# church



## kingcutter (Aug 1, 2003)

sorry all you church regular's out there but it's fucking shit went to a christing yesterday in the fucking cold uncomfortable seats for an hour then the vicar stated to lecture us about homosexuals and the church I don't want to fucking know at 10.30 in the morning, and then went on about all the starving children in othe rparts of the world, and asked for money, felt such a hypocrite just standing there miming a bit like greasmania really.
And I missed the tt run which made it worse, then watched Henry the fucking fat Tudor king last night which really topped it off. Bleeding c of e


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## GRANNY (Jun 18, 2002)

Poor Mark.
But i agree totally.
Church usually run by hypocrites for hypocrites.
Like my flamin next door neighbour.
Only time i have ever seen happy people in a church was at a friends wedding they are Nigerian, the place Rocked.
I escaped without going up in puff of smoke.
You were right about missing a good drive on Sunday ;D ;D


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## saint (Dec 6, 2002)

Religion is wonky anyway - its all based on stories passed down from generation to generation - when put into all perspective things were simpler back in the old days - people had less of an understanding of the world - comparisions can be made to modern day legends etc...... will people be worshiping them in centuries to come....??


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## Sim (Mar 7, 2003)

Read Food of the Gods right up your street Kingcutter Â .

Terrance McKenna argues that hallucinogenic drugs (magic mushrooms in the main) can be traced to areas used within biblical stories. The parting of the sea, water into wine etc.


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## vlastan (May 6, 2002)

Greeks are very religious and hypocrites of course! 

They go to the church to hear how you must love other people and then they go out and behave like twats!

I used to go to church twice a month with the school and hated. We had to kiss the priest's hand if he was walking on the street and confess regularly.

Religion is something that people believe in to help them and support them in their lives. You are meant to believe in a strong power above us that can protect us if we are vulnerable. This is the idea at least!

The truth is...it is ll about money. The Greek priests are now arguing with the Greek government because they don't want to be told how to run the church. The Greek church has so much money because people are willing to donate so freely. But each is free to do anything that he/she likes with their money. So if this is something they like it is fine. But when the tray comes out for collection and poeple know you then it is show off time, of who has the most money and how much you put there! :-/

Religion is not bad as such, but the priests have turned it into a business.


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## paulatt (Oct 28, 2002)

I got married in an Episcopalian church in USA where the reverend was on his third wife. He was very realistic in his pre nuptual chat - no hypocritical attidude there!!

Great wedding, no family there, chose our own words, had a banana yellow cadillac with tiger print seat covers as the wedding car and an absolutely scrumptious white chocolate mousse cake as a wedding cake and went to a downtown motel for the wedding night.  

Had a massive party when we got home.


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## GRANNY (Jun 18, 2002)

Traditional Wedding was it ;D


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## GRANNY (Jun 18, 2002)

The Nigerian wedding we went to all except me & hubby were Born again Christians.
They ended up singing the same hymn 3 times cos Jesus liked it.
I never heard him say a flappin thing.
Must be the athiest(spelling) in me coming out. ;D
Took 2 1/2 hrs to sing 4 hymns and get wed.


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## vlastan (May 6, 2002)

> I got married in an Episcopalian church in USA where the reverend was on his third wife. He was very realistic in his pre nuptual chat - no hypocritical attidude there!!
> 
> Great wedding, no family there, chose our own words, had a banana yellow cadillac with tiger print seat covers as the wedding car and an absolutely scrumptious white chocolate mousse cake as a wedding cake and went to a downtown motel for the wedding night. Â
> 
> Had a massive party when we got home.


You must be fucking joking!!


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## paulatt (Oct 28, 2002)

Went to a friend's wedding but didnt realise it was a Catholic service with full mass. It went on for hours!!Having spent an enjoyable hour or so in the pub before, the service was excruciating due to pressure on bladder! Ave Maria was the last thing we wanted!!!
Ave Toilet would have been more appropriate.


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## paulatt (Oct 28, 2002)

> You must be fucking joking!! Â


No absolutely true, all of it! 
We were married by the Reverend Augustus Moody Bert III. I have the certificate to prove it!


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## GRANNY (Jun 18, 2002)

Topp up the font ;D


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## vlastan (May 6, 2002)

So you are not allowed to piss in Catholic church? Weird people! ;D


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## DXN (May 18, 2002)

Least you weren't getting cold font water poured on your head! poor little critter.


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## vlastan (May 6, 2002)

> No absolutely true, all of it!
> We were married by the Reverend Augustus Moody Bert III. I have the certificate to prove it!


I guess it is better to be called like this than "Elvis is alive" ;D ;D

Did you have a proper wedding since then?


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## GRANNY (Jun 18, 2002)

Vlastan
Just to change the subject for a minute.
How come you some times get your words wrong but you never get your swearing wrong ;


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## paulatt (Oct 28, 2002)

> Did you have a proper wedding since then?


I thought it was a proper wedding. 
Oh my god, does it mean I have been living in sin all these years and that my kids are b*****ds!


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## vlastan (May 6, 2002)

> Vlastan
> Just to change the subject for a minute.
> How come you some times get your words wrong but you never get your swearing wrong ;


it is a sin to go off topic in a thread dedicated to the church!! You will burn in hell!!


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## vlastan (May 6, 2002)

> I thought it was a proper wedding.
> Oh my god, does it mean I have been living in sin all these years and that my kids are b*****ds!


Just make sure you know who their dad is and they will be fine!! ;D ;D


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## kingcutter (Aug 1, 2003)

would i be a hypercrite if i wore a rosary,seen a nice D&G one in harvey nicks today,all the stars have them ;D


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## paulatt (Oct 28, 2002)

> would i be a hypercrite if i wore a rosary,seen a nice D&G one in harvey nicks today,all the stars have them ;D


No, you work in 'the salon' so you will look okay ;D


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## davidg (Sep 14, 2002)

Mark 
You missed the christing of several TT's on the beach, they all got sand in the font well's,oops foot well's
Just look at the pics from dani and ian


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## GRANNY (Jun 18, 2002)

You cruel swine David.
Isnt it bad enough Mark had to go to Church and miss the drive without you, rubbing his nose in it.
There is a name for people like you. ;D


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## davidg (Sep 14, 2002)

Did you christen your font wells with holy water  oops salt water.


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## StuarTT (May 7, 2002)

> The truth is...it is ll about money.


Try living in Germany and being Catholic.

They have to pay a church tax, which is the equivalent of 2% of your wages. This is then given to the church. But when it comes to church services they come around with the collection plate and ask for more. [smiley=freak.gif]

Of course, you can opt out of the church, which means that you don't have to pay the tax. ;D

But it also means that you or your children cannot get married in church, nor can they have their communion in church. [smiley=huh2.gif]

No problem for me as I am CofE and live in Luxembourg [smiley=dude.gif]


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## vlastan (May 6, 2002)

> Try living in Germany and being Catholic.
> 
> They have to pay a church tax, which is the equivalent of 2% of your wages. This is then given to the church. But when it comes to church services they come around with the collection plate and ask for more. Â [smiley=freak.gif]
> 
> ...


I am very well aware of this. My wife left the church before so we got married in Greece. We were not interested in getting married in Germany anyway.

This is why the churches in Germany are so poor and nobody believes in a religion. They see it as another form of taxation. Very poor show indeed!!


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## kingcutter (Aug 1, 2003)

> Did you christen your font wells with holy water Â  oops salt water.


very good so what do you think about christmas run maybe snow in foot wells instead


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## jam (May 8, 2002)

Christianity = glorified cult

The vicar rabbits on about you not going to heaven if you don't let god into your life and puts fear in people if they don't.

It's a disgrace

All in my humble opinion you understand ;D

Decided after the chrstening I went to on sunday (where the vicar fell down the stairs in the church which was quite amusing) I am never getting my child christened (if I ever have one  )

cheers

James


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## Guy (May 13, 2002)

With all you lot having views like that it's no wonder the coil packs go and the windows drop! 

Have faith and enjoy :-*


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## ronin (Sep 6, 2003)

IMO the bible has to be the best work of fiction ever,
as for the whole religion thing - brainwashing, or cultism. FFS get a life
Went to a Catholic wedding the other day - body of christ and all that eating bread shit - what the fuck, its twisted, really twisted.
Needless to say i refused to pray and bow and that crap. Thing that got me was that when the vicar or whatever that bloke in the dress said something, people instinctively knew how to reply, like it had been droned into their brains and the natural reaction was to reply with all this crap. Funny how an independent cult is condemned but the more the numbers increase the more people find it acceptable


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## jam (May 8, 2002)

> IMO the bible has to be the best work of fiction ever,
> as for the whole religion thing - brainwashing, or cultism. FFS get a life
> Went to a Catholic wedding the other day - body of christ and all that eating bread shit - what the fuck, its twisted, really twisted.
> Needless to say i refused to pray and bow and that crap. Thing that got me was that when the vicar or whatever that bloke in the dress said something, people instinctively knew how to reply, like it had been droned into their brains and the natural reaction was to reply with all this crap. Funny how an independent cult is condemned but the more the numbers increase the more people find it acceptable


completely agree with you mate


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## Steve_Mc (May 6, 2002)

What exactly is being flamed here? The concept of religion or it's rather dated delivery method?

Religion is not for me, but if it makes people happy, peaceful and community-spirited then I'm all for it. Patronising maybe, and for sure religion bigotry is repsonsible for many evils in the world, but as a concept anything that preaches peace and love to fellow man is OK by me.

Churches on the other hand need to get with it. Recaro seats (heated) and hymn numbers displayed with red LEDs on a chrome framed screen would be a start ;-)


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## kingcutter (Aug 1, 2003)

> Read Food of the Gods right up your street Kingcutter Â .
> 
> Terrance McKenna argues that hallucinogenic drugs (magic mushrooms in the main) can be traced to areas used within biblical stories. The parting of the sea, water into wine etc.


went to get that book out of the libary today they only have one copy in the whole of lancashire,now that could be a whole new flame fucking hell what do i pay rates for i can resrve it for 60p may take upto 3 weeks to find might as well just buy it


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## CapTT (Mar 2, 2003)

Only ever been to church once and some bastard in a white gown tried to drown me so I havn`t been back since!.

I agree about the bible totally.Explain this O`religous ones:

According to the bible Adam was the first man on earth. Eve was the first woman on earth.They had two children ,Cain and Abel, who were both boys. So where did everybody else come from?. How did two boys procreate the rest of mankind.?. I might be missing something but It don`t make any sense to me , any of it !.


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## vlastan (May 6, 2002)

Because Eve was made my God, she didn't have any health issues delivering children fathered by her own children!  ;D


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## ronin (Sep 6, 2003)

> went to get that book out of the libary today they only have one copy in the whole of lancashire,now that could be a whole new flame fucking hell what do i pay rates for i can resrve it for 60p may take upto 3 weeks to find might as well just buy it


read chariots of the gods as well - big eye opener


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## kingcutter (Aug 1, 2003)

> read chariots of the gods as well - big eye opener


who's that by ron


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## Poj (Mar 19, 2003)

If this was posted a few weeks ago cruise up to the Welsh mountains could have been organised. A good crop of mushrooms this year. : :

Could then see if it turns you religous.


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## jam (May 8, 2002)

> read chariots of the gods as well - big eye opener


It's by a guy called Erich Von Daniken

Good book, it asks the question 'Was god an astronaut'

Good read 

cheers

James


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## garyc (May 7, 2002)

You are all forgiven.


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## kingcutter (Aug 1, 2003)

i still think the pyramids are from outer space :-/


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## garyc (May 7, 2002)

> i still think the pyramids are from outer space :-/


If you take the right drugs, they are indeed. 8)


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## CapTT (Mar 2, 2003)

> Because Eve was made my God, she didn't have any health issues delivering children fathered by her own children!


Right.So what you are saying is that the bible promotes Paedophilia ?. Its OK to have sex with your children according to the bible then.Incest is a game for all the family and all that.

That`ll explain all the recent cases in the media of the clergy being jailed for Paedophile behaviour etc.. It seems that the bible is telling its apostles some mighty sick stuff. Don`t trust a vicar at all then.

Religion just gets more evil by the day as you think about it. The examples are endless it seems.

The best plan is to avoid religion at all cost I think.


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## kingcutter (Aug 1, 2003)

> Right.So what you are saying is that the bible promotes Paedophilia ?. Its OK to have sex with your children according to the bible then.Incest is a game for all the family and all that.
> 
> That`ll explain all the recent cases in the media of the clergy being jailed for Paedophile behaviour etc.. It seems that the bible is telling its apostles some mighty sick stuff. Don`t trust a vicar at all then.
> 
> ...


i think Necrophilia is dead boring ;D


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## Poj (Mar 19, 2003)

> i think Necrophilia is dead boring


I used to do this untill some rotten cnut split on me


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