# HSBC's exclusive village branch



## Toshiba (Jul 8, 2004)

"All customers can still deposit and withdraw funds at Canford Cliffs 
Some HSBC customers in a Dorset village will no longer be able to see their bank manager as the branch turns into one of the most exclusive in England. 
At its Canford Cliffs branch, the self-titled "world's local bank" will only allow face-to-face banking for its "premier" customers.

The move, which starts in June, means Canford Cliffs will be the country's only exclusively "premier" HSBC branch.

An HSBC spokesman said it has no plans to introduce such a service elsewhere.

The cheapest house currently on the market in Canford Cliffs, near Poole, is priced at Â£330,000 with the most expensive priced at more than Â£8m.

To be eligible for the face-to-face banking service at Canford Cliffs, customers must have:

Â£50,000 savings
or a Â£200,000 mortgage
or a Â£100,000 mortgage and Â£75,000 salary
or pay Â£19.95 a month "premier" account fee and have Â£75,000 salary "

Nice - how many more will follow???


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## jampott (Sep 6, 2003)

You think this is more "Off Topic" or were you reaching out to the rich folk in Other Marques? :lol:


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## Toshiba (Jul 8, 2004)

I thought this part of the forum had a better class of visitors. Maybe it needs the same sort of rules to post here?

OK, i cocked up.

I'm always reaching!


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## Dr_Parmar (May 10, 2002)

there is an "Exclusive" HSBC Premier Branch in Canary Wharf, Jubilee Place Mall.

Barclays have a similar branch in Cabot Square, i believe its called Barclays Premier?


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## garyc (May 7, 2002)

NatWest have PrimeLine.

They are all bankers.


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## Lisa. (May 7, 2002)

I think it's a great idea...I hate having to mix the riff-raff


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## Kell (May 28, 2002)

I don't see the problem in them opening a branch, but it's a shame they have to convert an existing one.

Though from the info on the surrounding area, it doesn't look like it would exclude many people anyway.


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## BAMTT (Feb 22, 2004)

Citigroup has Citigold


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## robokn (Feb 21, 2006)

garyc said:


> NatWest have PrimeLine.
> 
> They are all bankers.


It is called private now i thought everybody had one of these accounts :lol: :lol: :lol:


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## Toshiba (Jul 8, 2004)

I have private banking - its hardly the same league, and you dont get a branch!

Private Bank Account
The Private Bank Account is only available to those persons with a minimum sole annual income of Â£75,000 or joint income of Â£100,000 or savings of Â£50,000, or by invitation. Over 18s only. To qualify for and retain the Private Bank Account your salary (or equivalent) must be mandated to your Private Bank Account.


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## mighTy Tee (Jul 10, 2002)

robokn said:


> garyc said:
> 
> 
> > NatWest have PrimeLine.
> ...


Primeline (Private) - Of course. :wink:

As for Canford Cliffs, it is hardly a village, more a very upmarket suberb on Poole. I suspect they are trying to prevent the grockles from using it in their swim trunks and dragging sand into the branch......


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## BAMTT (Feb 22, 2004)

mighTy Tee said:


> grockles


 :lol: :lol: :lol: I haven't heard that word for about 600 years


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## TTonyTT (Apr 24, 2006)

Toshiba said:


> To be eligible for the face-to-face banking service at Canford Cliffs, customers must have:
> 
> Â£50,000 savings
> or a Â£200,000 mortgage
> ...


*That *sounds like the common riff-raff to me. Surely no-one earns less than Â£75k these days? 

I don't remember the last time I went inside a bank. If only I could get cash delivered (via the internet of course), I wouldn't even need to stop outside one anymore.


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## Leg (Jan 11, 2006)

I dont have a salary and I'm a premier account holder for free. I popped in the other day when I was passing and I had to Queue with some common people, shant be doing that again. One of them had Hyundai keys in his hand, I had to have a shower when I got home :wink:


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## jam (May 8, 2002)

I get my HSBC Premier for free too - they invited me to join. I think it was because of a family member's dealings with the bank though

Not complaining

The free travel insurance is a bonus


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## golfin fun (Jan 25, 2007)

Lisa. said:


> I think it's a great idea...I hate having to mix the riff-raff


 :?


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## Wallsendmag (Feb 12, 2004)

golfin fun said:


> Lisa. said:
> 
> 
> > I think it's a great idea...I hate having to mix the riff-raff
> ...


OMG another monkey hanger :lol:


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## TTonyTT (Apr 24, 2006)

golfin fun said:


> thank the lord i dont think like you.


I think "like you" was unnecessary in that sentence :roll:


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## phope (Mar 26, 2006)

I don't see the problem in offering a "branch" like that solely for their better off clients...but whoever is in charge of PR for HSBC though should be sacked for the way it's being portrayed..HSBC's name is getting mauled for the bad publicity.

My employers criteria for the section of the private bank I work for is net assets of Â£1m+, annual salary of Â£250k+, influential person in a key corporation that we support, or by invitation. We also look after the friends, family and associates of our clients if our customers simply ask, so money is not always the object.

The sort of stuff we do is completely removed from our branch next door...people with Â£20m personal overdrafts and guys with net worths of Â£100m kinda expect a different service from your ordinary straightforward customers  When you start dealing with the likes of Lloyds of London syndicates, a cashier just doesn't have the knowledge.

The properly rich are OK to deal with on the whole...it's the crass oiks who think they are wealthy (and shout about it to everyone) when in reality they're not that are the pains. :roll:


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## Wallsendmag (Feb 12, 2004)

phope said:


> I don't see the problem in offering a "branch" like that solely for their better off clients...but whoever is in charge of PR for HSBC though should be sacked for the way it's being portrayed..HSBC's name is getting mauled for the bad publicity.
> 
> My employers criteria for the section of the private bank I work for is net assets of Â£1m+, annual salary of Â£250k+, influential person in a key corporation that we support, or by invitation.
> 
> ...


Can I get a loan for a R8 then :wink:


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## phope (Mar 26, 2006)

wallsendmag said:


> Can I get a loan for a R8 then :wink:


Certainly sir...when would be convenient for you to pay back the money?

I'll have the cheque hand delivered by our chaffeur at a convenient time


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## Leg (Jan 11, 2006)

golfin fun said:


> Lisa. said:
> 
> 
> > I think it's a great idea...I hate having to mix the riff-raff
> ...


Couldnt agree more.

I think there is a very important role for everyone to play in society, especially scuffers, dole spungers and illiterate people who cant spell nor use grammar.

Otherwise, how the fuck will the rest of us feel superior, not to mention how will my bins get emptied and who will deliver my copy of the Times on a Sunday morning?


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## golfin fun (Jan 25, 2007)

Leg said:


> golfin fun said:
> 
> 
> > Lisa. said:
> ...


another cnut with an inflated ego, :roll:

if i can't spell or use grammer properly whoop de fookin doo..

your ego needs putting into check i am afraid pal,

i would deliver your times no problem,as my ego would let me.

i bet your dreams only contain you and your over inflated self.

how do you fit in in to society then?

answer on a post card :roll:


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## Leg (Jan 11, 2006)

golfin fun said:


> another cnut with an inflated ego, :roll:


Complete and total cnut if you dont mind, ill not be undersold.

My ego lives up to itself, it isnt over inflated, I am that wonderful.



golfin fun said:


> if i can't spell or use grammer properly whoop de fookin doo..


I was also born into scuffdom without education and privelage, there isn't any glory in failing to improve but then again, someone has to empty the bins as I said. Mind you I did get a D grade Geography O level as I recall so I know my arse from my elbow and how a river forms, thats all I got from school though.



golfin fun said:


> your ego needs putting into check i am afraid pal


I checked it, it fails to keep up with my true greatness. I'm not your pal although I'll tip you come Christmas so long as you dont spill rubbish on my drive.



golfin fun said:


> i would deliver your times no problem,as my ego would let me.


Good lad, before 9am preferably, I like to shag the Mrs, walk the dog and be home to read my paper in good time on a Sunday morning. Get it right and there will be a shiny 50p waiting for you! Exciting eh.



golfin fun said:


> i bet your dreams only contain you and your over inflated self.


Actually my dreams generally involve a Veyron, Kylie, Halle Berry, a family size tub of Vaseline and you pumping the steam machine. It tends to result in my over inflated self hence the need for my paper early on a Sunday morning.



golfin fun said:


> how do you fit in in to society then?


It tends to fit around me.



golfin fun said:


> answer on a post card :roll:


Why? Is your Internet connection down?

I wont bring your multiple posts slating 'chavs' up, dont want to make you look hypocritical.


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## TTonyTT (Apr 24, 2006)

pmsl

At first I thought Mr golfin fun was just taking the piss / being sarcastic / ironic (or whatever the right word is).

But he *was *being serious, wasn't he?

"Care in the community". Just when will we get it right? :?


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## Leg (Jan 11, 2006)

TTonyTT said:


> pmsl
> 
> At first I thought Mr golfin fun was just taking the piss / being sarcastic / ironic (or whatever the right word is).
> 
> ...


Bang out of order, especially calling Lisa a c u n t...............



golfin fun said:


> Lisa. said:
> 
> 
> > I think it's a great idea...I hate having to mix the riff-raff
> ...


A post composed of the most dire and stench ridden arsejuice I've had the misfortune to read in some time. Bearing in mind the competition for that accolade on this forum, thats an achievement!


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## Stig (Apr 14, 2007)

This is absolutely disgraceful and shouldnt be allowed to happen regardless of how money you have or havent got.


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## golfin fun (Jan 25, 2007)

Leg said:


> golfin fun said:
> 
> 
> > another cnut with an inflated ego, :roll:
> ...


well done i like your style :lol:


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## golfin fun (Jan 25, 2007)

TTonyTT said:


> pmsl
> 
> At first I thought Mr golfin fun was just taking the piss / being sarcastic / ironic (or whatever the right word is).
> 
> ...


loving this one too :wink:


> Care in the community


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## jampott (Sep 6, 2003)

golfin fun said:


> Lisa. said:
> 
> 
> > I think it's a great idea...I hate having to mix the riff-raff
> ...


What a total bell-end. You got completely the wrong end of the stick.

Lisa doesn't have 2 pennies to scratch her arse with, and hates having to queue up with the rich people. :roll:

On the otherhand, the less *I* have to deal with society's losers, the better. I can't remember the last time I had to go to a bank counter.

I think Post Office Counters should introduce a similar system though, so I don't have to queue with the coffin dodgers and unemployed, when all I want to do is send a parcel.

Where I live is so affluent, Waitrose has "Gold Lanes", and you aren't allowed to queue in them if your net worth is less than 7 figures. Woo hoo! :-*


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## Lisa. (May 7, 2002)

golfin fun said:


> Lisa. said:
> 
> 
> > I think it's a great idea...I hate having to mix the riff-raff
> ...


LOL :lol:

I don't think I need to comment, suffice to say YOU have made yourself look like a complete CNUT!

Yes I did have a TT, but it was a poor man's LHD....what does that tell you?

You have a major chip on your shoulder.

Enjoy the pitch and putt, do you have to caddy to make extra pennies? Or do you fish around in the pond looking for lost golf balls to sell?


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## TTonyTT (Apr 24, 2006)

golfin fun said:


> loving this one too :wink:
> 
> 
> > Care in the community


 :?

You didn't take up the "buy one, get one free" deal on brain cells, did you.


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## Lisa. (May 7, 2002)

jampott said:


> golfin fun said:
> 
> 
> > Lisa. said:
> ...


And I *still* think it's a great idea...I hate having to mix riff-raff and cnuts.

Pity the forum has gained a few more of the latter.


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## Private Prozac (Jul 7, 2003)

Can I join in please?

golfin fun ~ what a complete nob cheese! :?

Talk about missing the humorous point altogether. Is the 'cupholder' in his car, (that he's so proud to boast about in his signature), to keep his brain cell in when the rest of the family aren't fighting over it?

Probably hasn't even got a TT, coming from Hartlepool, and just sits at his PC all day knocking one out over pictures of them!

And, before you start golfin fun, *yes* it is a BMW - *yes* it is a heap of shit - *yes* I have owned a TT for 4 years - *yes* You are this weeks special 'Forum wanker of the week'. Congratulations!


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## Leg (Jan 11, 2006)

TT2BMW said:


> Probably hasn't even got a TT, coming from Hartlepool


Ooops, Andy is from Hartlepool I believe. :wink:

This 'ooh this is really bad' crap is err, crap. Those people objecting to this seem to have forgotten that trains and planes have had business class, 1st class and standard class etc for years. That you can become a 'gold' member (for example) in many associations and clubs by spending a little more and a million other things where there are different standards of memebership or service.

Money gives you access to a better standard of life in our society, full stop. That ranges from the house you live in, the car you drive through to how you bank and a whole raft of other things. Unfortunately the USSR and China tried the other way and it doesnt work, hence the USSR doesnt exist anymore and have their own billionaires now as does China (and many more to come by the looks of how Brown handles the UKs gold reserves :roll: ).


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## Lisa. (May 7, 2002)

It's great that the uneducated and illiterate can scrape together enough money to be able to buy a TT these days though.

You have to give him credit for that, he is obviously very proud, even if he is stupid.


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## digimeisTTer (Apr 27, 2004)

That's my bank


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## Lisa. (May 7, 2002)

Don't worry, everyone is welcome here. :lol:


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## jampott (Sep 6, 2003)

HSBC = Has Shit, Broke Customers.


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## Leg (Jan 11, 2006)

jampott said:


> HSBC = Has Shit, Broke Customers.


Have Shagged Blonde Corker, Hoped She Bangs Cock, she did, then Have Sauce Beer n Chips end night with Heave Stinky Big Crap?


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## mighTy Tee (Jul 10, 2002)

digimeisTTer said:


> That's my bank


Not any more Andy, you account it being moved to the poor end of Poole.


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## digimeisTTer (Apr 27, 2004)

Divorce is a terrible thing 

still my bank tho' 

oh and last time i checked i wasn't poor


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