# Are you ScoTTish?



## Hev (Feb 26, 2005)

If yer struggling tae reed this bitty jist stop and bile yer head min. This is pure dead brillant!!!!! Are you Scottish? You know you are a true Scot if............

1. Ye can properly pronounce McConnochie, Ecclefechan, Milngavie, Sauchiehall St, St Enoch, Auchtermuchty and Aufurfuksake.
2. Ye actually like deep fried battered pizza fae the chippie.
3. Yer used tae four seasons in wan day.
4. Ye canna pass a chip/kebab shop withoot sleverin when yer blootert.
5. Ye kin fall about pished withoot spilling yer drink.
6. Ye see people wearin shell suits with Burberry accessories.
7. Ye measure distance in minutes.
8. Ye kin understaun Rab C Nesbitt and know characters just like him, in yer ain family.
9. Ye go tae Saltcoats cos ye think it is like gaun tae the ocean.
10. Ye kin make hael sentences jist wae sweer wurds.
11. Ye know whit haggis is made ae and stull like eating it.
12. Somedy ye know his used a fitba schedule tae plan thur wedding day date.
13. You've been at a wedding and fitba scores are announced in the Church/Chapel.
14. Ye urny surprised tae find curries, pizzas, kebabs, fish n chips, iron-bru, **** and nappies all in the wan shop.
15. Yer holiday home at the seaside has calor gas under it.
16. Ye know irn-bru is a hangover cure.
17. Ye learnt tae sweer afore ye learnt tae dae sums.
18. Ye actually understand this and yurr gonnae send it tae yer pals.
19. Finally, you are 100% Scot if you have ever said/heard 
these words;
How's it hingin
clatty
boggin
cludgie
pished
get it up ye
Wee beasties
erse bandit
amurny
Away an bile yer heid
peely-wally
humphey backit
ba'-heid
baw bag
dubble nugget

And finally......A wee Glesga wumman goes intae a butchershop, where the butcher has just came oot the freezer, and is standing haunds ahint his back, with his erse aimed at an electric fire. The wee wumman checks oot the display case then asks, "Is that yer Ayrshire bacon?" "Naw," replies the butcher. "Its jist ma haun's ah'm heatin'.

Hev x


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## YELLOW_TT (Feb 25, 2004)

No I am not and thank god for that :wink:


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## John C (Jul 5, 2002)

Fab Hev. just fab! rotflmao

I want to make a MP3 of that and post here just for our English friends to hear.


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## phodge (Sep 1, 2002)

Anybody here speak English??

:wink:


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## YELLOW_TT (Feb 25, 2004)

phodge said:


> Anybody here speak English??
> 
> :wink:


The Romans built a wall near me to keep this lot out I think it is in need of a bit of work and bloody soon :wink: :lol:


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## TTonyTT (Apr 24, 2006)

And some people are actually *proud *to call themselves Scottish ?? :?

:wink:


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## slg (May 6, 2005)

TTonyTT said:


> And some people are actually *proud *to call themselves Scottish ?? :?
> 
> :wink:


Probably in the same respect that some people are actually proud to be called English!! :roll: :wink:


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## TeeTees (Mar 9, 2006)

So what does it say ? :? :lol:


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## YELLOW_TT (Feb 25, 2004)

TeeTees said:


> So what does it say ? :? :lol:


It says thank your lucky stars you are not Scotish :wink:


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## TTonyTT (Apr 24, 2006)

YELLOW_TT said:


> TeeTees said:
> 
> 
> > So what does it say ? :? :lol:
> ...


 :lol: :lol:


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## Homie (Feb 18, 2006)

Hev said:


> Are you Scottish? You know you are a true Scot if............
> 
> Hev x


I think like many people from the central belt you are confusing being Scottish with being a Weedgie. A problem perpetuated by Scottish radio and TV who only ever feature programs based in Glasgow with the exception of a few token gestures to other areas.


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## slg (May 6, 2005)

YELLOW_TT said:


> TeeTees said:
> 
> 
> > So what does it say ? :? :lol:
> ...


or even Scottish !

:wink: :roll:


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## Wallsendmag (Feb 12, 2004)

YELLOW_TT said:


> phodge said:
> 
> 
> > Anybody here speak English??
> ...


That would be here then :wink:


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## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

I tried reading it it a scottish accent instead of essex .... made a whole lot more sense :wink:


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## jock (May 12, 2002)

slg said:


> YELLOW_TT said:
> 
> 
> > TeeTees said:
> ...


Yes, had he been Scottish he would have had a decent education!!

Jock

:lol:


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## Wallsendmag (Feb 12, 2004)

jock said:


> slg said:
> 
> 
> > YELLOW_TT said:
> ...


Then again if he was Scottish and didn't have a good education he wouldn't have to pay for Sky TV :wink: And I bet they get free pies


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## jock (May 12, 2002)

Almost certainly!

Jock

:lol: 8)


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## The Silver Surfer (May 14, 2002)

:lol:

Like it, Hev.


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