europena women do know how to enjoy it together with their partners! At least I am very lucky that my wife is not English!

What about English boyz...do you like to give anal sex or do you find it dirty?

Lets see how many have the balls to reply to this thread!!


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## vagman

Hi Vlastan

Everyone to their own, however, as far as I am concerned you can stick anal sex up your shitter. :


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## vlastan

I guess you are not a fan! Well you don't know what you miss anyway!


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## Guest

I'm very anal about sex.


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## vlastan

what type of sex? Vaginal, anal, oral???

This is the flame room...don't be shy!


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## Guest

Vlastan - are you doing things to yourself while you read this?


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## vlastan

ha ha ha ha!! LOL!

No I don't, but this was very funny to hear. The problem is that I believe that English men are very prudish when they talk about sex and it is so much fun to tease you lot!

My best mate wouldn't talk about sex in the pub last time because they were two ladies sitting 10 feet away from us!!!


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## Guest

Well not all english men are shy, I should know. However, theres something a little bit hair-raising about talking about anal sex with a european man whose text has even got a strong accent.


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## StunTTman

vlastan, ever thought that English women just aren't keen on having anal sex *with you* ???


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## vlastan

I can assure you I haven't got a strong european accent. I have been in the UK for 12 years now. Ask StunTTman who met me in an event a few months back!

I still believe you are a typical prudish Englishman!


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## giles

" Ask StunTTman who met me in an event a few months back! "

I think that is taking it a bit too far - we really don't need to know that sort of thing.



Whatever you chose to do with your "event" is your business...........


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## vlastan

In this event back in Woburn Abbey I met a lot more people. I met StunTTman, Daniela, Danksy, SteveM etc...so it was so much fun...apart from the rain of course!

It was a genuine social gathering and has nothing to do with the heading of this thread as Giles implies!


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## Guest

> ...so it was so much fun...


C'mon - you KNOW you've got an accent!! ;D ;D


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## nutts

In my experience some women insist on it as simply part of normal sex. Some women are initially reticent regarding anal sex, but once introduced fall into category A. Very few women have never tried it. Most men don't like it (or say they don't like it), but then they may be too afraid to try it due to it's gay connotation, which is ridiculous.

All IMHO.

;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D


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## W7 PMC

No fucking way am i gonna reply and post my views on this thread :-X :-X You have no idea who may read it and as most of us have email addresses, imagine the spam this could generate.

Only opinion is "each to their own"


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## coupe-sport

:

Vlastan - very nice mate and glad you get the best of both worlds and love to tell others ... but doesnt your wife mind you telling lots of people she likes it via the backdoor... :-[

bit too much info really


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## reavil

Vlastan,

Do you have any photos?

Have you ever experimented with "Team Sex" as discussed in a previous post.

Will you and your wife be attending Beaulieu?


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## reavil

I think it's great that some one can openly discuss such a topic. The British are far too reserved.

Did I mention my hampster encounter?


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## vlastan

This is such an amusing thread...so far only Nutts had the balls and posted a very constructive message!!

I got the response I was expecting from you chaps. I don't blame you for this, that you consider this to be such a private issue which stays behind closed curtains.

I am happy to reply to each of your responses.

Paul Clarkson, there is no spam associated with this thread and I didn't get any. I have my email address here too and I trust I communicate with adults in this forum and not children!

Coupe-sport, you may be right that some people may be sensitive to admit this, but knowing how to enjoy sex is not a secret!

TT51YLE, you always maintain a funny attitude in this forum!  To answer your questions...we do yes have a digital camera but we are not swinging and we will not be coming to Beaulieu! Your second post was more serious and accurately reflecting my views about British folk (again I don't critise or blame anyone for this)


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## W7 PMC

Vlastan:

I totally disagree  anyone can come onto this Forum and have a look around. Our email addresses are in the public domain and therefore give anyone the opportunity to see the thread, take on board peoples preferences and act accordingly. How many times have you had porn pop-ups? I could end up getting all sorts of Anal Sex related stuff in my inbox (ouch). Imagine if one of the very senior people at the company i'm currently working with happened to own a TT and joined the Forum, or is already a member and he picked up this thread and noticed that perhaps W7 PMC aka Paul Clarkson loves fucking his lady friends up the arse, would that give a good impression in most cases?

Anal sex is a preffered taste and is something that would be openly talked about in the correct surroundings. My sexual preferences are not for public discussion as some people would smile and i'm sure some people would frown upon it. I do agree about some of the British being reserved about most sexual topics but just because we dont publically discuss something, does not mean we do or dont like it.

Maybe i'm playing devils advocate here, but if i posted a picture of my cock  would you want to look at it? i doubt it, but if i posted a picture of a beautiful naked woman then i'm sure most of the men would have a peak (vice versa for the ladies on the forum).

Over time we will no doubt all meet each other at TT meetings and drive outs, so i for sure don't want everyone on here knowing if i like slinging one up a womans shitter or not. My closest friends no doubt know my sexual preferences as i do theres (pissed up drinking banter etc.) But i would not go telling complete strangers what floats my boat in the sex department.

No issue with the thread and the above is my honest opinion, so i would expect some to agree and some to disagree, thats what makes this world a pretty interesting place.


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## doug

Valstin,

Of course it's dirty, it is after all a 32 foot tube filled with shite ... says it all really!

doug :-[


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## pgtt

im not interested on who shunts there misses rusty sheriffs badge...each to there own. I thought this forum was about TT enthusiats not ass fuckin


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## nutts

Don't lets forget that everyone's entitled to their own opinion, whether positive or negative view.

Most of the time most of the posters get on really well with a lot of friendly banter that makes the day a bit more amusing.

I think though that as more people (581 as of now, which I believe has more than doubled in the last 3 weeks) join the forum, the friendly little chat room that was, will no longer be. Hopefully it will still be friendly, but a large chat room.

We have people on this forum from all over the world (Oz, US, NZ, Germany, France, Spain, etc) and their tastes may not be "English" in nature, so we should all be mature enough to recognise this and adjust our reactions accordingly. Sauce for the goose isn't necessarily sauce for the gander, etc.

So boys and girls, lets play nice and all enjoy our TT's. That's THE main reason why we are all here, not flaming.

I'm sure we can all post something amusing without necessarily reacting strongly.

Remember it is a flame room and if someone wants to post then they are entitled to. You do not have to reply. Sometimes silence is a more effective response.......................So I should shut up.

All IMHO of course. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D


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## Steve_Mc

In the words of Ray Reardon, why take a difficult brown when you have an easy pink?

And while we're on the subject, how come so many men claim to have their "brown wings" and very women say they have done it. Either both sexes are lying, or else there are a few women around who are very free with their back door favours   

Steve


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## vlastan

A few more answers to all you chaps.

First of all I am not offended easily and I always appreciate people's view and respect them.

So as Doug thinks it is dirty...and it can be if this is the way you want to see it.

PGTT is wrong as this forum has a dedicated room for posting anything not related to TT. I would never have posted this in the normal TT forum.

And Paul I appreciate your view that it is a very personal matter and I didn't expect you to admit or say openly your preferences if you are not comfortable with this. Porn windows pop up only when you visit porn sites and I never had a porn pop up in the TT forum. And yes there are always risks for someone to see your thread from the office environment. The chances are small but they are there. For this reason I would never discuss this in the office either. But in this forum I am fairly anonymous and even if we meet in the future it doesn't mean that we will meet daily with other forum members as you do in the office.

Anyway, I honestly appreciate all people's views in this thread and I hope people didn't get upset but took it in a good manner.

Nutts as always offered a very constructive input and I should thank him for his mature approach.


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## nutts

Dip a de doo dah, dip idy day, my oh my what a wonderful day.

The sun has got his hat hip hip hip hooray, the sun has got his hat on and my godamn TT's still not fucking here!


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## W7 PMC

Vlastan:

Good points  I just think Anal Sex is alot more personal than conventional sex and maybe thats a very British view. Now if you'd asked me if i enjoyed having my cock sucked by any suitable lady friends, then my response would have been different "open wide" (i wish) or "the more the better". If you'd been refering to more conventional sexual practices, then i would have responded more openly.

I guess what i'm trying to say is that in my opinion, sex has been around for 000's years as thats how we all got here, oral sex has probably not been around as long, certainly in the same numbers as today, but anal sex would probably have been a very rare occurance in a hetrosexual relationship until maybe 15-20 years ago (no expert, so could be very wrong) as i can't imagine most of our parents doing it and their parents i would guess certainly did not pot the brown.

Don't think anyone here would be offended by this thread, as i'm sure we are all broad minded enough. I salute your honesty Vlastan and IMHO it took some balls to post it (no pun intended).

Ps. I've had porn pop ups on sites not connected in any way to porn. Not had any on hear, shame


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## vlastan

How would we know if our parents practise it??? If we all keep it secret it would be very difficult to know!

I think that Anal sex has been for a lot longer (but I can't speak for UK people). As I am originally from Greece I know it is quite common and I had two female friends casually admiting to it. They even told me "all the women like it!"

Actually there is a Greek expression that says that Anal sex is practised for 9 days during the fertile days of the female menstrual cycle. So instead of using a condom have anal sex!

Friends also told me that there is TV program in Greece where they always discuss about anal sex!

Anal sex is not a taboo! Why is it OK to talk about oral sex but not anal sex??? It is just that people are afraid to talk about it openly in this country as it is associated with being homosexual. This is the true.


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## Guest

I for one have done a bird in the harris. There, I said it. I feel free!!!


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## vlastan

What is the harris?

You just got some weight off you back then, didn't you Julian?


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## reavil

> rusty sheriffs badge


 - pgtt ;D

Puts a whole new perspective on the song, "I shot the sheriff"


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## ccc

Vlastan - you are SOOOOOOO funny!

You may not speak with much of an accent but by Christ you don't half write with one!!!!!

No offence: my Greek is non-existent :-*


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## vlastan

Thanks ccc, I always adore compliments from ladies!!

I also forgot to mention the best bit. I was about 19 years old when my grandmother decided to talk to me about Anal sex! She said to me not to ever ask my future wife to have it or if she would ask for it to refuse it to do as it was not normal!!


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## Ruffles

Bwaahahaha! What a thread.

I'm not British and don't have reservations about talking candidly about anything except my credit rating.

As for anal sex I would have to say that it's not top of my list of priorities but if the lady wanted then I would be happy to oblige as I would in most things in bed. It's got to be fun.

As I like oral lots, anal is normally out due to the strange aftertaste.

Shouldn't this be in off topic rather than flame?


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## reavil

I read as far as "grandmother"... then stopped reading :-/


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## W7 PMC

TT51 YLE: RAOFLMAO ;D

julian_blowseed: Well done mate 

Vlastan: If i find out that my dad fucked my mum up the arse, then i'll rip his fucking head off  poor mummy, there there.

It must to a certain degree, be an aquired taste and each to their own. I for one can't abide watching Anal Sex in a porn film, much prefer to see vaginal or oral.

So i can concentrate on other stuff and as i now feel a little more comfortable with this thread, i'm going to come out and say, i have partaken in a touch of feminine butt fuck, but cant say it did much for me and i certainly prefer to go oral &/or vaginal. Another point is that only one ex-girlfriend has ever asked for it, so i dont agree that most women enjoy it and when the subject has been raised with other ex-girlfriends, its usually a no-go area.


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## vlastan

which country are you from Ruffles?

LOL one after the other come with more revealing news!!! That's my boyz...you make me proud now!!

But some like it some don't....it will always be personal thing!

TT51YLE...what can I say about you? Paul said it already!


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## reavil

> If i find out that my dad fucked my mum up the arse, then i'll rip his fucking head off poor mummy, there there.


RAOFLMAO ;D

This topic is quite possibly the funniest thing I've seen in years, I literally have tears running down my face.

Thanks vlastan, I'm not laughing at you, just the replies and reactions from others. I respect your open mindedness and honesty. I wish my conversations down the pub were as funny as this ;D


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## vlastan

I love it too!!

Paul,

Just to inform you that in order to have anal sex you would need to have the concent of the lady! You can't just "Force it in"!!

So if you parents were practising it, then your mum must have agreed to it!! So you better leave your dad alone and deal with your mum instead!!


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## danksy

What you do behind closed door is your own business, message to anyone who plays football with this guy.. don't drop the soap in the showers afterwards.

Brown or Pink as Steve Davies once said. One up the bum no harm done etc. etc.

Now is this really the place for this type of thread? *flame suit on*


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## doug

;D Of course this should be in Off Topic but he is from Barce... ooops l mean Greece and he's got it the wrong way round again . Flame Room only for getting things off chest and not up .......! :

Surely this is a Friday thread! 

doug


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## Guest

Never having tried it....I have to innocently ask this question:

Do you have to ask the Bird what she had for Dinner/Lunch first?

I can imagine that a Vindaloo may make things a bit awkward, if not properly digested?


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## reavil

I have one thing to say that puts me off...

*Sesame seeds*


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## W7 PMC

Vlastan:

My mummy would never have agreed to anything like that, so i'll be holding my dad totally responsible if anal sex ever took place between them


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## nutts

Bearing in mind most peoples reticence towards this subject matter, we've still had 43 posts! In modern times beaten only by "Fucking Censorshit pile of Wank" and "A Bloke with a TT". Hall of fame time perhaps.

Or is hall of fame for 100 posts+


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## reavil

... and 542 views in less than 24 hours!

Must be the closet gang :


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## Guest

Well, I just asked my Mother about it, and apparently, she Loves it!!!

My Dad said that he tried it once, but it made his ring sore... :-[


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## vlastan

OK boyz I have to reply to some of you again:

Danksy: You are such a spoilt sport! We met before at Woburn Abbey and you just refer to me like "this guy"! What is the matter with you Nick? Also I don't play football and my mates use shower gel...so no soap slip ups!

Doug: this is the correct place for this issue I have. I am trying to identify why English women hate Anal sex and I am trying to take it off my chest...and stick it somewhere else!! Shame no ladies expressed any views...they must all be hidind behind their computer screens!!

Mad Johnny: I can see you are a new chap to this forum and very inexperienced!! I think your questions are a bit delicate to be tackled in this forum...but use your common sense and...experiment!! And tell your dad to behave more manly next time...sore ring...what is it made of???

TT51YLE: the more sesame seeds you put on the way, the more the fun!!!

Can some ladies come out and share some views with us please?

So lets see how far we can get this popular thread then!! I am very surprised that famous people like Kevin, Jampo and kmpowell didn't say anything yet...do you know too much chaps and afraid to share it with us then?

))


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## danksy

Not so much a spoilsport but can't remember who you are :.

Were you in the dilemma of changing from a VW Passat at the time?


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## vlastan

You really don't remember me? We were only about 15 people in total there. I was sitting 3 seats on your left next to StunTTman.

I am still willing to change my Passat for a TT but my wife says that she will divorce me if I do so! So I have a little problem. I was thinking about ordering a new TT in 2 weeks. Any help you can offer?


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## danksy

Dark hair, glasses right?


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## vlastan

Halelujah!!! YES this is me!!


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## S-Line

Mr Vlastan, :-*

I think you are very open minded, you believe that british women are not open minded when it comes to anal sex.

How many british women have you asked in your time over here? 

As a young woman living in modern times, we talk and share our views with our partners, we have very open attitudes towards sex. 

If my partner posted any of our sexual expolits on this or any other forum his sexual favours would be revoked for many months!! :-[ :'(

This makes me a prude in your world!!  Oh come on if I was to post my sexual preferences the posts and views would hit a all time record, I could guarentee that!! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

All this talk about anal sex is making me quite HORNY!! .....

and Rods working late... oh bugger :-/

lov you all Clair


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## vlastan

Hi Clair,

I am so pleased to get a lady's view on this...you must be the coolest English lady in this forum and perhaps the whole England!!

I am very pleased to find another open minded person sharing my views and who knows how to explore your sexuality to its limits. It is also nice to see you are prepared to do everything to achieve the ultimate sexual gratification...and this makes you special in here!!!

I didn't intend to discuss all my sexual preferences in here, but I just picked up a small item which is considered fairly taboo in England. I mean just read what the other people posted here and you will realise how correct I am.

I am sure all the males will get really agitated to read the "horny" bit of your posting. I am more excited to meet a fellow open minded lady!

Perhaps, I will meet you at the NEC if I make it on Sunday!

Thanks for posting and opening some peoples minds!!


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## W7 PMC

Clair: Well said  Will Rod be with you at the NEC on Saturday    See you Saturday.

Vlastan: Good response  May see you Saturday as well?


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## vlastan

Clair seems to be really cool person!

Paul, I may be going on Sunday...are you there only on Saturday?


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## W7 PMC

Vlastan: My ticket is only for Saturday, as until earlier this week, i was going to do the Wales drive out on the Sunday, but for a couple of reasons i can't do the Wales drive now anyway (details in the Wales drive out thread).

I'm gonna be at Beaulieu for sure, tickets paid for and hotel for Saturday night booked.


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## vlastan

This thread set the flame room in fire! In 24 hours since I started this thread and received over 50 postings and over 700 people read it. Only the "Bloke by TT" exceeded this in a 24 hours.

Who says ANAL SEX doesn't sell in the UK??

)))))))))))))))


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## StunTTman

Ah, this thread has turned serious and informative since I posted flippantly last night. Good stuff, one and all!

Got me thinking whether there's a distinction between TTR and TTC owners - i.e.

TT*R* = Ring
TT*C* = Cunt (you know...)

I'm a TTC owner. 'Nuff said!


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## vlastan

Dan,

I never understood you first posting yesterday!!

So you are the doodah man then?? Well apart from the c word, can someone explain me what the hell this word means?

Interesting observation the TTC and TTR...but they are both so close together...you go for the one and you end up to the other by accident!!


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## donny

Well I take it you have not visited North of Hadrians wall yet Dont ask questions tell no lies


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## vlastan

The Northest part I have visited in the country(UK) is Manchester! So I haven't been that north yet!


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## vagman

StunTTman

As you can see, I am a TTC man myself.

This thread has reminded be of an old saying from around these parts.

Q. What is the similarity between oral sex and politics

A. One slip of the tongue and your in the shit. ;D ;D


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## donny

What on earth do you mean Vagman


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## vlastan

vagman,

Very wise saying...never heard this before! But Politics is always full of shit anyway!!!


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## mike_bailey

I haven't fully read this topic because of all the shit surrounding it at the end but would it be regarded as a sticky topic in forum terms?


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## vagman

Donny

Couldn't think of any arse sex jokes. 

Maybe there are none ???


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## Ruffles

Vlastan

I was born and dragged up in Barbados but I have spent more of my life in Britain than anywhere else.

Fuck knows how a West Indian ended up in Estonia. Go figure. I am probably certifiable.

But my opinions are indistinguishable from fact. 8)


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## mike_bailey

ooh, that reminds me, I must ring my wife.


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## garyc

The thing is, they don't all hate it :-X


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## reavil

1000 views!

A very anal retentive topic me thinks!


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## Ruffles

My fencing instructor's girlfriend was into anal sex in a big way.

I embarassed myself one evening by blurting out that I didn't see how anyone could enjoy that. There was this curious silence and then she said "...well ... actually... I do".

I was a little shocked as I didn't expect it.

Anyway, it turned out that she was real keen and had persuaded her bloke to take a walk on the wild side every now and then. He said he still didn't particularly like it but would do it for her when asked. Mind you, he was an ex soldier so I suppose he was familiar with that sort of thing.


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## Lisa.

Yuk!
Agreed to try it a while ago and all i can say is I didn't like it.
and it felt like i was having a rather large poo :-[

Where's the passion in that?

BL


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## vlastan

Ruffles,

Never say anything to upset people about their personal preferences! This lady shut you up for good when she said she liked it a lot!! It must have been amazing for her admitting it so openly that she likes it!! And I can only imagine your jaw dropping and looking at her puzzled!!

Barely legal, thanks for your contribution as another lady of this forum...Anal sex is more about pleasure not passion....there are many nerve endings around the anus and you can easily get an orgasm from it. I also have to admit that the man doing it to a lady should be gentle initially and not go for full on penetration...all these are secrets of the trade and they contribute to sexual pleasure for both partners!!!

)


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## Lisa.

Pleasure or passion, whatever. It is still not nice.

Don't you get poo on your thingy? eeek!

Secrets of the trade?? what trade would that be then?

No can't say I'll be trying it again.

Clair sounds like a girl that likes a good rodding however!

BL


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## doug

Mon Dieu! Wonder if Our Brenda ( The Queen  ) has/had to fight off a rearguard action from Phil ( The Greek ) ? 

This Greek farce/trajedy probably explains why they have seperate bedrooms. :-/

doug


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## nutts

Man, this thread is great! Better than watching French pay TV!

Well maybe not. 

Hall of fame hear we come.........................


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## S-Line

BL

Thanks for your comments ;D, obviously you were the girl who had her home work in on time and sat at the front of the class judging by your idea of a good night out!!  

As many times mentioned on this forum, everyone is an individual and has a right to their own opinion. :-/

I respect your rights, and I expect the same in return. 

Have fun! ;D

Clair.


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## vlastan

BL,

You are really funny!!! Poo on my thinky? It is the same with vagina sex...you get piss and other things on your thingy!!

Aparently, if you don't enjoy it you shouldn't do it then. So far two ladies in this forum replied..one for one against it!

At least BL, the good thing is that you did try it and you didn't enjoy it...so you can judge for yourself and make a decision based on your own experience. Fair point!

And I was joking about the "secrets of the trade" comment.

I can also see that you and Clair are two different girls!

I was just reading a Greek article on the web....Athens has a shortage of prostitutes for the next Olympic games and the Greek government wants to recruit more ASAP....any takers! Just imagine all this sun and blue skies of Athens...a dream come true!!!


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## pgtt

haven't tried any ''cave action'' yet, sorry doug


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## vlastan

PGTT,

Don't worry mate...you are still young...your time will come too. Just look for a Greek bird if you can!


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## pgtt

it would have to be an english lass, greek women dont shave it would be like going into the amazon, just hope there is no mud slide either


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## nutts

.......talking of hairy birds.........One of my mates who absolutely detests the sight of any ladies with an unruly main, once found one, part way through some mutual pleasure action. He promptly ordered a cab (actually not sure he did) and asked her to leave straight-away. Now THAT's going to far. I mean most girls like to keep themselves regularly tidied up, but hey, just because she forgets for a couple of months............... ;D


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## Lisa.

Clair,

Actually you're right Â and Â I'm wearing my school uniform right now. :-* incy wincy skirt and shirt tied at the waist.

Must dash, I don't want to miss chemistry else I could be in detention again. 

Fancy calling me a spice girl fan, that really hurt, you big bully you 

Whats the matter isn't this forum big enough for the two of us. ???

BL


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## vlastan

Ladies,

Can we please go back to this important issue called Anal Sex? I mean Cat fights and anal sex don't match very well in this thread!!

The forum is big enough for all of us!! All tastes can be catered for!!

)

BL Do you have a photo of you wearing a school uniform? I am sure you must look Yummy in it!!


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## pgtt

nothing worse than having clock springs stuck in your throat after some carpet munchin,


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## nutts

Clair / BL

If us guys got together and hired a mud wrestling ring, would be so kind as to have a mud wrestle?

Naked of course.................................


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## Guest

Maybe the gay community could enlighten us to the pros and cons I'm sure there must be a vast expanse of experience and knowledge there.........!


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## nutts

> Maybe the gay community could enlighten us to the pros and cons I'm sure there must be a vast expanse of experience and knowledge there.........!


Calling all TTR drivers..............................he he he he he    ;D ;D


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## vlastan

Mungo...NO WAY!!

Homosexuals should not express their views as they are disadvantaged...i.e. they cannot have Vaginal sex as they don't have one and therefore they have a limited choice!

For this reason only ladies and of course heterosexuals should express their views on this topic.

Also, I wouldn't expect many homosexual men to be in this forum and own a TT. A TT is a MAN'S TOY!!


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## Lisa.

That's very sexist!
It's a girl toy too!

Mud wrestling isn't that along the same lines as Fudge-packing?

I would have to bring my own partner as the one you've selected for me doesnt seem to be my type!

BL


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## reavil

Oh... how us blokes long for that mouse ear feeling


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## Lisa.

Seriously folk

Getting poo on your thingy is not a good idea.
There are obviously lots of bacteria round the anal passage and this will go up your urethra into your bladder.
Your could easily get a bladder infection such as cystitis, which is quite uncommon in men as a mans's urethra is ( usually) Â longer than a womens. If you do get cystitis and visit a doctor with your urine sample, they may wink at you as theres a good chance you've been fudge-packing!....... and you could easily then pass the infection to your lady friend( if she hasn't already got it by you sticking it in both holes!)

Urine, on the other hand is normally serile, there are no micro-organisms such as bacteria present.

Why not try something safer like golden showers instead then?

and before you ask, no I haven't. Â

BL


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## vlastan

BL

What I meant to say was that the TT is an heterosexual's man's toy!! Of course girlies must have their fun too!!


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## vlastan

Ah barely legal!!

I already discussed this with my GP!!

Men are not normally get infections this way as it is a long way to reach the bladder. I mean the distance can be up to 30 cms (depending on the length of your instrument). And the body has ways of killing the bacterias before they travel that far inside your body!

Never had an infection this way!

Of course women should be more careful with this as they are more at risk...but still healthy women never get any problems, from my personal experience!

Finally, you don't really get poo on your thing as normally the female must have empty bowels!

I think your hygien reasons are not an issue and you are worried more than actually enjoying yourself!!

Are you in a medical profession by any way?

Golden showers...what is the fun on this? Unless you introduce some friction where it matter then I don't think they can do much! But again...I never tried it..far too messy for the bed matress!!!


----------



## coupe-sport

oh for fucks sake... :


----------



## vlastan

Coupe sport

I guess you are not a fan then!!


----------



## garyc

> oh for fucks sake... Â :


Correct. This Flame thread has lost it's spark, although I am impressed with Vlastans chat up technique. I presume he knows that in all liklihood he could chatting up a welder from Kettering or indeed Mr Blowseed under another pseudo name.


----------



## vlastan

Gary C,

People are free to post anywhere they feel they have to say something.

I am sure when the majority of people will feel like you do they will stop reading this thread and stop posting to it and let it RIP.

For me personally, it has been a hell of a ride and I have neglected my business requirements...just don't tell my boss!!

I also think that coupe-sport was more touched by the delicate hygien issue that was touched!!


----------



## JAC

OK, so I've tried it twice with consenting ladies; although strangely always when we've both been out on the lash! Never sobber...hmmmm.

Anyway, first time was a little messy - we discovered teh next day. A friends guest room so hey ho. Although we did wash the bedding in their machine before they got up, anyway......

2nd time with out issue.

So I guess I've got my "Brown Wings" - never heard that before. It's not high on my agenda, I have to say. Although Vlastans right about nerve endings....
"It wasn't the grass that tickled ya arse it was my little finger....." 

I've been told, by different woman, that I'm good with my hands - must be true then! :


----------



## Guest

Fucking hell!!!!!

I've only just found this flame room, and can't believe that I missed it before.

Until now, most of my time on this site has been spent reading posts on boring shite like what bloody oil to use (like I give a fuck) and creaking noises coming from beind (quite relevant to this topic actually). But, now I have actually discovered a post that I have a genuine interest in.

Well done Vlastan for raising it. And, for people who criticise such a subject being discussed in public, I think the number of views/replies speaks for itself.


----------



## vlastan

tango

I think the secret desire for a lot of people is there...but afraid to tell others!!

I still think that engine oil and creaking noises are considered an important issue in the UK TT forum...I mean the common interest about the TT brought people together in here.

This is a bit of a side plate to spice up some peoples lifes a bit!!

Are you male or female and do you own a TT....and most importantly what is your view on Anal Sex?


----------



## vlastan

Ok then...this topic goes stronger all the time and new people add to this. As I started this thread in the first place I am going to create a competition!!

The first person to write the 150th post will win a special prize. The prize will have to be related to the topic, i.e. anal sex! So keep posting!


----------



## reavil

I'm scared :'(


----------



## vlastan

don't be afraid little boy!! It's OK!


----------



## Guest

Vlastan,

I am definitely not afraid to tell others about my desire for anal sex. I just wish I had the opportunity to partake in it more often (I'm male in case you hadn't already guessed).

And, yes I do own a TT and I apologise, as I didn't mean to undermine the importance of the everyday issues that TT drivers face. I actually take great pleasure out of reading the TT forum on a regular basis. But, I have to admit, if I found a UK anal sex forum , you wouldn't see me for dust!


----------



## JAC

I'm curious ??? No I don't mean it like that.....no...NO...NOOOOO..... ooooh! : LOL


----------



## reavil

> don't be afraid little boy!! It's OK!


really scared :'( :'( :'(


----------



## Guest

Is the special prize in any way related to the topic?

??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ???


----------



## coupe-sport

> The first person to write the 150th post will win a special prize


A date with u Valastan and a special treat ??? 

I'm intrigued...


----------



## reavil

Accually I do own this website...

http://www.craftybutcher.com

registered it as a joke one night whilst pissed with friends


----------



## vlastan

How do you know that you are so analy advance then and this web site is registered by you? Prove it!

I mean you still haven't told us much about your views on this subject!

The prize is not a date with me...it is a sexual tool designed to give pleasure to your partners that like Anal sex!!

I say no more...


----------



## Guest

No point me winning then.

That'll go down about as well as the deep fat fryer that I bought her for her last birthday.


----------



## garyc

> Gary C,
> 
> People are free to post anywhere they feel they have to say something.
> 
> I am sure when the majority of people will feel like you do they will stop reading this thread and stop posting to it and let it RIP.


100% true V. And you ARE ENJOYING this thread I know. My point was that the flame content is actually very low


----------



## PIPTT

this really is a top thread : trust the prize will still have the cellophane on Vlastan


----------



## vlastan

Tango,

you can't be serious about getting a deep fat fryer for a girlfriend!!

I am sure she went anal at you with this!!

So I guess you are still single looking for another partner then?


----------



## vlastan

The criterias to win the prize are:

1) Be the person to post the 150 post
2) Have a sexual partner who is mad about anal sex!

...and I haven't met a lot of you here that can match the second criterion!! Unless of course you haven't told us yet!!


----------



## speedfreak

: Guys you crack me right up.

I am now much wiser about all of you know.

I am seriously considering a trip to the 'Ring now.

Who's up for a quick blast around the 'Ring?

By the way why have women got both holes so close together?

So that when they are drunk you can carry them home like a six-pack of beer!!!!

As for geting the taste for Anal I leave that to the wife afterwards.!!!!


----------



## reavil

vlastan, like I've said this is a very amusing topic, did you really expect a sensible and constructive reply from everyone? Maybe it's me and admittedly immature sense of humour (farting makes laugh) Some people have found this subject taboo and stayed away, others have shown an interest and some joked around. All differing attitudes, towards what is, a generally "taboo" subject

I do own that website...

http://checkdomain.activeisp.com/ta...sp0&PartnerNR=&BCType=NETSCAPE&BCVersion=4.00


----------



## Guest

Vlastan,

She stayed with me even after the deep fat fryer. Although, only after I satisfied her fetish for sex in public places. But, even outdoors, she still won't take it up the dirtbox.


----------



## reavil

I'm never going to be able to have sex in a doggy style fashion again, the "rusty sheriffs badge" comment has scarred me for life and I'd just end up laughing to much!


----------



## pgtt

sorry if i have put you off..........i shot the sherfiff


----------



## Ruffles

What did you do to the deputy though. That's what we'd all like to know.


----------



## pgtt

i sent him off nugget mining with vlastan


----------



## Ruffles

Vlastan

Good point about not upsetting people but you can't keep your opinions to yourself all the time.

I mean, if you think Sven Ericsson is a prat and someone else doesn't that's no reason not to say so. Why is a sexual subject so different?

I am a lot more open minded these days but I do love a good heated debate and quite often take extreme stances just to excite an argument.

Sex is not off the menu for joking about or having an open debate. And it really doesn't matter if you or anyone doesn't agree with me. Actually it's far better. It shouldn't be some sacred cow that we are so repressed about that we can't even bear that someone else would have a different view. I suppose the fear is that we would start to worry that we weren't "normal".

Just let go. There's nowt so queer as folk.

I wouldn't have it any other way... all part of the rich but threadbare tapestry of life.


----------



## reavil

Err... what if the Scooby and MGF forums get to know about this. It could be hard to explain, in that it might not be up their alley?


----------



## Widget

My lass let me slip her one up the chocolate starfish once. And like Barely_Legal she said it felt like she needed a 'Forrest'. Needless to say, blatant refusal from that day forth. But saying that, I am more of a furry axe wound fan.

Vlastan, championship winning thread!

So what's the best oil then?


----------



## vlastan

Widget,

As long as people are prepared to have an open mind and try things, it is perfectly fine. If at the end they don't find it an interesting experience you cannot force them to repeat it.

As far as the best oil is concerned...Olive oil of course!! The extra Virgin type that comes from the Olive trees of Peloponise!!!


----------



## Guest

Is that VW503.01 or VW503.00 virgin oil?

And does it depend on whether you are on fixed or variable servicing?


----------



## vlastan




----------



## nutts

Vlastan,

Is the competition prize a "Jessica" by any chance? : 8) 8)


----------



## vlastan

I can't tell you now!

But what the hell is a "Jessica" anyway?


----------



## Hairy

One thing's for sure.. everyone's going to be a little more careful on the main forum with comments about "got her back end out the other day".. ;D

Haven't really bothered with the Flame Room before.. think that I'll have to start looking in future!

No basketball jokes yet, then? :


----------



## vlastan

*HAIRY*

How do you prefer you women...*HAIRY* or shaved then? 

I am very pleased to find that you discovered the secret pleasures of the flame room!!


----------



## Guest

;D ;D ;D

Vlastan,

I've only undertaken this ritual once, but may I say, your Mum was CLASS !


----------



## vlastan

Ritual??? Hmmm!!! So I guess you didn't enjoy it then? What about the lass then?

How come your mum never taught you how to be a "good boy"? ))))


----------



## Carlos

Oh my god. Hadn't looked into this forum for a couple of days.

Not sure about how I feel about this ???

I don't know whether this flame room is a good idea...its nice to be able to say fuck, but when you've got 14 pages of responses to "why english women hate anal sex" you know you're in trouble.

Don't get me wrong, I do find this thread amusing, but does anyone else also find it a teensy bit disturbing...? I am not a prude and would (and do) openly discuss such subjects with my friends over a beer, but not on a public internet forum...


----------



## vlastan

Carlos,

Your name doesn't sound English to me, so where are you from?

Why don't you open wide your mind and see around?

I am sure there are a lot of people in your position, but I don't blame them. I don't expect everyone to be as open as me and I respect people's boundaries.

Shame you can't share your views about Anal sex with us :-(

The internet is brilliant because it is anonymous and people don't know you...it gives you the freedom to express yourself.

Anal sex is not something to be ashamed of and nobody should feel that way. Also people should stop associating with homosexual relationships because then they become narrow minded.

I have met some of the people posting in this forum and I find they have a professional and mature attitude. We are all adults here, don't forget this!!


----------



## nutts

Vlastan

Couldn't find aproper picture of a Jessica Rabbit, but the following url should point you to a close alternative

http://www.annsummers.co.uk/pages/catFrameset.html

Hope this helps


----------



## vlastan

I do know Jessica Rabbit. But is the Jessica you refer too an inflatable doll?

The link you sent me is only of lingerie!!


----------



## Hairy

The nickname refers to the good ol' "follicle" days when the mane was black, and - in the main - the hair was black ;D

There are easier ways to floss one's teeth (apologies to the ladies!) but I have been pursuaded in the past..

In Army parlace, what you're referring-to (BTW) is "trap two" (widely known phrase.. don't ask!); the "ladies" in question have their own ideas..


----------



## Major Audi Parts Guru

Up the gary glitter


----------



## NickP

fnar fnar!

Up the rusty sheriffs badge
the Chocolate Baloon Knot
the brown towl holder
the hershey highway
the Bournville Boulevard

Any more? ;D


----------



## jampott

AKA "up the morgan"

quite a subtle one - "Morgan Stanley Dean Witter" 

and very topical, what with living in Wales.....

or the good old favourite:

"up the marmite motorway" (double meaning, as I guess you either love it or hate it!)


----------



## Widget

Ref: Widget's Theory on Marmite

I've tried proving this before. In every couple one of you loves it, and one of you hates it ;D :-/


----------



## NickP

I also like
Chocolate Speedway Rider

and

Uphill Gardener


----------



## vlastan

The marmite motorway is my favourite!

I am amazed on how much someone car learn about Anal sex slang by reading the TT forum web site!!

)


----------



## NickP

On the chocolate theme,

I forgot...the Galaxy Gateway!


----------



## NickP

And how could I forget my favourite...

The barking spider!


----------



## mike_bailey

Also, probably the longest thread ever - people here have been wasting their lives here pretending to be interested in the TT when in fact they just wanted to discuss the "bournville boulevard" :-*


----------



## Hairy

Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh!

Get an e-mail saying that the thread's been updated.. stare at an advert for four bloody minutes waiting to see if the rest of the HTML is going to arrive.. and no update!

Is it me (or ntl's Inktomis), or is this thread diabolically slow?!?


----------



## Widget

Congratulations Hairy ;D

I believe there's something coming your way 

Vlastan unveil the prize!


----------



## pgtt

add a few more, marmite picker, back end of a battery,


----------



## vlastan

Hairy,

As you posted the 150th post on my thread you should be awarded a prize!

But....if I remember right (correct me if I am wrong) you said that your partner is not so much interested in Anal Sex and the prize will only be wasted in your hands!!

Waiting for your response on this before I unveil the prize. If I am correct the prize will go to the person that will post the 200 message on this thread!


----------



## maddott

Never fancied the ringpiece antics myself----but each to their own
Reminds me of 2 friends encounters with this caper.
Friend 1 brought home a gorgeous 21 year old one night, and left her downstairs while he went for a pee.
When he came back down, she was on all 4's, clad in full combat tackle, shouting "Fire it up ma arse", after he had obliged, he pulled out his whelk, to find a pyramid of sheckt stuck on his jap, which he wiped on her garter belt!!
Friend 2 nipped an Ausi bird at a party.
After filling her with cheap wine, dragged her off to bed, where she said to him "You'll have to root me up the shitter, I'm on the blood" !!!!!!!!!!!!!
Any wonder it's not my bag


----------



## W7 PMC

Vlastan:

Superb, 10 out of 10 for what has got to be the funniest thread ever posted on this forum. I may have one the funniest quote prize, but you for sure win the funniest thread prize.

Ps. I tend to like mine with a slight bush, but nothing horticultural, but a nice bald one tastes better.


----------



## doug

Crickey Maddott, going out to a birthday dinner this evening, wish l'd waited to read your post ..yuk! Just how far up the evolutionary tree ( no pun intended ) have some of us evolved? 

doug


----------



## maddott

Me-------I'm still at grass roots ---no pun intended!


----------



## vagman

Hey Maddot, I liked your little anecdotes, especially re bird #1, however, I would like to take issue over your spelling of sheckt.

I would spell it thus, shecht . Note the "ch" as in loCH rather than your "sh" as in SHit.


----------



## wendi

Maybe what Vlastan is trying to tell us is that he'd like to meet a nice young man!
Now, now, there's no need to over compensate!!


----------



## Emmy

Oh.. my... god...

I take it the next meet will be, ahm, interesting? Think I'm scared to attend now!! How many of you guys are gonna be at Beaulieu again? 

S.


----------



## maddott

Ooooops


----------



## Hairy

Vlastan,
I was too much of a gentleman to comment.

And I'm really not kidding about the time taken to load a page! Am I the {i}only{/i} one..?


----------



## vlastan

I got back from the NEC and I come back to find some interesting posts from some of you. So I plan to deal with each one of them now!

Maddott

I am sure these ladies didn't quite express their preferences for Anal sex in the way you describe. And the fact that the other woman was menstruating was quite understandable to request Anal Sex...where is the scary bit here. As for your other friend "soiling" his penis with excrement...normally you do have a wash following sex don't you...so why not with Anal Sex too then?

W7PMC

Thanks a lot mate...shame we didn't manage to meet at the NEC yesterday for chat. I had a great time today with Daniela, Rod and Clair (or Clair and Rod!!), Shash and his little cousin.

Wendi,

I am dissilusioned with your post! You met me at Woburn Abbey in the past but we didn't get the chance to get a chat and know each other better. You would have known that you are wrong here. I am sure other people that I spent my day at the NEC today will confirm that I am a perfectly normal person, i.e. heterosexual and not interested in homosexual sex. Why do you ALWAYS British people have to associate Anal Sex with homosexuality???? WHY?

Emmy

You know I am a good guy...sorry I had to go today without saying good bye but you were not at the Audi Club stand when I had to go.

Hairy

I get you are a bit shy to admit something? Well unless you come out you get no prize!!! The page loads a bit slow as there are so many posts attached to it!

So I am waiting your comments back especially Wendi's!


----------



## Guest

Oh vlastan you big lovely greek! Have you taken time to watch airplanes? This is much better than anal sex to we British! How come you Greeks don't like it? We love to especially make love just as Concorde flys over our little cottages!! The earth moves! And the sky! Sphincters be damned! We love to take illicit pictures of your junky little impotent planes and show it to each other, while waiting for maybe crashes to happen in our back gardens! You will never know, will you...


----------



## vlastan

TTantrix,

I can see this is your your first post and I believe you are one of the established posters here but for some reason you don't won't to identify yourself! I wonder why?

Actually you are wrong about watching planes. There are Greek people that like watching planes and I used to be one of them! I used to live 1 mile away from the Athens airport and I used to go the the landing/take off strip. It is awesome to see a massive Boeing ready to take off or land a few metres away from you. But it was always civil planes and I was not interested in keeping registration numbers.

I am sorry to tell you but you really do know very little about us Greeks!


----------



## Hairy

Vlastan,
"Airplane" screams "Yank" to me.. the only "Airplane" that the average Brit knows about is the film of the same name.

Concorde we all know about - especially us in the Reading area!

Back to the other comments - not being shy, just refuse to confirm/deny.. 

One happy note, though - this page only took a couple of seconds to load, rather than four-six minutes..


----------



## Hairy

MadoTT,
Just noticed the new graphics - you ain't after my chicken, are you? ;D


----------



## vlastan

Hairy,

Your chicken looks in big SHIT trouble!! You better land it in order to avoid any "anal interaction"


----------



## stewart

Hairy -

Looks like you need a **rear gunner** to avoid being turd burgled !








;D


----------



## maddott

Hairy------My boys are gonna take him from the rear


----------



## Major Audi Parts Guru

Compare it to a game of snooker,you go for the tight brown as opposed to the easy pink


----------



## Guest

""Airplane" screams "Yank" to me.. the only "Airplane" that the average Brit knows about is the film of the same name."

Hairy,

I'll never stop being amazed at how perceptive you Brits are to our futile attempts at humour!  Yep, I'm a Yank! Must be all the pub quizzes?  Have you really made 800 posts? Golly!

Vlastan,

Cheers for the entertaining thread! Maybe I don't know much about you Greeks, but I have chosen to disbeleive most of what I've heard! I'm a big fan of Greece from about 2000 BC to 80 BC and hope someday to do some excavating! ;D


----------



## Ruffles

Yo Vlastan!

Where do you stand on snowballing or feltching then?

How about groups?

Ever joined in a spit roast?


----------



## coupe-sport

Lets not bring up Felching... eugh ! 

rgds


----------



## jampott

trust Chris to lower the tone......

my only question is, what is "snowballing"? ???


----------



## vlastan

...and what is feltching??


----------



## coupe-sport

Vlastan - i'm dissapointed in you. With your superior knowledge on all things anal i would have thought you would know... :

And no i'm not going to explain it... but eugh again :-X

rgds


----------



## reavil

Doesn't snowballing require two consenting ladies?

And would they still be ladies?


----------



## Hairy

Just looked at the definition for "snowballing"

Leaves a bad taste in yer mouth just thinking about it 

Thought it was more on the lines of:


----------



## vlastan

Coupe Sport

Feltching is not a word that I came across before. Apologies for my ignorance but I have to admit that I do not know all English slang words!

Hairy

Nice snow statue...but unfortunately out of scope for this thread....it appears to be vaginal sex!!


----------



## v1teo

Shite... (no pun intended)I've just got to the last page of the thread.

I've just spent ages reading every post from start to finish, and have been absolutely pissing myself laughing. Absolutely wicked thread vlastan....

I'm not going to admit to everyone on this forum if i've got my brown wings, because i'm just too prudish. My parents are from Malaysia, where Sodomy is an imprisonable offence. I was there a few weeks ago, and the Prime Minister was saying to a reporter that no homosexual MP's were welcome to his country :-[

btw, talking about wings, has anyone got their metal wings?....... apparantly that's doing it with someone in a wheelchair. I've definately NOT got those 

Vince


----------



## vlastan

VITEO,

You now leave in a free country!! The "forbidden fruit" is always more interesting and people try to taste it.

Anyway, I personally do not consider Anal Sex as Sodomy but another way to introduce more pleasure to your sexual life!

I fully respect your privacy and I thank you for reading this long thread and for enjoying doing so. I am sure it was well invested time!!

Never heard about metal wings before. Does this means doing sex with someone on a wheelchair because they are disabled? And would this involve any type of sex?

Enjoy life as much as you can away from Malaysia's restrictive legislation!


----------



## Guest

Does this mean that there is also such a thing as rusty metal wings? ??? ???


----------



## v1teo

If you two guys EVER step off a plane in Malaysia, and I swear they're gunna chuck you both straight into jail ;D ;D

Vince

(and I bet you can imagine the kind of people you'll be sharing a cell with)


----------



## Guest

Vince

No, I can't imagine the sort of people that I would be banged up with. But, if like you say, the subject of this thread is so taboo over there, then at least I will have no worries about bending over to pick up the soap in the showers.

Seriously though, I cannot see why it is so frowned upon. To go back to the snooker analogy, there was a guy who was appalled when his mate opted for the brown when the pink was tied up. Right shot I would say. I know people who would go for a tricky red instead, which I would definitely consider to be a foul shot.


----------



## vlastan

Travelling to Malaysia for us will have to be incognito!

I have no ambitions to visit Malaysia at present so I should be OK for the time being!

But as I said before I am sure that there are going to be people prepared to taste the forbidden fruit!


----------



## Hairy

I thought that "metal wings" involved Millteks?

Always wondered about the "100mm crowd".. ;D


----------



## S-Line

Vlastan. 

I see we have nearly 200 posts now ;D, I will be at work all day Tuesday and will miss the prize for the 200th post. 

I hope the prize winner enjoys the "RIDE". :-*

Bye for now..... Clair


----------



## vlastan

Hey Clair,

So you think we are going to hit the 200 posts tomorrow then? We will find out soon.

Shame you are unable to compete on this...but perhaps Rod could do it then!!

I think that the prize will fit perfectly to you and you would enjoy it much more than any other people I have seen here. Try to convince Rod to keep an eye on this thread tomorrow!


----------



## vagman

Hmmm....the tricky red or difficult brown dilema. You could always go for the pink in the corner pocket.

After all, you know what they say, "sex is alright, but there is nothing like the real thing" :

Wouldn't know myself mind you ;D


----------



## stewart

> Nice snow statue...but unfortunately out of scope for this thread....it appears to be vaginal sex!!


More to your taste Vlastan??
http://www.********.co.uk/gallery/stewart/snowballs.jpg


----------



## vlastan

Vagman,

It shouldn't be a dilemma at all!! A proper sexual session should contain at least 3 elements of activity. Oral, vaginal and anal sex! I mean if you really want to have fun and satisfy your partner you have to add variety to the session! It is also important to try as many as possible different sexual positions!

There are a lot more you can do of course but this is out of scope of this discussion and would require a different thread.

So by adding variety you can keep your relationship going for ever and your partner will not get bored with your performance.

Stewart,

As you can see I am not interested only in Anal but it certainly forms an important part of my sexual activity!

Where do you get all these photos from anyway? Did you creat all these snow statues at your garden when it last snowed?

Also it is still not clear if this is vaginal or anal penetration!!


----------



## nutts

Vlastan,

This is the closest I can find to a "Jessica".

http://www.********.co.uk/gallery/nutts/big_ramp_rabbit.jpg

;D ;D


----------



## vlastan

This is a good sexual toy for newbies that want to experiment!

For more advanced couples you will require to have larger bits attached to it! The bit for the anus is tiny...baby size, so a more experienced woman may not even feel it!!

I will give you a tip for the prize...it is listed in another thread!


----------



## nutts

It's actually the biggest selling sexual toy in the uk. 

As for the prize, I thought sending hamsters through the post was illegal  ;D


----------



## vlastan

The biggest seller? How would you know?

Have you got one then? Does your lady enjoys using it then?

OK guys...how many of you in this forum do you have one of these then? Tell vlastan...don't be shy!


----------



## nutts

Vlastan,

The "Jessica" is described on most sex shop sites as either the "number one sellling vibrator" or "famous".

Personally 3 previous (to me being married) girl friends have bought them and ALL would recommend them.

http://www.5starsexshop.co.uk/erol.html#991x0

http://www.annesummers.co.uk

http://www.grannywouldnt.com/webstore.c ... 3936.77680

http://www.tootimid.com/vibrators/

http://www.adameve.com/product.asp?cata ... %5Fid=2552

http://www.sh-womenstore.com/shwebsitei ... catext.htm

It is probably the most copied design. I think one site has about 6 different varieties of "Jessica". ;D

I have to say that it is IMHO the most effective vibrator (not counting strap-ons and dildos, balls, etc) on the market today for women.

Although the Jessica is not an Anal toy, it is still great fun!


----------



## Ruffles

Tim Â ;D

I know I like to lower the tone but I don't really think that's possible with this thread.

Mwaahahahaha!

Vlastan and Hairy.

If you think that oral is one of the cornerstones of good sex, Â don't you think that it's a little strange that you expect your partner to take you in her mouth while you can't even contemplate the taste of sperm without retching?

For those not in the know:

Snowballing - passing the sperm back and forth from one mouth to another after felatio

Feltching - going down on your partner after you've come specifically to taste your own sperm


----------



## S-Line

Vlastan,

199 only 1 to go!!

Rod & Clair


----------



## S-Line

Vlastan,

200 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

now we are late for work, will pick prize later, enjoy today see you all later (much ) later,

Rod & Clair


----------



## v1teo

Congratulations you two!!!

I was so tempted to post something, but I knew I was just not worthy of recieving the honour ;D ;D

Enjoy your prize!

Vince


----------



## coupe-sport

Ruffles - interesting the definition of felching. I was told a different version by a gay colleague... hence the eugh after my post 

rgds


----------



## Guest

Felching: sucking one's sperm out of your lovers anus and then transfering it to their mouth when you kiss..

...things you pick up on Blue Peter these days...


----------



## Ruffles

HeadEd

Felching doesn't only apply to anal sex but straight sex too.

AFAIK


----------



## W7 PMC

Must say its always interesting to pick up some new sexual terms at the age of 31. Can't say i've ever Felched or Snowballed, but i'm happy to miss these out of my sexual performances.

To further the point of what works for some, does not work for others. I for one have no problem with engaging in full vaginal intercourse whilst my partner has the decorators in, Arsenal playing at home etc, oral sex is a definate no no, but i have only come across one partner who was not comfortable with me fucking them during rag week. I would rather play a difficult red than a tight brown, now aint that strange? Like one says, horses for courses.

To answer Vlastans newest question, i have only played the vibrator game with 2 partners (on them not me) and again, was not overly comfortable as they both by coincidence had the same size of vibrator and it was fucking huge, now how are you supposed to deal with that? apart from obvioulsly potting the pink before the vibrator gets in there.

I just know i'm gonna regret this post, but who gives a fuck, i'm in a very jovial mood today.


----------



## nutts

Felching,

The definition that I know of felching is to pass a live animal (usually a mouse or hamster) into an anus down a tube. ALA Richard Gere! That allegedly is where the "Pet Shop Boys" got their name from.   

I have a very very funny excerpt from a US topical news show that goes into a story regarding felching, though I guess others would also have it, 'cos it's been around for a while. But it is exceptionally funny ;D ;D ;D.


----------



## vlastan

This is a very exciting time for me! AND YES WE DE HAVE A WINNER TODAY!!

Rod and Clair I am pleased to announce that you have won a butt plug!!!! This is the prize I have for you today.

To get into the details I never actually anticipated to get such a succesfull thread here and I had in mind to forward to the winner a second hand one (my wife grew out of it-too small). But for you guys I am going to buy a brand new one and post it to you!! All I need to know now is the required size!! If you are unhappy to tell on the forum just email the information together with your home address to my mail attached to my profile.

I am genuinely pleased that the prize will fall in safe hands and give you much pleasure for years to come!!

Congratulations!!


----------



## coupe-sport

Shame you cant get a picture of the handover of the prize - would be great for the newsletter...

8)


----------



## vlastan

Coupe sport,

I dissapointed you at the past for not knowing what feltching means. It looks like that there is no clear definition and each one had different interpretations about the exact meaning.

Actually this quote is not 100% correct. "Shame you cant get a picture of the handover of the prize - would be great for the newsletter... "

If I come to Beaulieu then we could make if official and get the photo and the happy winners grinning at their prize!! What about that then?

Feltching/snowballing must be a way women take revenge from you for making them drink it all the time. Short of "Do you like it then?"

Paul

When a vibrator is involved then the fun is double especially if you do anal/vaginal sex (vibrator in any of the two holes and your penis in the other). You can then feel both the vibrator on your penis. It is like having two men doing it together and some women get extremely turned on by this...just like us men always fantasise about having two ladies together!

Huge dildos much be good fun. Also what do you mean by "jovial mood"? Does this means very happy or very horny??

Nothing to regret about the post...just stay cool!! The more you do now the more nice memory you will have when you are 70 and you can only use your penis for pissing!!


----------



## W7 PMC

Vlastan:

Good points, although if i was up the front and the vibrator in question was up the back, i'd want to know how the fuck she managed to fit such a size of thing up her arse. I must say that when a partner pulls a 10.5" vibrator out of the bedside cabinet, it is a little intimidating to say the least. From personal preference, i would never engage in DP as i would not like my manhood that close to another guys, that said, spit roast was quite tasty, but i stayed at the back and did not swap places, although quite a turn on.

Only experienced 2 women at the same time once, but there was no interaction between them, so not sure that counts fully, fucking good fun though especially as it was totally unexpected.

"Jovial mood" kind of means happy, as being a single guy, i'm almost always horny or at least always close to being horny. Think i should stop being jovial today, as i'm bound to say something i'll regret later. This kind of remeinds me of the things i should not say to women when i'm drunk, but say them anyway and wait for a reaction.


----------



## pgtt

Just wondering if anyone has there purple wings?? Vlastian??


----------



## vlastan

Paul,

10.5" vibrator for anal? As far as anal is concerned the length is not an issue but the width is an issue.

DP with another man...never tried it and not sure about it. But DP with a sex toy it is good fun!

2 women together...lucky mate...can you introduce me to them too please? 

What is a spit roast exactly?

PGTT,

Do you actually mean gay sex? And do you mean giving or taking anal sex? If this is what purple wings means then no I haven't tried it.


----------



## pgtt

vlastan, ''purple wings'' sex with a dead body


----------



## vlastan

Why don't you use the proper word for this then...it is also a Greek word. You meant necrophyliac???

NO WAY!! There are limits and I respect the dead!!

Why did you ask...have you tried it then?


----------



## pgtt

Oh most definatly not!!! but i no of people that have


----------



## W7 PMC

Vlastan:

Needless to say that the 10.5" vibrator in question, was no skinny bugger, it looked huge and would have amazed me if either partner could have eaten it anally.

Spit Roast is the woman on all fours (doggy) with a man at the rear (anal or vaginal) and a man at the front receiving some oral relief, thus the woman looks like she is being spit roasted ( I suppose this excercise would be suitable for homosexual men as well), but that aint gonna float my boat.

Vlastan, if i ever speak to the said women again, i'll be sure to pass their details on, but one of them did turn out to be a bit of a bunny boiler and was called Xena (no she was not a Warrior Princess), so not sure i'd want to subject you to her.

No idea what Purple Wings are, but as i'm learning so much from this thread, would someone please enlighten me!!


----------



## vlastan

Well...and I know people that had sex with farm animals...donkeys, cows, sheep etc...

But shouldn't this be under another thread? Do you plan to lead a new thread on fetishes then?


----------



## pgtt

ill leave it up to you


----------



## W7 PMC

I'm happy to say that i dont know anyone that has fucked a sheep, cow, chicken, pig, horse, goat, turkey, dog, cat, hamster, elephant, giraffe, alligator, snake or a guinea pig.

I've watched the infamous Animal Farm and pissed myself laughing. My sexual preferences are only directed at women and myself and long may that continue.

Valstan: Get the fetish thread started. I feel like i've lost touch with the rest of the forum as i seem to be spending so much time in the Flame Room.

Weather Update, its fucking pissing down here and no i'm not into watersports either.


----------



## coupe-sport

...or just buy a TT :


----------



## Ruffles

I have to admit I was wrong on the definition of "felching".

In the Alt.Sex.FAQ from http://www.sexuality.org/sex.html, the definition is as follows:

felching 
consuming the resultant semen after anal sex.

That's a great site btw for everything you wanted to know but were afraid to ask...


----------



## Ruffles

A spit roast is where a woman is enjoyed by two men, one at either end while she is on all fours.

If you've ever seen a spit roast then you'll understand the imagery perfectly.


----------



## coupe-sport

hopefully without a 'pig' in the middle...


----------



## thorney

> A spit roast is where a woman is enjoyed by two men, one at either end while she is on all fours.
> 
> If you've ever seen a spit roast then you'll understand the imagery perfectly.


I thought a spit roast needed three men - one either end and the third to spin her around?


----------



## Ruffles

Spinning is optional.

So is spitting.


----------



## thorney

On a more serious note (yeah, right) don't you have to finish on the brown, becasue if you screw back and go for the pink after don't you risk giving the 'table' an infection of somekind - thrush etc. ???


----------



## vlastan

At least it is good that we come to mutual understanding of this bizzare feltching word! I wouldn't even know how this damn action is called in Greek...so I am very pleased that you guys help me improve my English!!

Paul,

When the thread started you were so reserved...now you can't get enough of it...and you even want more now...more fetishism, more education, more fun, more sex, more bizarre revealings....WHAT HAVE I DONE TO YOU???

Thorney,

Strictly speaking jumping from anal to vaginal sex should be avoided as it can pass bacterias from the anus to the bladder. But there are women out there that have such a strong immune system that nothing happens to them!

The vagina has antibodies in the urethra to kill these bacterias but with some women they work well some not. So be carefull with your partner unless you know she is a strong type. Still the infection is killed very easily...one tablet inserted in the vagina and this is all...but you will have to go to the GP and be examined...and I know that women are not very happy to show their pussy to a stranger doctor.


----------



## DXN

LOL (vlastan will get it)


----------



## thorney

Lol, I don't know which is funnier, this whole thread or vlastan's educational comments - all credit to you mate!

Mind you, women should think themselves lucky we simply roll over and fall asleep after sex, not sure sure how pleased they'd be if after coitus we then turn round and shove a sachet of Beechams up their fanny?!

Foreplay....pah.


----------



## Guest

Just in case any of you get any ideas after reading this thread...

http://www.sky.com/skynews/article/0,,3 ... 01,00.html

BTW, please could someone enlighten me on this term "foreplay" that Thorney referred to. Its not one I've heard of.


----------



## vlastan

DXN,

So far I have been fine. The distance between the blader and the entrance of the penis is satisfactorily long enough to kill every single bacteria!!

tango

cruelty on animals and bestiality is not encouraged in this thread by any means! My bitch is humping me sometimes in the leg and this is as far as it stays....GET OFF MY LEG YOU BITCH!! And I though only male dogs like humping!!


----------



## W7 PMC

Thorney: RAOFLMAO ;D ;D

Vlastan: I was not that reserved, just aware that anyone could be reading my revelations. This has to be the funniest/best thread of all time. Well done mate ;D ;D ;D


----------



## vlastan

Who said sex doesn't sell??

Thanks Paul for your nice comments!


----------



## pgtt

FAO Thorney, possilbly the funniest comment ive heard'' beechums up the fanny'' ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D


----------



## Major Audi Parts Guru

Vlastan
Will you and your mrs be joining us at beaulie ? ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D


----------



## vlastan

Currently there are no plans to attend this event but this may change.

Why do you need to know?


----------



## S-Line

Hi Vlastan, 

Sorry its taken me a long time to reply, but Rod has been giving me my prize !!   

I will e-mail my details to you. 

Vlastan in answer to your question, why english women hate anal sex? ???, it appears that most men on this forum have experienced anal sex with an english woman :-*.

If you follow the thread the conclusion would be that most men hate anal sex, do you agree or disagree? ???

Paul, well well well, what can I say, I thought you were such a nice guy! I will never look at you in the same light again!!  

Lets not forget that sex is the last great adventure left to human kind!! ;D ;D ;D ;D

Bye Bye Clair


----------



## vlastan

Dear Clair,

This is why I like you so much...because you are so COOL!!!! Not afraid to discuss openly, not having any taboo....you really know how to enjoy life...and SEX of any kind!!

You are right on this observation and I get the same impression. Men here didn't seem to enjoy anal sex...if they are asked they may do it but they may not be very happy about it. They think it is dirty.

Of course I do not share their views...and certainly they don't know how great it can be and how different it does feel!

Unfortunately, I have to say that I didn't get satisfactory responses from females on this forum. Only 4 females replied to this trhead and from them 1 likes it, one not and two didn't say much about it. I should have posted this question to a forum with more female population to get a better response.

Clair, where is Rod? Does he feel a bit sensitive about this thread?


----------



## vlastan

Clair,

Forgot to say that this new picture in your profile appears a bit too familiar. I hope you have the appropriate copyright to reproduce it in a public site!!



Very shiny car indeed!!


----------



## S-Line

Hello Vlastan,

Thats a first, me sensitive!! :-[

Come on, do you think that of me? ???

Clair replied with her own views to which I support, having such a male dominated thread, I think its important to have the female perspective. 8)

Congratulations on the highest amount of replies and views on one thread in the whole forum, now you have to come on the 23rd, bring ya missus, time for a chat! 

 Rod


----------



## vlastan

That's my BOY!!!

Well I just wanted to hear from you too Rod!

If I bring Mrs will it be only a chat???? Hmmmm!

I realised that people were getting fed up with reading the same old stuff all the time...they were getting bored.

I am very pleased that I managed to "spice up" this forum with my presence! Perhaps I fit better in the flame and the Off topic room as I am not a TT owner yet!


----------



## nutts

I guess what we want is for Jae to add a section for a sexual glossary of terms.

Snowball
Russian Snowball
Spit roast
Felching
Fisting
Rimming
Metal Wings
Purple Wings
Red Wings
Brown Wings

etc


----------



## vagman

NuTTs, excellent idea ;D

Vlastan, what is your next topic for discussion. The Flame Room is more entertaining than the TT board at the moment.


----------



## S-Line

We asked Jae on Saturday to move the Flame room to the top of the forum, he's looking into it. :-/

Can't wait to see what Vlastan has next on his sexual menu. ;D ;D ;D

It's been fun ... .....

Clair 'n' Rod


----------



## W7 PMC

Clair: I am really a nice guy, but nobody ever looks at me in the same light again, as i prefer it with the lights off  

I knew i should have kept my mouth shut (cheers Vlastan)  

Agree that we should do away with the TTOC room, as nobody ever fucks about in their and replace the top slot with the Flame Room.

Nutts: Recognize all your glossary terms with the exception of one. What the fuck is a Russian Snowball


----------



## vlastan

Well boyz and girls,

It was mentioned before that a new thread should perhaps start to discuss fetishim of any kind. But this can be a very large issue and we could end up with 1000 posts several thousands views and Jae coming after my arse because as we crashed his server and set the server room in fire!!

Allow me to be cheeky for the first time here!!

Perhaps we should try what we learned from this thread in the TT meeting at Beaulieu...now it gets kinky and I am losing my professionalism, but I identified some very open minded people here prepared to sample the sexual pleasures we touched in this forum.

On a more naive note...we could just each of you you try what you learned here with your partners!

....I though about deleting this post but I now typed it and I will post it! It is more suitable to post it in a swinging site...but here you go!


----------



## nutts

You (the male) have a mouth full of vodka and post vinegar stroke you and your partner kiss mixing the cum and alcohol before both taking an equal measure and swallowing. 8) 8)


----------



## S-Line

Vlastan,

A sort of Show and Tell session!!  

You must bring your other half, cards on the table now you have set the ball rolling no going back, we like a challange.... bring it on!! ;D ;D

Rod & Clair Clair & Rod!!!!


----------



## vagman

And report back with the results ;D

Quick question before we proceed Vlastan, does one wipe one's cock with toilet paper afterwards??


----------



## nutts

I wonder what the largest score would be if we canvassed opinion on who has done the most sexual acts, like those I mentioned above plus

two partners of the opposite sex
bestiality
Snowball 
Russian Snowball 
Spit roast 
Felching 
Fisting 
Rimming 
Metal Wings 
Purple Wings 
Red Wings 
Brown Wings 
Used a vibrator on themselves
Mile high club
Sex with others watching

1 point for each. Any more sex acts to add to the list before we start posting scores? (don't have to list the ones you've done or not done, just the total points will do)


----------



## vlastan

Nutts,

I do not waste my sperm like this...I have a sperm bank at home!!

Have you played this game before then??

Rod and Clair,

I am not familiar with the Show and Tell game...could you explain please!

Vagman,

Do you mean wipe your cock after anal sex with toilet paper? Why wipe it....why do you think it will be dirty at the first place???

Well normally after sex don't you tend to have a quick shower to freshen up after all this sweating???


----------



## W7 PMC

NuTTs:
Fuck that off for a refreshing drink, give me a nice can of Red Bull with my Vodka anytime. Always thought them Russians were weird fuckers (no offence to any Russians on this forum).

Vlastan: 
FUCK OFF ;D I'm not kissing you, rimming you, snowballing you, doing anything involving wings with you, fisting you or felching you. You seem like a nice guy, but not that nice  

Zozza:
Please cancel my Beaulieu reservation and my hotel booking  as Mr Vlastan is chasing me and i'm getting a little bit scared. I think he may be an Alien, sent to earth to mess with our heads and then perform strange rituals on our humble bodies  (only joking about the cancellation)


----------



## S-Line

FULL HOUSE!!

;D ;D   

:   

Rod & Clair... off to bed see ya all later...


----------



## nutts

"Waste my sperm" 
??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ???


----------



## vlastan

I was meant to walk the bitch tonight...but with this discussion going on now NO WAY...let the bitch sleep!

Nutts we need you explain a few of the items in your list!!

Russian snowball
Riming
High mile club

I would also add to your list a few more:

outdoors sex
sex in public places
flashing
S&M
golden showers
bondage
enemas

...just a few that went through my mind!


----------



## W7 PMC

Shit, this thread is moving that fast now :, i cant keep up. Vlastan my last post referred to the one you posted 6 before mine. 

I'm disgusted with my language in this forum :-X :-X, its crude, rude and very derogatory. I'm going to send myself off to bed without my cup of hot milk 

NuTTs: I only scored six so i'm defo going to bed. Note to myself "get out more and attempt to improve on this score"


----------



## vagman

Vlastan, I meant that if one goes in the back door, one's knob will come out with a coating of shite. Now given that one wipes one's arsehole with toilet paper to rid oneself with aforementioned shite, it would be logical to wipe one's cock with andrex to achieve similar result. ;D


----------



## vlastan

Rod and Clair became so horny with this thread that had to go for a pinky panky!!

Have fun!!

Paul...don't be such a WORRY PUSS!!

Males will not touch each other...we are heterosexuals, well at least you and I are...don't know about the other guys here yet! Just don't forget to bring some girlfriends with you!


----------



## StunTTman

Guys and Gals,

I LOVE YOU ALL!!! ;D ;D

After a fairly busy couple of days, catching up with this thread is like meeting an old friend. Top performance all round.

Seldom if ever have I laughed and learned as much in one go! All I need to do now is find myself a tolerant, indulgent, open-minded female to put my newfound vocabulary to good use 8) 8)
Stuntie


----------



## W7 PMC

I relinquish my score of 6 until we have a final list to take score points from. If you add too many more and i posted a six, then everyone will think i'm a virgin. Oops there is a another one, de-cherried a virgin ;D ;D ;D

Vlastan: Start a seperate thread for posting sexual practices and then when we're happy we have them pretty much all listed, start the competition.


----------



## vlastan

I will have to start charging you for giving advice on sex issues!!

Should the new thread be on the flame room? I am just thinking that should be on the off topic room now...unless we ask Jae to create a SEX room instead!!


----------



## W7 PMC

Yes defo in the flame room, as this is now the in place to ahng out ;D


----------



## nutts

Vlastan

Russian snowball - (You (the male) have a mouth full of vodka and post vinegar stroke you and your partner kiss mixing the cum and alcohol before both taking an equal measure and swallowing.)
Riming - (Licking the Anus)
Mile high club - (Sex or blow job on a plane)

The list so far............

outdoors sex 
sex in public places 
flashing 
S&M 
golden showers 
bondage 
enemas 
two partners of the opposite sex 
bestiality 
Snowball 
Russian Snowball 
Spit roast 
Felching 
Fisting 
Rimming 
Metal Wings 
Purple Wings 
Red Wings 
Brown Wings 
Used a vibrator on themselves 
Mile high club 
Sex with others watching
Blow job whilst driving (giving or receiving)

Any more.........................


----------



## vlastan

Vagman,

Normally the lady will have to empty her bowels before anal sex is performed...that way you avoid any messy situations! Therefore, you won't need any toilet paper!

PAUL CLARKSON IS A VIRGIN!!!


----------



## nutts

Vlastan

Have you been drinking ???

     ;D


----------



## vlastan

some more:

going out without wearing knickers (women only)
wanking/pissing in public
posting naked photos on the net
Coprolagnia
having sex with TV/TS


----------



## vagman

Picture the scene

Mr Vlastan : Do you fancy a quickie dear

Mrs Vlastan : Hmm I'd love one. Hold on whilst I go and have a dump.


----------



## nutts

outdoors sex 
sex in public places 
flashing 
S&M 
golden showers 
bondage 
enemas 
two partners of the opposite sex 
bestiality 
Snowball 
Russian Snowball 
Spit roast 
Felching 
Fisting 
Rimming 
Metal Wings 
Purple Wings 
Red Wings 
Brown Wings 
Used a vibrator on themselves 
Mile high club 
Sex with others watching 
Blow job whilst driving (giving or receiving) 
One night stand
Sex with a friend
Masturbation
Sex / blow job at work
Sex with your boss 
Sex with your boss's wife/husband/son/daughter (point for each)
Sex before you were 16
voyerism
Own pornographic videos
Filmed yourself & partner during sex

Anymore..............................?


----------



## vlastan

No drinking...I was just taking the piss on Paul as he said he was a virgin with only a score of 6 before!!


----------



## W7 PMC

NuTTs:

Some more. ;D

De-Flowering a virgin
Group Sex
Caught Fucking by parents (own)
Mother & Daughter (not own)
Sisters (not own)
Swinging
Sex on a train
Using a stewardess to join the mile high club.

Aint outdoor sex & sex in public places, pretty much the same thing.

Anyone that has given a blowjob whilst driving ought to get 2 points, cause that has to be fucking impossible and i for one would not like any chick to start sucking my cock while she was driving at 90 in the fast lane up the M6.

Sorry relinquish my previous statement as the penny has just dropped "me holding the steering wheel" 

Vlastan: Thanks for mentioning that and after you promised to keep my secret quiet. Best have a word with the ex-wife though, as she's been touting 2 kids as mine for the last 9 years


----------



## nutts

Vlastan

I've added them anyway, but what are these two?

Coprolagnia 
having sex with TV/TS

The list so far............

going out without wearing knickers (women only) 
Going out in public wearing womens knickers (men only)
wanking in public
pissing in public 
posting naked photos on the net 
Coprolagnia 
having sex with TV/TSoutdoors sex 
sex in public places 
flashing 
S&M 
golden showers 
bondage 
enemas 
two partners of the opposite sex 
bestiality 
Snowball 
Russian Snowball 
Spit roast 
Felching 
Fisting 
Rimming 
Given oral sex 
Metal Wings 
Purple Wings 
Red Wings 
Brown Wings 
Used a vibrator on themselves 
Mile high club 
Sex with others watching 
Blow job whilst driving (giving or receiving) 
One night stand 
Sex with a friend 
Masturbation 
Sex / blow job at work 
Sex with your boss 
Sex with your boss's wife/husband/son/daughter (point for each) 
Sex before you were 16 
voyerism 
Own pornographic videos 
Filmed yourself & partner during sex

Any more ..................?


----------



## nutts

I think outdoor sex could be in a field or woodland, etc whereas sex in a public place could be in a public park.

The list so far............

Sex in a public toilet
De-Flowering a virgin 
Group Sex 
Caught Fucking by parents 
Mother & Daughter or Father & Son (2 points for the same day)
Sisters (2 points for the same day)
Swinging 
Sex on a train 
Using a stewardess to join the mile high club. 
going out without wearing knickers (women only) 
Going out in public wearing womens knickers (men only) 
wanking in public 
pissing in public 
posting naked photos on the net 
Coprolagnia 
having sex with TV/TSoutdoors sex 
sex in public places 
flashing
cottaging 
S&M 
golden showers 
bondage 
enemas 
two partners of the opposite sex 
bestiality 
Snowball 
Russian Snowball 
Spit roast 
Felching 
Fisting 
Rimming 
Given oral sex 
Metal Wings 
Purple Wings 
Red Wings 
Brown Wings 
Used a vibrator on themselves 
Mile high club 
Sex with others watching 
Blow job whilst driving (giving or receiving) 
One night stand 
Sex with a friend 
Masturbation 
Sex / blow job at work 
Sex with your boss 
Sex with your boss's wife/husband/son/daughter (point for each) 
Sex before you were 16 
voyerism 
Own pornographic videos 
Filmed yourself & partner during sex

Any more ..................?


----------



## W7 PMC

Must be Transvestite / Transexual. No point for me from that one.


----------



## vlastan

Coprolagnia is when people want to eat shit!! TV is transvestite, TS is transexual...I hope you know the difference!!


----------



## nutts

Vlastan,

Ha ha.

Didn't know that Coprolagnia is when people want to eat shit!!

and

I suspected that TV is transvestite and TS is transexual. Just wanted to clarify........


----------



## W7 PMC

You need to edit the having sex with TV/TSoutdoors sex (duplication) What a fucking list though. Will be interesting to see who adds what


----------



## vlastan

Paul,

Not all my suggestions have come true. I just think of every fetish action I can and then put it down.

I think we have a fairly complete list now


----------



## nutts

The list so far............

Sex in a public toilet 
De-Flowering a virgin 
Group Sex 
Caught Fucking by parents 
Mother & Daughter or Father & Son (2 points for the same day) 
Sisters (2 points for the same day) 
Swinging 
Sex on a train 
Using a stewardess to join the mile high club. 
going out without wearing knickers (women only) 
Going out in public wearing womens knickers (men only) 
wanking in public 
pissing in public 
posting naked photos on the net 
Coprolagnia 
having sex with TV/TS
outdoors sex (fields/woods/etc)
sex in public places (public park/down an alleyway/etc)
flashing 
cottaging 
cheating on your partner
S&M 
golden showers 
bondage 
enemas 
two partners of the opposite sex at the same time
bestiality 
Snowball 
Russian Snowball 
Spit roast 
Felching 
Fisting 
Rimming 
Given oral sex 
Metal Wings 
Purple Wings 
Red Wings 
Brown Wings 
Used a vibrator on themselves 
Mile high club 
Sex with others watching 
Blow job whilst driving (giving or receiving) 
One night stand 
Sex with a friend 
Masturbation 
Sex / blow job at work 
Sex with your boss 
Sex with your boss's wife/husband/son/daughter (point for each) 
Sex before you were 16 
voyerism 
Own pornographic videos 
Filmed yourself & partner during sex

Any more ..................?


----------



## W7 PMC

Sex underwater (sea, pool etc)
Fucking in your parents bed
Waking up with a total monster
Fucking in a car (not a TT as there aint enough room)


----------



## W7 PMC

NuTTs: Are you refering to sex down a back alley or a front alley.

Sex with a celebrity


----------



## W7 PMC

OK dumb question, whats cottaging??


----------



## nutts

No more. I think we have enough for a good HONEST competition. Friendly only. No prizes.

Sex underwater (sea, pool etc) 
Fucking in your parents bed 
Waking up with a total monster 
Fucking in a car (not a TT as there aint enough room) 
Fucking on a car bonnet
Sex with a bi-sexual
Homesexual sex
Pimping
Sex in a public toilet Â 
De-Flowering a virgin Â 
Group Sex Â 
Sex with a celebrity
Caught Fucking by parents Â 
Mother & Daughter or Father & Son (2 points for the same day) Â 
Sisters (2 points for the same day) Â 
Swinging Â 
Sex on a train Â 
Using a stewardess to join the mile high club. Â 
going out without wearing knickers (women only) Â Â 
Going out in public wearing womens knickers (men only) Â 
wanking in public Â 
pissing in public Â Â 
posting naked photos on the net Â Â 
Coprolagnia Â Â 
having sex with TV/TS 
outdoors sex (fields/woods/etc) 
sex in public places (public park/down an alleyway/etc) 
flashing Â 
cottaging Â Â Â 
cheating on your partner 
S&M Â Â Â 
golden showers Â Â Â 
bondage Â Â Â 
enemas Â Â Â 
two partners of the opposite sex at the same time 
bestiality Â Â Â 
Snowball Â 
Russian Snowball Â 
Spit roast Â 
Felching Â 
Fisting Â 
Rimming Â Â 
Given oral sex Â Â Â 
Metal Wings Â 
Purple Wings Â 
Red Wings Â 
Brown Wings Â 
Used a vibrator on themselves Â Â Â 
Mile high club Â Â Â 
Sex with others watching Â Â 
Blow job whilst driving (giving or receiving) Â Â 
One night stand Â Â 
Sex with a friend Â Â 
Masturbation Â Â 
Sex / blow job at work Â Â 
Sex with your boss Â Â 
Sex with your boss's wife/husband/son/daughter (point for each) Â Â 
Sex before you were 16 Â Â 
voyerism Â Â 
Own pornographic videos Â Â 
Filmed yourself & partner during sex Â Â


----------



## nutts

Pick or brown down an alleyway!! 

Cottaging: trawling for **** sex in public places (like toilets)


----------



## vlastan

I think that the list is far too long. Do you allow me to trim a few of them before I start the new thread tomorrow? I don't want to have more than 30-40 options!


----------



## nutts

OK here goes.................43


----------



## W7 PMC

Important additions:

Sex with a prostitute/escort (same thing really)
Attended a lap dancing club.

Score is 36 from the big list.


----------



## nutts

> Important additions:
> 
> Sex with a prostitute/escort (same thing really)
> Attended a lap dancing club.
> 
> Score is 36 from the big list.


and 38 if we include these 2


----------



## W7 PMC

NuTTs: I never said that  *LOL*


----------



## Ruffles

Well well... I didn't know about Russian snowballs - definitely have to try that sometime soon. Actually, maybe I should try it with a real Russian too. They might be weird but boy do they know how to fuck. They become sexually active at an incredibly young age here and they are very experienced by the time you are likely to meet them at a club.

Coprolagnia - no thanks - just watched "10 Things To Do In Denver When You're Dead" - there was one guy in there teased for being a "fecal freak". Not my taste I think. Always nice to learn a new term though.

I'm afraid I've done far too much of that list and I'm not about to divulge my score.

Actually, my best mate here has a little circle of friends that compete on the basis of blowjob=1, sex=2, up-the-arse=3 and they try to see who can amass the most points in a night on the town, usually a weekend. The highest score I've heard about so far was a 12 but that we suspect was drug induced.

Apparently, the drug of choice amongst young party males in Europe is Viagra. It allows them to drink all night and then fuck well into the middle of the next afternoon.

We had a long discussion one day about the scoring system and he set me right on a few things. I had asked why isn't blowjob a 2 and sex a 1. He said basically that I was a poor sad fucker who was too used to married life where bj's are used as hard earned rewards but out in the real world a woman will give a bj to get out of having sex with you.

My mate (he was best man at my wedding) is breaking up with his partner and he came out to visit for a week; he just went back to London yesterday. He was totally gobsmacked with the party scene here in Tallinn. He must've fallen in love every hour with a new girl. He went back humming and promising to return sometime soon and probably look at moving here to live.

Actually, Riga is even more extreme. And the tip top place for action is reputed to be Minsk.


----------



## S-Line

looks like you lot have been busy! ;D

Have printed list and will start working on them from top to bottom! 

Enjoy your day, catch ya later.......

Paul a virgin? never!!! :-*

Rod 'n' Clair


----------



## W7 PMC

Clair:

Morning to you. I think we all got a little carried away last night with this thread ;D ;D. At this rate, we'll hit 1000 posts before Beaulieu.

Side Note: Are you & Rod OK for Saturday Night and are you able to make it to Beaulieu. ;D :-*


----------



## nutts

MAn am i sHIT facved. TOOOOOOOOOOO nmany handgraneadfes and biiillockd,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

ooo many lsap dzancyb srrssss......... fyck.


----------



## thorney

Holy shit. I leave this thread on beechams 'cough' remedies last night and arrive here to find we've moved onto Minsk nights out and whether sex with a TV is worth more than sex with TS.

TT forum, what TT forum?

hehe


----------



## thorney

I've also noticed my post count has gone up rapidly purely due to this thread......I obviously am far more interested in anal sex than I am in the TT!


----------



## Ruffles

That reminds me of an old calypso entitled "Who Put The Pepper In The Vaseline".


----------



## Major Audi Parts Guru

'why English women hate Anal sex?'

They love it really,just too embarrased to admit it


----------



## Major Audi Parts Guru

'why English women hate Anal sex?'

why do they say that they have never tried it when the chances are they have


----------



## Major Audi Parts Guru

Vlastan
If i ever meet you in person i'm gonna buy you a beer for producing what must be the best post on this forum ever ;D


----------



## Major Audi Parts Guru

apparently the upper class prefer to say 'shall i cum in the tradesmans entrance'


----------



## Major Audi Parts Guru

300 posts
this has to be the all time best,i've laughed my bollocks off to this night after night
what is this world coming to ;D


----------



## Guy

For those who have not had the satisfaction required may I suggest the following action?

THE FIRST WORTHWHILE CHAIN LETTER

This chain letter was developed by virile men in order to make their sex life even more fantastic.
As opposed to normal chain letters, this one costs nothing, and you can only win.
Simply send this e-mail to 9 fellas who are just as virile as you.
Then anaesthetize your wife/girlfriend, put her in a large carton (don't forget some ventilation holes), and send it to the person who is at the top of your list. Soon, your name will be at the top of the list, and you will receive 823,542 women through the post.
Statistically, among those women, will be at least

0.5 miss worlds
2.5 models
463 wild nymphos
3,234 good-looking nymphos
20,198 who enjoy multiple orgasms
40,198 bi-sexual women

In total, that is 64,294 women who are simply hornier, less inhibited, and tastier than the grumpy old bag you posted off. Moreover, best of all, your original package is guaranteed not to be one of those that come back to you.

DO NOT BREAK THIS CHAIN LETTER
One bloke for example who sent the letter to only 5 instead of 9 of his friends got his original bird back, still in the old dressing gown he sent her off in, with the same old migraine attack, and the accusatorial expression on her face. On the same day, the international supermodel he'd been living with since he sent off his old girlfriend moved out to live with his best friend (to whom he had not sent the chain letter.)

While I am sending this letter, the bloke that is in 6th place above me has already received 837 women and is lying in hospital suffering from exhaustion. Outside his ward are 452 more packages.

YOU MUST BELIEVE THIS E-MAIL.
This is a unique opportunity to achieve a totally satisfying sexlife.
No expensive meals out, no lengthy conversations about trivialities (that only interest women) just so that you can screw her. No obligations, no grumpy mother-in-law, and no unpleasant surprises like marriage or engagement.

Do not hesitate send this letter today to 9 of your best friends.

PS Even when you have no girlfriend, you can send your vacuum cleaner.
PPS This letter can also be copied to women you know so that they can prepare themselves for the great adventure that they may soon undertake.


----------



## vlastan

Anal SUPER joke:

It was Superman once flying about looking desperately for a good fuck. As he was wandering around he came across Batman. And he asks Batman: " Hey mate I am getting really desperate to get a good fuck can you recommend me something good?" And Batman replies: "Why don't you try WonderWoman? You can't get any better fuck than with her in this World of Comics"

Superman replied that Wonder Woman is a very good friend of his and he can't possibly do this to her, and then fly's away again. As he kept wandering about again looking for a nice woman he came across Wonder Woman. She was on the field with legs wide open and very ecstastic.

So he thinks, "What the fuck I am really desperate now and I must do something. I will give her such a quick fuck and then fly away before she realised what happened!"

He launches himself like a bullet and fucks the Wonder Woman very fast indeed and then fly's away again. What the fuck was this Wonder Woman says looking at the sky very strangely?

I don't know says the INVISIBLE MAN but my arse is killing me!!!!


----------



## S-Line

Vlastan,

How can you finish such a fantastic topic with such a crap joke!! 

We expect better things from the "SEX GOD" of the forum. 

See you soon..... Rod 'n' Clair


----------



## doug

A bloke ( sex god himself perhaps?  ) goes into a pub, and the barmaid asks what he wants.
'I want to bury my face in your cleavage and lick the sweat from between your tits' he says.

'You dirty git' shouts the barmaid 'get out before l get my husband.'
The bloke apologises and promises not to repeat his gaffe. The barmaid accepts this and asks him again what he wants.

'I want to pull your pants down, spread yoghurt between the cheeks of your arse and lick it all off' he says.

'You dirty filthy pervert. You're banned. Get out!!' she storms.
Again the bloke apologises and swears never to do it again.

'One more chance' says the barmaid. 'Now what do you want?'

'I want to turn you upside down, open your flaps and fill your pussy with Stella Artois, and then drink every last drop from the hairy cup'
The barmaid is furious at this personal intrusion, and runs upstairs to fetch her husband, who is sitting quietly watching the telly.

'What's up love?' he asks.

'There's a bloke in the bar who wants to put his head between my tits and lick the sweat off', she says.
'I'll kill him. Where is he?' storms the husband.
'Then he said he wanted to pour yoghurt down between my arse cheeks and lick it off' she screams.
'Right. He's dead' says the husband, reaching for a cricket bat.
'Then he said he wanted to turn me upside down, fill my fanny with Stella and drink it all' she cries.

The husband puts down his bat and returns to his armchair, and switches the telly back on.
'Arn't you going to do something about it?' she cries hysterically

'Look love.

'I'm not messing with someone who can drink 15 pints of Stella....'


----------



## vlastan

Apologies for disappointed all my dedicated fans!!

I could actually delete this post with the joke, but then it will be like altering history by turning the clock back and changing the past.

I hope it didn't spoil this historic thread...much!!


----------



## vagman

Vlastan, heard it before, but it wasn't that bad.


----------



## S-Line

Vagman

You sig is doing a "Vlastan"! ;D ;D


----------



## vlastan

Vagman,

Brilliant signature...do you actually know which of all these positions involve anal sex?

I have to admit that Clair is my biggest fan so far. And as I don't get sexy ladies like Clair calling me "Sex God" on a daily basis, I will have to keep her happy with my postings! Clair got me underperforming and I am embarassed now....sorry!!

:-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*


----------



## vlastan

RIP...you will always be remembered as the longest thread ever!!

Goodbye!!

:'( :'( :'(


----------



## vagman

Vlastan,

Not quite r.i.p.

I was wondering as to whether you had spotted the "difficult brown" position ;D


----------



## vlastan

They are so bloody quick and elastic this couple that it is hard to spot it. I also think that the male has a tiny willy as it never sticks out as he moves around!!

Enlighten me then!!


----------



## vagman

When the bloke stands up, he seems to stand back, then launches himself at the bird, into what, if I am not mistaken, would appear to be her arse.


----------



## vlastan

This dude is doing anal without lubrication jelly?? His lady must be very wide then!!

It is actually incoclusive about if it is anal sex or not. Is there any way we could zoom in the action and have a better look at it??


----------



## vagman

Well spotted on the jelly front. ;D

Not able to zoom in or slow down, so you will have to give the bloke the benefit of the doubt ;D


----------



## thorney

With all this talk about anal sex no-one has posted how it is we can persuade our other halves to 'put out'

Well here it is.....just click on the black and white TV for all you need to know......

http://www.doodiehumor.com/poop.htm

;D

PS It's a 10mb file so check your connection


----------



## nutts

LMFCO ;D ;D ;D ;D Now where did I put that brick ???


----------



## vlastan

I still haven't placed the photo here I promised you...coming shortly!!


----------



## vlastan

Thorney,

I only just now saw this movie!! Poor Billy!!

So far I had more understanding partners and didn't need to employee the use of a brick to get anal sex!! But you do have to win the lady's confidence to achieve your goals!!

So the movie suggested that Anal sex is more fun for 3 reasons:

1. It is warm
2. It is tight
3. It is degrading to women

I need your views in these 3 statements chaps!! I will give you my personal views. I don't think is is warmer that the pussy sex but is is a lot tighter and this is the main reason why it feels so great!! As far as degrading to women...well it can be to some women who are insecure. A fun loving woman will not be afraid to admit to anal sex to friends and certainly will not find it degrading!!

Just for you guys that you are not prepared to see the movie...the guy managed to get anal sex with his girlfriend after he hit her unconsious with a brick and then did it to her!!!


----------



## jgoodman00

lmao. This thread has made it to the top again!!!


----------



## vlastan

James,

Good things in life last a long time!!!

Will you express your views in the latest questions then?


----------



## Major Audi Parts Guru

Vlastan
Have you ever tried to give your other half a glaized doughnut ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D


----------



## vlastan

And what this may be? Can you explain please?


----------



## Major Audi Parts Guru

Vlastan
Can i suggest that you go to a decent bakers tomorrow and ask them for a glaized doughnut,then when you have one,just look at it and try to figure out what i'm saying 8)


----------



## vlastan

Why don't you just say directly what you mean?

I know what a glaized doughnut is and I think I know what you mean. But let me double check. Is it to come all over the anus after having anal sex?


----------



## Major Audi Parts Guru

Well done Vlastan


----------



## thorney

So thats what they mean by a creme donut. 

Which means Krispy Kreme donuts have old congealed spunk in them? 

Oh great, I'm never eating another dount again. :-X


----------



## vlastan

I love doughnuts too...and there is no way this thread is going to make me leave them behind!!

...and I prefer to come inside!! 8)


----------



## W7 PMC

I leave the country for a few days and the Anal thread gets re-ignited. Well done for bringing the topic up again. I've always liked doughnuts and this thread aint gonna change my mind (now where did i put that dough & baking tray?) ;D


----------



## vlastan

You can't afford to go away if you want to keep up to the date with the flame room!! Perhaps next time we should start smsing you the news!! ;D


----------



## jamesl

I don't normally bother looking in the flame room but then I see this thread 'why women hate anal sex' 

I have read all 33 pages and honestly say it is the funniest thread I've ever seen on the forum.

Fair play to Vlastan for being honest and raising a topic few blokes would dare raise with their girlfriends/wives. ;D

Now how can I go back to the main forum and read about tyre choices after this?! ;D


----------



## StunTTman

Easy jamesl - just think of those tyres as "rubber that performs well in damp and slippery conditions" ;D


----------



## vlastan

James,

Well done for taking the time to read all these pages...I am sure you found them most informative and now you are willing to apply the fresh knowledge with your partner....have fun!! 

...you are right...it can be boring going back to the TT forum again!!


----------



## boysweek

Well bugger me! Northern saying not to be taken literally!!!!! 

I've only just caught this topic, because like many others here I haven't previously been tempted into the dark realms of the Flame Room. But what have I been missing?

Vlastan is right, this is an experiance not to be missed. I just wish there were more girls out there prepared to give it a go. In other cultures it is the norm and you can witness that by the proliferation of anal sex web sites.


----------



## huw

vlastan

This to, be fair, is a great thread. Very amusing indeed. What I'm intrigued about is apart from devoting 24 hours a day to the forum and/or copious amounts of sex, do you actually do anything else?! 

On a good day, I'm lucky if I get to spend 5 mins on the forum. Not enough hours in the day


----------



## nutts

Huw,

You have to prioritise. Sex and Forum, then clean the TT, drive the TT, eat, sleep, bathe, work. In that order.

OK? try it for a few weeks and see if you feel better.  ;D


----------



## huw

I wish!! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D


----------



## Guest

> You have to prioritise. Sex and Forum, then clean the TT, drive the TT, eat, sleep, bathe, work. In that order


except in Vlastan's case he can miss the TT bits !!!


----------



## vlastan

I manage my life in a very good order. Something like Nutts said! And yes I do have to work like everyone else here...but in the same time I am totally addicted to this TT forum and I can't disappoint my fans!!!

As I said before I am a lowely paid person so I get more free time that you guys that you get paid top money.

Spiceboy,

I will now order the TT on Monday!!! So I won't be left out!


----------



## huw

How about you manage my life for me mate! I will pay you handsomely and then perhaps I will get to increase my posts - 262 since March 2001 is a pathetic attempt


----------



## vlastan

Time is money!!!

Have you attended a time management training course yet??

Are you asking me to be your PA then?


----------



## huw

It would certainly make interesting office banter  ;D  ;D  ;D


----------



## vlastan

So going back to the initial subject again...do you actively participate in anal activities then Huw? And I mean you playing the active role!! Cummon tells us more then!


----------



## huw

From my experience most women from the UK will only participate in anal if they are pissed and/or nymphomaniacs - the latter not a bad thing. ;D I don't like sweetcorn much!!!


----------



## vlastan

...and this was my personal feeling and the reason why I started this thread!! There are not many English women who really enjoy Anal sex...shame really!

But again you don't like it either ehh? You don't know what you miss!!


----------



## huw

Vlastan - The legend. The machine.

Women be afraid...VERY afraid


----------



## vlastan

Women...come to Vlastan....to show you the way!!

;D ;D


----------



## jamman

My grilfriend Kiki a well known local nymphomaniac(only joking Kiki if you read this) has told me that greek girls don't mind anal because greek guys have very small dicks and thus it doesn't hurt much. Can you shed any light on this please Vlastan.

Regards
King Dong


----------



## vlastan

How would she know??? Did she have Greek lovers before?

I have a living proof that Kiki is wrong...and it is between my legs!!  And I don't think it will appropiate to post a picture in this forum either!! 

Actually, Greek girls love it when it is bigger not smaller!!


----------



## pgtt

the greek has got the meat


----------



## thorney

But surely Greek meat is sliced up, stuck on a spit for 6 hours then covered in chilli sauce before any woman would swallow it?

Or am I missing the point ;D


----------



## jamman

Nice to see a quick reply Vlastan obviously a subject CLOSE to you.

In answer to your question , Yes loads but only for research purposes she tells me.   

Why not post because photoshop have a usefull zoom/enlarge option in their PACKAGE. :-X

Is this why beautiful Greek girls always look a bit moody to me? or is it because they know what's waiting at home for them? Â 

Â : I should know i've been to Halkadiki twice with my parents. :


----------



## vlastan

Thorney,

You do miss the point!! : We never use chilly sauce in Greece for our kebabs (Greek souvlaki) ;D ;D

Jamman,

Is Kiki still researching? I must have a word with her as she is spreading around wrong rumours!

Greek girls grin more that you folks that drive TTs! And this is from pleasure and total sexual satisfaction that can only be achieved with a ANAL SEX!!! Nothing can beat the pleasure they get from us! They keep coming for more!! They just LOVE IT!!


----------



## jamman

After that glowing tribute to yourself only one more question.

Resin , Weed or LSD
Which one gives you these strange conceptions.

Same forum, different planet.

It's probabley all the tractors in your way down Ipswich my friend.


----------



## vlastan

No strange conceptions!! All true facts of life!!

... I prefer solvent abuse with Auto asphynxiation!! They do it for me so much better!! 

Don't mention tractors!! Why do all the bloody Suffolk drivers drive like they go to a funeral?? The stick to speed limits and many times they even drive below them!!


----------



## jamman

> ... I prefer solvent abuse with Auto asphynxiation!! They do it for me so much better!!


I remember a local priest/vicar killing himself with that when I was a kid in King's Lynn.

You want to be careful! ! !

Vicar , INXS singer and anal enthusiast killed masturbating I can see the headlines now


----------



## vlastan

Jamman,

So many years of experience...I have completed a risk assessment and the pleasure outweights the risks!!

:-*


----------



## jamman

On a positive note your above mentioned method does not involve a partner so we can all sleep in the safe knowledge that no woman/animal is being harmed (humoured) by your infamous greek labido*.

*Sorry to use big words val, look it up, you'll find it


----------



## nutts

errr.. thought the word was strange, so I looked it up. According to the OED Labido means "Japanese word used in normal English: the state one reaches after running vigorously on the spot for 4 days". I also found "Libido", now this is a more interesting word


----------



## vlastan

Melatonin (I hope I spell it right), Is the main ingredient for huge libido! The sun increases the melatonin levels and this acts as an sex stimulant. This is part of a medical survey contacted in the past, which I was reading and proves the point that residents from Mediterrenean countries have more LIBIDO!! As I have now lived for so long outside Greece, I must have had enough dosage of sun to keep me active for life. But again when I go to a sunny place on holidays...it really wakes up the animal inside me!! ;D


----------



## thorney

> ...it really wakes up the animal inside me!! Â ;D


OMG, you let the little gerbil sleep in there!?  ;D


----------



## ^outt^kast^

my gf's agreed to try out Anal  ;D Any tips :


----------



## thorney

Take it very slowly, she doesn't like it too fast. ;D


----------



## vlastan

There are a lot of tips for newbies in this thread! The most important is to treat her anus with respect and be very gentle. Of course you need lubrication like KY jelly and you need to use your finger to relax the muscle a bit before you go in.

Don't go for full penetration and take it easy and slowly...be patient!! If you "violate" her she will close "her dorrs" for ever!!

I hope this quick guid help...just print it out and keep it handy under your pillow for the moment to come!! I hope you both enjoy it!! :-*


----------



## thorney

It's the sheer level of detail I love about this thread ;D


----------



## vlastan

Thorney...are you joking man?? This is a tiny wee summary only...I didn't have the time to type more before!

Forgot to say...I am prepared to supervise the operation if you need my expertise! :-*


----------



## ^outt^kast^

She's a bit scared ...cos me monsters bigger then her head ......and she finx its too big to take .....

isn't KY jelly oil based so breaks up the condom??...

i thought a lube like astroglide woz better ???


----------



## Oldcrow

Japenese like it apparently...!!!


----------



## vlastan

Condom????? Why???

You don't need one at all and it is perfectly safe...you won't catch anything, either you or her!!

NOW...how big is big?


----------



## ^outt^kast^

8 1/2....


----------



## vlastan

8 1/2 cms??? ;D ;D

The problem is not the length but the circumference!! It may be long but look like a pencil thin!! ;D

In any case you shouldn't attemp to insert the whole thing inside the first time! You have to be a real gentleman the first time!


----------



## Major Audi Parts Guru

It's simple.............
Just bend her over......grease her up.....and aim for penetration  ;D 

ps
KY jelly is a water based lubricant


----------



## vlastan

Guru,

You seem to know a lot about KY...are you using it frequently??? And if yes for what purpose??


----------



## Major Audi Parts Guru

Vlastan
I don't use it frequently,i have no need to as the girlies find me irresistable


----------



## vlastan

But the KY is not meant to make you more desirable...it is there to make HER life easier!!!


----------



## ^outt^kast^

cm's ??????.....u measure ur's in cm's ???....dayyum.....anyways mine is inches mate.....so ....errr .... loox like it's lube then action.....hmmmmm.......seems like any other sexual option actually....


----------



## W7 PMC

This thread goes further down hill every time i have a look  ;D  Got to the lower reaches of cock sizes now.

Vlastan: What are you doing to these people? Have you ever considered starting a cult (spelt with an L)  :-*


----------



## vlastan

^OuTT^Kast^

I measure mine in feet!! Â ;D And yes you MUST use some kind of lubrication...it will make your life easier, for both of you actually!

Mr Clarskson....I wasn't going to ask you how big you are...Hayley told me the answer to this in Beaulieu! Well, don't worry mate...nobody is perfect!! At least you have a nice car!! ;D

...don't I just love open minded people in this TT forum!! Â


----------



## W7 PMC

Vlastan:

You wish Hayley had told you while we were at Beaulieu  :-X  ;D


----------



## vlastan

Paul,

Hayley did tell me...and you were there...but you had excessive amounts of alcohol and you couldn't remember anything the following day!


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## W7 PMC

Yeah Right. I would remember something like that and i was not that drunk (honestly guv) :-[

How big did Hayley say it was then?


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## vlastan

Didn't you read my previous message carefully?

I was saying this: "Well, don't worry mate...nobody is perfect!! At least you have a nice car!!"

I hope this answers your latest question!

Are you back from America then?


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## W7 PMC

Vlastan:

I have no issue with the size of my cock and i'm pleased to say that along with having a "nice car" i have had no complaints about either my size or my performance. I would imagine that Hayley knows better :-* :-* :-*.

Has Hayley been on the Forum as i can't recall seeing a post from her for a while :-X

I'm not back from the States until 2nd August and already missing both my babies  (excluding my 2 kids who i miss loads naturally)


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## vlastan

:-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*

...if you are happy we are all happy about you!!

So...do American women like Anal sex then...did you find out?

I haven't seen Hayley.


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## W7 PMC

Vlastan:

Thats a fucking good question ;D I'm going to the movies tonight to watch Men In Black 2, so i'll conduct a little Market Research during the interval and report back


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## vlastan

I knew I could count on you mate...TA!! 

....and if you find anything interesting don't forget to tell them about your old friend from Ipswich...so many years of experience, I am now a Guru!! ;D


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## Andyman

> Paul,
> 
> Hayley did tell me...and you were there...but you had excessive amounts of alcohol and you couldn't remember anything the following day!


Yeah she did I was there too mate ;D

Can't remember what she said tho. I was wasted too. I'm going round her place the weekend after next. I'll ask her then.


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## vlastan

Thanks Andy for this...Paul was so wasted he remembers nothing of it...and I remeber Hayley was using PART of her little finger to answer my question....are you sure Andy, you don't remember the gesture she was doing?

You are going to Hayley home? Are you sure it is safe? AHHH...I see now...Paul is in America so "when the cat is away, the mice dance" LOL ;D


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## W7 PMC

Andy:

Tell me, tell me, please, please ;D Whats all this about you going round to Hayleys whilst i'm out of the country? Smacks of "while the cats away the mice will play" if you ask me.

You know, you just can't trust anyone these days. Wonder if i can pop back to the UK next weekend 

Vlastan:

I'll be sure to let them know mate. May email this entire thread to a few off my American female collegues  ;D


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## Denny

: This entire thread just makes me giggle each time I check it.

Hey guys, it's not the size of the wand that puts the rabbit in the hat, but the skill of the magician ;D


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## Andyman

Oh yeah, now I remember it was the little finger. ;D

Mind you shortly after that she was throwing hot flanels around in the curry house and calling the waiter Mr Papadom Tie!

Yeah well you know. She doesn't wanna do without her extra special lovin' for a whole month does she  ;D


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## vlastan

...but if you are the same thin size of the wand, no matter how good magician you are...the lady will end up uninterested!

I mean think about it...no friction NO FUN!!! This is a Physics laws we are now talking about!!


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## W7 PMC

Fucking International Forum Lag. It takes about 5 minutes to get a response onto the forum from here so you beat me to the same assumption. Andy is a dirty dog, Andy is a dirty dog  ;D  (suppose it is 4000 miles away, but why then does a text message only take 2 seconds).

I'll be having some severe words with the Lovely Hayley when i get back  ;D


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## Andyman

He'll be ok, I think I remember him saying she had one like a mouse's ear!


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## W7 PMC

Andy:

I cant let you talk in that manner about my Wife to be, mouses ears indeed you scoundrel.

Pistols at dawn my good man, well not dawn tomorrow cause i'm not in the country but the next available dawn sometime in August, you cad and you bounder.


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## vlastan

Well, Hayley is a big girl. She is also single, young, sexy and willing to enjoy life!!

Hey Andy...can you give me her phone number please...I may visit her another weekend!

I am sure Paul will find American birds to enjoy there!


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## Andyman

Shouldn't worry, if she reads this she's gonna kick the shit out of me. :-/ More scared of her than of you.

Its completely cosha... trust me.


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## vlastan

Hayley will be your future wife....when is the wedding then?

It would be fun to see a fight between Hayley and Andy!! Give me time and place and I will be there to place the bets!


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## Andyman

OK, I'll take Â£50 on Andy taking a dive in the first 10 seconds.


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## vlastan

I have a pair of medieval torture pants made of steel, ...if you wear them you are guaranteed to win!!


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## W7 PMC

You're both in big trouble if Hayley reads this  .

I'm more scared of Hayley than me as well, but she is still my wife to be. That better not be a Muff Dive in the first 10 seconds Andy 

Nice to catch up with you guys, but i've got to sign off now. Catch you tomorrow and leave my Fiance alone  ;D


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## Denny

Â All the magicians I know have terrific wands....okay, I'm getting out of this thread while the getting's good Â :-*


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## Andyman

> I have a pair of medieval torture pants made of steel


Yeah, I bet you have  ???

But fuck that, I've learnt my lesson when it comes to arguing with women. It ain't worth it.


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## vlastan

OK Paul...Andy and I will make sure Hayley remains virgin and nobody will touch her whilst you are away. We will protect her and make sure she is pure for your wedding nite!!

Denny are you dating Coperfield then? ;D :-* :-* :-*


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## Denny

;D No, Claudia Shiffer told me he didn't have a great wand


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## vlastan

...perhaps by accident he made his wand disappear and couldn't find it anymore?? ;D ;D


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## Major Audi Parts Guru

Denny
So do our female american cousins like to take it in the tradesmans entrance ? Â  ;D


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## Denny

Don't know, never conducted that poll


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## W7 PMC

Paul:

I'm gonna survey some of our American cousins whilst i'm out here. I promised Vlastan that i'd perform some market research and pass on his details if i get any positive responses.

Denny:

Any tips?  ;D

Vlastan & Andy:

You better had leave Hayley pure for when i get back or i'll come looking for you both. She is my other baby ;D ;D


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## Andyman

No Comment. 8)


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## W7 PMC

Andy:

LOL


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## Guest

Denny

I think when you were asked 'do americans like it...', what was meant was...'do YOU take it in the tea towel holder?'

So.....


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## Denny

Paul, that made me laugh..."any tips" :

American women don't really stand around in a bar discussing this topic  and, many American women think that British men are all kinky and secretly just want to be spanked... ;D Maybe we should start a poll on that.... 8)


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## W7 PMC

Denny:

Some of them do ;D ;D I've had some quite interesting discussions over the last couple of weeks.

I would not have guessed that American women thought British men were kinky but they do find the accent a bit of a turn on  . I for one dont like to be spanked and have never been requested to give any women a spanking.

I think we carried out that poll much earlier in this thread around 28th/29th May ;D ;D


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## Denny

Hugo, that's just rude ;D

Good for you, Paul. You know I was just teasing you. Actually, almost married a Brit that I dated for three years...so I know all about the accent  He's actually the person that got me interested in the TT. Showed me the photos of it as a concept vehicle....have fun with your market research


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## W7 PMC

Denny:

I did know you were teasing ;D

At least the relationship with a Brit resulted in TT ownership, so something good came from the 3yrs. Shame i dont see more TT's around Philadelphia, but i've seen a few and a couple had some really unusual detailing ???


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## vlastan

So falling in love with a Brit made you fall in love with a car.

Hmmmm....so falling in love with a Greek then, you will fall in love with Anal sex...makes sense really!! 

Paul, tell us more about the American ladies...what is it they like then? What fetishes do they have?

I spent a lot of time in Athens surrounded by American USAir force military as I was a mile aware from the American base. Had lots of American friends and really enjoyed it. At this time I was more interested in peanut butter and M&Ms so I never managed to understand what Americans are really like behind the curtains!


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## Guest

is this the biggest thread ever ??


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## nutts

Easily the biggest ever. Another funny thread was "Bloke with a TT" by Barely_Legal in the main forum. Funny but no where near this..... ;D


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## vlastan

Not just the biggest but the best too. In this thread you will find rich contents of adult nature. If you follow my tips you will enrich your sexual life with your partner and be a lot happier in life!! :-*


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## ^outt^kast^

Come on...we can't let this thread die......

Question: Do u fink it is a good idea to try an Anal Queen before attempting to try it with an Anal virgin ?

Reason y i'm asking is mayb ... i should practice with some1 who *ahem* knows how to receive it...before trying it with me gf...

Kast^


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## thorney

Why not go the whole hog and ask the gf if she minds you practising with someone before you inflict yourself on her? ;D

You could call it market research


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## vlastan

You should not try this with an anal Queen. As she is a Queen, she will like it hard and fast, whilst a GF may not be happy from the first time.

I came clear instructions for Anal newbies earlier on this thread. So read them again and proceed with caution to your girlfriends anus!! Â 

Leave the Queen for more experienced people...can I have her phone number please? Â ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D


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## ^outt^kast^

Anal Queen = pro.......80 bux a ride apparently!!....

mayb u can do a group buy for this and get a discount ??


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## vlastan

I am game!!

Will you organise this "joy riding"!! ;D


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## W7 PMC

Now Vlastan, there should be no mention of queens in here and i for one wont be subscribing to any such group buy  

(note to Hayley, call Vlastan names next time you see him) ;D


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## vlastan

Hey Paul...it looks like Hayley is very advanced and you don't need to experience a true Queen then???


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## Guest

JampoTT is an arse.


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## vlastan

Hugo,

I am sure that Jampo has an arse too...we all have! But how is this related to anal sex????? :-*


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## Guest

I am new to this forum and have definately found this this thread on the flame room much more informative than any others.

All i can add is that if i had been practising anal sex with my ex bird, she wouldn't have got pregnant, we wouldn't have split up and she wouldn't have keyed my 2 week old TT. (every panel)

Up the Arse, No Babies - I now live my life by it!! ;D


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## Kell

The only time I've tried anal sex, my then GF told me it hurt like buggery.

arf arf


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## vlastan

Joyce....very nasty your ex!! Because she got pregnant she had to damage your car??? Not nice at all! After all it was not only your fault that she got pregnant!

Anyway, now you know...next girlfriend will have to LOVE anal fun!!

Kell

Have you tried it with another girlfriend? Did you follow my instructions for "anal sex newbies"?? Just look a few post earlier to see.


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## vlastan

Hi all,

I had to resurrect this thread as I still haven't given the award away to Rod and Claire.

Just to remind you...a long time ago I said I was going to give a reward to the couple that liked Anal Sex and would post the 200th post. Since then this thread kept going!! I never though it could go so far. Thanks to all of you who made this a success!

So as I announced before the award was a butt plug! But this is an enhanced butt plug and has a whip attached to it!! So there are three uses for Claire and Rod now:

1) Claire can be a pony girl
2) Claire will enjoy the pleasures of the butt plug
3) Rod and Claire can take turns whipping each other bottoms!!! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

I also managed to find a red one, following a request from Claire, but unfortunately not a Misano Red!!

Now the next stage is to mail it to them...and they will do the rest!! :-*


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## thorney

So THATS what plug n play means.


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## vlastan

Thorney,

So many people read this thread but nobody took the courage to reply to it, till you did!

"This device displayed here allows you many uses. You may of course plug and play...alternatively you could plug...unplug...plug...unplug...faster and faster!!" ;D

Above abstract taken from the user's manual!


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## S-Line

Vlastan,

Thanks very much for the prezzie ;D

It brings a whole new meaning to the game"pin the tail on the donkey". 

Even more fun with the blind fold on! 

Cheers... bye for now

Rod & Clair


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