# Dogs. Especially small, yappy dogs.



## ScoobyTT (Aug 24, 2009)

Especially early on a Sunday morning.





That is all.


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## Toshiba (Jul 8, 2004)

deleted


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## ScoobyTT (Aug 24, 2009)

The little fucker's at it again! Any time anything walks by, any time anything drives along, a bird farts, a gust of wind, a leaf falling off a tree. DIE you stinking yappy piece of shit! [smiley=smash.gif] [smiley=smash.gif] [smiley=smash.gif] :mrgreen:

I bet its owners think it's really clever and that it "knows" when they're coming home and barks hello. No, no, no, it barks at EVERYTHING you morons, it doesn't recognise you as its owner it's just barking for the sake of it because it's absolutely fucking clueless.

That's it, the minigun's going on my Christmas list :lol: :lol: :lol:


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## head_ed (Dec 10, 2002)

Yip yap yip yap!!!!!

PUNT!

*silence*

Job done


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## Nilesong (Jan 19, 2009)

:lol: :lol:


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## ScoobyTT (Aug 24, 2009)

The punt...

...how I _dreeeeeam _of the punt. And the silence. :lol:

A bit like this:





Bloody RSPCA and their "Prevention of Canine Ass-kicking" :lol: :lol:


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## head_ed (Dec 10, 2002)

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Exactly!


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## Dash (Oct 5, 2008)

I know how you feel. There was a yappy dog next to my Dad's which used to wake me up at silly times (I think they used to get pissed off with it too and chuck it out at 5am). I dreamt of either a C4 belt strapped to the dog for some remote detonation fun, or mortars over the garden wall.

Your approach is similar to my desired approach for dealing with the other noisy neighbour - seagulls. But I don't want to get involved so I want one of these on the roof:


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## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

My neighbour's jack russell goes f*****g bazerk when it is about to go for a walk and even in the car it's yapping for it [smiley=bigcry.gif] talk about over excited and highly strung [smiley=rifle.gif] [smiley=rifle.gif] [smiley=rifle.gif] [smiley=rifle.gif] [smiley=rifle.gif] [smiley=rifle.gif] [smiley=rifle.gif] [smiley=rifle.gif] [smiley=rifle.gif] [smiley=rifle.gif] [smiley=rifle.gif] [smiley=rifle.gif] [smiley=rifle.gif] . Mind you the dad of said dog is a loud w****r also!


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## robokn (Feb 21, 2006)

Ahhhhh goalkeeper 30mm shells at a great rate of knots, those mini guns are actually deployed on ships with
people firing them from the hip


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## ScoobyTT (Aug 24, 2009)

Dash said:


> I know how you feel. There was a yappy dog next to my Dad's which used to wake me up at silly times (I think they used to get pissed off with it too and chuck it out at 5am). I dreamt of either a C4 belt strapped to the dog for some remote detonation fun, or mortars over the garden wall.
> 
> Your approach is similar to my desired approach for dealing with the other noisy neighbour - seagulls. But I don't want to get involved so I want one of these on the roof:


mmmmmm roof-mounted cannon... I WANT ONE! Gulls AND dogs eliminated with ONE convenient device! :lol:

I like that C4 belt idea too. Or a collar like in The Running Man... "Noooo Bowser, the sonic deadline is still up! NOOOO!" BOOM. :roll: :lol:

And dogs like throw and retrieve too... so throw them a stick - of dynamite.



Dotti said:


> My neighbour's jack russell goes f*****g bazerk when it is about to go for a walk and even in the car it's yapping for it !


Haha! Yeah this little yappy fucker yaps in the car when it's off, and is STILL yapping when they come back, so all the way down the drive it's YIP YAP YAP YAP. Yes you're home, well done you canine fuckwit! [smiley=rifle.gif]


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## Dotti (Mar 9, 2003)

ScoobyTT said:


> Haha! Yeah this little yappy fucker yaps in the car when it's off, and is STILL yapping when they come back, so all the way down the drive it's YIP YAP YAP YAP. Yes you're home, well done you canine fuckwit! [smiley=rifle.gif]


Exactly the same as my neighbour's jack Russell, walks are just not enough neither are car rides :lol: ... maybe a brick over it's head might be enough to tame it :lol:  :wink:


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## Gone (May 5, 2009)

THere's only one thing to do with them.

Just a blatant excuse for some mid-90s goodness really but it would work





 just in case....


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## GEM (Jun 21, 2007)

badyaker said:


> THere's only one thing to do with them.
> 
> Just a blatant excuse for some mid-90s goodness really but it would work
> 
> ...


Double, treble, you name it :lol: :lol: :lol: *PMSL* :lol: :lol: :lol: 
John.


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## sillysam89 (May 19, 2010)

I hate small yappy dogs, Especially Minature Yorkshire Terriers... yap yap bleedin yap!!!!! SHUUUUUUUUTTTTT UUUUUUPPPPPPPP
[smiley=rifle.gif] [smiley=rifle.gif] [smiley=rifle.gif]


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## PaulS (Jun 15, 2002)

I hate those yappy dogs too. The ones that look like greasy drowned rats. They spend all their life tugging at their leads, yapping at anything that moves, yapping at things that don't move, shitting, peeing, sniffing shit, sniffing pee, and sniffing other dogs arseholes. Highly annoying, disgusting little creatures, that don't deserve a place on this planet. Their owners aren't much better either. Lets stand in the street with our dogs tugging on their leads, face to face, (or face to arse) and compare how loud they can yapp at each other. And then compare how much they shit or piss.

A house nearby has a pair of these things. Sometimes the bloody things whine all day long if the owners are out. Said owners love slamming their front door, as if there is no one else on the planet to disturb. Do us a favour, next time dampen the noise by slamming your door with your dogs head in it!


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## ScoobyTT (Aug 24, 2009)

:lol: :lol: :lol: Quality! Yes my neighbours do the same and go out leaving the little fucker to bark and anything and nothing. I think dogs as door mufflers has to be one of the ways forward for a new Britain! If the dog's small enough, wouldn't you just LOVE to try my new Olympic sport using small yappy dogs:





Training is easy: open up a dog-walking service, and take them down to your nearest athletics field. Job done.


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## PaulS (Jun 15, 2002)

Yeah i'd like to do the same with some of the owners too - as they stand by as their dog craps on the pavement, and then walk off!

Just what is the point of owning one of these pathetic excuses for a dog? May be its some kind of surrogate motherhood - most of the owners seem to be women. May be they like dressing it up and telling it how cute it is, as it licks its your face, after it's just done the same to its bottom [smiley=toilet.gif]

Quiche Lorraine - the B-52's :wink:

Now cats - they are cool


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## GEM (Jun 21, 2007)

PaulS said:


> May be they like dressing it up and telling it how cute it is, as it licks its your face, after it's just done the same to its bottom [smiley=toilet.gif]
> 
> Now cats - they are cool


 :lol: PMSL :lol: But so true  
Got no time for dogs. I like 'cool cats' too.
John.


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## ScoobyTT (Aug 24, 2009)

Fucking half past seven this morning!! Stupid stinking bast'd canine crock of shit! [smiley=bomb.gif] [smiley=furious3.gif] [smiley=bomb.gif]


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## wallstreet (Oct 19, 2009)

ScoobyTT said:


> Fucking half past seven this morning!! Stupid stinking bast'd canine crock of shit!


Have you tried talking to your neighbours?

I remember when I did, they turned racist - scumbag son who lived elsewhere on social housing visited his dad. Got daytime drunk attacked me then the police, I did manage to pull out a ring from his face!

A few months more, CCTV later I had them banned from the village, the judge kicked them out. I also handed them a 6 month suspended sentence for what they did! In trying to kill me. All because of their f'ing dogs. I left the UK a year later. Now there are laws. A nuisance dog can be reported, a department in the local council start the procedure and you have to write up all the times & data. My neighbour had 6 dogs, sone really big dogs! At one time I counted 50 shits in their garden. I fenced my garden but you can't stop the smell.


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## ScoobyTT (Aug 24, 2009)

wallstreet said:


> Have you tried talking to your neighbours?
> I remember when I did, they turned racist - scumbag son who lived elsewhere on social housing visited his dad. Got daytime drunk attacked me then the police, I did manage to pull out a ring from his face!
> 
> A few months more, CCTV later I had them banned from the village, the judge kicked them out. I also handed them a 6 month suspended sentence for what they did! In trying to kill me. All because of their f'ing dogs. I left the UK a year later. Now there are laws. A nuisance dog can be reported, a department in the local council start the procedure and you have to write up all the times & data. My neighbour had 6 dogs, sone really big dogs! At one time I counted 50 shits in their garden. I fenced my garden but you can't stop the smell.


Nice. :? You're really selling this "talk to the neighbours" idea I can tell :lol: :lol: They wouldn't be that bad, but it's the principle of the thing in that I shouldn't have to talk to them! They should just get their dog silenced. :lol:


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## wallstreet (Oct 19, 2009)

I agree with you mate! It sucks and the lil squirt has had it!

Shame you have to talk to them, people forget to give a crap. If your exhaust was loud you would get done probably. What will you do, move?


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## ScoobyTT (Aug 24, 2009)

I'd like to, a nice house in the middle of a bunch of fields or by the side of a lake, river, coast or something, anything without neighbours, but I'm kinda stuck  Maybe another country! One where dogs are restricted to being food, landfill, or working dogs. Oh if only there were such a paradise


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## wallstreet (Oct 19, 2009)

ScoobyTT said:


> I'd like to, a nice house in the middle of a bunch of fields or by the side of a lack, river, coast or something, anything without neighbours, but I'm kinda stuck Maybe another country! One where dogs are restricted to being food, landfill, or working dogs. Oh if only there were such a paradise


Welcome to Switzerland then! Loads of Brits all welcome!


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## ScoobyTT (Aug 24, 2009)

If they use dogs as food for the purple Milka cows, and as landfill to make mountain passes I can drive my TT on, with the rest working to help blind and deaf people and farmers, then *SOLD*! :lol: :lol: Time to look up Swiss housing prices


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## wallstreet (Oct 19, 2009)

ScoobyTT said:


> If they use dogs as food for the purple Milka cows, and as landfill to make mountain passes I can drive my TT on, with the rest working to help blind and deaf people and farmers, then SOLD! Time to look up Swiss housing prices


183 nationalities of the world here, tax 18-20%! Off course you can afford it!!


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## ScoobyTT (Aug 24, 2009)

So I just need a job then! Well I should at least visit the place and see if I like it first :lol: On the face of it though what's not to like: purple cows, mountains, snow in winter, no snow in summer, alpine stuff, lakes, low tax, and lots of leftover gold and artwork from WW2 :wink:

Wait.. I should probably research salaries, house prices, cost of living, legality of shooting yappy dogs, and so forth. They drive on the wrong side of the road too!  :lol:


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## ScoobyTT (Aug 24, 2009)

Silent night,
Holy night,
All is calm, 
All is..
no, wait, SHUT YOUR FUCKING DOG UP! :lol:

I don't know. There I was hoping for some peace and quiet to chill out over the festive period and what do I get? Some antisocial bast'd animal yapping away in the morning and yapping away at night. It wouldn't be a family Christmas without your dog, so _take the fucker inside_ so the rest of us don't have to listen to it! :roll:

A dog is not just for Christmas. With any luck there'll still be some left over to have on Boxing Day.


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## Gone (May 5, 2009)

Talking to the neighbours is underrated. I suggest dropping a festive card through the letter box. One that strongly suggests you have a friend called Mr Wong who works in the catering trade. :wink:


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## TTCool (Feb 7, 2005)

The thing that annoys me about dogs...yapping or craping...is their owners. They think their dogs can do no wrong 

Joe


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## ScoobyTT (Aug 24, 2009)

Clearly they're mistaken. Before six the other morning! And over an hour of constant yapping this morning. [smiley=bomb.gif] [smiley=bomb.gif] So much for my nice relaxing time off :x

I do wonder why the DOG doesn't get bored of its own voice or realize that it's not achieving anything. I guess it's just FUCKING STUPID!  Do they have memories like goldfish I wonder?


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## richieshore (May 17, 2010)

I'm sure you can report them to the council and they can get fined or something. Could always sneak into their garden with a sack and a couple of bricks, tie it up and throw it in a nearby river/lake/sea.


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## Toshiba (Jul 8, 2004)

.


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

ScoobyTT said:


> Clearly they're mistaken. Before six the other morning! And over an hour of constant yapping this morning. [smiley=bomb.gif] [smiley=bomb.gif] So much for my nice relaxing time off :x
> 
> I do wonder why the DOG doesn't get bored of its own voice or realize that it's not achieving anything. I guess it's just FUCKING STUPID!  Do they have memories like goldfish I wonder?


scooby buy a .22 air rifle and shoot it in the arse to give it something to yap about lol


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## ScoobyTT (Aug 24, 2009)

:lol: :lol: :lol: It's a great idea, really, but look at the fuss people made about putting a car in a bin. :roll: Perhaps it needs to have an "accident". Oh no, someone left a running chainsaw in its food bowl.


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## Dash (Oct 5, 2008)

I still think C4 with a remote detonator would be the most fun... [smiley=devil.gif]

Or maybe a small mortar to introduce an element of luck into it.


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## Gazzer (Jun 12, 2010)

ScoobyTT said:


> :lol: :lol: :lol: It's a great idea, really, but look at the fuss people made about putting a car in a bin. :roll: Perhaps it needs to have an "accident". Oh no, someone left a running chainsaw in its food bowl.


thats a cat m8eee...........real peeps dont love yappin dogs unless woman of middle wanting to be upper class but failing or gay guys tryin to look cool


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## ScoobyTT (Aug 24, 2009)

All work and no C4-based dog terminations makes Jack a dull boy.

All work and no C4-based dog terminations makes Jack a dull boy.

All work and no C4-based dog terminations makes Jack a dull boy.

All work and no C4-based dog terminations makes Jack a dull boy.

All work and no C4-based dog terminations makes Jack a dull boy.

All work and no C4-based dog terminations makes Jack a dull boy.

:lol: :lol: :lol:


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## seasurfer (Apr 10, 2009)

We have two westies two doors away but our gardens meet at one corner. One is very quiet and the other little sod never shuts ups, hears everything, sees everything , and barks just incase he's missed something.
I went round to see him and asked him not to let the noisy one in the back garden at midnight everynight, and not let him out at 5 or 6 am in the mornings. It worked for about 4 weeks, then gradually went backwards. 
It made us get the front bedroom finished  but after more months, we started hearing and being woken up again.
I found a 'Noise Nuisance' order on the web, stating a maximum of £5000 fine was in order for dogs barking.
It worked  we rarely hear them now. Worth a try.

Gill


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