# Long Distance Relantionships???



## deanpoli (Jun 3, 2005)

Do long distance relantionships work? anyone here in that situation?


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## stephengreen (May 6, 2002)

no.


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## kmpowell (May 6, 2002)

stephengreen said:


> no.


Is that a 'no' to a 'Long distance relantionship', or a 'Long distance relationship'?


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## GW1970 (Jul 4, 2005)

i was once, a long time ago.. hurts and usually doesn't work


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## thehornster (Apr 29, 2005)

My brother did it for a year.Girl was from sunderland he was from gravesend kent.they saw each other every other weekend.now she has moved down here and they have bought a house together! [smiley=sweetheart.gif]

I think its a good test of how strong the bond is.if its strong it will work! if not definatly some hurt involved.Especially worring about what they are upto all the time whilst away.


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## paulatt (Oct 28, 2002)

If it is right then it will work, no matter if you live 5 or 500 miles apart.

From personal experience - 
My hubby went to work in US for 2 yrs before we were married. I flew across when I could, probably every 3 months or he came home! 
It worked for us and we got married over there and he eventually came back home to work.


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## forzaf1 (Nov 14, 2004)

I had a relationship for 5yrs with a woman who lived about 1hr 30 down the road. We would only meet at the weekends but would call each other every night.

Depends on your age and what you want in the relationship.

Alex


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## genocidalduck (May 19, 2005)

Did it for 3 years With a girl in Australia...........Worked great! got a few months a year in Aussie. Got to keep my own space. When we were together beings we hadnt seen eachother for months the couple of months we spent with eachother were great no rowing just passion 

However one other reason it did work for 3 years is because we had a understanding that we could see other people. Just as longs it was nothing serious. Obviously if it did get serious we would end it with eachother and go our seperate ways.

But the only way it will work in the long run is if one of you move closer to the other.


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## thehornster (Apr 29, 2005)

genocidalduck said:


> When we were together being we hadnt seen each other for months the couple of months we spent with eachother were great no rowing just passion
> 
> However one other reason it did work for 3 years is because we had a understanding that we could see other people. Just as longs it was nothing serious. Obviously if it did get serious we would end it with eachother and go our seperate ways.
> 
> But the only way it will work in the long run is if one of you move closer to the other.


you slut!!!! :lol: :wink:


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## genocidalduck (May 19, 2005)

Speaking of which making progress with that chick i was telling you about( the one that can't talk english ) Found out shes Polish and she said hello in my native tongue today  Will be marrage next :lol: :lol: :lol: Think she digs me. i told her boss last week that i liked her. Went in today and she was all dressed up her hair perfect etc. Either that or another bloke she likes goes in on a Sunday :x


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## Nando (Feb 5, 2004)

thehornster said:


> genocidalduck said:
> 
> 
> > When we were together being we hadnt seen each other for months the couple of months we spent with eachother were great no rowing just passion
> ...


Thurrock, *Essex* :lol: :wink:


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## deanpoli (Jun 3, 2005)

The problem with me is I live in London and she lives in York. 190 miles away to be exact. She's not to comfortable with the idea of a long distance relantionship, we both realy like eachother, just wonder how it would work? I said id come up to visit her every weekend, but thats alot of travelling though. Does it get on anyone's nerves about travelling??


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## genocidalduck (May 19, 2005)

deanpoli said:


> The problem with me is I live in London and she lives in York. 190 miles away to be exact. She's not to comfortable with the idea of a long distance relantionship, we both realy like eachother, just wonder how it would work? I said id come up to visit her every weekend, but thats alot of travelling though. Does it get on anyone's nerves about travelling??


If you like her that much.....Travelling up there wouldnt bother you at all......You would be to happy to be going to see her.


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## thehornster (Apr 29, 2005)

genocidalduck said:


> deanpoli said:
> 
> 
> > The problem with me is I live in London and she lives in York. 190 miles away to be exact. She's not to comfortable with the idea of a long distance relantionship, we both realy like eachother, just wonder how it would work? I said id come up to visit her every weekend, but thats alot of travelling though. Does it get on anyone's nerves about travelling??
> ...


Most girls if that much in love surly wouldn't give a shit how far it was! its only a 2-3 hour drive. Get genocidalduck to take you and be there in a hour :lol: :lol: :lol:


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## Wallsendmag (Feb 12, 2004)

London -York sub 2hrs on a train Tenner each way no problem


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## deanpoli (Jun 3, 2005)

ok, whats the fastest times you lot managed to drive up north from london? has anyone managed to do york from london?


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## Antwerpman (Nov 4, 2002)

I have done Dover to Newcastle in 4:20 hours  although that was driving on my belgian registered car :wink:

Could do Bishops Stortford (next to Stanstead airport) to Newcastle in 3:30 if the road was clear, and also had it take 7+ one time when the road was bad (going back after the great north run)

I would guess that London - York should be quicker as long as you are starting off on the north side of the city


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## garyc (May 7, 2002)

Back on topic, it depends how you define 'to work'. Do you mean 'to last' or 'to be mutually fulfilling', or a mixture of both?

The optimist in me says that if two people want to be together, they will be. And that time/distance will not be a problem as they would sacrifice othet stuff, like silly jobs etc, to be together.

The cynic in me thinks that a 7 year relationship where you see each other average once a week, is really no longer term than a one year relationship e where a couple are together full time.

Some relationships (like many services relationships) only last because the couple _don't_ actually spend enough time in each others company to really find out about each other - or really get on each others nerves...

Short and intense, or long and steady? :wink:

Actually one can lead into the other, but it's not a given.


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## Lisa. (May 7, 2002)

As some may know, Tim (JampoTT) and I have had a long distance relationship for longer than most will realise. We live 120 miles apart, which on a good run takes about 2 hours. We spend 3 nights out of 7 together and we probably do more exciting things together than most live-together couples. We go on holiday together as often as possible (Thailand, Egypt, Barcelona, Mexico and several UK breaks in the past 18 months alone).

We've tried to split up a few times when things have got tough but we always managed to work things out.

I think we've met our match, completely opposite and oddly equal and it just works and we both know & enjoy the effort it takes , nothing and no-one is taken for granted.

You'll never know how good Friday's can feel so just give it a try, you might be surprised how exciting a long distance relationship can be.

(We "met" on the forum, we didn't like eachother, we argued a lot, he took the piss, I got the hump. That went on for months, we exchanged snotty PM's, then emails. We got friendlier then we met.....)


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## jampott (Sep 6, 2003)

Lisa's right - it makes weekends good.

I was used to travelling around anyway, as before we met, I'd already spent a long period (18+ months) away from home, going back only at weekends.

When we started seeing each other, there was about 80 miles between us... unfortunately, not long after, I started working the other end of the country (living in Cardiff, working in Ipswich) but that didn't stop us. On alternate weekends, I'd get in the car on a Friday, drive 3 hours, pick Lisa up, drive another hour back to my house, spend the weekend there, then on Sunday PM, drive the hour to Lisa's, then on Monday morning drive the 3 hours to Ipswich. On the other alternate weekends, I'd get in the car on a Friday and drive to Cardiff, then drive to Lisa's on a Sunday, spend the night there, and drive to Ipswich on the Monday.

Then I got a contract in Hatfield, and carried on doing something similar...

Now I've moved to Hatfield (a decision to be closer to work, even though it meant setting up home away from Lisa) we usually share the travelling which gives me a break. Alternate weeks she comes to me, or I go to her. For various reasons, its been weighted in my favour over the last few weeks (sometimes there are more fun things to do near London than near Worcester!) but the important thing is that we spend the time together.

Downsides? I never have time to do stuff in the house. As a contractor, I don't take days off in the week...  so I'm either at Lisa's or she's with me on my only days off. Means the DIY has to be done together during our "free" time, and there simply isn't relaxing time to wash the car etc etc. It can sometimes get lonely in the week, too - and the travelling is expensive, and can be a bit traumatic when there's lots of traffic, bad weather etc and all you want to do is see your loved one.

Only you'll know if the relationship is worth it


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## Lisa. (May 7, 2002)

jampott said:


> Downsides? I never have time to do stuff in the house. As a contractor, I don't take days off in the week...  so I'm either at Lisa's or she's with me on my only days off. Means the DIY has to be done together during our "free" time, and there simply isn't relaxing time to wash the car etc etc. It can sometimes get lonely in the week, too - and the travelling is expensive, and can be a bit traumatic when there's lots of traffic, bad weather etc and all you want to do is see your loved one.
> 
> Only you'll know if the relationship is worth it


Laugh :lol: You never want to do DIY on your own and you'd never wash your car even if you had a month of Sunday's! I think you can cross those two downsides out  :wink:


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## jampott (Sep 6, 2003)

Lisa. said:


> jampott said:
> 
> 
> > Downsides? I never have time to do stuff in the house. As a contractor, I don't take days off in the week...  so I'm either at Lisa's or she's with me on my only days off. Means the DIY has to be done together during our "free" time, and there simply isn't relaxing time to wash the car etc etc. It can sometimes get lonely in the week, too - and the travelling is expensive, and can be a bit traumatic when there's lots of traffic, bad weather etc and all you want to do is see your loved one.
> ...


I did used to wash AND polish the TT, I'll have you know...

I know I don't want to do the DIY on my own, but I'd rather it didn't take all our time, sometimes!


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## Lisa. (May 7, 2002)

*DIY then*

D'oh


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## garyc (May 7, 2002)

_Of course onr of the niceties of LDR is that you can squbblr on line and in public._ :wink:


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## jampott (Sep 6, 2003)

garyc said:


> _Of course onr of the niceties of LDR is that you can squbblr on line and in public._ :wink:


You can what? :lol:


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## head_ed (Dec 10, 2002)

jampott said:


> I did used to wash AND polish the TT, I'll have you know...


Want me to get some screen grabs from the Portmeirion video?


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## head_ed (Dec 10, 2002)

Oh,

My 2p on long term relationships is that as long as you find someone who isn't mental it shouldn't matter where you live.

I used to regularly do a 500 mile round trip each weekend to see an ex.. 135 minutes Cardiff to Leeds once.. now that was 'pushing on' :roll:


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## Lisa. (May 7, 2002)

garyc said:


> _Of course onr of the niceties of LDR is that you can squbblr on line and in public._ :wink:


Good innit. Imagine what it will be like if we ever hate eachothers guts 

Mart DO IT :twisted:


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## Lisa. (May 7, 2002)

head_ed said:


> Oh,
> 
> My 2p on long term relationships is that as long as you find someone who isn't mental it shouldn't matter where you live.
> 
> I used to regularly do a 500 mile round trip each weekend to see an ex.. 135 minutes Cardiff to Leeds once.. now that was 'pushing on' :roll:


I'm radio rental.


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## jampott (Sep 6, 2003)

head_ed said:


> jampott said:
> 
> 
> > I did used to wash AND polish the TT, I'll have you know...
> ...


I still remember the commentary. Clean.... Clean.... (ahem)

I've got pictures that PROVE my TT spent a lot of its time clean. You mustn't forget I'd got out of "family life" well before Portmeirion


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## stephengreen (May 6, 2002)

mmm so it would seem long distance relationships only work if they wouldn't if they wasn't. i'll ask the wife to move to the otherside of the country now i know whats wrong :lol:


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## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

Stephen, you know it's the right thing to do! 

Get her packing and get the biggest plazma, beers and your mates round!  :wink:

Even better on her return have a swinging party :lol:


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## g-boy (Jun 3, 2005)

my girlfriend is from london, me manchester.

basically, in the end, one of you has to commit.

my girlfriend moved to manchester to live with me, its now almost two years together. 

one of you has to move in with the other, otherwise it won't work imho.


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## deanpoli (Jun 3, 2005)

hmmm , interesting comments here! I suppose the key is getting to one destination to the other as fast as possible.

One of you said it would take under 2 hours by train to get to york from london... where would you get the train from by the way? I hope not central london.. kings cross station for example. is there any way to catch a train that goes to york from outside london like watford???


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## jampott (Sep 6, 2003)

deanpoli said:


> hmmm , interesting comments here! I suppose the key is getting to one destination to the other as fast as possible.
> 
> One of you said it would take under 2 hours by train to get to york from london... where would you get the train from by the way? I hope not central london.. kings cross station for example. is there any way to catch a train that goes to york from outside london like watford???


You'd be able to catch it somewhere en route. Maybe not Watford - maybe Hemel? Check the timetable...


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## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

deanpoli said:


> hmmm , interesting comments here! I suppose the key is getting to one destination to the other as fast as possible.
> 
> One of you said it would take under 2 hours by train to get to york from london... where would you get the train from by the way? I hope not central london.. kings cross station for example. is there any way to catch a train that goes to york from outside london like watford???


My hubby used to drive back from York every Friday night to Essex A1, M11, M25, A12, 3 hour journey to see me then a drive back up there every Sunday night. He did this for two years before we got married, we bought a house up there together which resulted in me leaving my family and job to get married to be with him. Totally new life for us both. Then his job relocated us back to Essex, where he now travels around the world and is constantly on business trips over seas and we have been married 12 years and together 16 with his job indefinately taking him away on trips but hey that is life.

So yeah a long distance relationship can work married or not if your trusting, mature and dedicated and support eachother with true love, to put in when your together what you then benefit to get out of it when you are together spending quality time with eachother and enjoying eachothers company .


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## DXN (May 18, 2002)

I was in a long distant relation ship during Uni years. Eventually married her and have kids. Had to sell the TT so it DEFINATELY doesn't work.


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## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

DXN said:


> Had to sell the TT


Must be true love [smiley=sweetheart.gif]


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## che6mw (Nov 13, 2003)

deanpoli said:


> hmmm , interesting comments here! I suppose the key is getting to one destination to the other as fast as possible.
> 
> One of you said it would take under 2 hours by train to get to york from london... where would you get the train from by the way? I hope not central london.. kings cross station for example. is there any way to catch a train that goes to york from outside london like watford???


Train direct from London Kings Cross to York. You might struggle to do it more efficiently without going in to central London. You could pick up a train from outside the M25 but then it'd take much longer to get all the way to York as it would stop at a fair few stations on the way.

With regard to driving - it takes about 2 1/2 hours from London to Sheffield. Probably another 1 1/2 hours to York. So a bit of a slog, but an easy (if dull) journey. There may be slightly quicker routes more directly in direction of York though. I've done it plenty of times over a weekend and you can get back up North in time for Friday night beerage, and travel back late Sunday.

From personal experience and if there will one day be an end in sight (one or both of you compromising by moving to be together) then give it a go. Me and Amy managed a long distance relationship for a year and a half. As much as I lost out on my social life in my home town (and this is a very big consideration - you're suddenly out of the loop with mates who socialise at weekends) the journey after work to see her was no worry at all - it just built up the anticipation of finally getting there (and the welcome was pretty hot too  )

We finally moved in together a year ago and the little chap on the left is about as much proof I need on just how worth while the effort needed in sustaining a LDR was. I've no regrets at all - but very early on we both knew that at some point I'd happily move to London to be with her. If neither of you can agree in principle to doing something like this then I'd personally say any time you pour in to a long distance relationship is time better spent doing something else. An LDR is not easy. It requires a lot of effort during the week without much reward.

As an aside York and Leeds are two fantastic cities and if I had the choice of spending every weekend back in Leeds then I know I'd jump at the chance. Check out Star on Friday nights at Leeds Met Uni. I mourn the passing of my time there.


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## deanpoli (Jun 3, 2005)

Thats quite quick, York to Essex in 3 hours. Strange how it takes me 2 1/2 hours to get to wisbech - an area near Kings Lynn in Northfolk which is about 120 miles from northwest london, thats travelling on the A1.

London to York is about 200 miles. Is it true to say it takes two hours to travel every 100 miles. Because it seems you lot travel 100 miles in less than 2 hours.

what speeds do you lot do this in?? a route planner says it takes 3 1/2 hours to get to york from london. Essex on the other hand in further away so thats quite impressive!


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## che6mw (Nov 13, 2003)

deanpoli said:


> Thats quite quick, York to Essex in 3 hours. Strange how it takes me 2 1/2 hours to get to wisbech - an area near Kings Lynn in Northfolk which is about 120 miles from northwest london, thats travelling on the A1.
> 
> London to York is about 200 miles. Is it true to say it takes two hours to travel every 100 miles. Because it seems you lot travel 100 miles in less than 2 hours.
> 
> what speeds do you lot do this in?? a route planner says it takes 3 1/2 hours to get to york from london. Essex on the other hand in further away so thats quite impressive!


If you go the M1 route to Leeds and then over to York that way I can't see you doing it in less than 3 1/2 hours. I have done Enfield to Sheffield many, many times and it takes 2 to 2 1/2 hours. York is another hour at least.

It is motorway virtually all the way though, so I suppose technically you ought to be able to do it in a lot less. Realistically though I wouldn't factor on less than 3 1/2 hours. If you are happy doing that then making the journey in less time can only be a bonus for you.


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